Bonding

A few weeks later Punk had finally settled into Chicago again. Or so he believed. He had stayed away from AJ like she so desperately begged him to. And he also made sure he saw as little of Alba as possible. He wasn't sure why AJ was so against him being around her, but he respected her wishes.

He knew if this was how things had to be, he would never be able to live with himself for how badly he had messed up. Knowing that AJ needed him and he wasn't there just broke his heart, and he felt the effects of it whilst he was trying to focus on work.

"I never thought I would be in one of these." Kerry admitted as she strolled into Punk's office. Having her son back was the best thing. She'd missed him so much. Whilst AJ wanted to preach about how much he had changed, she just saw the same little boy she'd always known.

"Like it?" Punk asked her.

"It's very nice." Kerry nodded, looking around.

"I just gotta finish this and then we can grab lunch." He nodded. It was nice on his side to be able to see his mom more. He'd missed her so much and they'd had plenty of conversations about him leaving. He felt like she was the only one who really understood where his mind was at, but he supposed that was a very mom like thing to do. Understand.

"I passed lots of… nice girls." Kerry nodded to him, "Future wife maybe?" She teased as Punk just laughed in response.

"I don't think so." Punk answered as Kerry smiled. She didn't think so either. She was just saying it to see what he would say. She knew where his heart would always be.

"You know, I'm a little disappointed your father left me and you guys for… this." She looked around the office, "It's nice and all but… must be pretty lonely." She admitted as Punk nodded.

"Yeah, it is but… it's almost addicting." Punk admitted.

"I'm glad you enjoy it." Kerry said. She just wanted to see him happy of course.

"Well sometimes it's frustrating." Punk said, "But it pays off I guess. It's rewarding." He nodded.

"Well you were always smart." Kerry nodded, "But I'm really hungry so hurry up." She said as Punk nodded, logging off the computer and locking up the office before leaving to go for lunch.

They went across the street to the deli he normally met Dean at some days. It was also a bonus getting to see his brother more often. AJ however, he had stayed away from as she requested.

"It's going to be nice having you for Christmas this year." Kerry smiled as Punk nodded and then paused a little.

"Doesn't AJ come see you on Christmas?" Punk asked as Kerry nodded.

"Well maybe for one day you can both… put your differences aside-"

"I don't have differences. She's the one being awkward and mad." Punk said, "I want to talk with her but she doesn't let me."

"Because you hurt and she needs time." Kerry said as she had done many of times, "And actually, April is in the stages of moving to a bigger apartment and she's gonna… take Alba to stay with her. So you could come around in the morning if it really is such a big deal." She said.

"Why is she taking Alba? Have you guys talked about it?" Punk asked.

"Yeah, we've talked about it, I knew this wasn't forever. It wasn't like we agreed Alba would stay with me always. It was a temporary solution for AJ to… get healthy. And she has. Now she wants to take her into full-care." Kerry nodded, "I think she'll be fine. She's a great mom." She said as Punk nodded.

"I don't doubt it." Punk said, "She's moving now?"

"She's seen an apartment that she likes in the city. Two bedroom, reasonable price, she's been back and forth with the land lady so I assume she'll get it." Kerry nodded.

"You'll miss her." Punk said, "Alba I mean." He said as Kerry nodded.

"Oh, yeah. Of course I will. She was with me since she was… just 5 weeks old." Kerry said, "But I'm really happy for AJ. I know how much confidence it must take for her to make this step and I'm… I'm really proud of her." Kerry said as Punk just nodded, "You know I really hate it that you two can't even be friends." She shook her head, "And I've tried to talk to her, tried to get through to her but she's just so adamant."

"I should have saw it coming." Punk said, "She was always a blunt person and I did her wrong. She was happy. For the first time in so long. She told me that herself. She spent her entire upbringing taking care of her mom. When she came to us she… she started to live. And then I left. I know it was wrong. I see it from her point of view and I hate myself." He nodded.

"And you've apologised and done everything you possibly could. It's… it's up to her now." Kerry said as Punk nodded, "Do you still love her?" She asked.

"Of course I do." Punk sighed, "It's not like I just… left and forgot she existed-"

"I think she thinks that's what you did." Kerry nodded, "She thinks you just left, easily, and didn't care about her. Which I can understand why she would think that." She said.

"Well I explained to her that wasn't the case. It's not my fault if she doesn't believe me. I've sent her flowers. I even sent her kid a little… giraffe thing." Punk shook his head.

"She has a name, Phil." Kerry tutted.

"Alba." Punk said, "I sent Alba a gift." Punk said.

"Well, she likes giraffes so… that was good thinking." Kerry smiled, "I wish you could see her. I don't know why she's being so fussy about you not seeing Alba."

"I don't know either." Punk said, "I don't think she even knows." He said.

"She's still figuring a lot out. Yeah, she's doing very well with her job and possibly a new place, taking Alba back into full care but… she's still got a lot to get through, a lot to overcome." Kerry said.

"I know that." Punk sighed, "I wish I was there for her when she was in hospital. That gets to me the most. Knowing she needed me. I never would have left if I knew that's where things were heading."

"Well you didn't know anything." Kerry nodded, "It was difficult." She said, "Seeing her that way. So unhappy and not herself. She came home, left the college in the city, and I took care of her for a few months. She reapplied for the local college next to us and went there when she felt ready." She said as Punk nodded, "She's definitely got a good balance now. That was the hardest part, trying to find what works." She said.

"Yeah, Dean said." Punk nodded, "So she's on medication?"

"Yeah, medication and therapy." Kerry said as Punk nodded.

"She should be proud of herself." Punk said as Kerry nodded.

"Yeah, I think so." Kerry said, "Ok, I'm treating you to this-"

"Ma, no way." Punk shook his head.

"No, I am. You always pay." She said, giving him a stern look that he'd known all his life as a serious face not to talk back to.

"Ok." Punk laughed a little.

"I brought take-out!" Punk called, walking into Dean and Renee's apartment where he saw Dean sitting on the floor with Alba in the basket of his legs watching TV, "Uh…" Punk closed the door behind him and looked over, "What is she doing here?" Punk shook his head as Dean turned around.

"She has a name." Dean said, "I babysit on Saturdays. You knew that." He said.

"So why'd you invite me around?" Punk asked, "You know AJ doesn't want me around her."

"Well AJ isn't here." Dean said slyly, "So go plate up the food and we can have a cute dinner for three." He said as Punk rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"She'll kill me if she finds out." Punk said as Dean stood up, leaving Alba on the floor sitting as she was too busy watching the program she was following with her eyes carefully.

"No, she'll kill me. And personally, I think it's a bit over the top. She's one. You being around her makes no difference to anyone's life." Dean shook his head, "Seriously, I'm hungry. Go put the food out." He nodded as Punk sighed and walked through to the kitchen whilst Alba turned around to Dean, "What is it?" Dean asked her as Alba tilted her head, "What?" He smiled, picking her up, "You hungry? Is that it?" He asked her.

"Ba! Ba… ba! Bab!" Alba muttered whilst tapping his face.

"That's a good story." Dean hummed, walking through to the kitchen with her.

"So where is Renee?" Punk asked whilst Dean put Alba in her high chair.

"Working late." Dean said.

"Do you really have her every Saturday?" Punk asked, taking the food over to the table, sitting the plates down whilst Alba looked at him. She liked looking at him, so much so that she stretched herself around on her high chair to see where he was going behind her.

"Yeah, unless I really can't." Dean nodded, "I like it. She's no bother." He shrugged, "Hey, stop being nosey." Dean told her, "I can't get your straps in." He said, putting her little arms through the straps whilst Punk came and sat down at the table.

"What is she having?" Punk asked.

"Some of this." Dean said, "I'll fix her up a bit of everything." He said as Punk just nodded, "Have you seen AJ recently?" He asked, making up a little plate for Alba to have her dinner.

"No, not in a few weeks since I saw her at moms." Punk said, "She made herself clear. I won't bother her." He shrugged.

"That's bullshit." Dean shook his head, "She's so damn stubborn. I know what she's like. She thinks that if she forgives you or even talks to you then she's caving in. She's mad because she expects herself to be mad but… I know deep down she isn't." Dean said, "Here, you wanna feed yourself?" Dean asked Alba, sitting the plate on her high chair, giving her the plastic fork as Alba took it from him.

Punk watched her use the fork to get some rice, putting it in her mouth one grain at a time.

"We'll be here a while." Punk laughed a little as Dean nodded.

"She normally eats fast." Dean said, "Wait, pass me that bib over." He pointed as Punk reached over and handed it to him.

"You're quite the uncle." Punk laughed a little. He wouldn't know where to start if he had to take care of a baby.

"Hey, I like to give her back after one night." Dean assured him, putting the bib on Alba so she didn't spill anything, which she normally does.

"I'm over trying to understand AJ. I mean, it's not that I don't understand her. I do. I know she's hurt. Everything she's been through and I wasn't there. But it's been such a long time. And it's not like I walked out of a marriage with her. Or I cheated on her and left."

"Yeah but she's still not thrilled with what you done." Dean said, "I think what hurt her was you leaving so easily. I think if you gave her an explanation at the time. If you sat her down and told her this was what you wanted to do then… maybe she would have been ok." Dean nodded.

"Yeah, I know." Punk sighed, "I would do everything differently trust me." He nodded.

"Did you come back thinking you'd get back together?" Dean asked him.

"I mean… a think a part of me wanted that yeah. But I knew she'd be mad. I know her nature. She holds grudges. And… the way she lost her mom, and then me, she probably doesn't wanna get close to anyone else ever again." He shook his head.

"Yeah she's… never really made other friends or… had a boyfriend." Dean agreed with him.

"I don't want her to live her life that way because of what I did. That kills me." Punk sighed as Dean nodded, turning to Alba who was digging into her dinner, "She's hungry."

"Yeah well… you were a little late." Dean said with raised brows.

"Well I didn't know I was accommodating a baby." Punk said, "She's like… AJ's image." Punk shook his head.

"Yeah, it's scary. Even when she was just born she looked like her." Dean nodded.

Alba continued to feed herself her own dinner, when she got fed up with her own fork and wanted someone else's. She dropped hers on the floor and reached out to Punk's hand, tapping it where his fork was in as Punk laughed a little.

"No, babies can't have big forks." Punk told her, "You have a nice… pink and blue one." He said, handing her back her plastic one as Alba took it from him as she began using it again. He smiled to himself and shook his head. She was extremely cute.

They finished up eating dinner and it seemed like immediately that Alba needed her diaper changed. Dean got up, taking her out of the high chair when he heard the door go.

"Shit, that'll be the rent." Dean said, "Take her." He nodded, passing Alba over as Punk shook his head immediately, "Take her, Phil. She's not a bomb." He shook his head, "And go change her. I needa talk to Larry about the toilet in here it keeps leaking." He said.

"I don't know how to change a diaper." Punk screwed his face up, standing up.

"Well then go learn." Dean said as Punk took Alba from him as he rushed away out of the kitchen.

Punk looked on at Alba, holding her under her arms like she really was a bomb. She stared at him with a little confusion, wondering why he was holding her out so funnily.

He sucked it up and held her against him properly, walking on out of the kitchen and through to the bedroom where her changing mat was lying on the bed. He lay her down on it and put his hands on his hips, wondering what to do next whilst Alba looked at him.

"I know you're used to people with the experience, I get it." Punk spoke to her as he looked around the room for diapers and other things he assumed he would need, "I know I wouldn't be your first pick but… you know, gotta do what we gotta do." He spoke, finding what seemed to be a diaper bag thankfully, "Ah, ok." He said triumphantly.

"So I don't really know what you're supposed to call me." Punk admitted whilst he began to change her diaper, "Because you can't call me uncle. That's like… super weird." He said, talking to her as though she was an adult, "That would be like… I dated your sister. And that's weird." He cringed a little.

"You don't say much." Punk said, looking down at her as she just seemed to be looking around whilst he changed her, "When you gonna start speaking? Huh?" He asked, putting the new diaper on her once he had cleaned her up, "So you just… stick it like that?" He spoke to himself, "That looks about right." He nodded to himself, "Hey, look at that. Both of us are still alive. We made it." Punk said in a funny voice as Alba laughed, which made him smile.

He tidied away the diaper bag and sat it over, lifting her up once he got her bottoms back on, "You're kinda cute." Punk nodded, picking her up from the changing mat.

Being a tired one year old, she was thankful to have any shoulder to rest her head on, but his looked extra comfy. Punk watched as she leaned her head on him, relaxing her little body against him. It melted him completely and he knew if this little girl ever needed anything, he'd be there.

Dean watched from the gap at the door and smiled to himself, walking on by into the perfectly working toilet.