Chapter 33
Deep noises weakly resounded in the haze of his mind, and as the fog of sleep gradually lifted, his senses became more acute. Kid stirred in bed, still half-asleep, and as he finally realized that what his ears perceived was the sounds of somebody throwing up, he quickly sat up.
His eyes darted towards the end of the bedroom, and then he saw Lou bending over the washbowl stand, violently getting sick. The image did not come as a surprise to the Southerner because it was not the first time. A couple of days ago Lou had started feeling poorly and got sick several times a day. Kid had wanted her to go to the doctor, but Lou had refused, arguing that this was just nothing to worry about.
Louise still felt nauseous and continued retching even though her stomach was completely empty. She placed her hand on her belly as she felt cramps and familiar pains. Little by little the nausea faded, and very slowly she straightened up. She got slightly startled as she felt Kid's hands grabbing and holding her softly. After being violently sick, she felt shaken, and her legs were weak, so she was thankful for Kid's strong hands supporting her weak body.
"How are you feeling?"
Feeling unable to speak up, Lou simply nodded, and let him walk her back to bed. She laid down, closed her eyes, and breathed in. Her forehead glistened with cold sweat, and tears escaped from the corner of her eyes after the struggling effort of continuously being sick.
Kid softly caressed her stomach, making circular motions, since he knew that it soothed her. "Lou, why don't we go to the doctor?" he asked, but Louise did not say anything. "Honey, have you thought that the reason you feel unwell is that you might be expecting?"
Lou's eyes instantly shot open, and stared at the ceiling above her. "A baby?" she whispered very softly.
"Haven't you thought about that possibility?"
"Yes," she said in the same soft voice, at the same time praying that what Kid was saying could be true, but somehow she felt that was not the explanation to her queasy stomach.
"It is possible, ain't it, Lou? We haven't been careful at all."
Lou kept thoughtful, trying to remember if she had had her period since she and Kid had gotten back together. She was sure she had it before leaving for Rock Creek, but not in these almost two months. Naturally that did not mean anything because she had never been regular. "Yes, it's possible," she said in a tiny voice.
"Please, Lou. Let's go to the doctor today, and find out."
Louise nodded, and rolled over on the bed so that she could look at Kid, who was lying next to her. "How would you feel if we indeed were to have a baby?"
"How do you think I can feel? Having a baby with you can only make me happier if that's possible." Lou remained serious, and the Southerner grew concerned. "Wouldn't you feel the same, honey?"
"Of course I would!" Lou promptly replied. "I'd love nothing better than having your child!"
"Then what's that face for?"
"I was just remembering something," Lou muttered.
"Remembering what?"
Lou sighed, and snuggling closer to him, she wrapped her arms around his bare trunk. "When… when I got word that you… you were dead, I cursed everything and everybody under the sun. I was going crazy with pain, and I felt so utterly lonely. I had nothing… nothing from you, and I cried for you and… and … and for the baby we never had. That is what I wished I had… a child with your blue eyes, your sandy hair, and your good heart." As she talked, she caressed his face, ran her fingers though his tousled curls, and finally rested her hand on his chest. "A child to feel some part of you was still here with me. That would've been the only thing that would have brought me some peace… a little peace, but I had nothing… nothing."
"Lou, I'm so sorry."
Louise shook her head. "Don't be," she added. "Looking back, I now know it wasn't meant to be, and I'm glad there wasn't a child of ours back then. I wasn't in my best condition to be a mother. My sadness tinted everything, and it wouldn't have been good for a baby… I wouldn't have been good."
"Let's not think about that, Lou," Kid said, brushing his hands up and down her back. "All those ugly memories led us where we're today. That's the way we have to think about them, and you're gonna be a terrific ma."
"Do you think so?" Louise asked hesitatingly. She needed his reassurance because now she was not feeling too confident, and those panicky sensations kept invading her mind from time to time, making her doubt everything.
Kid shook his head. "I'm sure of it."
Lou smiled. "Life's given us a second chance, and I ain't gonna let it go," Lou stated firmly. Her words were rather aimed to convince herself. However, doubts and that annoying voice continued nagging her, threatening her peace of mind, and all she wanted was to silence it forever, or at least muffle it. She stared into Kid's eyes, and added, "Everything's gonna be fine."
Sitting on a lone chair in the empty, small hall, Kid kept spinning his hat in his hands. Lou was inside the doctor's office while he waited nervously. Dr. Hill had welcomed them with a smile. The physician seemed to be quite amiable, and looked like most of the doctors Kid had come across in his life: middle-aged, spectacled, pale-skinned, white-haired, and a moody expression on his countenance, which did not alter even when he was smiling.
Kid had explained to the doctor why they wanted to see him, and what their hopes were. Dr. Hill asked Lou a few questions, and then kindly told Kid to step outside and wait while he examined her.
The creaking sound of the door had Kid jumping to his feet all of a sudden. "Mr. McCloud," Dr. Hill said as he appeared at the threshold separating his office and the waiting area. "You can come in now."
The Southerner walked into the office after the physician. Lou was sitting before the doctor's wide, mahogany desk, and Kid approached. Louise reached out for his hand, which she squeezed. Kid felt her hands were cold and clammy, and still on his feet he looked down at her, trying to read the expression on her face.
"Please, sit down, Mr. McCloud," Dr. Hill kindly added, as he sank down in the elegant, leather armchair behind his desk. When Kid was finally seated, the doctor started, "I'm afraid your expectations for a baby weren't right. Mrs. McCloud isn't in the family way."
Kid's eyes immediately darted to his wife, and noticed the disappointment in her. "Don't worry, honey," he said, pressing her hand affectionately. "This doesn't mean anything. We have plenty of time ahead of us."
"I… I know," Lou muttered, but something in his words made her whole body shudder, and an undefined pressure in her chest threatened to stifle her.
Kid turned his attention back to the doctor. "Then why has my wife been feeling poorly lately?
Dr. Hill removed his spectacles, massaged the area between his eyes, and then glanced at Lou. "We've already discussed this before Louise. The ulcer you suffered years ago can bother you from time to time. It often happens when you go through an especially emotional period, which doesn't mean it has to be something negative." Dr. Hill paused, and added, "I don't intend to pry, but have you been experiencing emotions lately?"
Louise glimpsed at Kid through the corner of her eye before she nodded. "My stomach has bothered me before, but I haven't felt as nauseous as now."
Dr. Hill raised his eyebrows in a resigned expression. "Our bodies don't react in the same way every time."
"But she'll feel better soon, won't she?" Kid asked urgently as worry was more than obvious on his face.
"Naturally," Dr. Hill replied, totally convinced, and his eyes turned to Lou again. "You already know what you have to do. Watch out what you eat. Try having just soft foods, anything that's easy to digest, and drink lots of liquid, especially that digestive tisane you normally drink."
Lou nodded, already familiar with the procedures, but not too happy about it. Kid rose to thank the doctor, and shook hands with him. Dr. Hill smiled as he walked the couple to the door and bid them goodbye.
The door closed behind them, and Dr. Hill walked back into his office. At the end of the room there was another door, and he marched decidedly towards it, and knocked his knuckles on its surface. "You can come in now; the coast is clear."
Dr. Hill did not wait for whoever he had talked to, and returned to his seat at his desk. As the door creaked open, he lifted his eyes to the young man who approached. "Is it true? Is she pregnant?"
Dr. Hill shrugged his shoulders. "Hard to tell yet. Some people aren't patient enough, but thankfully, if she is pregnant or not, it doesn't matter, does it?" The doctor noticed the strange expression on the young man's face, and grew curious. "Why are you looking so upset all of a sudden?"
"I'm not sure about this, sir. It's … it's too risky. It hasn't been so long since Jeremiah's death."
"Man, you sometimes drive me up the wall!" Dr. Hill snarled, banging his fist on the desk, which sent a layer of dust to the air. "What happened to Jeremiah and this are two totally different things. What's your idea? Wait until she gets pregnant for sure… or maybe until the baby gets christened? You know that would be too bad for us."
"Yes, I know, but I fear the sheriff might suspect something. It'd be strange that two young, healthy people from the same family die so suddenly, and so close in time."
"You know we have to do this… we're running out of time!" Dr. Hill continued. "If you have so many reservations about precious Louise McCloud, you should have tried harder to seduce her as I told you, and then this wouldn't be happening."
"She's already married… and she's been all this time."
"That doesn't really matter. A husband can easily be disposed of. There's something called divorce. But of course, you had to go and play with her sister! Albert, this is taking longer than I counted on because of you!"
The young man's face was red with a mixture of indignation and shame. "Don't blame me! All I'm saying is that we've got to be careful!"
"There's no danger, Albert. You have nothing to be afraid of. I'm the only physician here, because you can't really count the old wheezer the army has. Louise has a history of stomach problems. Nobody in this town of ignorants would doubt my word. Her ulcer could easily turn into a more serious condition, for example, a deadly tumor."
"I guess you're right."
"I am, Albert, you know I am," Dr. Hill stated. "Just make sure you follow my instructions, and add the right quantity every day, not too much, as I told you. Her deterioration has to be subtle and gradual."
"Yes, I know."
"Everything's gonna be all right, son. Even if there's slight suspicion and they find that tisane has been tampered with, the most logical suspect would be Jack or that uncle of his. I very much doubt that'll happen, but if that's the case, we'll worry about building good evidence against them."
Albert nodded. He did not know why he was so pessimistic today, but he knew that having that Southern rancher nosing around his house all day long made him nervous since he could not act so freely now. "You're absolutely right. I'm sorry for being so negative."
"Just relax, Albert. The day Louise McCloud knocked on your door was our big stroke of luck! We've worked too hard to reach here, and we're almost done. Let's not spoil things."
"And soon we'll be clicking glasses brimmed with champagne to celebrate our success!" Albert exclaimed with a grin. Dr. Hill also smiled. Albert sent a look at the clock on the wall, and noticed the time. "I have to go now. Theresa must be wondering where I am."
"Remember, use the back door, and make sure nobody sees you."
Albert nodded with slow motions. He was tired of hearing the same recommendations whenever he came here, but he never protested. He could not protest. "All right," he muttered as he walked back to the door, and before he walked out, he turned his head and simply said, "See you soon, Father."