Ziva woke early the next morning. She rolled gently out of Tony's embrace to look at the time. Half past four. She tried to go back to sleep but when she had no luck she got up and went for a jog round the park. As she was running round the block to the park people who she'd killed and her deceased family members kept appearing as hallucinations.
The first one was Ari. He started jogging alongside her. "Why did you kill me for them, Ziva?" He asked.
"They're good people…you were turning into a monster." She replied not knowing why.
"But I am your brother. I am your own flesh and blood. You did not even know them. You killed me for them."
Ziva sped up to lose him and he slowly faded. A few people she'd killed ran next to her then her mother. "I am proud of you Ziva. You are a good girl. I want you to have a safe and happy marriage like your father and I once had. He is a good man. Do not let him go. I love you"
Ziva slowed her pace "I love you too, Ima" She glanced to her left where her mother had been but she disappeared. She ran through the park gate and started to do her usual circuit when Tali appeared next to her as her sixteen year old self laughing and riding a bike. She was laughing, happy. Ziva's breath hitched as she saw her sister and she stumbled and fell. She looked up to catch a last glimpse of Tali as she rode her bike away.
Someone came up and squatted down behind her and touched her back gently. "Are you alright, Miss?" He asked kindly.
It was an early morning dog walker. Ziva nodded "I'm fine. I just caught my footing. Thank you" She stood and brushed herself off and started running home. She pelted it as fast as she could so she could get to the security of the apartment. When she got there she accidently slammed the door. She turned and leant against it with her and her eyes closed. She sunk to the floor breathing heavily. She didn't realize she'd hit her head and scraped her knee badly when she fell until she started to feel light headed. She didn't know the liquid trickling down her face was blood mixed with tears.
Tony walked out the bedroom and took one look at her and rushed to her side, sitting down next to her and putting his arms round her. "Hey, hey…what's wrong? What happened?" He asked her.
"Tali…" was all she managed to gasp out. He didn't know what she was talking about so he pulled her to her feet got her a glass of water to drink and gently wiped her face and knee of all the blood that was on them. He gently helped her out of her sweaty clothes and helped her back to bed and slowly and soothingly traced patterns on her back so she'd fall asleep. He continued with tracing the patterns until the sun started to rise and she woke up again. Her hand when to her head where she had cut it. There was no mark but it was obviously causing some amount of pain.
"Are you okay, Ziva?" Tony asked.
"Yes…fine…"
"What happened earlier?"
"I don't know. I couldn't sleep so I went for a run and I saw all the people I'd killed and my family. Everyone spoke to me but Tali didn't…then I fell and she was gone…" Tony looked at her worriedly not knowing what to say. "What's the time?" She asked clearly trying to change the subject.
"Nine forty five" He said glancing at his bedside clock.
She rolled onto her back and pulled the sheets up to cover herself. "What do you want to do today?" She asked.
"Nothing"
"Again?"
He nodded "Yeah."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in "Okay. That suits me"
He nodded. "I'm gonna write to the guys out in Afghanistan today"
Ziva nodded "That would be nice. Do you want breakfast?"
He nodded "Yeah, but I can get it" He said
"You made breakfast yesterday, so I'm making breakfast today. Tell me what you want and I'm making it"
He thought then kissed her nose "Surprise me"
She smiled and got up and pulled a shirt over her head and pants. Tony headed to the living room with paper and a pen to start his letter to the four out fighting.
The breakfast didn't take long to make and both sat in silence with their own thoughts. When they were done Ziva took the plate's away and started washing up. Tony got back to writing his letters and Ziva came through and started playing the piano that was sat by the window.
They both sat doing their own things for most of the day and after lunch Ziva went back to the piano.
Tony was happy with it for a while until it started to distract him. "Ziva, can you stop, please? I can't concentrate"
She stopped and turned to face him silently asking if he was being serious by the look on her face. He nodded and she closed the lid of the piano. "Is there anything I can do without you being distracted or that would stop you concentrating?" She snapped.
"Hey! I asked nicely! I'm just trying to sort something out here and I need to concentrate fully otherwise I'll screw it up"
Ziva stood up and walked to the couch and sat down looking at the wall ahead of her. Tony looked at her. "Ziva? Why are you acting like this?"
"Just wondering, Tony, if when I am trying to concentrate on something important, do I ask you to stop watching one of your lame movies or playing you x-box or whatever?"
He shook his head "No, but I'm sure if you asked I would."
Ziva turned to look at him "But I don't ask because it's an unreasonable request."
He looked down at his papers and tapped his pen and she continued talking "I am going to get a book and bring it through here to read, considering I cannot play, would the turning of the pages annoy you or would that be okay?"
"Ziva…I'm just trying to concentrate"
"Yes but I was simply playing the piano which only makes a nice noise which cannot really distract you with lyrics or words and you watch a film which can distract you."
Tony stood up "Fine. Do whatever you want. I'll just do this another time!" He snapped.
"No. Carry on with whatever the hell is so important I cannot breathe and I'll just go and sit and a corner quietly doing nothing. That sounds like a brilliant plan" She stood up and raised her voice a little.
"I don't care what you do, David! Do whatever the hell you want! You're always pushing me away when I want to help you! You never seem to want me to do anything!" Tony started shouting at her.
"It's because I don't want to hurt you in the process!" She shouted back.
"Oh really? I ask you what's wrong and why you're upset or whatever and you put your barrier back up! You pretend nothing has happened in your life and that you're not upset and you don't get upset about it!"
"It's because I feel fine with you! I'm happy and I don't want to bring stuff up that makes me unhappy! That's not what I want!"
"What if I said when you push me away it makes me worried you don't trust me! That you don't want to tell me anything? Like with the whole running thing this morning! I try and talk to you about it but you changed the subject faster than I could blink! Tali's dead Ziva! You didn't see her! Or your mother or Ari! They're all dead!"
The look on Ziva's face realized he'd over stepped the mark. He didn't know why he said it. She looked like she had been stabbed. She turned to get her shoes and put her coat on. She headed for the door "That was out of line, Tony. And if that's the way you feel then I'm sorry but not everyone can be perfect can they? And I'm not sure I can be around someone who tell me things like that and feels about me that way" She said calmly.
Tony watched her as she grabbed her keys and headed to the door. He said her name quietly "Ziva"
She turned as she opened the door "You can't be like that with me now, Tony. Not after you just said that."
He nodded "Okay…when will you be back?"
She paused and looked at the floor "I don't know."
He nodded and watched her go. As the door closed behind her he stood looking at it then turned and punched the wall causing the plaster to crumble and a hole now sat in the wall. He sat back at the table and looked at the paper. 'Not worth losing her over' he thought. He stood up and moved to the couch and lay down and thought about what he'd said and done to lead up to her walking out.
She was right. When she was doing important and he was watching a film or doing something he wanted she never complained. He realized he was being unreasonable and what he said to her before she left about Tali was completely out of order. He felt stupid and like a complete ass. She didn't deserve what he'd said. He sighed and rolled his eyes around the room. They settled on the presents she hadn't opened yet. He sighed and felt worse about it all.
He just lay there for the rest of the evening thinking about the situation and how it would have been resolved if he wasn't such an ass-hole about it.
Ziva had just pulled into a motel thirty miles from hers and Tony's apartment and managed to get a room. "Stay as long as you need. We collect payments by the week." Ziva recalled the woman at the front desk telling her. 'Will I really need to stay that long?' she asked herself. She reflected on the day's events that bought her hear. Was it necessary for her to walk out on him and leave her engagement ring behind? When he said her name he looked like she'd murdered his puppy. She knew he knew he'd been an ass about it but she still responded in the way she did and she wasn't sure she needed to respond in that way. She knew she was out of order snapping at him about the noise of the pages turning and sitting in a corner and not doing anything.
Her phone started ringing and she looked at the caller ID. Abby; She didn't really want to talk to her right now but she picked up the phone anyway. "Hello"
"Hey, Ziva, I think I gave me earrings to Tony, last night because he had pockets…can you ask him quickly?"
"I'm not with Tony, Abby"
"Oh, is he out? Sorry, can you check when he gets home?"
"He's not out, Abby"
"You're out?"
"Yes, you could say that"
"Oh, well could you check with him when you get home please?"
"I'm not going home, Abby. If you want to know, I'd ask him"
"Wait…what?...What do you mean you're not going home?"
"As I said…if you want to know if he has your earrings then you might want to call him." She hung up the phone without saying anything else. She knew Abby would figure it out and demand more information out of Tony and she also knew he'd give it to her. He was easy to get to and get information out of unlike her.
She lay on the single bed and looked at the ceiling thinking about what she could have done differently to prevent the events which led to her coming here.
Tony stood up to go to the bathroom and he spotted Ziva's ring on the cabinet by the door. He picked it up and looked at it, punching the wall. He heard his phone ringing and looked at it hoping it was Ziva. No such luck. Abby. "Hey, Abs" He greeted her sounding tired.
"Tony! You tell me what's happened! Right now before I have to come over there and force it out of you!" Abby demanded.
Tony played dumb "What do you mean? Tell you what?"
"You know damn well what I'm talking about! Tell me what the hell happened between you and Ziva!"
Trust her to know "How do you know something happened?"
"I just spoke to Ziva! She refused to tell me anything other than she's not going home and she's not with you!"
Tony sighed. He had hoped that she'd just gone out for a drive and at very lest come home and one of them sleep on the couch but now he'd found her engagement ring and Abby had confirmed he knew she wasn't. "We just had a bit of a misunderstanding, that's all, Abs"
"A misunderstanding usually gets resolved in five minutes! Not where one half doesn't come home! Tell me what happened!"
Tony sighed and gave in telling her everything she wanted to know. "And that's it" He concluded.
Abby was clearly appalled "You said WHAT to her?!"
"You heard me" He didn't want to repeat it.
"Tony! Why would you even tell her that?! What the hell were you thinking?!"
"I wasn't thinking Abby! I gathered that I screwed up! I don't need to be told that!"
"Sorry! I think you should call her…to tell her that you're sorry and try and talk things over…"
"Yeah, Abs, I will"
"You promise?"
"I promise I'll call her, okay?"
"Oh and did you have my earrings?"
"Yeah, I'll give them to you on Monday"
"Thank you"
Abby now took it upon herself to make sure Tony and Ziva were going to be okay. She set up her computer and programmed it to alert her when Tony and Ziva's phones made communication with each other. She sat there looking at it for a while then put the TV on waiting for Tony's promised call. It never came. She soon fell asleep after waiting for the call for so long.
She was still sleeping on the couch when her computer started beeping loudly. She jumped and pressed a few buttons and looked on the screen. It wasn't Tony calling Ziva like he promised. It was Ziva calling Tony. She looked at the time. A quarter past one…in the morning. She closed her computer and turned it off so they could talk in private.
Ziva was still lying awake thinking about what had happened when she saw another hallucination of her mother. This time Tali was with her. They sat on either side of her on the bed and her mother started stroking her hair. She almost felt it even though she knew it wasn't real. "Ziva…." Tali as her sixteen year old self spoke. "Why did you leave him?"
Ziva looked at her "I don't know…"
Her mother spoke next "Remember what I said this morning, Ziva…I want you to have a safe and happy marriage like your father and I once had. He is a good man. Do not let him go."
"I think it's too late for that, Ima…I walked out and left my ring there"
Tali shook her head "It is never too late. If you love him and he loves you, you will both be able to sort it out."
Their mother shook their head "You should not have said 'if' there Tali…Ziva loves Tony and Tony clearly loves her. It may as well be written on your foreheads that you belong with each other."
"Ziva….call him and talk to him….or go home and talk to him. If you could see him right now you would know how much you mean to him and how much he regrets what he said."
She looked between her mother and her sister and realized they were right. She needed to call Tony. She looked at the time "But it is one am"
"You think he wouldn't want to hear from you? You don't think he would want to know you are really okay?"
"No it's not that….It is one am and people usually sleep at this time."
"Are you asleep?" Tali asked.
"No"
"Why?"
"Because I am thinking about earlier…I can't sleep…I keep thinking about what I could have done differently"
"Yes…"
"I don't see the point"
"Do you not think he'll be awake thinking what he could have done differently? About what happened?"
Ziva thought for a minute "I don't know."
"Of course he will!"
Ziva looked between her sister and her mother again and picked up her phone. She didn't hesitate to press the number one on her speed dial which held Tony's number and held her phone to her ear feeling a bit nervous. She didn't want to screw up further.
The phone rang over and over and over but Tony didn't pick up. She put the phone down shaking a bit. He didn't want to talk to her. She looked up at Tali and her mother but they were gone. She looked at the ceiling and held her phone to her chest. She tried to force the tears back but she couldn't and she let a few spill out.
She was laying there for five minutes before her phone started vibrating. She slowly raised it doubting that it would be, Tony. She looked at the ID. It was. She waited a minute before she pressed answer. She held the phone to her ear but was greeted by the long beep that told her she disconnected the call. She looked at it and it showed her that she had accidently pressed the decline button rather than the accept.
She unlocked it quickly calling him back. It rung twice and he answered "Ziva?"
"Hello"
"Did you need something?"
She thought for a minute and Tali appeared and whispered in her ear telling her what to say.
"Ziva? Did you need something?"
"Yes." She paused "To hear your voice."
Tony was silent for a minute "Are you okay?"
"I don't know."
"Why? What's on your mind?"
"Earlier."
"Me too…Can I say something?"
"Yes…so long…"
He cut her short "I'm sorry…I didn't mean what I said about Tali and…and everyone else. I know that was below the belt and completely out of line. And if I'm honest I was being a bit out of order with asking you to stop playing. Your music…eherm…it was actually really nice and I kinda missed it when it was gone…" He paused. "I miss you too"
Ziva was silent knowing that if she spoke her voice would break. "You there, Ziva?" Tony asked.
"Yeah…" She whispered it so her voice didn't give her away. She sniffed and wiped her eyes which did give her away.
"Are you okay, Ziva?" He asked.
"No" She answered honestly. She heard him sigh. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I know I over reacted about you asking me to stop. I know how it feels and…"
He cut her short again "Yeah but the thing is you never ask me to stop watching my films and playing my x-box. You just let me get on with it. I should have done that today then we wouldn't be having this discussion."
Ziva stayed silent again. "I miss you too Tony…" She said after a while.
"Then come home"
"I don't know. I think this break might be good for both of us. We're with each other all day every day. Sometimes a break is what is needed."
"Yeah" He whispered. "Maybe" Neither said anything for a while.
"Tony, I'm sorry…I never meant to take my ring off…I'm sorry…It was a spur of the moment thing"
"It's okay…Will you at least tell me where you are?"
"At a motel about thirty miles away from home." She told him.
"Okay." He wasn't sure what else to say. Neither was she.
"I'll uh…I'll see you Monday" She said.
He was quiet. ""Yeah…oh and Ziva?"
"Yes?"
"I love you"
"I love you too, Tony."
Neither of them wanted to hang up but in the end Ziva did. She breathed a shaky breath in. She didn't want to stay here. She wanted to go home and talk it through properly with Tony but she knew they both needed it.
The three days Ziva was away dragged on for both of them. She wanted to get in her car and drive home but she kept herself from it. He waited each night- even after her telling him she'd see him on Monday- he waited for her to come home and walk through the door. But both were nervous about seeing each other. They knew they needed to talk about what happened and neither wanted it to be awkward. Ziva remembered what Tony had told her once 'Nothing is awkward between friends'
Monday came and when Tony got to work he was greeted by a pacing Abby. She looked past him into the elevator. "Well where's Ziva?" She demanded.
Tony shrugged "On her way, why?"
"Why didn't she come with you?!"
"Because she wasn't at home…Abby, its fine okay, she'll be here soon"
"Yeah but she didn't come in with you! Why not?!"
"Because she was at a motel somewhere"
"Why?!"
"We both agreed we needed a break so she stayed there for a few days"
"You needed a break from what?" Abby barked. She wanted to know everything and she wanted to know it now.
"From each other, Abby" Ziva said as she walked past both of them.
Abby clomped after her "Ziva, Ziva, Ziva, Ziva!" She grabbed Ziva's arm and pulled her round to face her. "Why did you need a break from each other?"
"It doesn't matter, Abby"
Abby stomped her foot "The hell it doesn't matter!"
Ziva sighed "Okay then how about, it is none of your business?"
"No need to jump down my throat! Someone obviously got out of the wrong side of the bed."
"It technally wasn't a bed so I can't really say that" Ziva dumped her bag behind her desk and faced Tony. "Can we talk?"
"Yeah…conference room?" he asked
She nodded and he dumped his stuff and followed her.
Abby stood and stared at them walking away and then looked at McGee. "McGee?! Why would they need a break from each other?"
McGee shrugged "I don't know, Abby…they're with each other every day and every night and sometimes people need breaks in order for the relationship to work and stay health"
"But why them?"
"I don't know, Abby…just let them fight it out…and sort it out okay? They're adults"
Gibbs walked in "Who's adults? And what do they wanna fight out?"
Abby spun on him "Tony and Ziva…did you and Shannon fight?"
Gibbs looked at her "Well yeah…every couple fights no matter how close they may be…it's kinda a law of relationships…it's normal okay?" Abby frowned and nodded. "Where are they?"
"Conference room"
Gibbs nodded and looked at McGee "Go get the van, we're going on a field trip."
McGee nodded and stood as Gibbs walked to the conference room. When he got there he knocked on the door. Tony called for him to come in. "You two sorted? We're needed"
Tony looked at Ziva "Are we sorted?"
Ziva stood up and placed her hand on his shoulder. He turned and looked at it and spotted the engagement ring on her finger. "What the hell?" He said confused.
She smirked. "Did you not notice me tugging at your pocket when I walked past you this morning?"
He shook his head "No…I give it to you…you're sneaky" He grinned and quickly kissed her. "You sure we're okay and sorted?" She nodded. "Good." He turned to Gibbs "Where we going, Boss?"
"A field trip…we've been asked to escort a school class of marines kids…"
"Why?"
"I dunno. I just agreed to it." Gibbs said walking out.
Don't hate me for making them argue. You just gotta do things like this to make it interesting. They're fine now...and it is true...sometimes in a relationship when you spend every minute of everyday with each other you need breaks so Tony and Ziva got theirs...hope you enjoyed it...the next chapter is gonna be kinda cute...the NCIS team with kids... (Ziva and Gibbs especially cute :') )