Note to readers: I just want to let you all know how sorry I am that I haven't updated Cherished in so long. Something unexpected happened in my life that made it too difficult to write for a while. I will honestly try to update more often from now on, though, and again, I do apologize for the delay. Thank you to everyone who has faved, followed, or reviewed Cherished. Your support means everything to me. :)
Chapter 34: Growing
Even though everyone else in the palace fell head over heels in love with little Gracie instantly, for the first several weeks she was there, her self-esteem remained painfully low, as it had been throughout her life. For most of her young life, her mother had told her horrible, abusive things and had really put her down much of the time, which in turn had taken a pretty devastating toll on her. It was next to impossible for her to believe in herself, and a person could easily tell just by looking into her eyes that she was a little girl who was in a lot of pain. The social workers at both children's homes where she'd lived before had all tried very hard, and had made a little progress with her, but more work needed to be done to help bring Gracie out of her shell. After she had been there for a couple of weeks, Andrew paid them a visit at the palace, and he really hit it off with her, which in turn helped bring her out of her shell a tiny bit more, and whenever Lilly visited it helped a little as well, but she still remained pretty withdrawn.
It wasn't until mid-March, about eight weeks after Gracie first came to stay in the palace, that Mia made some true headway with her. It was noon, and Mia was sitting at her desk in her office finishing up some paperwork and getting ready to quit work to eat lunch when Clarisse came in and they started talking. Unbeknownst to either of them, little Gracie had come along the very moment after Clarisse entered Mia's office and was hanging around outside, listening to every word they were saying.
"Hi, Grandma," Mia said as Clarisse walked inside, signing the last of the forms that needed to be signed for that day. "I'm just finishing up some paperwork here. What are you up to?"
"Nothing much. I just thought that since you didn't have to have lunch with any diplomats or Parliamentarians today, you could eat with your grandma and grandpa for a change."
Mia smiled knowingly and said, "Come to check up on me, have you?"
Mia had developed a severe chest cold the week before, and much to Clarisse's chagrin, had continued to work hard all the way through it without taking any time off. Even though her cold had begun a week ago, she still was feeling under the weather and didn't have much of an appetite. For the past few days, the staff had noticed (and had let Clarisse know) that she'd been skipping meals. Mia knew her grandmother well and she knew this was more than just a social call. She knew she'd come to make sure she'd eat something, and that really touched her. In the past, Clarisse had not always displayed such tender concern for her granddaughter, and it meant a great deal to Mia to be reminded of the fact that she really did mean a lot to her grandmother. Of course Clarisse had always loved Mia, but she hadn't always been that good at showing it. Now though, thankfully, things were very different between them.
"I've come to make sure you're not skipping lunch again like I hear you did yesterday and the day before, and the day before that."
"Eh, big deal. You know better than anyone that a queen has to watch her figure."
"You've always had a fantastic figure. As a matter of fact, I've often thought to myself over the years that you were a bit too small. I think it would actually be good for you to gain a pound or two."
During Mia's earlier days in the palace, Clarisse scolded her to keep an eye on her figure whenever she caught her eating ice cream, so hearing her say that now was a bit surprising. "I remember all the lectures I used to get from you about being careful about my diet and my weight whenever you found me eating ice cream back in my first year or so in the palace. Now, you actually want me to gain weight?"
"Well, let's just say that it was the Queen giving you those lectures about watching your weight a lot more than it was Grandma. Now, you're not speaking to the Queen. You're speaking to Grandma, and Grandma doesn't like it one bit to see you skipping meals."
Mia put aside her paperwork and laid down her pen then and responded, "I'm sorry if I worried you, Grandma. It's just hard to have much of an appetite sometimes when you're battling a cold."
"I know it is, darling. But no matter how hard it is to eat when you're fighting a cold, you still have to. You're in an extremely stressful job. You're carrying the weight of the entire country of Genovia on your shoulders. And there's your previous medical history we have to think about, too. You simply must take good care of yourself at all times."
"I know I have to, Grandma. I know," Mia said, and then she got up from her seat and walked around to where Clarisse was standing. "So where do you and Grandpa want to have lunch today? My suite? Your suite? Or do you want to eat in the dining room or in the kitchen?"
"Why don't we all just eat together in the kitchen?"
"That's fine with me. I'll go and get Gracie. I'd really like for her to eat with us, too."
"That's a terrific idea. I know I'll probably sound like a broken record when I say this, but I'm just crazy about that little girl. She is such a little sweetheart."
"I know. I know what I said before, that I'll wait as long as it takes until she feels she's ready to accept me as a mom before I talk to her about adopting her, and that I won't force her into accepting her title and becoming the Princess of Genovia. But every time I look at her, every time I watch her, I just get so impatient for the day to get here when I can finally adopt her, and I become more and more certain all the time that she'll make such a wonderful princess."
"I feel exactly the same. She couldn't be any sweeter or more loving if she tried, and even though she's so young, I can tell that she already has the characteristics of a true princess. She's very caring, and incredibly conscientious for someone so little. She's so sensitive and gentle. You know, Gracie may not be related to you biologically, but in a manner of speaking, there is so much of you in her, Mia. That's how I know she's going to be such an outstanding princess, and eventually queen someday. She's so much like you."
"Thanks so much for saying that, Grandma," Mia said with a big smile.
Clarisse returned the smile and responded, "I was only telling the truth."
"No!" Gracie yelled as she suddenly came running inside, carrying her favorite pink bunny. "No!"
"What is it, Gracie?" Mia asked as she knelt down to get at eye level with her. "What's wrong?"
"No princess!" she shouted in response.
"What is it? Are you saying you don't want to be a princess?"
"No princess!" she repeated.
"Okay, sweetheart. Why don't we come over here and sit down and talk about this, alright?" Mia said gently, and then she led Gracie by the hand over to the loveseat where she, Gracie, and Clarisse all sat down together. After they were sitting down, Mia continued, "Gracie, I know that you and I have only known each other for a couple of months now, and I understand that it's too soon for us to talk about things like adoption and you becoming a princess."
"No princess!" she cried out again.
"It's alright, my love," Clarisse said kindly. "We all happen to think that you will make an outstanding little princess, but nobody is going to make you become the Princess of Genovia if that isn't what you want."
"That's right," Mia concurred.
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart," Mia said as she did exactly that with her index finger.
"Okay," she said quietly, and then she hopped down from the loveseat and started to walk out of Mia's office.
"Wait a minute, darling," Clarisse stopped her, and she turned around. "Come back over here and sit down with us again for a moment, would you, please?" Gracie then did exactly that. "Sweetheart, just out of curiosity, why don't you want to become a princess?"
"Because I can't do it right!"
"Why do you think that, sweetie?" Mia asked softly.
"Because I can't do anything right!"
"Who told you that you couldn't do anything right?" Mia asked, and then there was a long silence. "Gracie…did your mom say that to you?" After another long silence, Gracie finally nodded, and then Mia gave her a big, long hug and lovingly kissed the top of her red head while Clarisse fought off tears. "Gracie, I want you to listen to me, alright? Your mom was wrong. She was terribly, horribly wrong to say such mean things to you, and I want you to know that every mean thing she ever said to you was a lie. It's not true that you can't do anything right. You do so many things right. Why, do you know what happens around here when you walk into a room?" Mia asked her, and Gracie shook her head. "I'll tell you what happens," Mia continued. "When you walk into a room in our palace and everybody sees you, they get the biggest smiles on their faces. When you walk into a room, you light it up! Not everybody can do that, but you can."
"That's absolutely true," Clarisse agreed. "Only a true princess has that ability."
"No princess!" she cried out once again.
"It's okay, my darling," Clarisse told her. "Like Mia just said a second ago, no one here is going to force you to become a princess if it's not what you want. I was just letting you know that you do have the ability inside you to become a wonderful princess, should you ever change your mind."
"But the whole princess thing isn't important right now," Mia assured Gracie. "Right now, the important thing is for you to begin to understand that your mom was wrong about every mean thing she ever told you. I know that you're supposed to be able to trust your parents, Gracie, and I know you probably trusted your mom when she was alive, and so that makes it hard to believe that she was wrong, but she was. Sometimes, people aren't always blessed with the kind of parents they should have had. Sometimes, they get stuck with parents like your mom, who was mean and hurtful. And it's those kinds of parents who should never be listened to or taken seriously. But you can take Grandma Clarisse and me seriously. We love you so much, and we would never tell you a bunch of mean lies like your mom did. And I want you to know that Grandma Clarisse and I think that you are the sweetest, most beautiful, most wonderful little girl in the whole wide world."
"Absolutely, sweetheart. You are, quite simply, an amazing little girl, and we all love you so much. We just adore you."
Gracie was so overwhelmed in that moment that she threw herself into Mia's arms and began to cry. Mia kissed the top of her head then and hugged her tightly, and she couldn't help but cry with her. A few tears even came to Clarisse's eyes, although she very quickly wiped them away.
"I love you, Mia," the child told her in the smallest voice, and Mia cried even harder.
"I love you too, baby girl," she responded, and then she began to rock Gracie, and in that moment, Clarisse had to wipe even more tears from her eyes.
After another few minutes of loving on Gracie, the threesome met Joseph in the kitchen and they all had lunch together. They enjoyed their meal together as always, but then suddenly, when they were about halfway done eating, Mia had a horrendous coughing spell that lasted about the next minute or two. Joseph knew Mia was recovering from a cold so although it did concern him a little, it didn't really shake him up all that much. But Clarisse was a different story. Mia's battle with cancer over seven years ago had truly terrified her down to the bone, and that was putting it mildly. After having lost a son, the thought of the possibility of losing her only grandchild as well was petrifying, and from that point on, every time Mia so much as had a fever, it deeply frightened her. In the back of her mind, the terrifying possibility of Mia's cancer coming back was always there. A small part of her was always thinking about it. After Mia's long coughing spell finally ended, Clarisse practically yelled at her that she was going to go see Dr. Mackenzie about her cold as soon as she could, whether she wanted to or not. Mia knowingly smiled, able to see the worry and concern for her in her grandmother's eyes and face, and she grudgingly agreed to go and see him as soon as she was finished with her work for the day.
For the next couple of hours after lunch, Mia was stuck in meetings with foreign diplomats. When her second meeting with a French ambassador ended at about two-thirty, she said goodbye to him and went back into her office so that she could look over all her necessary notes and information, making sure she'd be ready for a session with Parliament that started at three o'clock. Shortly after she came back into her office though, she had another severe coughing spell.
"Your Majesty, are you alright?" Marjorie asked as Mia continued to cough. And even though she couldn't stop coughing in that moment, she nodded "yes." A few moments later, as the coughing spell continued, Marjorie went and got Mia a glass of water and handed it to her. Mia took a sip from it, but it didn't help, and Marjorie became increasingly worried. "Your Majesty, do you want me to get the doctor?" she asked, and Mia stubbornly shook her head "no."
Then in that next moment, it happened. The coughing spell finally ended, and after covering her mouth through it all, she took her hand away from her mouth…and she saw that she had actually been coughing up blood. In that instant, Mia's eyes suddenly grew wide with fear.
"What is it, Your Majesty?" Marjorie asked gently. "What's wrong?" Saying nothing, Mia simply responded by showing Marjorie the blood in her hand. "Oh, my Lord," she gasped. "I'll go get Dr. Mackenzie right away."
"That's okay, Marjorie," Mia said quietly as she took a tissue from her desk and wiped the blood from her hand. "I'll go into the bathroom and wash my hands, and then I'll go to Dr. Mackenzie's office myself. He doesn't need to come in here."
"As you wish, my dear. In the meantime, I'll inform Prime Minister Motaz that you won't be able to make this afternoon's Parliament session."
"Just tell him I'll be a little late," Mia told her, and then she walked out of her office and ran into Shades, who was standing guard right outside.
"Is everything alright, Your Majesty? I heard you coughing pretty badly just now," he told her.
"Actually, something's come up. I have to go the restroom for a moment, and then I'll be going to see Dr. Mackenzie. I'll be a little late for my session with Parliament today."
"Are you ill, Your Majesty?" he asked in a very concerned voice.
Mia really didn't want to tell people about what had just happened because she knew that the more people she told, the more likely her grandparents, particularly her grandmother, would also hear about it courtesy of the palace grapevine, which of course was as active as ever. But then again, as Mia thought it over, she realized that since she was suddenly going to see the doctor, it was pretty inevitable that word would get back to them very quickly regardless, and if they had to hear about it, it was probably better that they heard about it from Shades.
"Well, I just coughed up a little blood in there, so something's obviously wrong," she admitted, and even though Shades's facial expressions didn't show it very much, she could see it in his eyes how concerned he got when he heard her say that.
"I'll put the boys on standby in case we have to make a trip to the hospital."
"Now Shades, let's not jump the gun. Let's just hold our horses a minute and wait and see what Dr. Mackenzie has to say first before we do anything. It may not be all that serious, and I don't want to worry people unnecessarily."
As soon as Mia said that, Shades couldn't help but think to himself that she sounded so much like her grandmother when she'd been on the throne. Mia was clearly no longer the rather reckless young girl she'd been when she first came to live in the palace full-time eight years ago. She had grown and matured a very great deal, and had in fact fully grown into her role as Queen. He, in addition to several others, even Mia's own grandmother, had lost faith in her and had doubted whether or not she had the makings of a queen in the beginning when she'd made a few mistakes, but as he looked at the true Queen who was standing before him now, he really found himself regretting doubting her so much back then. Of course there'd been some immaturity to deal with in the beginning. She'd only been twenty-one years-old and fresh out of college, with very little life experience under her belt. Of course she hadn't been fully ready inside to become the Queen of Genovia the very moment she set foot inside the palace again, which was basically what the unfair Parliamentarians had forced on her. But despite their unfair antics and everybody's doubt, she had risen above it all and had defeated it, and had become a truly wonderful Queen of Genovia in her own right. And Shades had really grown to care about Mia and respect her over the years, which was why he was so worried now in the face of what she'd just told him. In the back of his mind, like Clarisse, he too was pretty frightened of the possibility of Mia's cancer making a comeback.
"Do you want me to inform your grandparents?"
"I'd appreciate that, yes. I think I'd prefer it if they heard about it from you rather than the palace grapevine."
"Of course, Your Majesty," he told her, and then he went upstairs to inform them of the situation and she went to the bathroom to wash what was left of the dried blood off her hands.
When Mia walked into Dr. Mackenzie's office a couple of minutes later, Clarisse and Joseph were already there waiting for her, as was Dr. Mackenzie.
"Mia, darling, Shades told us what happened," Clarisse said, and Mia could easily hear all the concern for her in her voice.
"Your Majesty, you say you're coughing up blood?" questioned Dr. Mackenzie.
"A little. I just had a bad coughing spell a couple of minutes ago and I coughed up a little blood."
"I see. And your grandparents tell me that you've been fighting off a nasty chest cold for about the past week or so. Is that correct?"
"Yes, it is."
"Why don't you have a seat up here on the exam table and I'll have a listen."
"Whatever you say, doctor," Mia agreed, and then she hopped up on the table and Dr. Mackenzie listened to her with his stethoscope for the next several moments.
When he was done listening to her with his stethoscope, Clarisse anxiously asked, "Doctor, this couldn't have anything to do with her previous cancer, could it? It couldn't have come back?"
Dr. Mackenzie shook his head and replied, "While I can't say for certain yet, Your Majesties, Joseph, I personally don't believe this has anything to do with cancer. Your Majesty, I'll need to send you to the hospital for some chest X-rays to be absolutely certain, but I believe your chest cold has progressed into a severe case of pneumonia. Like I said, we need to run further tests in order to make certain, though. I'll go speak to your Royal Head of Security and have him make the proper arrangements for his team to take you to the hospital."
"Do we have to do it now? Parliament's in session right now as we speak."
"Yes, young lady, we have to do it now. Right now," Clarisse insisted. "Pneumonia isn't something you mess around with, and you don't just mess around with your health either. You should have come to see Dr. Mackenzie a lot sooner."
"I just thought it was a simple cold and that I'd fight it off eventually."
"Don't you know it by now that when it comes to your health, we can't afford to take any chances?" Clarisse practically snapped at Mia, but not at all because she was angry with her. After her battle with cancer several years ago, Clarisse simply couldn't help but be super-vigilant when it came to her only grandchild's health, and it was pretty obvious to everyone how deeply it frightened her whenever something went wrong.
"Clarisse," Joseph said softly in an attempt to calm his wife down. No one understood better than he did how worried she was about Mia now, but he also didn't want her snapping at Mia either. That was really the last thing Mia needed.
Mia sighed then and responded, "I'm sorry I didn't come here sooner, Grandma. I've just been so busy with everything lately. I just didn't have the time."
"When it comes to your health, you have to make the time," Clarisse told her much more gently this time as she lovingly touched her shoulder.
"I know that being a queen is a terribly busy job, Your Majesty, but your grandmother's right. You do have to remember to make the time in the midst of it all to take care of you."
"That's right," Clarisse agreed.
"I'll go inform Shades of the situation," Dr. Mackenzie told them, and then he left the exam room, and Clarisse and Joseph waited with Mia until her team was ready to take her to the hospital.
It took very little time for the rest of the country of Genovia to hear about what had just happened with their Queen. Hardly any time passed at all before it was all over the Genovian news media that Queen Mia suddenly had to be taken to the hospital by her security team, although the royal press secretary had yet to make an official statement about it. Everyone decided that the palace would officially say nothing about the health of the Queen until they were one hundred percent certain what the problem was.
Mia had Marjorie call her mom and Lilly to tell them what was happening, and when Lilly found out what was going on, she in turn called Andrew and explained the situation to him, although he'd already heard about it himself on the news. After Lilly's call to Andrew, she got permission from her boss to leave the office for the day and go to the hospital since, obviously, this concerned the Queen and was a big story at the moment.
While Mia was being examined and X-rayed, Clarisse and Joseph were waiting alone together in a private waiting room, with Shades standing guard nearby. Shades's men had already secured the hospital and were doing an excellent job of keeping all the reporters and spectators at bay, so they had at least a little bit of privacy as they waited for the results of the chest X-rays.
"It's been a long time since I felt this frightened, Joseph," Clarisse admitted in a low, serious tone of voice.
"I know," he responded in the same tone.
"I haven't been this scared since Mia was first diagnosed with cancer all those years ago. Logically, in my mind, I know what Dr. Mackenzie said; that he doesn't believe this has anything to do with cancer; that he thinks it's pneumonia, and I know pneumonia can be cured. But in my heart, I can't stop thinking, 'What if Dr. Mackenzie's wrong? What if her cancer has come back after all?'"
"I know, darling. I know it's hard not to let your fears run away with you at a time like this, but try not to think the worst. She has been battling a cold recently, after all. It does make sense that it might have progressed into pneumonia. You know what doctors always say when it comes to colds; that you have to get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluids, and Mia never really took the time to do that."
"I kept telling her to slow down and take care of herself and get some rest."
"Yes, you did. We both did. But, our grandchild is a stubborn workaholic, like another young queen I knew once."
Clarisse fervently shook her head then and said, "Oh, no. She doesn't get that kind of stubbornness from me. She gets it from Rupert! He was a million times more stubborn than I ever was!"
"Oh, really? I always thought the two of you were neck and neck," Joseph teased.
"Joseph, be serious. This is no time for jokes."
"I'm sorry, dear."
"I've made so many mistakes over the years, Joseph," Clarisse admitted while fighting off tears. "But my biggest mistakes were not the ones I made as a queen; they were the ones I made as a grandma. Joseph, I never truly started being there for Mia until that cancer diagnosis. I realize it now that when I first came back into her life, I was a queen looking for a suitable princess to take her place one day and not a grandma reuniting with the grandchild she loved and missed. Mia grew up believing, and for good reason, that Philippe and I had never cared anything about her. The very first thing I should have done when I came back into Mia's life was to let her know how much I'd always cared about her and how much I had missed her all those years and how sorry I was that I hadn't been able to be there. Instead, I just tried to shove her title down her throat. I practically made it sound like I wanted her to just drop everything, pack her bags, move to Genovia and start ruling it the very next day. No wonder she took off running like she did. I not only reinforced it for her that I didn't care about her or about what her father's absence and my absence had done to her; I probably scared her to death. No wonder she didn't want to have anything to do with me in the beginning.
"And while things did improve between us over the following months and years, it wasn't until that cancer diagnosis that I finally began addressing the issues between us that I should have dealt with a very long time ago. I always knew; I always knew how she struggled with a low self-esteem and low self-confidence, but I did nothing to encourage her or to help her with that until she was diagnosed with cancer. I never really took the time to sit down with her, listen to her, and be there for her until that happened. Until then, I always kept such walls up around my heart. Maybe I needed those walls to protect my heart from all my other political enemies, but Mia was my granddaughter; not my enemy. That was so unfair to her. It really hurts to look back on all of that now and realize that I gave her very good reason to believe that I cared more about how well she performed as a royal and how well she lived up to my expectations than I cared about Mia, herself.
"And now, she's really sick again and we don't know if it's a recurrence of her cancer or not. Joseph, if her cancer has come back, I will simply die."
In that moment, Joseph lovingly wrapped his arm around Clarisse's shoulders and pulled her close to him and told her, "Clarisse, that is not going to happen. When it's found in the early stages, uterine cancer is one of the easiest kinds of cancer there is to cure, and Mia's was in the early stages when it was found. Her cancer has not come back, and it never will. I'm certain of it.
"As for everything else you said, yes, you are right. As a grandma, you did make some mistakes. Yes, it's true that because of the way Helen and Philippe chose to handle things, Mia grew up believing that you and Rupert and Philippe didn't care about her, and you should have corrected that misunderstanding right off the bat, and perhaps given her a chance to get to know you a little better before you sprung the full truth on her the way you did. You scared her quite a bit in the beginning. But you also have to look at what you were going through at the time. After all, your own child had died only a couple of months before. Many parents wouldn't even be able to function at all just two months after such a devastating loss, but you kept right on running Genovia and taking care of our country in the face of truly great pain. In the face of all that, you really were doing the best you could at the time, even though you made some mistakes. You don't have to be so hard on yourself.
"As for the other things you mentioned, yes, you are quite right that you kept your walls up around your heart too often in the past, even with your own granddaughter, and that that was another mistake. It shouldn't have taken a cancer diagnosis for you to start letting Mia in and start really taking the time to listen to her and be there for her and tell her how much you love her. But my dear, all of that was years ago. You've learned a lot since then. You're not the same constantly prim and proper queen that you were back then. Just as Mia has grown from a reckless and somewhat immature and irresponsible little girl into a mature, strong, hardworking queen, you too have grown from the perfectionist royal you used to be into a very warm, tenderhearted, loving grandma. You've both done a great deal of growing over the years. You've learned from your mistakes and you've made the changes in your relationship with your granddaughter that you needed to make, which is something many people never do. Many people lack the necessary maturity to learn and grow from their mistakes and make changes in their lives, but that's not true with you. You are a strong, mature, responsible, resilient, caring lady. A lady I'm proud to call my wife," Joseph said with tenderness, and then he leaned in and gave her a quick but loving kiss.
"Thank you, Joseph," Clarisse said quietly once the kiss ended.
Joseph then lovingly touched her chin, looked into her eyes, and told her, "And even though it's hard, try to stop worrying so much. Dr. Mackenzie feels certain that it's pneumonia and not cancer, and we have no reason to doubt him. He's a very fine doctor. He's taken very good care of our family for years."
"I know, and you're right. I'll try to stop worrying."
"Has there been any news yet?" Lilly's voice suddenly called, and Joseph turned and got up from his seat in that moment.
"No, Lilly. There hasn't been any word yet. They took her to get X-rayed," Joseph answered.
"How long has it been?" Andrew asked a moment later, walking into the waiting room right behind Lilly.
"Only a few minutes, Andrew," Clarisse replied. "We all only got here a short time ago. Why don't you and Lilly take a seat?"
"Thank you, Your Majesty," Andrew said and then he, Lilly, and Joseph sat down.
For about the next five minutes, they all waited together almost in total silence, until Dr. Mackenzie and a couple of his colleagues came into the room, both of whom were tall, handsome middle-aged men. Everybody stood up the moment they walked in, and the sight of the other two doctors in the room really made their hearts race, especially Clarisse's. Even though they were all trying to stay logical and not fear the worst, it was so hard not to, and the sight of the other doctors made them all more afraid that they were there because the problem was cancer after all and not pneumonia.
After Dr. Mackenzie shook hands with Joseph and gave a quick respectful bow to Queen Clarisse, he said to them, "These are my colleagues, Dr. Jamison and Dr. Martin, and just to be safe, they've taken a look at Her Majesty's chest X-rays along with me, and after seeing the X-rays, we are all completely certain that this has nothing to do with cancer." The instant he said that, Clarisse, Joseph, Lilly, and Andrew all let out a big sigh of relief. "I can now tell you with complete certainty that Her Majesty has developed a rather severe case of pneumonia. She'll need to be hospitalized for a little while, but with the proper treatment, she should be just fine."
Clarisse looked up then and said, "Thank You, Jesus."
"Hear, hear," Joseph agreed.
"I've admitted Her Majesty, and she should be getting settled into her room now. Your Majesty, Joseph, would you two like me to take you to your granddaughter now?"
"Yes, please," Clarisse responded. "That would be wonderful, doctor. Thank you."
"Don't mention it. It's right this way," he said, and then he and the doctors left and Clarisse and Joseph followed after them.
Once all the others were gone, Andrew heaved another big sigh of relief. "Well this has certainly been a scary afternoon, hasn't it?"
"You can say that again! As you may have noticed over the years, Andrew, I'm a pretty tough woman. I'm not your typical 'girly-girl.' I don't freak out all that easily, but when I heard that Mia coughed up blood today, I got scared to death. I've never been that big on religion or faith or anything like that, but ever since I left the office to come to the hospital, I've been silently begging Jesus to let everything be okay with Mia."
"Yeah, me too. I was petrified when I heard about Mia coughing up blood. I just knew it was something horrible, like lung cancer. If anything ever happened to Mia, Lilly, I…I don't know what I'd do," Andrew quietly admitted.
After a long silence and a little debating within herself, Lilly said, "You should tell her, Andrew."
"Tell her what?"
Lilly locked her eyes with Andrew's then and told him, "You should tell Mia the truth about how you really feel about her. I know that since the royal engagement all those years ago, you've really fallen in love with her, Andrew. I see it in your eyes every time you so much as mention her name. I've known it for years."
"Yes, but Mia's made it quite clear that she has no interest whatsoever in pursuing a romantic relationship, with me or with any man. She wants nothing to do with the whole idea of falling in love and getting married. She's told me I don't know how many times that she's married to her job; to her role as Queen."
Lilly let out a frustrated sigh in that moment and asked, "Andrew, do I really have to spell it all out for you?! When you love somebody, when you really love somebody, you can't just sit on the sidelines and do nothing and wait forever! Can't you see what it's doing to Mia, being married to her role, as you put it? It's because she's married to her role as Queen that she's starting to make herself sick. She gets so wrapped up in her work and her duties that when she gets sick, she doesn't take the time to stop and really take care of herself. That's why her cold progressed into pneumonia and she's in the hospital now. And if you just keep standing by on the sidelines, saying and doing nothing to show Mia your true feelings for her, you'll be dooming her to a long, lonely life. Maybe she is making plans to adopt Gracie and other children in the future, but that and her royal position are not enough. She needs companionship, true companionship; someone to watch out for her and share her daily burdens. She needs someone to love her and look out for her the way Joseph always loves and looks out for Queen Clarisse."
"That's different, Lilly. Queen Clarisse is just as much in love with Joseph as he is with her. I may be in love with Mia, but she doesn't feel the same way about me, and those kinds of feelings cannot be forced."
Again, Lilly let out a frustrated sigh and said, "You never tried, you idiot! You never really tried to romantically pursue Mia, not even when you were engaged to her. You put zero effort into cultivating a real romance with her back then, Andrew. Zero. You want to know why Nicholas Deverat succeeded in getting Mia to fall in love with him and you failed? Because he was daring. Because he showed passion. Because he let Mia know he wasn't afraid to express his feelings for her, even if that meant breaking the rules and going against what was considered proper for people of their position. He took risks. And above all else, he let Mia know that he was attracted to her. He put real effort into romancing her and making her feel special. How many dates did you take Mia on when you were engaged to her? None. How many times did you kiss her? None. How many times did you even try to light a real fire between the two of you? None. So how can you really be so surprised that when the moment comes when you finally do decide to kiss her, she doesn't feel any sparks?
"Maybe Mia doesn't have any romantic feelings for you right now, but if you actually put some effort into a true romance between the two of you, her feelings might change. The point is, you have to stop sitting around on the sidelines on your noble British butt and you have to take action. You have to tell Mia how you really feel, and then you have to start actively trying to win her heart. And I do believe you can do it. Mia does love you, Andrew. It may only be platonic love right now, but still, there's a lot of love there. I'm her best friend. Believe me; I know. It may take a lot of time and a lot of effort, but for both your sakes, you have to try. And besides, you know as well as I do that Mia's an extraordinary human being, and that she's worth it."
After a long moment, Andrew finally admitted, "You're right, Lilly. I guess in hindsight, I really didn't put as much effort into a romance between Mia and me as I should have back when we were engaged. It was just hard for me because for one thing, I was being forced into it by my parents, and for another, it's not always easy for me to express my deeper emotions. In my home, my parents and I didn't just walk up to each other and give each other hugs and say 'I love you' like Mia's mother obviously did with her. Mia wears her heart on her sleeve and she says what she thinks and how she feels. It comes naturally to her. It doesn't to me. I have to take time to really get to know a young lady before I feel comfortable giving her kisses and going out on dates with her and expressing my feelings for her and trying to romance her. I'm not the sort of fellow who can just suddenly kiss a young lady after only knowing her for a week. I have to take my time. And acting like Nicholas Devereaux…that just isn't my way, Lilly."
"So what is your way? Waiting around, doing nothing? Look, I'm not saying I want you to trade personalities with Nicholas Deverat. Nicholas Deverat was exactly that: a rat! Even worse, he ended up being a real snake, just like his uncle. But what I am saying is when it comes to winning a young woman's heart, you could actually learn a thing or two from him. He may be a creep, but I know this much about him: he would never wait as many years as you have to make a move. You can't wait forever, Andrew. You're a professor. Surely you know what carpe diem means, don't you?"
"Seize the day."
"Exactly. Surely after what happened to Mia today, you can appreciate that phrase. We could have found out that Mia's cancer had come back today, Andrew. Mia doesn't have forever, you know. None of us do. Time is precious, so for heaven's sake, quit wasting it," Lilly told him, and then she left him alone in the waiting room with his thoughts.
And while Andrew was alone in the waiting room, he got to thinking very seriously about everything Lilly had said, and even though he hadn't exactly enjoyed hearing it, deep down, he knew how right she was. He knew it was time, high time, for him to start growing beyond the ever-proper young duke he was raised to be, who always followed all the rules in high society and always did everything that was expected of him and never stepped out line or took risks the way Nicholas Deverat did. It was time for him to start growing into a man who would go out on a limb and dare to take a risk and put his heart out on the line for the sake of the woman he loved. And deep down he feared it because from past experience, he knew growing could be a scary and painful thing. But he also knew it had to be done nevertheless.