Ryuugazaki: Gang gang
Chapter Thirty-Six
(Wednesday, 18 November 2015 – 7:58am, Detroit, Michigan, USA)
It's Wednesday. Yuuri was at their desk, looking up at the ceiling. Despite being exhausted yesterday and sleeping, they were exhausted today, too. Yuuri got an iced coffee this morning, thinking that they would be lucky enough to be able to stay awake with it. Yuuri was journaling and drinking their coffee. "I should've gotten more sugar in this," Yuuri thought, "It's obvious that two sugars weren't enough." Yuuri looked down at their sketchbook; they decided that this was done writing for now. They're slowly learning how to be genuinus with their journal. They put their journal away and took out their sketchbook. "Should I start a new sketch?" They asked themselves. "I'll start a new sketch," they told themselves.
Well, at least they were going to until Victor came in. In a way, it was a good thing Victor came in. It would have saved Yuuri from having to come up with something to draw. "Yuuri!" Victor dashed into the room and stopped running when he got to Yuuri. He squatted at Yuuri's feet. "I've missed you." Yuuri smiled.
"I've missed you, too," Yuuri said. Victor sprung to his feet and bent down to kiss Yuuri. "We're in public."
"I don't see anyone else in the room." Victor smirked.
"Stop," Yuuri whined. "We are in a place of education." Victor rolled his eyes and took his seat. He had a dreamy look on his face. "You're giving me bedroom eyes again."
"My bedroom is exactly where I want you," Victor said.
"Stop," Yuuri whined again. "We're in public." Yuuri felt their face get warm and they were sure that they were blushing now. "And, before you say it, I know that it's just us in this room, but there will be other people in this room soon." Victor moved his desk closer to Yuuri's and reached out to stroke their face. His thumb stroked Yuuri's bottom lip tenderly. "We're not doing this right now."
"Fine. We'll do it on our date," Victor said with a smile. Yuuri started to chuckle. Then they started to look at their pants and mentally deconstruct all of the different flowers on them. "Hey, Yuuri." His voice sounded more serious.
"Yeah?"
"I've missed you a lot," Victor said. "I just wanted to say that."
"It was only a few days," Yuuri said. "Surely you couldn't have missed me too much."
"But I did." Victor grabbed Yuuri's hand and kissed their knuckles. "Can you at least let me know when you're going to leave? I'd like to see you before you go."
"If you saw me before I left to go anywhere, I'd never leave," Yuuri pointed out. They started to play with the spirals that bound their sketchbook. "I feel like you wouldn't let me leave once you got a hold of me." Victor smirked. "And, as much as I enjoy being your captive, I do have things that I must do."
"What exactly do you do?" Victor asked. "I'd like to join you in something one day." Yuuri stopped playing with the spirals of their sketchbook. "I want to be included in the things that are important to you." Yuuri felt their chest get tight.
"I highly doubt that you'd like anything I do."
"You don't know that." Yuuri was silent. "Can I watch you do digital art?" Yuuri cracked a smile and took a sip of their coffee.
"I don't feel like doing any digital art right now," Yuuri said. "But maybe you can watch me draw something in my sketchbook. I don't know. But I do know that it's going to be kind of boring."
"It won't be boring," Victor said, sure of himself. "Plus, I'd be with you, and there's never a dull moment with you." Yuuri put their sketchbook back in their bag and took out their binder. Then they took another sip of their iced coffee. They were going to soldier on despite the two sugars.
"Victor, can you fix your desk?" Victor looked down at their desk, bemused by what he could "fix" on it. "Like, just…" Yuuri got up and straightened Victor's desk. "There we go."
"Was that bothering you?" Victor asked.
"Yes." Victor smiled. The door opened, and three students came in. Victor bit his lip and stared at Yuuri. There was a glint in his eyes; he's planning something. "Victor, what are you doing?"
"Nothing yet." Yuuri looked at Victor. Victor reached into his pocket and took out two notes. He put them in the space between Yuuri's palm and their desk. Then he made the desk crooked again.
"Victor, wh–" Yuuri said. Victor smirked and reached out towards Yuuri. Victor's fingers made their way into Yuuri's hair. He took a lock of hair and wrapped it around his finger. Yuuri looked at Victor's nose. Victor unwrapped the hair from around his finger and did the same to another plug. "What are you doing?"
"What are you doing?" Victor rhetorically asked.
"I'm trying to figure out what you're doing." Victor took a plug of hair and started to brush it against Yuuri's face. Yuuri rolled their eyes. "What do you want?" Victor smirked.
"Let me watch you draw." Victor was still brushing Yuuri's hair against their face. Yuuri deadpanned.
"I said that you could, but I wasn't going to do it any time soon." Then it hit Yuuri. He wants to watch them do it soon. "But, I suppose," Yuuri started. Victor was grinning. "I suppose that I could make myself do some digital art." Victor removed his fingers from Yuuri's hair and smiled. He seemed satisfied. "What do you want me to draw? When do you want to watch me draw?"
"When I come back," Victor said. "And I don't know. What do you usually draw?"
"I draw what my heart wants," Yuuri responded.
"And what does your heart want?" Yuuri was silent. They know what they want now. They're just unable to tell him. "I'm never going to get an answer to that, am I?" Victor asked.
"Possibly not." Yuuri bit their lip. "I'm sorry," Yuuri said.
"It's fine." Victor smiled; his smile is infectious. That made Yuuri smile a bit, but it was bittersweet. They know what they want, but they didn't try to convey to Victor what it is that they want. "Also, read the notes. Right now." Yuuri picked the second note that Victor gave them. They opened it and looked.
"I don't love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz, or arrow of carnations that propagate fire." Victor nodded. "I love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul." Yuuri folded the note. They felt their heartbeat quicken as they read it. "I'm going to need you to explain why you said that you love me on Friday."
"Or I could explain it now."
"Do you have enough time to explain it now?" Yuuri asked.
"It's 8:20," Victor said. "Surely it won't take me ten minutes for me to explain why said it." Victor straightened his desk and leaned towards Yuuri. "I–" Victor was cut off when Professor Heiner came in. Victor looked at his desk and then at her. He seemed to freeze.
"Are you going to tell me now?" Yuuri asked.
"I think I'll wait until we're alone," Victor said. "After class, maybe?" Yuuri shrugged. "I'll tell you after class." Yuuri nodded and looked at Victor. He had a graceful smile on his face. Victor took out his phone and took a flick of Yuuri.
"Did you take a picture of me?"
"I might've," Victor said. Yuuri sucked their teeth. "What?"
"Delete that. I don't look good."
"You look great," Victor said. He went to the photo and showed it to Yuuri. "See?" Yuuri rolled their eyes. "But, then again, you always look great." Victor looked at them and smirked. This was going to be an extended, frustrating period if Victor is going to keep looking at them like that.
#
(Wednesday, 18 November 2015 – 11:30am, Detroit, Michigan, USA)
Class is over, and Yuuri was able to get through it despite their insides feeling like they're on fire. Yuuri was doodling in their art history notes about the art of the Renaissance and Reformation. They mainly drew the outline of Bramante's design of Saint Peter's Basilica and Grünewald making the Isenheim Altarpiece over their notes. On the other side of the page were the requirements for their midterm paper. They had to pick an artist that was a High Renaissance, Reformation, or Baroque artist and write a seven-page paper about their life and their art. Yuuri had no clue how they were going to write an essay about an artist they probably don't care about, but they're going to have to do it.
"Yuuri, did you get the due date?" They nodded and gave Victor their notes. "Where is it?"
"Top of the last page."
"And that page is?"
"The page with the Isenheim Altarpiece." Victor nodded and turned the page. "Can you read it?" Victor nodded again. He quickly wrote down the date and gave Yuuri their binder back. "Did you get everything else?"
"I did." Yuuri put their binder back in their bag and stood. Professor Heiner was still there. Victor was still packing.
"Mr. Katsuki," Professor Heiner said. Yuuri was taken aback by her. "Why did you not submit your assignment?"
"I was in Europe, and I lost track of time," Yuuri said. They weren't lying; they genuinely did lose track of time. You can easily lose time when you're forcing yourself to write, and you're busy trying to focus when you feel your heart in your throat. "Sorry."
"Take care that you don't do this again." Yuuri nodded. Professor Heiner left the room. Yuuri waited for Victor to finish packing before they held out their hand. Victor took it gladly, and they walked to the back of the library. Yuuri leaned on Victor and closed their eyes.
"How did your assignment turn out?" Victor asked, referring to the assignment Yuuri struggled to do in Bordeaux.
"I didn't do it." Victor nodded and leaned his head on Yuuri's. "And I have no clue what I'm going to do for the midterm paper." Victor was silent.
"Are you stuck in regard to artists?" Yuuri nodded. "Michelangelo." Yuuri opened their eyes. "I'll do da Vinci if you do Michelangelo."
"I feel like everyone is going to do either da Vinci or Michelangelo," Yuuri muttered. "I have to go the extra mile and outshine everyone." Victor made a "tsk tsk" sound.
"Well, seven pages is just the minimum. The maximum is ten. Surely you can outshine someone just by doing the minimum."
"Nope, I have to do the maximum," Yuuri said. Victor looked down at Yuuri. "So you'll do da Vinci if I do Michelangelo?"
"I will." Yuuri took out their phone and started to read about him. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to familiarize myself with Michelangelo. Then I'm going to carry on with my day as I think about it. Then I'll get to work."
"Is this the artistic process?" Victor asked.
"Just part of it. The artistic process can get a lot weirder." Yuuri stopped scrolling and looked at the Madonna and Child and Bacchus. "Yes, I can do this," Yuuri said to themselves. "Victor, get ready to familiarize yourself with da Vinci because I'm familiarizing myself with Michelangelo." Yuuri looked at Michelangelo's Risen Christ. "Look," Yuuri said to Victor, showing him the sculpture.
"It's nice," Victor remarked. There was a silence. "You don't have to do Michelangelo, you know."
"I know. But I already have ideas, so I'm going to." Yuuri closed their eyes and put their phone in their pocket. "Do you know a lot about da Vinci?"
"I only know the basics," Victor murmured. "I'm going to take this paper as an opportunity to deepen my relationship with him." Yuuri nodded. "We should get going." Yuuri nodded and buttoned their coat. Victor put on his hat and scarf and zipped up his coat. "Let's go!" He held out his hand for Yuuri and Yuuri took it. They left the campus hand in hand and walked to the corner.
"I've missed this," Yuuri muttered.
"Have you?"
"I have," Yuuri said. "It was so… different being in Bordeaux. I missed Detroit so much." Yuuri looked down at their feet. "I missed you a lot, too." Victor squeezed Yuuri's hand. "What was that for?"
"No reason," Victor said. "Was your roommate happy to see you?"
"Overjoyed." Yuuri looked ahead of themselves. "He wasn't alone, though. Khadijah was there with him."
"I mean, you two are roommates," Victor pointed out. "Khadijah might have been there, but that doesn't mean that he wasn't still missing you." Yuuri shrugged. They stopped at a light. "How are your other friends?"
"Adé, Masa, and Tal'at are fine." Victor nodded. "It was nice to see them."
"Who's Adé?"
"Camille. They said that we can call them Adé now." Victor nodded. "Adé was glad to see me."
"Does Adé like figure skating?" Yuuri nodded and smiled. They liked the way that Victor said Adé's name. "Question: If you and your friends like figure skating so much, why didn't you all go to the Bompard together? Why did you go alone?" The light changed.
"Masa's parents wouldn't let them go. Tal'at simply didn't want to go. Adé's partner wouldn't let –"
"Let?!" Victor stopped in his tracks, recoiling in shock. Yuuri nodded. "That's genuinely terrifying. Continue." Victor and Yuuri started to walk again.
"As I was saying, Adé's partner wouldn't let them go. Khoudia couldn't afford to go because she keeps missing her Friday class." Yuuri took a breath. "And I told Phichit that he couldn't go." Yuuri finished.
"You told your roommate that he couldn't go?" Yuuri nodded. "That's almost as bad as Adé's partner saying that they can't go to the Bompard."
"Let me just say that Phichit could have come, but he has midterms so I told him that he couldn't come." Victor nodded. "He would have if I didn't tell him that he couldn't."
"But then there's you," Victor said. "You don't like missing class. But you missed several days of classes to go to an event." Yuuri looked down at their Docs and focused on the toe cap. "That doesn't make any sense. You could've watched it at home." Yuuri stayed silent. "I'm not getting much of an answer about that, aren't I?"
"Not really," Yuuri said. "I can't explain my reasoning for the why very well, and I don't think you'd understand what I'm trying to convey."
"You need to give me more credit, Yura," Victor said. "I understand a lot of things." They stopped at another light. "I know I seem like an airhead, but I'm not. I can be very diligent when I want to be."
"I believe you," Yuuri said.
"Do you? Do you really?" Victor asked as they started to walk again.
"I do." Yuuri kicked a bottle cap. "I'm not always capable of conveying thoughts and emotions very well, but trust me when I say that I believe you."
"I've noticed that you seem to have difficulty when it comes to expressing things," Victor remarked. Yuuri kept their eyes on the toe caps. "And eye contact. And other things. It makes me wonder." Yuuri felt a lump form in their throat. "I wonder a lot of things about you."
Yuuri was going to regret asking this, but they went ahead anyway. "Like what?"
"Why are you the way that you are? Why is he so enigmatic? Why doesn't he look me in the eye? Will he start crying if I touch him? Is he capable of reciprocating intense emotions?" He bit his lip. "By the way, I have recently learned that you are capable of reciprocating them." Victor laughed. Yuuri felt their face warm despite the biting air.
"Where did you get the idea that I can't reciprocate feelings?" Yuuri asked.
"You seem out of touch with them," Victor said. "I had wondered if you are simply unable to feel them or if you choose not to feel them."
"It's a little bit of both with an overarching theme of having difficulty with identifying them," Yuuri spoke despite the lump in their throat. "I experience the sensations, and I am unable to accurately name them at the moment, so I ignore them until I'm able to unpack them and give them the attention they deserve."
"And you say that you're bad at explaining things," Victor said, tongue in cheek. They turned the corner. "That was a very succinct explanation."
"Just wait. I'm going to be an incomprehensible mess again." Yuuri chuckled. They tugged at his arm to get him to stop walking. "We're here." They stepped inside.
The tea house was calm, and the shades of juniper and pine went well with the ambient music they were playing. Victor was smiling wildly and fidgeting with his napkin. The napkins were carob brown, and the tea house had fake Easter lilies as centerpieces. A barista took Yuuri and Victor to where the seats were. Yuuri took a photo of the centerpiece and put their phone on the table. They sat.
"Do you have a favorite type of tea?"
"I usually like green teas, but I think I'll try an herbal tea today," Victor said. Yuuri nodded. "You?"
"Last time I came here, I had matcha, and it was underwhelming. I think I'll try something different today," Yuuri said. "I might have the Caribe tea."
"I think I'll get lavender," Victor said. "Do you like macarons?" Yuuri nodded. "Have you had the Earl Grey one?" Yuuri nodded. "Is it good?"
"It's one of my favorites," Yuuri said.
"What's your other favorite?"
"Rose."
"Are those good?"
"They're good. They just have a very overpowering scent. And taste. And color." Yuuri turned the page of their menu. "But they're good. I like them."
"I'm going to get a tiny cake," Victor said. "They look good." Victor zipped his hoodie down. Yuuri was staring at his shirt. It had shades of purple, blue, and red. Yuuri liked it. A lot. "Yes?"
"Your shirt," Yuuri said.
"I like it. What art movement is this?"
"Futurism. I think this is a Severini painting." Victor sounded uncertain. Yuuri nodded and kept looking. "Do you like it?"
"Never take it off." Yuuri bit their tongue after they said that. "I mean, take it off." They sharply inhaled. "But don't." They pushed themselves away from the table. "I like your shirt. I'm going to use the bathroom." Yuuri got up and went to hide in the bathroom. They wanted to give themselves space to breathe, and so they didn't say anything else to Victor. "He does have a nice shirt," Yuuri mused. "What was I even trying to say to him?" Yuuri asked themselves. "Maybe it's better if I just don't say anything."
Victor: I miss you already.
Victor: Come out.
: I just got in here.
Victor: Still. Come out.
: Fine. I'll come out.
Yuuri gave themselves two more minutes before they came out. They sat back down in silence. Victor was smiling. "You've returned to me." Yuuri nodded. "I'm glad."
"Did someone come out to take our order?" Victor shook his head. "Did you decide on what tiny cake you want?"
"Red velvet," Victor said. "I didn't know what the other two were." Yuuri nodded and kept their eyes downward. Victor smiled. "Yuuri," Victor said.
"Hm?"
"Look at me." Yuuri kept their eyes down. "Yuuri."
"Yes?"
"I said look at me." Victor reached out and held their hand. Yuuri took a deep breath and looked at Victor. They didn't look him square in the eyes, but they looked at their nose instead. They took a brief break to look Victor in the eyes. They were soft.
"Victor," Yuuri said.
"Yes?"
"You're giving me bedroom eyes again." Victor took a deep breath and smiled. "It gets weirder and weirder every time you do it," Yuuri pointed out.
"And you're not giving me bedroom eyes?" He asked. Yuuri squinted. They understood what Victor's question was asking but didn't understand the implications of it. Had Victor been interpreting how they look at him as "bedroom eyes"?
"Is that how you've been interpreting the way I look at you? As bedroom eyes?"
"Well," Victor said, "I would say 'dreamy eyes,' but…" He shifted in his seat. "What I call it doesn't matter. Just look at me." Yuuri was beyond confused. "You have such lovely eyes."
"Are you going to pluck them out?"
"Why would I do that?" Victor asked. Yuuri stayed silent. "Anyway, what was that thing you wanted to discuss with me?" The lump in Yuuri's throat started to hurt. They didn't expect that conversation to happen now.
"I forgot." Yuuri's voice was low. "But, before I forget," they said, reaching into their bag. "Thus Spoke Zarathustra." They put the book on the table, and Victor picked it up. "I hope you enjoy it as much as I did."
"I will. Thank you," Victor said. He put it in his bag. "Also, I'm sorry for Georgi being a reticent piss baby. I thought that he'd – I don't know – like to talk to someone. He's not usually like that."
"I actually ran into him on Sunday," Yuuri said.
"And? How'd that go?"
"He was still being… standoffish, I guess you could call it," Yuuri said. They looked at their hands. "Also, I don't think Georgi was reticent. He was very vocal in not wanting to speak to me." Victor shrugged. "But I did run into two of Phichit's friends." A barista came out with the tea and Victor's tiny cake. "They were happy to see me. Like, extremely happy to see me."
"Have you met them before?"
"No," Yuuri said. "I think they knew more about me than I knew about them. It's kind of scary." Yuuri touched the teapot to try to pour tea, and they winced.
"What happened?"
"The teapot is hot," Yuuri said. Victor laughed. "This is no laughing matter."
"It kind of is." Victor was grinning. "You didn't expect it to be hot?"
"I don't know what I expected," Yuuri said. "But yeah, it's kind of scary. I don't have any idea of what Phichit told them about me and I don't know how to act."
"Easy: Act like yourself," Victor suggested. Yuuri looked at Victor and blinked. "The you that you are is the best kind of you. Who wouldn't like that?"
"You're only saying that because you haven't seen me at my messiest." And this is true. While Victor has seen Yuuri while they were hallucinating, he hadn't seen him when they were depressed. Or manic. Or in the middle of a meltdown. Or engaging in a creative binge. He hasn't seen those sides of Yuuri at all. Which is why it's baffling that Victor said that he loves him. Yuuri sighed and finally poured their tea into the cup. Victor had already done that; right now, he was eating his tiny cake.
"Give me a chance, and I can get accustomed with your messiest."
"That might not be a good idea."
"Why not?" Yuuri was silent. "I'm not going to get an answer, aren't I?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Have more faith in me. I can be perceptive." Yuuri stayed silent. "Do you want a bite of my cake?" Yuuri shrugged. Victor offered them a forkful and Yuuri ate. "And you're sure you don't remember what you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Not a clue," Yuuri said, biting their lip. They felt bad for lying to him, but they didn't know what they were going to say. "Is there something you want to talk about?" Yuuri took a sip of their tea.
"Yes, actually," Victor said. Yuuri nodded and took another sip of tea. "I don't want to freak you out, but what are we?" Yuuri stopped sipping and looked down at their cup. They put it down gently and kept their gaze down. "I freaked you out, didn't I?" Victor asked.
"No. I'm not freaked out," Yuuri said. They reached into their bookbag and took out their sketchbook. "Hold on." Yuuri woke up their phone and went to the notes app. They had the perfect poem for this: Soneto 64 by Pablo Neruda. Yuuri wrote the sonnet on the blank page of the sketchbook and wrote "I want you" at the bottom of the sonnet. They tore it out, folded it, and passed it to Victor. Yuuri put their sketchbook back in their bookbag and resumed drinking their tea. "You should probably read that now." Victor did as Yuuri asked and opened the note. They read the note carefully, rereading the line Yuuri wrote. "I usually approach situations like this with more art and half-assed finesse to make it more tolerable for me, but this is all I have right now. Plus, you like Neruda and I've been coming to appreciate him." Yuuri took another sip of tea.
"Do we have to go to the bookstore today?"
"Not really. Why?"
"I'm going to take you home and give you all the love bites." Yuuri's face felt hot.
"Stop, Victor, we're in public," Yuuri's voice was a whine. "There is a family right next to us." Victor looked over at the family – a mother, grandmother, and the preadolescent offspring. They were trying not to gawk, but the grandmother was staring at them, disapproving.
"They'll be fine." Yuuri laughed. "Nothing they can't get used to." Yuuri laughed and took a sip of tea.
"What about you?" Yuuri asked.
"Isn't it obvious?" Victor asked. Yuuri took a sip of tea. They looked over at Victor's teacup; they barely touched it. Then Victor took a large sip of tea. Yuuri stayed silent.
"Can you explain why you said 'I love you'?" Yuuri asked. They poured themselves another cup of tea.
"It felt right," Victor said. "I didn't know when I could exactly tell you, so I went for it right there." Victor took a sip of his tea. "I don't regret it, though. I love you." Victor smiled and held Yuuri's hand. Yuuri was silent. "Did I freak you out again?"
"No," Yuuri said. There was a pause. "It's November."
"I know."
"No, Victor, it's November," Yuuri said.
"I'm afraid the meaning of what you're trying to convey is lost on me," Victor said and took another large sip of tea. "What are you trying to say?"
"Isn't it too soon to be at it with the declarations of love?" Victor shrugged. "I've only known you for about two months."
Victor shrugged again. "I don't know. I felt certain of it, so I went for it." He finally took a bite of his Earl Gray macaron. "Is it wrong?"
"No, no, it's not wrong." Yuuri looked down at their tea. "I don't know. I guess I'm just not used to it." They took a deep breath. "You make it hard to breathe sometimes."
"Do I?" Yuuri nodded. "I'm glad that I take your breath away." Victor poured himself another cup of tea. "You make my headspace wild."
"I'm glad that that's all me." Victor smirked.
"I want you to take me home, b–"
"Victor, there is a literal family right next to us." Yuuri glanced over at the family, focusing on the grandmother and her penetrating gaze. The mother seemed to ignore it, but the child seemed to be in a state of amazement. "Just don't." Yuuri picked up their phone and sent Victor a text.
: I am trying to save us from the ranting of an old person
: Chill.
Victor took their phone out of their pocket and looked at it.
Victor: Must I chill?
: That would be nice.
"Fine. Because you asked," Victor said. "Hold on." Victor took a flick of Yuuri as they took a sip of tea. "My baby." They smiled. Yuuri put down their teacup and covered their face. "Are you okay?"
"Aah!" Yuuri said into their hands. They removed their hands from their face and smiled.
"I love your smile," Victor said. "I hope it never fades." Yuuri smiled harder. Victor took a sip of tea and took another flick of Yuuri. "Absolute perfection." Yuuri smiled harder as they took another sip of tea. They interlaced their fingers again, all smiley and giggly, and Yuuri took a picture of their hands. This date, in Yuuri's mind, is going extremely well.
#
(Wednesday, 18 November 2015 – 4:32pm, Detroit, Michigan, USA)
Phichit was nose deep in his textbooks when Yuuri came home. "You're late," he said, not looking up at the door.
"I know." Yuuri took off their coat and shoes. They put their hat and scarf in the sleeve of their coat and sat down next to Phichit. They hoped that their hoodie would mask the love bites on their neck. Victor wasn't playing when they talked about giving him a bunch of love bites. "I'm sorry. How's studying going?"
"It's so boring," Phichit said. "I don't understand anything I'm reading. Or I don't care about what I'm reading." Yuuri snickered. "I'm going to fail."
"No you won't," Yuuri said. "I'll help you study."
"If you help me study, nothing is going to get done." Phichit looked up from his textbook. "Plus, you need to study, too," Phichit said. "Why are you still in your clothes? Go change." Yuuri stayed in their spot. "Yuuri, go change." Yuuri gave in and went to change into their pastel yellow pajamas. They prayed that the collar would cover their love bites. They came back into the living room with their laptop and started to read about Michelangelo. So far, they had an idea to start a painting, but they would have to paint while laying horizontally. Then, in true Michelangelo fashion, they would have to sculpt a biblical figure; however, Yuuri wasn't familiar with the Bible, so they considered the possibility of sculpting Hokusai or Utamaro. Then they would have to write poetry about handsome men and how their bodies are works of art. It was a lot to do within a week, but Yuuri could do it if they drank enough Red Bull.
"I can do this," Yuuri said to themselves.
"Do what?"
"The art history midterm paper."
"Oh yeah, I haven't even thought about that," Phichit said. "Did you figure out who you're going to write about?"
"Michelangelo." Phichit looked up from his textbook. He was stunned to hear that Yuuri has an idea and that they're doing someone who isn't Yuuri's style. "Do you know who you're going to write about?"
"Either Rembrandt or Caravaggio." Phichit returned to his textbook. "I'm presuming that when you said 'I can do this' that you were thinking about how you're going to immerse yourself in Michelangelo's essence." Yuuri nodded. "What ideas do you have?"
"Okay, so, first I would paint horizontally," Yuuri said. Phichit nodded. "Then I would sculpt Hokusai or Utamaro." Yuuri opened a Word document. "Then I would write poetry about good-looking men." Phichit cackled. "What? What's so funny?"
"We both know the handsome man you'll be writing about." Yuuri rolled their eyes. "Speaking of handsome men… Yuuri, lapinou," he said.
"Yes, mon canard?" Yuuri replied, not taking their eyes off of the screen.
"What's on your neck?" Phichit asked. He moved closer to examine Yuuri's neck. "Take off your shirt." Yuuri complied and took off their shirt. Phichit was taken aback. "Explain. Now."
"Victor… he really missed me." Yuuri yawned and looked at their pajama shirt. "A lot. I thought he was joking when he said that he was going to do that, but he wasn't." Yuuri and Phichit remained silent.
Then Phichit opened his mouth. "I'm going to shave your head."
"I figured that," Yuuri said. They stretched.
"Sleep with one eye open."
"Will do," Yuuri said. They didn't have plans to sleep tonight anyway. They wanted to start working on a painting. "I'm going to go shower." Phichit nodded and looked at Yuuri as they got up. Yuuri could use that shower right now.
#
(Wednesday, 18 November 2015 – 5:25pm, Detroit, Michigan, USA)
Yuuri started their essay after their shower. Phichit had stopped paying attention to his books and was looking at Yuuri. "Okay, explain," Phichit said. Yuuri was typing away at the introductory paragraph as they read Pietà. "Yuuri!"
"What?"
"Explain," Phichit repeated. He was fishing for information. "How did this happen? I need details!"
"Okay, so you know how we had another date, right?"
"That was today?" Phichit asked. He didn't wait for a response; instead, he said, "Doesn't sound right, but continue."
"We went to the tea house after art history, and we had tea," Yuuri said. Phichit nodded. "We talked, got stares from this old woman who wasn't comfortable with our presence, and we talked." Phichit nodded again. "Victor asked if it was necessary for us to go to the bookstore and I told him that we didn't have to because I had already given him my copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra. So he said that he wants to take me back to his place. After we finished having tea, we went back to his place."
"What prompted him to ask if it was necessary to go to the bookstore?" Phichit asked.
"Earlier in the day he asked me what my heart wanted, and I told him that I wanted him. He was so overcome with his desire for me that he decided to forego the second part of our date because he wanted to mess around."
"And you…" Phichit steepled his hands and looked at them. "You two messed around."
"It was less of messing around and more of, well, this and that," Yuuri said. Phichit was silent.
"Are you going to continue seeing him?"
"I am," Yuuri said. They took a deep breath and put their head in their hands. "His existence seeps into everything I do, and I need him."
"I know," Phichit said. "I approve. Just make sure that you don't sabotage it somehow." Yuuri nodded. "I'm being serious. You tend to retreat into yourself when overwhelmed. I'm used to it, but Victor isn't. He might interpret that as you being uninterested in him."
"I told him that he wouldn't like me when I'm messy, but he said that he could take it," Yuuri said and shrugged. "I doubt it, though. It's too much for even me to deal with."
"He's going to be exposed to the things you've been trying to keep from him eventually." Phichit leaned on the arm of the chair and put his feet on Yuuri's lap. "Speaking of exposure, have you told him yet?"
"About what?" Phichit flicked Yuuri's cheek. "Ah!"
"Your skating career, you numpty," Phichit said. Yuuri shook their head. "Why?" He whined. "If Khoudia finds out she's going to lecture you. Meaning that she's also going to lecture me. And I don't want to be lectured. Not again."
"I still haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him," Yuuri said.
"Yuuri, this advice is going to be easier said than done, but I'm going to need you to keep an open mind here."
"Okay."
"Fucking tell him," Phichit said. Yuuri looked at Phichit; his mouth was pressed in a line. "You can't keep avoiding this."
"I know," Yuuri said, moving Phichit's feet out of their lap and placing their laptop over Phichit's feet. "How's studying going?" Yuuri asked. They want to stop this conversation as soon as possible.
"Well, I have no clue what moles are, and I don't understand the formula for it at all," Phichit said. "And I don't care about American history at all."
"And your religions course?"
"I have radically accepted that I'm going to fail." Yuuri rolled their eyes. "I'm not even going to bother studying for that anymore." Yuuri tut-tutted and Phichit looked over his paper. He's three pages in.
"You don't need to study for American History," Yuuri said. "Just listen to the Hamilton soundtrack." Phichit laughed furiously. "Aren't you still on the American Revolution?"
"And the Articles of Confederation and the Constitution," Phichit added.
"Just listen to the Hamilton soundtrack," Yuuri said.
"And what do I do about my chemistry class?"
"Khan Academy."
"And religion?"
"The Great Courses Plus, iTunes U, and Simple Wikipedia," Yuuri said. They didn't even blink at what they said. They just continued to write their essay. "You can use my Great Courses Plus account." Yuuri stopped typing. "Also, you can use The Great Courses to learn about the Founding Fathers. I highly doubt your exam will have questions directly relating to the relationship between Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens, but it might help to know about it."
"Yuuri, you are a lifesaver!" Phichit removed his feet from Yuuri's lap and threw his arms around Yuuri's neck. He kissed their face all over and clung to them. "Thank you, baby!" Yuuri placed their laptop on the free space on the sofa and wrapped their arm around Phichit's waist.
"It's no problem," Yuuri said. Phichit pulled himself off of Yuuri and partially sat on Yuuri's lap. "I'd get to work on studying, though. Like, right now."
"I love you so much."
"I love you, too, lapinou," Yuuri said. Phichit slunk out of Yuuri's lap and went to get his laptop. Yuuri reached for their laptop and resumed writing. "Phichit, do I have a blank canvas in the closet?" Yuuri shouted.
"Yeah, why?"
"I need to paint," Yuuri replied. Phichit came back to the living room, laptop in hand, to look at Yuuri. "It's for the art history midterm."
"It's for art history. We don't draw in that class."
"I know, but I need to paint."
"Is this part of immersing yourself into Michelangelo's essence?" Yuuri nodded. "Yuuri, you don't need to paint to write a midterm paper about Michelangelo." Phichit bit his lip. "Wait, didn't you mention needing to sculpt, too?!" Yuuri nodded again. "You are not sculpting in this house."
"Even if I sculpt Hokusai?"
"Even if," Phichit said. He walked over and placed his laptop on the sofa. "Plus, you don't know how to sculpt, and the marble wouldn't fit through the door."
"But I can learn how to sculpt," Yuuri said. Phichit looked at Yuuri, deadpan.
"You're not going to learn how to sculpt." Phichit sat down and opened his laptop. "And you're not going to bring a hunk of marble in this house." Yuuri shrugged. "How were you going to paint?" Phichit asked.
"I was going to suspend the canvas from the ceiling–"
"Nope!" Phichit said. "You're not doing that either. Not in my house. Paint normally or not at all." Yuuri looked at Phichit and sucked their teeth. "And Yuuri, when I say 'paint normally,' I mean 'paint normally.' So no drugs and no preparation ritual."
"The 'no drugs' part I'm okay with, but no preparation ritual? How am I supposed to do that?" Yuuri has an elaborate preparation ritual for when he would commence a painting. The last time they painted, they let Phichit join in on the ritual. He was not a fan of it.
"I don't know. Figure it out," Phichit said.
"Phichit, it's kind of important for me to engage in my ritual before I paint," Yuuri said as they put their laptop on the coffee table. "It sets the mood–"
"For the painting and for myself, I know. I get it," Phichit said.
"So you'll let me do my ritual then?" Yuuri asked. Phichit shook his head. Yuuri looked back at their essay and saved it. "Figures."
#
(Wednesday, 18 November 2015 – 11:44pm, Detroit, Michigan, USA)
"Yuuri," Phichit said as he climbed in bed next to them. Yuuri scooched over and threw the comfort over their bodies. "Do you want to go to Supernova on Saturday?"
"We promised Khoudia that we'd go, didn't we?" Yuuri asked. Yuuri yawned and wiped their eyes. Phichit nodded. "So we'll go." Phichit propped himself up and looked at Yuuri. He paid special attention to Yuuri's neck. "What?"
"I can't believe that this is happening," Phichit said. Yuuri yawned and wiped their eyes again. "You have a boyfriend, and you're serious about it." Yuuri remained silent. "You're not even going to fight me when I call Victor your boyfriend now, aren't you?" Yuuri shook their head.
"I don't know what exactly we are, but I guess we're something," Yuuri said. They rolled on their side to face Phichit. "I had asked him what he wanted, and he said 'Isn't it obvious?' I don't understand what he meant by that." Yuuri yawned. "But I know that he wants something."
"He wants you, silly," Phichit said. He laid down and cuddled up to Yuuri. "He's your boyfriend. Get used to it." Yuuri shrugged.
"I guess he's my boyfriend now." Phichit nodded. "Imagine if we interpreted all of this all wrong and Victor's like 'I just wanted a friendship. I'm not gay.'"
"Well, technically speaking, you're not exactly gay either," Phichit pointed out. Yuuri is a raging demi-pansexual. "But I don't think we're interpreting any of this wrong. He's been pretty hot for you since you've met. You don't relentlessly pursue someone your sex for two months and not be at least some shade of gay. And he asked you on two dates. And you're calling them dates. Plus, there's all of this penetration going around, and people don't usually penetrate their friends." Phichit closed his eyes. "I think we're right about this."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," Phichit said, yawning like a kitten. "My Yuuri has a boyfriend."
"I do. I think."
"You do." Phichit yawned again. "Yuuri has a boyfriend," he sweetly babbled. "We should all go out to dinner one day. I want to get acquainted with him."
"I haven't even gone on my third date with him, and you want to sit down and eat with him," Yuuri commented. "You move fast."
"You two move fast." Yuuri rolled their eyes and closed them. "Are you going to sleep now?" Yuuri nodded. "Okay, I'll try to be quiet and keep my phone dim." Phichit kissed Yuuri's nose. "Sleep well, ma poupée," he said.
Ryuugazaki: Gang gang