"I'm donating Grimmauld Place to the Order," Sirius announced when Remus walked through the door a couple weeks later, filthy and exhausted after spending the afternoon replacing the broken floorboards on Millicent's back porch. Sirius was lounging on the couch, flipping through some of Remus's old Defense Against the Dark Arts textbooks. "Arthur Weasley helped me get inside today. It's dusty and disgusting and full of Dark magic, but it's also extremely private. Unplottable, even. It'll be safe if we can clean it out."
"That's great." Remus tossed his bag on the ground and flopped down on the couch next to Sirius. He wondered if that meant Sirius was moving out. He felt a stab of loneliness at the thought, but a bit of relief as well. He'd started getting used to having Sirius in the house again, but he was exhausted from avoiding Sirius's dark, relentless gaze and tiptoeing around all the things they'd left unsaid.
They never spoke about Sirius's nightmares, but Remus spent most nights laying next to him on the transfigured bed in the living room, Sirius clad in a pair of Remus's old pajamas. They carefully avoided any more touching than was necessary between them, except for one extremely tense morning when Remus woke with Sirius's head nestled on his chest. He'd quickly disentangled himself and left the room before Sirius could say or do anything about it.
It would have been easier and more comfortable to sleep together in the Remus's bedroom, but that was a barrier that Remus was not ready to break.
"That's not all," Sirius was saying now. "My parents' house elf, Kreacher, was at the house. I haven't seen him since we were in school. He's even nastier now that he's been alone for so long."
"Jesus," said Remus, shaking his head. "That's a long time for anyone to be alone. Did you ask him about Regulus?"
Sirius smiled. "Sixteen-odd years since Regulus died, and, and that's still the first thing you think of, Moony," he said, gazing at Remus affectionately. Remus flushed. "I did ask about Regulus and my father, but Kreacher wouldn't tell me a goddamn thing. All I could get out of him was that he does know what happened to Regulus and promised not to tell, and that my father suspected the truth about him—something about letting the Dark Lord down. 'Two disappointing sons too many for Master,' was all Kreacher said."
"So Regulus did turn, at the end?"
"Maybe. But it could have been from cowardice just as well as from bravery."
Remus shrugged. "It could have been both."
"Maybe. Listen, Remus," Sirius said hesitantly. "I don't want to be too forward—"
"When have you ever worried about that?" Remus said with a snort, but he glanced nervously at Sirius; the intensity of his gaze was as unnerving as ever.
A smile flitted across Sirius's thin face. "All right, then. Here it is: Grimmauld Place is big and empty and I hate it there. What do you think about moving in with me?"
Remus's eyes flew up to Sirius's. Sirius had asked him that once before in another lifetime. I was thinking...what if you lived with me?
All right, that other Remus had answered. I love you, and I'll live with you.
"I have a house," he said instead.
Sirius quirked an eyebrow at him. "I don't want to be rude, Moony, but your house, er, isn't exactly—"
Remus glared at him. "It's a dump, I know, but that didn't bother you when you had nowhere else to go."
"True," conceded Sirius. "But, look. Grimmauld Place might be extremely dangerous and bursting with Dark Magic, but at least the heat works and there's no rotting floorboards, at least not as far as I could see." He paused and teased Remus with a rare smile. "Come on, Moony. We've lived together before and it worked out pretty well, if I remember correctly."
"That was different," Remus said shortly, and Sirius's smile faltered.
"I know," he said seriously. "Trust me, I know that things are different. All I bloody think about is all the ways that things are different. But I don't want to be alone. Do you?"
Remus shook his head and glanced around the cottage again. It was a dump, and he was unhappy here, but he had so many questions and so many misgivings, even more than he'd had when they were seventeen. Living with Sirius couldn't be a good idea, and yet, he, too, was tired of being alone.
"All right," he said, and the grin reappeared on Sirius's face. I love you, and I'll live with you. "All right, Sirius," Remus repeated. His stomach lurched, and he wasn't sure if it was from from excitement or dread. "I'll move to Grimmauld Place. I'll live with you."