Disclaimer: Still don't own it or profit from this.

Chapter 36: Spoken and Unspoken

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

—Lao Tzu

Gemma and Dwalin went to the throne chamber, but Thorin wasn't there. Gemma felt the anxiety in her chest, like her heart had been tied in a knot and somebody was pulling it tighter and tighter. They searched the treasure chamber next, and then the hallways in the area, but he was nowhere to be found. Finally, they came to the large hall where the dwarves had battled Smaug. The glare of the golden floor lit up the room, and Thorin, standing in the centre, cast long, distorted reflections across it. Gemma shooed Dwalin, telling him that she would call for him is he was needed. She had to do this on her own. The dwarf looked like he wanted to argue, but he held his tongue and left the room.

As Gemma approached Thorin, she saw that he was clutching his head and muttering to himself, while pacing wildly back and forth. It was something she often did when she was having an anxiety attack, and it made her walk a bit faster. Even after everything that had happened between them, she was still worried about him. Of course she was. It didn't matter what he did, she would always care about him. She knew that now. Thorin tossed his head about, looking up at the ceiling and sinking to his knees as if he was being pulled into the floor. But it was only when she finally caught a glimpse of his eyes that she knew something was truly wrong.

She rushed forward and called his name. "Thorin!" He looked up and seemed to recognize her, but only slightly, as if his mind couldn't quite register her presence. His brow furrowed and his eyes flashed, but when he struggled to his feet, he swayed and his eyes went glassy. "Thorin!" she shouted again, rushing forward to grab his arm. He sank to the ground again, pulling her with him. His head whipped around wildly, his eyes unseeing. He was in some other reality, unaware of what was real and what was not. How could this gold sickness push him to the point of hallucination? If he didn't wake up, Gemma feared his mind would deteriorate completely, just as his grandfather's had.

"Thorin, please," she pleaded with him desperately, clinging to his arm as he thrashed. "Please come back to me. I need you, I do, more than anything else. I can't go on like this. Please," she sobbed, nearing hysterics herself.

When Bard had kissed her, it had simply felt wrong. Because it wasn't Thorin. Because she couldn't imagine kissing anyone except the man in front of her ever again. When she had realised this, everything she had been feeling in these past months in Middle Earth finally made sense. She had understood why she had come back for him, time and time again. Why she would always come back for him, no matter what.

"Please Thorin. I love you."

Thorin clawed at the floor frantically as it dragged him down, down, down. I am not my grandfather, he heard himself whisper. It seemed to echo around the room.

A sickness lies upon that treasure, Balin's voice echoed next. One which drove his grandfather mad.

Take back your homeland, Gandalf's voice urged.

You are changed, Thorin, Bilbo's voice insisted.

I will not part with a single coin, his own voice again, nearly unrecognizable.

They are dying out there, Dwalin's voice told him once more, mixing in with the others as he fell down further and further, away from Gemma, who stood at the top of this golden sinkhole.

You're not my king! Gemma's voice, loud in his head, shouted just as she had in the Mirkwood prisons. And then, I stayed for you!

You don't want a war, she insisted, like she had mere days ago. Somewhere in your sick head you've still got a shred of sympathy.

I will not be a part of your madness, I will not condone it. The words she had spoken before she left the mountain. Before he'd ordered her locked up.

And then the sound of her laughter reached his ears, from their night together in Lake-town.

Her voice became even clearer. "Thorin, please," it said, and he could almost believe she was right there beside him. "Please come back to me. I need you, I do, more than anything else. I can't go on like this. Please," she sounded tearful and shaky, but her voice was clearer and stronger than the seemed to pull him towards her.

"Please, Thorin," he heard her say again, and now all those other voices in his head were barely audible.

"I love you."

And just like that, Thorin was painfully jarred back into reality. He was lying on the floor, and Gemma really was there, clutching him against her tightly and sobbing. He blinked a few times, just to make sure that she was real, but his mind felt blissfully empty of golden whispers and temptations.

"Gemma…" he croaked.

She pulled back, and he could see her tear stained face right above him. She choked a bit, and held him to her again, even harder. "Thorin I… oh," she cried, and then she pulled him up to meet her lips. It was a sloppy, salty kiss, full of tears and sorrow and relief. He responded in kind.

"Oh my beautiful Gemma," Thorin whispered to her when they parted, his forehead resting against hers. "What have I done?"

"Is it really you again?" she whispered back. "No gold sickness, just Thorin Oakenshield? The man I… the man I love?"

Thorin felt those words in his core. He nodded and clutched her as tightly as she had held him. "The man completely undeserving of your love." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then said, "Say it again."

"I love you, Thorin Oakenshield," Gemma told him with the utmost conviction.

"I don't understand how you can. After all that I have done to you. Gemma, I am so sorry. There is not enough time in this life to spend making it up to you for all the things I have said and done."

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm still completely and horribly angry with you. And when this is all over, let me tell you, there will be words. But right now," Gemma smiled softly, "I'm just glad you're back again. How…"

"I knew the moment you went back to your world, you know. And I was devastated that I would never get to tell you. And then, by some miracle, you came back to me. And the thought never even crossed my mind to tell you. I was already too far gone in the sickness. I didn't realise until you said those words just how far I had truly fallen." He kissed her again, softly. "Because I love you too, Gemma. You are worth more than all the gold in this kingdom, and I was a fool not to know it. But I do now, and I can only hope that you can forgive me, though I shall never forgive myself."

Gemma smiled brilliantly, and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I already have." Then she smirked, that smirk that he loved. "Well, mostly. Probably. I do need to keep something to hold over your head."

He chuckled, and she joined in, their quiet laughter echoing around the vast hall. Then he grabbed the crown off his head and threw it across the floor. They watched it bounce and roll until it stopped, falling over with a clang. Gemma tore her eyes away from it and looked at him again.

"Thorin, in this interest of not keeping any secrets from you, I should probably tell you..." she trailed off, fidgeting with the end of his beard, still sitting in his lap. "Well, first, that Bard kissed me."

"I'll kill the bastard," Thorin growled. He wasn't entirely sure that he was lying, either.

Gemma swatted his arm. "Don't you worry; he wasn't nearly as good as you." Thorin smirked smugly, until she said, "Not enough beard." He wrinkled his forehead in mock indignation. "Anyway, that's not important." Thorin wanted to protest that, yes, actually, it was rather important to him, but she continued. "But while he... did that, that's when I realized that I loved you, truly loved you. I've never really loved anyone before, romantically speaking. And also, well, I swiped this from his coat pocket." She reached into her own blood soaked coat and pulled out...

The Arkenstone.

Thorin reached for it instinctively, but quickly retracted his hand when he realised what he was doing. "Why did you bring that cursed thing here?" It was the cause of his sickness, and after just waking up from it and realising all the horrible things he had done while sick, he was suddenly terrified that he would slip back into it just as quickly as he'd come out. "I cannot have it here."

"Even though it's the king's jewel? Even though it's a relic of your people?"

Thorin grimaced. It was difficult to say what needed to be said, because he could physically feel the pull of the gemstone, drawing him in, tempting him. "No… I need it gone. Please, Gemma… get rid of it."

"Alright. Good. I was hoping you would say that. Didn't think it would ever happen. I'll have Balin lock it in a vault or something."

Thorin knew that if the Arkenstone stayed within Erebor, its presence would always hang over him. The temptation would always be there, and he would spend the rest of his days teetering on the edge, never knowing when he might lose his grip on sanity once more. "No," he told her, "get rid of it. Destroy it." It was difficult to say, but he wanted to be well. He could never put her through that again.

"Are you sure?" Gemma asked one more time. Thorin nodded. Gemma looked at him for a long moment, and then took out her gun. Thorin watched with a sick feeling in his stomach as she readied it, and then, in one fluid motion, threw the Arkenstone up into the air and fired a shot at it. The stone shattered in the air into tiny little fragments, which fell down upon them like glittering snow.

Though some part of him felt pain at the irreplaceable stone's loss, Thorin was overcome with relief. He grabbed Gemma's cheeks and pulled her in for a long, slow kiss. Gemma's soft lips responded automatically, and, after a moment, parted to allow Thorin's tongue to slip past. Gemma let out low moan into their kiss, which rumbled in her chest in a way that drove Thorin insane. He growled in response against her lips, and slowly pushed her down until she was lying on the golden floor with him on top of her. Their kiss deepened, but Thorin pulled back when he felt Gemma tense underneath him. He caught her wince and frowned worriedly.

"What is it, my love?"

Gemma smiled gingerly. "Nothing. I just… your leg is pressing into a rather nasty cut on mine." Thorin looked to see a long slash in her pants, through which he could see an awful, but thankfully shallow, cut. He sprang back and looked her over, noting for the first time the wounds on her arms and the slashes on her face. "Don't start worrying. It's to be expected, since there's a war going on outside." She struggled to her feet, and helped him up. "Which is a very good reason why we shouldn't be doing this right now."

Thorin sighed through his nose. "I suppose you're right." Gemma chuckled, and leaned down to give him a quick peck on the cheek. Thorin laughed too, but then became more serious. "If we go out there, there is a very good chance that we will die."

Gemma put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at him. "I know where this is going and the answer is no way. I'm not staying here and that's final. Besides, I've already been out there, and I've managed to stay alive so far."

When Gemma and Thorin emerged from the grand hall, and walked to the entrance hall where the others waited, the dwarves didn't notice them right away. All of them were pacing, or sitting dejectedly, or fidgeting with something. Kili spotted the two of them first, and leapt to his feet, angrily stalking towards them. "I will not hide behind a wall of stone while others fight our battles for us! It is not in my blood, Thorin."

"No, it is not." Thorin agreed, surprising Kili and the other dwarves, who had doubtlessly been expecting anger. "We are sons of Durin. And Durin's Folk do not flee from a fight."

Kili smiled brilliantly, and it made Gemma a little bit sad that he was so happy to be heading off to war. But it also made her a bit proud; proud that Kili was so driven to help the people outside, though he could stay perfectly safe within the mountain.

Thorin squeezed her hand, and then looked around the room. "I have no right to ask this of any of you... but will you follow me, one last time?"

The dwarves nodded solemnly in answer. Dwalin caught Gemma's eye, and bowed his head to her. Gemma smiled back at him softly to let him know that she understood. She'd seen the tears in the burly dwarf's eyes, and she knew how much this meant to all of them.

The moment broke, and the dwarves bustled around to collect anything that they might need, which wasn't much since they were already dressed for war.

Thorin pulled Gemma off to the side a little ways, and clasped both her hands in his. "I know this might be a bit soon, after all the horrible things that I've just done, and I understand if you can't accept it, but I did not want to wait, seeing as we may very well die today. I have something for you," he said in a rush. All of the sudden, he seemed quite nervous. Gemma cocked her head at him, a bit confused.

"Thorin, our whole relationship has been on the fast track. We slept together only a day after we acknowledged the fact that we actually liked each other. I just told you I loved you after only knowing you for… what, a few months? I'm pretty sure the regular rules of dating don't apply to us," she laughed. When he said nothing, she said, "Well, go on then, what is it?" He was acting odd, which Gemma was now quite wary of.

Thorin pulled something from his pocket, and opened his hand to reveal a beautiful ring: a majestic red gem on a tiny but ornate filigree band. Gemma sucked in a breath. "In my world," she said slowly and quietly, "there's a special meaning when a man gives the woman he loves a ring."

Thorin nodded. "I know."

"You do?" she asked, now thoroughly confused.

"You told me. Well, actually I overheard you telling Kili, a while back."

Gemma could feel her face heating up. "And… is that what you want? Is that what you're… asking me now?"

Thorin smirked. "If you like."

Anyone else would have found his answer extremely unromantic. Gemma thought it was perfect. He didn't need to get down on one knee. And considering the fact that they were about to walk into battle, and likely to their deaths, he didn't need to say the word marriage. They probably wouldn't live long enough anyway. This was better. This was them.

Gemma nodded her head, but said nothing. Thorin slipped the ring onto her finger, and kissed it. Gemma brushed her fingers over it, smiled and kissed him. It was quick and sweet, but it held enough meaning that it left them both breathless. "If we don't stop, I'm going to forget that very good reason why we shouldn't have sex right now," Gemma told him with a smirk. "You'd better not die out there, because I intend to finish what we've started once this is all over."

Thorin grinned right back. "Well, that is good motivation indeed, love. I was considering it, but you've convinced me not to die."

The other dwarves were all ready to head out. Gemma took the ring off and zipped it into her coat pocket, for safe keeping. She looked to Thorin and then to the barricaded gate. She tilted her head towards it. "Any ideas?"

Thorin thought for a moment, looked up, and then grinned at her. "One," he told her, with that twinkle in his eyes that she had missed, "and I believe you will enjoy it. You always were one for dramatic entrances."

AN:

Soooo… yup, that really happened. You're welcome,

I recognize that today is not, in fact, Tuesday, when I told many of you I would update. But I don't like to update without the next chapter being complete, and there is a very difficult scene at the end of next chapter that was giving me problems. Still, I think this fluffzilla chapter makes up for it, don't you?

To be honest, I'm a bit worried about this chapter. It's quiet mushy and clichéd, particularly the part where Gemma saying I love you is what wakes Thorin up from the gold sickness. That seemed a bit too Hollywood for what has become a surprisingly deep story, as far as fanfiction goes. I was worried that this chapter would clash with the feel of the rest of the story, and I very nearly rewrote it. But then I said to myself screw it, Gemma and Thorin deserve this, and so do I.

For those of you that were expecting more yelling, well, to be honest, as fun as those scenes are, they are difficult to write because they are so dialogue-heavy, and I think Gemma is all screamed out. And to those of you who think this came a bit fast… guys, this story is on the home stretch. It was supposed to have only 40 chapters. I think it'll end up going a couple over that, because of some last minute plot additions, but still, we're almost done! There's not a lot left, and there's no time to squeeze in a longer resolution to that whole problem. That being said, some of the fallout will still be addressed.

Which brings me to my next and final point. The sequel. Do you want one? I've got an idea in mind, but I can't really share it without ruining the ending to this story. Basically, it would be an extension or expansion of the epilogue. It might even replace it. I can tell you now it would be a little more lighthearted and a little less plot-heavy. I might even take requests. So, thoughts? Let me know.

Thanks for all your amazing reviews last chapter, as always. You guys really make me smile. I hope my story can do the same for you.