A/N: Here's your weekly dose of Sera! Enjoy :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Disney, ABC or the Avengers.
A soft beeping woke me up, and I sighed. I knew they set me up in the cell with medical equipment, which was to be expected. I felt the handcuffs, knowing I was handcuffed to the bed and didn't try to strain. I just laid there, looking up at the ceiling, and immersing myself in the pain.
"You're awake," A voice said from outside the glass.
"You didn't let me out. It's understandable," I said as I guessed who it was.
"They put me in charge of your recovery. Dr. Simmons wasn't feeling objective about it."
"Well, it's to be expected Jean." I sighed. Jean Grey was still just as beautiful as I remembered with her red hair much shorter than last time.
"They don't accept what they don't understand. Logan, Scott and Professor Xavier are up there with them, trying to explain how you've been helping us."
"What they want to do is keep me in a cage for the rest of my life, and I don't blame them. Cage the monster, solve the problem."
"I've never gotten why you call yourself a monster." She chuckled.
"Siren, my codename. You know the myth right?"
"Part human, part bird, part mermaid. Lured sailors to theirs deaths with their song." She said, coming into the cell.
"I sung and wove an intricate web of lies to write the wrongs I was born with. I became the thing I feared, because I was trying so hard not to. I pushed people away, lied, killed in the name of justice. I didn't have to be part of Hydra to do their dirty work. Even at SHIELD, they were there, shaping me to be their killer. Only I didn't realize it until Steve brought the Helicarriers down in DC. I will never be rid of the stain I was born with. I was born with blood on my hands because of the family my mother was born into."
"I tried to wipe it off, tried so hard to clean myself of it, only to make it worse. I single handedly ruined my marriage, my relationships, and the trust I had. I can't blame this lie on Fury. I did this to myself."
"I don't believe that," She said, taking a look under my bandages. I winced at her prodding, but chose to keep quiet.
"Surgery to repair your small intestine went well. I'm sorry to say that arrow took out one of your ovaries. I could not salvage it. And..." She said quietly. My heart ached and I asked her though my mind, "Lost?"
Her nod was quick, almost non-existent, but she read my mind for a bucket quickly enough. Whatever had been in my stomach came spilling from my mouth, and I coughed.
"Don't tell them," I asked, and then said, "I need a minute alone."
"Of course sister," she said, patting my hand. As she left the cell, and the door closed, the tears welled up and spilled over.
"I deserved this, you didn't deserve this," I chanted over and over again as I cried. Thrashing and wailing, I screamed in agony. After ten minutes, I felt myself calming down.
"I'm a monster." I spoke softly, seeing there was no point in crying over it. I deserved worse.
"Monsters don't cry over their missing ovaries. They don't cry over the fact that trying for children will be that much harder."
"Please, leave me here to die." I whimpered to my Dad, as I saw him through the window.
"Not a chance," he cried.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't know how," I sobbed.
"I don't care. You could have been Red Skull himself, and I would still love you. You are my daughter, my flesh and blood. The only child I will ever have apparently." He cried silently as I kept sobbing.
"You and Pepper were trying?" I said, choking back my sobs.
"It's not meant to be," He said, pointing to himself.
"I'm sorry Dad."
"Stop saying you are sorry. Do you know how many times I lied to you?"
"312 times since I've known you." I chuckled, "Not counting the 12 you told when I was undercover at Stark Industries."
"Wow, you've been counting? Wait, no, that's not the point. The point is, despite what the Popsicle twins think of you, I'm going to choose to love you, despite what you lied about. I wanted to kill Barton when Dr. Grey broke the news. Natasha did get him pretty good though. Broke his jaw. Even if they all think you are Hyrda, you chose to lock yourself up here, knowing it was an act of trust."
"It wasn't that." I said, tears leaking out again.
"Then why lock yourself in here?"
"This way, I can give them everything. I can tell the whole truth and they can decide what to do with me afterwards. Running would have been stupid and made me look guilty. And while they are never going to let me see my children again, I didn't want to leave them. So while my idea was thought out, it was also selfish. They may tell me to leave. And if they ask me to, I'll go. I won't give them anymore reason to hate me."
"They don't hate you. They are hurt," I heard Nat's voice.
"Please, leave me here to die. It's what I deserve." I said, closing my eyes and feeling the last of my tears leak out.
"Not a chance сестра," She said, as I turned my face away from the glass.
"Please, unless you want answers, leave me be." I sighed, turning slightly so I wouldn't aggravate my wound and they got the message.
"We love you Sera, don't forget that."
"Always and forever," Nat said, tapping on the glass. It was a code we had come up with that let the other know that we were working on an escape plan.
"No Nat. Not this time." I sighed. Her huff I took as annoyance but her words made my heart melt, "I knew you were telling the truth."
It was quiet, as I heard their footsteps fading, hushed words exchanged about my recovery. It was unearthly quiet for the next ten minutes. Sighing, I heard the door open again. This time, instead of Jean's voice I heard Steve's.
"You had every opportunity to tell me."
"No, I didn't Steve. No matter when I told you, you would have had the same reaction you always have to anything Hydra. This was personal, for me. This had nothing to do with you. Now, like I told Nat and my Dad, unless you want information, leave me here to die," I said, keeping myself turned from his view.
"Professor Xavier explained how you came to him for help. You didn't trust SHIELD psychologists to help you out."
"I didn't trust anyone." I sighed, thinking back to my first SHIELD years.
"He saw you in between when Bucky and you were in Russia, and the time you helped me acclimate to the world I woke up to. I don't think that was a coincidence."
"Call it what you want Steve. If you want something specific, ask me."
"Do you even love me, or Bucky? Do you love those children we created?" He asked, temper rising. My sob answered his question, as I said, "I always will love both of you and our children. My love for you was never a lie."
"How do I know you are telling the truth?"
"I had years to kill either one of you but I didn't. Steve, what possible reason could I have for stringing you along? For giving Bucky his memories back? For sneaking off to a secret SHIELD base, when I could have snuck off for an abortion? Those children never leave Avenger or SHIELD custody. They haven't even been to visit my Dad at Stark Tower. They have been everywhere that Hydra doesn't know about for a reason. I want to keep them out of Hydra's hands. Had my mother not run away with me, I would be one of their puppets. They would have had to brainwash me into it. You and Bucky would have never met me, those beautiful children would have never been born, and I would be a mindless zombie. I did all this, lied to everyone I care about, to not only protect you and Bucky, but to protect my children." I screamed, still not looking at him.
"Captain Rogers," Jean said sternly entering the room and coming to my side.
"Deep breaths, you've pulled your stitches."
"Leave them. I deserve a scar anyways," I whispered. She wouldn't listen, and went to redo them, and I moved away.
"Maybe if I'm lucky," I said softly. I'll bleed out, and my pain will be over, I thought to myself.
"Don't you dare think like that Sera! Sera, you are stronger than the darkness. Look at me," Jean yelled, pulling my shoulder until I looked into her eyes. Steve was watching, that much I could see in my peripheral vision.
"Snap out of it," She said, fury in her eyes.
"I deserve this," I said, no emotion in my voice.
"You're better than this little sister. You have a whole team of people who love you, and I'm not talking about this dysfunctional one," She said, forcing me to stay in one spot as she redid my stitches. I blankly stared at the ceiling, caring less and less that Steve was watching.
"My name is Seraphina Kalashnikov, Agent Nash, Seraphina Annalise Stark, Agent Stark, Seraphina Rogers-Barnes, the Siren. Born April 18th, 1989. Mother, Annalise Freya Kalashnikov, granddaughter of Johann Schmidt. Father, Anthony Howard Stark, son of Howard Stark. Underground pit fighter in college to pay bills. Mother was a nurse who died of late detected lung cancer. Agent of SHIELD from 2007 to 2014. Avenger from 2012 to present. Wife to Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Mother to Elijah Howard Stark Rogers-Barnes and Calliope Arya Stark Rogers-Barnes."
"We know all of that," Steve said, sitting down.
"Best not to interrogate her after what she just found out." I heard Logan say.
"I just want to know if the woman I love is still in there," He said as I sank further into the bed.
"Cap, you are going to want to listen," Logan said, gruffly. I took a deep breath and continued.
"I have known since the night my mother died that I was related to Johann Schmidt, the Red Skull, who mysteriously disappeared during a fight with Steve Rogers aka Captain America on the Valkiyre, bound for the U.S with missiles for major cities. I knew that he was the head of Hydra at that time and that if they found out who I was, they would find me. So I kept it to myself, knowing that anyone who found out wouldn't look at me for who I was, but for who my great grandfather was."
"I only told Director Fury because I was beginning to trust him. I wanted him to trust me too, so I told him what I knew. He in turn promised not to tell a soul, except for my supervising officer, Agent Phil Coulson. Phil didn't judge me like I thought he would, but took me under his wing much like one of my professors did. He felt like a father to me in the time between my mother's passing and finding out I was a Stark."
"I kept the secret because I was afraid of what my father would think of me. I tried to tell him, but then I was sent by Fury to Russia to take out the Winter Soldier. After falling in love with him, I pulled myself off the case. The next month I was sent out to help retrieve a 0-8-4, object of unknown origin. It turned out to be a helmet that was wanted by Magneto, known name of Erik Lehnsherr. The group of mutants known as X-Men, arrived and helped us fight against Magneto and his group of mutants. They retrieved the helmet, and fell back. Professor Xavier invited me to tea the next day."
"He helped me work past the demons in my head, the ones telling me that I was a monster for being born. He offered me sanctuary at his school for mutants, and I took the few months to myself. March 2012, I was asked back after a team retrieved Captain Rogers body from the Valkyrie wreckage in the Arctic. Once we discovered that he was indeed alive, it was only a matter of time before he woke up. We put on the theatrics for him so as to ease him gently into this new world. I was his guide and psychiatrist while he acclimated to this new world."
"You told me you were a friend." Steve said, as everyone outside the cell shushed him. I hadn't even realized they were there when I started
"I was. I wasn't reporting anything back to SHIELD. I wanted to be up front with you, but as a psychiatrist, I knew that asking you to relive those memories that pained you so much, with knowledge of my ancestors would cause you to mistrust me. It wasn't until before New York that I started accepting that I had feelings of more than friendship for you. I had for over a month, but I couldn't say anything."
"After my relationship with Captain Rogers started, I found more things that irked me about SHIELD. Director Fury was too secretive, as I was the first to learn that Phil had been brought back from the dead with an experimental drug and memory replacing."
"Then my father's house was attacked and he was presumed dead, which was kept from me. It only cemented those feelings of distrust for the system. Upon discovering we were cousins, Brock Rumlow and I grew close. I won over Rumlow to my side, but chose not to tell anyone except Fury about my discovery. Rumlow was willing to give up intel on them as long as we cleared his name afterwards. So even after SHIELD fell and Hydra was exposed, I kept the circle small. Planning to bring them out of the shadows in a big way, with Rumlow hiding as a sheep in wolves clothing."
"The plan was for a rebuilt prison on Three Mile Island to be the trap. Hydra had no reason to fear Rumlow, and we got the drop on them. Once in the facility, they would be surrounded by the U.S military, the Avengers, SHIELD, and the CIA."
"We needed extra help, so I enlisted Professor Xavier and the X-Men's help. I was going to contact Rumlow the other day before we had our break in. Scott Lang is Ant-Man. Dr. Hank Pym designed the suit and tech during the Cold War. He lost his wife and left SHIELD and Howard Stark's gaze two years before I was born. He was one of my professors at MIT. I went to help because if anyone got their hands on this shrinking tech, it could even the playing field for our enemies."
"I took Mitchell Carson into custody during the fight, as he had openly confessed to being Hydra. I tortured him and manipulated information out of him regarding remaining Hydra heads. The only remaining heads were himself and Gideon Malcik, Advisor to the President's staff. They want the Monolith that was on the Iliad. It is a portal between worlds. Specifically the world where the first Inhuman was sent over 1000 years ago."
"He was feared, so those that feared him sent him to Maveth, the planet beyond our solar system. There he was sent a sacrifice each decade, in hopes that one would return him to our planet. They mean to serve this Inhuman as their God, and he will rule the earth. So far, they have been unsuccessful in returning people. 1000 years of people following this notion boiled down to one society, who called themselves Hydra."
"Even though we destroyed it, there were smaller pieces of the rock cut from it, and placed in the von Strucker family vaults across the globe. I know this seems unbelievable, but it's the truth." I sighed, looking over to Steve.
"You still lied Sera." Steve said, his angry captain face on.
"Yeah, well it doesn't matter anymore. Even if I told you earlier, all my worst fears came true today. I lost your trust, rightfully so."
"You know how I've been about people that lie to me." He said, looking at Fury.
"Yet you still trust them, because the lies were meant to keep you and others safe. Phil was brought back to life and Fury knew that if we didn't let the camaraderie sit for a few months, the Avengers wouldn't come back together when we needed them. He didn't tell you about his suspicions about Hydra right away because we had no way to flush them out. You would have dove in head first without all the information. We know you Steve, we know all of you, and how you react. I did this to have every possible angle to our advantage."
"You said you were doing it for the kids."
"Not long ago, when they had just been born, I was worried a fire fight was going to come to our door and I could do nothing to protect them. This, putting Hydra away for good, this is what's going to protect them. Steve there is something bigger than all of us coming. It can't be a coincidence that two of the Infinity Stones Thor spoke of, came into play within the last 3 years. Plus the Ether that Jane had in her was considered an Infinity Stone before it became a shifting matter."
""A house divided against itself cannot stand." That is what we will be if we don't have faith in one another. We need to be a united front against this enemy. It's not the time to be choosing sides, or picking fights with the government. Hydra and anyone else that threatens our world needs to be put down."
"You were going to kill Carson, weren't you?" He asked.
"No, because I had a feeling that I should keep him alive. He will stand trial and I will be the prosecutor. It's only fitting that the granddaughter of the man he had killed, put him in Death Row."
"What else are you hiding from us?" He said, the group listening in intently.
"I do use cinnamon in my pancakes." I said, as Sam yelled, "I knew it!"
The tension seemed to have lifted with the light confession. Steve leaned back and watched me pensively. I just stared up at the ceiling again, knowing it would be a long time before anyone trusted me again.
"Now, I've given you all the information you need. Please leave me be." I said, turning to face the wall again
"Let her out," Bucky said, coming into the cell.
"Buck," Steve started.
"Steve, there's a 50% chance she won't be able to have children again. What Hydra operative cries over something so important? She told you everything. She could have stayed quiet, she could have run and never looked back. I trust her because she gave me my memories back. What kind of sick twisted Hydra agent would do that?" He said, unlocking the handcuffs. I didn't fight him, as he lifted me from the bed.
"Let me die," I whimpered as he carried me up the stairs to our room.
"Not a chance in hell of that ангел." He said, kissing my forehead gently. Opening the door to our room, he gently set me on our bed.
"Rest. I'll bring up Dr. Grey in a few hours. And maybe a bowl of ice cream," he said, smiling gently.
"I'm not hungry," I said, turning on my side. He paused, checking my forehead for a fever.
"Is it just a reaction to the anesthesia?" He asked.
"I'm not hungry." I repeated, closing my eyes.