Chapter 36: A Good Man
The following week was one of the slowest of Lizzy's life. Mostly deprived of the company of her sister as a result of the tender reconciliation witnessed on the front porch, the unfortunate outcome was that Elizabeth's main companion became her fragmented and unsettled thoughts. She had no patience for her workday and yet, found little peace during her quiet nights at home as well. The truth was that she was restless; insatiably searching for the answers to questions that she wasn't sure she really wanted to resolve. How had it gone so wrong? Did she owe him an apology? Who was Will really? And of course, Why does it matter now? were all queries that returned the moment she tried to invalidate their relevance. Darcy's letter weighed heavily on her spirit, impressing on her heart the need to find closure, forcing her wearied mind to once again review the confident words of its author. A painful truth had slowly begun to reveal itself amidst the shambles of their broken acquaintance: although he definitely had his faults – he really was a little too self-assured, he was frequently reserved and formal in a way that drove her a little bit crazy, and some of his decisions were aggravatingly misguided - with every reading, deep down, Will Darcy was proving more and more to be a genuinely good man.
It was not the conclusion that Lizzy had expected to draw; thoughts of missed opportunities and unfounded accusations only made the recently discovered truth all the more bitter. What made matters worse was that every time she tried to escape her downward spiral of painful reflection, the constant reminder of Darcy through the renewed presence of his best friend made her regret all the more forceful and agonizing.
It was no surprise to Lizzy that, when Game Night arrived the following week, the dazzling ring that Charlie had revealed in a robin's egg blue box was already proudly displayed on Jane's slender finger. From the moment she had witnessed their tearful reunion on the front step of her apartment, she knew that it wouldn't be long before the loving, glowing and perpetually happy Jane returned. It had been months since Lizzy had last seen her, and she had missed her dearly; no matter what her own actions might have been had it been herself in the situation, Lizzy knew that the world was only right with Charlie and Jane together. It was natural; something that simply had to be.
Mrs. Bennet's raptures on the engagement were another matter entirely.
The unopened Scattergories box sat listlessly on the table as Fran alternated between cooing and fanning herself over Jane's ring, squealing with delight as she wagged her eldest child's hands up and down in vigorous congratulations. The only thing that could distract her was when her future son-in-law would find the courage to venture near the manic flurry surrounding his fiancé - a movement Fran would interpret as another invitation to smash Charlie to her bosom in a grandiose gesture of family welcome. Charlie, not wanting to maintain a position so near to Fran's well-displayed assets for long, would quickly scramble out of the strangling embrace to reclaim his safe perch on the opposite couch, allowing Mrs. Bennet to return her attention to the dazzling sparkler on her daughter's left hand and re-start the whole ridiculous cycle over again.
In fact, the Bennet Matriarch had already looked up the number to Kleinfeld Bridal twice over the course of the evening, announcing loudly that, "everyone needed to be quiet because she was about to call the most exclusive Bridal Salon in the world." Both times Lizzy had calmly reminded her mother that they were probably not answering their phone at 9pm on a Sunday night. Not to be deterred in her pursuit of couture bridal fashion, Fran informed her daughter that, "Of course they're closed Lizzy. I didn't ask you to get in the car now, did I? I just wanted to call them and make an appointment for when they're open!" Biting her tongue in response, Lizzy then listened to her mother leave the longest voicemail she was sure Kleinfeld had ever received, inclusive of her sister's measurements, bra size, hair color, education level and birth date. Lizzy could only roll her eyes at the ludicrosity of it all and be grateful that Jane's social security number had somehow managed to stay out of the message.
Mr. Bennet, after extending a final hearty handshake to Charlie and a gentle kiss to Jane, gave a longing and resigned look towards the unopened game box before quietly exiting the room in defeat. Kitty's eyes gleamed in wondrous awe of a diamond the size of which none of them had ever seen before, oblivious to the absurd dynamic surrounding her. Although it was zany, Lizzy had to admit: after a week spent wandering lost in thought, it was nice to finally feel at home.
After dinner, while Mrs. Bennet insisted on showing Charlie Jane's baby album amidst the protests of all the others - including Charlie himself - the sisters finally had some time to spend alone together. The preferred subject of conversation was obvious.
"Jane, you have to tell me again how he asked you!" Kitty exclaimed the moment they found themselves alone in Jane's old room.
"I already told you the story, Kitty. If you want to hear it again maybe you should ask Lizzy for her perspective. She did witness the entire thing. In fact, you could almost say she caused it to happen by forgetting to pretend I wasn't there!" She threw an attempted disapproving glare at her sister that failed when it settled into a broad smile.
"Kitty, it was the most saccharinely sweet thing I've ever witnessed, but who could expect anything less from those two? Charlie was the perfect romantic. Now, what I want to hear more about is this trip!"
As part of his efforts to repair his relationship with Jane and mend his mistakes, Charlie had scheduled a 3 week vacation to Europe in order to finally introduce her to his family and have some time alone together. He seemed to be running on the principle of 'better late than never', and Jane was more than happy to go along with it.
"Well, we'll be getting to England on February 6, the day before Lizzy is set to come back." She gave her sister a sad face and continued, "After spending a week in England, we will be travelling through France to Spain, and then end our journey in Italy."
"Oh my god. That is so romantic, Jane," Kitty stated dreamily. "I wish I could travel Europe like that."
"Don't you plan to one day? With Nick? I could have sworn…"
"Nick? Where have you been? Jane, Nick and I broke up over a month ago. I'm all about George now."
"George? Who's George?" Lizzy asked.
Kitty turned bright red around her ears as she continued. "George Walker. I met him in the mall last week. He came over to me and told me that he 'couldn't take his eyes off my beauty'. He's a bit older and has a sexy accent too – he's from Australia!"
The multiple alarm bells ringing simultaneously in Lizzy's head were almost too much to manage.
Jane must have been thinking similarly, because just as Lizzy blurted incredulously, "Have you slept with him already?" Jane concernedly asked, "How much older are we talking, Kitty?"
Kitty made a face. "Not that it's any of your business but, no. I haven't. And he's twenty…er…one."
"Kitty." Jane admonished.
"Alright. Twenty-six. But who's counting? He's hot and he's totally into me."
"Kitty," Jane sighed, "twenty-six is entirely too old for you. Have mom and dad met him?"
"No, not yet. But they told me to invite him to dinner sometime next week."
Lizzy raised an eyebrow at her sister. "Do they know how old he is?"
"Uh…well…"
"I can't believe this. You have to end it with him Kitty!"
"I do not! He's amazing. Trust me Lizzy, you just have to meet him. He's really funny and nice. He hasn't pushed me to do anything I didn't want to with him. I think he's a good guy."
"Alright then. Tomorrow. I want to meet him tomorrow."
"Uh, that's not going to work. He actually went home for a week. How about when you get back from England?"
"That's three weeks from now."
"Lizzy, I don't have a wand that can magically make him appear from Australia."
Lizzy breathed a sigh of frustration. "Fine. But you only see him in group settings until I get back. And if mom and dad don't approve of him at dinner that's it. You don't sneak around behind their backs with him. I don't know many twenty-six-year-olds who would go after a seventeen-year-old with purely good intentions." An odd and inexplicable thought suddenly struck Lizzy. "Do you have a picture of him?"
"Not yet. I asked him for one but he forgot to send it before he left. Trust me, he is so fine. And Jane, you definitely know what you're doing. Accents are totally sexy. I love it when he says 'G'Day' to me." She giggled at her own failed attempt to imitate her new beau.
Lizzy silently cursed herself for deleting everything relating to Wickham after she had turned it into the police. Not that it mattered much; the police had informed her that the number she had was to a prepaid phone that was no longer traceable. Besides, there really wasn't any reason for her to think that George was Greg, was there? He didn't even know what Kitty looked like.
Jane gave her sister a cautiously knowing smile. Lizzy continued to shake her head in disbelief as she acknowledged the reason behind the forcefulness she had just displayed to her younger sister: I have a really bad feeling about this.
Jane saw the look on her face. You alright Lizzy?
"Yeah...Um, Kitty, why don't you ask him to email you a picture?"
"And be his stalker? No thank you. I'm sure he'll give me one eventually. He's not on Instagram or anything so I can't just get you one either, in case that's what you're thinking." She batted her eyelashes playfully, "Thanks for being so interested in my potential hottie boyfriend, though."
And that was the end of that subject. "Actually, speaking of emails...Jane, I was wondering...would you be able to show me the email Andy sent that caused so much confusion?"
Jane laughed. "Yes! You really should see it. I didn't think anything of it when she first sent it, but after Charlie explained everything, I couldn't believe how easily misinterpreted it was."
As Jane left to retrieve Kitty's laptop from her room, Lizzy doubted anything Andy sent could be that misinterpreted.
Jane returned a moment later. "Here it is. What do you think of that mess?"
At first Lizzy glanced over the words, barely reading them in her rush to get to the bottom of the email. Settling herself, Lizzy began a second reading, taking in every sentence in its poorly worded, what was she thinking? glory.
Oh my.
The sound of water rushing was the backdrop to the cascade of passion that pulsed through Lizzy's body. His hands were all over her; in her hair, stroking her thigh, tantalizingly playing with the edge of her bikini bottom. His ragged, warm breath caressed her neck as he kissed along her collar bone before returning to capture her mouth. A fire raged through her as she yearned to be even closer to him; to join their bodies in a relentless union of repressed ecstasy. Bringing his lips back to her ear, she heard his words, breathless and full of emotion: "Elizabeth, I love you."
She pulled her face back to look into his beautiful grey eyes; the truth of his words radiated from their every look. Stroking her hand through his wavy dark hair, she opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out.
The deeply rooted connection they shared held her soul captive as she contemplated his face. Could she be sure of her own heart? Was she IN love with him after all? Why had she not realized it sooner? How much of a fool would she seem if she acknowledged it now? Was it possible that, at the end of it all, she was simply afraid of rejection?
She must have taken too long, because Will's brow furrowed and he peered perceptively at her, still holding her possessively…longingly. "Lizzy?"
Still no words came.
"Lizzy?"
"Lizzy!"
Lizzy sat straight up and stared into the eyes of her sister.
"Goodness Lizzy. You were talking so loudly in your sleep that Charlie and I could hear you from my room. Are you ok?"
The last remnants of sand and heat left her as the inky black of her room turned into a dimmer gray. Flinging her head back into her pillow, Lizzy pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes. "No Jane, I'm not."
Jane walked around to the side of the bed and sat beside her sister. "What's wrong?"
Lizzy released a long breath and sat up to lean on her sister's shoulder. "Honestly? I can't stop thinking about Will. I…I think I messed up."
"Messed up? Will? Why?"
By now, Jane knew everything except the kiss and declaration that Will had given her behind the waterfall. For some reason, Lizzy hadn't been able to vocalize the experience; perhaps because vocalizing it made it real, and in some ways, it felt safer keeping the memory as a dream. Elizabeth had noticed that Charlie didn't seem to know about it either.
"Because I judged him Jane. So harshly. I was so ready to hate him that I only saw the things that would fuel my dislike. Yeah, he wasn't perfect, and he definitely messed things up between you and Charlie, but, now…I think his heart might have always been in the right place. I wasn't fair to him."
"You know, I find it very interesting that you're saying this. Charlie and I actually have a theory about you two."
"What?"
"A theory. I told you back at Toshi's that I thought he sounded like someone who might interest you. Believe it or not, the second Charlie met you, he thought the same thing about you for Will."
"Oh god. Alright, let's hear it. What is this theory you two have come up with?"
Jane put up her hands to buffer her next statement. "Just...hear me out. It's like you both are magnets, and fate found it funny to introduce you with your repelling ends facing each other. For whatever reason, that's how it happened. The thing is, we can't help thinking that if you both sought to find the opposite end, the deeper side of the other's personality, that you both would become inseparable."
Lizzy laughed sadly. "You know what? That sounds really great, in theory. But, I don't think that there is any chance of that after everything that's happened. I told him off pretty badly Jane."
"You won't know unless you try."
"I don't know. Maybe it's just better to leave well enough alone."
"I seem to remember a conversation in our kitchen a few months back about this very subject, Lizzy."
"Really, Jane? After what happened with Charlie? You still stand by that advice you gave me?"
All Jane had to do was hold up her left hand in response.
"Touché."
"Listen, you know that I support you either way. But I gotta confess - I've been rooting for you two to get together. You've never come out directly and said it, but there was always some serious chemistry there, whether you were willing to acknowledge it or not."
Lizzy pressed her lips together. "There was more than that, Jane. He kissed me in the DR in a way that pierced my soul. He told me that he loved me...that he was desperate for me." She laughed bitterly. "And you know what I did? I lied through my teeth and told him he never had a chance."
"He told you that he loved you? Charlie said he liked you a lot - that it was obvious - but love?" Jane broke into a wide smile. "Lizzy, that's wonderful!"
"Yeah...wonderful." She rolled her eyes. "Jane, did you not hear what I just said? I rejected him. Ruthlessly, I might add."
Jane shook her head in empathy. "Let's be real. There was a lot going on then. How do you feel now, Lizzy? Now, that you've had time to think...do you love him, too?"
The question surprised her, but her answer didn't. "Yes..," she savored the feel of the words in her mouth as she nodded her head. "Yes, I do. I love him. But I'm sure he wants nothing to do with me now. I figured it out too late."
"Do you know that for sure?"
"Well, no."
"So don't assume. Assumptions have gotten you both in enough trouble already. Are you going to England this Saturday, or not?"
"Yeah…"
"So?"
"So what?"
Jane screwed her face up and continued. "I feel like you and I have switched bodies in this conversation. You love him, and last you heard, he loves you. You just happen to be travelling to where he is. Just...go see him. You owe it to yourself to talk to him and you'll never know where you stand unless you try." Jane gave her sister's shoulders a gentle squish and stood up. "I'm Team Will, Lizzy. There's just something about the way you two balance each other out. He's good for you. And...I have a sneaking suspicion you'd be good for him, too. Good night, Liz Biz."
Lizzy watched as the door to her room closed behind her sister. Sitting alone in the silence, Lizzy closed her eyes to recall the look that Will had given her in her dream. No. Not her dream. That day...behind the falls. His eyes had told her all in that moment, all that she was desperate to hear him say again now. Her heart raced at the memory, each beat reinforcing what she had foolishly ignored all along: at some point over the last four months, she had fallen in love with him. Truly. Irrevocably. Deeply.
Jane was always able to make things so easy- to put everything in its proper perspective. But could she really just see him after all that she had said? After all that she had accused him of? Would he even see her? His eyes at the end had been so different. So dark. So angry. Could he really forgive her? She honestly wasn't sure that she could even forgive herself...
And of course she was going to England this Saturday. She had to - her sole purpose for going was to work on a campaign for his company! Well, technically, that should make it pretty easy to see him, even if it was just for work...
Lizzy flinched at the simplicity of her realization. Of course...for work. She hadn't directly worked with Will for so long that she almost forgot that she could. All she had to do would be to request a meeting under the pretense of the campaign. She could feel him out, and if they started talking about things other than work, what would stop them? It was innocent and simple enough. Jane was right - it wasn't like her to give up so easily - and like Charlie, there were certain things her heart was demanding her to set right, if possible.
Finally, after what seemed like an endless week of soul searching and reaching no conclusions, she finally knew what she had to do.
Lizzy Bennet was going to get her man.
A/N:
Same as last time, I reserve the right to make some tiny edits to this over the next few days. Writing this chapter was like wading through molasses! Thank you for your patience as I got everything in order. It used to be that I would be thinking about this story on my commute to work, but lately my head has been swimming with job applications and potential apartments, causing the writing to come much more slowly. I'm sorry that my posting schedule has been so drawn out. I am doing my best, I promise.
I've had some interviews, but no offers yet. Thank you for the well wishes everyone and I will keep you updated.
Also, links are up to the last few DR locations and of course, Jane's ring! :)
Thank you again for all your favorites, follows, reviews and PMs! I plan on getting back to all of you within the next 2 weeks. You all are awesome for staying with me!
Oh, and I always felt that canon Lizzy had it in her to pursue Darcy when she realized what she wanted...but proper decorum at the time would never have allowed her to even consider that option. I certainly wanted to rectify that here. :)
5/7, 11:30pm EST - whoops! Forgot to include some details that I meant to put in here. Added them into the bottom of the second section. :)
5/10 2AM EST - Made my edits- can't really call them tiny but they really were just to clean up the chapter and flesh some things out. I am so much happier with it now. I hope you all feel the changes were for the better too!
5/28 Update- Still here everyone! The next chapter is coming along but not all there yet. I thought I would get it done tonight but unfortunately it needs more work. I'm doing everything I can to get it done as quickly as possible. Thank you for your patience!