Uncanny Deadpool II

Chapter 34: Lady Mandarin Returns: Part 1

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics.

The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning-

Betsy Braddock struggled through the corridors of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning. The British mutant had just returned home from a shopping trip with both hands full of bags. The twins were being looked after by Ororo, their godmother and regular babysitter. Her husband was conveniently unavailable.

'Hello, anybody home?' Betsy called out, hoping that somebody would be kind enough to give her a hand. The purple-haired telepath frowned when nobody answered. She decided to use her telepathy to seek out assistance. 'Is there any chance of one of you lazy sods giving me a hand?'

'Always a pleasure to hear your voice, Elizabeth.' Emma Frost replied. 'A package came for you while you were out. Peter left it in your cottage.'

'Any idea what it was?' Betsy enquired.

'I'm not your bloody postmistress.' Emma retorted before cutting communication.

'Hmm. Lovely woman.' Betsy sniffed. 'Hope she doesn't fall in a pit or anything…'

Betsy headed over to the cottage in the grounds of the institute that she and her husband shared and sure enough, there was a package sitting on the kitchen table waiting for her.

'Wonder what it could be…' Betsy thought out loud as she began to open the package. 'It's not my birthday or anything.'

Inside the package was a golden necklace with a large purple gem.

'I guess it's from Wade.' Betsy shrugged as she put on the necklace. 'Not really my style, but I guess I'll humour him.'

No sooner had Betsy placed the necklace around her neck, then a white-hot searing pain shot through her head.

'Aaaugh!' Betsy hissed in pain as she clutched one of the kitchen chairs for support. Fortunately, it didn't take the pain very long to subside. Betsy blinked her eyes in an attempt to clear her mind.

'Kill Wade Wilson!'

'What?' Betsy blinked in confusion at the sound of the mysterious voice in her head. 'Emma, if that's you it isn't bloody funny.'

'Kill Wade Wilson! Kill him!'

An evil smile slowly spread on Betsy's face.

'Yes, kill him!'

A little while later-

Logan sniffed the air as he trudged up the stairs to his room. He had an intruder in his quarters. Nobody would ever be stupid enough to sneak into his room, not even any of the students.

'What the hell's goin' on?' The feral mutant growled as he threw the door open. 'Betsy?'

Betsy Braddock spun around to face Logan, his antique sword in her hands. Instead of her usual purple outfit, Betsy had donned body armour with a cloak and pointed headwear. It was the same outfit that she wore during her time under the thrall of the Hand.

'Put down the sword, Betts.' Logan told his friend. 'I ain't gonna ask you again.'

'My quarrel is not with you, Logan.' Betsy responded. 'Move out of the way, or pay the price.'

'What's wrong with you, Betsy?' Logan frowned. 'You ain't never been a thief, and why are ya wearin' that old get up.'

'I am no longer known as Betsy.' The purple-haired Brit stated. 'Now I am only to be known as Lady Mandarin!'

'Don't say I didn't warn ya.' Logan said as he unsheathed his claws.

SNIKT!

'Fool!' Lady Mandarin hissed as she unsheathed the stolen sword and blocked Logan's attack.

'Why the hell are ya doin' this, Betsy?' Logan growled as he tried to reach his friend. 'Somebody has to be controllin' ya. Who is it, Mastermind? The Shadow King?'

'I am under no control.' Lady Mandarin responded as she kicked Logan away. 'You must not stand in the way of my mission. I must kill Wade Wilson!'

SHUNK!

Lady Mandarin ran Logan through with her purloined sword, pinning him to the wall. She withdrew the sword and leapt out of the window, making a getaway.

'Argh. Son of a…' Logan growled, clutching the stab wound in his chest. 'That's one hell of a domestic you got yerself now, Wilson.'

The offices of Deadpool Inc., later

Sandi Brandenburg, Deadpool Inc.'s secretary, looked up from her computer screen as Lady Mandarin walked in through the door and headed for Deadpool's office.

'Uh, Ms Braddock, you can't go in there…' Sandi called out, trying to halt the purple-haired woman. 'Mr Wilson is in a meeting with a client.'

'Get out of my way, Sandi!' Lady Mandarin sneered as she shoved Sandi away. 'I have business with my husband.'

'Uh… okay.' Sandi blinked in confusion. 'Whatever's going on between you two isn't any of my business.'

Lady Mandarin pushed her way into Deadpool's office and marched up to the client that the Merc-With-A-Mouth was talking to.

'Leave. Now.' The client didn't need to be told twice and scampered out of the door.

'Hey Betts, what's up?' Deadpool asked. 'What's up with the funky costume? You trying a new look?'

Lady Mandarin unsheathed her sword and lunged at her husband.

'Die!'

'Holy!' Deadpool yelped in surprise as he tumbled backwards out of his seat. 'Was it something I said? Is it because I never came shopping with you? Did I forget our anniversary? Your birthday? Do you have woman's troubles?'

'Shut up and die, you idiot!' Lady Mandarin yelled as she took another swipe at Deadpool. The Merc-With-A-Mouth took refuge behind his desk.

'If you want chocolate, I have chocolate.' Deadpool continued. 'Just let me get it out of my drawer…'

CHUNK!

Lady Mandarin took off Deadpool's hand with a deft swipe from the sword.

'Ow! Dang it!' Deadpool hissed as he clutched his injured arm. 'Enough is enough, honey. That was my favourite hand!' The Merc-With-A-Mouth stood up and tried to calm his wife down. 'This isn't funny any more, baby. Put the sword down, somebody could get seriously hurt.'

SHUNK!

Deadpool looked down at the sword sticking out of his chest.

'Aww, turds.'

Outside-

Logan pulled up outside the offices of Deadpool Inc. on his motorbike and stopped beside a parked car.

CRASH!

Logan looked up at the sound of breaking glass and leapt off his bike at what he saw falling towards him.

'Yaaaaaaaugh!'

CRUNCH!

Deadpool crashed down upon the car Logan had just pulled up beside.

'Wilson, we got a situation with yer wife.' Logan stated. Deadpool groaned weakly in response.

'Gee, ya think?'

TBC…

Next: Lady Mandarin Returns- Part 2

Who is the one responsible for turning Betsy back into Lady Mandarin? Tune in next time to find out!