So… I have changed the cover to this, the explanation will be in the next chapter. The picture is of a burning candle in the dark- I shot it—so no one steals- as long as you haven't asked me first. It's shot in church.

George POV

"And Sophia?" I pulled on a blazer that I had gotten to lend from Mike and fixed it watching my reflection in the mirror. It had been five days since Sophia- whether it was by choice or not- had told us and the others what it was- or at least big part or what it was that had happened to her before she came here- and that was one of the worst stories I had ever heard.

Since then- and since Sophia had woken up from falling asleep afterwards, she had just been lying on her bed. Barely reacting to what we had said or tried to make her do. We had realized when it stood clear that Sophia was barely responding to any of what we said- that the most important art was to get her to drink water.

A couple of times I or Mike or Gina had gotten her to drink a few mouthfuls of water- maybe half a cup at the most a few times- but that was all. We had tried with everything we knew she liked- cola, Hershey's, ham, cereal. Gina had a long while been sitting dabbing Sophia's forehead with a wet towel just to see if she would get a reaction, but nothing happened- we had even been trying with talking about that if she just reacted to what we said we would go horse riding or go to the movies- but no reaction.

Now I hadn't been at Elm Tree House for a couple of days I asked Mike what had happened. But Mike's eyes shining on how hopeless he felt was enough and I didn't have the heart asking anymore about her- I had my usual jeans and sneaker with Mike's blazer, button- up and tie- and today was the day.

Today was the day I would meet my mother in the first time since the day in court after she had murdered my brother.

"Maybe I shouldn't do this today!" I told Mike. "Or maybe you shouldn't come. I don't mean that you shouldn't for me, I just mean that you're needed here." Mike shook his head. "Maybe the others could need you."

"Don't worry about that George. Gina is here and Tee, Lily and Carmen are also holding an eye on Sophia. They'll do without the both of us for a few hours and you need me more than them for now." I nodded and pulled off a tiny piece of dust from Mike's Blazer and pulled a hand through my hair again. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'm ever going to be." I answered him. Then I took another bit of hair-gel in my hand and pulled it through my hair again. "Let's go then." We walked out to Mike's car- I didn't trust my own driving at this point, the thoughts were spinning in my head and both of my arms and my legs were just shaking as badly it made it almost hard to walk and open the car door to get in.

While Mike drove out from the driveway and down the road I realized what I had seen and heard walking through Elm Tree House. It was back to normal- people were laughing, shouting, playing games, fighting- they had fast went back to what they were before and maybe it was that easy. They weren't haunted by the thoughts of that they had survived it while others didn't like Sophia was, they weren't haunted by the memories day and night and they weren't constantly reminded of the fact that they had lost everything.

So they had just went back to normal

For a moment I felt a gust of envy. Envy because they as children who hadn't been through them things could just forget about it. They weren't haunted by flashbacks, memories, nightmares and wondering how they could have survived when no one that they loved had been able to do so.

For a moment thinking about all of that I had forgotten about where we were going, but so a memory from the worst day of my life returned- and so it was back, how I had been crouching in the cupboard under the stairs hearing the woman I would soon meet came back. "and here we are!" Mike pulled over in front of some big grey stone- wall buildings and I leaned over him as far as possible to talk to the man who was opening the gate for us.

"You'll see this will go just fine." Mike straightened the tie around his neck a bit and then gestured to me to do the same just as a guard came and showed us to come with him. My legs shaking made every move slow and stiff and I shoved my hands in my pockets to have them shake a bit less as well. Mike clapped my shoulder.

"Don't worry George." Mike clapped my shoulder. "I'm here for you okay?" I nodded and walked into the room the guard showed us into. The walls, floor and ceiling were grey concrete just like everything else in here and in the middle of the floor there stood a table with one chair on each side. I showed Mike to sit down on our side, I was way too nervous to sit down and as I heard the door behind me open and three pairs of footsteps I knew who it was- I just couldn't bear to turn around and see her.

"Hello George." When I heard her voice I finally looked up from the table and met her eyes. She looked mostly like I remembered her- only shaggier than what it had been the last time I saw her. Her dark hair was turning grey and greasy and hanging in big tousles around her face, her skin was almost grey, her eyes tired but still with that evil glare that made shivers go through my body as if the room had just gone freezing cold.

"Hello mother." I said, but my voice sounded far away and dull, as if I was hearing it from the other side of a wall when I answered her greet. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, I didn't want to look at her, I didn't want to see her at all. Or know about her. I felt Mike's hand on my shoulder and heard him ask in my ear if I was okay and forced myself to give a nod before I slowly opened my eyes again.

It was not that I had expected anything else- but still I flinched on seeing her again.

I could see she hadn't stopped smoking during the thirteen years since I saw her last. She sat with a cigarette in between her teeth and then pulled it out, blotting her teeth, some had fallen out, or been pulled out, the rest were yellow- partly black from the god knows how many cigarettes a day- and it only put more onto the fact that just watching her made shivers go through my body.

I wasn't ever going to end up like her!

I had known it before, I wasn't ever going to end up like her! But now I felt it! I really felt that I wasn't ever going to let myself be so broken down and inside and out so ridden by pure evil and years and years of not taking care of oneself. I really felt that I wasn't ever going to let myself sink as low as she had let herself sink with me and my brother.

I just felt it! I wasn't ever going to be where she was today!

But I still couldn't get a word out!

I kind of wished she'd be the first one to speak.

"You've grown!" Mother said. I nodded- I had been twelve years old when I saw her last and it had been thirteen years since I saw her last and I was now twenty five, more than half my life had passed and within those years about four decimeters growing in a growth spurt when I was fourteen and fifteen.

"Of course I have mother," my voice was quiet and cold as ice. "I actually got the pleasure of becoming an adult. Continue to grow until it had stopped by itself and get my own life- did you know anyone who didn't?" I didn't know where all the words suddenly came from but suddenly I went from not being able to get one single word out to not being able to stop speaking and everything I had wanted to say during all these years just hit me all at once.

"I sat there and listened that day mother. As so many days before I just sat in the cupboard under the stairs and listened to Geoff take one blow and one kick and one insult after the other. But I knew that time you'd taken it too far. I just knew!" I was still shaking, but more of anger than of fear at this point.

"He was a fag."

"HE WAS YOUR SON" I shouted. "He was your son… and my brother! And even though you might not have loved him like you should I DID." I paused to breathe in. "And look where it got you. Do you enjoy your time here, does it feel good that you've done what you've done?" My voice sounded more unsteady and weaker than what I had planned. "For who he could or could not love?"

I hid my hands under the desk and clenched my hands around my thumbs and watched my mother lit another cigarette. For the first time since we had come in here I really met her eyes with mine- her eyes were blue- grey, and quite big. Not really dark but not light, they could have been beautiful if they weren't so ridden by her evil soul.

But I just wished that I hadn't gotten my eye color from her.

If something went wrong, in my life. If I got ill and my whole psyche was ridden by evilness. Would I preform things that she had- would I ever become so sick my eyes looked even more like hers than what they already did? The thought of that they might felt frightening, I wasn't going to, I wasn't going to let that happen but I couldn't keep myself from getting sick- like she couldn't keep herself from getting sick- she wasn't always like this.

Flashback

"Mummy, mummy" I at six years old walked up to my mum's bedroom door where Geoff sat right by the door and looked up from his magazine just as I came up the stairs with tears on my cheeks. "Mummy I fell." I tried to get myself to the door, but Geoff who had just turned nine and was a lot bigger than me stepped in front of the door so I couldn't get to it. "Geoff stop it I want mummy."

"No Georgie, you can't go in there now. Mummy's tired remember?" I knew mummy was tired, she had been tired a lot lately and only stayed in her bedroom for hours- sometimes days at the time. "Come on, let me see buddy?" Geoff leaned down to see the scratch on my knee but I pulled it away.

"My knee hurts, I fell and I want mummy." I pouted. "MUMMY, MUMMY, MUMMY. I want her to come and blow like she did on my hand and it made it all better. MUMMY, MUMMY, MUMMY" Suddenly the door to mother's bedroom flew open. Mother looked tired but without a word she took my hand and led me to the bathroom where she pulled out the first aid kit and pulled up the slack of my jeans.

She did it all so fast, blew and put a plaster on. Then she stood up and walked away and didn't let me tell her what she had forgotten. "What is it?" Geoff asked just as the door to mother's bedroom slammed with a big bang. "You got what you wanted and now mum's angry as well so don't pout like that! What is it?"

"She blew on the wrong knee!"

End of flashback

That was the last time I could remember my mother caring for me like a mum would. Before that happened, before she started getting tired and ill. Then she had always been the best mum on earth. She'd sit by me and eat ice cream and look at cars, she'd talk with me and read me magazines doing cool voices- I had loved her

And she had loved me!

In the court and by doctors and psychologist's they had found out that my mum had yet one possible mental disability after another- and the only thing they all had in common was that none of them would have been enough for her not to end up in prison after she had had help from psychologists and medicines and everything there was.

And I didn't know what to think about that

Because I knew I felt good for that

Because I didn't want her out walking free on the streets

Not after what she had done

"And who is that?" Mother asked and nodded to Mike. "You a fag too?" I shook my head.

"This is Mike mum. And no, I've got a girlfriend. But Mike is head care- worker at a care- home I*m having parts of my work experience on… I'm studying to a psychologist." Mother raised an eyebrow, I knew some comment about the study I had chosen would come, I just knew it- well- I guess I would just have to get used to it.

"A shrink?" Mother asked, I nodded. "Well, I always knew you'd end up nothing!" I closed my eyes, the urge was strong to just stand up and walk away. But I wasn't going to break under her pressure. "On a care- home?" She snorted. "Even more of nothing!" I sighed and shook my head. "You're no better than your brother! He was nothing but a fag!"

I had had enough!

I stood up with my hands on the edge of the desk of the table. I felt the anger boiling up inside of me- how dared she? How could she? After everything she had caused? "Hey, calm, down, calm down." Mike laid his hand on my shoulder and brought me back to reality. I slumped backwards into the chair again but I could still barely breathe of anger.

"Don't you dare talk about Geoff like that." I wheezed. "He was a much better person than you will ever be- and at least none of us would ever become a murderer!" I was surprised I could pull enough for my breath to even talk like that, and ripped the blazer off and unbuttoned the shirt enough to pull my sleeve down, the T- shirt sleeve up to show her the tattoo on my shoulder in memory of Geoff.

"Do you hate me George?" Mother asked. I didn't want to answer that question- I didn't hate her. How could I hate her? But I hated her- oh I hated her so badly! "Why did you come here then? Is it worth getting only scared and angry over someone that you hate as badly as you hate me?" I was stunned. I didn't know what to answer- what could I answer? "You should leave, because I don't want to talk to you either!" Mother turned to one of her guards and said something about leaving.

And if it wasn't for Mike, and for another few guards that came to lead us two out of the prison I probably would have been sitting by that table for hours staring right out in the air without knowing what on earth I was looking on. But I couldn't stay as a guard who's name- tag read Marks came and led me and Mike through what felt like Miles of corridors with concrete walls and outside to the sunlight.

"Do you want to grab something to eat?" Mike asked when in the car. "I'm buying." I shook my head that I held rested in my hand with my elbow towards the car door. Most of all I just wanted to go home and slump on my bed. Or rather slump in the bed I had lent at the dumping ground more and more the last couple of weeks. I just didn't feel like being alone right now. "I've kept an eye on you- I was worried- you haven't eaten since yesterday. We are grabbing something to eat."

I made a quite failed attempt to smile- it ended up as no more than a half- hearted grimace. But whatever it was- it faded more and more as I answered the call when my phone started ringing and got the news. Before I told the prison- guard goodbye and then slowly lowered the phone and for a moment was stunned before I stuttered something I barely knew what.

"W-we have to go to F-freeman Hospital," I stuttered a bit. "Something happened to my mother…"

It didn't feel real- it didn't feel right that I had met her just half an hour ago and now she was…

…dying

And cliffhanger ending to that. Mohahahaha