Shane walked out of the shower room, a towel hanging loosely on her hips and another in her hand rubbing vigorously at her hair. She glanced over at the radio clock, 9:00 it read in digital font. That gives her a good ten minutes to get ready and get to the beach. Carmen would have been there by now. She had never imagine herself to be a morning person. Carmen was never a morning person too. But she must really loved the beach to go and take a walk early every morning..

Shane threw on a white long sleeved cotton shirt and a pair of jeans. She crossed from the closet space to the writing desk and picked up the dark glasses and huge beanie. After placing the beanie on, she looked at herself in the mirror, satisfied that she was not recognizable. She picked up her keys and her wallet and strolled confidently to the door. The minute she opened the door. She gasped.

Carmen stood right outside the door, hands hung tensely on her hips, eyes, in a form of a frown, stared angrily at Shane.

To see Shane here. To confirm with her own eyes what she had suspected for a week now. It felt strange, it felt good, it felt like shit. Shane had so evidently broken her promise to stay away, to give her her space. And Shane had been stalking her, following her around, making her feel like she was paranoid. But Shane, who loved her so much that she couldn't stay away, who cared for her so much that she had to be here. Shane. She didn't know how much she had missed her girlfriend until this moment, when she laid her eyes on her. But this wasn't the time to make nice. Carmen was angry. Carmen was very angry, she was fuming in fact, fuming because the one person that she trusted the most, was the very person that betrayed her trust.

Carmen had rehearsed this speech, this confrontation the entire morning, and the words came flowing out, "How long have you been here?"

She saw the guilty look on Shane's face. Saw how she shifted her feet around uncomfortably. Carmen knew Shane loved her, and that was why she was here. She knew exactly what Shane would say, what she would do. But she wanted to hear it from Shane. Surprisingly, Shane didn't offer any explanation, instead, she tried to grab Carmen and pull her into the room.

Carmen jerked her arm away from Shane's touch, hugging herself defensively across her chest. She saw the crestfallen look on Shane, but as soon as it appeared, it was replaced by another look, a new determination.
"Carmen, please. Come in… Let me explain."

Her arms wound tighter around her, unsure of whether to stay where she was or to go into the room. She didn't want to make a scene, and this was Shane, her girlfriend, not some random stranger she should be afraid of. Why would she be hesitating knowing that Shane would never hurt her physically. She decided she was being ridiculous and stormed into the room, settling at the edge of the writing desk, arms still firmly crossed in front of her chest.

As Shane closed the doors, Carmen continued staring at her back, trying to make meaning to all this.

'At least she didn't walk away, that has to be a good thing.' Shane thought.

"So. When did you arrive."

"A week."

"A week? You have been following me around for a week?"

"….yeah."

"I can't believe you, Shane! You betrayed my trust. Damnit… I called you everyday. And you told me you were at work… at home… you even told me bout Al's birthday party." Carmen was devastated.

"Carm… I…"

"You lied! You lied Shane. You told me you were not a liar. But you lied to me."

"Please… let me explain…"

"Explain? So that you can lie again!"

"Goddamnit. I missed you Carm." Shane shouted out, unable to keep it in anymore. All the frustration, all the emotions, she had to express it to Carmen. "I missed you so much, but you don't want me here. You rather be here on your own…" Shane paused, knowing that she was treading on dangerous ground. "How do you think it made me feel. I had to see you. But you don't want to see me."

"You left me, you fucking left!" Carmen's voice matched Shane's. "You left, and now you're saying I should come running back just because you said so?"

"That's not what I'm saying!" Shane raised her hands in exasperation. "I… Fuck!" She was fuming, but she was mainly angry at herself. She knew she was in the wrong here. But why couldn't Carmen see that it was all out of good intentions, and love.

"Then what is it?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. I thought that if I was out of the picture, Anna would return, and you would be able to fight the… the cancer. I don't want to be your burden."

"Then why are you here?" Carmen asked, barely a whisper.

"Because I fucked up!" Shane let out a high pitched shout, with tears choked within. "Because I made a mistake, because I missed you so much. Because you didn't want to see me, I would stay out of your way. But I had to see you."

Carmen stared at the woman in front of her. The love of her life, her Shane. Her Shane who was walking in circles, frustrated and fuming, agitated and exasperated. Carmen stared at the woman hard, "You had betrayed my trust."

"I know I did. I know I fucked up again. I'm not proud of it. But I know I had to see you, I had to see how you are doing, had to see if you were well. I don't know what else to do. You're all alone here. I just cannot let you be here alone."

"I'm an adult, not a child. I am not some sick fuck that needs your pity."

"Fuck! It's not pity, don't you fucking understand. It's not pity, it has never been pity. It is love. Love, Carmen. Fuck… it's love."

"And it is also trust. You have broken that trust." Carmen shook her head.

"Carm… I know I did. I…"

"You followed me around everyday, knowing that I asked you to give me some space."

Shane couldn't stand the situation anymore. She was broken. A broken woman who was at a lost of what to do.

"You think you know what is best for me. You don't. I know what is best for me."

"Fuck. I give up. I give up. You can do whatever you want to do." Shane said, her voice colder, harder then it had ever been.

A long pause followed. Not one woman knew what else to say. Both knew that anything they said right now would be the point of no return, that they would regret everything they say after this point.

Carmen turned her face away from Shane, unable to look at her love without bursting out into tears.

"What are you trying to say? Just say it Shane."

"I don't fucking know! All I know is I have fucked up by leaving you, and now I fucked up by being at your side. What the fuck do you want me to fucking do." Shane ran her hand through her hair, but her beanie was in the way, she yanked it off her head and flung it across the room, using that poor innocent beanie as a tool to express her anger.

"I wanted you to trust me. I wanted to trust you." Carmen said, softly this time, full of remorse.

Shane heard the finality in Carmen's voice, and she started to panic. She didn't want Carmen to lose faith in her, she didn't want to lose her love.

"Carmen…" Shane plead as she crossed the room to stand in front of the slumped Latina, "Carmen… please… I don't know what else to do… please don't… I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."

Carmen's head was turned away from her sight, and Shane moved her face in front of Carmen to look into her eyes, to try to get her attention. "Peach… I love you, and I missed you… From that moment I left the house… I was so broken. I felt like I was going to die… I… I wanted to do the right thing, but it wasn't the right thing. It was killing me, and I know it was killing you too."

The tears flowed from her eyes, and she wiped her tears off roughly; she could see that Carmen too was tearing, and she tried to wipe Carmen's tears away, but Carmen turned her head away sharply, not agreeing to contact just yet. Shane shifted her head to the front of Carmen's again and continued her confession. "When I heard you left, I… I just didn't know what else to do. I looked around the entire LA for you. I called you every other minute. I was desperate."

"Peach, when I know where you were, I just had to see you… I... I wasn't thinking straight. I know I was wrong. Please… please don't be mad at me." Shane shoved her hands across her face again, the tears blurring her ability to look at Carmen. She saw Carmen's face soften up slightly, and she thought that she might still have a chance. But when Carmen looked up, Shane was devastated, she knew that look. The look of determination. The self-righteous and harden look.

"You blew it. You blew it… You fucking blew it Shane." Carmen said calmly. Without uncrossing her arms, she shove herself pass Shane and walked towards the door.

Shane couldn't let Carmen walk away. She couldn't just let Carmen disappear again, and she knew, this time Carmen would walk off for good. She couldn't bear that.

Before Carmen reached out for the door knob, Shane crossed the room and yanked Carmen roughly towards her, wrapping her love into her arms, "I'm not letting you get away again. I'm not letting you go…" Shane chanted, holding Carmen tightly from the back. Her arms tighten across Carmen's chest, so tight that it was tensed with veins popping out. Her legs were shaking, and if she wasn't holding Carmen, they would have given way.

Carmen soften into Shane's embrace, she missed it so much, and she missed her. She was so determined to walk out and not look back. But her resolve was reduced to bits when Shane placed her powerful arms around her, making her feel so secure. She remembered that all the time she spent here, away from Shane, she thought about her constantly, thought about this moment, where they would fall into each other's arms again. Carmen let out a small sigh.

Maybe it would take awhile to forgive Shane, maybe she would never be able to trust Shane again, maybe Shane would forever treat her like an invalid. But the one thing she was sure of, she knew that if she walked away now, it would be the biggest mistake of her life.

Carmen pushed against Shane's arms, and instinctively, Shane held on harder, afraid that Carmen was going to walk away. Carmen surprised Shane by turning in her arms instead, her head squared in her girlfriend's chest, her arms snaking around Shane's waist. And for the first time that day, her tears were those of joy.