Loki hadn't been himself Phil noticed over the past few days. He could understand it seeing as Loki had lost the woman who believed in him through everything. He still couldn't believe that the agent was gone. They were all taking it hard. Loki spent his time alone, not really wanting to be with anyone while Maria spent her time with the children. It had been a few days and Phil sighed not liking what was going on today.

Dressed in black, the three adults were gathered in the back yard of the house. Loki hadn't wanted to cremate her for some reason so they agreed on keeping her near the house. It would be where only they knew and they wouldn't have to tell anyone. Maria had dressed Natasha in one of her black dresses and made her up, dreading the task though. Loki had set up where she would be buried and used his magic to create her resting place. Phil had worked around the house and was there to hold Maria when she broke down and cried.

They headed out to where Loki had set everything up for Natasha's… funeral. They would be the only ones in attendance, not because she had no one in her life, but the fact that Loki had wanted everyone to believe she lived and was still on her leave of absence. He thought there might be a way to bring her back. He needed her in his life because without her… everything good was gone. Everything beautiful in his life, the woman he loved completely… was gone. He figured that would happen at some point which is why he wanted to find her immortality. But he was too late. He could have saved her if he looked harder. But he didn't. It was his fault she died, he gave her the children and they were half frost giant. He should have known this might happen. A mortal giving birth to half frost giants wasn't good at all.

The only thing he had left of his wife were the two small children, wrapped in the blankets their mother and slept with, wanting to make sure that while she was pregnant. She had their baby blankets with her and wanted to keep them close to the children they were intended for. He had thought it was silly while she was doing it, now he understood it. The slight scent of their mother and the warmth of her love rested in those blankets, so they had a part of her with them. He held them both in his arms, Rowena and Matthew, sleeping soundly as they all spoke of the woman who now rested in the garden of flowers. "She was the best person once you got through that protective shell of hers," Maria said quietly. "She was loyal and sweet when you got to know her. I didn't know much about her, because she kept her history to herself. Natasha Romanoff will always be positively remembered with us here."

Phil gave a nod of agreement, wrapping his arm around his wife, looking at the marker holding the redhead's name and two dates. "Goodbye Natasha Romanoff," Phil said quietly. "You will be missed and remembered. Your children will be loved and well cared for." Everyone standing around had tears in their eyes and running down their face. This woman deserved so much more, but she would have only wanted this.

"This will not be goodbye my little spider," Loki stated quietly. "I will find a way to see you again." The three agents walked back into the house, the god quieting his children that had started to cry. They quieted down slightly as he began to sing the lullaby their mother had sang while they were in her womb. He wanted her here with him, he couldn't do this alone… he now knew how she felt when he had sent her back and given his mind to Thanos. He was alone.

oOo

It was cold, dark, and… scary. Natasha was afraid to admit that last one, but it was. She didn't understand where she was, but she knew she didn't like it. Looking around she tried to gain some semblance of the area she was currently residing in. She didn't remember much. She just remembered feeling cold, and a voice hissing in her mind's ear telling her, "It's your time. Come with me and the pain will go away."

She walked through the tangible darkness, hearing things around her. Echoes, ghostly whispers, muffled screams, and more were sounds she heard in the darkness. She began to panic. Maybe she hadn't done everything she could to wipe out the red. She knew it would never be completely gone, be she hoped that everything she did had helped her chances more. Maybe this… was Hell. She didn't deserve to go to heaven. She didn't deserve any of the good things in her life. She'd done so much bad… how she could ever think she deserved that grace was a mystery.

As she walked the noises got louder and there were sharp pains that radiated through her. She didn't understand them but they seemed to feel like ice in her veins. There was a foggy memory in her mind about this feeling, this pain… but she couldn't remember it all completely. As Natasha made her way through the darkness, she didn't know where she was, where she was going, or what lay ahead for her. Finally she stopped walking and immediately felt hands on her pulling her down, up, left, right, every way they could. She fought off the hands, trying to find the bodies they belonged to but found nothing but darkness. The hands clawed at her, grabbed her, dragged her, and gripped her. She didn't know what she could do to get them to stop, to get them to let her go. She panicked and struggled working to get herself free of their clutches.

She fought for what seemed like hours. Finally the hands let her go and she ran from the spot. She was tired from fighting but knew she couldn't stay in one place for too long. If she did, she'd experience that again and it frightened her. She came to a light and looked at it, having a terrible feeling of what would happen if she touched it. She had lost all track of time here, not quite sure of anything anymore. She finally gave into the exhaustion and curled up, falling asleep.

Upon her waking pain radiated through her again. She didn't know how long she had been here but even in the darkness, it felt like days. It probably was just hours, maybe even minutes… but the darkness pressed in on her and distorted time around her. Then, she felt someone rest a hand on her shoulder. "Come with me," The voice said calmly and comfortingly. Without giving the option for her to reply, the hand took her away and when she opened her eyes, bright lights surrounded her.

"Where am I? What happened?" She asked looking around, wincing from the pain the lights caused her.

"You are safe. That is all that matters for now," the voice stated. "Do you remember what happened?"

"I remember everything. I didn't even get to hold my children," She said as she began to cry. "I'll never see them again."

"You will," the voice told her. "For you are no longer dead. You have been in a state of waiting... what you would call Purgatory for a month in Midgardian time."

"Midgardian time…" She said through tears. "You're…"

"Yes. And you will stay here, until I determine it," The voice stated. Natasha looked around for the source of the voice, but everything was so bright. It was a commanding and strong tone. Definitely a hierarchal male. But she couldn't tell who it was that was speaking to her. It wasn't one of the two she'd heard call Earth Midgard so… it had to be someone they knew though. When her eyes finally adjusted there was a white haired and bearded man with a gold patch covering one eye looking at her. "Who are you?"

"I am Odin, the All-Father. And you Natalia Romanova, are in Asgard," he stated motioning to the realm she never thought she'd see. And Loki was right… it was beautiful.