"I have a daughter?" Abe's voice sounded awed.

"According to Janine yes, you do. Her name is Rosemarie, but everyone calls her Rose, and she'll be eighteen in two weeks time."

I could almost hear him doing the math.

"Yes, that would be about right," he murmured. "So, why are you calling me?"

This was the part of the conversation I was dreading, and I knew I had to pick my words carefully.

"Rose is in trouble, Mr. Mazur," I started.

"Abe, please," he interjected. "What sort of trouble?"

"Expecting a baby sort of trouble," I explained. "You have to understand Rose is the most headstrong, fearless, troublesome, sarcastic student I think I've ever come across…" I could hear Abe chuckle a little, "but she is also one of the most loyal, brave and selfless people I've ever met. She's in training to be a Guardian, and she's honestly the last student I would have expected to find themselves in this situation. While she appears to muck around a lot, in reality, she's very driven, and since her earliest years she's devoted herself to becoming the Guardian of her best friend, Lissa Dragomir."

I paused to let him take all this in.

"Is she the Novice who took the Princess on the run?" he asked. "Had everyone looking for them for two years?"

"Yes, that was her," I admitted, not sure whether Abe knowing about that boded well or otherwise, but it had been the talk of the Moroi world at the time so it's not like I could deny it. "There was a threat to Lissa's safety, so Rose did what she had to do to keep her safe. She's always been very devoted to Lissa – in many ways the Dragomirs were the only family she's ever known as she's had basically no relationship with her own mother. As a result of the baby, Lissa has turned her back on Rose, and Janine has severed even the little contact they had. Rose is very alone and has no support."

"And the father?" he asked, menace in his voice. "Why is he not stepping up to help her out? Does he need some persuading?"

Abe's tone gave me reason to hope that he might be willing to help Rose if only a little.

"No, it's not like that. He was a wonderful young man, and the two of them were very much in love. There were some serious impediments to them being together, so they kept their relationship secret. In any case, he had to leave the Academy before Rose knew she was pregnant and he's now missing presumed turned."

Abe let out a long hiss acknowledging the cruel blow.

"The whole situation has been traumatic for her. There's a lot more to it than I'll go into now, but suffice to say Rose is dealing with the loss of the man she loves, the best friend she considers her only family has deserted her, and her mother has turned her back on her as well. She's determined to keep her baby, so as it stands she's going to graduate in two and a half months time and will find herself homeless with no money, no support network and heading into the last stage of her pregnancy. She can't work as a Guardian with a new baby, yet her training has left her ill-prepared to support herself and her child in any other way."

"So what do you want from me?" he asked, the question loaded.

"Honestly? Any help you can give. I know you're a well-connected man, Abe. She doesn't need a handout, but a word in the right direction to help her find some legitimate employment and somewhere safe to stay in the vicinity of Court would be a huge help."

"If she needs help, why hasn't she called me herself?"

"She has no idea who her father is. Janine signed Rose over to the Academy when she was four and has only seen her a handful of times since. Describing their relationship as distant would be exaggerating the connection," I said, trying to keep recrimination out of my voice and failing. "Rose was brought up here at the Academy essentially as an orphan."

"That doesn't sound like much of a childhood," he mused.

"No. It wasn't," I admitted. "But she's not the sort to dwell on things like that – she usually takes things on the chin and gets on with what needs to be done; which is one of the reasons I'm so worried about her now. Normally she's so full of life, but it's like this has defeated her and she's slowly slipping away from us. I've known her most of her life, and I'm scared for her, Abe. I wouldn't have called unless I was."

We spoke for a little longer before ringing off. Abe said it was a lot to take in and he'd like to make some of his own inquiries before committing his help, but that he very much appreciated my call and that no matter what he decided he'd be in touch within the week. As I replaced the handset in the cradle, I hoped I'd done the right thing. The last thing Rose needed was any more complications in her life. However, I was cautiously confident that Abe intended to be of some assistance to her.

Another week, another useless session with Deirdre. Instead of telling all the reasons different hospitals, workplaces or programs couldn't help me; I wish she'd just find somewhere that could.

"So basically you're telling me there's nowhere for me to work, live or have my baby?" I snapped after listening to twenty minutes of what she'd discovered.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I'll keep trying, but I think you might need to revisit the idea of adoption."

"I'm not giving up my baby," I said softly. "It's all I have left of Dimitri, and I owe it to him to keep our baby and raise it to know its father was a wonderful man who would have loved him or her very much."

"Have you reached out to his family, yet? Even if they can't help, surely they deserve to know?" It was something we kept coming back to in our sessions. I knew she was right, but I was putting it off. For all sorts of reasons, but mostly because I was scared. If my best friend didn't believe me, how could I expect Dimitri's family to? Especially now when, like me, they'd be grieving him. I'd explained that to Deirdre, but she'd countered saying knowing part of Dimitri lived on might help them with their grief. She was right; I did have to call them. But not yet.

"Besides, I can't ring – I don't have a phone," I'd said defensively. "Lissa had mine cut off."

She looked at me and raised an eyebrow, at that moment reminding me of Dimitri. And that was my undoing. He'd been so close with his family and loved them so very much – he would have wanted them to know he had a son or daughter on the way. I couldn't control whether or not they'd believe me, but I should give them the opportunity.

Deirdre tapped on her computer getting the phone number in Baia from Dimitri's personnel file before I changed my mind.

"It should be about 11 am there. You can use my phone," she said. "I'm going to have a coffee in the teachers' lounge – come get me when you're ready. Press 0 to get an outside line and then dial the numbers as written."

I nodded, thanking her with my eyes as I didn't trust my voice. She smiled and wished me luck before closing the door firmly after her as she left. I was shaking so hard I had to replace the handset and dial a second time to make sure I got the numbers right. Like last time, there were clicks and an unfamiliar ring tone. I heard the other end pick up and moaned partially in relief and partially in frustration when I realized I'd got the answering machine.

"Hello Olena, it's Rose. I'm so so sorry for your loss," I said my voice shaking as I cried. "I know this must be a horrible time for you and I'm sorry to intrude. I'm heartbroken, too… I really thought somehow he'd make it back. You asked me to call you if I had news and I do. You probably won't believe me, but it's the truth, and you deserve to know so please hear me out. I don't know how since we're both Dhampir, but somehow the weekend of Dimitri's birthday I fell pregnant. I know it's his as I've never been with anyone else. I'm sixteen weeks now and due the end of August. I'm sorry I haven't called earlier and I'm not asking for anything from you, but I thought you deserved to know that part of Dimitri is going to live on through his son or daughter. I know it's hard to believe, but when you're ready, please call me at St. Vladimir's on…"

BEEP. The recording time ran out, but I figured what I'd left was enough. They knew where I was and how to get in touch with me. In a way, I was glad that I hadn't had to speak with anyone. This way, the ball was in their court, so if and when they were ready or had questions they could call. And if they didn't call then I'd know they didn't believe me or didn't want to know about Junior.

I closed my eyes and sat for a moment. Being alone was nice. Since the news about Dimitri, the only time I'd had to myself was when I was in the bathroom or sleeping. Celeste had returned to her own dorm after the first few days, but I was still accompanied almost everywhere else which was both a blessing and a curse.

I suppose I'd have to go and pack up Dimitri's room soon. I hadn't been able to make myself go back there since he'd left, but his family deserved to have his belongings back. I made a promise to myself I'd send the box back to Baia within the week, and if I hadn't heard anything from his family by then, I'd send a letter with it explaining about Junior in more detail.

Leaving Deirdre's office, I stuck my head into the teachers' lounge.

"I got their answering machine," I explained giving her a wave before walking towards my combat class for the morning. Now I was officially signed off, I no longer needed to attend, but I liked to go and try and keep my fitness up. If I was going to be a Guardian sometime after the baby was born, I couldn't afford to let my fitness go completely.

I wanted to go to Rose and see how she was going. After our fight, I'd been annoyed and let myself get carried away, but seeing her since the announcement about Guardian Belikov, I had to wonder whether maybe there was some truth to there having been something between them. She looked crushed; as though her only reason for waking up in the morning was gone. I recognized the look because that's how I'd felt after the accident that killed my family.

I should have gone to her as soon as I'd heard the news. I'd meant to, but Christian had needed my help with his Aunt. Alberta had called Tasha to tell her about Guardian Belikov, and Tasha had come unstuck. She'd rung Christian straight afterward in hysterics, and it had taken him several hours to calm her down. Tasha had wanted to get straight to campus and mourn Guardian Belikov here with others who knew him, but Alberta had all but forbidden it, citing some incident that had occurred with Rose last time Tasha was here. I didn't know all the particulars, other than Tasha had spent a good part of her time on the phone to Christian and I bitching Rose out and calling her horrible names. Horrible names I'd called her myself during our fight, I realized.

I'd been watching all week trying to find a time to talk to her, but she was always with someone, and I felt that what we needed to say required privacy. I considered using the bond to try to talk to her, but after our fight, I'd started to appreciate that the bond was in some ways as invasive to her as it was to me. I still didn't appreciate her witnessing my private moments, but I could now see how she didn't appreciate having them thrust upon her.

By Wednesday a week and a half after the announcement I'd decided to talk to Eddie or Mason to see how she was going. Mason was closer to Rose, but also a lot more protective, so I thought I'd try Eddie. I caught him at the end of lunch, Rose having already left for her next class. I'd sent Christian off to the feeders so I could try and get a moment with Eddie alone.

"Um, Eddie. How are you? I haven't seen you in ages…" It was a lie. He was in two classes with me. I'd just stopped speaking with him when I'd ceased talking to Rose. "How have you been?"

"Well thank you, Princess. How can I help you?"

I mentally cringed. Eddie had always been friendly and relatively laid back with me. We'd sat at the same lunch table when Rose and I returned, and he'd never been like this.

"Um – well I wanted to ask how is Rose going?"

Eddie looked at me, and while it was brief, I am sure I saw contempt flicker in his eyes.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?"

"Well, we're not really speaking at the moment…" He looked at me not saying a word. "We had a falling out when she told me she was pregnant."

He shrugged still not saying anything.

"Anyway, I was just wondering if she's ok?"

"No, Princess. She's far from ok. We're all anxious about her."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I said the first thing that popped into my head.

"Is everything ok with the baby?"

"I seriously hope so. It's the only thing getting her through this."

I nodded.

"Has she told you who the father is?"

He nodded.

"Not at first. We only figured it out after she got the news."

"And you believe her?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"I think a better question is why don't you?" Eddie muttered before excusing himself to go to class.

The army had started arriving. They would be here for two nocturnal days and one sunlit night. Everything was as prepared as it could be. So, for now, it was a matter of waiting.

The plan was to expose Nathan and awaken me during Galina's address early on the second nocturnal day when everyone had gathered, so everything was going to have to happen during the daylight before then. I still wasn't sure my plan would work, or if it did whether I would make it out alive. But I had to try.

I was lying on my bed running through the final plans when I heard a knock. One of Galina's minions sent to get me. It wasn't unexpected – I knew she'd want to talk to me before the big day.

"Dimitri," she smiled welcoming me into her sitting room. "The faithful have started to arrive – are you excited?"

"I am," I admitted, although the reason for my excitement was a little different to hers.

"Any last wishes?" she asked mischievously.

"Yes, actually. I want to cook myself a huge steak dinner to eat a few hours before, and I want to spend my last day in the sun. Is that ok?"

"Whatever you want pet," she said in a way that should have been affectionate yet on her just looked predatory.

"Also make sure there's lots of vodka on hand for our celebration afterward. I don't think we'll want to be disturbed…"

She smiled.

"Of course."

"Has that payment to my family gone through?"

"It has. One hundred million rubles."

About one and a half million US dollars. More than enough to support my family comfortably for the rest of their lives. I had no way of verifying that she'd done what she said, so I could only hope she'd kept her word – even though I didn't intend on keeping mine.

I opened my arms to her, inviting her to lie back against my chest. She lay there going through various aspects of plans for the next day, particularly the outing of Nathan. If my plan came off, I'd never get to see it, but it was a sacrifice I was more than willing to make!

It was Friday 17th March. Five weeks since my Russian God was taken, three weeks since Guardian Schoenberg had broken the news to me. At lunchtime Eddie, Mason, Meredith, Angela, and Chelsea had tried to interest me in a games night, but I'd begged off telling them I really wanted to stay in alone.

"I'm nearly halfway through my pregnancy, and I've barely given this little person any thought," I'd explained. "I know it might not make sense to you, but tonight I want to stay in my room, look through the baby name book again and talk to Junior."

Mason had looked at me as though I was crazy, but Celeste understood.

"Mom was like that with my sister Stella," she agreed. "Every now and again she said she'd just want to stop and connect with the little miracle she was growing."

I smiled at her. I knew she was talking about her own pregnancy with Stella.

"I know where you are. I'll come get you if I get bored," I promised.

After dinner I walked back to the dorm with them, waving as they all headed back to the common room and I lay in bed, pulling out the name book again. I flicked through it for a while, but inspiration for a girls name was still lacking. So I dragged out my laptop, firing up my email program. Nothing there, so I fired up a new e-mail window.

My darling Dimitri,
You've been gone now five weeks, and still, I can't believe it. Somehow I thought were you really gone I'd feel it, but my heart refuses to believe even though my mind knows it's true. I got your letter, and it was beautiful, thank you. I could almost hear you reading it in my mind. I can remember you writing it at the hotel – how afterward you came back to bed, and we cried and held each other knowing it was our last night together.

I rang your family on Tuesday to tell them about the baby. I'm sorry I didn't call them earlier. I guess I kept hoping you'd come back to be able to tell them our big news yourself, and once I knew you weren't coming home, it was just one more thing I had to face that I put off. But I've done it now. I left a message on the answering machine and asked them to call me when they're ready to discuss, so hopefully, they'll give me the benefit of the doubt and call me to give me a chance to explain.

I've been reading the baby name book again tonight. I'm still stuck on a girl's name. I had a shortlist of boys' names I liked that I was going to discuss with you – but now I won't get that chance I'm going to run with my top choice if Junior is a boy. I think you'd approve. I really think it is (a boy), but I don't want to be unprepared, so I'm determined to pick a girl's name too just in case.

I checked the registration policy, and I'm not going to be able to give our baby the surname Belikov - even though I want to with all my heart. The rules state the baby has to have Mom's surname unless Dad is there to sign to acknowledge paternity, or there is DNA proof. The problem is even if I get your family to agree to a DNA test to prove Junior is yours, I still have to submit the proof with the registration forms - and then it will be public knowledge that Junior was created by two Dhampir.

I looked into changing my surname to Belikov before Junior is born, so he or she could have your surname, but it's going to cost $480 for me to change my name and that's almost three times the only money I have saved up :( So unless I come into enough cash before Junior arrives, I'm thinking of giving them 'Firstname Dimitrievich Belikov Hathaway' for a boy and 'Firstname Dimitrievna Belikov Hathaway' for a girl. I hope I got the Russian bits right. If your family call me, I'll check that's the right way to do it. Otherwise, I'll check with one of the Russian Guardians that it's correct!

Guardian Schoenberg was here last week and has signed me off on the combat sections of the Novice curriculum so I can graduate. Even though I'm just on seventeen weeks now, and the Dr. said I could train until twenty weeks, I'm starting to feel breathless when I exercise too hard. I'm still going to classes though, even though I'm no longer sparring or doing any of the interactive stuff with the other Novices.

Lissa is still not speaking to me, and I think this might be it for us, Comrade. At first, I was angry, but now I just can't be bothered buying into it. I just have too much else to do, and it hurts that she's known about Junior for over a month now, and hasn't once asked about him or her. And it's not as though I'll ever be her Guardian now, anyway. I was always taught 'they' came first, but now Junior is on his or her way, I know where my priorities lie.

It's my eighteenth birthday in eight days, and while I once held such huge hopes for that day, without you here, it really will be just another day. I'm much more excited about later that week when I'm due to go to Missoula again for another scan. I can't wait to see Junior again! I can find out if it's a boy or a girl at this scan, and everyone is saying I should find out, but I am not sure I will. When I thought about it, I imagined you wouldn't want to know, and since you've had no say in any of this, it seemed like a way to give you input even though you're not here.

I'm sorry I keep emailing you. You're gone, and I should accept that, but I just can't. So humor me my darling while I keep writing and dreaming that somewhere you might be able to read this. That even though you're gone, there's some way of you knowing how much I miss you. How much I still love you and how much I wish things had been different for you, me and our baby.

I love you, Comrade.
Roza

I pressed send and then lay on my bed, running my hand across my stomach. My baby bump was getting a little more noticeable now! It was quite late – nearly 11 am – and I really should sleep soon. I rolled onto my side and was looking at my photos of Dimitri when I felt something. Inside my tummy, I felt a weird fluttering feeling. It was as though butterflies were inside my stomach. It took a moment or two before I guessed what it was.

And then it was as though the floodgates had opened. I cried for ten minutes before I leaped out of bed. The corridors were silent and empty, and I tried to keep my cries down although I was sobbing by the time I was walking through the Guardian dorm hallway. Perkins found me three-quarters of the way to Alberta's room and escorted me the rest of the way, not even trying to speak with me after the third time he'd asked me what was wrong and all I could gasp was "Alberta."

He knocked on a door at the end of the corridor, and within seconds Alberta was at the door, looking very different in a large fluffy bathrobe and a pair of slippers.

"Rose? What's wrong!" she asked in alarm.

I threw myself into her arms.

"I felt the baby move!"

Alberta motioned Perkins away and hugged me as I wept on her shoulder.

"Come in, I'll make you a hot chocolate," she suggested, but I shook my head.

"Can you let me into his room? I know he's gone, and he's not coming back, but I want to share this with him. I need to feel close to him right now…"

She nodded, fetching her keys and leading me up the stairs and unlocking the door to Dimitri's room. Even though the air was stale and the room felt disused, there was still the faintest scent of him. My tears escalated, and I hugged Alberta.

"Can I sleep here tonight? Please? I won't make a mess or a fuss."

"Of course. Did you want me to stay with you? Or get Celeste?"

"No. This is something I need to share with just him."

With a final hug, I closed the door, leaning back against it to look at the neat and orderly room my love had left behind – untouched since he and I were last in it together. Outside, I heard a door open and a familiar voice.

"Everything ok?" It was Stan's voice. I never knew he had the room opposite Dimitri's.

"Everything's fine, thanks, Stan," Alberta said. "Rose felt the baby move for the first time tonight, and she's just feeling a little lost. She's missing Belikov, too, so she's going to sleep here this evening. If anyone queries it, let them know I approved it."

"Shall do. Alberta?"

"Yes?"

"The rumors are true, aren't they? Belikov is the father, isn't he?"

"He is," she said so softly I almost didn't catch it through the door.

"That poor kid," he mumbled.

"The baby?" Alberta snapped.

"No," he clarified. "I meant Rose."