A/N: I own nothing of Hellsing. I do not own any of the characters. However I do own my original characters (oc's).

Here is chapter 34 of my story Dark Guardian

Let me just take the time and effort to say huge thanks to everyone. I am so pleased by all the lovely comments people are leaving me for this story. Even more so, I am blown away by the number of 'visitors' I have had to this story. In March alone it had been recorded for 914 visitors. WTF! That is amazing! If I could Snog you all I would shag your brains out! (lol, not really… that would be weird… and I don't think my boyfriend would approve :oP)

Anyway, not much Alucard-i-ness in this one. But it is an important chapter. I felt there needed to be break between Lizzy and her meetings with our favourite vamp otherwise I think she'd be driven mad by him and his level of creepy sexiness (lol).

Let me know what you think, please. All comments and thoughts are welcome.

Enjoy :0)

Chapter 34

-x-x-x-x-

The light sound of birds chirping outside the window was the first thing that brought me to consciousness and from the world of dreams. The warming beams of sunlight through the curtains soon registered in my mind and then finally the crisp coolness of something soft beneath my cheek. I opened my eyes and gazed dreamily about the cream coloured room to gather myself. It was morning already and I still felt drowsy, sleepy, as though I could easily snuggle further into the sheets and doze off into slumber again.

However I didn't. I blinked a few times and lifted a hand to my face to rub at the sleep crusting in the corners of my eyes. I yawned, rolled over and stretched. I then slowly opened my eyes to stare at the white ceiling, the memories of yesterday evening surging into my memories fresh and clear like the rain of spring.

The dinner party. It had all gone according to plan, well most of it; The Queen of England had come and gone unscathed and on a positive thread with the Hellsing organisation. The knights had dined with us and allowed us the opportunity to show them our gracious hospitality. We had made new friends and allies in our numerous guests. Some of them had chatted amongst us, open and friendly. Whilst others had been the silent and observing type, but nonetheless enjoying the evening with the various foods being served and music being played. One knight in particular, Forsyth, kept popping into my mind and making me smile of how friendly and overall cheerful he was. I began to silently wish that all of the guests had been more like him; it would have made the evening and all future conflicts a lot simpler and easier to deal with.

However, things were not always as simple as that. There were also those who had come with only the need to ruin and destroy everything everyone had work so hard to accomplish. Marcus. His name was like a stain upon my tongue as I murmured it to myself. My smile fell and I sighed to myself as I remembered him. I could swear he was a demon soul reincarnated as human. He had been rude to not only me but to Stephan and Sir Integra too. He had been pushy, manipulative and cruel. I sighed again and lifted a hand to my shoulders; they were still slightly tender to the touch. The knight's shove during their dance session had taken its toll. He may have been a thin and gangly looking man but Marcus was not weak. He had a strength in him that caused me to shudder. I could now feel and see the light bruising forming on the curve of my right shoulder, it was a pale yellow in colour, hardly noticeable against my skin colour however I felt it every time that I moved over in bed or touched it. It was a reminder of the threat he posed and of the danger he could be should I ever cross his path again.

But Marcus's threatening behaviour hadn't lasted long, I thought to myself suddenly, on the verge between smiling wickedly to myself and shivering with uncertainty. I wiggled and lowered myself further into the covers until they fell over the bottom of my face, the edge tickling the bottom of my nose. My brows furrowed deeply as I remembered something.

Alucard had been there. The thought crossed my mind like a flash of silken heat. I felt something in my chest tighten and my heart leapt at the thought of him. He had been there when Marcus had pushed me; his attack almost sending me flying into the queens table. The vampire has stepped forward and stopped me from embarrassing myself and potentially ruining to entire evening for everyone. He had then terrified the knight, threatening him a way that only the two males could see and understand. Just remembering the knights red face and frantic scramble for air made my own lungs seize with unease at how close the human had come to being strangled to death, during the party, in front of the Queen her very self. I was only glad that Alucard had released him and allowed him to run and hide like a little rodent that he really was. Everything was soon forgotten about and the evening began to relax once again into nothing but serenity and peace… well, at least for some.

As though suddenly feeling smothered by the quilt I lifted my hands and brought the fabric down to the top of my waist. My hand unconsciously lifted up and two fingertips rubbed against the soreness there. This was not a bruise. I knew it for sure. The area was small but tender, sore to the touch. I knew without having to look that there would be a slight redness there like last night, but from what I could feel with my fingers there was no visible wound or cut to the flesh; only a slight indention, almost like a scar, a mark of some sort.

I felt my cheeks warm. Hotness flooded my face and seemed to spread lowered down my body to the very tips of my toes. It wasn't the fact the mark was there that caused me to become so unsettled, but rather how it had gotten their in the first place. I was remembering it vividly, like a wild dream replaying itself over and over in my mind. And I was reliving it. Every touch. Every word. Every whisper of hair and skin.

"Do not fight me."

"Why? Why are you doing this?"

" Haaaa." It was breathed, icy and deliberate against the quickening of my pulse. I could not move my head from his grip so I could not see his face but I knew without having to look that he was smiling.

I bit my lip. My body surged suddenly, heating just at the memory of it. My neck, I brushed it gently with my fingers, tingled as though I could still feel him there; that I could still feel Alucard's cool lips brushing, teasing the skin. His tongue, rough and long, drawing long drags down the…

Stop! I mentally shouted to myself, my eyes shutting tight as I tried to get a firm grip of my wandering and betraying thoughts. This was wrong. I felt it, deep and raw, inside the pit of my stomach. What I was feeling was wrong; these feelings, this odd alluring heat was wrong. I felt utterly ashamed of them and myself.

I shot up from the bed, the movement so quick and sharp that the sudden rush of blood to my upright head caused light speckles to float into my vision. Without even looking at the mirror above the dressing table I stepped quickly into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The temperature meter reading – cold. I stripped off my pyjamas and stepped under the streaming water. I hissed as the icy rivulets ran down my warm body, cooling it almost to the point of losing my breath. After scrubbing furiously with shower gel and a flannel I hopped out again and wrapped myself in a large white towel.

I paused and glance to the side, my dark eyes meeting themselves in the steamed mirror of the cabinet above the porcelain sink. I looked pale. My hair, dark and wet, clung to my head making me look small, like a drowned rat. The mark, my eyes fell on it, looked raw and red like the mark left over by an insect bite, or a spot… or a lover?

I looked away quickly at the thought, my cheeks warming for the umpteenth time this morning. Good god, what was wrong with me? I was behaving like an idiot. It was just a mark from where the vampire had cut me, nothing more. It meant nothing.

Yet something deep inside my mind didn't add up. This wasn't the first time that Alucard had done this to me. So why was there a mark this time?

I groaned quietly to myself, my emotions rising and jumbling all at once.

I moved out of the bathroom, allowing the steam to exit and billow in wisps through the now open doorway. With a speed unknown to myself, I quickly dressed into my training uniform which consisted of a pair of combat trousers, a polo neck t-shirt and some boots. All of them were the same off yellow colour and were bearing the emblem of the Hellsing family name. Even though it was still wet, I pulled my hair up into a loose braid and pinned any stray short locks back. While I was rustling around the top draw for the pins my eyes caught sight of an old scarf I had brought with me from home. It had been my adoptive mothers – Stella. I had brought it simply to remind me of her, but now that I looked at it and then at myself in the mirror, I had a purpose for it. It was a light cream colour with white and black butterflies on it; not too detailed and obvious. Without thinking twice I pulled it out and wrapped it around my throat and tied it accordingly. I felt myself smiling slightly as I looked and saw that it fitted nicely around my neck and didn't look too odd with my uniform. But it also covered the mark, which is what I had wanted.

Nodding to myself determinedly I took a deep cleansing breath and headed out of the door, intending to arrive early for training with Stephan.

My footsteps, even in boots, were light and soundless as I weaved this way and that around the various corridors of the Hellsing Manor. I was so accustomed and used to them by now that I did not have to look or pay attention to where I was going to 'know' where I was going. It was all becoming second nature to me. I knew it so well.

I felt myself smiling as the sun beat down on me through the various wide and tall windows that I passed. Outside looked so fresh and appealing that for once I was looking forward to sweating and working my guts out in the training hall. I needed this, this form of release. I needed to vent out my frustration and emotions, lest they betray me and get me into more trouble.

As I plodded on down the main staircase I came to a halt as I heard the sound of cutlery clattering and fine china grinding together. Taking a quick glance to main door that would lead me to the training yard I stepped away and headed towards the dining hall where the sounds were coming from. I poked my head around the doorway and smiled when I saw William bent over, a small column of plates piled effortlessly on the crook of his arm as he stepped around the large dining table and collected each from the placements. He was obviously cleaning up from last evening's merry making. Sir Integra, before turning in last night, had instructed for the mess to remain as it was until morning. Now William and a few other remaining man servants were jostling about the room trying to tidy it up and clean everything away before it was time to serve breakfast.

Slowly, I walked up behind the tall but elderly butler and spoke to him softly, so as not to make him jump, "Morning William."

The finely suited male turned slightly to look over his shoulder, the row of plates on his arm neither swaying or moving at the motion. His light eyes fell on me and a large warm smile suddenly spread across the thinness of his lips.

" Ah!" It exclaimed suddenly, cheerfully, " Good Morning Miss Elizabeth." He turned back to his task at hand, " You are up early today." He picked up the final plate and turned to me, " Would you like some tea?" His gaze wandered over to the side board beside the door, its counter top covered with various breads, fruits, cereals and hot food from bacon, egg, beans and sausages. " I can serve you some breakfast if you would like?"

"Oh, no." I proclaimed suddenly, shaking my head at him. He was obviously busy and I did not want to trouble him, " It's fine, really. I'm not overly hungry."

Nodding in understanding William put the plates on the tray beside him, ready for carting back to the kitchen. He then turned to the now empty table and began to pull the sheet free off its top, his hands nimble and confident as he began to fold it carefully.

" Here," I piped up suddenly, smiling at him. I stepped forward and grabbed at a corner, " let me help you with that."

William smiled back at me, "Why thank you." His voice was crisp and refined like that of a true British gentleman.

A comfortable silence took a hold of us as we began to mirror each other, folding the long table cloth gently, precisely in sync like a partnered dance.

" It seems last night turned out very well indeed," William piped up suddenly, his eyes looking around, pride and serenity in the very depths of them, " Everything happened to fall in our favour." He turned to me again and asked, " Do you not think so?"

Realising he was waiting for an answer from me I started, "Oh, Yes," I nodded, " Of course." I gathered my corners of the cloth and met him half way so that it became folded neatly in half. I then grabbed lower for another set of corners to start again, " But…" I spoke, a little unsure, "what of her majesty? What did she think?"

I looked at him, waiting for an answer. I could see from his face that he was thinking but his features were soft and calm which gave me a good indication as to how it had gone with the Queen.

" From what I am aware of she has been informed of our circumstances," He spoke calmly, reassuringly before adding directly to me, ".. and yours." He smiled at me lightly, " She is neither happy nor dissatisfied with what is happening. She simply stated yesterday that she trusts Sir Hellsing's Judgement on the matter and trusts her to act accordingly for the good will of the organisation and her country." He shrugged nonchalantly and then paused as though thinking solemnly to himself before saying aloud, " She is a very patient and understanding matriarch."

I frowned to myself, thinking exactly the same thing, " Yes she is." I said to William and I saw his light eyes rise up to me, the question behind them evident and bright in the chandeliers light. His look spoke to me and said 'Oh? How do you know?', so without waiting I added quickly, "I met her for a small moment at the party." I paused again, trying to find the words before stating quietly, " She seemed very… wise."

A little too wise, I thought to myself suddenly. My unease returned as I remembered what she had said to me at the party. It was as though she had known of what had happened between Alucard and me. It was as though she had expected it and knew it would happen.

"Unlike most," Williams voice broke me from my reverie and I snapped out of it and looked up to him, " she pays very close attention to the small details in life," then as though as an afterthought he added, "… the important parts."

I swallowed, nervously, " Important parts?"

I felt myself becoming warm, anxious, a bead of sweat forming at my brow in the sudden heat. Did she know? Did the Queen know more than she let on? I sincerely hope she did not. The very thought almost sent me into a mindless panic.

William merely nodded, watching me almost carefully, "Everything that happens around us has a purpose," He gave me a pointed look, "… a reasoning behind it." He turned away to place the folded sheet upon the trolley with the rest of the collected pieces, " You just have to look for it." he continued, " For instance, we use our most expensive china set to show our pride and devotion to the Queen." He gestured to the trolley without looking back at me, his back straight and proud, " We also order only the finest foods; only the most succulent of meats and ripest of fruits to show our guests our humble gratitude."

William finally turned to me again, my eyes clashing with his pale ones. His seemed cool, assessing and full of some kind of wisdom, " You see." He stated simply, as though explaining to a child, " Everything we do, Miss Elizabeth, has a meaning to it."

Then he said something that set me on edge.

" Just like that scarf you are wearing around your neck."

I froze, a strange coldness creeping up my neck. My hand instinctively rose to my scarf and the mark it covered, almost protectively. I quickly met his eyes again with my wide, confused ones.

" W…what?" I practically stammered, my voice a small whisper of a sound.

I saw the thin line of Williams mouth creep up slowly, like a mischievous child who knew too much for its own good, " In all the time that you have been here, Miss Elizabeth," he started to explain pointing gently to my attire, " I do not think I have ever seen you wear such an accessory."

I felt myself panicking silently with myself. The scarf had been a means of covering up the mark on my throat, however I had not thought that maybe people would notice it, or maybe even think it strange that I should wear one. Was it really so strange? I felt my fingers play with the folds of its silken softness. The way that William eyes kept flashing to it told me that he knew something, and the thought frightened me.

Trying to play the innocent I simply shrugged and lowered my hand to my side, " I don't know what you're talking about."

I turned to the side, as though trying to hide from his view even as his gaze followed me. I started fiddling, stacking the various plates on the trolley in size order. I needed to something to do, something to occupy my awkward hands with. They were beginning to tremble.

" Do you not think it is a little too hot to be wearing it?" It came out from my companion in a measured and slow manner. It put me on edge.

I blew softly, trying to cool my suddenly warm face and to blow a stray lock of dark hair from in front of my nose. I turned to him sharply and prepared to give him my excuse; to tell him to mind his own business or to tell him he was making things out of nothing. However the moment my vision fell on his knowing elderly features I was stumped for words. I couldn't find the words to speak to him.

I began to panic.

He knows! He knows about what happened yesterday! But how?

" Very well." William broke through my silence, " I will not push you to tell me. It can remain your dirty little secret." I bit my lip gently as he stepped closer to me, his frame though thin and aged stood over me easily by nearly a head, " Allow me to just say something to you Miss Elizabeth." He smiled warmly and placed a hand on my shoulder. I flinched at the unexpected contact.

He knew! He knew about what had happened with Alucard. Yet, then why did he seem so happy about it?

Still running it over and over in mind William continued, " I am here if you should ever need to chat or talk to me about anything." The word 'anything' was emphasised on, his head falling forward as he peered at me in a fatherly fashion from beneath his brows, " I will never judge you or speak to another person about what you tell me." He chuckled suddenly, much to my further confusion and lowered his hand, " Honestly, I understand more than you know Miss Elizabeth."

He did? It came instantly to my mind, all the more confusing. Each passing second that ticked by I felt my own brow furrowing.

"You…" I started, unable to speak, my mouth momentarily thick and dry, " You do?"

The utter calmness and acceptance of his features was more worrying than any rage or disappointment he could have thrown at me. I had half expected him to become protective, even enraged at the fact Alucard had taken blood from me. Yet, low and behold, he was acting like it was an everyday occurrence.

" But of course." William replied, his tone light and cheerful, " I have been there myself, once upon a time."

I frowned further even as a spurt of laughter bubbled up my throat. He's been there?... What the hell was he talking about?

Without waiting to give me the chance to question his sanity he continued to speak, " It is only natural that you would want to become close with him. You and Adam are…"

" Woah! Hang on!" It came out louder and sharper than I intended. My hand rushed up in a violent motion to halt him in his speech.

"Adam?" I questioned, to him and to myself, disbelief and relief obvious like the grin on my face. I laughed suddenly, the sound echoing about the dining hall.

"Why yes," William answered, startled by my outburst," of course Adam." His brow crooked questioningly, " You do like him do you not?" Too busy still giggling I felt myself nodding before I could stop myself. William winked at me playfully, " And he likes you, I can see it. You do not have to be embarrassed about this. Having a mark of love is a very intimate gesture that…"

I coughed loudly, strangling on the laughter and outburst that came all at once.

"William, please stop!" My eyes closed tightly, I silently prayed that god would give me mercy and stop this awkward conversation quickly. It was almost painful to bear. William had it all wrong. " I wasn't…" I stuttered, " This wasn't…" I sighed, getting frustrated with myself, " It isn't…"

As though piecing the information together for himself William murmured to me, "You mean to say, Adam did not give you…" He pointed to my scarf.

"No!" I all but cried to him, my cheeks fusing hotly at what he was insinuating, " Absolutely not! Adam isn't like that. It's not even a…" I paused, swallowing heavily, " 'mark of love' as you put it."

"It is not?"

I shook my head and lowered it wanting to hide as Williams gaze became more calculating, his eyes delving deep into me as though seeking answers.

"Then what is it?" He took a slow step towards me, concern apparent on his face, " Are you hurt?"

Oops, I should have said yes to the 'mark of love' theory…

"It's nothing." I said, easily.

" May I see?" William reached forward…

"No." I moved back a step, my hand guarding the piece of fabric protectively from him.

My companion froze, his hand still hovering close as he tilted his head at me, a frown burrowing on his grey streaked brows, "What are you hiding?" It came out questioning and also filled with suspicion.

"Nothing." I answered tersely and turned towards the hall doorway, " You know what? I think it's time for my training session." I couldn't meet his gaze, it burned through me, prodding and intrusive on my nerves, " I'm just going to get going, you know what Stephan is like if I'm late."

I took a step away, intending to walk towards the door and leave. I wanted nothing more than to get out of the room and away from William. I needed to breathe. For once, since being at Hellsing, I felt uncomfortable being with him. He was my dear friend and I trusted him more than anything. Yet at the same time he was too close to the truth, to knowing what was going on when I was alone with the Hellsing vampire.

" Miss Elizabeth," A hand took hold of mine and stopped me in my steps. I paused and glanced back at him now standing close and holding my hand in his sleek gloved one, " I am your butler," he said firmly but gently," but above all else I am your friend. Please," He begged softly, " Tell me. Why do you look like a frightened doe about to fly away any moment?"

I paused quietly for moment, contemplating. I wanted nothing more than to tell him, to share my problems with him, to let him know. But at the same time I was dreading to know how he would react. I had been mistaken in thinking he knew about the mark. Now I felt trapped, as though in a tight space with nowhere to go but forwards.

"I…" I started, but he cut me up quickly with…

"Did Alucard do…?"

Before I could stop myself I placed a hand quickly to his lips, making him jump and stare at me with astonishment,"Shh!" I whispered to him fiercely, glancing around the room as though the devil himself would appear at the mention of his name, "William, don't, he will hear you!"

The last thing I wanted to do was draw the vampire here to us. After what had happened last night I did not think I could I ever look at that hauntingly handsome face again without remembering every detail of it.

Without further much to do I removed my hand from his face and pulled at the scarf around my neck. I twisted and tugged it free and slid it from around my throat. Williams's eyes slowly lowered down past my face and fell on the mark on my skin, his eyes widening in concern as he gazed at it.

"Is that a burn?" He reached out and touched around the tender spot carefully in an almost medical manner, " Or a cut perhaps?"

"It's fine," I reassured him quietly, " it is healing."

"Did…" at my look he quietened his voice also and chose his words carefully, " Did he do this to you Miss Elizabeth?"

There was no need to ask who this he William was referring to was. I felt a lump form in my throat and my body tensed with anxious emotions. I felt torn between revealing all and making up an excuse or reason behind it. But no matter how hard I tried to think of one I could not think of a reason behind the vampire's actions.

I nodded slowly to William's question.

"When?"

"Last night," I whispered with a sigh; it felt like a heavy weight had suddenly been lifted from my shoulders. I lifted a hand and ran it across my hair, trying to push away the stray locks and to calm myself, " …at the party." I finished.

"He attacked you?" I heard William's tone darken suddenly and silently realised that I had set a series of events off simply by telling him my secret.

"N.. No." my voice quivered, unable to stop itself, " He… drank from me."

"He did what?" I flinched at the blatant fury behind his words, " This is unacceptable behaviour, even from him, we must tell Sir Hellsing…" He turned sharply, intending to leave the room and seek the leader of Hellsing out immediately.

"Wait!" I grabbed his arm quickly, desperately, " No!" I pleaded.

"But you must!" He looked at me incredulously as though I had just grown horns and formed cloven feet, "This is very important, he has caused you bodily harm. He has hurt you!"

"No," I shook my head, silently berating myself for getting into this situation. If only I had kept my mouth shut. "He hasn't." I tried to explain, " I… It didn't hurt. Well, it did, at first."

"I do not understand."

I shrugged, unsure of what to say, "He cuts me and then… drinks the blood." It sounded ridiculous even to my own ears. " It hurts at first but then…" I growled gently in frustration at myself and looked to William with exasperation, " Oh, I don't know! Then it doesn't! William…" I stepped towards him and took hold of one of his hands with two of mine, my eyes pleading, begging, " I told you because you said I could trust you not to tell anybody. So please, don't tell Sir Integra."

The butler looked grave, disbelieving and filled with a gentle fury. How would Sir Integra react if he told her? I could not dare to think about it. And Alucard. I shivered suddenly at the thought. What would he do? I tasted the foul essence of fear on my tongue. I tightened my hand on William's as though trying to anchor myself, both physically and mentally.

"Miss Elizabeth," William started and I glanced up at him just as he squeezed my hand back in return, " We are here to look after you and to protect you. Aluca-…" He paused, swallowed, and then reformed his words again, " that individual knows the rules of this household." He shook his dark haired head in an almost helpless manner, " We knew when you first came here that he would show you some form of attention but we did not expect him to become so... physical. It cannot go ignored!" His own voice took on a note of pleading, " He has done this once already, what if he was to try again? Can you not see the problems it would cause, both here and…!"

I fell silent, still, numb. I didn't know what to say to him. My face fell into what I could only assume was a solemn and troubled look. William saw it as he watched me, his eyes glimmering slightly and widening as he began to realise the true depth and understanding of the situation at hand.

"He…" William drawled it out slowly, as though finally piecing it all together, "… has done this more than once, hasn't he?"

There it was. Another truth I had yet to reveal to him.

I felt trapped. My emotions ran high with anxiety and uneasiness. My stomach felt tight, coiling around itself with distress. My throat felt constrained like it was swollen, caving in on itself.

There was nothing I could possibly say to him; him, William, both my friend and butler.

I could only nod to him, strands of dark hair falling forward as I lowered my head in shame. I felt like a small child who had just been caught with her hands in the cookie jar.

"When?" It was queried, soft and reassuring.

I shrugged, "Only once, it was a while ago. We were in the basement and he…"

"In the basement?" William cut in quickly again, " What on earth were you doing down there? You know you should not be down there!"

Williams look was not one of scolding and anger, instead it was that of utter dread. His face was pale and his lips turned in thinly. Before I could stop him he started to pace slowly in front of me, pausing every now and then to murmur something either to me or to himself. I'd never seen him like this before. William had always been so calm and collected, as a man of his position should be. Instead now he looked wrought with worry, his face was expressive and told me things his words couldn't. I did not need to be a genius to know that this situation, between Alucard and I, was dangerous. Too dangerous. More dangerous than I had originally thought.

" It was an accident. I'm sorry, it was a mistake." I reached out tentatively with my hand and placed it on his elbow, stilling his steps, " It won't happen again," I said to him quietly, my heart swelling with admiration for his concern for me. I wanted nothing more than to put his mind at ease however nothing could stop the heavy weight of apprehension from coiling its way into my gut. It twisted and spun itself so tight, like snake strangling its prey into trembling submission.

William looked at me, not just 'looked' but delved into me with his eyes. They were a cool colour but even in their icy depths I could see a warmth in them, "Can you be sure of that Miss Elizabeth?" He shook his head at me in answer before I could reply to him, "Can you be absolutely positive that he will never touch you again?"

I fell quiet. I wanted nothing more than to say 'Yes, I'm sure it won't happen again', but then I thought of Alucard. For some strange reason the vampires searing crimson eyes came to my mind. His fluttering midnight hair, like soft feathers in a wind. His pointed features; both cruel and sensuous all at once. His smile. I could almost imagine him smiling now. I almost wondered if he was watching us this very minute, grinning at how pathetic I was that I had told William everything. Well, maybe not everything; I did leave out the part about going out to the fair that night – hence the reason I was in the basement to begin with. However, I could imagine his reaction to all this happening. Even if William did know, what could he possibly do against the vampire? Even if William was to go to Sir Integra and tell her, what could she do about it? What would she do about it? Would she ignore it? Would she lock Alucard away forever and never let him out except for going out on missions? And then another depressing thought came to mind: Would she send me away? Or even worse, would she lock me away and never let Adam and Jade visit me again?

The sudden thought of Sir Integra learning about all of this almost sent me into a mindless panic.

"Please, don't tell Integra." It came out quick and breathless and it wasn't until I looked up into Williams face did I realise I had tears swimming at the corners of my vision.

The butler looked dubious; I could see and feel the negativity coming off of him like a thrumming vibe. Yet even as he began to shake his head 'no' at me I began to speak -

"I will tell her," I lied, easily, looking at him dead into his eyes, " When I'm ready to tell her and in my own time?" It was supposed to be a statement of a fact, but it came out more like a question. Like a request for silence from him as long as I kept to my word.

For a moment he just looked at me. The air became stifled and drawn out like a tiny endless thread of thin string, on the brink of snapping. I realised I was holding my breath. I was waiting for him to say it, to give me that small slice of peace I needed to try and make things right. For him and for myself.

" Very well." He murmured finally, although I could see he did not agree with it and was unhappy with his own decision.

I felt the breath rush from my lungs and out of my mouth in a sudden whoosh. My shoulders slumped with relief at his words.

" You promise?" I enquired, hopeful. Wanting his word.

When he did not answer straight away I prodded further, "Promise?"

Again the silence stretched out and I could see the silent battle within my friend's aged and wise eyes.

William nodded.

"I promise." His voice turned low, unofficial and filled with uncertainty, " But please, Miss Elizabeth, tell her soon."

I nodded automatically and felt terrible straight after. I was lying to him! William. My friend. I felt my gut twisting painfully, deceitfully. I was feeling so guilty I could not even manage a smile even though William had just promised to give me the one thing I needed from him – his silence.

Williams own shoulders slumped with defeat and for once I could actually see the power of old age in his bent and gangly frame. He lowered his gaze from me, his visage portraying the disappointment he was feeling. At me? Or for me? Or at himself? I didn't know.

Without so much as a word he turned away from me and wrapped his hands about the handle of the trolley, his fingers so tight that his knuckles turned white under the strain.

" Please, tell her soon," He murmured to me, not even bothering to look up at me as he began to wheel the trolley away from me and towards the double arched doorway leading to the servant halls and the kitchen.

I watched him go and it wasn't until he reached the doorway, about to pass through it did he turn back and look at me one more time. His words, thick and full of emotion, warmed and frightened me all at once. I knew they would stay with me forever -

" If not for my sake then for your own," He gave me a small sad smile, " I would hate to see him ruin you like he has so many others."

And then he was gone. I was so numb and frozen into position I did not even hear him step away and out of sight. The only sign that he had was of the light squeaking of the trolley wheels as he pushed it down the empty corridor.

I was stumped into silence. I was simply standing there watching the now empty doorway, replaying those words over and over in my head. I felt my chest constrict, my blood ran chillingly through my veins and caused the hackles on the back of my neck to rise up.

I had made a mistake. This had all been such a grave mistake.

I had told William about the problem with Alucard to simply try and help the situation. I had wanted to put William at ease. I had also wanted to tell someone about it, to confide in someone. William was right, there was no telling when the vampire Alucard would try and do the same again. I felt it was important that someone, at least one person should know, just in case things got out of hand. Just in case Alucard took it to another level and did something drastic. So far he had blackmailed me into given him my blood, and then he had taken it without permission or reason. What would be next? How far would he go with this? How far would 'I' allow him to go?

Just thinking about it made me shiver and shallow heavily at a lump in my throat.

Despite having the problem out in the open and off my chest I had the very distinct feeling that I had only worsened things for myself.

I glanced down at the scarf in my hand and carefully put it around my neck again; my hand brushing the tender flesh as I did so. It stung at the contact and then gently flared into life, the flame slowly spreading for the merest of seconds down my body. And I began to remember…

My chest began to burn urgently. Something throbbed. Something churned. Something tightened. With each slow trail the vampires tongue made I felt my body moving on its own accord, rocking, arching, undulating. I began to rub against him, seeking some kind of relief, needing some kind of end to the soul shattering shards of pleasure that jolted through me. I felt every nerve in my body react to him, tingling and thrumming with a heady intensity. Something coiled deep inside of me, building deeper and higher with each torturous stroke of his tongue.

I sniffed and shook my head to myself solemnly. I felt so confused, so trapped and suddenly cornered from all sides like a wild bird caught in a small net. I wanted nothing more than to run back upstairs and hide forever under my quilt. I wanted nothing more than to curl up and cry in frustration.

Another memory sprang to life…

"Want a piece of advice?" Jonas said calmly, leaning forward to almost whisper to me, "I say give up while you ahead"… "I mean look at you"… "You're too little".

"No!" I said it loudly to myself.

I lifted my chin and squared my shoulders and headed out into the corridor. My destination was the training yard where I knew Stephan, Seras and the others were waiting for me to arrive. I wanted, no 'needed' to vent out some of my emotions by doing something physical. I no longer wanted to be weak and relying on others. I wanted to be strong.

I only hoped that William would keep his word in not telling Sir Integra about Alucard.

I only hoped that, in time, I could find the courage to tell her myself.

I only hoped that, in the meantime, I could find a way to keep Alucard at bay.

I only hoped that he would grow bored of playing his games with me and would leave me alone.

Maybe then I would stop thinking about him so much.

Maybe then the burning would stop.