Chapter 36

Monday

7:42 PM

Brennan pulled on a pair of blue and white striped pajama pants and looked at herself in the mirror. The T-Shirt and pants she was wearing covered most of the remaining marks that Collin Brown had left on her, but it wasn't the marks she was worried about. She was worried about whether or not she was wearing the right thing. Brennan rarely cared what she looked like, but she was about to go into unchartered territory. She had blatantly asked Booth to spend the night and she wasn't sure even she knew what it meant. She had a vision of herself falling asleep in his arms like she had done that night in the hospital, but she knew logically, he would probably stay on the couch while she slept in her bed. After all, they were only partners.

Brennan looked over at her bureau, wondering if she should change back into regular clothes. She didn't know if being in her pajamas would send the wrong kind of message. Her thoughts were cut short when she heard a knocking at her door. Brennan's heart jumped as she walked out of the bedroom. She stood in the middle of her living room, not moving. She still didn't know what she was doing. Was she wrong to have asked him to stay? Would it be the beginning of something new?

"Bones?" She heard him call out.

Hearing his voice made Brennan start moving again. She walked to the door and opened it. Booth was standing at the door in Jeans and a plain, black T-Shirt. He had a bag of takeout in one hand and duffle bag in the other. Brennan's mouth went dry. She was completely taken by him.

"Can I come in?" Booth asked.

"Of course."

Brennan stepped aside and Booth walked into her apartment. He put the takeout down on the dining room table and set his duffle bag down next to the couch.

"You look relaxed," Booth commented.

"I've been working on my book."

"That's good. I just hope you haven't been typing too much. You know what Dr. London said about typing."

"Did you memorize everything Dr. London said?" Brennan asked.

"Since I knew you'd want to break every one of his rules, yeah, I did."

"They weren't rules, Booth."

"You're right. They were restrictions and you seem hell bent on not listening to any of them."

"I haven't consumed any alcohol since I got home. That was one of his restrictions."

"I'm very proud of you, Bones."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Not at all," he replied, teasingly. Booth ripped open the plastic bag that had the takeout in it. He pulled out three Styrofoam containers.

"What did you get me?" Brennan asked.

"Your favorite."

Booth opened each of the containers and peeked inside. He put one in front of the chair he was standing in front of and one in front of the chair opposite him. The other stayed in the middle. Brennan walked into the kitchen and took a set of silverware for each of them out of her silverware drawer, two sprites from her refrigerator, and napkins from an overhead cabinet. She brought everything she had retrieved over to the table and put them down in front of the two chairs. They both sat down. Brennan put the napkin in her lap and opened up her container.

"Fettuccine Alfredo," she said, smiling.

"I told you I got your favorite." He lifted up the top off the container in the middle of the table. "And breadsticks."

"This looks amazing," Brennan commented.

"I got it from that new Italian place that's right down the street from the Hoover building." He stabbed some of his pasta with his fork and shoved it into his mouth. "Looks like this place is a keeper, Bones."

"And what did you get?"

"Penne in pink vodka sauce."

"Can I try?" Brennan took her fork and went to scoop up some food from his container, but he pulled it away.

"You have your own, Bones."

"Yes, but I'd like to try some of yours."

"Why?"

"Because I'd like to know if this place is a keeper or not. Not that I know what that means."

Booth laughed and slid his container closer to hers. She took a few pieces of penne on her fork and ate it.

"That's very good," she said.

"I told you."

Brennan focused back on her own food.

"So, did you and Casey find anything out from talking to the victim's daughter?"

"Uh-uh. No work talk at the dinner table."

"But we talk about work all the time over dinner."

"This is different."

"Why is this different?"

"Because it just is, Bones."

"You won't let me work and now you won't let me even talk about work? That seems highly unfair, Booth."

"You're recovering, Bones."

"It doesn't mean I'm an invalid."

"Ok, fine. I can't win with you." She smiled at him. "The victim's daughter didn't remember anything."

"Well, of course not, she was only four."

"But we did find out that a man named David Caster owed our victim a lot of money. With him dead, David didn't owe him the money anymore."

"Money is a good motive for murder."

"Yes it is. There's only one problem."

"What's that?"

"David Caster died of cancer twenty years ago. If he was our murderer, it's too late."

"Even if it was him, at least you can find out the truth. Give his daughter some peace."

"You're right, Bones."

She slurped a strand of fettuccine in her mouth. Booth smiled when he saw a smudge of Alfredo sauce on the side of her lips.

"Why are you smiling?" She asked.

"No reason," he replied, unable to stop smiling.

Booth slowly got out of his chair and made his way over to her. He knelt down beside her.

"Booth, what are you…"

He lifted his hand slowly so as not to scare her away. Using the pad of his thumb, he wiped the spot away. He knew he had two choices. He could wipe the sauce off his thumb with a napkin or he could take a chance. Booth chose to take a chance. He popped his thumb into his mouth and licked the sauce off of his finger. Brennan sat completely silently, gaping at him.

"You had a little sauce on your lips," he said. Just as quietly as he went up to her, Booth slinked back to his seat.

"Thank you," she stuttered. Her heart was racing.

"Don't mention it. So, you said you were working on your newest book?"

"Ah…yeah. My publisher has been nagging me for a new manuscript and, since you won't let me work, I figured this is the perfect time to start writing one."

"You're still taking it easy, though, right? I mean, writing a book still counts as working and you need to give your body time to rest and heal."

"Don't worry, Booth."

"I can't help but worry."

"I know." She paused, wondering if she was ready to talk about the whole reason she had asked him to stay. "Sweets and I talked about that."

"About me worrying?"

She nodded. "Yes. We also talked about how you have an alpha male personality."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No. Every society needs them. Alpha males have a very strong protective instinct. They want to defend what they think is rightfully theirs."

"That sounds about right."

"You want to protect me."

"Always."

"And I need to let you." She put down her fork, needing to completely concentrate on what she was about to tell him. "I'm afraid, Booth."

"Afraid of what?"

"I'm afraid that when I close my eyes, I'll see him. I'm afraid that I'm going to wake up and be back in that basement." He was kneeling in front of her in seconds. He held her hands as she spoke, reminding her that he was there. "And I'm afraid that when you find out that I am not compartmentalizing this, that I'm not strong enough to deal with this that you'll…you'll leave me."

"Oh, Bones." He ran his thumb back and forth over her knuckles. "Look at me, Bones. Look at me." She lifted her head up to meet his eyes. "That will never happen."

"You don't…you don't think I'm weak because I can't forget what happened?"

"Nothing about you is weak, Bones. You are the strongest person I know."

"It's not rational. Feeling the way I feel. I know he's gone, Booth. I know I'm safe and that he can't hurt me, but at night…when I'm alone at night, I just…it's like I forget that he's gone. I forget that he's gone and I'm scared. That's why I went to the Jeffersonian last night. I just needed to sleep. I needed to sleep and not think of him. I know it's not logical. I mean, I've seen the evidence that he's gone, but…"

"Some things aren't logical, Bones." He lifted his hand up and stroked her hair. "You have to let yourself feel."

"I don't know how."

"Yes, you do. Don't think. Just feel."

Booth stroked her cheek with his thumb. Their eyes were locked. They could see the tears swimming in each other's eyes. Booth knew what he had to do. He was telling Brennan that she had to do what she felt when he was the one not doing just that. Brennan parted her lips, ready to speak when Booth gently pressed his lips against hers. He held still, testing the waters. He could feel her stiffen, but then begin to melt. Her lips moved slightly against his and he realized that she was kissing him back.

He angled his head so he had better access to her. She tasted better than he remembered from that one moment under the mistletoe. She tasted sweet and spicy all rolled into one. His head was swimming with desire, but he knew he couldn't take it too far. She wasn't ready for that. Booth broke away, leaving both their lips tingling. He looked into her eyes, wondering what she was thinking. He needed to be sure that she wouldn't run. Unexpectedly, Brennan didn't look scared or angry. She looked surprised, but completely comfortable.

"Booth," she whispered breathlessly.

"Don't think. Just feel."

She connected their lips once again. It was a light kiss and lasted only seconds, but it said so much more. She had only kissed him once before on the dare from Caroline, but already his lips felt familiar. She felt comfortable kissing him. She felt safe.

"We're going to get through this together, Bones," Booth whispered. "Me and you. Just like always. And I promise you, I will never leave you."

Brennan wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. Sitting on the edge of her chair, she leaned on him as his arms encircled her waist. She rested her head on his shoulders as tears swarmed down her face, soaking his shirt. He stroked her hair and ran his hand down her back as she cried. He said her name over and over again, making quiet promises that everything was going to be alright.

As her tears began to subside, Booth securely put one arm around her back and the other underneath her knees. She let out a small gasp as he lifted her up. Thankfully he could tell it was a gasp of surprise and not pain. He moved with her carefully through her apartment and into her bedroom. She kept her head buried against his shoulder and her arms tightly around his neck. As he approached her bed, Booth slowly lowered her and laid her down on her side. He crawled over her and laid down beside her. She immediately backed up against him so her back was against his front. He rested his arm at her waist and she put her head on his other arm. He kissed the back of her neck as they settled together.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for everything."

"Sleep, Bones," he whispered against her ear. "You're safe. No more nightmares. No more fears. I'm here. And you're safe."

She fell asleep to the soothing sound of his voice.

Author's Note: Ok, so I hope everyone is happy with this chapter. I have to admit that this chapter was a little guilty pleasure of mine because I'm just a sucker for romance and for little moments like wiping food off someone's chin and carrying a person to bed. I just can't help it. Anyway, there's still quite a bit more to come so stay tuned!