Here we go guys. Another update. I finished it sooner than I thought I would. Now, there will be an epilogue and as of yet, I'm not entirely sure what it will consist of. You may hate me or you may love me. The ending will pretty much write itself.
I hope you like this anyway.
The entire time I was writing this chapter, I was listening to Rascal Flats' Why. I highly suggest it as a song to listen to while reading this.
Please Review.
Chapter 32
"I forgive you."
He stared at the dark mass that stood above him. Choppy black hair, pale visage, stormy eyes and he felt his heart struggle to pound harder, even as it was about to give out.
What was he doing here? How? It was impossible! He was dead! Wasn't he? Light killed him practically with his own two hands (with the help of a shinigami of course - Rem was so much more useful than Ryuk).
This just didn't make sense.
"Justice has been attained, Kira. Light Yagami…Light-kun, your death is not in vain. I promise."
What was this?
The shadow above him looked so decrepit, but those eyes seemed to say that they held a deeper understanding of the world than even Light himself could comprehend. This bothered Light, even as he lay sprawled out across those stairs, the last of his life leaving him as his chest constricted in an attempt to keep his heart pumping.
Honey brown eyes stared into grey and something sparked and then died as the dying man reached out to grasp a ghost with the last of his energy.
"Kira has died today. It is just unfortunate that you had to die as well, Light-kun. For the ill uses of your body and mind throughout the duration of this darkness - this corruption - I forgive you for everything."
Everything…?
The countless lives lost. The innocence that was destroyed? The loss of laughter? The loss of life? The loss of everything? He could be forgiven so damn easily? Light couldn't make sense of that. Was…was he really that merciful after all?
"Can you forgive me?"
Light's fingers feebly clasped around the thin, pale wrist and he squeezed. It was a simple action for a dying man who could have used the rest of his energy to attempt to survive. Instead, he used it, and it was minutes later that he was dead.
The words were unspoken in the air, hanging silently from his lips as though they were the gallows, but also the bridge to the impossible. For such a sickening and deathly silence, there was also a strand of hope that glowed much brighter than any halo.
"With all the death, there has also been Peace because of you."
Tears dripped from a pale face, slipping and splattering upon the face of a dead man who was also the victim in this tragedy.
After death comes Peace. Tranquility. Life.
Leila Lawliet cried, not for a murderer, but for a man who became corrupted by something so much bigger than himself. A man who had died long before L himself. A man whose death was likely slow and painful and unknown - more unknown than even L's.
…
She swore she could hear an inhuman cackling in the distance, but the scarred young girl was caught up in her mourning of Light Yagami - a man who had lived up to his name in many, many ways. After all, he was the man who had illuminated her life and made all the dark corners to which she had ventured slightly less terrifying. Whether he knew it or not, he had done something so tremendous - not one other would have been able to do it.
Leila Lawliet may not have been in love with Light Yagami, but that did not mean that she did not love him. After all, she loved him enough to forgive him. Even if no one else could understand. In her mind, at least, she could justify everything that had been done. Even though so many she knew had become involved, had been endangered, had died, she could still justify it and she could understand his path. Perhaps it was this understanding that made him so easy to forgive.
The details of the happenings were blurry in her mind if she was entirely honest. Leila could make an attempt to tell the story to Serenity and Jacob, but it would do no good. All she remembered were the bits and pieces - the violence and the tragedy and the closure.
It was a humbling, numbing experience and if she were entirely honest, the young woman was not entirely sure what to make of it. Life and death were things that should not be controlled - and in most cases, they could not be controlled. Her mind was buzzing and maybe she should have spent more time dwelling on the importance of what had just happened, but she couldn't.
Kira was dead, but so were a lot of people. His death brought no one back and it certainly did not help her to feel better. If anything, now it was more obvious to her that she had no real purpose. At least, if she did, it was not the most obvious of purposes.
"Lily…?"
Most were in honest shock, she recalled, when she stepped forth beside Light. The scars on her face and the tiny little smile she wore that wasn't entirely hers.
The changes that people go through in such a short amount of time is sometimes surprising. Adaptation to their circumstances - that must have been it.
The bits and pieces she could remember involved so much waiting - so little talking. So much staring. She had stood in so much silence, diligently by Light's side and her gaze was so fixated. She couldn't quite remember what she was staring at, but she knew she was the object of someone's gaze.
She never did look up to see who. Perhaps she should have, but now it didn't really matter.
What she could have done and what she should have done hardly would do anything to fix all of the world's happenings. All of the death and all of the agony.
There was nothing she could have done and that, perhaps, was what bothered her the most. She was there for the closure and for the end, but all she felt was empty and there was no one to tell her what to do anymore. The voice was gone - it had abandoned her. Just like everyone else she had come to love.
Even as she stood there, jacket tugged around her in an attempt to keep warm in the frigid winter wind. Snow fluttered down - the snowflakes large and fluffy and freckling her hair. The cemetery was oddly pretty in this light, in this weather. That thought wasn't lost on her, but the air of sorrow was still there and from the corner of her eye, Leila watched the funeral of a well-known pop star who had recently committed suicide.
"It's too bad, Miss Amane."
Her voice was quiet, breathy, and a little hoarse as it slipped through chapped lips. Stormy eyes fluttered closed and she bowed her head and there was just a mumble now. It was low and soft, but honest.
"But that is what love does. It causes one to lose all rationality. To act without a thought as to why you act."
Opening her eyes, they fell to the slab of cold stone before her. Reaching out, pale fingers brushed along the engraving and she sighed.
"It's over." She whispered.
"It's over, but at the same time it's not."
Her eyes flickered over the simple words and a dull smile slipped across her lips.
"I don't think it ever will be. Not for some. Not for us."
Gun shots echoed in her mind - and she shuddered. The sight of blood and the inhuman cackling was a brief memory she had that she wished she could reduce to a blur like the rest of that night.
She sighed and regained herself briefly, looking down and seeing the remains of a tattered stuffed animal before the stone and part of her longed, but she pushed it back and smiled instead.
"But that's okay. It's going to be okay."
Leila nodded, and reached her hand up, brushing it against the scars across her face. It was difficult to hide, but she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to hide it. It was best to have your scars out for everyone to see rather than suck them in and hide them where they could not be dealt with.
"Those of us who live can adapt. We will always remember…" She trailed off and her shoulders shook, an absent tear slipping from her face and to the snow covered ground.
"…I'm leaving tonight." She finally murmured.
"Matsuda-kun is coming with me. He's a very good manager."
Another smile.
"I'm going to continue with the music industry. There are many songs to be written about this. While I have changed, I have not changed enough to no long want to do what I do. I am not meant to do what you do, L…"
She took too many unnecessary risks. She grew too close. She could relate too much.
"I'm not you, after all."
Mello had intended to go talk to Peace immediately after the incident at the Yellow Box Warehouse. However, he had the image in his mind…the image of her cries. The image of her horror.
The gun had been fired six times.
"I'm going to kill that bastard! Like he killed his father!"
"Matsuda-kun! No!"
Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.
It was to the shock of everyone, really. How everything went down. The shots had been fired. Kira was losing and Peace was probably more scarred than all of them put together. That thought really angered Mello, but all the same, it was to be expected. This life filled with violence was not meant for her and she was never going to be the same.
Yet, all the same, it didn't change anything.
The image of her spinning and running after the bleeding murderer. Tears streamed from her eyes, and he could swear he could feel them burning against his own skin as well.
Why did she have to be so empathetic? Why did she have to fall in love with a murderer? Why did Peace have to be Peace?
Mello's gaze was numb as he stared at the chocolate bar between his fingers and in the corner of the little room, Matt was quiet and his hands were stuffed into his pockets. No game in sight and a cigarette hung from his lips unlit.
When they found her, she was a hysterical mess. She clung to the dead man as though he was everything and she sobbed. She held him as though he were human. As though she loved him more than anything despite everything he had put the world through. Despite him being the one who killed the one they looked up to the most.
"N- no, Light-kun…please don't…"
It took everything to separate them and Mello wouldn't admit it out loud, but a part of him burned with hatred that she cared more about a dead man who was nothing more than a murderer than she did for those who had been there with her through everything.
A part of Mello really hated Peace. He couldn't let her know that because she would find out if he went to speak with her any time soon.
However, now he regretted putting it off.
Because she was gone.
"What do you mean she's gone?"
The sheep had looked up at him so impassively, as though to him the little fact meant absolutely nothing. What Mello hated most about Near was this fact. He couldn't read him. He couldn't understand him.
"Peace and company left early this morning. They have left the country."
There was no telling when he would see her again. Or if he would. However, maybe that was for the best. Even though he hated to admit it - maybe it was for the best that they never saw each other again. She could cope better then. She could heal and she could forget.
Mello was not someone who could understand someone like her. She could understand so much and he could understand so little. He would not admit it - not even really to himself - but his comprehension of human empathy was something that he lacked. It was for this reason, even if he did not understand it, that he knew it was for the best that perhaps they never met each other again.
While he could now admit that he loved her (at least to himself), he could also admit that he was the worst possible person for her. She had been through enough as it was.
And thus, a decision was made.
"We're going back to L.A."
His hardened gaze dared Matt to argue with him and it wasn't surprising at all, really, when Matt did not. Matt and Mello apparently shared the same thoughts.
All that was left was Near. He was the only one who remained, surrounded by things and surrounded by technology and surrounded by no one.
Perhaps it wasn't entirely obvious, as Near was much a clean slate when it came to showing his emotions, but he did realise that he was always the one who was left on his own. To deal with things his own way - alone.
It was very much something he had come to accept. It didn't truly bother him to his understanding. However, he had come to like the company of other human beings. Even though it usually led to much more drama than he would have preferred.
Near was not sure what he would do with himself now that the Kira Case was officially over. He could continue with detective work. He could continue to challenge himself - or he could find entertainment in other ways.
He wasn't entirely sure which would suit him for the better. However, he was also fairly certain that he did not like this feeling of loneliness.
It finally dawned on him why Peace was so adamant about becoming a detective. While he was used to being alone, he could admit that he did not much like the feeling. For someone like her, this was not the right life.
However, this life was all that Near could see for himself now. It was what he was meant to be - as he doubted he could be much else with his social inadequacies.
Serenity and Jacob were not sure what to make of their Lily now. While it was true that throughout this ordeal, they had come closer together and they had reached a deeper understanding - she was still very much a mystery to them.
She would not tell the story behind her facial scar and she would not tell the story of what had happened at the Yellow Box Warehouse. She would not tell the true reason behind her bringing along this new man who was strangely jittery, but a comfort to see for some odd reason.
More or less, over all, Serenity and Jacob were left out of the loop of the true happenings and this man - Touta Matsuda, he had said his name was - really wasn't much of a help getting to the bottom of it. However, as much as they hated it, both could understand Lily's reasons behind it.
Something had happened in their separation. Something had happened and it had scarred her in more ways than the scar upon her face.
Somewhere along the line, they decided perhaps it was best that they did not know the truth.
It must've been in a place so dark you couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little hometown
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd
Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song
Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old
Roundin' third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage, you shined just like the sun
Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
And was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, oh, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song
Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that bad a place
Oh, why? There's no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong, they lied, and now you're gone, and we cried
'Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song, your absolutely beautiful song