Author's note: If you look at this chapter and see that you've read it before, please click back to chapter 31. When uploading chapters, I accidentally skipped a chapter. I reinserted it, and you will find things much clearer if you go back and read what happened! Sorry for the confusion.

When Lily awoke the next morning echoes of menacing nightmares plagued her. As she struggled to remember the origins of the dreams, the memories of the previous day flooded her mind.

First and foremost were Dumbledore's grave words, "she died fighting."

Stifling a weary yawn, Lily got out of bed and dressed quickly. She stepped out into the common room to find James waiting for her, his face showing a similar exhaustion.

"I thought we should go down together," he explained. "I'm sure Dumbledore will be making announcements at breakfast, and then we'll be assigned a task to complete."

"Wasn't it nice back when Dumbledore and the staff took care of everything for us?" Lily reminisced. "Sometimes I don't think I can handle the responsibility that they place on our shoulders. I feel as if I'm going to fail and let everyone down."

James smiled desolately and tugged at her hand gently. "Let's go down to the Great Hall," he urged.

Together they entered the Great Hall where students were half-heartedly eating breakfast. The usual din of students was muted and sounds of newspaper pages flipping rapidly rustled throughout the large room.

Once the room was full, Dumbledore rose from the staff table to begin his announcement. He solemnly read the short list of names of students who had been injured, fatally or otherwise, during the previous day's attack.

"Under the circumstances," he intoned severely, "Hogsmeade will be off limits to students until further notice. Students are not to leave the grounds without my permission at any time."

Some students began to protest indignantly, others simply nodded in shock.

"It is with great regret that I say that I believe such attacks will continue frequently. However, I do not want any student at Hogwarts to become indifferent as the death toll grows. Every time another innocent being is victimized, grow angry. Fight back."

Lily smiled waveringly at James. Perhaps that was what she needed to do; if she could channel her anger towards Voldemort and his followers into something productive, maybe she could become someone she was proud to be.

Remus and Alice suddenly appeared at her side. Alice's normally cheery round face was pale and Remus' gray eyes were heavy.

Lily stood up and hugged them both.

"What's happening to us?" Alice whispered in her ear as they clung to each other for a short moment.

"I don't know," Lily confessed. "I don't dare dwell on it, for fear of going crazy. I think we just have to keep going, keep trying to fight, like Dumbledore said."

"I'm scared of dying," Alice said as they separated.

"We all are," James interjected.

"That's why it's so important that we do fight," Lily urged. "Otherwise we're only condemning ourselves."

"We were on our way to visit Sirius. Are you up for it?" Remus asked. James and Lily agreed and the foursome made their way to the Hospital Wing.

"I don't know if I should let you all in here," Madam Pomfrey sighed as she guarded the door to the infirmary.

"We can only stay a short while," James argued smoothly. "It'll just be a moment."

"Is that James?" they could hear Sirius yelling from his bed. "Let him in!"

"He can't be hurt too badly," Lily remarked dryly. "I think they could hear him in the Great Hall!"

"Ten minutes," Pomfrey said sternly, her brows furrowed. Lily sent her a sympathetic look, knowing the nurse was probably overworked and worn out from a strenuous night of tending attack victims.

"Looking good," James greeted Sirius when they had gathered around his bed. Sirius did look well, considering he was in a hospital bed. His curly black hair was tousled and his pajamas were rumpled, but otherwise he showed little signs of injury.

"I had a little run in with my cousin, Bellatrix," Sirius explained cheekily, propping himself up on one elbow. "She thought she had me but I pulled a smooth one over her. She was still swearing revenge when she hit the ground."

"Is she dead?" Alice asked worriedly. It hadn't been long ago that Bellatrix Black had been a student at Hogwarts. It was hard to envision any Hogwarts student fatally attacking another.

"No," Sirius sighed. "I wasn't in top form at that time so I just stunned her. Ah well, there'll be other chances." He smiled and winked a big blue eye at his friends.

"So…are we your first visitors?" James asked uneasily. Sirius was too cheery to have heard the results of the battle.

"Yeah, why? Hey, where is everyone else?"

"Emmeline's sleeping," Alice answered, staring at the dark stone floor.

"And Marlene?" Sirius demanded suspiciously.

"She died," Lily said bluntly.

Sirius closed his eyes and sunk back into his pillow. "Oh," he intoned flatly, his eyes still tightly shut. "I see."

Lily swallowed painfully. The day wasn't getting any easier.

"Lily, James, the Headmaster's looking for you," Pomfrey called from her office.

"We have to leave, Padfoot. We'll be back later," James promised as he and Lily left the room. Sirius ignored them. Remus and Alice excused themselves so they could attend class, and then Sirius was alone.

Lily and James spent the rest of the day running errands for Dumbledore and attending to students' needs in the hospital wing. It wasn't difficult work, but it was tiring.

As they filed written accounts of the battle, James turned to Lily with a pensive look on his narrow face.

"Do you remember what time of year it is?"

Lily frowned. "Um…it's February, so…Valentine's Day?"

James nodded. "Remember last year?"

Lily closed her eyes in thought. Yes, she did remember last year – James had sent her roses, which she had cruelly disposed of, he had escorted Dorcas to the ball, but had kissed Lily for the first time out on the grounds.

"I remember," she said softly, the feel of his body pressed to hers still vivid in her mind.

"Things were different then, weren't they?"

"Completely." It was strange to think of it, which was why Lily rarely did. At one time they were like two parts of one whole, completely immersed in each other. Now they were simply friends, two separate entities.

They worked in silence, both lost in their own memories for a time.

"I think we should have another Valentine's party this year." Lily looked up at James, her expression curious.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"Because we can't stop living!" he exclaimed. "I don't want Hogwarts to curl into a little ball as if we were afraid of the world."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't want another formal ball. I want a real party. I'll explain it all to Dumbledore; I'm sure he'll let us do it."

"Us?" Lily quirked an eyebrow.

"Yep – you are the Head Girl, are you not?"

Lily smiled. "I'll help. I was just teasing you."

"You wanna go with me?" His voice was strong and cheerful, but his eyes glinted with uncertainty.

"You're presuming they let us have the party," she laughed nervously.

"They'll let us have it," he answered with quiet confidence.

Lily sighed. James continued rifling through the files, feigning indifference. His slightly rushed motions gave his true feelings away.

"I just don't know, James. You're pushing me."

"As friends? Just two people hanging out, like we always do."

Lily closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. She didn't want to hurt him, to ruin the friendship they had, but she couldn't say yes. It meant too much.

"Even if we go separately, we'd end up seeing each other anyway, Lily. It's what friends do."

"Then we'll all go together – me, you, Sirius, and Remus. But if they get dates, then we'll both do our own thing. Just don't ask me to say yes, James. I can't do it."

James looked away in a poor attempt to hide his hurt.

"Don't you see, this is what happens!" Lily cried in exasperation. "You bring this into the equation and everything gets messed up! Let's just keep things simple. No pain, no disappointment, just friends."

"I know. I'm sorry." He kept his head down, eyes fixed on the files.

Lily said nothing. What could one say after such an awkward moment? Instances such as these were prime examples of why girls shouldn't be friends with their ex-boyfriends.

Yet Lily wouldn't give up his friendship for anything. Sirius and Remus were the most supportive, understanding friends she had ever had, but James was special in an entirely different way.

Being with him made her feel alive. She could feel every moment, and at the same time anticipate the future. It was as if she were constantly suspended on the edge of something new and wonderful.

James himself was intelligent, talented, and effervescent. Dialogue flowed smoothly between them, no matter if they were discussing breakfast or the role of centaurs in the war.

A shadow darkened the box in front of her and Lily turned to see James standing over her.

"Closing time," he announced. "Dinner is being served."

Lily reached out a hand and he effortlessly pulled her to her feet.

"Thanks."

"No problem." He gave her a half-smile. His rumpled black hair had specks of white dust in it, and Lily moved to brush off the offending particles.

Falling back into what was once a constant habit, she mussed up his thick locks.

"Hey!" he yelped in surprise. Lily smirked, her lips twitching from suppressed laughter.

"Just couldn't resist," she proclaimed with a look of mock sorrow. Her dancing green eyes betrayed her otherwise solemn face.

James frowned fiercely, but couldn't hold the expression. The stern look melted into reminiscence.

"You ruthless twat," he sighed. He reached over and tugged lightly at one of Lily's own long red tresses. She grinned easily at him, and he couldn't resist smiling back. The awkward moment had passed, and they had fallen back into their usual comfortable routine.

Dinner was a sobering affair, as a brief memorial for the dead and wounded was conducted. Lily felt guilty for having laughed so lightheartedly. At the same time, her grief mechanism felt worn out, overused. Was it possible that the loss of an old friend was no longer enough to sadden her weary heart? It was only that morning that Dumbledore had warned against the very thing.

She expressed as much to James and Remus, who assured her she was not alone.

"It's happening to all of us," Remus said bitterly. "Death is just another story in the Daily Prophet."

Lily saw his saddened gray eyes and remembered another death story in the Daily Prophet not long ago. She slipped her hand across the wooden table to grasp his hand.

"Some people will never be forgotten," she promised softly. "I guess we just need to live on, even as we cling to the past."

James scowled. "If only someone could kill that bastard."

"Maybe someday you will," Lily suggested, poking at her mashed potatoes. They were light and fluffy with bits of herbs, but she had no appetite. It was peculiar how she had seemed to lack an appetite for the past year, for many various reasons.

"Or maybe you will," James countered, heartily eating his own meal. Apparently it took a lot to suppress his healthy appetite.

"Or maybe I'll just bite him," Remus muttered gloomily, taking a long drink of his pumpkin juice.

Lily and James burst into laughter. Remus looked up in surprise, setting his goblet down with a small splash.

"Can't you see it? Lord Voldemort howling at the moon?" James chortled. "It'd be the perfect revenge!"

Remus gave a half-hearted smile, mopping at the spilled juice. "Don't count on it. I doubt he'd taste very good."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "He'd probably tasted like troll dung."

"Who tastes like troll dung?" a startled voice asked. Lily turned to see Alice slipping into the seat next to her. Her long blonde hair was limp and her shoulders were slumped.

"Lily does," Remus replied quickly with a straight face. Lily's eyebrows shot up incredulously and Alice gave them both an odd look.

"And how does Remus know this?" she inquired suspiciously, her body relaxing a slight bit.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Please, everyone knows I bathe regularly. I taste like soap. Plain, white soap. Except when I use the bubble taps; then I taste like strawberries."

"Lick yourself often?" James asked innocently, his hazel eyes dancing merrily.

Lily turned bright red and jabbed her fork at him. "Damn you, James Potter! I don't taste like troll dung and I don't lick myself, though if I did, it'd be none of your business!"

"It'd sure be interesting though."

Alice shook her head, her pale blue eyes heavy.

"You," she said, looking at all three of them, "are strange. That's all there is to it."

"But lovable. We're very lovable," James insisted.

"Really? When did this develop?" Lily skeptically raised her eyebrows. He stuck his tongue out at her.

"Oh, and so mature, too," Lily nodded gravely. "I'm truly impressed."

Alice groaned. Remus snorted. Lily and James leered wickedly at each other, eyes crinkled in poorly disguised smiles.

Hey everyone! I know a lot of you were wondering when I was ever going to update...but there were unavoidable circumstances. Sorry. I hope you enjoy the new chapter anyway! Please review, because I love to hear from you! Until next time - Rochelle