Rewriting Fiction
KarmaHope
33: Friday, 12 May (1916)
12.10.2015

Note: All the thanks go to Apollo Child1512 and Counting Sinful Stars, who answered my desperate cry for help on tumblr when I was at a loss for how to begin writing this fic again. Without them, I might never have gotten back into the swing of Karmyn's story!

For all Karmyn had always believed learning alchemy would be fun, she could now attest to the otherwise. Learning alchemy was not all explosions and creating figures from the ground. Rather, it was hours of reading books in a foreign language until her eyes began to swim and her head started to ache. It was relearning the periodic table in that same foreign language, committing not only the names of the elements to memory, but also their properties and how they interacted with the other elements.

Karmyn realized there was a reason behind Izumi's rather violent teaching strategy. Being locked in a room with books all day would be tedious, and she knew from experience that her mind started to wander and skim over words when she read textbooks. By keeping her students active, Izumi kept them engaged.

It was something Karmyn would appreciate once her bruises faded, which probably wouldn't be any time soon.

'Oww,' she complained, rubbing her tailbone as she stood. 'You flipped me!'

Edward laughed as he stood over her. 'That was kind of the point, Kai! Come on, you can't complain too much – I was much gentler than Teacher would have been!'

Karmyn groaned. 'I suppose you are right,' she grumbled. Bouncing on her toes, she loosened her limbs and rolled her neck. 'Okay,' she said. 'Try again.'

Three days had passed since Winry's departure, and Karmyn had already thrown herself headlong into her alchemical studies. The first day had been spent memorizing the periodic table in Amestrian, then naming off the elements in order as she dodged attack after attack courtesy of Izumi. The woman had made it clear from the beginning that she wouldn't go easy on her new student, and she indeed lived up to her word.

But Karmyn had a couple aces up her sleeve that neither of the boys had when they started training with Izumi: for one thing, she had years' worth of gymnastics training; for another, she had two friends who had already been through the woman's training regimen.

Edward hadn't exactly been mopey that first day after Winry left, but his spirits had definitely been lower than she had seen in a while. After her first thorough ass-kicking by Izumi, she conscripted him into helping her train on the side. It would give her a leg up in physical training, although she hadn't actually seen any improvement yet, and it also kept Ed busy.

And laughing, which was a good thing.

Seconds later, Karmyn was on her back again. She cursed as she took the hand Ed offered to help her up. Years of gymnastics experience may have been beneficial, but it had not prepared her for contact combat in the slightest. She knew she could apply what she did know in ways that would help her, but she hadn't yet figured out how.

'I can't believe you gave Brother permission to beat you up like that,' Al said, looking up from where he sat on the grass a good distance away, his nose buried in an advanced alchemy book. 'We get enough of it from Teacher.'

Karmyn shrugged as she brushed dirt off her denim pants. 'I want to be better,' she said simply, rolling her shoulders. 'You know how it is.'

She would never be as good as either of the brothers, but she would strive for that level of achievement. Truth be told, she had been striving for that level of achievement for years. Her friends the Elrics aside, the fictional characters the Elrics had been her childhood heroes for years. She still remembered the bruises and the sprained knee from her attempts to imitate their acrobatics in her younger years.

She laughed aloud at the apparent irony of the situation, and both Ed and Al stared at her. She waved off their concerns, still chuckling. "It's just," she said, slipping into English, "years ago I gave myself bruises trying to be like my favorite fictional characters, and now I'm doing pretty much the exact same thing! The only difference is that last time, you caused the bruises indirectly." She winced, and rubbed her hip. "I can't tell whether it was better that way or not."

"Do you need to take a break?" Edward asked.

Karmyn shook her head. "I've worked myself harder trying to learn certain gymnastics moves. Surely this can't be worse than a fall from the high bar."

"But you had a mat to fall on when you fell from the high bar," Alphonse pointed out helpfully.

Karmyn looked over and pointed at him forcefully as she said, "You be quiet."

His amber eyes widened as he lifted his hands from the book and raised them in the universal gesture for surrender. "Yes, ma'am," he said, grinning. All at once, Winry's words came rushing back to her and her stomach flopped rebelliously. She turned away.

"You guys did this when you were ten and eleven," she said, settling into the stance Edward had instructed her in earlier. "I can do it when I'm seventeen. Now come on, Ed. Try your best."

Five seconds later, she was on her back once again.

"That's just not fair," she grumbled, picking herself up.

"Here," Al said, closing his barely-read alchemy book and standing up. Karmyn watched as he made his way over to them. "I think I see what you're doing wrong. I can demonstrate it for you, if you'd like?"

Karmyn held her hands out before her, stepping back as she gestured toward Ed. "By all means," she said, "be my guest."

Alphonse assumed the position she had taken just a minute or two ago. When Edward went to flip him, however, Al did … something … and it was Ed who ended up on the ground a few feet away. Well, ended up on his feet, really, but the point was that Al was not lying on the ground as she had been.

"Okay," she said, "what did you do?"

"It's all in where you position your weight," he said, "and in using your opponent's momentum against them."

Karmyn rolled her eyes. "I know that, I just don't know how to actually do it."

"I'll go slower this time," Ed promised, beckoning her back over. "Come on. Al, correct her as we go."

"O-okay, Brother."

"Uhm," Karmyn said, taking a step back, "why don't you two demonstrate it for me again? Slower, this time, so I can see what's happening."

Edward shrugged. "We can do that too," he said. "Al?"

"Right."

Karmyn bit her bottom lip as she watched the boys demonstrate the throw once again. This time, with the movements slowed down, her gymnastics training allowed her to recognize the shift of their weight and the flow of their movements. Could she do it herself? No, probably not, but she was starting to understand it in theory.

And any start was a good start.

Sure enough, as she took her place back from Alphonse, she found herself once again on the ground. "I felt a difference that time, though," she said, shaking out her limbs. "Again."

Al clapped her on the back. "Just don't work yourself too hard, Kai," he said, giving her no time to respond before returning to his book. Her skin prickled where his hand had landed – she couldn't identify whether it was a good prickle or a bad one. Mostly, it was just weird.

She shook the thought from her head and instead focused all her attention on Edward. She would get it this time, she knew it! Gritting her teeth as Ed reached for her, she imitated Al as best she could. The result was not entirely what she expected; she kept Ed from knocking her on her back, but she lost her footing in the second half of the maneuver and managed to topple them both to the ground.

Edward gasped. "Ow!" he protested, "Hey, your elbows are sharp!"

"Sorry!" Karmyn squeaked. As she rolled off of him to sit on the grass, however, she started laughing. Ed stared at her in bewilderment for several seconds before bursting into laughter as well.

"Are you okay?" Alphonse asked, abandoning his book yet again to check on them. He towered over both of them, the only one standing as Karmyn sat and Edward still lay on his back. Karmyn looked up at him, into round amber eyes, and she only laughed harder.

Al shook his head as he started chuckling himself. "What am I going to do with two of you? Brother was bad enough!"

Karmyn plucked a fistful of grass and threw it at him.

That's how Izumi found them, half an hour later. All pretense of training and studying had been dropped, the three teenagers instead goofing off and lazing about in the midafternoon sunlight. Her lips curved into what could have been called an affectionate smile as she watched them, but it was gone before any of the teenagers saw her approach.

'You call this training?' she asked harshly.

Karmyn was quick to leap to her feet, the Elrics only a fraction of a second behind her. 'Uh,' she said, 'not exactly. We were – I have bruises to prove it.'

Izumi sighed before snapping, 'Break time's over. Karmyn, come help me with some errands. Boys, help Sig with whatever he needs help with.'

'Y-yes, ma'am!' the boys acquiesced. Karmyn looked up at Izumi, then followed her out into the street.

They walked in silence for several minutes. Karmyn snuck glance after glance at the woman beside her, trying to decide whether she wanted to say anything or not. Eventually, she couldn't hold her tongue for any longer.

'We are not doing errands, are we?' the teenager asked as they strolled down the road away from the direction Edward had told her the center of town was in. She watched Izumi's face for confirmation of her suspicions, and the slightest twitch of the stoic woman's lips was all she needed. They weren't running errands.

'You're quick,' Izumi said. 'It doesn't surprise me that you were able to figure out who those boys were, back when you met them.'

Was that … was that a compliment? From the Izumi Curtis? Karmyn opened her mouth to say something – anything – but all she could think of to say was, 'It took me a few weeks.'

Izumi chuckled. 'I imagine they've told you about their first few weeks of alchemical training?'

'About the island? Some of it,' Karmyn said truthfully, remembering Al's story about coconuts that first miserable night at the hotel. She had heard other anecdotes over the past weeks, but that one night stuck vividly in her mind. A chill ran down her spine and through her extremities. 'Do you mean – is that where we're going?'

For all she insisted that she could do no less than what the Elrics did, the thought of spending an entire month alone on a deserted island was not something she had considered. Was she actually that dedicated to learning alchemy? She panicked. 'But,' she said, 'but I know the meaning of 'all is one, one is all!' Are you going to leave me for a month? Ed and Al will panic!'

Dammit, she could already feel the early symptoms of a panic attack. She hadn't had one in ages – not since she had first landed in Amestris, overwhelmed and in pain. She had nearly forgotten the unpleasant sensation, but as she started gasping for breath, it all came rushing back.

'Karmyn. Karmyn, look at me!' The words sliced through the fog in her consciousness, and Karmyn found herself staring into obsidian eyes as Izumi crouched before her. 'I know you already know the meaning behind 'all is one, one is all.' I'm not going to leave you there for a month – I don't think you need it like those boys did when they first came to me.'

'So … why …?'

Izumi straightened, and Karmyn looked up at her as they started walking again. 'I just want you to think about it for a little while. There's a difference between knowing it and truly understanding it.'

Karmyn nodded shakily as they came to stand at the edge of the water. The lake was beautiful, the afternoon sunlight glinting off its ripples absolutely dazzling. The water was actually blue, not the brackish green of the ponds she had known back home. For all she missed the fast pace of the city, she was learning to appreciate the beauty of the countryside.

'I think I understand,' she said. 'I do not know why I did not anticipate this.'

'You've had a lot going on,' Izumi said. 'I think some time alone to think things over will do you some good. Ed and Al seem reluctant to let you out of their sight.'

Karmyn sighed as she stared out over the water. 'The first few weeks I was here, I spent a lot of time alone. They thought – we thought – that they needed to give me space to come to terms with … everything. It did not end well.' She bit her lip, wondering if she should confess the next part to the woman whom she had only known for a few days.

'I was … nearly suicidal.' The words slipped from her lips before she made the decision to allow them to. 'I never tried, but I thought about all the ways I could and how easy it would be.' Her hand rose to wipe a tear away angrily. 'If Al had not talked to me that night, I do not know what might have happened.'

'Karmyn, you are more like those boys than you think,' Izumi said sincerely. 'Thank you for telling me; I'll handle Ed and Al when I get back. Are you ready?'

Karmyn looked up at her. 'As ready as I will ever be,' she said with a brave smile.

As they rowed out to the middle of the lake and the small island that resided there, Karmyn lost herself in thought. Ed and Al would not be happy when they realized what their teacher had done. They would understand, of course, once they were of clearer minds, but they would have tried to stop her if they'd known. As apprehensive as she was about this yet-to-be disclosed amount of time on the island, she was also rather excited. She thought, perhaps, that Izumi had a point when she said that time alone to think things over would do her good. It was going to be different from last time – instead of dwelling over the past, she would muse on the future.

And Izumi … Karmyn assumed she had caught her in a rare moment of softheartedness. Now, not ten minutes later, the woman's tanned features were set back in stone as she focused on the island before them. Karmyn didn't attempt to initiate conversation; she was still rather embarrassed by all she had admitted by the edge of the lake.

It wasn't long before the boat washed up on the shore of Yock Island, the façade of trees slightly different but eerily similar to what she remembered from the anime. How did Arakawa manage to capture things so accurately when she had never seen them? She made a mental note to ask one of her friends later.

'Help me get the boat up on the sand,' Izumi snapped, and Karmyn stripped off her boots and socks before leaping cautiously into the ankle-deep water. With a grunt, the two women pulled the boat up out of the water so that it would not wash away before Izumi was ready to leave.

Karmyn breathed heavily as Izumi dusted sand off her hands. 'Right,' the woman said, grabbing an item out of the boat, 'this is for you.' Looking at it carefully, Karmyn backed away when she realized it was a large knife that was being held out to her, handle first.

'Even after what I told you?' she asked incredulously. 'I do not know if it is a good idea.'

Izumi's expression grew hard. 'You cannot live in fear of yourself,' she barked. 'I believe you've already overcome that obstacle – now you're just running away. You're still unwilling to accept that this is your new reality, and that will never do. Take the knife.'

Still, Karmyn hesitated.

'Take it!'

Slowly, she reached out and curled her fingers around the handle. When Izumi let go, Karmyn braced her wrist against its full weight and kept it steady. 'Okay,' she said softly, more to herself than anything. 'Okay.'

'The boys tell me that you're a city girl.'

Karmyn looked up to see Izumi staring down at her, her arms folded across her chest. Man, she was intimidating. 'Yes, I am,' she said, letting the knife fall to her side as she met the woman's eyes.

Izumi smiled at her, but it wasn't the comforting smile from the other side of the lake. No, this smile was almost predatory, gleaning sick satisfaction from Karmyn's predicament. The teenager gripped the knife handle harder in anticipation and no small amount of dread as she waited for her sentence to be delivered to her.

'One week,' Izumi proclaimed sternly. 'You have one week to prove to me your true dedication to studying alchemy, and one week to mull over the meaning of 'all is one, one is all.' And,' she continued more softly, 'you have one week to think about what it is you want to do with your life from here on out.'

Karmyn was careful not to let the 'oh, shit' show on her face. She was indeed a city girl, through and through, and the prospect of surviving for even a week alone on an otherwise-deserted island was daunting one. Still, the Elrics had survived the same scenario for a month when they were ten and eleven. If they could do that much at that age, then surely she could do much less at seventeen.

'Yes, ma'am,' she said awkwardly, unused to the formality. She never used it back home, but she didn't know how else to address the woman before her.

Izumi simply turned and pushed the boat back into the water, a task much simpler than that of getting it out. If one could clamber into a boat gracefully, she did so as Karmyn still stood on the beach, poleaxed. She paused for just a moment, then fished something out of her pocket.

She tossed the thing at Karmyn, who just barely caught it clumsily with her right hand. Taking a look, Karmyn saw that it was a small box of matches. 'What?' she asked in confusion.

'I know how many are in there,' Izumi threatened across the increasing distance between them, 'and I'll know if you use any. Good luck!'

And then she was gone. Karmyn stood on the edge of the water with the knife in one hand and the matches in the other, staring after her until she could no longer say for certain whether that small speck docking on the other side of the lake was Izumi or not. Taking a few steps back, she sat down rather ungracefully in the sand. She had many thoughts fighting for space in the forefront of her mind, but there was one single question that overpowered the rest.

How pathetic did one have to be for the Izumi Curtis, Hard-Ass Extraordinaire, to take pity on her?

Dropping the knife in the sand beside her, she carefully opened the matchbox. There were only ten matches inside – one for each night she would be on the island and three extra, she figured. Like Izumi had said, it would be painfully obvious if she used even one. A wave of resentment swelled in her chest. Had she really been that pathetic? Izumi had given the boys nothing when she stuck them here for a month, and Edward had been eleven.

For a single, transient moment, she wondered if part of it had to do with the fact she was female, but she dismissed the notion just as quickly. After all, this was Izumi Curtis she was talking about.

Was it because she was so far out of her element to begin with? Was it because the Elrics had told Izumi that Karmyn was a city girl? Was it because she was stuck out here on this island alone, without anyone to work with?

She dwelled over it furiously as she glared a hole through the matchbox in her hand. It was no matter, she decided, closing her fingers over it. She would prove to Izumi that she was just as good as the boys. After all, hadn't she been the one to say that Karmyn was more like the Elrics than she thought?

Picking up the knife and pushing herself to her feet, she thought furiously about what she needed to do first. Food, water, shelter. The three basic needs. She needed to do something about those, but as she turned away from the shore and toward the woods, she decided to do a bit of exploring first. Clenching her fist around the matchbox, she slid the offending object into the pocket of the sweatpants she had been wearing during training with Ed that morning.

She wouldn't use them. She didn't need anyone else's handouts – not anymore.

Meanwhile, back at the Curtis house, the two Elric brothers were getting antsy as time wore on with no sign of either their teacher or Karmyn.

'Teacher and Kai are taking an awfully long time,' Al said at last, voicing both their concerns. 'Don't you think, Brother?'

Edward turned away from the meat he had just finished shelving in the back of the shop. 'Teacher didn't say which errands needed doing,' he said. 'They'll be back soon, I'm sure of it.'

When Izumi returned fifteen minutes later, however, Kai was not in tow. Perhaps, under other circumstances, Ed would not have been nearly as concerned. As things stood, however, his mind was quick to jump to worst-case scenarios. His mind stumbled over everything that could have possibly happened until, suddenly, he remembered all the questions their teacher had asked them over the past week.

He remembered the first part of their own alchemy training, and a pit of horror yawned open within his stomach.

'Teacher?' Al asked, 'Where's –'

'You didn't!' Edward's angered outburst overrode his brother's query, shocking Al into silence. Izumi simply looked at him impassively as he tried desperately to wrangle his emotions back under control.

'She didn't what, Brother?' Al asked after several moments. 'Teacher, where's Kai?'

'Kai's on the island, isn't she?' Ed asked Izumi calmly, but not without anger lacing his words. 'You're putting her through the same thing you put us through when we started training.'

'What? But … Teacher!' Al cried. 'You can't do that!'

'I can't?' Izumi asked, crossing her arms as she leaned against the doorjamb. 'Karmyn wished to learn alchemy. I told her I wasn't going to go easy on her. This is how I run my training, you two know that.'

'But Kai's different!' Ed insisted.

'Is she?' The question was sharp, demanding. 'How so?'

Edward floundered for a response. 'She's been through so much already, and she only just decided she wanted to learn alchemy! She's lived in the city all her life, too – I told you that! And now you're sentencing her to a month in the woods?'

Izumi regarded him coolly, then turned her gaze on Al. 'Do you agree with your brother?'

'Uhm,' Al hedged, 'yeah? Kind of?'

The woman sighed, closing her eyes for a long moment before leading them into the living room of the houe. She gestured to the couches. 'Sit down,' she instructed, 'both of you.' Her tone left room for no argument, and so both boys obeyed the command.

She sat down across from them, her elbows on her knees and her face gravely serious. Edward had no clue where this was going – he was actually rather surprised she hadn't kicked his ass yet for speaking out as he did. Still, his concern for his friend outweighed everything else, and from the way his brother was tensed beside him, he knew Al felt the same way. Both listened intently as their teacher began speaking.

'This is precisely the reason why I brought her to the island,' Izumi said, fixing them both with her obsidian stare.

'What? What do you mean?' Al asked before Ed could.

'How would you describe Karmyn?'

Edward looked at Al, then back at Izumi. 'Kai's great,' he said, slightly confused. 'She's smart, determined, brave …'

'She's strong,' Al said quietly. 'She hates herself for falling apart like she did, but she pulled through it.' He paused. 'Teacher, why do you ask?'

Izumi sat up straight and crossed her arms. 'Strong, smart, determined, brave ... able to take care of herself, it sounds like. And yet the two of you coddle her.'

The words hit them both like a dart. 'We don't –'

'You don't?' Izumi cut Edward off sharply. 'Neither of you have left her side since you've been here. If she struggles with something, you immediately help her with it rather than let her figure it out herself. You tell me she's different, but honestly she's more prepared for her time on the island than you were. You two didn't know it was coming. She at least suspected. You were a pair of naïve young boys when you came to me; she's nearly an adult who has already seen way more than she ever should have. And yet the two of you speak as if it's something she can't handle! What would she say if she heard your lack of confidence in her?'

Edward hung his head, both he and Alphonse thoroughly chastised. 'I'm sorry,' he said. 'It's just … she had a really rough time in Resembool, and we didn't do anything to help until it was almost too late. We can't let that happen again.'

'She told me about that,' Izumi said, slightly gentler. 'She didn't want to take the knife for fear of something happening again. But boys,' she stressed, 'you have to let her make her own decisions; you have to let her take care of herself sometimes. You don't seriously believe she's going to spend the rest of her life hanging around the two of you, do you? You're each going to have your own life, and where will she fall into that?'

Ed didn't miss the way Al buried his face in his hands. To Izumi it may have looked like it was because he was only coming to terms with what she had said, but he saw the blush that tinged his brother's cheeks. In that moment, his prior suspicions were confirmed, and he had to keep himself from grinning. He was going to have fun with this, later.

'I put her out on the island for one week for two reasons,' Izumi snapped brusquely as she stood, any trace of the softness gone, 'to test her true determination to learn alchemy, and to give her time to think things over without you two around to influence her decision. She has a knife and ten matches. If you have any other complaints, I suggest you keep them to yourselves.'

She then walked swiftly out of the room, leaving the two boys to their thoughts. She was right, Ed knew, even if he hadn't realized it until now. After the scare back in Resembool, they had been overly protective of their friend, and it was no longer doing her any good. In fact, they were probably just holding her back – or at least, they would have been if Izumi hadn't stepped in when she did. It was a good thing their teacher had seen it before Kai had, or else she would have been pissed when she realized.

He chuckled softly. 'Damn,' he said. 'Over a hundred years old, and we still need to be schooled by Teacher about the important things.'

Alphonse just groaned. "Did she see that?" he asked in English.

"What, you blushing like an idiot?" Edward grinned. "Nah, I don't think so. I won't say she doesn't know, though – she's scarily perceptive." He shuddered. When Al groaned again, Ed's grin diminished into a smaller, more affectionate smile as he rubbed his brother's back. "Don't worry, you're good," he said. "I won't tell anyone, I promise. You're good."

All they could do now was wait, but that was okay. If there was one thing the Elric brothers had become experts at over the years, it was waiting.

Kai would be fine.

12 YEARS, 3 MONTHS
Friday, November 11, 2025

Author's Note:

I'm sorry this was posted a day late. I'm on Spring Break, and my roommate came up to New Hampshire with me, which is super exciting! My internet has been off and on since I've been here, though, so I couldn't get this posted last night.

I hope this wasn't too predictable. Or if it was, that I managed to keep everyone in character. Izumi is really freaking hard to write, especially when trying to show that she cares without making her soft.

On another note, I haven't been working on this nearly as much as I should have been recently. To be honest, I don't know if I'll even be able to keep the monthly schedule for much longer. BUT THERE'S GOOD NEWS.

I'm finally starting to write my own original story!

I've been doing a lot of work on that recently, and I think I finally have an idea I can carry through with. I'll keep you updated as I go!

Thank you so much for sticking with me!

12.31.2015
03.05.2016

The next chapter will be posted 02 April.