Chapter XXXIV
What the hell am I doing here?
Or so he tries, because Rey goes after him so fast that she doesn't need to yell the words to make them reach him under the ardent midday sun.
"I know what you did for Poe. And I know you couldn't do it for Finn."
Kylo halts, because she has done the equivalent of placing a leash around his neck so he can't escape.
"Don't do this."
"I know what you did, spirit. I know you broke the rules."
Kylo turns around. He can feel himself breaking down into despair, but she's determined.
He can see it in her eyes.
And he runs to cover her mouth with his hand before she can continue.
"Rey, do not call him," he pleads. "He will want to rectify my mistakes, he will want to… kill you."
Her hands can barely push apart his.
"And he won't kill you?" she asks in a barely intelligible whisper.
"Surely," he recognizes. "But I don't care about that part. You, however…"
"What about me? Why is it always about me?" Rey asks mercilessly. "Poe died, so you brought him back. For me. I died, so you brought me back. Finn died, and you didn't do the same only because it would have costed me my life."
Kylo whimpers again, as if the situation physically hurts him. The human in him is rusty, it doesn't know about conventions, and the supernatural in him doesn't understand why has he put himself in this situation at forsaking his duty.
"What's the reason for all this, Ben?"
For a girl that should have died years ago.
For the most important person to us.
"It doesn't make any sense, the fact you keep on doing this to yours-…"
Nonetheless, at the end, both halves, Ben Solo and Kylo Ren, finally agree.
"I have done it for you Rey," Ben Solo and Kylo Ren confess at the same time. "Because I love you."
And the memory of the smile she gives him when he takes her in her arms, pulls her against him and kisses her, will last forever.