AIE MANAWA – BORROWED TIME
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or the Characters.
A/N: Thank you all for the lovely reviews, favs and follows. I really appreciate it! The story is set mid Season 6.
Mahalo and Enjoy.
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Chapter Thirty-Five: Driving Around The Block
Steve wandered around the halls of the hospital before he went outside. He could see the Camaro standing on the parking lot. Maybe he should go for a ride to clear his mind. He walked up to the Camaro and got in. He didn't start the engine though. Instead of doing that he slammed on the steering wheel, out of anger. Steve wanted to scream so badly. This was where it all started. Danny had gotten into his own car, got stabbed too many times, he survived, got back up again and then this. He was still dealing with the aftermath. It wasn't fair.
The passenger's door opened and Chin got in the car. Out of the blue and without asking. Steve had been there enough times when chin needed someone, so this time he would be there for Steve. Especially when Danny wasn't able to fill that spot at the moment.
"You just left as Kono and I arrived. The doc informed us." Chin explained why he would know where Steve would be. "Are you okay?" He looked worried at Steve.
"No I'm not okay, I don't know what I'm supposed to do." Steve balled his fists while leaning them on the steering wheel.
"It's a though choice." Chin had to make some difficult choices himself. One of those choices kind of resulted in losing his wife Malia.
"The only thing I have to do is to make the decision. Danny has to do the hardest part." Steve let his head lean against the headrest. "It's just, I don't think I should make the decision." Chin could hear guilt and some uncertainty in Steve voice.
"Steve, you out of all people knows Danny best. You guys are like the odd married couple. Deep down you know which option to choose, because you know what Danny would've chosen." Chin looked encouraging at Steve. Steve didn't look back though.
"He would do everything to stay with his kids as long as possible." Steve said after a minute, he looked at Chin. He didn't know why, but maybe he did to confirm his thoughts.
"Well then choose the option with the best chance of fighting this." Chin finally came through to Steve. Chin couldn't remember seeing Steve this worn out. He looked so tired.
"Which is?" Steve looked hopeful at Chin. He needed someone else to say it.
"You know already, don't you?" Chin knew what Steve was trying to do and he didn't play along with it. Steve had to make the decision on his own.
"Yeah I do." Steve looked thankful to Chin and stepped determent out of the Camaro.
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Steve went back inside the hospital, he pushed the elevator button, but when he saw it had to come from the top floor, he took the stairs to go up to the sixth floor. He didn't have the patience to wait for the elevator, he needed to go up and tell the doc his decision. He felt the pressure of giving an answer, so he took two flights at the time. He jogged through the hallway, when he closed in on Danny's room he could see Kono standing outside the room. Her hands were in her neck and she seemed stressed.
"Hey, what's going on?" The fact that she wasn't with Danny alarmed Steve.
"Danny woke up and they wanted to talk to him in private." Kono stared at the room, the blinds were closed and she got blocked out.
"Kono?" Steve asked as he could see the sadness in her eyes.
"He's still in so much pain. What did we do?" Kono looked scared at Steve as she ran her hands desperate through her hair.
"Hey! Hey!" Steve grabbed Kono at her shoulders and looked deeply in her eyes. "Don't go there. He's going to be okay and there is nothing we could've have done different, you hear me?" Kono nodded, her lower lip trembled as she was trying to hold back some tears.
"I'll be right back okay? But I have to speak with Danny as well. I'll be back!" Steve nodded to make sure she was all right with him leaving and as soon as she nodded approvingly, he walked up to Danny's room.
"Danny?" Steve asked as he entered the room. "Danny?" Steve walked up to the bed, standing at the foot end of the bed, he looked hopeful at his friend to see two familiar baby blue eyes only they were shut. The only blue eyes that looked at him were the ones of doctor Murray. The doc put back the bandage on Danny's abdomen, closed the hospital gown and placed the sheets back over Danny. "I'm sorry I tried, but nothing reasonable came out. The fever in combination with the pain he's in, nothing, I'm sorry." Murray said as he held on to his stethoscope, hanging around his neck, with both hands.
Steve locked his eyes on Danny. Danny was lying on his back, but leaning on his left side, to give his bruised right side less pressure. The oxygen mask was still on and the heart monitor was beeping steadily. Steve stared at Danny's feet and let out a big breath. "You can start him on dialysis." As soon as he said it he looked at Danny's face to see any kind of response, but there was none. Only doctor Murray let out a sigh.
"Good choice, I'll tell doctor Fernandez, so she can insert the catheter. She will be in shortly to explain the procedure to you." Doctor Murray placed his hand supportive on Steve shoulder; he nodded and left the room.
Steve leaned with his elbows on the foot end of the bed, watching Danny. He studied his partner, the doc probably gave him something to ease the pain and put him to sleep, only Steve could see that his partner was still battling the pain. His eyes were shut, but squeezed and some beads of sweat were still on his forehead, he could clearly see the pain still lingering on his face. Steve watched as Danny's chest rose and fell. Every time Danny exhaled, some moisture would appear inside the breathing mask. Steve hoped he made the right decision.
Steve couldn't handle the silence in the room. "You better pull this off buddy. You know how much I hate it to be wrong." Steve kind of hoped for a response, but he knew better than that, so he answered himself after a few seconds. "Good, we're finally agreeing on something." Steve placed his hand shortly on Danny's right foot and left him alone to rest.
When he walked out, Kono and Chin were standing in the hallway, eager to see their friend as well. They went in as Doctor Fernandez closed in on Steve. In her left hand she held a tablet and a clipboard, probably with the forms that Steve needed to sign.
"Let's get it over with, where do you want me to sign?" Steve really didn't want to think about it too long. He made up his mind and he didn't need something to make him doubt the whole situation again.
"It's protocol to explain the procedure before you can sign off on it, so that's what I'm going to do first." Doctor Fernandez looked seriously at Steve.
"Yeah of course." Steve was a bit ashamed that he asked so quickly. Of course he cared about the procedure and what it would do to Danny, but his first reaction was to start as quickly as possible. But he actually didn't know exactly what needed to be done and what kind of reaction Danny would have on the dialysis, so he listened to the doctor very attentively.
"First of all, there are different kinds of dialysis treatment and regarding Danny's situation we'll be talking about Hemodialysis. I'm going to bur out a lot of medical terms, but I'll try to explain them. If you have any questions in between, just ask." Doctor Fernandez tried to get Steve a bit more relaxed with this situation. She noticed Steve's tense posture. He nodded and folded his arms across his chest. Fernandez accepted the nodding as an answer and started.
"So with Hemodialysis the excessive volumes of waste fluids will be removed from the blood using a filter also known as an artificial kidney. The artificial kidney cleans the blood of wastes and takes the excessive water and salt from the body. During a dialysis session the blood passes through the filter a number of times. But in order to get blood to the artificial kidney, we are required to create an access point in the bloodstream. That kind of access to the bloodstream can be obtained by using a dialysis catheter or a so-called shunt, it will be inserted in a large blood vessel." Doctor Fernandez paused to see if Steve was processing all the information and if he would have any questions already, but he stared confused at her, so she decided to continue till he would ask something.
"The dialysis catheter will be inserted into the subclavian vein. Normally it would be inserted in the forearm, but we need to start Danny on dialysis immediately, so that's why I'm going to place a temporary catheter. After insertion, the catheter can be used directly and the advantage of this catheter is that there is no surgical intervention required to bring the catheter in." She could see she lost Steve during her explanation, because his brow was furrowed, his eyes narrowed and he looked totally lost.
"Alright lets see." Doctor Fernandez unlocked the tablet she was holding in her left hand. She swiped between a few images before she continued. "So right here you can see a dialysis catheter. It's a plastic tube with a length ranging from fifteen to twenty centimeters and a thickness of 3 millimeters." She swiped to the next animated technical drawing to explain the procedure.
"After insertion, there is a part of the catheter outside the body. On this part there are two ends, also called the lumen. A lumen is used to the supply the blood to the dialysis machine and a lumen for the return flow of blood to the body. Sutures will hold the catheter in place so that it is tight and cannot slide out." Doctor Fernandez finished, pointing to image on the tablet.
"What about complications?" Steve looked at the animated technical drawing of how the catheter would look like. It was showing where the tube would be going underneath the skin and how the tubes would be hanging out of the chest. It would look a bit weird a tube hanging out, he knew it was temporarily, but it didn't look risk free.
"A possible complication that may arise with each dialysis catheter is coagulation or thrombosis in the catheter. This situation is common and is one of the signs of a malfunction in the catheter. But during the treatment various observations and check ups take place by a dialysis nurses and myself. Main problems are the blood pressure drops during treatment, often due to high ultrafiltration and of course the called 'dialysis hangover', meaning he could be nauseous, start vomiting and have cramps."
"So he'll feel like crap during and afterwards?" Steve concluded placing one hand on the back of his head to scratch. Sure Steve knew there would be some discomfort, but he hadn't really thought of it.
"Commander I'm not going to deny that the dialysis treatment won't be tough. It's a heavy burden on the body. How the treatment is experienced varies per patient. Most patients say they feel pretty good, but often there are also complaints."
"Like?" Steve asked impatient and placed both hands on his hips.
"Common complaints during and after dialysis treatment are nausea, dizziness, itching, cramps, headaches, a light-headedness, cold, sweating and being tired. The treatment will be made as comfortable as possible. The symptoms usually disappear after a few hours and the complaints can often be avoided by proper monitoring of the diet, fluid intake, medication and exercise. But during the treatment we will continue given medications, because medications taken before the dialysis are 'flushed out' during dialysis. So Danny won't be in any physical pain for example."
Steve swallowed the big lump in his throat. "Will he sleep through it? I mean you gave him drugs to sleep and ease the pain right?" It all sounded awful to go through. The dialysis was supposed to help Danny regain his kidney function, but it sure didn't sound like it.
"We did. But he woke up after a few hours after giving the doses of medication. The dialysis session will take up to at least four hours. So he'll wake up during and he should. That way he can tell us if he's having any discomfort or complaints and we can threat him for it."
"Okay." Steve didn't know what else he could say. He was looking forward to seeing Danny awake, but right know he actually wished Danny could sleep through.
"Do you have any other questions at the moment?" Doctor Fernandez looked Steve in the eyes.
"No, I don't think so." Steve couldn't think of anything else, he was startled by the whole conversation.
"Alright." Doctor Fernandez handed Steve the clipboard, took out a pen from her lab coat pocket and pointed with the pen to a line at the bottom of the form. "If you could sign here?" Steve took over the pen. He had signed off on a lot of things and he never doubted. He never made a big deal out of it. But right now he took a second before he scribbled his signature on the form. He let out some air through his nose and looked up from the form, to doctor Fernandez and back to the form. He signed the form and gave it back.
"Thank you commander." Fernandez accepted the clipboard from Steve. "I'll take detective Williams up to the dialysis ward to insert the catheter. After that I'll connect him immediately for his first round of dialysis. I'll let someone notify you once he's set up. It won't take that long." She nodded and went up to enter Danny's room.
"Thank you…" Steve followed her going in. He gazed at Danny's room, without blinking. As soon as doctor Fernandez went in, Kono and Chin walked out. The blinds were still closed, so Steve couldn't see what was going on inside, but he could picture the doctor prepping Danny to transport him. He couldn't stop thinking if he made the right call or not. A familiar voice brought him out of his deep thoughts.
"Steve, you coming?" It was Chin. He and Kono were already a half way through the hallway when then noticed Steve wasn't behind them. Chin has asked Steve to come with them down to the cafeteria, Steve didn't answer, but he clearly hadn't heard it either.
"Yeah, I think I'm going for a drive or something." Steve sounded lost and had this empty look in his eyes. He started to walk the opposite way of where Chin and Kono were going and where Steve should go.
"Boss? You might want to go this way?" Kono said as she stopped Steve from going the wrong way. Steve didn't say anything, he just turned around, looked at the exit sign, pointing in the other direction of which he was going and nodded. As Steve walked past Chin, Chin padded Steve on his shoulder.
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After fifty minutes Steve returned to the hospital. He didn't drive very far; he just had been driving around the block. This way he would be close in case something was wrong or he needed to be present or anything. When he parked the Camaro in a parking spot near the entrance he couldn't tell if he passed some red lights or not, or if the lights were green at all. It felt like a dream, he couldn't recall the drive. It was like once you woke up, you could remember the dream, but the more time passed the less detailed the dream became.
Steve locked the Camaro and went inside. Chin had texted him that they were waiting in the smaller waiting area on the sixth floor, so Steve went up there as well. Again he took the stairs, he didn't have the patience to wait for the elevator. It didn't make sense though. Once he would be up, he would be sitting in a chair, staring to the floor to kill some time before someone notified him. He needed to be alone a little longer, so he sat down on the stairs to think.
He had hoped that driving around would clear his mind, but it was the opposite of that. He kept thinking about all of it. The attack in its entirety, the recovery, the new case, and then ending up back here. Did he push Danny too much to come back to work? He wasn't ready to loose his partner, that's one thing for sure. It was something he didn't want to, he liked to work with Danny. But he hadn't been realistic.
Seeing Danny lying in that hospital bed again made him aware he had been selfish. It was about Steve himself, he didn't want to work with someone else. He didn't want to lose his partner. But it was just work. What if he would've lost him entirely? What if Danny died? Then Steve would've lost his partner, his best friend. Not now, Danny was still around, it wouldn't have been the end of the world to find a new partner. Yes he would've 'lost' his partner at work, but they would still be friends. They would still hang around. He shouldn't have pushed Danny so hard to get him back at work for his own satisfaction.
It wasn't the time to have, according to Danny, a pity party. He had to be there for Danny. Really be there this time. He promised himself he would apologize to Danny and this time he would be the friend he should have been in the first place. Steve stood up and went to the sixth floor to wait in company of his Ohana, till someone would allow him to see Danny.
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Lou and Abby had joined as well before Steve arrived and Jerry showed up a little after Steve. They hadn't said much to each other. Steve didn't know what to say exactly, he just sat in a chair just like the others. They had been waiting for a while since Steve returned, when doctor Murray appeared in the waiting area.
"Commander?" Murray spoke directly to Steve, but when he noticed everyone sharpened his or her ears, he turned to everyone. It was just a small waiting area, actually just a few chairs standing around, but it was completely filled and everyone who was in it was here for Danny. The devotion impressed doctor Murray.
"Everything went fine. The catheter is in place and doctor Fernandez is setting him up for his first dialysis session in his room. She will run some labs, but everything seems to be fine at the moment." Murray nodded to Steve to come and talk to the side bar. Steve got the hint, stood up and walked over to the doctor to speak in private. The rest of the team sagged relieved back in their chairs.
"Commander, I hope you don't mind me asking, but would you stay with Danny? I would stay myself, but I have to preform an eight hour surgery, so I won't be able to and I think Danny can use someone familiar around since he has no clue on what's going on." Doctor Murray rambled a little unsecure after his last outbreak on insisting that Steve would leave, or at least he couldn't see Danny.
"Sure thing doc. I'm happy to." Steve was relieved as well that everything went well and he had no plans of leaving anyway.
"Good, thank you. Doctor Fernandez will check on him regularly as will a nurse and doctor Owens, so don't worry, but Danny doesn't know them so I appreciate if you would hang around. Or at least someone he knows, but please go in one at the time, because we need space to work and the room is a bit full with all the equipment." Doctor Murray carefully brought the adjustment up.
As Steve was about to answer doctor Murray's pager went off. He looked at it. "I'm sorry, I have to go." He started to take a few steps backwards. "I'm in OR 3, they can call me if Danny or you need anything alright?" He didn't wait for Steve to respond, doctor Murray started to jog.
"Thanks doc, we'll be fine." Steve shouted as the doc started to run trough the now crowded hallway.
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Steve insisted that everyone should go in before he did. This way everyone could see Danny for himself or herself and after that they should go home. Steve would stay and update them if anything changed. It took some convincing, but eventually they agreed. There wasn't much for them to do, because there was just one person allowed in the room. And neither of them lived far away, so they could be back within twenty minutes or so.
As Steve was about to go in, with a steaming hot cup of coffee, he stumbled on doctor Fernandez. Steve had already spoken to her while the others were visiting Danny. Fernandez ran some labs in the meantime and she probably got the results back, according to her facial expression it didn't look good.
"Commander? Let me give you this. Read it through and if you have any questions, let me know. I'll be back shortly." She handed Steve a brochure and walked away as Steve accepted the brochure.
He stared at the thing with his mouth open. A bit confused that he got it shoved into his hands. It couldn't be true could it? His eyes were locked on the title. The white letters were making a way into his brain. He blinked, but he did read it correctly. Steve was really holding a brochure about Kidney failure.
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