I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.

Combination of two dares, as suggested respectively by Animation Adventures and Frozenjaqulinefrost.

Of Peppers and Offensive Messages

The next time Hiccup saw Ruffnut, her ears were bright red and she seemed to have difficulty hearing what others were saying. He looked away from where he was washing Toothless and cast the blonde a sympathetic glance. "Boxed your ears, huh?"

Ruffnut blinked at him. "What?"

"He boxed your ears, huh?" repeated Hiccup, lifting the volume of his voice.

"Oh, heck yeah." Ruffnut gingerly rubbed her throbbing ears. "Can't say I didn't deserve it, though. When does the ringing stop?"

Hiccup grinned. "In a few hours. Trust me, I've been there."

Ruffnut nodded. "Guess it could have gone worse."

"Oi, there you are."

Tuffnut sauntered up the slope, hands shoved in the pockets of his vest. There was an amused expression on his face as he regarded his sister. "That looks painful."

"What?"

"I said, that looks painful!"

"Oh. Well, obviously!"

"You better put some ice on those," advised Hiccup. "It'll help with the pain."

"Good idea. Why didn't I think of that?" Ruffnut glanced at her brother. "Help me find some ice, dork."

"Sure. But I have to give Hiccup his dare first."

Hiccup's good mood instantly dissolved, replaced by suspicion and nervousness. Toothless snorted softly and the teen glared down at him. "Not one word."

"I dare you to eat this hot pepper," declared Tuffnut, proffering a chunky dark red pepper, "while you write something really offensive on Chief's favourite shield. You have to hang it up in the Great Hall when you're done."

Hiccup groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Why do we always have to bother my father? Why can't it be someone else?"

"There's no danger in irritating someone else," replied Tuffnut. "Your father is terrifying."

"For obvious reasons," snapped Hiccup. He then heaved a sigh of resignation. "Fine, whatever. Give me the stupid pepper."

Smiling, Tuffnut handed it over. Hiccup eyed it warily before looking sternly at the boy. "Since I have to do this stupid thing, you get to finish washing Toothless."

Tuffnut grunted as the wooden bucket was thrust into his arms. Before he could protest, Hiccup was already storming into his house in search of his father's favourite shield. He looked over to Ruffnut for assistance, but his sister was already off to get some ice for her sore ears, mood greatly improved by the dare Hiccup would have to perform.

"Don't forget to wash behind my ears," rumbled Toothless.

Groaning softly, Tuffnut pulled a cloth out of the bucket and started running it down Toothless' soapy scales. Hiccup did not emerge for five minutes, and when he did his face was red and he was sweating. In his hands was a worn wooden shield with a faded dragon design. Scrawled over the design were the words, Vote for Dagur as the new Berk Chief!

"That's offensive alright," said Tuffnut with a laugh. "How are you going to hang it up?" When Hiccup only glared at him, Tuffnut raised an eyebrow. "What, you mad at me or something?"

"No, I'm not mad, I'm-hic-irritated."

Tuffnut stared. "Do you have the hiccups?"

"Shut-hic-up. It's the stupid-hic-pepper."

Tuffnut burst into laughter. He clutched his stomach and sunk to the ground, shoulders shaking with mirth. "Hiccup has the hiccups!" he crowed.

Hiccup scowled. "Like I've-hic-never heard that-hic-one before."

Toothless snorted in amusement and Hiccup glared at him before storming off towards the Great Hall, shield clutched against his chest. "This is-hic-completely suicidal. And my tongue feels-hic-like it's going to fall-hic -off."

He climbed the stone steps and reached the massive doors that lead to the Great Hall. He went to push the door open and paused. He didn't know how many people were inside, and it probably wasn't the best idea to just barge in with his father's shield, especially since he was having difficulty hiding the insulting message.

"Great. Now-hic-what?"

How about getting some water first, idiot.

Deciding this was a good idea (for his mouth was on fire) Hiccup hurried over to the nearest wooden water pump. A stream of cool water filled his burning mouth, but it only eased the sting for a brief moment. Panting slightly, Hiccup wiped his mouth and wearily started back for the Great Hall.

"Well. That didn't-hic-help at all."

Instead of going straight for the entrance he edged around the building, keeping eyes out for any witnesses. There wasn't anyone out and about at the moment, so he took this as his chance. With much effort, he managed to climb up to the roof, shield hanging off of one shoulder. He opened up the hatch and slid down to land lightly on one of the wooden rafters.

Below were a few clusters of Vikings gathered a several wooden tables, chatting and drinking. Hiccup was dismayed to see his father among them.

Alright, let's get this over with.

In order to keep quiet, he managed to suppress his hiccups, though his body jolted with the action. He crawled along the wooden rafters towards the front entrance. He leaned forwards carefully and hung the shield on a loose nail above the doors.

Satisfied, Hiccup made his way back to the hatch in the roof. He was almost home free when a hiccup too large to suppress escaped him.

"Hic!"

The sound echoed throughout the hall. The Vikings looked up, and the first thing they noticed was the offending shield hanging above the door. Stoick stared at it blankly for a moment before his face burned with rage.

"Who defiled my favourite shield?!"

Moving faster than Hiccup ever thought he was capable of, he launched through the hatch and practically jumped off of the roof. When his feet touched the ground he was off, and he could distantly hear the sound of the Great Hall doors being thrown open as his father burst out in search for the culprit.

I don't want my ears boxed!

Hiccup panted heavily, his adrenaline making him forget the burning sensation occurring within his mouth. He went to the first safe haven he could think of-the Hofferson household.

He nearly ploughed down the door in his attempt to get inside. Astrid, who was sitting at the wooden table in the main room, jumped at his sudden appearance. "What's with you?" she demanded.

"Sshh!" hissed Hiccup, pressing against the door and listening intently.

It was a minute later when familiar heavy footsteps fell in their direction. "When I find you, you're going to beg for Thor's mercy!"

Astrid blinked as Hiccup's face paled. She opened her mouth to speak, but Hiccup motioned for her to stay quiet. He waited a little more and peeked outside, where he was immensely relived to see his father gone.

"Home-hic-free."

"What the heck was that all about?"

"Tuffnut-hic-dared me to-hic-to eat a hot pepper and write-hic-something offensive on Dad's favourite-hic, hic-shield. I got away by the-hic-skin of my teeth. I don't know how much-hic-longer we can-hic, hic-keep this up."

Astrid's eyes lit up with amusement. "You have the hiccups?"

The glower he sent her was rather impressive.

"Please be-hic-quiet and get me some-hic-milk before my tongue-hic-burns off."

Astrid's lips curled upwards.

"Whatever you say, Hiccupping Hiccup."

Next chapter: In which Astrid dares Ruffnut.