Callie POV
It was an early morning. I had watched through the window, how to Sun raised. Right now, I was listening to birds chirping outside, while in my mind I was reliving the embarrassing ordeal with Stef this night. I heard Ethan yawn next to me. As he stretched the next second, he placed his arm over my stomach and scooted closer to my side.
"Cuddle with me," He mumbled half asleep as he snuggled to my side. I turned my head and glanced to him. His eyes were closed. He was trying to get another few minute of sleep.
"This is all your fault!" I pouted and turned my head back to look up the ceiling
"Wha-?" he mumbled back confused as he lifted his head up from the pillow a little "What did I do?"
"You know damn well what you did," I mumbled back keeping my eyes up, trying to sound angry and upset with him, while in fact I was more angry with myself, for getting caught by Stef
"Why are you angry with me?" He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes
"Because it would have never happened if it wasn't for you!"
"Oh, you are talking about the thing with Stef!" He finally realized. Ethan pressed on his left elbow and looked to me "Was it really that bad?"
"Yes it was that bad!" I almost shout out "She saw me half ass naked with a condom in my hand! Never in my life had I been so embarrassed!" I blurred out and covered my face with my hands as I relived the moment. I shook my head and let out a deep sigh.
I lower my hands down to my sides and stared up to the ceiling again "I don't know how am I ever going to be able to look her in the eye," I turn my head to Ethan "She basically gave me a crash course in how to use a condom!"
"Isn't that a good thing?" Ethan asked as she squinted his eyes a little
"How's that a good thing?" I exclaimed as I turned on my side to face him
"Isn't that what parents do - educate kids about grown up...stuff. My dad bought me a box of condoms and taught me how to properly use them, when I entered teen years. You said it yourself, no one ever educated you on that stuff. It sounded to me that Stef tried to make sure you are, you know, protected and safe," Ethan explained as he lowered himself back on the bed
"Shut up!" I rolled on my other side, turning my back to him
"It's true and you know it," Ethan whispered, when he scooted closer to me and spooned me "You are just afraid to admit it that Stef and Lena are more like your parents, than all your foster parents combined!"
"You met them like 5 minutes!" I argued back, because I was, like Ethan said, afraid and also too stubborn and proud to admit it "You don't know what you are talking about-"
"I have read all of the messages you have sent me. You don't even realize how much the messages have changed over the course of time you started to live here,"
"No they haven't!" I said back stubbornly, silently fearing that he might be right about that. Ethan scooted to the other side of the bed. I rolled on my other side to see what he was doing. He put on his glasses and got his phone.
"Okay, so this is from Christmas. This is how you started," He said after a little while. He was now sitting on the bed, facing me.
"God, I hate them! They both think I'm some sort of charity case for them!" he read the texts I had sent him with pauses between them as he scrolled through the old messages "They are both so controlling. They want me to live by their stupid house rules, like in a group home!" Ethan scrolled through the texts for a moment "Ugh, the cop is so irritating and annoying. I can't stand her! She insist on picking me up after my work, whenever I have a late shit. I hate the ride back to the house with her. She is always questioning me...interrogating me!" There was another brief pause "Lena is too nice...no person can be that NICE! She's hiding something...or acting nice to me only because she wants me to back off so they could adopt Jude!"
Ethan paused and raised his eyebrow at me. I shifted on the bed slightly as I got slightly uncomfortable by what I had said about them. He was right, my feelings for them has changed a lot since I first met them.
The house rules weren't as bad as I had thought at first. If I have to be completely honest, I'm more than enjoying the last rule – having dinner/breakfast together with the family. I'm actually looking forward to it now. I love to spend breakfast and dinner together with them. It's never dull, the company is great, the food is amazing, we laugh, we tell each other about our days – it's the best part of the day.
And the car rides with Stef aren't so bad anymore as well. It's actually nice, that someones picks you up after work and you don't have to walk alone for 20 minutes in the dark to get home. Stef always asks about my day, very often I simply vent to her and she just listens. And Lena still is nice to me, even after Jude got adopted. I love spending time with her, even if we don't talk at all. She always makes me feel like at home and I always get the feeling of being loved, whenever near her.
"I believe it all changed, when they gave you that necklace," Ethan points to the one around my neck, which had moms pendant on. I looked down to it and held the pendant between my index and thumb as I remember how Stef put it around my neck, the morning after I had an ugly first meeting with my father.
"And then there is the dream you told me about," Ethan said, his browns went up a bit "The dream where you dreamed that you were calling them mom and mama and told them that you love them!"
"Oh, come on! It's just my imagination gone wild!" I reasoned back
"It's your subconscious telling you something!" he says as he places the phone on the nightstand "Maybe you should listen to it!"
"It was a dream!" I said scooting to the edge of the bed to get up "That's it! A stupid dream!"
"Why are you so afraid?" Ethan asked as we both started to get dressed
"I'm not afraid!" I argued back as I closed my bra
"Yeah? Then admit how you really feel about them!" Ethan said as I jumped into my jeans
I pulled my long sleeve shirt over my head and gave Ethan a look. My hands were by my side. I was having a little stare down with Ethan. He moved his brows up a bit, waiting for me to say something, challenging me to say it.
Briefly I glance to the wall, but when I look back at him , in the short moment of bravery, I admitted how I truly felt "Fine! I love them!" Ethan gave me a look to continue, so I did "I want to be a part of their family!"
I felt exposed and vulnerable after admitting my feelings about them, so I built my walls back up quickly "Are you happy now!?" I threw my arms up and said in more harsher tone
"Didn't it feel good to finally admit it? Get it off your chest?" Ethan grinned at me "Now all you need, is to tell it to them!" Ethan points to the doors
"I can't do that!" I shook my head. There was simply no way I could start that kind of conversation with them. "Can we not talk about this anymore?" I gave Ethan at the other side of the bed a pleading look "Please!"
"As you wish," Ethan nodded, picked up his bag from the ground and started to go through it, looking for something
I walked to the doors and waited for him "You coming? I want to grab breakfast before Stef wakes up,"
"Yeah, coming," Ethan replied zipping up his bag. Next moment we walked out of the garage together.
"Hey, what do you think about me growing a beard?" He said running his palm over his stubble as we walked across the yard
"Why?" I looked over my shoulder to him curious
"Just thinking about it," He shrugged back, running his hand over his stubble again
"You forgot your shaver, didn't you?"
"Yeah," He confessed, when I reached for the door nub and open the doors "I was packing in quite a hurry,"
"I always have wondered, how it would feel to kiss-" I stop mid sentence, when I see Stef sitting at the kitchen table with a coffee cup in her hands
I turned on my heel and started to walk out of the house, back where I came from. When I was walking pass Ethan, who came in behind me, he gripped my hand and pulled me back, that way stopping me from running out of the house.
"Morning!" Stef said with a grin as she looked at us, she slowly lifted the cup up to her lips to sip her drink as she continued to watch us
"Good morning," Ethan replied. I now stood partly behind Ethan. Basically I was hiding behind him, so I don't have to look at Stef.
"Nice shirt!"
Ethan looked down to his shirt, I briefly peaked a look to the front of the shirt. My mouth dropped and my cheeks suddenly felt warm, when I saw that Ethan was wearing the same shirt that I had wore, when I ran to the house to grab the condom last night.
To my horror Ethan did not realize that "Thank you," he replied kindly. I pressed my forehead to Ethan's upper arm, closed my eyes and screwed my face up
Ethan nodded his heads towards Stef, who was wearing her Padres baseball shirt "Padres? Are you a fan?"
"Yes, a big one! Ever since I was a kid!" Stef replied, when I warily I open my eyes and peak a look at Stef
"You want coffee?" Stef asked as she stood up "You two must be exhausted after last night," There it was - the comment! This was the part that I was dreading the most. The hidden hints and jokes about my night.
"Would love some coffee," Ethan replied politely
I could die of embarrassment right about now. The worst part is how casual Ethan is about it all. I don't know if he is acting clueless or if he truly is clueless. Did he not hear what Stef said? She basically asked us if we want coffee, because we didn't sleep the night, because we were having sex!
"Milk or cream?" Stef asked walking over to the counter where the coffee machine stood. She grabbed two cups and put them on the counter.
"Cream," Ethan replied as Stef pour the coffee
I raised my closed fist up to my mouth and bit my knuckles, while pressing my head harder to his back "OH-MY-GOD!" I mouth to myself, as I continued to hide behind Ethan
"I'm going go use the bathroom," Ethan announced and without any warning let go of my hand. All of a sudden I was exposed. I was left alone with Stef, which at the moment, was my worst nightmare! I wanted to run after Ethan and hide in the bathroom with him. I even took a little step after him and reached after him.
Stef walked up to me carrying one of the cups and handed it to me, while smiling at me. It wasn't just a smile, right now it was a smile, that said – I knew what you did last night. I grab the cup from her hand quickly and then avert my look down.
Much to my horror, Stef was not walking back to the table. She stood just few inches away from me, watching me. The grin on her lips was still there, I could feel it. I felt my cheeks get warm again.
I should probably apologize for the last night, but I don't know how. What do I say, how do I say it? How do I form words? Talking to her would probably mean I would have to look her in the eye and I can't do that! Just thinking about forming eye contact with her right now, gave me heart palpitation.
I should have ran when I had the chance!
I heard footsteps coming in the room, hoping it was Ethan, I looked up "Morning love!" I saw Lena walk in instead of Ethan. Of course it wasn't Ethan, he left like 5 seconds ago! Time was dragging in my universe right now, but I knew, Stef was eating this up. She was enjoying this.
The one second, that I spent watching Lena, I was looking to her in horror - Did she know? Did Stef tell her? Will it be awkward around her as well? Lena slowly stopped walking, when she saw how I was watching her. She eyed me closely, I believe she saw the awkwardness between me and Stef.
"Is something wrong?"
Stef rocked back and forth on her feet "Oh, she's just embarrassed, because last we had a little run in,"
"Why would you be embarrassed about that?" Lena asked, looking confused
"She was half ass naked!" Stef explained further in an amused tone as she looked over her shoulder to Lena. Lena raised her eyebrow up and glanced to me, now curious, what would this lead to.
"Please don't!" I mouthed to Stef, when I got the courage to briefly look at her. She smirked back at me.
"They had sex last night!" I dipped my head down and closed my eyes, when Stef informed Lena. My cheeks were bright red and at this point I believe they will stay that way for very long time. I wish the ground would open up and swallow me up! At this point, I was actually starting to think about moving all the way to India.
"What?" Lena exclaimed out shocked
"Callie had sex last night!" Stef repeated, much to my horror
I heard Lena come few steps closer toward me "Did you use protection?" she asked concerned. When I hadn't answered for few seconds, Lena re asked in slightly more demanding, yet still soft voice "Callie, did you use protection?"
"Yes," I said in a barely audible tone, not really sure that Lena heard it, as I ran my fingers over my forehead lightly. I can't believe this was happening again.
"Good! " Lena sighed relieved as I heard her walk to the coffee machine
"Callie was standing in the middle of the room, with a condom in her hand, wearing only Ethan's shirt! It was priceless!" Stef explained to Lena in an amused tone as she walked back to the table
"I'm never going to live this down! You are never letting me live this down, aren't you?" I asked in a flat tone, when I glanced to Stef. I was pretty sure Stef will remind me of this for months, if not forever
"We are good, kiddo. You don't have to be embarrassed about it!" Stef replied as she sat down
"Love, everyone has sex. We are all adults here!" Lena added as she poured herself coffee "It's not a big deal!"
Stef once again chuckled "You are so cute, when you're embarrassed!"
"Cute?" I asked in disbelief as I went to the table to sit down "Cute?" I repeated and looked over my shoulder to Lena, who was coming to the table as well "Do you not realize how freaking humiliating and embarrassing it was for me? And you are enjoying this!" I said upset, when I looked back to Stef, who was still smiling about it
"Oh, honey!" Stef placed her hand on my forearm "You need to learn how to laugh about things like this!" Stef took a quick sip and then turned to her wife "Lena, do you remember how you ran into Brandon one night, when you were staying over?
"Oh, gosh! I had forgotten about that!" Lena said, when she took out cream from the fridge for her coffee "It was the middle of the night, I was wearing only Stef's police uniform shirt and I ran into a 6 year old Brandon, who was going to bathroom!" the story did not help me feel any better. Lena sat down and added cream to her coffee. Once she was done, she left the cream on the middle of the table.
When Stef finally saw how upset and uncomfortable I was about this whole mess, Stef left her cup on the table, stood up and leaned close to my to me "We are no longer talking about it, okay!" Stef placed a kiss to the side of my head and assured me "The topic is closed!" As she walked pass me she ran her hand gently over my back from one shoulder to other
"Thank you!" I whispered back to her, before she walked to the island table to grab the bowl of fresh fruit. I felt a great relief, when Stef had said that she won't bring it up anymore.
When Stef sat back down at the table and placed the bowl of fresh fruit on the middle of the table, the bathroom doors opened and Ethan walked out. Lena grabbed an orange and started to peal it, but Stef grabbed an apple.
"Oh, good morning!" Ethan greeted Lena with a smile on his lips
"Morning, Ethan!" Lena replied
Stef nodded to the counter and lifted the cream closer to Ethan "Coffee on counter, cream for your coffee!" Stef said before taking a bite out of the apple
"Thank you," Ethan smiled back and went to get his cup
"Any plans today?" Lena asked before taking a sip of coffee
"I need to go talk to Jude. After that, no plan,"
Jude POV
I have been awake for few minutes now, but I have been too lazy to get up and roll out of my bed. It's so warm and cozy underneath this blanket that I don't want to leave. As I rolled on my left side, to face the shelf that separates Jesus part of the room from mine, I pulled the blanket up to my chin, thinking that maybe I could get another 15 minutes worth of sleep.
It wasn't long after I had rolled on my side, when I heard the bedroom doors opening slowly. Thinking that Mariana probably came to bother her twin brother with something, I don't even attempt to lift my head up and look. I keep my eyes close and resume to recreate the dream in my mind, that I was having before I woke up this morning.
But as I listened to the footsteps, I realized that those weren't Mariana's footsteps. Her knees cracked, when she kneeled down next to me bed. I felt my bed side shift a little, when she pressed her arms on the edge of my bed. I heard Callie sighs deeply, before she said anything.
"Jude, are you awake?" Callie whispered to me. I felt her fingers run fondly through my hair a moment later.
My mom used to wake me up like that, when I was little. She would crouch down next to my bed, whisper to me "Jude, baby, time to wake up!" and then she would ran her fingers gently through my hair, which basically was the only part of my body, that was not hidden under the blanket.
"Mm-hmm," I hum back, but remain the same way, with my back turned to Callie
"I'm not gonna make excuses this time, Jude!" Callie said in a whisper not to wake up Jesus, who was still sleeping few feet away "I know I screwed up big time by not telling you about Ethan," Callie spoke slower than she does usually, it sounded like she was thinking twice about what to say, before she says it
"I had more than 3 months to tell you. That's plenty of time. There were plenty of opportunities I could have told you about Ethan," Callie continues and resumes to run her fingers through my hair. I don't think Callie has ever sounded so sincere before. It sounds like Callie regrets what she did or to be more correct, didn't do. She knows how I felt about this, because she was in my shoes few weeks ago.
"But I didn't," Callie said regretful. Finally I roll on my other side to face Callie. She smiles at me sadly, when our eyes meet.
"I know I hurt you, I know you feel betrayed, I know you are mad and upset with me. I know that! You have every right to feel that way," Callie paused and for a moment she glanced down, avoiding my look "I do want you to know, that I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry, Jude!" Callie stated quietly, when she looked back at me
The look on Callie's face, was killing me. She looked so remorseful. The fact that she basically was on her knees in front of me, was making this even harder. I started to feel a bit guilty myself now. It wasn't that big of deal, that she had to feel so bad about it. I don't think that I even felt half as guilty about not telling her about Connor as she does about not telling me Ethan.
Sure I was shocked, when I found out about Ethan. Not going to lie, I was a little bit hurt because Callie hadn't told me about him. In comparison with what she did on Christmas, how she just left without saying goodbye and made the decision to give up on me - this was nothing. I wasn't angry with her.
"Can you forgive me?" Callie asked with tears in her eyes
"There is nothing to forgive. I know you are sorry and I know you regret it, just like I did!" I replied without too much of a hesitation. I saw relief in her eyes.
I reach out from underneath the blanket and lift the cover up, asking her to come join me in a cuddle. Callie quickly hopped in the bed next to me and snuggled close to me.
"I love you," Callie whispered
"Love you too!" I replied, when I lowered the blanket, so that it would cover her as well
Stef POV
After eating breakfast, Callie went up to talk to Jude. Which meant that Lena and I were left alone with Ethan. I could tell, just by looking at him, that he was feeling uncomfortable around us. He knew, that we knew, which meant, he was feeling the tension. I guess he acted all tough-shell this morning, because Callie was so embarrassed about last night, so he kind of took the role of – I'm unaffected by this, I will be the strong one, you can lean to me.
I turn to Ethan and thought about saying something along the lines of "You know I'm a cop right?" just to scare him a little, but Ethan beat me
"Before you say anything," Ethan said turning to Lena and I when Callie was out of earshot "I would like to say something," I glanced over the table to Lena, who looked just as intrigued by this as I was
"Sure, go ahead," Lena replied and gestured with her hand to do so
Ethan cleared his throat and straightened his back, as he prepared. He rubbed his hands together nervously before he started "So I think I owe you an apology," my eyebrow raised a little. Ethan glanced between Lena and I constantly, not knowing to which one of us he should be looking at.
"You were kind enough to open the doors to your home to me and let me stay here and I had uh..." his cheeks turned slightly pinkish and he averted his look down to his hands in embarrassment "sexual relations with...with Callie the first night here,"
He nervously touched the frame of his glasses and straightened them, before looking back at us and continuing his little speech "That was very disrespectfully and inappropriate of me. I apologize about my behavior. I do realize that I have overstepped some boundaries. So, uh, if you want me to leave – I can pack my bag and be gone in 5 minutes!"
Ethan just gained my respect with that statement. I think I'm going to like him.
Just when I thought that he was done, he continued "But please, don't kick out Callie! She...she loves it here: she loves you, she loves being close to Jude and she loves being a part of a family!" he detained a little pause before he added "Callie needs you! For all intents and purpose, you are her parents. She sees you as her parents, even thought she is afraid to admit it!"
Once I had listened to everything Ethan had to say, I suck in a breath and glanced to Lena, who sat on the other side of the table. I was still processing everything that was said. My right hand goes up to my face and I press my fingers to my lips, that way partly covering my mouths. I can tell Lena was lost in her thoughts as well, trying to figure out how she feels about him and about what he said.
It was safe to say, Ethan made us both speechless for a little while. The fact that he acknowledge that he and Callie, were disrespectful to some degree by having sex in our house just few house after we all met him, was clearly a surprise. Pleasant surprise. I hadn't expected him to bring that up or to even apologize for it. But like he said, that was disrespectful to us. He is a guest in the house after all.
I mean, I do understand why they did it – they hadn't seen each other since Summer and they clearly missed one another. Of course they wanted to jump on each other the moment they had the chance. To me it was pretty obvious, they cared deeply about each other. Long distance relationship is hard. They wanted to savor the little time they do spend together.
And then there was of course what he said a the end. How Callie needs us and how she sees us as her parents. Lena and I both see Callie as our kid. In our hearts, she has been ours for a while now, but sadly it's not as easy as it looks, because we don't truly know how Callie sees us.
Sure, we have gotten a lot friendlier over the past weeks, she has let us in on some of the deepest secrets that she has, she has let us console and comfort her, but neither one of us really know, how Callie defines our relationship. We are not her foster parents, we are not her guardians, technically, we aren't even her family. We are Jude's family.
DNA doesn't make family, love does - those are Lena's wise words. We like to hold on to these words and cherish them, because by them - Callie is our family. And we really want Callie to be our family. Not just in our hearts, but also on paper.
Lena and I are scared to talk to her about it, because we don't want to scare her away. We want to be extra careful with bringing the adoption subject up. We want her to want it as well. It can't be a one sided wish. Callie's opinion on this matters the most. Until we know for sure, that is what she wants, we won't bring the subject up.
"I'm going to go pack my bag then," It was what Ethan concluded from the long silence, when neither Lena or I spoke up. He stood up, ready to leave.
"No, no!" I snapped out of thoughts and reached out to him, stopping him from walking away up "You don't have to leave,"
"Are you sure?" He asked to double check "You didn't sound too certain about it,"
"We are! You can stay!" I say with more certainty after I exchanged looks with my wife
"You are welcome to stay here till you are flying back," Lena added, with a smile
"I think Lena and I were both thinking about something you mentioned," I admitted as I glance to Lena, she gives a small nod back, telling me I was right
"Oh," Ethan breathed out "The stuff about Callie?" Lena and I both nod back to him "I probably shouldn't have said anything. It's between you and Callie..."
"We are glad you did," I smiled at him
"It was something that we had been wondering about for a while now," Lena said reaching over the table to my take my hand, we grip each others hands tightly yet gently "You gave us a confirmation, that..." Lena glanced to me as she briefly paused and smiled at me "...what we have and how we feel about Callie is mutual!"