Chapter 36 – Home
"So… where is home?" Edward asked me as we entered our hometown border.
"Wherever we can be together," I answered without hesitation.
"Well, the apartment on my parent's property isn't ready to be lived in yet, and I don't think I can stay with you at your dad's place, so…"
"So… what's our third option?" I asked, getting slightly anxious. I really didn't want to separate from him, especially not right then considering all the traumatic memories running through his head. I'd never be able to sleep without him as I spent all night worrying about his frame of mind. Deep down I knew he was so much stronger than he was before, but still, I couldn't even fathom the thought of being away from him right then.
Edward sighed. "I already asked my parents if you can stay with me at their house, and they said yes but that you had issues with my bedroom."
"Oh," I said with a sudden sharp pang shooting right to my chest. I had been so focused on Edward facing his pain, that I almost forgot that I still needed to face mine. "Yeah… I haven't been back there since… that day," I choked out. "I've hardly been back to the house, but I certainly haven't been in your room since I was in there… cleaning."
Edward locked his jaw. "I don't think I'll ever understand why you went there and cleaned all that up. You should have let the housekeeper do it. Or my mom."
"I didn't want to risk Alice seeing it," I mumbled.
"Well, I appreciate that, but still. Now you can't even stand going in there. I honestly don't know where else we can live until the apartment is ready."
I inhaled deeply, and then let it go slowly.
"If you can face that basement, then… I can face your bedroom," I said softly. I meant to sound confident, but I wasn't sure how successful I was.
"Bella, I don't want to stress you out," he replied strongly.
"Well, what's the alternative?" I asked, matching his tone. "Its either we stay together in your room, or we split up until the apartment is ready, and splitting up would be much more stressful for me."
"Are you sure?" he asked skeptically.
"One hundred percent."
"Okay. I'll drive us to your dad's house first so we can explain everything to him, and you can grab anything from there you may want for now. Then we'll head home."
I nodded. "Sounds like a plan."
The moment we pulled up to my dad's house, however, someone was there waiting for me on the porch steps with a big bouquet of flowers, and it wasn't my dad.
I sighed. "He just doesn't give up," I grumbled. "Let me get rid of him," I practically begged Edward. It had been a rough enough day already, I certainly didn't want it to end with an altercation between the two of them.
"Don't worry about it," Edward said, surprisingly calm. I hoped he would just stay in the car until Mike left, but he got out quickly, and before I could get my big fat self out of my seat, Edward was already approaching him.
"Wow! I can't believe you remembered my birthday. I mean, you're a bit late, but it's still a nice gesture. Thanks man!" Edward said to him while taking the flowers out of his hands. "So sweet. Now I feel like shit for all the times we argued in the past," he added before looking back and me and winking. "I'm going to go inside and put these in some water," he said, before surprisingly leaving me alone with Mike.
Mike looked at me just as stunned by the peaceful encounter as I was. "So… uh… I guess you're back with him then?" he said awkwardly.
"Yep… Mike, I told you…"
"I know," he cut me off. "I just had to try one more time. "He better treat you right this time, or he'll have to answer to me."
I laughed once, and then looked at the ground uncomfortably.
"You look beautiful, but the way," he told me while gesturing to my bloated belly. "Just like I always imagined you would at this stage. Of course, I always hoped it would be my baby in there, but still…"
"Uh… thanks," I said, not knowing how else to respond.
He nodded absently. "Okay, well… good luck… with everything... And I do mean that sincerely."
"Thanks," I said again. "Good luck to you too… in whatever your future brings… And I mean that sincerely too."
"Okay… well…" Without warning, he leaned in and kissed my cheek, before turning around and heading straight to his car.
In a way, I was actually glad he had come. We hadn't spoken since my accident, and I knew he was still out there somewhere carrying a torch for me. It was good for him to know we were over once and for all, and for us to both have some closure. Despite not being a good boyfriend, he had been a really good friend for a while, and I truly appreciated that.
Once inside the house, my dad greeted me with a big hug. "I missed you, Bells," he said lovingly.
"I missed you too," I told him.
"Hey, sorry for the ambush out there. Mike text me yesterday asking when you'd be home, and I told him you weren't interested, but he wouldn't quite, so I finally told him you'd be back today sometime. He was here earlier this morning, but I turned him away. I guess he's been out there waiting for a while," Dad explained.
"Its not a problem," I assured him absently as I noticed Edward in the kitchen behind him, placing the flowers in a vase. "What are you doing?" I asked confused.
"What?" Edward asked equally confused.
"What are you doing with the flowers?" I clarified.
"Putting them in a vase of water," he said slowly, clearly unsure what my issue was.
"Why didn't you just throw them away?" I asked, thinking that was the obvious thing to do with unwanted flowers.
"These are good flowers. Why throw them out?" he replied without a hint of sarcasm. When I just stared at him for a moment, he shrugged. "Its not like he went out of his way to buy you some expensive flowers. These are from his grocery store. They're probably yesterday's leftovers."
I laughed at him. I couldn't help it. Edward's reasoning was so funny, but even more than that, I was just so dumbstruck and proud of how mature he was handling everything.
"I love you," I told him as I continued to watch him adoringly.
He smiled back at me. "I love you, too."
When Edward was finally finished arranging the flowers and placing them on my dad's table, the three of us went into the living room to discuss the trip, and what we had decided for our living situation moving forward.
Charlie was understandably concerned by the idea of me moving in full time with Edward and the Cullens, but he was also supportive. He knew it was in our child's best interest to have it's parents living together.
"As long as you promise to bring that baby over here to visit it's old grandpa every once in a while," he told us.
"I promise, dad," I assured him.
I was relieved to have my dad be so understanding about it all, but on our way to the Cullen house, I started to get nervous again. "Are you sure your parents are cool with this?"
"Yeah. Bella, you've practically lived there your whole life already. Hell, you lived there before I did."
"Yeah, but that was different," I pointed out. "They thought we had a different type of relationship."
Edward laughed once. "Well, we did."
"Exactly! So how are they okay with me staying in your room now?… Or are they expecting me to still sleep in your dad's office?" I asked anxiously.
"You're staying in my room with me until the apartment is done," he reiterated. "Look, we're both eighteen, and we're having a baby. They get it, trust me."
"Its going to be super awkward, isn't it?" I whined.
He laughed at me. "Only if you let it be."
"Ugh!" I huffed at him, but he just continued to laugh at me.
I was nervous the rest of the way to the Cullen house, and when we finally pulled up, I was surprised to see their entire family waiting on the porch to greet us - which was a much more welcomed welcoming than what had been waiting for us at my dad's house.
"How did they know we would be getting here right now?" I asked as he parked the car.
"Oh, I text them before we left your dad's," Edward explained. "Don't worry, I warned my mom not to give you any sex talks."
"Har-har, very funny," I grumbled, before following his lead and getting out of the car.
"Well, look at that, he actually came back," Emmett said like a smartass, as Edward began walking towards them.
"I had to. I missed you too damn much," Edward replied, echoing his smartass tone.
"I bet you did. Welcome home, little bro!" Em said while jumping off the porch steps to meet him half way. They hugged each other hello, but Alice was right behind him, and she basically squeezed herself between them before they even had a chance to separate.
"Emmett is cute and all, but I know you missed me more, right?" Alice asked Edward, but despite her funny choice of words, she actually sounded serious, as if she was legitimately worried he missed Emmett more than her.
He smiled at her. "Of course I missed you more," he told her while wrapping his arms around her in the biggest hug I had ever seen him give her before. She had a huge smile on her face as he held her, and she may have even been crying happy tears, which only made the rest of us cry as well.
"I brought you something," he told her after she finally released him.
"You did? Is it gummy bears?" she asked excitedly.
He looked at her with a mix of confusion and humor. "Um… no. Here," he said while pulling a piece of thick paper out of his back pocket, and then handing it to her. She looked at it surprised, and then she unfolded it and immediately started crying again. "You went to the basement?"
I took a step forward to get a better look at what he gave her, and I realized it was the hand print pictures we had found on that little children's table. I didn't even see him take them, but I was so incredibly glad he did. It was a very sweet and beautiful gesture for him to bring them back to her.
"Look how little your hands were," Alice cooed as she marveled over the pictures. Esme approached quietly behind her and looked over her shoulder, and then cried too.
Alice hugged herself against Edward's torso once more, and Esme hugged the both of them, and then Carlisle wrapped his arms around them as well. Of course Emmett wasn't about to be left out of that big family group hug, so he wrapped his arms around them too.
It was so very sweet to see them all together like that; they were finally a whole family again, or perhaps they were actually whole for the first time, since it was only then that everyone was able to finally accept and embrace their true place in the family dynamic.
I wanted to get my phone out and take a picture to capture the moment, but before I was even able to reach for my phone, Emmett grabbed my arm and pulled me into the huddle.
"You're a member of this family too," he told me.
"She certainly is," Esme agreed emotionally.
"She's actually my favorite member," I heard Alice say from somewhere in the group.
"Uh. I'm offended by that statement," Edward's voice grumbled.
"Sorry, it's the truth," Alice defended her words. "I love you most, but I like her better. She's nicer, and far less moody than you."
I couldn't help but smile at that one.
"Alright, well that makes sense," Edward conceded.
"It certainly doesn't!" Emmett protested. "How can you like Bella more than me?"
"You stink," Alice said simply.
"I do not. I smell like roses," Em argued.
"We don't want to hear you talking about smelling like Rose's anything," Edward joked crudely, which pretty much just offended Esme.
"Inappropriate," she scolded him lightly.
"Sorry," Edward apologized.
"How about we all just agree that everyone loves everyone?" Carlisle insisted.
"We do, dad," Alice agreed. "I just happen to like Bella best."
"Okay, okay," Carlisle appeased her, and then everyone let go of each other so we could head into the house.
On our way in, however, Carlisle pulled Edward to the side, placed his hand on the side of his face, and said – "I'm really proud of you, son." It was just another sweet moment, and I could tell it meant a lot to Edward as well.
Thankfully, nothing about the rest of that day was awkward. It was really the first time Edward and I had been a real couple around his family, but nobody seemed to care or get weirded out when he would reach for my hand, or kiss me sweetly on the lips.
The only thing left that I was really concerned with, was going up to Edward's bedroom that night.
"Oh honey, you look exhausted. Why don't you head up to bed," Esme suggested.
"Uh…"
I was about to deny my fatigue, just because I had been stalling my reintroduction to his room since we got home, but Edward refused to let me put it off for a moment longer.
"Come on. Might as well get it over with," he told me encouragingly. He knew I was scared of his room, but he also knew facing that fear was the best way to move forward. He got up from the couch, and then he kissed his two mothers on their cheeks goodnight, before holding his hands out towards me to help me up off the couch.
"Just let me know of you need anything," Esme told me.
"Me too!" Alice added. "Don't worry, Bella, my room is just down the hall. I'll be right in there if you need me. And Edward promised not to cut himself again, so everything should be fine this time."
Edward grimaced at her words, but I knew her heart was in the right place, so I smiled at her, and then let Edward lead me up the stairs.
My heart began to race the closer we got to his room, but right before he opened the door, he paused and looked back at me. "Just take deep breaths," he instructed. "Its not worth you having a panic attack over. We can both sleep in my dad's office if it would make you feel better."
I looked into his deep green eyes, and I must have found the strength I needed, because suddenly I wasn't afraid anymore. "No. As long as you don't disappear on me, I'll be fine."
"I promise I'll never leave you again," he murmured.
"Okay, then let's go inside."
Edward nodded, and then opened the door for me. I took one last deep breath, and then I went inside. That room had been the source of my nightmares for the past several months, but walking back into it with Edward's hand firmly in mine, I immediately realized that it was just a room. The same room it had always been. It wasn't the place that Edward had left me behind anymore, it was the place we would start our new lives together. It wasn't just his room either, it was our room, and our first home together.
"Are you okay?" he asked concerned as I quietly sat on his bed, and looked around wide eyed.
I nodded. "We can put the crib right there," I decided, which made him smile widely.
"Well, hopefully I'll have that apartment finished before its born."
I shrugged. "I know it's a lot of work, and you have a job, and more classes you're taking, so… we will make it work in here. No need to rush."
"You sure?" he asked skeptically.
I nodded. "Positive… Oh, and we can put my mom's rocking chair in that corner," I told him with a twinge of excitement.
"Your mom's rocking chair? Charlie is really willing to part with that?" Edward asked surprised.
"Of course. He bought it for her to rock me in when I was a baby, and he said it was only right that I have it to rock my baby with."
He smiled and nodded. "Okay then. I think it would be perfect right there too."
Suddenly something occurred to me, and I couldn't help but bite my inner cheek as a response.
"What's wrong?" he asked concerned.
"I need to use the bathroom," I said hesitantly.
Edward glanced at the closed bathroom door behind him, and then he looked back at me. "Want me to go in there with you?" he asked, knowing that bathroom had scared me most of all, since it was where I had found him and all his blood.
There had been so much blood.
Even though I was the one who had scrubbed it from top to bottom, I still couldn't even imagine that bathroom without the blood at that point.
"Edward, I love you, but I don't want you in the bathroom with me while I pee," I told him with a mix of humor and fear.
"Uh, I know you didn't read those baby books, but I assure you, in just a few more months, I'm going to see way worse stuff than just your pee."
I giggled at him. "Uh, I think not. You are going to stay up by my head the entire time I give birth."
"What?" he asked with a laugh. "No way! I want to see it all. Your poop coming out as you push…"
"Huh?" I asked disturbed.
"The baby's head ripping everything up down there..."
"That's gross."
"All the puss and blood that comes out with the baby. The afterbirth…"
"Okay, who the hell are you, and where did the real Edward go?" I asked him confused. The Edward I grew up with was a germ-a-phobe that would freak out if he even found a stray hair in the house.
He chuckled. "Nah, I can't wait for all that. I mean, it was all pretty disgusting in the videos I watched, but nothing about you could ever gross me out."
"You watched videos?" I asked confused.
"Yeah, in one of my EMT classes. In the next level of EMT that I'm working towards, I get to actually learn how to deliver a baby. So, I'm thinking about asking your doctor if I can deliver our baby. It would be awesome training. Don't you think?"
I just stared at him in fear and bewilderment.
He raised his brows while shooting me his most adorable crooked smile. "I don't think any other pregnant woman would let me experiment with delivering her baby. I have to do it with ours," he added. "Imagine the great hands-on training I'd get… oh, and you know, bonding with our baby and all that."
I opened my mouth to try to form some kind of response to him, but no words would come out.
"Speechless huh?" he said with laugh. "I know. I'm that excited about it too," he said before kissing my forehead. "Its going to be the best day ever… for me anyway. I'm sure you'll be in a ton of pain."
I stared at him for another minute, before finally deciding what to say next – "I'm going to go in there and use the bathroom before I pee my pants, but… thank you for disturbing me more than I was before. It definitely helped take my mind off of it," I said before getting off the bed, and walking quickly towards the bathroom.
Without giving myself a chance to freak out, I opened the door and flipped the light switch, but then I froze in place…
"Oh, my god," I whispered. The state of that bathroom was so shocking, that I honestly couldn't even move for a moment.
"What's wrong?" Edward asked as I felt him approach from behind, and then he peeked over my shoulder. "What. The. Hell?" he said slowly.
I covered my hand with my mouth to prevent myself from smiling too big. I may have even been crying a little.
"Oh, I just love your family so much," I said as I looked around at the freshly remodeled, and very girly looking bathroom.
Everything was new in there from the tub and sink, to even the tiles on the floor, and it was all painted and decorated in hues of my favorite color. I would have never even guessed it was the same bathroom if I didn't know any better, and I knew the Cullens had done all of it just for me. It was one of the sweetest and most loving gestures I had ever experienced before, and I truly felt like a cherished member of the family.
"Okay, that was cool of them to redo the bathroom for you, but I'm not exactly sure why it had to be so purple."
"Because they know it's my favorite," I said while wiping my tears.
"Yeah, but you're just one person. Two men have to use this bathroom too?"
"Two men?" I questioned amused.
"Yeah, me and our son. I don't think it's very healthy for our son to be stuck using such a girly bathroom. Even if it's only temporary until I get the apartment done."
I giggled. "I think he or she will be okay no matter what color the bathroom is," I said before kissing him tenderly on the lips, and then pushing him out of the room so I could pee in peace.
That night I was relieved and grateful to have a restful night sleep in Edward's arms, and when I woke up in the same exact position the next morning, I knew I had found myself in the best living arrangement possible. It didn't matter that we didn't have our own private house or apartment; we were together, and surrounded by people who loved and supported us unconditionally, and I couldn't think of anything better than that….