Survivor: Bleach Style Chapter 36: Immunity Challenge Blowout!, a bleach fanfic

Ryo: Hi guys! Get ready for the explosive final immunity challenge! Also, thanks for 200 reviews, folks! And our 200th reviewer was…

Jean Kazuhiza!

Have some cookies, my friend! Also, My Guardian, My Love is a success! Thanks for your reviews, guys! Expect the next chapter up soon! Anyways, back to this story, let's go!

Chapter 36: Immunity Challenge Blowout!

Las Noches Tribe…

Cameraman I skips about the camp like that moron he is. I'm staring to seriously think that the producers of the show are giving him drugs to make him this damn perky. Be that as it may, the show must go on. Not that there appears to be a whole lot happening at the moment.

Hanataro is playing fetch with Kaiba and Fluffy, since Fluffy is still upset over Ichigo getting voted off. Yoruichi is sleeping in and Gin is hiding in a nearby palm tree. No, I have no idea why he's climbed up a palm tree armed with only a stick and a few coconuts. Maybe he still thinks Yoruichi and Hanataro are going to hunt him down and do icky things to him.

"Hey! Little scaredy man-like thing!" Cameraman I waves at Gin, holding a bottle of beer in one hand and a case of Mountain Dew. "Come on down, I'll give you some yummy beer and Mountain Dew!"

Gin attempts to climb down, slips, and falls right on top of Yoruichi. What ensues is violence which is not suitable to show the viewing audience…

On the beach…

Aizen doesn't look too happy, in fact he looks downright ticked off. I suppose all the bandages wrapped around his chest isn't making his day any brighter. Then again, it is time for the immunity challenge and I suspect he'll be perking up any moment now.

As if cued the last three remaining survivors traipse onto the beach, Aizen's face breaks into a huge evil grin. The three survivors glance at each other, shudder, and resign themselves to the horrors to come.

"Well good morning to you all. I'm sorry to say my lovely niece will not be joining us today. However I…"

"AIZEN!"

Aizen tries to run, he really does, but the strength and speed of the leader of the Espada is simply no match for the tenacity and determination of a Bleach-obsessed fanatic. Aizen hits the ground face first, with the author sitting on his back.

"How's my favorite villain doing?" Ryo Muang smirked.

"I've been better…" Aizen groaned.

"Well I just popped by to tell you that this immunity actually does matter. You cannot give it away."

Ryo then pats Aizen's head, leaps to his feet, and skips off. Aizen is actually crying with relief at this point…

Somewhere on the island…

"Will you people stop staring at me!"

Everyone jumped as Haruhi's voice cut through the area like a hot knife through butter.

"Yeesh! You'd think I was some kind of freaky monster!"

It should be noted that as she was ranting…she had knocked over three full sized palm trees. Needless to say, things are getting interesting on the island today…

Back on the beach…

"Now then." Aizen dusts himself off, regaining some of his normal evil persona. "Time for the immunity challenge."

As usual there is a universal groan from the survivors, which really isn't as effective as it used to be since there is only three of them left. Aizen's grin widened as he handed each person a map and a pencil.

"The immunity is out there somewhere. What you have is a map of the island. Of course none of the traps, Hollows, or other dangerous things out there are marked on it, hence the reason I was nice enough to give you the pencil. Off you go!"

Gin, Hanataro and Yoruichi glance at each other, not at all sure they really want to go wandering around the island. I mean besides all the Hollows and other dangerous things and creatures that is wandering around, thanks to previous challenges, they all have no doubts that Aizen has other not so pleasant surprises for them.

But as usual they think about that million dollars and off they go. You know I'm starting to think they don't get any royalty checks for any of the games. I mean if they were getting even a small cut of all the Bleach related merchandise out there…well let's just say that a million dollars would be like pocket change.

Anyway…

Yoruichi heads right, Gin heads left, while Hanataro, Kaiba, and Fluffy go up the middle. Sounds like a bad pass play in football. Be that as it may, they are off like fangirls…wait for it…on mixed drugs and beer.

I bet you thought I was going to say crack didn't you? Well you were WRONG…MWAHAHAHAHA…

Ahem…but I digress…

Yoruichi's location…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Yoruichi ran by doing about fifty miles an hour, which I think it's possible for her since she is the former general of the Special Forces and nicknamed 'the goddess of flash' back in Soul Society, followed closely by six Hollows, three Menos Grandes, and two Adjuchas with machine guns. I guess it's pretty obvious she is not having any luck finding that immunity item.

Gin's location…

Oh look, Gin found the Vasto Lorde from the last immunity challenge…how nice…

Hanataro's location…

"Good boy Kaiba!"

Hanataro pats Kaiba on the head. Kaiba jumps up and down, dropping the upper half of a hollow on the ground. Fluffy comes hopping up, an Adjuchas hanging out of his rather large mouth.

"Good boy Fluffy, now drop the Adjuchas."

Fluffy does, as Hanataro pats him on the head. The Adjuchas quickly dissolves, leaving behind only a machine gun and several clips. Hanataro grabs the gun and clips, then tosses Fluffy and Kaiba a couple of Milk Bones and consults his map.

"Well, looks like we've got this area pretty much cleaned out. On to the next!"

Somewhere on the island…

The former tree-bound, and now completely-lost survivors, stop to take a break near a small stream. Everyone is still staring at Haruhi like she might decide to turn into Charles Manson and go on a sadistic Gin-like crazy killing spree. Seeing as how we've already seen several of the survivors do Aizen-like violence, it might be interesting to see some Gin-like craziness…at least it would break the monotony.

Haruhi of course is ignoring this. In fact she appears to be acting a bit more like Aizen than perhaps everyone present if comfortable with. With the exception of Byakuya, Uryu and Hisagi, who think it's kinda sexy.

"Ok, we have…to…go…" Haruhi trails off as six Hollows, three Menos Grandes, and two Adjuchas…with machine guns…go running by screaming like five year old girls. Several silent seconds pass, while the former survivors try to figure out just what the hell is going on. Then the silence is broken by a loud Xena: Warrior Princess yell and a strange flapping noise.

"HOLY SHIT!" Haruhi dives out of the way as Yoruichi goes hopping by at top speed. I should mention the reason she is hopping is because she is riding a very large Panther-like Adjuchas at the moment. Perhaps maybe having just Kaiba is not enough, who knows. Be that as it may, Yoruichi is currently in hot pursuit of her former tormenters. As she passes out of the clearing, Haruhi sits up…brushing some twigs out her hair.

"And you guys were staring at me like I was some kind of freak."

Gin's Location…

Apparently Gin has somehow managed to lose the Vasto Lorde that was following him. In fact he looks very, very relaxed as he…uh…err…arranges flowers. I know, I know, it's creeping me out too. In fact, the only thing creepier than Gin doing lovely flower arrangements is the fact that he's got help from the plant monster from Chapter 28.

"Oh that is just lovely!" Gin squeals, beaming up at the plant monster. "You're very good at this."

Suddenly the camera blinks out and various strange noises are heard. Umm…trust me, you don't want to know what is going on, you'll just get sick…

Hanataro's Location…

"Hrmmm…" Hanataro looks at the can for a moment or two before tossing it over his shoulder. "I don't really care much for canned aerosol cheese. Come on Fluffy and Kaiba."

The two pets yip with happiness and quickly follow Hanataro toward a very strange looking stone structure…

Somewhere on the Island…

"I think…OWWW!"

Haruhi stumbles as a can of aerosol cheese bounces off her head and lands in the bushes. She then indulges in a bit of Aizen-like anger, which sort of makes sense because she is Aizen's niece after all, by snapping several palm trees in half. While she's doing that, Momo retrieves the can of cheese.

"Ummm, is anybody hungry enough to actually eat this?"

There is a universal NO from the former survivors. Momo prepares to toss the can back into the bushes when Tosen snags it out of her hand.

"I have an idea. According to my calculations the chemical makeup of aerosol cheese is consistent with several ingredients found in paint and concrete. I believe we can utilize this to our advantage." Tosen said. You can hear the sounds of various jungle animals in the silence that follows Tosen's extremely technical explanation of aerosol cheese. "Umm, that is…"

"What's the plan?" Haruhi snaps, finishing off her last palm tree and cracking her neck. "I understand that aerosol cheese is highly dense and has the same hardening agent as glue, but I do not quite see how that is going to be a benefit to us."

You can now add Tosen to the list of people who now find Haruhi irresistibly sexy. The fact that the four men now drool every time Haruhi bends over does not appear to be pleasing any of the women present, especially Rangiku, who is now fuming angrily because Haruhi is now getting more sexier and hotter than her and her breasts.

"Well, since the cheese will harden relatively fast and will not dissipate for quite some time, I thought we could use it to signal for help. The fact that the cheese is colored with yellow dye number five and orange dye number seven is an added bonus, as it will make the message that much easier to see." Tosen explained.

There is a slight muffle as the survivors turn their heads from Tosen to Haruhi, looking for an explanation.

"I see, we could use the cheese to write a help message. A very good idea Tosie." Haruhi said.

The nickname 'Tosie' made Tosen blushes a bright crimson, making the other three men gag. Szayel still thinks Haruhi is his Mommy, so he's not currently a love interest at this time. The women are glaring daggers at Haruhi, while Tosen writes the message.

The plan goes relatively well, until the scent of aerosol cheese reached the nostrils of the nearby Vasto Lorde. Everything sort of goes to hell from there as the Vasto Lorde comes crashing into the clearing and chases after our poor formerly tree bound survivors…

Yoruichi's Location…

Yoruichi slows Liu Kang to a stop and hops to the ground, glancing at her map. It would appear that Yoruichi is a rather large fan of Mortal Kombat, hence the reason she has named the Adjuchas, Liu Kang. If you haven't already realized it, which I'm pretty sure you have, these people are not right…not in the slightest.

"Let's see here…ummm…" As Yoruichi looks over her map, trying to figure out where the hell she is, Liu Kang hops around eating random hollows that wander into his path. After several minutes she finally realizes, after seeing Aizen in a lawn chair, that she is back on the beach. This observation results is a long string of very unladylike obscenities that are not fit for the viewing audience.

Aizen is finding it very amusing…until Yoruichi hops back on Liu Kang and starts chasing after him…

Gin's Location…

"This is really nice of you."

The plant monster, hereafter referred to as Samus…Gin is a fan of Metroid, go figure…shakes one of its vines at him, rather lovingly I might add, as she carries him through the jungle.

Let's see what Hanataro is up to before I throw up…

Brad's Location…

Hanataro comes flying out of the freaky temple astride Fluffy, with Kaiba just a step behind, and several dozen giant spiders running after them. I guess Aizen wasn't lying when he said he'd put out some traps. On the plus side, Hanataro is holding the immunity necklace…Momo's armband…and has Tetsuzaemon Iba riding behind him. I was kinda wondering where he went after that one immunity challenge…

Somewhere on the Island…

"RUN FASTER!"

Haruhi is leading the pack, with Sparky and his brother in her bra, and Szayel riding piggyback. Byakuya is just behind with Chad, who has fainted, flung over his shoulder. Tosen and Uryu are running a close third carrying Momo, who has fainted as well. Toshiro and Rangiku are running neck and neck in fourth place, carrying Hisagi who is babbling like an idiot. Soi Fon is bringing up the rear, screaming her head off, and no one seems to care. In fact it looks like everyone is hoping she gets eaten sometime in the next two minutes, by the Vasto Lorde that is still chasing them in hopes to slow the Vasto Lorde down.

Just as the former survivors burst into a huge clearing, Haruhi runs face first into Aizen. As they both topple to the ground, Yoruichi leaps over them on Liu Kang and accidentally lands on Toshiro, Rangiku and Hisagi. Two seconds later Gin and Samus come onto the scene, trip over Aizen and Haruhi and land on top of poor Byakuya and Chad. If this wasn't bad enough, suddenly Hanataro, Kaiba, and Fluffy arrive on the scene, trip over the people who have already fallen to the ground and land on top of poor Tosen, Uryu and Momo.

There is several moans of pain, mixed with screaming from Soi Fon…Liu Kang is trying to eat her…as the three dozen giant spiders appear on the scene. What happens next can only be described as uncontrolled chaos.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Haruhi shrieked as she is strangling Aizen with extreme prejudice, while poor Szayel lays unconscious, and Sparky is trying to nibble off Aizen's ear. Needless to say, Aizen is freaking out right now.

Byakuya, Hisagi, Uryu and Tosen are all trying to kill each other over Haruhi.

Rangiku, Chad, Momo and Toshiro are all trying desperately to kill Soi Fon.

Hanataro, Yoruichi and Gin are fighting over the immunity item while their respective pets fight each other and Iba screams his head off for no apparent reason.

During this giant free for all the three dozen giant spiders and the Vasto Lorde just point and laugh at the madness. Finally Hanataro manages to shove the armband into Aizen's hand, completely by accident I might add, and the immunity challenge is over.

The show's Producer soon breaks up the fight, sicking the three dozen giant spiders and the Vasto Lorde on the former survivors. While the severely wounded former survivors, and Iba, run off into the jungle with their pursuers close behind, the Producer herds the three contestants and their pets back to camp, reminding them about the tribal council meeting that night. She then carts off a comatose Aizen into a nearby chopper for some medical attention…

Next Time on Survivor…

Who will become the final jury member?

Ryo: Hanataro has the immunity and he will also be the one who decides who get voted off next. Will it be Yoruichi or Gin? Stay tune for the next tribal council! The competition and torment is about to come to an end!