So, when I initially wrote this, I was a sobbing mess. Just warning you. Might need that box of Kleenex.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

BPOV

The sun shone through Edward's bedroom window, the heat warming my face as it woke me from my sleep. In all honesty, I hadn't expected to get much sleep that night. Not with knowing that I was going to do what I'd never dreamed of doing so soon the day after. The mere fact that I'd be in Forks after one sleep had me trembling. And that's usually how it always was before I had my nightmares. But that night, there was nothing. No dreams, no nightmares. Just sleep. It almost felt… relaxing. Calming, even. The fact that I had nothing on my mind before doing the unimaginable made me feel slightly better.

But there must've been a reason for this. Of course, it didn't take me long to figure it all out.

That night had been the very first that I fell asleep in Edward's arms.

And with him, there was really nothing to be afraid of. I guess my entire mind knew that too, considering everything that I'd been through. The things that would terrify me completely in the past were nothing when I was with Edward. Though I never really depended on anyone my entire life, it was the first time when I'd realized that I would be nothing without Edward. He was my rock, my soul, the one that completed me, all that corny crap. I would've laughed at myself in the past for saying those kinds of things, but this was a whole new me.

And really, this was the only 'me' that I liked.

I turned to my side, focusing on Edward's sleeping body and realized something that I never would've thought possible. I wasn't scared. I was ready for just about anything.

And I was happy. Completely, entirely happy.

The night before was nothing I'd ever experienced. I poured my entire soul out to Edward. Showed him everything. More so, I did my best to show him how much he meant to me.

And, for the first time in God knows how long, I made a promise. A real one. That we'd be together forever, through anything. And it was indefinitely a promise that I was going to keep.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched him sleep, his back raising with every breath. He looked so beautiful when he was asleep. Not like he wasn't when he was awake, but this brought another kind of beauty. The worried expression he wore the last few weeks before was smoothed out. He really just looked like a kid again. At that moment, I really wanted nothing else but to wake up to that moment every single day.

The awareness of what I had just thought struck me.

I mean, I already knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Edward. It was obvious that was really the only way I would've been able to live. But to wake up beside him every morning really meant to live with him.

Are you really ready for that Bella?

I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts away. That was something I'd deal with later. For now, there were other things on hand.

As much as I didn't want to, I began to attempt to wake Edward up.

"Edward." I whispered, lifting my hand from my side to push back a few strands of his copper hair from his face. "Edward, time to get up."

I couldn't help but giggle a bit as he let out a deep breath and grumbled, obviously not ready to wake up yet. Attempting once more, I slid a bit closer to him and stroked his cheek as I called his name once more. Grumbling once more, he surprised me by wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me to him even more. I bit my bottom lip, trying not to be loud by laughing. Even though it really wouldn't make much of a difference. Considering how large the house was, not to mention the fact that Carlisle and Esme's room was quite a distance away from Edward's, they wouldn't have been disrupted. And, hell, I was pretty sure laughing would've been a bitter sound to them than our sex sounds the night before.

"Edward, come on." I giggled, trying to pull away but his arm wouldn't budge. He nuzzled his head into my neck and took in a deep breath.

"I don't want to." He pouted, finally breaking my control as I started laughing. He nuzzled even more and I felt him kiss my neck when I started to run my fingers through his hair. Even though I pushed those thoughts away, I couldn't help but smile thinking of waking up like this every morning.

Too soon or not, I wanted this.

But at the same time, I couldn't force myself onto Edward like that. I would wait until he asked me. Problem was, I didn't know what he'd ask. But, I'd wait nonetheless.

"Edward, no more snuggling. It's time to get up." I began to scold him and try to pull away before I felt his lips trail their way up my neck and to my jaw. Letting out a shuddering breath, I closed my eyes and relished the feeling but trying to gain control once more at the same time.

"Edward," I started again, though it sounded more like a half-moan. "We have to get ready to leave for Forks."

I shuddered again, but this time it wasn't because of Edward.

It's time for everything to be real again.

I was ready, and I was going to go. But I was still completely terrified, especially with not knowing what to expect. Four years later, what would be the same? What would've changed? Would I be recognized?

I was lost in my thoughts again, not realizing Edward had fully woken. He had propped himself on one arm and watched me as I thought of every scenario possible. His worried expression was back once more as his green eyes watched my every expression.

He lifted his free hand, smoothing out the skin between my eyebrows.

"Stop it." Edward whispered, not saying anymore. He didn't need to. I understood what he was trying to say, and he was right. I needed to stop freaking myself out anymore than I was already.

He leaned over and kissed me softly on my lips before getting up and putting his briefs on. He grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt out of his drawer, passing them to me to put them on before we made our way to the washroom to get ready.

Esme and Carlisle were obviously worried about our quick decision to head down to Forks, but they didn't stop us. I wasn't sure if I felt relieved, or disappointed, really. They both took me in their embrace and reassured me as much as they could before letting us go. I thought I would've started crying right there when I saw Esme's eyes glass with unshed tears, but there was nothing. No tears, no lump in my throat. Just, nothing. I was upset, but there was nothing else to show that I was but my expression.

The drive to Forks wasn't too long. Edward had kept his fingers laced with mine throughout the entire drive, kissing the back of my hand or my knuckles several times throughout the drive. But we spoke of nothing. The silence in the car was deafening. But it almost seemed necessary.

I glanced over at Edward frequently, his expression always the same. Worried, always worried. I missed just seeing him happy. I squeezed his hand at one point, making him turn over to me. He must've understood what I was feeling, giving me a small smile in reassurance. Problem was, that did nothing for me but make it worse. Nothing was worse than a smile that never reached his eyes. And that's exactly what it was.

I wasn't sure how long I was in my own daze for until I broke out of it once I saw the city sign.

The City of Forks Welcomes You.

I'm sure it did.

I could feel my heart pace begin to increase as we passed by my childhood memories.

Everything was the same. It was funny how I'd expected everything to change, but it was always the same. I recognized some faces as we drove by as well, but I couldn't bring myself to look at them directly. Edward's car was obviously not one that was regularly seen in Forks, so eyes would've been drawn to it. I didn't want people to recognize me as we drove by. I wasn't ready for that yet, not knowing what kind of welcome I would've received.

We passed by Forks High School just as students were getting out for lunch. I couldn't stand high school when I was a teenager, but passing by, I almost missed it. I missed out on so many different experiences that high school brought through being so selfish and naïve. Prom, especially. It was ironic how I was so hell bent on getting out of high school, ready to be an adult while still a teenager. And now, I was aching to have those teenage memories once more.

I gave Edward the directions before we had left when he asked me, clearly knowing that I would've wanted to take in everything rather than focus on how to get to our destination. I made sure to avoid the area of the crash. The Forks officers had told me about building something there in memory of my parents before I had left, so I didn't want to pass by it yet. No, that wouldn't be first.

Our first stop would be the Forks cemetery.

I thought my heart basically stopped beating as we drove into the cemetery gates. Edward parked the car, getting out quickly and opening the door for me. But I couldn't move. I remained frozen in my seat, looking out into the cemetery. I could almost see the trail my mind made for me, leading me directly to my parents' graves.

"Bella, come on." Edward whispered, reaching his hand out for me to take. "You can do this."

I took in a deep breath, nodding my head slowly, and placed my hand in his. Just placing my foot on the grass beneath me sent tremors through my skin. I instantly remembered the first time I had come to see my parents, my legs dragging me to their grave. It was as if they had a mind of their own. Even though I was terrified to see their grave, my body acted on its own.

And then, right then, it was as if I was a scared child once more.

I started to walk, knowing exactly where to go. For once, the sun shone bright in Forks. But there was just silence. I just walked, passing my other graves on my way. There were hundreds, but I saw none of them. As I kept walking, I saw the only one that I could really see in the distance. My body felt several times heavier than I was, but I kept dragging myself to where I was needed most.

Time seemed to pass by slower, the distance seemed to be longer. I took deep breaths, waiting for the tears to come, but there was nothing. I was numb. But it didn't matter to me. I pushed away my inner demons, freeing myself of any bounds that kept me from seeing my parents.

I was close enough to their grave to see the inscription on their tomb stone.

Chief Charlie Swan.

Renee Swan.

Loving parents.

I wasn't able to read the entire inscription before it happened.

I broke. My knees hit the wet grass as I collapsed onto them, my hand extended slightly as if I was reaching out to them. I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks as I stared at their grave. I remembered everything again.

The next thing I knew, I was out of the car and slowly walking towards the flashing lights. I didn't know if it was the alcohol or not, but I needed to be there.

As I got closer, I noticed what had happened. There was a car accident.

A sob left my throat as I ran the tips of my fingers down the hard rock, the memory of that night fresh in my mind once more.

That part of me slowly faded as I saw the other car. Believe it or not, it was even worse off than Jake's car was. But that wasn't the worst part. It was a police cruiser.

Charlie.

I started running, pushing away anyone near me. The next thing I knew, I was being held back by an officer, but not before I took everything in.

My body shook with every sob and every muffled apology I sputtered through them.

Body bags. Two of them.

There were a few officers surrounding them. One bag had been zipped shut, and an officer was zipping another one as I watched. But not before I saw the single most terrifying and heartbreaking sight I had seen in my life.

My mother's face.

"I'm so sorry. Please." I begged, my sobs becoming louder as I let everything go.

I felt like I had lost them once more. I could feel the emptiness crawling back, trying to fill itself in me once more before I felt warmth engulf me. There was no need to turn, because I knew what it was.

Edward had been with me the entire time, watching as I made my way to their grave. I knew he wanted me to do what I had to, but he couldn't have only watched me. He wrapped his arms around my waist as he knelt behind me, pushing the emptiness away once more. I continued to sob as he held me tightly, letting four years of pain wash away.

I cried for my parents. I cried for my loss. I cried for everything that they lost, not what I had. And I cried for all the moments in my life where my parents would've loved to see. All my accomplishments through my hard work. Meeting the man I loved. Having children, getting married, seeing my children married. They lost all of that.

I did my best to control my sobs enough to be able to speak. I wanted to let everything out. This was my only chance.

"Hi Mom. Hi Dad. It's Bella." Edward's arms tightened around me even more and I leaned back on him, needing him more than anything. "I hope you guys aren't mad at me."

The tears kept flowing as I let go, not holding anything back. No hesitation. No thinking.

Just me.

"I understand if you are. I'm mad at myself. It's been too long since I've seen you guys. I've missed you, more than anything. I've done whatever I could to keep you guys with me. I even went to NYU. Thanks for being so damn intuitive Mom."

"You know what Isabella Swan. Motherly senses."

"Mom, I know you pull it off as motherly senses, but I'm really hoping it's not some paranoid telepathy. This is a little unhealthy."

The memories flashed by me as I continued to speak through my tears, but I wouldn't stop.

"I've finished my undergraduate, and now waiting for grad school. I'm doing my best to make you guys proud of me, even throughout everything I've put you two through. I don't know how you guys dealt with me. You must've loved me a lot."

We can't believe how fast you've grown Isabella. And now, we can't wait to watch you grow into the beautiful, intelligent, inspiring woman you were always destined to be. Always know that there are always endless opportunities no matter where you are.

If you've reached the sky, know that you have yet to reach the stars.

Love forever and always,

Mom and Dad

I wrapped my arms around Edward's, bracing myself for everything was about to come.

"I'm so, so sorry. There are so many things that I could've done instead, and you two would've been alive. I'd have been able to see you guys and hear your voices every day. I would have my parents with me. You two were the only ones that understood me and didn't treat me like a stupid kid. The only two that I loved more than anything in the world. And I lost you both.

I dreamt of you two every night. Every single goddamn night. And if it started out good, it always ended bad. I'd always see myself in Jacob's car, looking out and seeing your faces before the cars crashed. It was always my fault. I could've stopped him. And I'm sorry. I understand if you'd never forgive me, because in a way, I don't think I ever can either. But I love you Dad. I love you Mom. More than anything. I'd do anything to have you both back."

I stopped, trying to take in deep breaths but couldn't. I could barely breath, my sobs taking more oxygen, leaving nothing for my lungs. I felt Edward lay his forehead on my shoulder, and I focused on that while trying to breathe. It seemingly worked, but I couldn't stay silent for much longer. There was more.

"But I know that there's nothing that I can do. The most that I can do is keep you two in my heart, and that's what I'll always do. You may not be with me in body, but you'll always be in my heart until the day it starts beating. And even then, you'll be with me. I'll never let you two go. And I know you're always watching down on me. I hope you're not upset with how I've lived the last few years, but everything's slowly changed. I've found myself again, even though I thought it was impossible. I never thought I could be happy again after I lost you two. But this happiness I feel now, it's real. And there's only one reason behind it."

I reached one arm around me and set my hand on the back of Edward's neck, taking in a needed deep breath as I did. I could feel myself ease slightly with the touch, giving me the push I needed to continue.

"Mom, Dad. This is Edward, my boyfriend."

I felt his head raise from my shoulder in surprise and I gently stroked the back of his neck with my thumb.

"Well, boyfriend doesn't really seem like a term for him to be honest. He's the only man I've ever let myself love. Other than you Dad, of course. Edward's the only one I'll ever love. I don't know what I did that made God change his mind and let him in my life, but I've never been so grateful. Maybe, in a way, this is how he forgave me? I don't even know. But what I do know is that I would never have been here if it weren't for him. He brought me back to life, piece by piece. I love him more than anything. I could tell you all the good things about him, but we'd really be sitting here forever."

I surprised myself by letting out a small laugh and felt my tears slowly dry up. My breathing slowly became less frantic, though I felt weak from crying as hard as I had.

"I really hope you two forgive me. I'm not sure how I can make it up to you though. What about a compromise?"

I laughed again as memories came back to me once more.

"Okay, okay fine. How about this mom? Dad? We'll compromise?" I smiled, as I waited on their answer.

Renee's face definitely changed. I knew she'd be up for it, my compromises always worked out. Mom looked up to Dad. My dad didn't look that happy, but I did sense that a small bit of him was willing. Come on Charlie, you know you want to. I was still smiling, waiting on him.

He sighed. "Okay Bella, let's hear it."

"How's this? I'll come by as often as I can, even more if that. Holidays, birthdays, time off, whatever. Whenever I have a break, I'll be on the first place out here. We'll do this as often as possible. There's nothing else I want but to see you two every single day."

After what seemed like an eternity, Dad finally spoke up. "Okay, Bella. You promised, and your mom and I would be very upset if you didn't keep your word. Do you promise?"

I groaned. "Yes, yes. Of course I promise. I always keep my word on the compromises, you guys both know that."

I took in one last shuddering breath, tightening my fingers on Edward's hold around me.

"I promise."

We sat there motionless, our breathing the only sounds in the cemetery other than the nature around us. After a short while, I pulled my head away from Edward's and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Ready to go?" I asked and he nodded, standing up and pulling me with him. Once I was fully standing, I reached my arms around his neck and placed my lips on his. "I love you."

Edward kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around me again before turning us to my parents' grave once more.

"We'll see you soon Chief Swan. Mrs. Swan." He said softly, his voice slightly raspy as he did. The experience with my parents had had a toll on him as well I noticed. I hadn't wanted him to be upset about it, but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. There was nothing else I wanted than for us both to share our experiences, whether they were good or bad. And that's exactly what he did. And he felt the same way.

We walked back to his car, his arm around my shoulders while mine was around his waist. But this time, it wasn't completely silent in the cemetery. The sounds of the many kinds of birds and small animals around us were everywhere. They brought life to the cemetery, which seemed to be completely insane but at the same time, it wouldn't have been better any other way.

As Edward opened my door and I sat in, I pulled down the mirror to try to fix myself up a bit before heading anywhere else. I pulled it down too far, but gasped when I saw my reflection.

On my shoulder, where Edward had rested his forehead shortly before, they was a slightly dried wetness. I was confused at first, but then it hit me.

His raspy voice as he said goodbye. My tear stained shirt.

Edward had been crying.

He felt the loss just as I had. Though he obviously tried to hide it for my sake, I couldn't explain how I felt knowing that he had been affected as hard as I had. But no matter how I felt, it was nothing negative. In fact, at that point I knew that I would never regret what I had done today.

My life was finally together again.

Forever and always.

Yeah, just reading it now makes me tear up. Dear Lord, I'm a sap.
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