#35

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A few hours later I was awoken by the feeling of someone snuggling up to me as I laid on my side. Slowly opening my eyes I saw that it was Mia and she was still asleep. Kissing her hair I slowly brushed my fingers through it, knowing that this small moment of peace wasn't going to last that the chaos of last night had tainted the next few weeks of happiness.

Hearing someone in the kitchen and hushed tones I got out of bed noticing Vic's absence from it. Quietly I walked down the hall and into the living room. Seeing a blanket thrown on the couch and the TV turned on I continued on to the kitchen where the whispers where coming from.

"Where's my Dad?" Vic asked from his spot on the counter.

"He's away kid. Where does your Mom keep the food?" Tig asked looking around the probably empty cabinets.

"We haven't been here in four months Tig I doubt there's anything here that they can eat," I replied answering his question as I walked into the room.

"When'd you get up?' he asked.

"A few minutes ago. The Mommy clock never goes away. Vic go lay with your sister you can watch TV in my room," I said helping the little boy down from the counter.

I waited until I heard Jesse following Vic into my room.

"What are you still doing here Tig?" I asked arms crossing against my chest.

"I wasn't going to just leave you here alone with the kids after last night. Besides we need to talk about some stuff."

"I'm not talking about anything Tig. I have to be done with this at least for right now. This baby is too important to me and I refuse to risk my child's life over something as stupid as him going inside again over a parole violation."

"There's things he has to do Lela. We all need something on the outside to keep our heads straight while we are on the inside, you and those kids are it for him. A man like that can't go in there having lost everything. He'll go in and then come right back out as soon as we can get him out of there."

"That's what you all told Luanne about Otto. Your forgetting I was there that summer when he went in. I know how this works and when someone is as good at their job as Hap is at his they rarely get out when you all say he will."

We stood there in silence the only noise was coming from the TV in the living room and Buzz's nails hitting the floor as he walked around.

"Did you cut yourself last night?" Tig asked looking at me with a worried expression.

"No why?" I asked looking down at my legs where he was looking.

There it was a trail of blood going down my leg. Here it was the beginning of the end, I'd seen it happen this way before. I had hope that maybe because I was further along that this wouldn't happen but here it was.

"Um. Okay I need you to call Gemma or Lyla, just someone to come watch the kids," I told Tig never looking up at him.

"What? Oh. . . yeah. Should you sit down or something?" he asked robotically taking his phone out of his pocket.

"No, the cramps aren't that bad yet. I just need you to get someone here to watch the kids. I am going to go get my purse and kiss my kids while you do that. Can you do that Tig?" I asked making sure he was okay.

"Just go get your bag," he replied.

Nodding my head I walked back to my room. Seeing a still sleeping Mia in bed and Vic silently watching cartoons with Jesse lying next to him I smiled. No matter what happened I still had those two, they were my babies, my first ones.

"Vic," I whispered making sure to not wake up Mia.

Turning away from the TV he looked at me with a blank expression.

"I have to go to the doctors for a bit okay? Can you watch your sister and help whoever comes to watch you guys?" I asked him from the door way.

"What's wrong Mama?" he asked suddenly concerned.

"It's nothing baby. I just have to go to the doctor that takes care of babies while they are in Mommy's tummies. But can you be a big boy for me?" I asked him as I walked over to where he was sitting.

Jesse lifted her head and her tail began to thump on the bed. As I kneeled down I scratched her head and looked at Vic.

"I can help," he stated.

"That's my big boy. Mama loves you okay," I whispered wrapping an arm around him and kissing his curly hair.

"Mom gross," he whined and tried to push me away.

"Sorry I forget sometimes how old you are," I said smiling at him.

"Gemma's here Lela. We should get going," Tig said coming into the room.

Nodding my head I went to the dresser by the door and grabbed it along with my phone on the night stand.

"Be good for Gemma and please help with your sister Vic," I told him as I started for the bedroom door.

"Okay," he replied already lost in whatever show was on.

Sighing I walked back down the hall and saw Gemma picking up Tig's mess from the night before.

"Thanks for coming over at the last minute. I just need to make sure this is what I think it is and see what's going to happen," I told her as I slipped into a black zip up not caring I was in a pair of light grey workout shorts and a cami with no bra.

"Everything is going to be fine here. Just focus on you and that baby," she replied smiling at me.

Nodding my head I went to the front door and put on a pair of black flip flops and waited for Tig by the door.

"Come on baby girl," he said giving me a sad smile and placing a hand on my back as we walked to the car.

The drive to the hospital was silent. I spent most of it trying to avoid any contact with the bump and looking outside the passenger window as he drove.

"I thought that I'd get to keep this one," I told him as we hit a stop light.

"You are."

"No I'm not Tig. I've been through this to many times to have that type of faith. After this I'm done, I'm happy with Vic and Mia I don't need anymore."

"Shouldn't you be telling this to Happy?" he questioned as he turned on the blinker.

"We don't talk about this. I mean we get excited and are happy but we don't talk about the miscarriages and if we want to try again. They just sort of happen," I explained turning my head to look at him.

"You should probably talk about that shit baby girl."

"We should probably already be divorced. But we aren't that type of couple. It's always been if it happens it happens and we'll go from there."

After a few silent minutes he stopped the car and turned it off.

"We're here. You okay?" he asked

"No I'm not but I don't have a choice here," I replied picking uo my bag and opening the car door.

Silently we walked into the ER.

"Can I help you?" a nurse at the desk asked.

"Lela?" Tara asked as she walked out of the double doors.

"Hi Tara. Um I need to check in," I said turning back to the nurse.

"What's wrong?" Tara asked coming up to us.

"I think I'm having a miscarriage, I'm not sure though," I told her suddenly feeling nervous.

"Mara I need you to page whoever's on call for OB and I need someone to do her intake papers," Tara said something instantly clicking in her.

I silently followed her into the back as she told other nurses what she needed. Once I got in a bed she closed the curtain behind her and turned to me.

"Are you okay?" she asked looking sincere.

"Honestly I'm trying not to think about it. This would have been the furthest I've ever gotten with a pregnancy."

"That's good though Lela. If there's still a heartbeat there's drugs we can give you to stop labor and we can try to get this baby to stay in longer."

"But what if there isn't Tara. With my history."

"We'll think about that when we get to it. But for now we are going to believe that that baby is alive."

Before any of us could say anything else a nurse came in with an ultrasound machine.

A few moments later I let out a breath I hadn't even realized I was holding when the sound of the heartbeat echoed in the room.

I couldn't help the tears and the silent sob that escaped in hearing that sound.