Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or One Piece. I need to do something important with my life or I'm going to be very upset with myself when I die. I can't draw so making a manga series is out of the question even though I have pilots for three different series in my head all set and ready to roll (I think about random things A LOT), so I'd better either become a world-class MMA fighter (yeah, because I'm that lucky), or I'd better end up running a TV station after I graduate and work my way up the ladder (also unlikely because the job market is going to be even more of a fickle bitch by the time I graduate).

Well, when I graduate I guess I'm moving to Canada… or Australia.

…None of this had anything to do with me not owning Naruto or One Piece…

Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter 35: Dead End Friends

Luffy had managed to bring down not only the giant Oars, but Gekko Moriah himself. The guy was seriously a tough bastard. Luffy was seventeen and was beating on pirates that had been deemed by others to be unbeatable forces in the ocean. It reminded him of himself and Akatsuki back in the day in a twisted sort of way, although instead of being hunted by the Shichibukai the way Naruto had been Luffy just kept running into them and fighting them out of necessary circumstance.

After the battle everyone was quite beaten up, especially Luffy who remained sleeping even when everyone else had managed to get a few winks in after they were treated medically. Naruto himself had some wear and tear from fighting Kuma, but it wasn't anything that he couldn't walk off in a short while.

Ever the forager, Naruto let the crew rest and decided to pick through what was left of Moriah's mansion to find something useful to loot before going to see them, "There isn't a damn thing anywhere in this place worth taking." Naruto muttered to himself as he walked outside of the remnants of the building to the ruined courtyard where much of the fight with Oars took place.

"That's because Nami had it cleared out the second she was able to, back when she was with you."

Naruto looked off to the side to see Robin sitting serenely at the top of a rubble heap, on a fallen pillar in particular. She was just sitting, seemingly waiting with a small smile on her face. Upon getting Naruto's attention, Robin kept speaking, "All of the people that wound up with their shadows returned after Luffy defeated Moriah loaded our ship up with treasure… I don't think there's a scrap left behind."

A deadpan look came from Naruto in response, "Of course she did." So Nami pulling him aside for a quickie actually had alternative reasoning behind it, to distract him while she had others clean the place out. And there was no way he was going to even be able to lay a hand on any of the treasure if Nami had it. Now he'd never get anything out of showing up there and fighting a Shichibukai. Oh well, he didn't need money. At least his friends were okay. And Nami was more than enough of a prize, "Are you alright? You guys looked exhausted when I showed back up."

"We're all fine. Zoro was pretty badly hurt, but Luffy's the worst off of us and he'll be fine with some rest. That's what Chopper says anyway." Robin informed him of the current situation since Naruto had been gone for a while wandering around Thriller Bark on his own, "But you, how are you doing?" Naruto raised an eyebrow in confusion, "The fight you had against Kuma, we could feel the force from whatever you were doing from where we were fighting and then you just amble out of the woods looking like you were rolled down a hill. What happened to him anyway?"

"I stranded him on an island in the Calm Belt." Naruto said with a grin, proud of the method he used to rid himself of Kuma, "I don't think he's dead, because what I did wouldn't have killed me, but he definitely isn't getting out of there anytime soon." Thinking about something in hindsight he rubbed his chin, "I hope he isn't the kind of guy that gets mad and destroys stuff. I like that island. Sorry I wasn't any real help though." He finished apologetically.

"It all worked out in the end anyway did it not?" Robin said, her small and calming smile pulling one back onto his face as well, "It was good to see you. Did you 'see' Nami yet?" She asked, hinting at something to him.

Naruto blinked at her owlishly wondering why she would ask that. Still though… she seemed to be actually waiting on a legitimate answer. Damn it.

"Yes…" He said, red staining his cheeks. Talking about hooking up with one of his girls with Robin was weird. He still wasn't used to the fact that he was going to try and make that work, "You already knew that though, didn't you Robin-chan?" She didn't answer. Robin never really talked anymore than she needed to in order to get her point across and she was always so calm. It was better than being a motor-mouth like him in any case, "Did you need something?"

"Your kunai." Robin said, holding her hand out in an expectant manner, "I'd like it back if you wouldn't mind." With a shrug, Naruto fished one of his Hiraishin kunai from a pocket on his vest connected to his storage space and tossed it over to her so that she could catch it handle-first, "Thank you."

"Maybe the next time you call me it won't be for something that's so much trouble?" Naruto said with a grin on his face before suddenly yelping and holding his backside. He turned around and glared at the ground where an arm had sprouted and quickly disappeared. Turning back to Robin, he gave her a glare because there was no one else that could make random body parts appear to pinch his butt, "Damn it, I hate when you do that…"

Robin let out a small chuckle, "You know, you've actually held up quite well for being an antique." She laughed again when she felt the ire in Naruto's stare at more or less being called old again, "If only you were several hundred years older I'd probably never let you out of my sight."

Naruto simply blinked at her before responding, "I don't know whether it's awesome or creepy that you're turned on by old stuff, being that I technically am the old stuff you're talking about. Wait… I just called myself old didn't I?" Robin nodded, "Damn it, I'm too old for this crap. Traveling around getting into fights is a young man's thing." He said as he stretched and cracked his back.

"You seem to do just fine to me." Robin said, as she hopped down from her spot on the rubble heap and walked up to him before using a finger to trace his whisker-marks, "But it has to be tough to get up for such battles in your advanced age. I suppose you deserve a reward." She teased.

"It's not a problem Robin-chan." Naruto said brightly, and not for the first time since she had met him Robin had to fight the urge to facepalm. Seeing Robin's smile drop was akin to seeing her do just that though, and Naruto laughed at the fact that he had been able to do such to the stoic woman.

Eventually Robin just let out a sigh and wrapped her arms around him in a hug, "Well you've been gone for almost 18 hours from your crew and they have no idea where you went. I'm sure you'll enjoy telling them that you ran off to fight a massive giant and a Shichibukai without them."

He was not looking forward to going back to face that music. Forget meditating to block out the ranting from Nojiko and possibly Vivi, he'd never get the chance to focus with Johnny and Yosaku bothering him for leaving them behind. And Soren wouldn't help, he'd just laugh. So would Miss Valentine, "I forgot that I would have to do that…" Naruto said dryly before sighing, "The longer I wait the worse it's going to be."

A nod of understanding came from Robin before she held up the kunai that she had taken back from Naruto to summon him if need be, "You still owe me some of your spare time. The next time you come running because of your kunai it won't be to play the hero, I promise."

Naruto put his hand over hers on the weapon and gave her a stern look, "I'd really rather you called on the Den-Den Mushi if you use it again. Random jolts in the back of my head telling me to use Hiraishin aren't really fun."

"I'll keep that in mind." Robin said, giving him a small kiss before patting his cheek, "Now go back to your crew like a good captain and we'll deal with ours."

Naruto nodded before thinking of something, "So you didn't come out here just so we could-?"

"There is a time and a place for everything." As she plucked the Hiraishin kunai right out of Naruto's grasp, Robin backed away a few steps, "We're about to leave ourselves. Now go." She said, leaving no chance for any dispute. In response Naruto gave her a salute and vanished in a flash right in front of her eyes.

XxX

(Natural Disaster)

Naruto suddenly appeared in front of his bed and looked around suspiciously before he began to noiselessly skulk towards his own door, 'Wait a minute? This is my damn ship. Why am I sneaking around my own property?'

Because he had randomly vanished for almost an entire day and hadn't said anything to any of his crew about it, that was why. Hopefully that Perona girl he yanked from Thriller Bark conveyed the message in his stead. Maybe that could have smoothed things over.

Managing to sneak out into the common area and outside onto the deck to see what was going on, Naruto sighed in relief as he could see that the grass-surfaced deck was clear with the exception of Vivi navigating at the helm seemingly without a care. For some reason the whole scene felt like a trap, but the only way to be sure would be to spring said trap.

Something told him that he should have just stayed in his room and gotten some sleep before trying to come outside and see how everyone else had faired while he had been gone. But he shoved this to the back of his mind as he walked past Carue and gave the duck a pat on the head as he remained quiet when he walked past.

"You're in so much trouble." Naruto heard Vivi say in a sing-song voice without her even turning around to face him. So she was used enough to his presence to feel him now was she?

Naruto bit back a groan, he had figured as much about being in trouble before he had even shown up back on the ship, "On a scale of one to ten how bad would you say it is Vivi-hime?"

"Well…" Vivi said in a manner that expressed that she was thinking, "Judging by the fact that you brought a person onto our ship that tried to take it over, and because of the fact that I'm actually pretty heated at you right now since I had to fight her I'd say you shouldn't try roaming the halls for a while."

Looking at Vivi, Naruto raised an eyebrow, especially since she hadn't even bothered turning around to face him since she knew of his presence, "You're mad? Wait a minute… you fought? Did you win?" He then focused on the most important thing that Vivi had said, "Perona tried to take over the ship? What happened to her?"

Vivi finally turned around with a rather displeased look on her face and her hands on her hips, "The girl, Perona, well we wound up giving her the Soren treatment." She finished with a small smile.

Naruto's eyes widened and he ran to the front of the ship, looking far over the edge to see Perona submerged halfway in the water and tied to the ship, just like he had done to Soren months ago, "Maybe I should snag some Seastone cuffs or something in case this happens again?"

Hearing his voice, Perona turned her head up and saw Naruto walking down the side of the ship with chakra, "Hey, let me out of here!"

"No way." Naruto said, crossing his arms over his chest sternly as he looked down at her, "You tried to hurt my crew and take over my ship. Give me one good reason why I should let you go."

Perona had been down there for around twelve hours at this point and had been thinking of how to get herself out of this predicament. Sadly her brainstorming had turned up no possible solutions. She thought she could trick someone into somehow letting her go when they fed her (they would have had to feed her right?), but no one really got close enough to sweet talk into doing so. Paulie wound up feeding her by way of his ropes… something that made her glad that she was actually tied up in the water so she could get all of the food that wound up smashing into her washed off quickly enough.

But now there was someone there that was close enough to charm into letting her go. And luckily it was the same guy that had taken her away from Thriller Bark in the first place so maybe he would have some sort of emotional incentive to free her, "I was just scared and confused, I'm calm now!"

"If you let her go Naruto I'm going to beat her up!" Vivi yelled down from the deck in warning as she had still yet to prove that she could defeat Perona. Now that she knew the secret to one of her powers as well, that she had to leave her body to project her spirit elsewhere, she knew she could beat her, "You'd better keep her down there!"

"I wasn't going to anyway!" Naruto yelled back up to the Alabastan princess, "When I did this to Soren, back before you started staying on this ship, I left him down here for five days before I let him back up, and the only reason I even did it then was because we were going to Whiskey Peak and didn't want to float into a town with some guy tied up in the water. Has she even been down here for a day yet?"

Vivi shook her head, "We tied her down there at dawn."

Hearing that, Naruto turned back to Perona, "Yeah, we're not letting you up yet."

"Take me back to Thriller Bark and Moriah-sama you idiot!" Perona more or less ordered despite the fact that she couldn't do anything to enforce it, "If you take me back then how could I mess with your crew again? I don't even know where this ship is!"

That put a grin on Naruto's face, "Luffy kicked Moriah's ass after he got through beating the crap out of that giant Oars and we couldn't find Moriah after the battle was over, the Straw Hats think that he left. I couldn't take you back anyway."

"You can teleport! How can't you take me back?" Perona asked, anger creeping more into her voice, "You brought me here in the first place didn't you?"

Naruto scratched his scalp and frowned, "I wasn't even supposed to be there. And I took you away because you were scared of Oars. I can only teleport to certain beacons and that beacon that I'm talking about probably isn't at Thriller Bark anymore. Besides…" His stern look returned, "I didn't help you just so you could try to attack my crew. So you're staying down here."

"You can't do that to me!" Perona shouted before a wave crashed high enough to fill her mouth with seawater, forcing her to sputter and spit, "I'm a girl!"

Naruto pointed up at Vivi who was waving down, "So? She's a girl too, and I beat her up all of the time to teach her how to fight better." He then made an about-face and started walking back up the side of the ship, "I'm going to leave you here until you chill out and you realize just how bad you messed up by trying to take out my crew."

Perona tried to wriggle out of the tight ropes holding her there. Paulie could tie a mean knot with those damn ropes of his, "Who are you people anyway?" She asked. He apparently teleported back to Thriller Bark to fight Oars and he came back in one piece. So how strong was this person?

"You don't even know who we are and you attacked us?" Naruto questioned as Vivi giggled up on the deck at the girl's information or lack thereof , "Fine. I'm Uzumaki Naruto and you just lost to the Foxhound Pirates. Someone will feed you later."

'That's the guy that almost joined the Shichibukai? That means he's around Moriah-sama's level of strength!' Perona thought before Naruto disappeared over the railing back to the deck, "Wait! You can't leave me here! I'll drown!"

Vivi chimed in instead of Naruto in this instance, "No you won't! You're high enough so that you'll be fine! The only way you'll drown is if the ship randomly starts to sink!" For some reason hearing the girl say that didn't make Perona feel any better as another wave hit her in the face.

XxX

(A Few Hours Later – That Evening)

A very good way to avoid any negative repercussions from just disappearing on the girls that like you is to tell them that you left to help out the crew that was comprised partially of one of said girls' sister. Another way was to play the sympathy card and try to get some credit for going out and going up against a Shichibukai in the process.

"Oh my big heroic captain!" Miss Valentine said proudly with a huge smile on her face, sitting in Naruto's lap in the common area along with the rest of the crew, "Taking on all of the big, bad pirates in the world without flinching." She playfully ran her fingers through his hair, and he was just fine with that.

Muret shrugged from a seat near Funkfreed, "At least I didn't have to patch anyone up this time." She said brightly. The workload on the Natural Disaster ranged from totally slow and boring to completely frantic and intense. At least no one brought anything stupid to her to fix like anyone on Bellamy's crew would. Yeah, everyone on this ship was tough enough to ride out their own hangovers without bugging her to fix them up.

"Get off of Naruto already! We're supposed to be mad at him Valentine!" Nojiko said before suddenly changing gears, "Oh, but thank you for helping Nami, I really appreciate it Naruto-kun." Her sweet tone then turned to another one of an admonishing nature, "But you can't just leave the ship to go off into a fight like that, what if you died? And you brought that girl back here without even knowing what she was like!" Once again Nojiko abruptly changed moods to one of an understanding and sweet nature, "But you didn't know she'd try to take over the ship… and you were just trying to help someone that needed it." She then turned somewhat angry again and let out an exasperated groan, "Damn you and your stupid hero complex!"

"Crazy~…" Soren muttered to himself lowly only for a gunshot to ring out and fly past his head, embedding itself into the wall, "You were trying to miss on purpose weren't you?" He asked with some ire in his voice. The gunshot made him activate Tekkai out of instinct and the bullet wouldn't have killed him… maybe. But that wasn't the point.

"I am not crazy, I just care too much." Nojiko defended, her pistol still smoking from the shot she had just taken, "Someone has to."

Paulie had been leaning on the wall near the door and the open window out to the deck so that he could smoke a cigar inside while listening to what had called Naruto away so suddenly, "You ever think that you're going to get a little too famous Uzumaki?" He said as he exhaled smoke out of the window, "I know pirates get into fights all of the time and everything, but you're like a magnet for messed up stuff."

Naruto shook his head, "How? The only thing I'm really famous for that anyone even knows about is 'kidnapping' Vivi-hime, killing that Nezumi guy back in the East Blue, and ripping up a lot of the Buster Call back at Enies Lobby. A lot of people don't even know about the really tough people I've fought like Aokiji or any of the Shichibukai. No one talks about that." He didn't really care too much about that though. Making waves was good and everything so that when he started talking people would listen, but to just be known as the guy that causes anarchy everywhere he goes wasn't what he wanted, and it wouldn't help him if he was really serious about trying to change the world, "…By the way I'm still not a pirate."

From the kitchen, Johnny and Yosaku were raiding the fridge while Miss Valentine was busy fawning over Naruto, taking advantage of their opening to do so, "You said that last thing like it wasn't a big deal Naruto-aniki." Yosaku said in a grumble as he and Johnny both made a massive sandwich with the works that they were prepared to cut in half once it was done. Johnny cut the sandwich and Yosaku reached for one of the halves only to jump back when Johnny slashed at him with his sword, "What the hell?"

"Like hell you're getting the bigger half!" Johnny said, resheathing his sword and holding his hand on the hilt as if he would attack again, "The cutter gets the choice on which sandwich they get!"

Yosaku took Kibikiribouchou off of his back and held it, also ready to fight over the sandwich, "What kind of crappy reasoning is that? You're just going to take the bigger half!"

"I cut it evenly!" Johnny fired back in response, his fingertips drumming on the handle of the sword.

"Then what are we fighting about damn it?" Yosaku said as he moved for the sandwich only to use his sword to block Johnny's incoming attack.

Johnny pushed against his friend and current opponent's oversized sword in vain as he tried to reach for his choice of sandwich, "It's the principle of the matter!"

"Oi!" Naruto snapped, shifting the very happy Miss Valentine around in his lap, "Take that outside! You're not messing the interior up over something this stupid."

Both Johnny and Yosaku kept their swords in clashing position and slowly walked their way out of the kitchen, through the common area, and out through the front door, even though they had to sort of duck so that Yosaku could fit Kubikiribouchou out without destroying anything. Vivi was on her way back inside when they were doing this though, and looked at them curiously before shrugging it off and walking in.

Once there, Vivi looked around and saw the very large sandwich in the kitchen as her stomach let out a growl, "Does that belong to anyone?" She asked with a famished look on her face, not seeing anyone seemingly care about the rather delicious looking foodstuff. Everyone in the room looked at each other before unanimously shrugging and shaking their heads, "Can I have it? I haven't eaten all day." Manning the wheel in the captain's stead took precedence over being fed apparently.

Once again, everyone just shrugged before nodding altogether, putting a bright smile on the princess as she more or less skipped into the kitchen to grab the sandwich.

As the sounds of rather intense swordfighting commenced outside, everyone else inside just basked in the mostly tranquil silence. No one really seemed to mind as Vivi happily ate the sandwich that was more or less the source of the conflict. Muret wasn't too pleased though as she could see some of the flashes of sparks from the swords in the dark, "…I'll probably have to stitch them both back up after that's over…"

XxX

(Three Days Later)

Even though it was supposed to be daytime, the sun was not visible. Everyone thought it was very weird because they knew that enough time had passed for the sun to rise, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky so it wasn't that there was a storm in the vicinity. It was just merely dark outside as if it was nighttime. It had been like this for a few days at this point and everyone was having a bit of trouble coping with the unwelcome and sudden change

From the helm, Naruto rubbed his eyes while nearby Paulie let out a lazy yawn, "Man, this no sunlight thing is really messing with my internal clock. I can see why most of the people that stopped in at Water 7 would complain about the Grand Line because this is seriously messed up."

"I know what you mean." Naruto said, empathizing with Paulie's less than energetic outlook on the day, "I think it's this place. This whole area is just making me feel tired. Me! And I'm never tired. Is having no sun really that bad for you?"

"I don't know." Paulie said, "Why don't we ask someone that would know?" He turned his head up to the crow's nest and yelled, "Hey Soren! Does not having sunlight on you for a long time make you tired?"

"How the hell would I know? Ask Muret, I'm not a damn doctor!"

Paulie then realized that asking Muret probably would have been more productive, "Oh, well we just assumed that since you've been locked up you would know or not!" He yelled back up so that Soren could hear him.

"I've never been locked up in prison you idiot! What made you think I've ever been to prison?"

"Your tattoos that you've got over most of the left side of your face and body look legit!" Paulie said, "I thought that was prison ink!"

"Those are to cover up the scars that Doflamingo gave me!"

"I didn't know that! Stop yelling at me!"

"You yelled first dumbass! I'm not going to climb down so we can talk in even toned voices, so deal with it!"

The door to the inside of the ship then slammed open as Muret stepped out with signs of sleep in her eyes, "Will you all please shut the hell up? Everyone inside is trying to sleep! And I don't like getting woken up listening to something so stupid!" She yelled, actually getting the more powerful men to stare at her before nodding dumbly.

"Question." Paulie said weakly, getting a glare from Muret who wished she could just go inside and get back to bed, "Is it bad for you to not get any sun? Like does it take your energy away? Because we are all tired for some reason, and we don't know why."

Muret sighed and rubbed her temple before answering. It was a fair enough question and it was supposed to be her area of expertise so why not do what he job instructed her to do? Handle any and all medical matters, including information for preventative purposes, "Actually yeah, it's kind of really bad to not get any sunlight. Sunlight actually converts a form of cholesterol in your body to vitamin D, it also helps you fight off skin diseases and can help your immune system. Sunlight also helps you sleep better at night and it helps produce serotonin and endorphins that make you feel better and keep you in a better mood."

Naruto nodded sagely as he took all of this in, "Ah, so that's why everyone's been so pissy for half of the week. Vivi and Nojiko almost got to fighting yesterday… that was weird." Nojiko was usually very level-headed and responsible most of the time, and Vivi was such a complete and total sweetheart that she didn't fight unless someone forced her to. Not yesterday, it was a catfight of the highest order.

Paulie grinned to himself remembering the incident fondly in his own mind as he, along with Soren and Johnny, did nothing to break the two women up, opting to sit back and watch raptly instead, "I've never seen Vivi mouth back like that when someone told her to take the helm before. Then again, Nojiko did demand her to in a pretty bitchy way…Those two inappropriate women." He said, trying to act as if he didn't enjoy watching it.

"What I don't get is why they didn't break out the weapons until after me and Johnny had separated them." Naruto said, remembering how when he had physically lifted up Vivi to carry her outside and away from Nojiko who was being carried further into the ship towards her room by Johnny, both girls had pulled out their respective tools of combat. Over two dozen clones met their end by Vivi's hand, and Johnny wound up getting lumps on his head from being hit with Nojiko's pistol when both men tried to calm the women down. Good thing he wore that headgear or it could have been worse.

"And on that note I'm going back to bed." Muret said, letting out a yawn as she walked back inside the ship, "Keep it down, and don't call me unless you're gut-shot."

"Will do." Paulie said evenly as he lit a cigar for leisurely purposes, "Hey Soren, have you ever been this far ahead on the Grand Line?" The only other person in the party that might have been that far before would possibly have been Miss Valentine back when she had been amassing funds and things of that like for Baroque Works, but she wasn't there at the moment.

Soren looked out on the horizon from his vantage point through binoculars as he heard the shipwright ask him his question, "Not this far, that's for sure. I never really went any further than Jaya back when I was wandering between the islands looking for bounties."

Naruto leaned against the steering wheel and set his chin against it as he stared out ahead of him on the darkened waters, "So none of us know what to expect when we head out further from here."

"Pretty much." Soren said before scouting something through his binoculars, "Yo, Uzumaki, we've got land coming up. You going to untie Perona from the front of the ship? She's been quieter than I was when you tied me to the front of the ship."

"That's because I bantered with you on purpose." Naruto said in response. Soren and he had a much better verbal back and forth than he and Perona did. All Perona did whenever he went down there was yell at him to let her go, "But I guess I should this time too. We can't just roll into port with a girl tied up to our ship." That would send the wrong message to anyone that saw them.

"Finally!"

Hearing Perona's voice, Naruto locked the wheel and jumped over the railing, planting his feet firmly in his usual gravity-defying show as he looked down at Perona, "If I let you up you'd better behave. No attacking any of my crew or anyone else, and if you run away I'll find you. Since you can't break Paulie's ropes he's going to be the main one watching you."

"Hey!" Paulie yelled over the side of the ship at Naruto, "Why do I have to watch her?"

Naruto turned towards him and gave him a deadpan look, "Because you're new, and all we make you do otherwise is make sure everything on the ship is up and running. Now you double as the ship warden in case we capture people."

Paulie's jaw dropped as Soren cackled in amusement from the crow's nest, "Ship warden? Since when?"

"Since I just thought of it." Naruto said, tapping his head as if he were brilliant, "Everyone else has a job title on this ship so why not you too?"

"I was already the shipwright you idiot! That was my job!" Paulie shouted, prepared to instigate a fight at this point. How can someone so stupid live for so long in the first place, let alone on the Grand Line? And he was planning on travelling even further still.

Naruto rolled his eyes as he started cutting Perona loose. He had to channel wind chakra to the blade of his kunai to get through the rope though. Why did Paulie have ropes that thick? It was ridiculous, "Both of those jobs are barely jobs. The only time the shipwright thing will come in handy is when something gets messed up. And how often do you think we're going to actually capture anyone?"

Soren grumbled upon hearing that, "You captured me…"

"You maniacs always mess things up on this ship!" Paulie argued again, "Do you think the place always looks so good because you're careful owners? No! You guys cause more damage to this thing than a little bit! I've had to repair the outside of one of the masts like five times since you recruited me! I'm not even going to go into detail on all of the stuff you destroy inside of the ship!" He still remembered when he had to fix the hole in the ceiling of Naruto's room after his short battle with Boa Hancock since she had kicked him through it.

Naruto jumped back over the edge of the railing, holding onto Perona before letting the rather thoroughly drenched girl try to stand on her own, "Paulie stop yelling!" Naruto hissed quietly, "There are four very tired girls inside that'll try to kick our asses if you wake them up. Now go do your job and take Perona inside to go get dry." He took some satisfaction in seeing Paulie gnash his teeth at the insistence of his 'new job'.

Perona looked back at Naruto, "I want to go back to Thriller Bark." She said, feeling some kind of form of homesickness surrounded by the strange people. If what she had learned about Uzumaki Naruto from what was reported on him was true then she was lucky he hadn't had her killed yet. He was reportedly very brutal. Yet he seemed like more of a reasonable person than what the bounty reports on him said.

If he really was as bad as he had been reported to be then he would have killed her or worse once he learned that she had attempted to take over his ship. His crew didn't seem to acquiesce to his every command either since Paulie was willing to engage in a total argument with him and the doctor girl Muret was willing to yell at him and the others quite brazenly. The Vivi girl was apparently willing to attack him because she was cranky if what she heard on the deck last night was any indication of the ship dynamic. It was something of a madhouse here.

"I can't take you back." Naruto said apologetically, "I don't know where it is, and even if I did there isn't anyone there anymore. I told you, Gekko Moriah somehow left under everyone's nose. I couldn't tell you how to find him now but his signature isn't anywhere near Thriller Bark."

Perona's face told the whole story of her complete and utter dislike of the current situation, "So I'm stuck as your prisoner forever?" She asked weakly, rather out of character to the way that she had been the other day, 'Oh damn it, now I'm their slave! This couldn't possibly get any worse!' She didn't know if it was the gravity of the situation setting in, or the fact that she hadn't stood up properly in over three days, but Perona's legs gave out on her at that moment as she fell to her knees on the deck.

Naruto squinted his eyes seeming to be wrestling with himself in heavy thought over something at the moment before he chose to speak again, "I wouldn't say that you're stuck with me forever. I mean, you and Moriah technically weren't my enemies and I didn't really fight either of you head-on."

"We did." Soren and Paulie said simultaneously with tick marks on their heads at seemingly being overlooked in the deliberation process.

"Either way…" Naruto continued as that also fell into his train of thought over how to handle this, "In the end that was my fault too that you wound up here in the first place so I'm responsible for that. I guess if you don't try to do anything stupid to us you can stay here until you find some way to find Gekko Moriah again."

Perona just stared up at Naruto who looked as if he had settled on taking the correct course of action, "You would do that? What kind of pirate are you?"

"He's not a pirate." Soren and Paulie said simultaneously, this time in deadpan voices as Naruto grinned and nodded due to his crew's compliance with not calling him a pirate.

Though Naruto soon let his grin fade so that he could speak to the extremely mistrusting Perona. He couldn't exactly blame her for not trusting him though, "If you don't want to then I can just drop you at Constellation Island once we get there. Soren says he can see land on the horizon, and that's where we were headed anyway."

Now no one was sure if it was the fact that she was in a bad mood due to the being stuck in the water for half of the week, or if her ire was raised at the thought of being just dropped aside once they reached another settlement, but Perona bristled at that option, "So you think you can just drop me because this whole thing isn't your problem huh?" She pointed at Naruto accusingly as she got her legs back under her and stood up, "Dream on! You're stuck with me until I find Moriah-sama again… and you owe me new clothes too!"

With that, she marched inside with Paulie on her heels to make sure nothing funny went down while she was inside. Naruto just blinked in confusion wondering what the hell had just happened, and Soren stood in abject shock before he voiced his thoughts, "Wait a minute, she can leave?" He said incredulously, "You didn't give me the chance to leave! You pretty much forced me to join!"

Hearing his first mate's complaints, Naruto turned up to the crow's nest to argue back, "Where else did you have to go other than prison or an early grave? And don't act like you hate being on this ship, you know you love it."

"That's not the point!"

XxX

(Hours Later – Constellation Island)

Upon getting in clear sight of the island, the crew members that were already up and about took it upon themselves to wake all of the others up prior to making port to wait for the Log Pose to reset. Thus the rather groggy Foxhound Pirate crew took in the sight of their destination.

Just like the entire area that they had apparently sailed into the island seemed to be always nighttime. The large island seemed to be based upon a rather large and shimmering meteor sticking up out of a crater like a massive hill formed in the actual landmass of the island that was miles in size, as if it was supposed to be there, the only difference being the black mineral of the meteor not matching the regular looking earth of the real part of the island. The outskirts of the island close to the ocean had trees and homes where there weren't areas for ships to dock, but there weren't very many homes that far out from the center of the island on the large meteor, the place where the actual hustle and bustle of the island took place.

On the meteor itself, there were many more homes built into the side of it and there were very large holes set into it where people could apparently enter the space rock itself. In addition to that, there were also a row of very large telescopes that could be seen from seaside.

As they looked into the air above the island they could all see where the island took its namesake from. Directly above the island the heavenly bodies that most people would have to focus to see on only the clearest of nights elsewhere in the world were clearly visible and easily distinguishable. It seemed like there were more stars than black sky to look at. Planets were even visible… hell, they swore they could see every little ripple of gases that floated through the universe from their position.

As they managed to dock their ship and walk around, Naruto left a multitude of clones to keep watch over it in their absence along with Carue who just wanted to keep sleeping. This left everyone free to see the island firsthand instead of having someone left behind to keep guard.

"It's so pretty here." Nojiko said with a smile on her face as the crew wandered through a beaten and paved path through the forests that surrounded the outsides of the island. Chirping crickets, hooting owls, and all sorts of nocturnal creatures were abound, "I don't think I mind staying here until the Log Pose resets at all."

Johnny cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders out as a manner of stretching, "I don't know about you guys but I'm still kind of sluggish. I could head on back to the ship to catch some more z's right now." Multicolored fireflies were all over the place, seemingly lighting their way more easily than any human built lamps could.

As they kept walking they eventually came along a rather large lake with tall reeds around it, and one man hanging out by the side of it just sleeping. Naruto jogged up to the man and stopped nearby him, "Hey excuse me, can you tell us anything about this island? We're not really from around here." His question was not met with an answer, just a snore that put frowns on everyone's faces, "Hello."

Still no answer.

"Let me try." Miss Valentine said as she walked over to the sleeping man and kneeled down by his prone form, "It would be really helpful if you could help us out sweetie." She said pleasantly with her usual lovely smile on her face, only to get a snore in response that caused the smile to fade, "Really?"

Soren let out an impatient growl and walked over as Miss Valentine stood back up, "Wake the fuck up!" Soren yelled as he kicked the man on the ground hard enough to jar him from his sleep. As the man sat up and glared at him, Soren turned back to the others, "There you go. That's what you call taking command of the situation."

Perona looked at Soren and leaned over to the person closest in age to her, Vivi, ironically also the person that she had something of a bone to pick with. But she couldn't really fight Vivi due to the entire crew being there and knowing how to defeat her now, "He's really kind of… violent, isn't he?"

"Well, only to the people that he doesn't know." Vivi said matter-of-factly before turning her eyes to Perona, "I still don't like you, just so you know."

"The feeling is mutual princess." Perona jabbed back. That almost caused Vivi to blurt out the question of how Perona knew she was a princess, but Nojiko's gaze when she was about to told her to keep it quiet. It was just a general and rather spiteful nickname, not an address of her official title.

The sleeping man rubbed his eyes and looked up at the Foxhound Pirates with half-lidded eyes, "What do you all want? Can't you see that I'm trying to get my daily 18 hours of sleep in?" He seemed more upset that he was awake instead of the fact that he had been kicked, "Troublesome foreigners… no one else on Constellation Island is getting kicked awake right now."

At that moment, Naruto had the ultimate flashback to his old friend with a pineapple-styled ponytail that acted a lot like this man did, "What's the pastime around here on the island? It's a really big place. What do you guys do for fun?"

"This." The man said in a flat tone of voice, "We sleep, and we just spend time looking at the stars and planets that pass overhead." Hearing that, Naruto muttered something akin to 'an island full of Shikamarus' in an incredulous manner, though no one got the reference other than him, "If you guys woke me up just to ask a stupid question like that then I'm going to be pissed."

"We just wanted to know something about the island." Muret asked from her spot riding atop Funkfreed in his elephant form, "We've never been here before and we don't know anyone that's ever been this far on the Grand Line." A smirk crossed her face, "My last captain was kind of a coward that played it up like he was a big shot. He never really went very far at all."

The man looked at the crew and sighed as he guessed the fastest way to get rid of them would be to tell them what they wanted, "Constellation Island gets a sunrise only once a year, and this isn't anywhere near that time. We get the name of the island from the clear view of space we can get from here. The meteor in the island landed here hundreds of years ago, apparently it punched a hole right through the sky that never really went back to normal for some reason, that's why we can even see the stars so clearly in the first place." He lay himself back down and tried to go back to sleep after he was done talking.

"What does this island have?" Yosaku asked, getting a tick mark out of the lazy man for keeping him from going back to sleep, "It's huge."

The man cracked an eye with a slight glare, "My friends, you are looking at the ass end of Paradise. You could see the Red Line out on the horizon from here if there was any sunlight… it's actually a beautiful sight when the sun comes up, there's a big festival for it and everything." He shifted in place to get comfortable before continuing, "But… because we're so close to the Red Line that means we're close to the Sabaody Archipelago… luckily we have a pretty bad rep with the slavers since we have low energy and are pretty useless with any real work."

"Slavers?" Naruto said with surprise in his eyes upon hearing of them. He then remembered how Boa Hancock had shouted at him with great conviction about how she would not allow herself to be taken as a slave by him, despite the fact that he had been confused at the time, 'So they really do still have slaves…' He could feel his blood boiling at the thought of it. If it was that well-known that such a thing happened in this region of the Grand Line then why didn't anyone stop it directly?

Not knowing of Naruto's growing anger over the last thing he spoke of, the informative man continued speaking on, "They don't come around here trying to pull us away for that crap. World Nobles don't come here very often either thank God, but we do get some very well to do tourists here. They hang out inside of the meteor mostly though. That's the place with all of the casinos, nightclubs, shops, hotels, all of that stuff." Hey, the place had to make that tourist money somehow, right?

"Then that's where we're going I guess." Nojiko said with a shrug as she smiled gratefully at the island local, "Thanks for the help."

"Yeah whatever." The man said as he fully shut his eyes once more and turned over to face away from the group of travelers, "Now leave me alone so I can catch back up with my sleep… My shift is in twelve hours."

'Lazy…' Everyone thought all together as they headed off towards the direction of the meteor that apparently housed all of the interesting things that Constellation Island had to offer.

XxX

(Constellation Island – Meteor Interior)

Surrounding the meteor itself in the space between the edge of the crater and the meteor there was running water, making an active moat surrounding the space rock. The water ran in and out of holes carved into the meteor that people used boats to travel with. A large drawbridge allowed the crew entrance to the interior where they took in the sights there as well.

It was the size of a regular city. A mostly wide open cave setting with stores built into the walls of the meteor and also built traditionally with standard building materials. There was natural light in the cave by way of crystals built into the meteor that allowed people to easily see. There were multiple paths and spirals where buildings and recreational areas were elevated for a better view. In the center of the meteor was a large lake and directly above it there was an opening to the outside where people could see through to the sky as if they were outside.

Waterways ran through the interior with citizens using boats to traverse the waters instead of using the paths and bridges built to walk. It seemed to go along with the running theme of the people on the island of not having energy as most would just let the waterways carry them since they would inevitably get to their destination, just not on time. It was weird that such a lazy group of people would have their shops open 24/7.

Nojiko and Miss Valentine pretty much dragged Perona off to get her the clothes that she said Naruto owed her, both women understanding why she felt that way what with being stuck in the water for three days… despite the fact that they had been the ones to put her there in the first place.

With his responsibility in Perona being temporarily taken off of his hands, Paulie decided to go and hit the casinos to see if he could double his income he had obtained since joining the crew. Johnny and Soren decided to follow behind in the hopes that the casino had an open bar so that they could laugh at Paulie losing all of his money and be inebriated at the same time. Muret went off to see if she could get anymore medical supplies, simple stuff like bandages since the crew burned through them. Yosaku then chose to follow his beloved wherever she chose to go… this made Muret want to go find something heavy to make him lug around for continuing to fawn over her.

Naruto and Vivi simply chose to walk around the place because the princess wanted to take in the sights of such an exotic place, and because Naruto wanted some thinking time as he was still pretty heated over hearing about Sabaody Archipelago and the slave trade circulating from there.

Eventually this led to Naruto leaning against a wall of the meteor, thinking to himself as Vivi used one of the telescopes provided for public use to get an even better look at the stars and other things, "This island is so beautiful. You hear about places like this existing on the Grand Line, but hearing about them and actually visiting these places is something else altogether."

Taking a second to stop thinking so seriously, Naruto looked over at Vivi and how excited she was to just be in a new place like Constellation Island. She was usually like that most places she went since she had started travelling with them. While everyone seemed to find something to like about the locations they traveled to, it wasn't very hard for Vivi to do so at all, she was always so enthusiastic.

'She's going to be a really great leader when she winds up taking over in Alabasta.' Naruto thought to himself with a smile, 'Vivi's a good girl and she's smart. She also cares a little too much… but that's not really a bad thing if she's going to rule a nation.' She definitely had the empathy part of being a benevolent ruler down. The first princess he met had to have that more or less beaten into her head.

Vivi took her eyes away from the telescope to look curiously at the blonde shinobi that ran her ship of current residence. She returned the smile he was giving her with a very warm one of her own, "Are you feeling better now Naruto?" She asked him.

"What made you think I was feeling bad?" Naruto replied, trying to keep up his smile as a front. The leader could never be seen stressing out or it would trickle down to his subordinates.

"I saw your face when that man talked about the slavers." Vivi frowned as she explained, "I've been to Mariejois before with my father… I've seen what the World Nobles do with those people. They aren't even humans as far as the nobles are concerned. Father couldn't rationalize it for me and he didn't even try. You're a good person, so I can only imagine how you feel about it."

Naruto let out a grunt of aggravation as he leaned out the opening and stared out at the great view presented from their location, "Why the hell would anyone ever let something like that happen? What's the point? Is it too much to ask that people know how to act on what's right and wrong?"

"It's the way things are I'm afraid." Vivi said distastefully, leaning the same way Naruto was as she looked out next to him, "The World Government values the status quo over what you and I see as common decency. World Nobles can do anything they want… anything at all. Just because their ancestors formed the World Government 800 years ago. They don't even do anything to run the government at all."

Naruto could hear the venom in her voice as she spoke of them, he had never heard Vivi speak of anyone like that before, "Do you hate them Vivi-hime?"

"No…" Vivi said, shaking her head, "I hate the fact that they have all of that power and influence for nothing. They can do anything, and yet they use their status to bully others and assert how great they think they are." She let out a sigh, "…Leaders aren't supposed to be like that. They should be something to look up to. But the World Nobles are just terrible people. Hating them won't do any good though. It wouldn't change anything."

A nod came from Naruto before he asked her another question, "Do you ever just want to turn back around and go home to Alabasta?" He asked, getting Vivi to turn her head towards him in shock, "I love having you on the crew, everyone does actually. It's really going to suck when you can finally go home safely, we're really going to miss you."

Vivi's look of shock morphed back into a smile, "You're saying that like it's going to happen anytime soon. I don't think I'm going home for a while." She let out a wistful sigh as she continued, "Sometimes I do wish I could go home, but I love this crew, it's actually really fun to be here. You've made me so much stronger too so I can really defend my people the next time they need me. I really appreciate it all."

"You soak up everything I've taught you like a sponge." Naruto said with a laugh, "You're really easy to teach. Besides, we love having you with us. Even when you do wind up going home you're still one of us, and if you ever need us we'll be there in a heartbeat princess."

Vivi took that moment to let out a laugh as well, "So you'll be my honorary knight?"

"If that's what you want to call it, yeah." A grin crossed Naruto's face as he replied, "I'm your knight Vivi-hime, and if there's anything you can't handle I'll always have your back." He bowed to her with a flourish, getting a playful knock on his head from Vivi who was stuck in full-on laughter at this point, "That's a promise though. I already made the promise that I won't ever disappear from your lives. I meant it."

"We'd all just find you anyway." Vivi said slyly, though she was turned away slightly so he couldn't see the blush on her face at his insistence of being her knight, 'Ha. Igaram, Pell, and Chaka would have heart attacks if I somehow convinced Naruto to be a knight or something.'

"I'm starting to think that's true because I keep hearing people say it." Naruto said with a sheepish look on his face as he rubbed the back of his neck.

XxX

(Constellation Island – Exterior of the Meteor)

"Sir! Ma'am!" A Marine said as he ran up to Hina and Smoker, "Witnesses have recounted seeing people fitting the description of Uzumaki Naruto's crewmembers within the meteor structure of the island."

Hina chuckled and leaned against Smoker's nearby motorbike, "Hina told you that coming around the backside of the island was a better idea. You see? When you attack head-on you get your ships destroyed. A little misdirection works wonders."

"I thought I told you to shut up about that." Smoker replied rather tersely. He didn't need to be reminded of how the Natural Disaster literally smashed through his blockade with very little effort needed to do so.

"How rude Smoker-kun!" Hina said with a smirk as she pulled her dark brown gloves tightly on her hands, "Hina comes all the way to help reinforce you, Hina helps you track down Uzumaki Naruto's trail, and this is how you treat a friend? Promotions really must go to one's head, correct commodore?"

Smoker let out a scoff before a small smile broke out on the normally gruff man's face, "Hina came here to help herself too." Hina puffed out her cheeks indignantly at Smoker poking fun at her way of speaking, "Taking down all of these bounty heads would be major for both your and my careers. The only way to be allowed to go to New World is to get promoted, and the only way that's going to happen for someone like me is if I can prove that there's no reason to hold me back by beating strong pirates."

"Uzumaki beat you up twice Smoker-kun." Hina chimed in as if that were a helpful fact that he had somehow forgotten.

"He didn't beat me up, he just blew me away both times and ran before I could drift back." Smoker argued back as he sat on the seat of his bike, "I know how to fight someone like him now. It won't happen like that again this time-."

"-Because this time Hina will fight him with you." The Marine captain with long pink hair said confidently as she pretty much shoved Smoker forward and took a seat behind him on the bike, "No matter who he is, he can't even touch Hina or else he'll regret it because of Hina's powers."

"Let's just go already…" Smoker said with a grumble, "Our subordinates are already inside, that means we pretty much have them cornered." With that, he kick-started his bike, powered by his own smoke powers, and drove inside the meteor to attempt to locate the Foxhound Pirates.

Omake: The Gauntlet is Thrown

(A Few Days after Leaving Water 7 – Onboard the Natural Disaster)

The ringing of the Den-Den Mushi in the common area quickly beckoned the person that was usually the closest to it when it went off as Naruto jumped basically from the doorway of his own room all the way to the communications animal in one leap, "Hello?" He greeted pleasantly upon picking up the receiver, "You've got the Foxhound Pirates, what do you need?"

"I'm gonna kick your ass you shitty bastard!"

Naruto immediately took offense to the quite vulgar greeting. Who spoke to someone like that on the phone? How rude, "Oh I'd love to see you try prick! You're real tough over the phone so why don't you come find me and say that to my face, dattebayo!" He then blinked when he realized that he had gotten overexcited and that he had fallen back into an old habit, "…And you didn't hear me say that last part so shut the hell up about it!"

"As soon as Robin-chan gives me your stupid teleport weapon I will! And then I'll take it and shove it up your ass, so you can teleport there when I'm done with you!"

Naruto was about to shout back, fully ready to get into an insult/shouting war with this person until he started piecing things together, "Wait a minute… is this Sanji?"

"You're damn right it is!"

"What the hell is your problem?" Naruto asked him, confused at why the Straw Hat crew's chef would have a problem with him, "Just because I said that you were a crappy cook because you couldn't make ramen isn't a good reason to be all pissed off. I said that days ago, I thought we were past it."

"First of all, I can make ramen, I just choose not to do anything with that shitty food, I'm a gourmet chef! And second of all I'm not pissed because of that, I'm pissed because I've heard of your deflowering our lovely navigator!"

"Wait, you actually can make ramen?" Naruto said questioningly before blinking, completely missing what the gist of the conversation was supposed to be about, "You son of a bitch! Give Miss Valentine your recipe or I will cut you!"

"Get back on topic!"

"Oh, right." Naruto said, dropping his anger at the whole ramen thing… but he would be revisiting that part of the discussion at a later time, "Oh!" He finally said in realization, "That's why you're mad at me. Because me and Nami-."

"Don't you dare say it! I'll never forgive you for taking something so precious away from Nami-san you bastard!"

At that moment sounds of a minor scuffle took place as it sounded like the receiver was wrestled away from Sanji, "Naruto you jerk! Whatever you took from Nami you'd better give it back right now or I'll kick your ass!" Apparently it was the captain's turn to interject.

"Luffy?" Naruto said, having at this point settled down enough to take a seat on a couch as he continued to talk, "What are you talking about? Give what back?"

"Sanji said you took something precious from Nami, like a flower or something… I don't know, I wasn't really listening. All I know is that friends don't take things from friends, so whatever you took give it back!"

'I can't really give back what I took Luffy.' Naruto thought to himself with a deadpan look on his face, "Listen to me Luffy-."

Whatever he was going to say was cut off as more sounds of fighting over the Den-Den Mushi took place before Sanji's voice came back over the line, "Luffy shut up! I've got this handled! This is a matter of honor both for myself and my dear Nami-san. So get ready, as soon as I can get Robin-chan to hand over your kunai with my charm I'm going to call you again, and then I'm going to kick your ass to the moon!"

"I thought I just told you not to call him about something so stupid!" Nami's angry voice came through the background before sounds of pain reverberated through the Den-Den Mushi. Sanji was probably paying for his rather brazen statement on quite personal matters at the moment, "Everyone on the ship heard you and knows what you're talking about!"

One more person picked up the line and spoke to the blonde captain as the sounds of a rather brisk beating echoed in the background, "Uh Naruto, we're going to have to call you back later. Sanji's kind of busy getting… well you can hear it can't you?" Usopp said, sounding like a voice of reason before seemingly holding up his receiver in the intended direction so that Naruto could clearly hear what was taking place.

"Nami-san I was just defending your honor from that villain Naruto!"

*CRASH*

"Who the hell said I needed my honor defended? And next time 'defend me' quieter than that! This is embarrasing!"

Naruto let out a sigh, "Normally I'd tell Sanji to bring it on, but for now I think I'll just say good luck to him. Noji-chan's going to call so she can talk to Nami later. Make sure you tell her after she calms down."

"Got it. Later."

*Click*

Jumping back up to hang up the Den-Den Mushi, Naruto then walked back towards his room as if nothing happened, "I love my weird friends."

Hello world. I'm back once more after longer than I would have personally liked, but hey, the past is the past. Anyway, I've got nothing important or insane to ramble about today. I can only hope you enjoyed my body of work and will continue to do such in the future.

Now if you'll excuse me it's time for me to get ready for work at noon. I hate summer.

Until the next time I'm free enough to update something you all take the time to read, Kenchi out.