Disclaimer: It's all Rowling's
VERY IMPORTANT A/N: So, like I said, I considered doing an alternate final chapter if anyone was interested. Several people were VERY interested and just couldn't live without seeing Hermione and Snape get together, so I have consented, and shall tackle this whole-heartedly.
Having said that though…I did state from the beginning that this wouldn't be an HG/SS fic for several reasons. As much as I like HG/SS pairings, I was attempting to stay as much in the realm of Rowling similarity as possible. Obviously, several aspects of this were compromised for plot purposes, but I'd like to think (at least based on most reviews) that I did a decent job portraying characters, even Snape, when he's interacting with pretty much anyone BUT Hermione. Somehow though, Snape and Hermione often being championed in fanfic as two of the smartest wizards, it never seemed realistic to me that, with all that intelligence, the two would actually get together. The whole student/professor thing would be too much of a barrier for either of them to truly consider it and act upon it.
I tried to portray a sense of attraction on Snape's part…subtly, to be sure, but there…the whole thing in chapter 11 about him not wanting to put memories of her in a pensieve, several scenes with some kind of tension between them, putting an arm around her in bed one night (completely unnecessary for logical purposes!), and finally, the comment Dumbledore makes in chapter 34:
"She's a remarkable witch," Dumbledore observed. "Very much like another we once knew." "Indeed," Snape agreed slowly.
I was hoping people would pick up on this as a subtle homage to Lily…but no one commented on it, so perhaps it went unnoticed. In any case, this was supposed to show Snape's inner conflict about it, what he'd been battling with the whole year, and then in the final chapter, his witnessing the scene in the library was my way of showing his acceptance, his letting go, even despite Dumbledore's acknowledgement.
I wanted to explain all of that before you read the alternate ending. The original will always be my preferred and true ending. However, I am a pretty big reader of HG/SS fics myself (funny how I could never write one though) and I think I can do it justice as best as possible, while remaining consistent to the rest of the story (even explaining a few things that I already mentioned here!).
If you like the ending how it was, I would recommend you not read this one; it's not MY true ending. But, for those who just must see the months of sexual tension between Hermione and Snape come full circle, read on!
One last thing: Lara Malfoy-Lynne, I understand your point, but my character posting was not based on romance but on who the actual main characters were. Draco was a fairly minor character through most of the story, and it seemed odd to post him as a major player when he didn't even show up consistently until chapter 18. Sorry if it threw you off though! :-(
For this, the beginning will be exactly the same, only the final scene will change. If you don't want to reread the scenes with Harry and Ron and Hermione and Draco, jump ahead to the *******.
Alternate Ending
Finally, Hermione was able to begin her story which encompassed almost the last year of her life. After all that time of hard work and keeping secrets from Harry and Ron, she was relieved to get it off of her chest. Even Remus appeared surprised at some of it.
"It all started last summer, as you might have guessed by now," she started. Ron's eyes widened; apparently he had not yet made the connection. Harry, however, nodded shrewdly. Hermione was not surprised.
"Professor Snape learned of a plan to kidnap me, probably with the ultimate goal of luring you to You-Know-Who," she pointed out to Harry. "He risked his own life and showed up just in time to grab me and bring me here. He returned to my house, altered the minds of any relevant death eaters, and came back. I, of course, had no clue what was happening. I thought he was just another death eater who wanted to kill me."
"So that's why you know your way around here," Ron realized. "You stayed here all summer…with Snape."
Hermione nodded and shrugged apologetically. "It was too risky. If I was at Grimmauld Place, Professor Dumbledore was worried that someone like Mundungus could say just the wrong thing at the wrong time and ruin the whole game. It wouldn't take You-Know-Who long to determine which death eater had betrayed him. This house," she gestured around her, "is safe. Protected by the fidelius charm, as you both know now, secret rooms, it wasn't a place where I would ever be found. And just in case, I spent most of my time in this very room, hidden from the outside and nearly impossible to find if you don't know where it is."
Hermione took a breath. Harry and Ron seemed interested now, open to the truth. Which was good, because the next part could be harder to hear.
"Around the time of your birthday, Harry, things began to change. We started out the summer distant, avoiding each other to the greatest possible extent, only seeing one another at meals, if even that. After your birthday, when my parents were attacked and Tonks was hurt…" she trailed off, remembering something.
"Actually, I'm surprised you didn't figure something out then," she mused. "When Professor Snape knew exactly where I was, even though it was secret, and he was the one who knew that I'd start freaking out- he was the one who came and told me what had actually happened. And no one questioned even what he was doing there." She continued. "Anyway, after that, there was one night where he came back very late, and extremely injured. I helped him heal his wounds as much as possible, so he was strong enough to go to Grimmauld Place and get it done properly. And after that, we developed something of a working partnership which led eventually to…friendship, I suppose," she finished quietly.
"Friends?" Harry asked skeptically. "You and Sn- Professor Snape?"
"Why not?" Hermione asked lightly. "We were stuck here together for months with no other company. We actually have similar interests and habits," she pointed out. "Very academically oriented, particular interest in potions…well, it turned out I had something he needed." Harry gave her a quizzical look. "Third year, with the time-turner, I'd done some, er, extracurricular experiments," she looked sheepish. "I had data that proved helpful to completing the first stage of developing a potion to counter the killing curse."
"So then what happened?" Harry asked.
"Nothing," she replied. "Summer ended. We returned to Hogwarts, and school resumed as it always had. For a while at least." She looked at the two of them, wondering if they'd recall a conversation they overheard and shared with her many months ago. "Do you remember hearing Professors Dumbledore and Snape talking one day, at Grimmauld Place, about some memories Professor Dumbledore thought he ought to put in a pensieve?"
Harry eyed her confusedly. Obviously not. It was Ron this time, however, who spoke up.
"I think I do," he said slowly, "at least part of it. We thought Snape had a girlfriend," he struggled to hold back the snicker. "Dumbledore mentioned something about a girl being with him."
Hermione raised her eyebrows and looked at him. It took a few more seconds, but the connection was made.
"Oh," was all Ron said.
"I think I understand now," Harry murmured. "Voldemort did see you, didn't he?" he asked. "He saw you in Snape's head. And that's why you…" he couldn't finish the thought. Even though he now knew it wasn't true, he was repulsed by the idea of the façade they had put on for Lucius Malfoy's sake.
Hermione nodded. "It's true, that's how things started out. It was awkward at first, but we eventually started working together again, and spent hours a week trying to complete the potion. In classes, I began acting differently, more subdued, for Draco's sake," she laughed a bit. "That ended oddly."
"So Draco wasn't on our side at the beginning of the year?" Harry asked. "What made you think you could trust him?"
"Funny how things work, actually," Hermione grinned. "He was so disturbed by what he thought Professor Snape was doing to me, that he wrote a letter to Professor Dumbledore to warn him. It was history from there. He convinced us of his lack of loyalty to You-Know-Who and his father, and he finally believed us that Professor Snape was, in fact, working on the side of the Order. We realized then the essentiality for occlumency lessons. I began spending even more nights in the dungeons, either working on the potion with Professor Snape, or learning occlumency with Draco, or practicing apparition here with Professor Snape and Remus here," she nodded towards Lupin, sitting silently and listening quietly.
"That's about everything up until you were kidnapped in Hogsmeade," she said quietly.
"Whose idea was it for you to be brought in as well? You said you all worked to plan it, but whose idea was it really?" Harry seemed concerned that Malfoy or Snape would have purposely put her in harm's way.
Hermione reassured him to the contrary. "It was completely my idea," she told him. "I had to fight to make them believe it was the only good way. But with the potion ready, and the months spent learning to apparate and to block my mind, there was no other way." She sighed. "I just can't believe I didn't realize what it would mean for Professor Snape," she whispered. "If that potion had failed; it almost did, for that matter," she shuddered. "His death would have been my fault."
"And Professor Dumbledore didn't realize this either?" Remus frowned.
Hermione smiled abashedly. "We didn't tell him," she said. "It wasn't until I was already gone and Hagrid had caught Draco and Blaise Zabini coming back from Hogsmeade in the middle of the night that he realized what had happened," she informed them ruefully.
"So when Snape came in the room the morning you were taken…?" Ron trailed off.
"A test," she said lightly. "Making sure my occlumency would hold up under the pressure of being there, being tested by You-Know-Who. Also," she theorized, "probably to eliminate any doubt in either of your minds that he really was on the side of You-Know-Who."
"And then when you disappeared for a few hours a few days later…?"
"Planning how to best escape with you two on the night of the ritual."
"Ah."
Harry put everything else together then. "So he slipped the note into the Prophet with the location of this place," he ascertained. "Did he also put some of that potion in our drinks earlier that night?" he guessed. She nodded. "I think I owe Professor Snape an apology," Harry murmured quietly, surprising and pleasing Hermione.
"But," he continued, making Hermione wince, "there's still something I can't quite wrap my mind around."
"Draco?" Hermione guessed.
"Yes, Draco," Harry said, somewhat bewildered. "You went from nearly enemies to good friends in a very short time."
"We shared a common secret," Hermione explained honestly, "and neither of us could confide anything in our friends. Really though," she thought, "Draco didn't have friends, to speak of, just class mates he had to put on a show of loyalty for, towards a dark lord he didn't believe in. It was quite difficult for him, and we spent a lot of time together. It was only natural that we'd get close."
Harry looked tormented, unsure whether he really wanted to say whatever was on his mind.
"What is it?" Hermione asked quietly.
"It's just that," he paused, searching for the right words. "You said he warned you of the possibility that a death eater would…would rape you," he struggled to say it. "But, Hermione, what if it had been any other death eater? One who truly wanted to hurt you? One who assumed that Snape had been using you all year…?" he trailed off, clearly uncomfortable, as were the other two in the room with Hermione.
She hesitated, unsure how to phrase it in a delicate way that wouldn't anger anyone too much. Not that it was really any of their business, she realized, but nonetheless…
"We considered that," she said carefully. "And took the appropriate measures, just in case."
Silence reigned supreme.
Harry jerked his head tersely. "Thank you," he said quietly.
"For what?" Hermione asked, surprised.
"Being honest about everything," he said sincerely. "It can't have been easy to go through all of that, and I know we've hardly made it any easier," he gestured between himself and Ron with a rueful expression on his face.
Hermione focused on Ron's face. It had a different look than Harry's. Not an angry one but…accepting, perhaps, somewhat glum. And Hermione thought she understood when he gave her a sad smile, but did not comment. Yes, she realized, Ron was fighting with his own attraction towards her, and was struggling with this recent development in relation to that.
"Anything else?" she asked. She couldn't even imagine at this point what any of them could have to ask her.
"Thanks for saving our lives," Ron grinned slightly.
"Yeah," Harry laughed, "thanks for that." Hermione joined in with their laughter and hugged them both tightly.
"You're very welcome," she smiled. Things were back to normal as much as possible.
SCENESCENESCENESCENESCENESCENESCENE
The rest of that day passed by fairly quickly. A few order members were in and out to give periodic updates, but very few knew the actual location of the house, and so things were not in quite as much hustle and bustle as Hermione feared. She was exhausted, and so were all the others who partook in the events of the last several days.
Professor Snape was recovering with surprising speed. In mere hours, he was able to get up from the bed, and he joined the rest of the company for dinner. By that time, it was only Hermione, Harry, Ron, Draco, Remus, Tonks, and Kingsley left at Prince Manor with Snape, as well as, of course, Harmony the house elf. As far as Hermione was concerned, however, the most touching scene of the night was shortly before dinner.
"Hermione," Harry had said, "I was serious about owing Professor Snape an apology."
Hermione looked at him questioningly.
"So, erm…" he stuttered, "I was wondering if you might take me to see if…you know…I can talk to him quickly…if he's feeling up to it," he added hastily.
Pleased by the idea and glad to see that Harry was finally maturing past years-old prejudices, she consented to see if he was awake in his room.
"Enter," Professor Snape called when Hermione tapped quietly on the door. She walked in, leaving the door slightly open, and was surprised to see that Snape was sitting at a desk and shuffling through old papers and notes.
"How are you feeling?" she asked him skeptically. He gave the closest thing to a laugh that he ever gave.
"So distrustful of me, Miss Granger! Never fear, I assured Professor Dumbledore that I would remain in bed until I felt up to moving around or until I was ready to tear my hair out from boredom. Such was the case that both were true, and so here I am, getting a head start on improving our recipe for the potion against the killing curse."
Hermione shook her head bemusedly, not surprised. "Harry's here to see you," she said. Snape abruptly stopped flipping through papers and looked up at her. He raised an eyebrow quizzically.
"Oh?" She nodded and gave a half smile. "Well send him in then," he indicated she should open the door.
"Mr. Potter, I trust you are well," he acknowledged his presence in a much more civilized manner than Harry was used to, catching him off of his guard.
"Erm, yes, sir, thank you. You are feeling better as well?"
Snape nodded gravely. "I owe my life to Miss Granger here," he pointed out somberly. "You are lucky to have such a friend at your side," he said pointedly.
Harry looked at Hermione and smiled. She took her cue and left, leaving Harry to speak privately with Snape. As she exited the room, however, she did hear Harry's reply.
"Indeed I am, sir, and I shall be careful never to forget that. I owe her my life too, as I do to you as well."
Hermione wandered down the hallway, not looking for anything in particular, but finding herself outside of Draco's door. She felt bad, realizing how out of place Draco must feel with these Order members, and Harry and Ron who had never liked him anyway. She had been hesitant to suggest they include Draco in their discussions of the last few hours, knowing how Ron felt about it, and unsure if Harry would so quickly overcome years of antagonizing.
She raised a hand to knock on his door, but stopped short when she realized there were voices coming from inside. They were both male and she assumed one was Draco, but she couldn't make the second one out.
She hesitated, unsure whether she should leave him be to whatever discussion he was having, but it turned out to be unnecessary. Seconds later, as she stood there contemplating, the door opened in front of her, and she found herself face-to-face with Remus Lupin.
"Oh!" she said in surprise. "Remus, I was just coming to see if Draco was around…" she trailed off awkwardly, wondering if he thought she'd been eavesdropping. The smile on his face told her otherwise, however. He stood aside, allowing her to enter, where she found Draco perched on the edge of his bed.
"Hey," he smiled wearily at her. "Long day."
"Tell me about it," she sighed and sat next to him. She looked him up and down, noticing the worried expression behind his eyes that he tried to hide from her. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah. Just tired is all," he replied lamely.
She looked at him mistrustfully. "Why was Remus here?" she asked, suddenly suspicious.
"Just following up on some things," he replied. Again, there was a hint of bitterness to his answer, but not blatantly. Hermione turned and faced him directly, looking him in the eye.
"Draco, what is it?" she asked. "You're upset by something."
He sighed. "No, not exactly, it's just…well, I'm surprised you didn't ask me first, before he did, is all." He looked at her pointedly. She didn't understand.
"I didn't ask you what, Draco?" she asked in confusion. He stared at her for a long moment, and when her face registered no sign of comprehension, he sighed again.
"He was here to ask if there was any possibility that you could be pregnant, Hermione."
She blinked once in surprise.
"I…it never even…I never thought about…I figured…" her mind was working a million miles an hour, trying to figure out how she'd missed that. There was silence for several tense seconds. "Well?" she finally prompted. "Is there?"
"Of course not!" he exclaimed, "I was smarter than that, both times."
"Then what are you worried about?" Hermione asked, confused.
"Because," Draco cried out, "at some point this is all going to catch up with you and you're going to be horrified and what happened. At what I did to you!"
"Draco!" Hermione practically yelled back at him. "Stop! I told you, it doesn't matter to me. You didn't hurt me, you didn't do anything against my will. My choices too, Draco, not just yours."
They stared each other down for several long seconds. Finally, Hermione sighed and checked the time.
"It's time for dinner," she pointed out. "Care to join us?"
Draco stared at her for a few more seconds before smiling lightly. "Crazy Gryffindors," he muttered, but stood up and headed for the door with her.
*******************************SCENE**************************************
************************ALTERNATE ENDING*******************************
Harry and Ron went to bed early that night. They were still recovering from an even longer duration of imprisonment than Hermione was, and though she was the one who exhausted herself with constant use of occlumency and the façade between her and Snape, as well as the final apparition, they had suffered longer.
Hermione considered bed for a few minutes, but once she was actually in her pajamas and ready for bed, she found she was not tired at all and didn't think she could have slept if she tried. Not wanting to wake anyone else in the household, she meandered up the long, winding staircase to the library. As her head cleared the landing, she was surprised to see someone sitting in a chair opposite the landing. The chair was facing the other way, but, she could see the top of the person's head who was sitting in it. The long black hair was all she needed to tell it was Snape.
She hesitated at the landing. He didn't look busy. In fact, he didn't look like he was even reading anything, and she suddenly wondered if he'd fallen asleep up here. If that were the case, she did not want to disturb him, and so she turned quietly and began to descend the stairs again. She didn't make it far.
"I've not yet lost my finely honed senses of awareness, Miss Granger," Snape called softly to her in a bemused voice.
She turned around once again and walked over to where he was sitting.
"I thought you might have been asleep, Professor," she told him. She took a seat on the couch opposite him and they observed each other for several seconds. There was something different about Snape, but Hermione couldn't quite pinpoint what it was.
After several seconds of silence, Snape addressed her.
"I understand you've finally told Mssrs. Potter and Weasley the whole take, beginning to end," he stated wryly.
"I was proud of Harry today," she retorted good-naturedly. "He showed a greater ability to be mature than I usually see in him. I think you'll agree," she grinned.
"And how did they take the more- delicate- parts of the story?" he asked lightly.
"Honestly," she stated bluntly, "I left as many out as possible." She continued, "I mean, sure, they know we convinced Lucius Malfoy about certain things," she emphasized the word, "but I felt no need for specifics. They didn't really need to know that we actually slept in the same bed fairly frequently, or that you've seen more of my bare body than either of them has," she laughed, wondering when exactly it became so easy to speak to Professor Snape. She supposed it had something to do with saving both of each other's lives at this point. It tended to bond people, as it had with her, Harry, and Ron first year after the troll incident.
"But not as much as Draco Malfoy," Snape smirked and raised a semi-suggestive eyebrow at her, and she laughed again.
"Poor Draco," she sighed. "He's so torn and hurt. He was before about so many things between his family, his house, his loyalties, and his beliefs, and now he's convinced that he's committed some unspeakable act against me and I'm hard-pressed to persuade him otherwise."
"I was of the impression that you'd worked through those issues already?" Snape queried lightly.
"So was I!" she explained, frustrated. "But then Remus went to talk to him about it, and now he's back to beating himself up over it!"
Snape frowned. "Lupin usually has better tact than that," he commented.
"I understand though," Hermione conceded, "he was upset when he first found out, no one had mentioned it yet, amazingly. I explained what really happened and he understood, but he was concerned-," she paused. "Well, he was worried I could be pregnant," she blushed. "It's pretty easy to see why he didn't want to ask me in front of Harry and Ron," she said with a grimace.
Snape had the gall to smirk at that comment. "Yes, I'm sure poor Mr. Weasley is in quite a state of agitation at your relationship with his archenemy of six years."
"Relationship isn't really the word," Hermione mused. "We're close, sure. But I fell like we have too many years of animosity built up to do more than spend time getting to really know each other for a while yet. Draco is a great friend, and I think I need to truly appreciate him as that before I could ever even consider anything else."
Snape seemed to mull over that revelation for some time.
"And the events prior to and during your imprisonment…?" he trailed off ambiguously, but Hermione knew what he was asking, even if she didn't know why.
"A necessity," she referred to the former, "and the best possible situation," she referred to the latter. "I had to be prepared for the chance that Lucius or someone like him, not Draco, would be the one." She paused. "I hold no ill will towards Draco for either situation. I wish he'd see that himself. And anyway," she continued, "as for Ron, I feel bad, but sadly, I just do not feel the way about him that he does for me." She shrugged, not really sure why she was talking about all of this.
Snape stood from his chair and came to sit beside Hermione on the couch. His movements were slow and careful, but he seemed none the worse for wear, and a wave of relief swept through Hermione once more.
They sat in comfortable silence, each absorbed in their own thoughts, and Hermione struggled within herself, debating whether to ask the question she had first posed to Dumbledore months ago…
"You seem a tad distracted," Snape murmured, close by her side. This was a different Snape than one she'd yet seen, Hermione realized. This was a free Snape. He had done everything in his power to serve the Order against Voldemort for nearly two decades and now…he was free. A weight seemed to be lifted from him, knowing he was never to be forced to witness or partake in the murder of an innocent muggle, or the rape of a muggle-born witch. He could now devote his time to good in a whole new, behind-the-scenes way, by brewing the potion to stop the avada kedavra curse. If there was ever a time to ask him, this was it.
She started slowly and quietly, staring at her hands folded in her lap.
"I was wondering about something- something I've wanted to ask you for a long time- something I briefly discussed with Professor Dumbledore months ago."
"Oh?" Snape raised his eyebrows, intrigued.
"If you don't want to tell me, that's fine," Hermione hastily interjected, "but it's just something I've been curious about and-," Snape cut her off. He placed a hand under her chin and brought her face up so he could meet her eyes.
"What is it, Miss Granger?"
She took a deep breath. "Why did Professor Dumbledore want you to put memories involving me into a pensieve?" she finally blurted. "Even though you re trusted with the deepest secrets of the Order around You-Know-Who all the time?"
Snape was silent for several seconds and Hermione was afraid she'd angered him.
"What did Professor Dumbledore tell you?" he asked, his voice low and even.
Hermione shrugged a bit uncomfortably.
"He said," she began softly, "that it was a different kind of secret than those you'd been keeping for the Order. That you'd allowed yourself to become closer to me than anyone else in a very long time," she murmured. "And I was just wondering…why?"
There was a long silence. Hermione was tense and nervous, and pondered jumping up and dashing back to her room, embarrassed for asking in the first place.
"I'm sorry," she eventually broke the silence. "I should never had asked that, it's a very personal question, it's okay if you don't want-," Snape held up a hand to silence the tirade.
"I wasn't aware that you knew about that," he stated. Hermione looked sheepish.
"It was Harry and Ron's fault- they overheard something you were talking to Professor Dumbledore about at Grimmauld Place- something about him being worried about You-Know-Who seeing me in your mind."
"I recall that conversation well," Snape told her.
"I never asked before," Hermione explained, "because I was afraid it would upset you since he did see me, and then we were working together so much…" she stopped, unsure if she should say the next part. Now or never, though, right? "And…it didn't seem right to ask you while you were my professor," she murmured. "But since you're not really anymore…I figured I'd…ask."
Snape appraised her, wondering if he ought to tell her the whole story, the truth- the reason Dumbledore had feared for the security of his mind since that day in the summer…
"It's been two hours, Severus," Dumbledore gently called to him as he slept in a spare bedroom in Grimmauld Place, following his arrival with half-bandaged wounds a few hours prior. He had gotten his wand wrist healed properly and the other wounds checked over before nearly collapsing in weariness, at which point Dumbledore had insisted he lay down for an hour or so. He'd fallen asleep, and Dumbledore knew he didn't want to stay too late into the morning.
Snape twitched, startled. He looked perplexed for a moment before recalling where he was and why he was there. His vision clouded over for a second; he seemed to be recalling something, and then he looked troubled.
"Everything alright, my boy?" Dumbledore queried, worried.
"Perfect," Snape stated wryly, standing up to take his leave. Had Dumbledore been here the whole time he slept?
"You haven't spoken of Lily in many years now, Severus," Dumbledore said quietly.
Snape's face paled. He remembered his dreams. But how did Dumbledore…?
"You kept calling to her in your sleep," Dumbledore told him softly.
Snape grunted and dragged himself from the bed. He didn't particularly feel the need for the lecture about the ghosts of his past just because of one…or two…silly dreams.
"Perhaps you were right, Severus. Perhaps it was a mistake to leave Miss Granger with you this summer, alone in that big house."
Snape spun on the spot, angry and perturbed. "And what, pray tell, does she have to do with anything?" he growled.
Dumbledore looked sad. "Severus, I've seen the similarities between her and Lily Evans for a long time now. It was foolish of me not to realize that you would do the same, especially with little company but each other."
Snape was astounded, and more than a little irritated. "Albus, don't think I don't know my own place as a professor in school or out, or my own limitations as a man, regardless how similar that girl may be to another we once knew," he winced, the words even sounding harsh in his own ears. To his chagrin, Dumbledore chuckled, his eyes twinkling.
"Oh, dear me, Severus," he exclaimed, "you misunderstand me completely! Of course I have perfect faith in you and your judgment, I didn't mean to insult you in such a manner. However, I begin to fear what emotional effect she might have on you." Snape raised an eyebrow at this. "In so many years of knowing you, I have never encountered your mind so unguarded and open as it was while you slept, and it worries me," he paused. "Perhaps a pensieve would not be a bad idea," he suggested quietly.
Snape laughed derisively. "In seventeen years, never once have I slipped, my occlumency skills are too finely honed for such a mistake. And to suggest that she might be the cause of it...it's absurd," he concluded.
"Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, Severus," Dumbledore said quietly. "If he entertains even the slightest thought that she's with you, the consequences for our side will be dire."
"I've already made my mistakes, and they were a long time ago," Snape said. He rose. "And now, I must be returning, I have some things to take care."
"Just think on it, Severus…"
Hermione listened to this tale quietly and calmly, keeping her gaze fixed anywhere but Snape's face. Deep in the recesses of her mind, she'd suspected something like this…but she'd never dared to entertain those thoughts much past the onset. There was silence for some time once Snape concluded. Both were overly engrossed in their thoughts. Finally, one pressing question couldn't keep itself contained within Hermione any longer.
"Lily," she said quietly, fearing even the mention to be a source of pain. "Harry's mom?"
Snape sighed. "Yes. We were friends, before she'd ever even set eyes on James Potter, years before she ever had a civil conversation with him. We grew up in the same town. And the more involved I became with the young supporters of the Dark Lord, the more she drew away. And the more she drew away…the more I fell in love." Hermione found her eyes were wet, but she couldn't remember when she started crying. "Only the Dark Lord's threat against her was able to drive me back to Dumbledore, pleading to save her life. When they placed their trust in Pettigrew," he spat the name bitterly, "and she died, I agreed to devote my life to protecting her sacrifice. It is for her that I am here, and it is for her that I have watched over Potter, Weasley, and yourself more carefully than you realize."
Hermione mulled this over. "I'm not surprised," she said slowly. "I guess I always suspected something like that on some level," she mused. She paused and finally turned to look at Snape. He was watching her closely, trying to gauge her reaction and emotions at all. She wasn't giving much away.
"You're surprisingly calm about all of this," Snape said suspiciously. "It doesn't bother you?"
Hermione struggled for the words. "You and I…we've been through a lot together this past year," she managed. "For good and for bad. And, to finally better understand what you've been going through at the same time, the sacrifices you've made…how could I possibly begrudge you any of that?" She took a deep breath. "I was serious when I said I didn't want to bring this up when you were still my professor. Because I wondered if it was something like this, I didn't want an innocent conversation to turn into any kind of difficult situation for you, as my professor or me, as your student. But now…now that you really can't be my professor, at least not for a while…if there's anything you want to say, I'm listening with all my heart," she finished quietly, more tears falling slowly down her cheeks.
Snape slowly reached out a hand and cupped her face. She closed her eyes, the intensity of emotions overwhelming her. He gently stroked her cheek with his thumb, wiping up the moisture which ran down it.
"Why are you crying?" he sounded genuinely curious, yet choked up with passion.
Hermione let out a strangled sounding laugh. "I don't know!" she exclaimed. "I'm just so overwhelmed with everything this past day. Fear for you and Harry and Ron, happiness that you survived, frustration with Draco…and now this…"
"Hermione," Snape implored, "I haven't let myself feel emotion for another human being since Lily died, until you came so abruptly to be a big part of my life. But now that you're here…all I worry about is not making the same mistakes I did with her. I care for you too much."
He brought his other hand to hold the other side of her face. Moving ever so slowly, giving her any chance to pull away, to say no, he moved his own face closer and closer until his lips met hers in the gentlest manner she could have imagined possible. She was frozen, unable to think clearly, unable to react in any way whatsoever.
It was the briefest of kisses. He pulled away from her, afraid he'd gone too far. A whole mess of emotions was dancing across her face. He sought out her eyes and held them. Gradually, she calmed and her eyes looked…content.
She brought her own arms up to his neck and stayed there for some seconds, staring into his eyes. They were not the cold, steely obsidian she'd most often seen before; they were like flowing pools of dark water, hope, happiness, longing, doubt all swimming in them as she watched him.
He lowered his head again, and this time she met him halfway. The kiss was filled with passion, and neither let the other pull away. They held each other like that for a long time, lips moving against one another, tongues barely teasing the other as they darted out to taste the lips and then retreated…
Finally, Snape broke away.
"Hermione…" he gasped for breath. "I think…" she silenced him with a finger to his lips.
"I know," she whispered. "I know it's not this easy. But don't you think we can just have this night, carefree? Don't we owe that to ourselves, and to one another?"
His reply was to lower her down gently on to the couch, stroking her face, murmuring in her ear, kissing her face. And that was where they spent the night in each other's arms.
At the bottom of the spiral staircase leading up to the library, Albus Dumbledore smiled to himself. Really, he thought, for all Severus prides himself on his well-tuned senses…" he chuckled aloud and took his leave.
But only after casting a charm to ensure others wouldn't enter the library until Hermione and Severus departed it.
*********THE END************THE END*************THE END***************
So there it is…significantly longer, actually. I really did enjoy writing it, even if it's not what I wanted, lol. I think it's so much longer because I felt like I had to have Snape account for everything and show his own inner battle…the inner battle that was still present in ending #1, but never came to confrontation as it did in this one.
Well I have a feeling that most people like this ending better. :-P But please, let me know what you like or don't like about both of them…which do you actually prefer?
I found parts of this one to be cliché and kind of corny…but I wasn't really sure how to get around them. So this is the best I came up with in a small amount of time. Like I said, I did tackle this project just as whole-heartedly as any other chapter.
Thanks once more for all of you who have encouraged me through this story. I hope those of you who asked for an alternate ending are satisfied.
Someone suggested a sequel…not sure if I'm up to it, but maybe someday soon, my mind will go awandering and I'll be forced to follow… as you can imagine, I'm already wondering some of the things you are…what happens with Hermione and (Draco or Severus, lol), what happens to Voldemort…so we shall see.
Much love to you all, and please let me know what you think!
*~Lexi~*