Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.
Rated M for several reasons.
Chapter Thirty Five It Was a Dark and Stormy Night
BPOV
The Denalis have a minivan which we all pile into for the trip to Seattle, it's not quite the glamour I'm used to as a vampire married to Edward but its certainly practical for a large family and the squishy human gets to ride shot gun, so it's all good.
It isn't long before the conversation turns back to sex, it's not that vampires have a narrow focus, we just like sex and have more time to enjoy it than humans do.
Even Es has gone giggly and a little indiscreet.
"So." Tanya asks Rose eventually. "How's Em in the sack?"
"I don't have any sacks he'd fit in." My friend growls back.
We all laugh.
"He fits in your bed though, right?"
"Just about."
Kate, who is driving, snickers and pats her knee, Em's a big boy, we all know this.
"Are you being coy Rose?" Tanya chides her.
"Is it working?" Rose queries with her best bitch smile.
"For now." Tanya concedes. "We'll get it out of you, there are no secrets in this family."
"So Em told me." Rose replies twisting in her seat to fix Tanya with her blue eyed stare.
Zing.
Now I know Em's told her at least something about his 'trysts' with Tanya. Good boy.
"Oh look." Alice trills before Tanya can speak up again. "There's a camper van, I really miss mine."
This leads onto a long and extremely funny conversation about vampire sex in confined and 'delicate' spaces which lasts the rest of the way to Seattle and leaves Rose wondering what the guy who restored the camper van thought had happened to it.
...
"I thought you knew how to shop." Rose grumbles. "But you're disinterested compared to this lot and Alice is the absolute worst, seriously, the woman's a complete maniac . . . . My feet are killing me."
"If it's any consolation mine would be too." I commiserate. "I mean, it's all cream right? How can there be so many different shades of it? And how can they all have names? Who gets paid to think that shit up?"
There's a loud growl from her stomach.
"Oops." I snicker. "I guess we forgot to feed the human."
"I'm faint from hunger."
"Alice!" I call, bringing the cavalcade to an abrupt halt. "Rose and I are going to get some lunch, we'll text you when we're done."
We're sent on our way with cheery waves, I think we were only slowing them down.
"What do you fancy?" I ask.
"Pizza."
"Lead on Macduff, this is your hunting territory, not mine."
...
"Oh thank god." She groans, collapsing into a seat. "My feet are now officially numb and I'm so weak you may have to feed me."
I snort, as if, and we lapse into silence as the waitress brings her a coke which she drains in one go.
"Thirsty?" I observe. "That's a feeling I can sympathise with."
"Is it hard to be in the city?"
"At my age? No, not really, but it's still an adjustment, the, um, human scents, compared to Forks, they're much more concentrated and if I don't keep swallowing the venom people will think I've got rabies."
"Ew."
"We all have our crosses to bear, the positives outweigh the negatives for me but some of us can never truly adjust, I'll be honest I've met some vampires in my time who give new depth to the non-scientific term 'bat shit crazy'."
"Speaking of bat shit crazy." She drawls, thinking of Alice's shopping induced personality quirks. "How did you guys end up with the Whitlocks?"
"Ah, now there's a story . . . ."
...
Once Edward and I discovered the joy of loving marital sex the outside world lost some of its appeal for a while, but even we calmed down eventually, and I do mean eventually, quite a lot had changed while we'd been 'away'.
That was when it was brought home to me that the man Edward would have been was present and correct in the vampire.
World War was brewing in Europe and he wanted to go and fight for what was right. I had no intention of stopping him from being what he was and our argument over whether or not I would accompany him was extremely brief. So we set off, together.
Human wars are not any better than vampire wars and with hindsight I should have fought him harder on whether or not we should go at all, the way my gift urged me to. Being able to read minds, on the battlefields of Europe, my poor husband was in hell.
It didn't undo all the healing from our time with Maria, but he took it hard, nevertheless.
We returned to America and picked up our semi nomadic lifestyle where we left off, just minus the glowing Edward smile I had become so attached to before we left. I tried to talk to him about it but it was hard, I didn't have an easy life in the Southern Vampire Wars but Edward's experience was far worse.
...
"Don't misunderstand me, we weren't unhappy, we couldn't be if we were together. But I love him and I knew there was a shadow on his soul still. It killed me that I wasn't enough to eradicate it."
She sighs.
"It kills Em that he isn't enough to eradicate Dick."
"Rose, Honey, eradicating Dick is the easy part, I could do it by breathing on him too heavy. What kills Em, all of us, is that only you can eradicate Dick from your head, with all our supernatural gifts we can't do that for you."
"He's nearly gone." She says, examining the ice in the bottom of her coke intently.
"Rose." I murmur gently, waiting for her to look up at me. "I can see that Honey, we all can, take your time, do a thorough job, not a bodge."
She nods and favours me with that loving smile she'd kill me for recognising if she knew about it. Bless her.
...
We ran into vampires from time to time but not that often, away from the wars we were as rare then as we are now. Edward continued to be less than friendly and I continued to let him having grown into my shield. My neck would prickle if they posed any danger to us and with Edward's gift there was never much room for doubt.
Vampires, despite their food source, aren't inherently evil creatures, no more so than humans anyway. We made a few friends, but not many, for the most part it was better for all concerned to part ways rapidly. Especially if they recognised the Angel of Death. Our scars were usually a deterrent to building accord, they screamed warrior and danger and sensible vampires wanted less to do with us than we did with them but vampires don't change easily and stupid humans make stupid vampires. We were always running into someone who thought taking on the Angel of Death was a good move.
...
"Which is why I'm better than any backwoodsman at starting a fire with sticks."
She blinks at me and I let my predatory smile peek out.
...
Then, one day, as we were travelling the eastern seaboard looking for somewhere to settle for a while we came across the scents of a large coven. Edward was all for getting back in our ludicrously expensive car and moving on but I'd got no prickle at all so I was curious. Three males and two females, the ratio was usually the other way round, vampires don't change and most of them had come over as sexist pigs of the worst kind . . . .
...
"How many banks had you robbed by that point?"
"A few." I confess. "But in fairness with Edward's human start in life we had been investing our ill gotten gains profitably and were already filthy rich. You should see him in a Boardroom and a sharp suit, he's a god."
"You're biased." She snorts.
"Of course I am. I'm his wife."
...
Edward wasn't keen, but I was, so we stayed.
Since our voyage to Europe I'd developed a bit of an interest in boats so I was happy lurking around the harbour waiting to see the local vampires. It was obvious from the scent trails that they'd been settled here for a year or so and that interested me too, we'd never met, not even in Europe, any other vampires who settled in one place for a while the way we did. I'd always assumed it was because we hadn't met any other vampires that didn't eat humans, we'd been called freaks a time or two by that point, especially in the Old World.
We'd danced around each other for a few days, this coven and us, only ever coming into any kind of, remote, contact when surrounded by humans so we couldn't act out. All we'd gathered was that there were two mated pairs, like us, and another male. And that they had gold eyes, like ours. Vegetarians. Even Edward was curious enough to stay by that point. We asked questions in the town and soon found out that the vampires were Doctor Whitlock, his wife, her brother, and Doctor Whitlock's brother and his wife.
...
"A Doctor? I can't explain to you what a shock that was. We asked a lot of questions and he wasn't even a Doctor whose patients died unexpectedly, the locals loved him, the guy was like a saint to them, they'd have turned into a mob to come to his aid at the drop of a hat."
"We eventually met up with them on a cliff overlooking the harbour. It was a dark and stormy night . . . ."
Rose nearly chokes on her pizza.
"Jeez." I huff in annoyance. "So that's a cliché, but it was a dark and stormy night . . . ."
...
We eventually met up with each other on a cliff overlooking the harbour. It was a dark and stormy night . . . .
...
I pause to glare at her but she keeps her amusement to herself, mostly.
...
It's difficult to explain what it was like to meet Jasper for the first time when he was not pretending to be a human or a Doctor.
He was big, very big and he exuded confidence, menace and power like cologne.
Edward and I were scarred but Jasper's scars looked like they'd been intricately worked over millennia by a master calligrapher.
In short he was one scary vampire, and that was without him being able to project any fear on me because of my shield.
I probably would have changed my mind about the whole exercise and beat a hasty retreat if a smiling Alice hadn't been peeking round his massive frame and bouncing with excitement.
We found out later that she had foreseen our meeting going well but Jasper, who was aware of Edward's reputation, wasn't prepared to take any chances with his mate and coven.
So there we stood, on that dark and stormy night.
Alice and I slightly behind our mates but smiling at each other and Jasper and Edward engaging in a very long testosterone fuelled stare down.
"Jasper." Alice said eventually. "I am attracting moss and lichens, can we move this along?"
He laughed, and that man had the deepest warmest laugh of any being I have ever met. And then he smiled, which was also quite impressive.
Edward was not impressed and I had to wonder what he was reading in Jasper's mind that was making him so tense.
It turned out Jasper was aware of his gift and was basically 'telling' him everything he knew about him from the gossip about his time as the Angel of Death to Alice's vision of him becoming a loving member of their family. And, being Jasper, showing Edward some of his own history.
Edward wasn't equipped at that point to see it as an overture of friendship so we had to stand there a little while longer.
"Jasper, Edward, perhaps we should speak for Bella's benefit?" Alice suggested.
"You know us?" I gasped, instinctively moving closer to Edward who reached out to pull me into this side.
"Its complicated love." He said quietly. "But I believe we should listen to them."
We talked all night . . . .
...
"Was it still dark and stormy?" Rose enquires, batting her eyelashes at me.
"No. The rain had gone and the moon came out from behind a cloud. I can tell you the exact temperature if that helps?"
"No thanks, I'm good."
Cheeky minx.
...
I sat quietly as they talked, which is my way when I'm learning something new, I like time to absorb it.
Eventually Edward and Jasper began talking about their shared experiences of death and destruction and Alice scooted closer to me so we could talk ourselves. She explained about their coven, which they very much thought of as a family, their lifestyle living and working among humans and more on her visions of Edward and me joining them. I asked her the myriad questions my mind had been marshalling and she answered them all openly and honestly.
I had no prickles about what she said and I could visualise it so easily it was almost as if I could see her visions.
When we were done Edward and Jasper were still talking quietly so we sat and listened. After a while she took my hand and I let her.
It's hard to describe that night, but I think Jasper did more for Edward during that conversation than I had ever managed before.
...
"There's nothing like meeting a redeemed man when you doubt you can be one yourself." I conclude.
She blinks and smiles that smile at me again and I smile back.
She'd better be my sister one day or I'm taking Em's balls and fucking keeping them.
...
I was sold but nevertheless I agreed with Edward and Jasper that we'd travel with them for a while and see how it went.
Esme and Carlisle were wonderful people and welcomed us immediately.
And so did Em, though with a lot less decorum and a lot more teasing.
He and Edward tussled many times in those early days and not always in the friendly way they enjoy now.
Like any Dad Jasper would wade in and separate them when needed, which was how I first got to see where the confidence and menace came from, he handled the highly skilled warrior and the giant prodigiously strong doofus like a couple of scrawny chickens.
It was after one of those incidents that Jasper and Alice decided we were all going to attend High School to learn how to behave like normal teenagers. To my intense surprise I loved it, and so did the others. We went to school, we went to college, we worked, and then we moved and started all over again.