A/N A little look into Beck with some flash backs.

Chapter 35

Creep

Beck

I walked back into the RV where I once lived to get the rest of my stuff so I could move into the Vega's. I sat on the bed and looked out the window to the house that I so desperately want to be in. My father has always thought of me as the mistake that he and my mother made 17 years ago. They both wanted to wait five year between kids, but one drunken night I was made. My sister was two years old when I was born. You would think that my father would be happy that he had a son, but I wasn't what he wanted from the time my mother told him about me.

I waited in the RV for my parents to leave so I could go into the house and get my things that were there. My mother said she would leave the back deck door unlocked, but I better be gone by the time they returned. She didn't want to see me either, because I chose the Vega's over her. Well she chose my father over me a long time ago, so why should I stay and get the abuse that comes with living with a man that hates me?

I lay back on the bed and let my mind run, knowing it was a mistake. But I couldn't do anything else.

(*)(*)(*)

"Dad, look! I got straight A's on my report card!" I ran into the living room, waving it over my head, eager to show my dad my report card.

"So? Your sister has been getting straight A's since she started school. I'm proud of Tiffany. You are just trying to be like her. And you will fail, badly. You don't have what it takes to imitate her." My brooding hulk of a father ruffled his newspaper, pointedly not looking at the canary yellow copy the school had sent home with me. I still held it outstretched toward him for a couple of moments, before slowly withdrawing my hand.

"You're right, dad. I'm sorry for bothering you," I said in a small voice as I turned away from him. I walked slowly out of the den, back into the kitchen, where I handed my report card to mom before I slid up the stairs to my room to sit quietly until dinner was ready. I had just graduated the third grade. What did he want from me?

(*)(*)(*)(*)

I shook my head, trying to dispel the memory. I could just say he was tired, like my mom always did, but I knew even then that I didn't matter to him. I have thought about going into the military just to get away, but I have to finish school. And being the youngest of the gang, I won't turn eighteen until October, so I would have to get my parents to sign for me, and that would never happen in this lifetime. I want to talk to David about this, because I know I want to go to college, but my father never set any money aside for me for college. Or for anything at all, really. You would think that I would hate the guy, but I don't. True, I despise the air he breathes and loathe the ground he walks on. I may lie awake and curse his name and dream of his death, but I do not now or have I ever hated him.

I sit up when I hear the noisy car that tells me that my parents were leaving. I get up and walk to the window where I can watch them back down the driveway. Once they have turned the corner at the end of the street, I walk out of the RV and over to the back door off the deck. Where I am not surprised to find that my mother did not leave it unlocked. This is so much like her! She would always tell me one thing then do the opposite. There is no doubt that she is half way drunk, and it's only nine in the morning. I walk back to the RV, grabbing the stuff I had in there. After I put it in my truck, I sat thinking about how my father didn't want to pay for HA but my sister said she would. I really pissed him off because he just told me that he wouldn't waste his money on me. She has been paying for my schooling from day one. I just couldn't ask her to pay for my college, too. So I'm going to have to find another way. I could take a year off and get a job, save money, then go back. Or I could go into the military and get more than just college money out of it. Plus, if my father is lucky, I'll be killed and he won't have to worry about me being wasted space anymore. Oh well, I need to talk to David about this stuff. I know that he will give me good advice. I drive back to the Vega's house to find that everyone is home and I'm getting nervous, however this has to happen.

When I walk in, Trina and Jade are in the kitchen with Holly and Tori, making dinner. I look around, not immediately finding David. His car was here, so he might be in his office. "Hey Holly, is David in his office?" I asked, making Holly jump a little. Guess she didn't know I was home. She tapped the spoon on the side of the pan and set it aside before walking over to me. She gave me a quick hug and spied the pile of stuff I had left by the front door.

"Oh yes, dear. He is in there with Robbie. Do you need any help getting that up to your room?" I shake my head and take my stuff up to my room. I wasn't up here more than three minutes and there was a knock on the open door. I looked up to see Trina standing in the doorway. I smiled and waved her in.

"So what's up?" she asked as she took some shirts out of one of the trash bags I had thrown my stuff in and started to fold them. I took them from her and put them into the dresser. Our hands touched gently a few times while we worked quietly for a few before I answered her.

"I wanted to talk to your dad, but he's with Robbie. Wonder if Rex got out of hand again?" I gave a small laugh. Trina chuckled as well.

"No. Robbie tried to call his mom to tell her where he was, but his dad answered. Didn't turn out too well. I guess his dad didn't even know he was gone. Robbie said something when he got off the phone; that his little sister was there with that monster with no one to protect her. So dad took him right away to his office," Trina confided to me before she started folding some shorts. I tucked them into the dresser while she stepped over to the bag again, bent over with her ass to me. She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled. She rummaged in the bag a moment before she straightened up and turned back to face me. "Hey Beck, what do you think Robbie meant about his father being a monster?" Trina had a look of fear.

"Well, sweetie, I hate to say it, but I think we both know what he meant." I took her hand as she looked away. "Hey, if anyone could help Robbie's little sister, then it's your dad, right?" She gave me a sad nod. She sighed and gave my hand a squeeze.

"I just think we need to be here for Robbie. He is going to need us more than ever. If his sister is removed from the home, then he may not get to see her." She walked over to my window, looking out at the beautiful view. I walked over and put my hand on her shoulder.

"I just wish I had a big enough house for all of us…throwaways. If you think about it Jade, Tori, Robbie, Cat, and you will be going off to college and I will be moving on with Tiffany soon. So that still leaves Robbie's little sister without a place." I felt sick to my stomach, and I stepped away again, folding my arms across my stomach. "God, he's right. I can't do anything right." I just want to make things work for everyone, and I haven't.

"Beck, where is this coming from? You know that your father is a hard ass and stupid. He doesn't know one thing about you, and that is sad, and he is the one missing out." Trina put her arms around my shoulders, pushing herself against my back. "Beck, when are you going to see what the rest of us see?" Trina asked, and I knew she was getting sad, but what could I do? I have had this bastard cut me down for so long that it has become my life. That is one reason why I wanted to go to Hollywood Arts, to show myself that I was more than what he thought. But now that we are approaching the end of our time there, I have nowhere else to go.

"Trina, I wanted to talk to David about this, but besides Jade, you have become my other go-to person. I can't go to college, because I don't have any money to go. So I was thinking about going into the military." I couldn't look at her when I said it. I didn't really want to see her reaction. Seeing Trina sad, well, that hurt me in ways I just can't explain. But if I had to guess, I'd say that this had really stressed her out, judging by how tightly she clamped down on my shoulders.

"Beck, don't you think there is another way?" She sounded a bit upset, but I still couldn't look at her.

"I'm just keeping all my options open, but I do think that this is the best one, so far," I said. I winced in pain as her nails started to dig into my shoulder. It hurt, but it didn't bother me at all.

"No, it isn't. Because you will be leaving me," she said quietly.

"I'll be back and …hell, Trina. I haven't even left yet, or even enlisted, for that matter. I have to wait until I'm eighteen, so you can calm down." I looked at her for the first time as I turned to face her. Her dark brown eyes were shining with emotion, and her normally olive skin was very pale except for blooms of rose splashed across her cheekbones. "Trina, I wouldn't leave you. No matter where I'm at, you will always be in my life," I tell her. Her arms slid up and curled around my shoulders. I hug her back, my hands sliding against her waist.

"I may be in your life, but you will still be gone," she said in a small voice. I moved even closer to her, causing us to lock eyes. I watched as she licked her lips and I leaned in. I was inches away from her lips when we heard Jade's voice loud and clear from the living room.

"Tori, you have no idea what you're talking about!" Jade yelled. We jumped back from each other, both of us suddenly self-conscious. I turned toward the door and ran down to find out what was going on. Trina was a step behind me. When Tori and Jade fought these days, it was never pretty. They would always say or do something to hurt the other one. I have seen Jade say something so hurtful to Tori that in return she punched Jade in the face. Now, it wasn't so much that Tori hit Jade, that happened all the time before they started dating, it was more that Tori hit Jade so hard that she blooded her mouth, nose and blackened her eye in one hit. Being a cop's daughter does come with its perks. We ran to the bottom of the stairs and found them sitting on the couch, looking at a book.

"It is too scary!" Tori yelled back. She flipped a page in the book, pointing to another DVD in its sleeve.

"Saying that Ghost Ship is anywhere half as scary as Devil's Rejects is like saying that the Ring was about a wrong number! There is no comparison." Jade sighed and threw her hands in the air. "If you want to watch a decent movie, and I mean a horror movie, then at least make it worth the time." Jade went to take the book back, but Tori pulled it closer to herself. Trina rolled her eyes and walked over to the girls. Grabbing the book, she growled, making both of them jump. I laughed quietly as Trina flipped pages in the book.

"Here, I'll pick a movie that you both will like. Here's an oldie but goodie. Dial M for Murder. It has just enough suspense to keep Jade happy and you in her arms. There. Now everyone is happy." Trina was walking back to me when Jade poked her head over the couch.

"I'm hungry, mommy. Can we eat first?" Trina walked back to the couch, snatching a pillow from under Jade's arm and hitting her over the head with it. I crack up, laughing deeply. Oh, it's going to be fun living with these people.

"NO!" Trina yelled in a fair imitation of Jade's voice and ran up the stairs. I turned and hurried up to my room, finding Trina already back in there. I walk in with a smile, closing the door behind me and throwing the lock. Yep, it's going to be so much fun living with these people.

Please review