Chapter 34: Spies in the Woods

The golden leaves of the woods were just beginning to brighten as the rising sun speckled light on them through the multitude of branches canvassing the forest canopy. I extended my right leg forward slowly as I sought to focus within myself through the meditation exercises Vi and I were performing. Both of us were clad in thin cotton yoga pants and a sports bra in a secluded part of the forest that was near enough to Caras Galadhon but far enough to give us peace.

Peace was something I was fervently looking for since the events of the previous night. After the confrontation with Elrohir I spent a couple hours wandering in the woods before going to sleep in the talan Vi and I shared. My friend was fast asleep by then, as I had intended, so we had not discussed the confrontation.

I had pondered on the situation throughout the course of my night time meanderings and kept coming to two conclusions. One: that I needed to end my romantic ties to Elladan because a relationship with an immortal elf from another dimension is just not feasible. Two: that while my mind may determine that is a good course to take, my heart wasn't very fond of the idea.

But I stilled these thoughts and began to refocus on centering myself. Extending my senses outward I could feel the steady beating of my heart, the tension in my arm muscles as I held form for several minutes, and the sweet taste of morning as it entered my mouth and carried its way to my lungs. The slightest breeze ran its fingers through my hair that swung freely from its ponytail and I shivered in spite of myself as I involuntarily imagined it was the fingers of Elladan.

Immediately I concentrated on maintaining my meditative breathing and the feel of the soft blades of grass under my bare feet. I quelled my innermost worries and opened up my senses to the world. With the coming of the sunrise brought the beginning of daily activity in the city. To my right I could hear the burgeoning chatter of voices as the ellith and ellyn prepared breakfast or other morning chores. Farther behind me the wind carried the neighing of the stable horses that seemed ready for a breakfast of their own. Morning birds delivered the news among the animals of the forest through their high, clear songs. All in all the city was peaceful and it was a wonderful experience to realize how much of that peace was due to the lack of industrialized society. The harsh sounds of car motors or morning television created an atmosphere of chaos like back home.

My closed eyes opened quickly when Vi said, 'Sofia, looks like we have some fans in the stand." She smiled and only slightly indicated with a tip of her head to my right. Interesting no matter how aware I am the stealth of the elves can still surpass my skills. I really must look into that secret of theirs.

Looking to where she pointed I realized it wasn't just elf stealth that sneaked by. Elladan, Amras, and Aragorn were watching us intently fifty feet away. I ended my form and brought my arms to cross over my chest, quite aware that my sports bra wasn't the most conservative outfit. I sensed Vi felt similarly since her cheeks heated up lightly.

"Yes?" I asked haughtily. I mentally steeled myself from noticing how the sunlight lit a blue highlight in Elladan's gorgeous midnight hair.

Aragorn played spokesman for the group. "Forgive us for trespassing but we were meant to summon you to breakfast with the Lord and Lady. We were rather enraptured by the grace of your moves and curious as to what activity you are performing."

I looked to Vi to answer. My plan was to limit the amount of talking I did. For if I did not speak often than I would hopefully not speak something to Elladan that I would later regret. Okay, okay, it wasn't a very good plan but my brain was having a hard time strategizing.

"It's a meditative technique we employ often in our Slayer training. Sofia and I already did our preliminary exercises for the day and prefer to end our time with meditation. "She smiled shyly and I saw an intrigued expression come over Amras' face; I mused if it was regarding her or a new training technique.

"That sounds quite interesting Vi. I would enjoy learning some of those techniques in order to use with the men." Amras gave Vi a bright smile and I knew my former idea was the correct one. Subtlety, I doubt either of them saw it, I saw Aragorn raise his eyebrow slightly at me. I smirked and knew my plans to hook Vi up with someone was progressing nicely.

We walked over to them and I made sure to maintain a good distance between Elladan and I. His grey eyes tried to capture mine for a silent communication but I cleverly evaded his eyes. I'm a strong believer that looking into a person's eyes is the way to look into their soul and I did not desire him to know me at the moment.

"Well, thanks for letting us know guys. Vi and I should bathe before breakfast or else we may smell as bad as you Dunedain," I joked. Both Dunedain gave me scornful looks and Aragorn tried to open his mouth to speak but I silenced him with a wave of my hand. "C'mon, you all smelled pretty bad when you first found me.'

"Yes, our apologies that we did not get a chance to bathe before we found you. Next time a strange girl falls from a portal we will certainly bathe in rose-scented water prior to that." We laughed and before the moment ended I started to drag Vi back to the talan in hopes of putting off talking to Elladan.

Evading an elf is not a simple task, however. Like a flash of lightning too close to hear the thunder, he was beside me. "Sofia, please wait. I was hoping we could speak before breakfast."

I refused to look him in the eyes and instead focused on my mouth. Ugh, those were far too sensual looking. Chin. Okay, I'll focus on the chin. That's easy enough. "Actually, I'm afraid we do not have much time. Perhaps later?"

He started to counter but I quickly wheeled Vi and I past. "See you guys later!"

"Yeah…Bye," Vi added in a hesitant and confused voice. She started to ask a question but I gave her a 'look' because I knew elven hearing was sensitive.

Once we got to the springs where the females bathed she began a barrage of questions regarding the tension she felt between Elladan and I. In a monotonous voice that betrayed no emotion I recited the events of last night while she listened intently.

As soon as I was done she stammered indignant comments. "I cannot believe Elrohir would try to mess things up with you and his brother. I mean, why would he try to get Elladan worried about future things like going to that Valinor place and laying on the guilt trip. That seems so unfair, Sof." Her emerald eyes looked at me with sympathy and I submerged my head into the water in order to rinse my hair; and to avoid looking at her.

I came up and took a deep breath. "Actually, Vi, its okay. Elrohir had some really good points. I wasn't thinking when it came to Elladan, which was my first mistake. An immortal elf is not a good rebound.'

Vi pursed her lips and gave me a hard look. "Ah, so he's just a rebound?"

My eye twitched, an unfortunate incident that occurs in times of stress. "Well, that's not the point!"

She continued the look and I could feel her trying to peel back my layers of protection. Vi could be pretty intense when she felt the need to. "So he's not a rebound?" she inquired.

"Oh bloody, bleeding hell Vi! I don't know." She raised an eyebrow. "Okay, he's not a rebound. I've had rebounds in past years, before Erik. My feelings for him are definitely something more. But," I emphasized, "long term it's a bad idea. So why continue something fun when it will only result in tragedy and already has resulted in issue with his brother?"

We got up, toweled off, dressed, and began walking. "So you're going to stop with the smoochy time just because you're afraid things might get rough in the future?"

A sudden twinge of annoyance resulted in a glare towards her. "Vi! This is not some fairytale. I know you love your romance books," before she could deny it I clarified, "Oh hush, I've seen some of the items on your bookshelf. But this is the real world, if you can call it that," I motioned towards the towering tree city. "Elladan is over 2,000 years old, an elf and part heavenly god creature, an imposing warrior, knowledge beyond my comprehension, and he's immortal whereas I would grow old. Or, God forbid, he would give up his immortality like his sister will and be separated from his family forever." I was reveling in my rant and continued. "Not to mention there is no way on earth I could leave my family, both biological and slayer, and there is not way he could leave his world. We have no future and I don't," I bit off, "want a future with him. I don't need that hanging over my head."

I was so focused on my rant as Vi and walked up the path that I did not notice a spy was in our midst. My heart literally leaped into my throat as an angered Elladan stepped out behind a tree. His beautiful face had turned dark with furrowed eyebrows, a frown that seemed to twist his fine features, and he was visibly shaking. I was shocked and forgot to breathe for a moment as my tunnel vision focused only on Elladan. Vi left without me even noticing her departure.

"El-" my words died on my tongue as he strode towards me and left only a foot in between our bodies. My stomach twisted in nervousness and I felt guilt wash over my spirit that Elladan heard me say those things. I meant to soften it up for the moment he did corner me.

Elladan took a deep breath and I could see him try to harness some of that elven calm. "Sofia." It was a statement but in that one word I could sense an array of wrestling emotions within him: anger, confusion, and pain.

I averted his eyes, still too scared to look into them. "Sofia. Did you mean what you told your friend?"

Within me I found my anger at the situation and wrapped it around me like an impenetrablecloak. "Excuse me, but were you spying on me? What the hell gives you the right to listen in on a private conversation I have with my close friend?" I folded my arms protectively against myself and stared upwards defiantly.

He scoffed and folded his own arms. "It was not my intention to spy; I was on the way back to my talan to pick up something when I heard your voice. I only meant to try to talk to you again since you seem clear on ignoring me when I heard you speaking of me to Vi."

I made a frustrated sound. "Okay, so you admit to spying on me."

If I wasn't so emotionally messed up at the moment I would have otherwise enjoyed the way his face was screwed up as he sputtered a response. "Wh-What? No, no. I was not spying. You are being such a child, Sofia!"

I turned away from him and threw up my arms. "Good, now it starts. Of course I must seem like such a child compared to your many years."

Elladan pulled me forcibly towards him. "Don't you start, Sofia. You clearly know that wasn't what I meant. Is this your desire, to turn towards me in anger so we will stop talking? Because you do not want a future with me?"

I lost my battle and I ended up looking into his eyes. At once they were hardened but were lit by a sadness that I did not want to acknowledge. I bit my lip and took the fifth on that question.

He bit his own lip in anger and I could see a slight drop of blood creep out of the wound. "Perhaps not you, but I am the foolish one. For I came here to apologize for my brother's actions and it appears my intentions are unnecessary since you do not value me anyways."

Taking a shaky breath, I debated what to say. Do I say yes, just so we can make a clean break? But could I bear to know that sadness that seeped into his grey eyes was the result of my actions?

"Honestly Elladan, I never said I do not value you! Don't be so tonto."

"Right. So you not desiring a future with me has nothing to do with the lack of value you place upon me?" His eyes remained sad but also stared at me in a beseeching manner.

My anger at this situation washed back upon me like the high tide washing further inshore upon a beach. "For a guy who's been around for a long time, you sure can be thick! It's obviously a bad idea to continue a relationship that cannot go anywhere! And since you spied on me, you know exactly what I am already talking about. We have no future and its better to cut things off now after only a couple weeks."

"Sofia…I understand what my brother said last night was upsetting, for all of us. But I back down from nothing, regardless of what obstacles may lay before me."

I snorted. "Right, we have only minor obstacles. You know, some couples have issues because of their job schedules or money, but us? We sure have some hella crazy obstacles."

"So?" His grey eyes pieced my own and I had to fight not to lose myself. "Sofia, I have thought about us throughout the night and took no spare moment for sleep. I do not possess the gift of foresight and cannot guarantee that no pain will befall us if we continue our relationship. But I know in my heart that pain will befall me if I cannot be with you. Our time has been short thus far but it has been far sweeter than I would have deemed possible. You cannot deny we have a strong connection; and there is no way my fëa could deal with that conenction to be severed now."

My feet backed away slowly without concious thought. "Elladan, please," I whimpered. I closed my eyes and tried to block his presence out. I could feel my resolve cracking with his moving words. Like a little girl whose mother told her everything would be okay, I wanted to believe Elladan when he said we should remain together.

I felt his large hand take hold of my own. "Sofia." I looked up and our eyes met. "I feel that both of us must continue to explore our connection, our relationship. When I am with you my heart is lightened from the heaviness years of battle have formed. I see you take comfort in our time together as well. Regardless of your fears about our differences, I urge you not to turn from me now."

His touch, his words, his eyes were all making me dizzy. My emotions were a wild tornado in my heart and my mind was befuddled on how to respond to Elladan. I sighed, took a deep breath, and opened my mouth to speak.

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Tonto (Spanish): silly or fool or stupid; not a real harsh word