Chapter 36

Jude looked up at Tommy, her bloodshot eyes filled with tears. "Jude," Tommy began only to be interrupted by a screaming Jude, "Hit me Tommy." She yelled, Tommy looked at her in utter confusion, "Hurt me, I know you want to." She screamed, "Hit me." She yelled again pounding her fists against Tommy's chest, tears now streaming down her face. "No." Tommy stated simply, he enveloped her in his arms ceasing her wild thrashing. "There must be a reason for all this, its me. It's me Tommy." She bawled, her voice muffled by Tommy's shirt.

"It's me." Jude mumbled falling into semi-consciousness, Tommy's brow furrowed watching the pained expression on Jude's face. He shook her lightly dragging her back to reality. "Jude? Are you ok? You were yelling." Tommy said a worried look washing over his face. Jude looked up at Tommy, "Sorry, did I wake you?" her tiny voice sounded. Tommy shook his head running his fingers back through Jude's hair. "Bad dream?" Tommy questioned, Jude gave an unsure nod in return but didn't mention anything of the happenings of her dream. Tommy sighed cradling her and placing light kisses across her forehead.

Tommy sat at his piano absent mindedly playing a selection of notes, combining them into chords in the lower octaves. Jude had chosen to sit on the floor, leaning up against the wall beside a guitar stand bearing Tommy's acoustic and electric guitars. She lost herself in the melody, watching as his fingers brushed over the ivory keys, dancing along the length of the keyboard his hands slipping up to the black sharps and flats occasionally. Words flowed through her mind, slipping and forming into a logical order.

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

Tommy turned quickly, hearing Jude's voice rise. He stumbled over notes and keys keeping the melody going trying to avoid taking his eyes off Jude.

He turned back to the keys infront of him, changing the progression of notes as Jude began what Tommy was sure was the chorus.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time can not erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

Tommy reverted to the slight change in melody he had created for the chorus as Jude continued to sing.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time can not erase

There was no question in Tommy's mind regarding the muse for this song. He turned on the piano stool as Jude stopped singing, "Jude, that song was amazing." Jude looked up from the floor, tears threatening to stain her porcelain cheeks, "It was over." She choked out, Tommy's brow furrowed. He slipped off the smooth leather of the seat and Joined Jude on the floor, "Shh, don't cry" he whispered wrapping his arms around her in an attempt to offer some comfort, "What was over?" Tommy questioned, confused by her brief statement. Jude sniffled trying to find words. "My dream, I ended it all, it was over." She said falling silent, "and I was glad." she added in a barely audible tone.

Tommy's eyes widened in shock and disbelief, 'Did she just say she dreamt about committing suicide!?' "Jude, I know what you're going through right now, but please, don't ever think that is your way out. Please Jude." Jude looked up, her glistening sapphire eyes stabbing at his heart. "Tommy, you have no idea what I'm going through, what I've been through, how much is hurts, how much is scares me. Every. Single. Day." Jude said, her voice cracking and rising to the point of hysteria. "Then tell me Jude, I'm here, I'm here to comfort you when you cry. I'm never going to know what's going on inside of you if you don't tell me Jude."

Jude nodded as Tommy reached out brushing her tears away with his thumb, his fingers traced over her jaw line, his thumb resting upon her lower lip. Jude kissed it, drawing a smile from Tommy as he moved his thumb, lifting her chin and leaning in to kiss her. It was a chaste kiss, yet it held all the meaning in the world. All the love he could give, in a single breath. They broke apart and Jude closed her eyes as Tommy placed a light kiss on each of her cheeks. She smiled, he was the reason she couldn't leave.

You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Note:

Because you loved me-Celine Dion Just in there cause I felt it summed up a little of how Jude feels about Tommy... not being sung or anything.. imagine movie style playing in the background hahahahhaa... also.. cause I amazed myself in actually singing it randomly at the end and knowing all the lyrics without knowing the title... it was weird hahaha...