MANDATORY AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, so I lied. This isn't the last chapter. I realized that perhaps I am not ready to be done with this story yet. Besides, there's quite a bit of stuff that has to be wrapped up before it can end. Idk how many more chapters there will be, but all you need to know is it isn't over yet!
DISCLAIMER: This disclaimer applies to the entire story. Kingdom Hearts and any and all things having to do with it do not belong to me. However, the plot and plot events are entirely MINE, along with the band Destiny's Embrace, the use of the word Hikari as a name, and the characters' personalities. I See Stars is not my band, and I use the lyrics from one of the songs on their brand new album in this chapter. The song is called When I Say Jump, You Say How High, and it is so good, you HAVE to listen to it while reading this chapter!
NOTES: This story is rated M. This chapter has a lemon in it. I realized there hadn't been one in like, a bajillion years haha.
ENJOY!
~x~
Chapter Thirty-Four
~x~
Kairi tapped her fingers against the table in front of her, wondering to herself about why she was here. First of all, she had no idea whether or not her adoptive father would see her, nor if he even cared about her anymore. Throughout all of the family drama, her father had done nothing more than disown her and never speak to her again. The fact that he was allowing her to wait in his office while he decided if he wanted to talk with her was a miracle in and of itself.
Beside her, Vanitas was sitting in one of the chairs that was opposite Kairi's father's mahogany desk. His black hair was wild and sticking up in all sorts of directions, contrasting immensely with the rather sharp-looking suit he was clad in. Why he felt the need to dress up so much, Kairi had no idea.
"Vani, really; my dad isn't a stickler. You didn't have to wear that," Kairi laughed quietly to him.
"Kairi, you don't know what you're talking about. If I want your father to take me seriously, I better wear this thing, and wear it well." His sunset-colored eyes twinkled.
"Why? It's not like you're the one who was disowned," Kairi said with a roll of her eyes. "My father has never disliked you or Sora—only me."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Vanitas snorted, sitting up straighter in his seat. "We had a hand to play in his son getting arrested and sent to prison . . . You really think he likes us now?"
Kairi stayed silent. He had a point. It hadn't taken long for Riku to be convicted, especially when Namine's mother came forward and testified against Riku for assaulting her daughter. Apparently, having medical proof and DNA evidence really was enough to convict. Kairi hadn't even needed to take the stand—the jury had sentenced him without even asking for her spoken testimony.
Thinking back on that day, just one month ago, it made Kairi a little sad. It wasn't that she loved her brother, rather . . . It was the sense of loss that she felt at the idea of him. That he was supposed to have treated her like a sister. He was supposed to have protected her from harm. It was the kind of loss that filled Kairi with a void that seemed to get wider by the day. It was hard, waking up each day and realizing that you had no real family left.
But that feeling wasn't why Kairi was sitting in her adoptive father's office at her childhood home, awaiting a meeting with him, and that most certainly wasn't why Vanitas was with her.
"Do you . . . Do you think he'll say yes?" Vanitas whispered, even though they were alone.
Kairi reached over and grabbed his hand. Vanitas was as close of a brother to her as one could get. "Don't worry, Vani. He may want nothing to do with me, but he has an eye for investment."
"Truer words couldn't be spoken."
Kairi and Vanitas turned simultaneously to see Kairi's father enter the room. Kairi's heart skipped a beat and she tried not to stare. It was hard, seeing the man who had raised you and knowing that he despised you. She wanted everything to be normal again, and she wished she could run and jump into his arms. But she knew better—she knew it couldn't be the same ever, ever again.
"Vanitas Yoshimura," her father said, eyeing the suit-wearing boy curiously. "What brings you to my office?"
Vanitas narrowed his eyes. "Kairi and I wanted to discuss something with you."
Kairi's fathers eyes slid over her as if he had just noticed her presence. He gazed at her for a longer moment than was average, and then looked away. Kairi had to pretend it didn't hurt.
"A proposition, I'm supposing?" her father said, meandering over to the side of the room that hosted a liquor bar. He began to mix himself a drink.
"Yes," Vanitas answered, adjusting himself in his chair. "Having to do with my brother and our band."
"I'm guessing you want studio time at one of my many studios across the island, no?" The clinking of ice in a glass seemed louder than it really was, and Kairi cringed. Her father was rich, to put it bluntly, and owned way more than studios. If he helped Sora's band to make their first album, used his connections to get it advertised and sold on the mainland, then they could be big. They could leave the island and follow their dreams.
Sora could be happy—Kairi's repayment to him for the loss of Roxas.
Sora had barely spoken to Kairi since the trial. It was rare if she saw him for longer than five minutes at a time. They had moved back into the house that Roxas had been renting, and he and Vanitas had gotten jobs to keep up with the rent. Kairi rarely saw him when he was off work, and when he wasn't at work, then he was at his GED class. Whenever he was free, he was usually holed up in Roxas' old room. Kairi had tried once and only once to move the things out of that room—Sora had been so angry with her that she was afraid he was going to break up with her.
It was at that point in time that Kairi made an inner resolution to do whatever she could to make him happy again, no matter what the cost.
"If you would just come to one of our shows, sir," Vanitas was saying chipperly, "then you could make your decision then?"
Kairi's father steepled his fingers beneath his chin and eyed Vanitas for a long moment. After quite some time, he said, "All right, boy. I and some people I know will come by your next concert. We'll listen and make our decision then. How does that sound?"
Vanitas looked at Kairi with wild, ecstatic eyes, and then nodded enthusiastically at her father.
"Are you fucking serious?" Vanitas laughed incredulously.
Kairi's father arched one eyebrow, a slight twinkle in his eyes that reminded Kairi of when she was a child. She had to look away.
"Pardon my French, of course." Vanitas tried to hide his smile, leaning forward to shake his hand. "You won't be disappointed, sir. I promise you."
Kairi's father couldn't help but crack a smile as well. "After everything you've been through, it's the least I can do." He paused, and then looked directly into Kairi's eyes. "And after everything you and your brother have done for my daughter, I owe it to you."
Kairi sat up ramrod straight in her chair, tears slowly filling her cerulean eyes. Was her father saying what she thought he was saying? He still . . . Thought of her as his daughter?
"Daddy," was all Kairi could say before she dissolved into sobs of relief. Her father was on his feet in seconds, walking around his desk to gather her up in his arms. He picked her up and swung her around, just as he had doen when she was a little girl, and when he spoke, it was gut-wrenching.
"I'm so sorry, baby girl," he choked out, the first time Kairi had ever heard him show more emotion that was necessary. "I should have been there for you when you first came to me. I shouldn't have disowned you. I . . . I should have believed you . . ."
Kairi tried to speak, but no words issued forth past her tears. She was so happy that this was happening. So happy to know that the only father she'd known still loved her.
Kairi's father pushed her back and held her at arm's length. He smiled sadly down at her, saying the words that she had not only never heard him utter, but she had secretly longed to hear for years.
"Riku is my son, but you are also my daughter. I can't look at you without remembering what it felt like to hold you in my arms for the first time. You were so small and so innocent, and you are my child just as much as Riku is. I am truly, truly sorry for what was happening to you right under my nose . . . M-My son . . . There is no excusing what he did, and there is no excusing how I treated you afterward. I—"
Kairi shook her head and smiled, cutting him off. "No, Daddy, it's okay. Well, it's not okay, but . . . What I'm trying to say is I'm happy that you still love me. I thought you never wanted to see me again, but now I know that isn't true and I'm . . . I'm so, so happy."
Kairi's father hugged her again. "Well, I have a meeting coming up. But I really do want to see you soon. Where are you living now?"
Kairi squeezed his arm, seeing the guilt in his eyes. She knew she would forgive him, though . . .
"Don't worry," she said with a smile. "Sora's taking really good care of me. And so is Vanitas."
As if on cue, Vanitas stepped toward them and shook Kairi's father's hand again. "She has everything she needs at our house, sir. We both work and we provide food, clothes, everything she wants. And we don't charge her a thing."
Kairi couldn't help but smirk. Vanitas was usually so . . . "in-your-face independent." It was amusing to see him acting so humble and trying to please her father.
Kairi's father grinned. "Good, that is wonderful to hear. But I wouldn't be the dad if I didn't tell you to make sure she gets a job. And make sure she isn't sharing a bed with Sora. They aren't married."
Vanitas went so pale that Kairi couldn't stop herself from cracking up.
"Um . . . I'll relay the message to my brother," Vanitas said, gulping nervously. "Anyway, we better go. Sir, the next show is this weekend. Should I leave my number with you or . . . ?"
"Go ahead and leave your number, and the other members of the band's numbers with my secretary right outside the door. I'll get together with my people, and we'll call you, keep you updated."
"Sounds good," Vanitas said, shaking Kairi's father's hand again. "Again, thank you so much, sir. This could really be our shot. Thank you."
"No problem at all. One more hug before you go, Kairi, and I'll call you later this week so we can have you and Sora over to the house for dinner."
Hugs and handshakes over, they said their goodbyes and headed out. After a short stop at the secretary's desk, Vanitas and Kairi practically ran to their car. They were both overjoyed at how successful the meeting had been on all sides, and excited to tell Sora what had happened.
"Aw, man, this is so awesome!" Vanitas cried as he turned the car on and pulled out of the parking lot.
"I'm really happy for you," Kairi smiled. "Really . . . Now, to just get Sora onboard."
An uncomfortable silence settled over the two, instantly dampening their moods.
Ah, yes. Kairi had forgotten . . . The only thing standing in the way of Sora's dreams and happiness . . . Was himself.
~x~
When Kairi and Vanitas got home, it was quiet as usual. Zidane was napping on the couch, a movie playing on the TV screen. Tidus was in the kitchen, talking to his girlfriend Yuna on the phone (they'd started dating shortly after Kairi had been forced out of school) while he did the dishes. Kairi could see her friends Fuu and Olette sitting out on the back patio smoking, which was a kind of comfort all on its own. She was happy that they were her friends again—she didn't think she'd be able to function right now without them, especially with how distant Sora was right now.
Vanitas and Kairi both glanced down the hallway at the sound of the toilet flushing and the bathroom door opening. Kairi was filled with a flood of memories, remembering how she had tried to end her own life in the bathtub in that very room. She could still hear the unbridled emotion in Sora's voice that day—could still hear him begging her to be okay. And now, as he exited that same bathroom, turning off the light behind him, their eyes locked and shared those very same memories.
"Hi," Kairi said softly.
Sora looked away, and the moment was broken. He ran a finger through his long, tousled chestnut spikes. "Where were you guys?" he asked with a yawn.
Vanitas hesitated, and then said hopefully, "Well, we were meeting with Kairi's dad. He, uh . . . He says he knows some people, and they might be able to help us make our first demo."
Sora's eyes hardened, and without a word, he turned and walked back into Roxas's room. The door slamming was so loud that it woke Zidane. The blonde sat up, looking bewildered.
"Waa—What happ . . . ?" he asked, blinking owlishly.
"Nothing," Kiri sighed sadly. "Just Sora again."
"Oh," Zidane said, scowling. "Man, I wish he wasn't such an ass."
"Just let it be," Kairi said quickly, before Vanitas went off on Zidane.
"Fuck this shit," Vanitas cursed, storming out of the house with a door slam of his own. Moments later, Kairi could hear his car turning on and speeding down the road.
With a heavy sigh, Kairi shook her head and walked out to the patio to join her friends. Olette and Fuu smiled happily when they saw her, and Kairi went to sit on Olette's lap.
"Aww, you look tired," Olette said, taking a drag off of her cigarette and blowing the smoke outward so it didn't bother Kairi. "Did the meeting not go well?"
"No, the meeting went great," Kairi said in a monotone, resting her head on Olette's shoulder.
Fuu raised one eyebrow and put her cigarette out on the concrete below her feet. "Liar?"
"No, really," Kairi protested. "I'm being honest—it went really, really well. My dad apologized to me, and he told Vanitas that he was going to go to one of their concerts and check them out . . ."
"Then why do you still sound sad?" Olette asked worriedly.
"Why do you think?" came Kairi's miserable reply.
"Sora," Fuu said, rolling her eyes.
Olette scowled, "God, he needs to wake up and realize that life has to go on."
"It's really hard for him, though," Kairi pouted. "Losing Roxas . . . I don't know if he'll ever be the same."
"Depression," Fuu muttered.
"Yeah, he's depressed," Kairi agreed. "I can't blame him for missing his cousin."
"I know that," Olette said, sounding exasperated. "But do you really think Roxas would want him to be like this? Moping around all the time except to scream at everyone to leave him alone? I heard him yelling at you the other night, Kairi—don't pretend like it didn't happen."
Kairi blushed and got up off of Olette's lap. How embarrassing. She had hoped that nobody had heard that argument . . . She didn't want anyone thinking Sora was abusive, which he wasn't by any stretch of the imagination.
It had been early in the morning when Kairi had woken up for the umpteenth time in the past month to see Sora's place in his bed empty beside her. She had grown so frustrated. Her nightmares were getting worse and even though she knew it was selfish, she wished she could wake up and see him there so she could have something to hold onto. And in any case, it had been nearly two months. Sora was barely living well, if living at all. He was like a zombie. Work, school, sleep seemed to be his mantra, and Kairi was tired of it. She was tired of seeing him sad.
Long story short, Kairi had stormed into Roxas's room in her underwear and shouted at him to get up and come back to bed. He'd opened his eyes on the spot, obviously not having been asleep, and flipped his shit. He'd pretty much roared at her to "leave him the fuck alone" and to "never speak to him again." He'd pushed her out into the hallway so hard that she'd fallen back against the wall, effectively waking up Vanitas. Vanitas had let her sleep in his bed with him because he was so angry (strictly platonically, of course), and the next day, nobody had seen Sora come out of Roxas's room for the entire day.
"I don't know what to do, guys," Kairi said, tears of frustration escaping the corners of her eyes. "He isn't like this. He's just . . . He's so sad. I just want to fix him and make it better."
Fuu came and put her arms around Kairi, saying nothing while Kairi tried her best not to weep.
Olette said with a sigh, "Kairi, I've been telling you this since the funeral: you can't fix people. There's nothing to fix when emotions are involved. You have to take care of yourself first."
Kairi whirled on her in alarm. "So what are you saying?! That I should break up with him? Leave him, after everything we've been through?!"
"N-No, I—"
"I love him, Olette," Kairi grumbled, turning back around. "I'm not gonna leave him when he needs me most."
"Hypocrite," Fuu said, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows.
"Fuu's right," Olette said, putting out her cigarette forcefully and standing up. "He wasn't there for you when you needed him. None of us were. Fuu and I wouldn't expect you to stick around if we needed you—you don't owe us that, after how we treated you. And Sora treated you worse, so why are you putting yourself in pain when you could be happy?"
Kairi closed her eyes. She hated how logical they sounded. By all rights, she didn't owe Sora anything. But she couldn't leave him. She loved him too much.
Didn't she?
"Come on," Olette pouted. "Let's not talk about this stuff. Let's go shopping or something."
"Wonderful!" Fuu said excitedly, cracking a smile and grabbing Kairi's hand for a squeeze.
"Hm . . . Well, okay," Kairi agreed begrudgingly. "Maybe it'll help me take my mind off of things . . ."
And so the girls set off, with all the determination in the world to cheer Kairi up. As they left, Kairi looked longingly at Roxas's bedroom door and hoped that eventually, everything would turn out all right.
She hoped that eventually, Sora would be happy again.
~x~
When, Kairi, Olette, and Fuu stumbled into the house at 2 AM, laughing and giggling like madwomen, they didn't expect to be met at the door by Vanitas. They especially didn't expect him to be angry with them,
"Where have you guys been?" he demanded, glaring at Olette, who had recently become his girlfriend.
"What do you mean?" Kairi snorted. "We went shopping and then we went to a club. What does it matter?"
"What matters is that I had no idea where you guys were, or if you were safe. No phone calls, nothing!" Vanitas hissed, his orange eyes lazing. "You guys could have been attacked or hurt."
"Why?" Fuu scowled.
"I thought all the members of the Organization and Riku's gang were dead . . . ?" Olette asked.
"And we took a taxi home, so we didn't drive tipsy or anything," Kairi supplied, her voice slurring just a tad. "So I don't get why you're freaking out!"
"Okay, look," Vanitas sighed heavily, rubbing his temples. "I'm not trying to freak out, or whatever. I'm just . . . I'm at my wit's end with Sora, Kairi. You need to talk some sense into him."
Instantly feeling sober, Kairi frowned and straightened up. "What happened?"
Vanitas threw his arms wide, and it was then that Kairi saw the wicked shiner that ringed his left eye. Her jaw dropped in horror and her hands flew to her mouth. They had gotten into a fight?
Vanitas said, "I went in and tried to talk to him again about the band, and he flipped out and started wailing on me. I think he was drunk, because there was an empty bottle of Jack on the ground. I don't know, but he's insane."
"And you want Kairi to go in there?!" Olette wailed.
"Crazy!" cried Fuu.
"It's fine, guys," Kairi huffed. "I'll go in there. I'm so sick of this shit."
Everyone was quiet as they watched Kairi march up to Roxas's bedroom door and knock loudly. When Sora didn't answer, Kairi went in anyways and shut the door behind her.
Things felt so perfect
Was it worth it?
People talk and they talk I'm so sick of it
I've made a monster
Love gone wrong
I'll pay for the past and the things I've done
Sora was sitting on the edge of Roxas's bed, glaring at nothing in particular. He wasn't drinking, but it was clear that he was drunk. He was swaying slightly, and his eyes were rimmed in red. He was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a studded belt, and he was shirtless. His hair was an absolute and total spiky mess, and when he looked up at Kairi, she had to take a step back out of fear.
"What do you want?" Sora spat, his voice like acid. "I thought I told you guys to leave me alone."
Kairi mustered up all of her courage and stomped one of her platform heels against the hardwood floor. "Yeah, well . . . I don't care what you told me to do! I'll do whatever I want! And for the record, I'm getting really sick and tired of your moping around! Everyone else is trying to get on with their lives! You should, too!"
You'll never let this go
You're still hooked on mistakes I've made
Just give it time
This feeling haunts my mind
Just give it some time
Sora stared at her incredulously for what felt like hours before he finally choked out, "Get on with my life? Are you fucking kidding me? You want me to just wake up and forget?"
"No, Sora!" Kairi cried, putting her hands on her hips. "I want you to be happy. We're all tired of seeing you like this."
"Well fine. Just fucking fine." Sora threw his hands up into the air. "Because you all want me to be better, I'm better. Fuck how I feel, and fuck what I want. Because you want it, it shall be."
"Sora!" Kairi cried. "You know that isn't what I meant!"
"Then what did you mean, Kairi?" Sora got to his feet with anger in his stance and pain in his gaze.
Kairi took another step back and hit the door softly. "I'm not . . . I understand that you're . . . You're trying to grieve, but . . . But you'll never be able to heal if you try to do it alone. If you would just do something that makes you happy, then maybe you'd—"
"Oh, like playing in the band again?" Sora spat angrily, hands on his hips as he turned away from her. "I'm not going to go back to that without Roxas. I won't!"
"But, Sora—"
"No buts about it!" He roared, turning to glower at her with more hatred than she had ever seen in him. "I will not play music ever again—not without Roxas. I won't ever stop missing him, and I won't ever forget about him, do you fucking hear me?! Never."
I'll scream
Look away
Close your eyes, Your voice changed reveals what's inside
Cold-Hearted
Tears that lie
Waste away four whole years of my life
Kairi merely gazed at him in terrified awe at his outburst, her jaw agape and her body trembling with fear. He was so livid, so filled with ire . . .
Suddenly, the careful mask of anger seemed to crumble away into nothingness, and his face was a painting of raw emotion. He burst out into violent tears and sank to the floor in a crumpled heap, sobbing into his hands in a way that made Kairi feel as though she would never laugh again.
"Oh, Sora," she whispered, falling before him and touching his arm gingerly. "You're holding onto a lot of pain—pain that I understand. When I lost Hikari, I . . . Well, I thought I'd never be able to function again. I wanted to die. But you know what pulled me out of that?"
She waited a moment, still hearing his cries, and struggled not to cry herself.
And you're gone into the past
I've don't all that I can
I'm gone, you're gone
I won't regret relieving myself of this feeling
Now begins the healing
And it's my time you were killing
I am reason you have changed
A harlot that makes this a broken cliché
I'll fall if I give into you
You'll lie and you'll steal my identity's truth
Kairi went on, "Hope. Drive. My dreams and desires. I wanted to be happy again. I wanted to go on with my life and live because I knew that's what Hikari would have wanted. And you know what? I was right. I was so right.
"When I tried to . . . To k-kill myself, I had a dream. A dream of Hikari. And she helped me to see that life was worth living—that my happiness was worth living for. So I made a vow to her that I would live to the best of my abilities.
"So don't give up on yourself, Sora. You deserve to be happy simply because you exist, and that is where your worth lies. You have so many people who love you, people who want you to be happy. Roxas wouldn't want to see you like this, okay? He wouldn't. And neither would Namine. Everyone wants you to be happy, so just . . . Just try, okay?"
Sora lifted his head, his face soaked in tears and despair and he sobbed, "There's so much guilt on my heart, Kai . . . I don't know if I can handle it anymore. I just . . . I d-don't think I can fucking do it anymore . . ."
Kairi grabbed him and pulled him close, pressing the side of his head against her chest. She combed her fingers through his hair while he cried, her heart ripping into a thousand pieces. She knew exactly how he felt. She knew how it felt to want to cease to exist. It seemed like it would be easier, to just die and never have to feel again.
She just wished he could see how beautiful life was, and how beautiful he was. How much love and happiness he'd shown in her life. How he had saved her.
You'll never let this go
You're still hooked on mistakes I've made
Just give it time
This feeling haunts my mind
Just give it some time
"I love you, Sora," Kairi whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek. "Isn't that enough?"
Sora sat back and looked at her in the dimly lit room with shining eyes. "Of course it's enough. Of course you're enough, it's just . . ."
"Then what's holding you back?" Kairi breathed, cupping his face in her hands. "All you have to do is take the first step towards healing. I can't take that step for you—you have to do it."
"But what if it doesn't work?" Sora whispered sadly. "What if I'm never happy again?"
Kairi shook her head. "I can't promise you happiness, Sora. But what I can promise you is this . . . I can promise you that I'm always going to love you. I'm going to be in your life and love you for as long as you'll have me, and that is what I promise."
Sora studied her face, eyes traveling from her lips, to her eyes, to her nose, and he sighed.
"I . . . I need to be alone right now," he said softly, sending Kairi's hopeful heart plummeting to the Earth.
"But . . . You've been alone all this time. Can't you just . . . Just let me in?" Kairi pleaded.
"I can't . . . I don't want to talk about it anymore," Sora said, turning his face away. "I don't think I'm . . . I'm ready."
Feeling desperately sad and scared of losing him, Kairi surprised him by moving to straddled his hips where he sat. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her body against his, holding his face and gazing down at him with as much love in her eyes as she could muster.
"K-Kairi . . ." Sora breathed, his voice husky.
"Then we won't talk," she whispered, his eyes falling shut as she leaned close. "Not anymore . . ."
You'll never let this go
You're still hooked on mistakes I've made
Just give it time
This feeling haunts my mind
When they kissed this time, it was much different than the times they had kissed before. Kairi had every intention to make him forget—to make him temporarily happy—and he had every intention of taking whatever energy from her he could. He had her on her back on the floor within seconds, his lips seeming to silently beg her to let him have her in whichever way he pleased.
"Sora," she moaned when he reached up the hem of her dress and made her feel as if she'd never been touched before. She clutched at his hair, pulling him into a passionate, deep kiss that made her tingle all the way to her feet.
"Can I . . . ?" Sora groaned against her lips, grinding his hips into hers. "Is this okay . . . ?"
"Please, Sora," she whimpered, her mind going in a thousand different directions. She just wanted to feel him inside of her. "I just want you to be happy."
Without another word, he had her on his lap again, one of his hands undoing the fastenings on his belt and jeans. He pushed the fabric of her panties aside and lowered her onto him as fast as he could, growling almost animalistically as he dug his fingers into her tiny hips. Kairi's head fell back of its own accord and she cried out in ecstasy as Sora had his way with her, his muscular arms forcing her to ride him in a way that made her body go rigid. It had never felt this way before—so raw and wild and passionate. It was as if they were making love in such a way as to pour out all of their hidden feelings toward each other—from the way he had treated her the past year to the way she had hurt him with her sadness . . . All of it was exposed and shattered.
"I love you so much," Sora groaned into her neck, his nails scratching furrows of red down her back. He panted raggedly against her skin, sending chills up her spine. Kairi wrapped her arms around his neck and moved her hips in tandem with his, feeling herself nearing the peak of the mountain she loved to climb with Sora and only Sora.
When she reached the top of that mountain, it was glorious. She felt her body spasming and rocking, and she moaned his name into his ear in a way that was pure and—God forbid—innocently Kairi. She felt Sora emptying himself into her, heard him moaning, too, and it was beautiful. It was just beautiful.
Gasping for breath, Sora wrapped his arms around Kairi with himself softening inside of her, and held her close. No words were spoken, as they had no need to be spoken, and Kairi felt the sadness return. Sora was still unhappy. Making love to him wasn't going to make him better, and she knew that.
A little while later, Sora lifted her off of him and hung his head in something akin to shame. Was he ashamed of himself for having sex with her on Roxas's bedroom floor? Or was he ashamed of himself for taking a moment of happiness in the center of his grief? Did he think Roxas would be mad at him? She had no idea.
"Go," was all Sora had to say. Wordlessly, she did as she was told.
The second she shut the door to Roxas's bedroom, she sank to the floor and wept silently against the wooden frame.
The sooner you're off my mind the better
The sooner you're off my mind
The sooner you're off my mind . . .
~x~
A/N: Well, I guess I'll see you in the next chapter!