XXXV.

"Have a seat, Lieutenant."

She had tried to stay awake as long as possible, but it had simply become too much. She had been awake for nearly forty hours, and the grubby warm feeling of over exhaustion was taking her. She had actually nodded off once, or twice, in the observation gallery, only to wake immediately when her head slumped and startled her. The last thing she needed was to fall asleep in public, in uniform, where she could gain even more disapproval from the brass around her. Oh! Why had she laughed? It was such a stupid thing to do, but it had happened before she could control herself, a momentary lapse of professionalism. Could she be blamed? Who would have ever imagined the day when she would see someone tell an Admiral to shut the fuck up?

After sitting in near total silence for almost three hours, she had finally risen from her chair and walked the few short steps to the door leading from the observation gallery. She had been too exhausted to acknowledge the disapproving stares and mutterings of those around her, which was lucky. They had hardly been kind.

She had managed to get a good nine hours of sleep, which was strange considering how much trouble she had been having lately with sleep. Her dreams were vibrant and strange, but of the kind that are difficult to describe. Disjointed scenes with no discernible plot or objective, featuring people she knew and people her mind simply conjured up. Lore was there, fixing something in engineering while Kendrick—long dead Kendrick—tried to use the dilithium crystal chamber as a bread oven. Then, with no apparent segue or explanation, she was back home in the mountains of Idaho, trying to convince her little sister that living in a tree house full time was not a good idea.

She was awoken by the gentle shaking and soft exultations of her roommate, Jasmine.

"Hey, Anna." Jasmine whispered, "Your alarm's been going off for like five minutes. Are you supposed to be somewhere, hon?"

She grumbled a yes and sat up. She was stiff, but that was all from the exhaustion of the previous two days. She felt wonderful. More rested than she had been in a while and, now with the cloudy weariness behind her, her mind immediately began telling her why. She closed her eyes and smiled just a little. Lore had come back. He had decided to help Seven and deep down Anna thought she had always suspected he would. But, did she? She felt bad about it suddenly, as if she had misjudged him. When he walked out of engineering without so much as a word, she had harbored no hopes that he would help. How wrong she had been.

Have I been wrong about everything?

Part of her insisted that she had not, that this changed nothing. Nothing. He had still lied. People still stared at her and whispered nasty comments about her mental state, though she refused to admit to herself that those things had any real bearing on her reluctance. No. It was about his lie. She wasn't so shallow as to be worrying about her reputation or anything like that. Really. It wasn't that.

She quickly got dressed and grumbled to herself about this interview she had to go through, an interview that did not even interest her. It reminded her of all those university interviews she had gone through as a kid, mere formalities to please her parents since she had already decided to join Starfleet. She always felt sorry for the administrator, wasting his time and energy on a kid who had no interest in his school. Although…why was she so uninterested? That contrarian part of her, the part she had spent the last two years growing and polishing, came to the surface once more. A new assignment could fix things. It would remove her from the Enterprise, from people who knew the story of her personal life in too much detail, and it would remove her…from Lore. That was a near certainly. He would not be able to follow her. The officials on Utopia Planetia would not tolerate his presence, not like Captain Picard did.

Anna dropped her hairbrush and felt her stomach tighten again. Why was she thinking like this? Why would she want to be away from the only man who could make her laugh in a room full of Admirals?

"Aren't you off duty today?" Jasmine asked, "Don't tell me you're taking another shift, honey."

"I'm not." Anna said, smiling at Jasmine's little endearment. Apparently she had attended a university in New Orleans prior to joining Starfleet, and had picked up the genteel habit. "I have a transfer interview on Mars this afternoon."

"Oh?" Jasmine lowered the black pencil she had been using to outline her eyes. "You're…transferring?"

"No, I…." Anna sighed heavily, "I don't know. Owen set it up, as a favor to me, even though I didn't ask. He meant well. I just wish I'd had more time to think about it."

"Oh." Jasmine said. Her dark brown eyes were searching, almost as if she expected to hear something more. "You came in really late last night. More like this morning, actually. What time did you get off?"

"Around one. I was in the sickbay."

"Oh? Are you sick again?" Jasmine asked, genuine concern on her goddess-like face.

"No, no, not me. I was watching surgery."

Jasmine's nose wrinkled up. For a scientist, she was such a hopeless girly-girl, and Anna doubted that watching surgery was something Jasmine would ever consider doing. Anna gave her a quick explanation of Seven's illness and Lore's decision to help her, all the while Jasmine's face registering every shift of emotion in the space of a few minutes.

"Wow." She muttered, "So…Seven of Nine will be okay?"

"I don't know." Anna replied. She looked at the clock, "They're still in there, but Lore will do his best."

At this Jasmine smiled, and it actually surprised Anna. "What are you smiling at?"

"Nothing." Jasmine said with a wave of her powder brush. Anna finished the short operation she had decided to conduct with her hair, then grabbed a cup of coffee before heading for the door.

"Real quick," Jasmine said, "What time will you be back? I'm having dinner with that gorgeous Varek tonight and I thought we might make it a double date."

Anna's eyes widened in surprise, "Varek? Varek agreed to go on a date with you?"

"Uh-huh." Jasmine said with a smile, quite pleased with herself.

Anna shook her head in wonder, "What is it with you and Vulcans?"

"Oh, I don't know, honey. I just don't know." Jasmine said, closing her eyes dreamily, "But anyone who tells you that Vulcans are just frigid statues has no idea what they're talking about. No. I. Dea." She punctuated her last words with stern little pokes of her powder brush, and laughed.

"Whatever." Anna said with a little nervous laugh. A double date did not sound like something she was interested in right now. Still, she could not be rude. "Um…I'm not sure what Owen's schedule is, so I would have to get back to you."

Jasmine smiled and swiped her nose with the brush, "I wasn't talking about Owen, honey."

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Three hours later, Anna sat on a firm blue sofa facing a vast panorama of the Martian landscape. The fields of Utopia Planetia were a wonder to behold. Off in the distance towering spider-like frameworks held Starships in various stages of completion. They rose like skyscrapers, blocking out the sun and casting massive shadows across the sprawling support buildings. The place was daunting and deceptively chaotic. In fact, there were few places more regimented and controlled.

Anna glanced at the closed door on the other side of the room. She had been waiting for almost twenty minutes, despite arriving precisely on time. As far as she could tell, the XO was not with anyone else at the moment, and so she continued to wait. It did not work this way on Starships and it certainly didn't work this way on the Enterprise. When Commander Riker had wanted to see someone, he called them and saw them the moment they arrived. There were never any appointments and certainly never any waiting.

She looked down and rubbed her hands in her lap. Her stomach was still in knots, but it had nothing to do with the silly interview. Her confliction had only grown in the last few hours, and had not been helped by Jasmine's amused little prod. The image of Lore smiling up at her from the floor of the surgical bay entered her thoughts again. She tried to ignore the quick flush of warmth that entered her cheeks each time she thought about it…and when she thought about what he had whispered to her in engineering, and when she thought his hand on hers, and—.

"Lt. Hall?" Came a stern, quick voice.

Anna looked up. A tall, broad shouldered man was standing in the just opened doorway. He sported dark, lightly graying hair and a solid square jaw. Her first impression was a kind of more intimidating version of Captain Riker. She stood smartly.

"Yes, Sir."

He bid her to follow him with a curt wave of his hand as he turned and reentered the office. Anna followed with a light frown on her face, but she quickly shrugged it off. Some people were just brusk by nature. She should know that better than most.

"Have a seat, Lieutenant." Commander Swenson instructed, indicating a narrow chair before his desk. This room also had broad windows showcasing the technological wonders outside. Anna regarded them as she took a seat and began to formulate how she would answer the usual interview questions in an honest, professional, but not too exemplary way.

"I've been familiarizing myself with your personnel file here." Swenson said, raising a data pad off the surface of the desk.

"Of course, Sir." Anna said. She kept her expression neutrally pleasant, not smiling too much. She wasn't sure what else to do since he was not smiling at all.

"Quite frankly, I'm surprised you would want to transfer from the Enterprise. Slots there are few and far between and have a lot of competition. Dozens of officers have spent their entire careers under Captain Picard."

"Yes, Sir." Anna said, nodding. She had prepared a little for this. She had to give every impression that she wanted this billet. It would be rude to do anything else. "I was just hoping to broaden my career specialty. General engineering is interesting, but I think holo-engineering might be a more interesting field."

Swenson nodded a few times and worked his jaw in a strange, tense manner. It set Anna on the edge of her seat. Perhaps this man had had a bad morning or was dealing with some other kind of problem that was occupying his thoughts. In either case, she got the sincere impression that he could not care less about anything she was saying.

"That's strange." Swenson said suddenly, after a long pause, "Because I see here that you also applied for a transfer to the Zodiac several months ago on a transporter engineer billet. And before that, only a few weeks, you applied to transfer to the…" He consulted the pad, "the Westward, which only does data gathering research on pulsars." He dropped the pad in a harsh kind of way, "Transporter engineering, stellar sciences, now holo-engineering? Your interests certainly do change quickly, Lieutenant."

Anna's pulse quickened. It wasn't so much that she had been caught in a lie—being interested in holo-engineering—but it was the way he drilled his eyes into her, like a detective conducting an interrogation. She wiggled in her uncomfortable chair.

"Sir, I…I did request several transfers in the last few years, but they were—."

"All rejected." He finished, "That's very interesting, isn't it? Why would a qualified, competent engineer—which you clearly are—be rejected for six transfer request?" He tilted his head and shook it slightly, once again not shifting his eyes from her for a moment. He waited.

"I, um…." She could feel her head beginning to grow light. This was all wrong, all wrong. This was supposed to be just some perfunctory interview, ten minutes at most and filled with banal pleasantries. Instead, it was…she didn't know what this was.

Swenson leaned forward now, tenting his fingers before him, "All of these transfer rejections contain no explanation, Lieutenant, which I find to be quite generous, actually. My denial of this request, that we are discussing right now, will have an explanation."

The room was suddenly a furnace. Anna could feel sweat beading on the back of her neck, soaking her collar. Her stomach swirled and jumped, as if the acid would eat a hole through her. It had always been this way, her whole damn life. She couldn't take confrontation, she was always crippled by the harsh disapproval of others. It had taught her to be pleasant, friendly, someone that people would always approve of, but none of that mattered now.

"Lieutenant," Swenson began, his deep voice like a rumble, "I do not believe you possess the kind of sound judgment and moral direction that is required of a Starfleet officer. I'm not talking about an officer under my command. I'm talking about a Starfleet officer, period. Your decisions in your…personal life are extremely troubling."

A tiny hole opened up in Anna's horror, just enough for a little anger to peak through. She said, eyes still on the surface of his desk, "I don't think my personal life has anything to do with how I do my job."

"You don't?" He spat, his jaw clenching, "Being a Starfleet officer is not a job, it is not something you do a few hours a day, Lieutenant. This is who we are, all day every day, and you're willingness to…what?...cavort with that android makes me have serious questions about you. Are you aware of his past? Do you have any idea how many deaths he is responsible for? If you aren't, that means you're careless and incompetent. If you do, it can only mean that you don't care, which tells me everything I need to know about you."

With this, Swenson stood up, scraping his chair across the floor harshly. For a flickering moment, Anna actually felt a pang of fear. This man didn't just disapprove of her. No. The way he looked down at her now, his nose slightly wrinkled and his brow pressed together, spoke of nothing less than disgust. Her hands and feet felt numb. The only sensation she was sure of was the pressure building behind her eyes and the slow constriction of her throat.

Oh, God. No! She stood quickly, sucking a breath while she still could. She refused to cry. She refused to look so pathetic! She waited.

"You're dismissed." He said.

She turned swiftly, heading for the door.

"And by the way," He said, stopping her, "I find it to be in incredibly poor taste that you used personal connections to gain this interview. That tells me another thing about you."

There was no need for another dismissal, for it colored every word he said. Anna retreated through the door at a smooth pace, unwilling to run as her legs demanded. Once in the outer room, she maintained that pace into the corridor and down several yards until she could not hold it any longer. The gasped, making a gulping kind of sound before the tears came. The action sent a wave of pain through her left side, the lung being too quickly stretched. She kept walking, forcing herself ever closer to the main dock and the privacy of her shuttle pod. Virtually no thoughts ran through her mind, no coherent ones anyway. She was too overwhelmed with rage, humiliation, and a dozen other feelings to think of anything constructive. She only knew she wanted to get away, far away, from it all.

She rushed around a corner and nearly collided with a slight, older man, his hair long ago having turned completely grey. She only just noticed the insignia on his neck. Captain. The CO of Utopia Planetia.

"Whoa, there, Lieutenant!" The man laughed a little, putting a hand on her shoulder, "We're all busy, but it's not a race."

"I'm sorry, Captain. Excuse me." She muttered quickly as she stepped to go around him.

He frowned suddenly, for Anna had not been fast enough in hiding her face and her tears. "Are…are you all right, there?"

"Yes, of course. I just need to get back to my ship. Post-op lung surgery." She rattled all of this off in a flash, hardly looking at him. She just needed to get away.

"Lung surgery? Do you need me to escort you to sickbay?" The Captain appeared genuinely concerned, and gave no indication that he recognized her at all.

He wouldn't be offering to help me if he knew who I was! The thought entered her head so quickly and with such certainly that she almost scowled at him. Luckily, she did not, and instead forced her posture straight and drew back a little.

"No, really. It's my fault. I was…horsing around and smacked my side. It's just some pain. It'll go away on its own. Thank you for the offer, though, Captain."

"Well, if you're sure." The Captain said, stepping back with a laugh, "Be careful, then, huh? Doctor Warrick doesn't respond kindly to people who get themselves hurt."

"Right." She said, forcing a smile. She did not even react to the mention of Owen's uncle's name. Her mind was still too swirling. "Good day, Captain."

"You as well. Carry on." With that, the man turned and continued his progress through the corridors.

Anna walked until she reached the dock and then practically jogged to her shuttle pod. Once inside, she collapsed into the operators' chair and let the tears flow. Finally, coherent thoughts began to enter her head. He was going to write it in her file. That was what Swenson had said; he was going to explain his rejection in her file, and that would it. Forever, there would be a note in her file stating that she had been rejected for a position due to questionable judgment, or perhaps he would term it 'questionable character'. It was a death knell. It would be the end of her career, or any kind of successful career.

She cried for ten minutes before she managed to pull it together and fire up the engines.