We have finally reached the end. My thanks to every one of my readers, past an present for your wonderful comments, as well as outpour of support. There were times when I thought I would never see the end of this story, but thanks to your encouragement, it finally has come about. I will forgo individual comments as all the questions revolved around two themes: Is Anakin dead? And is there another story? Since I enjoy keeping you all in suspense, the only thing I will say is that there is another story in the works. After I post the epilogue next week, I will give you more details. I hope you all enjoy this next installment!
From the Journal of Anakin Skywalker…
30th Entry 5th month 16th day Standard year 30,522
My dearest Anera,
This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to write. I hope when you read this that I was merely overreacting and that we will have a hearty laugh about it. However, if we don't, I think I better use this time to write some things that I might never have a chance to say to you.
If I don't return, I want you to know what you've meant to me. Ever since that fateful day when you walked into my life, I have loved you unquestionably. Over time our love grew from a wonderful friendship into what it is today. I have considered every day with you a blessing, one that I hope to carry into eternity. I'm sorry that I will not be able to follow through with all our hopes and dreams for the future, but know that I will always be with you, and will anxiously await your arrival to wherever it is I will be.
Never forget our love, no matter how much it may hurt sometimes. Let it guide you and help you throughout your life. I pray that you will find someone who loves you as you deserve, and will give you a family with lots of beautiful children that look like you. Wherever I will be, I promise to watch over you all, and will try to say hello from time to time. Whenever you are lonely, call to me and I will always bring your heart warmth.
As you were my angel in life, so I will be your guardian angel in the afterlife. Remember, I have always and will always love you from the depths of my spirit. Good-bye, Anera, and thank you for making a slave boy's life beautiful.
Until we meet again…
Tears dripped onto the page as Padmé finished reading Anakin's last written words. Instead of emboldening her, as his words were meant to do, she felt empty. It was as if the spirits in the heavens had come down and ripped her soul into a million jagged pieces. Padmé's eyes drifted longingly out the window. Even the sun shinning and the birds singing did not bring her wounded heart peace.
How can I go on by myself?
This wasn't how it was supposed to happen…
A soft knock on Anakin's bedroom door roused her from her misery.
"Yes?"
"It's Sabé with Obi-Wan…may we come in?" her oldest friend asked.
"Please do."
The couple entered holding hands, but both looked utterly miserable. Obi-Wan appeared much as he had after his Master was lost. And Sabé seemed as she did years ago when her youngest sister had tragically died. "We came to check on you," Sabé announced softly.
Padmé wiped away her tears and bobbed her head. "I was just going through Anakin's things…I…I had just gotten off the com with his mother when I remembered the journal. Thank you."
Sabé offered her a comforting smile. "When will the Lars' arrive?"
"Anakin's friend Miles offered to pick them up in the Defiance. They should be here in a couple of hours," she answered, her voice trembling.
"Is there anything we can do for you?" Obi-Wan asked in his normally genteel manner.
"I'm fine, thank you." She answered abruptly. "I really should be getting back up to my office…."
Sabé sat down next to her, placing her hand on Padmé's. "Panaka and Olié have things under control on the military end. Princess Jamillia and Governor Bibble will see to your duties until you are ready to return."
Sniffling, Padmé retorted, "Even though our casualties were light, there are still numerous political matters that must be dealt with."
Sabé sadly shook her head. "They can wait, Padmé. Anakin was your intended and the whole planet mourns with you. They expect you to do the muerterias for him."
"There's no time for grief." Padmé insisted while trying to hold back the flood of tears.
"Padmé," Sabé said unconvinced. "It's alright to be yourself for awhile. Queen Amidala can wait."
As if on cue, Padmé wailed with a steady stream of tears flowing down her cheeks. "Oh Sabé, why? I want to know why did this have to happen?"
Holding her tightly, Sabé softly answered with tears in her eyes. "Some things are beyond our understanding."
Padmé lifted her head, turning towards Obi-Wan. "But he was the Chosen One..."
The Jedi Knight, who was noticeably fighting back tears, sadly shrugged and looked down. "I wish…I wish I had an answer. The will of the Force…"
"I don't want to hear about your Force!" Padmé screamed. "Where was the mystical energy when Anakin needed it most?" She huffed loudly. "All these crazed notions of destiny and duty were what led Anakin to this." Storming to her feet, Padmé took several steps back. "We could have been happy! We had our whole lives ahead of us!"
Obi-Wan looked away; meanwhile, Sabé stood up and pulled her towards her. "Shaking your fists at the heavens will not bring him back."
"I don't care," she sobbed. "I want him back, Sabé!" Padmé mourned. "I can't do this alone." She fell back into Sabé's arms and wept.
The Captain of Palace security looked sadly over at her husband, who stood up and joined them. He gently patted Padmé's back as he whispered. "I would have gladly given up my life for his…."
Lifting her head up, she muttered through her tears. "As would have I." Falling against Sabé's chest, Padmé shook her head. There was nothing in the universe that was going to take away her pain.
The events of the past few days were a whirlwind.
Jaden Fai stood silently waiting for the arrival of the Council's shuttle. Since Obi-Wan had declared himself indisposed, it fell upon him to greet the Jedi who were coming for Skywalker's funeral. Jaden found this strange, given that the Council had rejected him. He wasn't sure how he exactly felt about Skywalker himself. By his loss it was quite clear that he hadn't been the Chosen One. And yet, there was something about him that was bigger than life.
Jaden was sorry that he hadn't gotten the chance to know him.
They might have been friends.
"Masters," he greeted Yoda and Mace Windu who disembarked first from the shuttle.
"Greetings, Padawan." Windu acknowledged. "It is good to see you in one piece."
Jaden chuckled briefly. "It wasn't easy, Master. But we managed."
"Where is your teacher?" Ki-Adi Mundi questioned.
"He's coordinating the Naboo's efforts to find the Mandalorian troop ships," Jaden lied. "He sent me in his stead."
"Much, you have been through," Master Yoda observed. "Of your actions, we are proud."
"Thank you, Master." Jaden gleefully responded, motioning for the Council members to follow him. At the rear of the group, he noticed his friend Ferus Olin on a repulsor chair. "Please make your way to the Palace, my Masters. Queen Amidala's attendants are awaiting your arrival."
They bowed as the other Council members moved passed him; meanwhile, Jaden nodded at them in acknowledgement before reaching his friend. Getting closer, he noticed Ferus did not look well. "Good to see you."
Ferus smirked. "Good to be seen."
"I'm surprised you're here," Jaden stated, unable how to rouse the question of Ferus' injuries.
"I'm paying my respects…Skywalker did save my life, as you recall."
Jaden weakly smiled as they followed the other Jedi. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed several deep bruises on Ferus' neck and face. It looked as if he had gone several rounds with a nest and gundarks and lost. "I'm sorry to be so blunt, but…what happened to you?" Jaden cocked his head to one side, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
"Can't say specifically, but seems I was right about Dahlia."
Jaden looked at him in stunned disbelief. "You mean…she attacked you?"
"More or less," he said, his voice drifting off. Ferus blinked his eyes rapidly. "Enough of such unpleasantries. How's it feel to be the big hero? The whole Temple is buzzing with what you and Master Kenobi did."
"I don't feel like much of one," Jaden lamented. "This entire thing has been…. overwhelming."
Ferus shifted anxiously in his chair. "I admit, I am a bit…overwhelmed myself. Been wondering about my place in the Order, in fact."
Jaden stopped in his tracks. "What do you mean?"
"Haven't you ever noticed that the masters preach nothing but the code?" His features darkened. "But when push comes to shove, they break it worse than a youngling could ever dare."
It was as if Ferus had read his mind. He, too, was disconcerted about his Master's double life. "I have to admit," he began. "I have had similar thoughts myself." Jaden then looked down at his feet. "There's nobody that I can talk to either."
"I have found…someone," Ferus boasted. "And he makes me consider things I've never before contemplated."
"Oh?" Jaden looked at him curiously. "There's actually an open minded Master?"
Ferus cackled in delight. "Hardly, my friend. No, I am speaking about Chancellor Palpatine."
"The Chancellor?" Jaden replied dumbfounded. "You've spoken with him privately?"
"On several occasions," Ferus proudly answered. "He is most insightful…you should come with me some time."
"Perhaps I will…someday," Jaden's voice drifted off as the continued towards the Palace. Was it possible that Palpatine could help him find a way to deal with his Master's sins while remaining in the order?
He would have to meditate upon this.
Dooku stared silently at the bacta tank that held the dormant Dahlia. He couldn't help the sinful pleasure that filled his veins upon seeing the extent of her injuries he had inflicted. Dooku had returned to Coruscant upon hearing the news of the destruction of Ord's gunship. He had been halfway to Wild Space when he intercepted com traffic that told him about Ebaq 9, as well as the subsequent attack on the Naboo. When Dooku reached into the Force, he realized that his old friend and protégé had merged with it. He also became aware that his Master had departed for Naboo to be in the middle of the festivities.
The Chosen One and the Exile were no more.
It seemed that the Force was with the Sith. Now, with little to stand in their way, no doubt Sidious would want to accelerate their plans. Yet, Dooku took no pleasure from this. First, he had been robbed of killing of the Exile himself. Now, his contemptible student had, by accident, prematurely ended the destiny of the Chosen One.
What did this mean?
In time, he knew, the Dark Lord would find another suitable replacement and would then have him destroyed.
It was inevitable.
There was still time to run.
Dooku laughed at the notion of cowardice. No matter what, he would face the end in his usual intrepid style. Death was not the fearsome entity most made it out to be. Heading back to his ship, Dooku realized that for the first time in years, he wasn't under any orders. He could return home and meditate. Much had happened, and he needed to gain perspective before he would eventually have to deal with Sidious.
Sitting onboard his ship, Dooku entered in the coordinates to return to Serenno. He was about to activate the thrusters when a soft chime rang out from the com. Concerned that it was Sidious, he warily opened the channel to see the tall, slender figure appear before him.
It was a Kaminoan.
"Master Sifo-Dyas," the greeting came.
"Prime Minister," Dooku answered. "How may I be of service?"
"I am happy to tell you that three hundred thousand units are ready with another million, nine months from completing their final training battery. An additional two million units are coming up shortly behind them," Lama Su proclaimed proudly. "They will be ready for the Republic as scheduled."
"I appreciate the update, Prime Minster." Dooku answered with a wide smirk. "I will relay your information to my Masters."
"We are grateful to have the chance to help out on such a noble venture, Master Jedi. Will you require any more?"
Dooku paused for a moment. His intimate knowledge of the forces he would eventually command made him realize that more clones will be needed. "I believe the Council would want to commission more of your units if they could be produced more quickly."
The alien appeared to almost gleam with delight. "We have recently improved our growth accelerators and training regimen. What once took us ten years, we can now produce in two. For a price, of course."
"See to it at once, Prime Minister." Dooku eagerly instructed. "I promise you, they will be needed."
"Very good, sir."
The alien's image disappeared from sight, again leaving Dooku alone. It seems events were moving even faster than he had just considered. Dooku again reached across his control panel to open the com. Entering in the private code, he released a deep breath and waited for confirmation of its acceptance.
"Master Sidious…I bring good news."
The morning of Anakin's funeral, Padmé had the handmaidens pick out a black silk gown with a purple headdress. She had tried to stall, but the time for the ceremony had quickly arrived. Her family, as well as the Lars' had reached Theed the day before and spent the evening together, privately celebrating Anakin's life. Today was the people's turn. Their hero who had saved them on several occasions had been lost.
Unable to delay further, Padmé and her entourage made their way fo the antechamber leading to the throne room. There, a wooden casket filled with their remembrances of Anakin lay in state, draped with a flag embroidered with Amidala's royal emblem. Several members of Naboo's highest officers acted as pallbearers, as they would be marching from the palace to the center square of town. From there, the procession would head towards the funeral pyre.
Upon seeing Shmi, both women fell into a tight embrace as they softly grieved together.
"I'm so sorry," Padmé cried.
"He loved you dearly, you know."
She looked up and saw the sad, but resolute expression on Shmi's face. "And I will be thankful of that for the rest of my life."
Shmi nodded as they released one another and got into the processional line. At the tenth morning bell, the pallbearers lifted the casket above their heads. Padmé extended her arm out to Shmi who tightly clung on to her. When the handmaidens proceeded out, Padmé and Shmi followed closely behind. They moved through the crowds to the slow beating of a drum. Padmé looked up and saw thousands upon thousands of people lining the path, hoping to pay their last respects.
Upon reaching the center square, the procession stopped. Moving to the front of the casket, Padmé raised her arms. "People of Naboo, behold the High Protector and savior of our world. Honor his memory. Never forget his sacrifice."
Padmé returned to Shim and held onto her arm lovingly as they continued down the path. The people in attendance threw black and white roses at their feet. Padmé heard weeping from throughout the crowd and whispers about how this could have happened. She shook her head sadly, wondering the same thing. At that moment, Padmé imagined how Anakin would have felt about seeing this outpour of support. He was not much for public displays, and she could almost see him rolling his eyes in disgust.
Padmé's moment of levity ended when she noticed that they had reached the funeral pyre. In unison, the pallbearers placed the casket on top of the wood. The officers folded up the royal banner and then handed it Shmi as per tradition when one was lost while fighting in the defense of Naboo. Padmé offered Shmi a sad smile before moving before pyre to address the crowd.
"Friends, family and people of Naboo. We are gathered here today to say farewell to our dear friend and hero, Anakin Skywalker. He was many things: friend; leader; hero; son and beloved. Everyone who knew him, I firmly believe, was touched by his kindness, as well as his profound sense of selflessness. He served the crown and his people far beyond the call of duty, and will be forever remembered as a legend amongst legends. Anakin will be truly missed." Padmé took out her datapad from underneath her cloak. "From here on, I will not speak as your monarch, but as a woman who has lost her intended. I wrote this for Anakin, so if you bear with me, I wanted to read it to him now."
To my Sarrente, my rock,
Words can never truly express the sorrow that has filled my heart. More often than not, fate has torn us apart. Now it has the final say. Perhaps we were star-crossed lovers? I am thankfully though for the time that we did have together. Although I would have preferred to grow old with you, surrounded by our children and grandchildren, I am comforted to know that you are now somewhere above watching over me. I love you more than life itself and I, too, wait for the day when we will be reunited. Until then, I offer you this simple little poem that expresses my true feelings.
You were my best friend, my confidant and my lover,
You've saved me in every way possible,
My knight in shining armor,
You were always ready to protect me
Whether from real harm,
Or from the dark shadows of the night.
I loved it so when you would hold me,
And then whisper that everything would be alright.
I loved it when you would smile with your funny grin,
The sight of which always warmed my heart.
I loved it when you would make me laugh,
Because I felt like there was only us in the whole galaxy.
I will always long for your loving arms to make me safe,
And will call out to you even though I know you are gone..
I will miss you terribly,
For the remainder of my mortal life.
So for now I say farewell my love,
Until we meet again beyond the other side
I will not be complete without you
And I am again in your loving arms forever.
Padmé began to cry inconsolably. Sabé and the other handmaidens helped her as the audience stood back in preparation of the lighting of the pyre. Padmé's cries of pain were amplified when Shmi sobs echoed her own. Everyone in attendance watched in silence as the flames swept over the casket and stayed until it was reduced to dust.
Padmé thoughts were a scatter.
She contemplated how she and Anakin had faced numerous threats against their people together. As always, they were brave and they did their duty. Duty. What did that mean to her now? Eventually, she would have to become Queen Amidala again and be forced to look upon the empty chair by her right side. She would have to fight battles of tomorrow without his steadying presence.
She was tired.
Oh, so tired.
This is one struggle too many.
Once she was gone from this office, who would defend the people? Would there be somebody willing to carry the yoke? Padmé then realized that the challenges would never end.
She did notice how well Jamillia had acted in her absence and had made some very tough decisions despite her inexperience. Perhaps she could allow for the possibility that Naboo would be fine without her?
She could walk away and nobody would blame her. For once in her life, the voices reminding her of her duty were silent.
At what a price.
It had taken a broken heart to finally silence them. She had truly given this world everything.
Padmé knew what had to be done.
Not everybody in the audience was in mourning.
In fact, there was one who was so completely enraged, it took every shred of his self-control not to lay waste to the planet. Chancellor Palpatine watched the ceremony with outward dispassion. Never had he considered that the Force would be willing to sacrifice its beloved Chosen One to spite him. Strangely Palpatine had a profound new respect for the entity. But his realization would not make him acquiesce to its will.
All was not lost, though.
The galaxy was rife with unrest. The clones were nearly ready, and he had ordered his apprentice to make contact with the remaining holdout factions that would make the Separatists an imminent threat. True, Skywalker was gone, but there were others that would fill in nicely, for a time.
Time was on his side.
First things first though.
Giving a subtle nod at his guards, Palpatine broke their ranks and made his way towards the surprisingly sober Senator Joaquin Mar who stood alone. He gestured respectfully towards him.
"Chancellor," Mar greeted in a low voice.
"Senator," Palpatine said, turning toward the pyre. "This was a such a senseless tragedy."
"Indeed," the Senator responded in a hushed voice. "First Tro, and now Skywalker. I must admit that I am concerned with the loss of our best military minds."
Palpatine folded his arms snugly against his chest. "Hugh Panaka is a capable commander and a loyal servant. He will do well in their stead."
Mar snorted loudly drawing several angered stares. "I'm not so sure about that, Chancellor."
"Oh?"
"If I may speak candidly?" Joaquin looked at Palpatine who wordlessly motioned for him to continue. "I agree that Panaka is a good soldier, but a true leader, as you are well aware, inspires those under his charge. I sincerely doubt the General is capable of stirring such passion."
"Hmmm…" Palpatine considered. "It is quite a shame that the Republic has no resources to provide support." Looking at Mar out of the corner of his eye, he added, "Especially since we are seeing insurgencies arising from seemingly everywhere."
"The Mandalorians are scattered, and once we captured their best troops, they will no longer pose a problem."
Palpatine slightly shook his head. "While they are an issue to be dealt with, there are others that concern me considerably more."
Mar's eyebrows rose. "The Separatists?"
Palpatine leaned closer so only Mar could hear him. "I have heard rumors that Count Dooku has recruited several more worlds to his cause. It is unimaginable to think what he would do if he gets the financial backing to build an army."
"The Senate…" Joaquin begin.
"The Senate is too mired in its own selfish desires to do anything before it is too late," Palpatine interrupted.
"Perhaps the Republic would benefit from a militarization program similar to the one we have implemented on Naboo?" Mar offered.
"Are you suggesting the Republic create a Grand Army?" Palpatine looked at him with feigned surprise.
"The Republic certainly has the resources. And, I know that many systems would benefit from the availability of tried and able commanders."
"While I agree that would be prudent," Palpatine started, but his features immediately fell grim. "There are too many leading worlds that would oppose such a radical proposition."
"Surely, sir, there must be a way?"
Reaching up to rub his chin, Palpatine dipped his head in response. "It would take considerable political clout but…. anything's possible."
"I, of course, would like to offer my services, Your Excellency."
Palpatine raised his eyebrows once again. "Are you quite certain, Senator? After all, the Republic hasn't had a standing army in over a thousand years and to make such a proposal would be politically… rocky."
"If it wasn't for an act of heroism, I would have been blown to bits by Ord's contraption," Mar steamed. "I do not want to go through something even remotely similar again."
Patting his shoulder, Palpatine wryly smiled. "Do what you can, Senator. I will be in contact with you soon to discuss this further."
Perhaps Skywalker's loss did have its benefits.
Sio Bibble hadn't been so inundated in years.
For the past several days, while Queen Amidala remained in mourning, he and Princess Jamillia oversaw the day-to-day governance of the planet. Fortunately, the crisis had not induced widespread panic and the few ships that had been lost were being quickly replaced. In the meantime, they were busy with new requests from Parliament. Bibble turned to grab another datapad when he noticed Amidala, standing at the doorway. Both Sio and Jamillia turned to her and bowed respectfully, but he eyes shifted to her crown, which she held loosely in her hand.
She smiled warmly at Jamillia. "Milady, could you please excuse us for a moment?"
Jamillia bowed humbly and left the room. Sio looked at Amidala quizzically. She was wearing a pretty, but simple purple dress without any royal adornments. "To what do I owe the honor, Your Majesty."
"Governor Bibble," she began softly. "You have been a good friend and a wonderful mentor throughout my career. As overseer of the rights of succession, I am officially declaring my abdication from the throne, effective immediately."
Bibble sank down into his chair in complete shock. Although in the back of his mind he had fully expected this, Queen Amidala had always been strong. She had endured the occupation, as well as numerous political and personal storms.
This was one storm too many.
Amidala tossed the crown onto his desk "I have come to realize that too much of my life has been lost by either seeking or wearing that crown. I have been through, and experienced more than any one ruler should." She held out her hands in frustration. "What more do the people want from me? Haven't I given them enough?"
Folding his hands in the shape of a steeple, Bibble leaned forward. "Are you sure about this?"
"My heart is no longer in it." She began to pace anxiously about. "I cannot be the leader that the people deserve and need." Amidala abruptly stood in place. "I can no longer be Amidala, Queen of the Naboo. For now, being simply Padmé Naberrie will be difficult enough."
"Of course," Bibble agreed. "Your abdication will not be official until you declare it in front of the Royal Court. I can call it into session before the end of the week."
"The sooner, the better. It is time for me to move on."
Sio stood up and reached for her hand and held it gently. He had always looked upon her as a daughter and had been proud of her wisdom and maturity in the face of what had appeared to be insurmountable obstacles. He had thought it unfair for the Royal Court to extend her terms beyond the traditional four years, which she would have already completed before this incident. His heart went out to her as he looked upon her with tears in his eyes. "It has been an honor to serve you, Your Majesty." He bowed and kissed her hand politely. "What will you do now?"
"For now, I'm going home." She sniffled momentarily, wiping away a few stray tears. "I need my family." Padmé paused and glanced at him thoughtfully. "I know that I won't sit idle for long. Even before…everything…I had been considering returning to the University to finish my credentials. I've always wanted to teach law."
"That would be most wonderful," Sio said, offering her a smile of encouragement. "I can honestly say that you'll be missed…and that I am very proud of you, my finest student."
"Thank you, Sio." She said wrapping him in a friendly embrace. "I'm glad to know that I didn't disappoint you."
"Never, Padmé…You have always exceeded my expectations." He offered proudly. "You've done your duty well. Be at peace."
She nodded tiredly before turning about a leaving him. Sio returned to his desk and released a deep breath as he saw the piles of datapads and petitions that needed to be reviewed.
Amidala would indeed be missed.
For the first time in days, Padmé was smiling. She was relieved and happy to be returning home. Out from the eyes of the public, she could properly mourn her loss. Then, out of those ashes and in honor to her love's wishes, she would begin her life anew. Padmé would live the life that he had saved to the fullest and cherish each day as a gift.
Where this new destiny would lead, she did not know. She was comforted by the knowledge that with her guardian angel above, anything was possible. Padmé hoped that for the rest of her life she would continue to make Anakin proud and hoped that he would make well on his promise to drop by one day.
Lost in thought, she made her way back to her quarters and locked herself inside. Padmé didn't need to hear any more sympathies from well-wishers.
She needed to sleep so she could dream about her beloved.
Padmé wanted to go to a world where he still lived and they could be together without duty or the weight of a destiny crushing down on their shoulders. If only she could pretend for a few hours that Anakin was still by her side, it would be enough to get through this day. Tomorrow would take care of itself.
After changing into her nightgown, Padmé climbed into her bed alone. Sleep surprisingly came easily, and her dreams unraveled before her.
She was standing in a beautiful meadow. Padmé felt the warmth of the sun across her face as she was waiting in grand anticipation for something, or rather someone, to arrive. A certain calm filled her senses. Suddenly, she was aware that Anakin was missing. Padmé started to run aimlessly, desperate to find her lost love. Rounding a rolling hill, a tall figure dressed in black, whose features were obscured by a dark mask, hurriedly approached. Although Padmé tried to sprint towards him, she felt herself being carried further and further away. She shouted for him, but he could not catch her. The man waved his arms in desperation for her to return. The scene disappeared and blackness covered her sight. At that same moment she heard the softest voice whispering to her. 'I will always love you, my beautiful Padmé. Have faith, my angel, for I will find my way back to you.'
TBC-Thoughts, Comments, Suggestions are always welcomed!