Yeah, so I know these Roald Dahl stories aren't really Fairy Tales or scary stories, but they're children's stories. And it gives me a good excuse to reread his books…which, I think, are totally awesome.

Couldn't you just imagine the gods telling this stuff to their kids or something?

I own nothing.

PERCY AND THE NECTAR FACTORY: PART III

Now that Drew the banana was gone, and so was Nico—who fell into the Nectar River—Mr. Zeus went on with the tour.

"Okay, then," said Mr. Zeus happily. "This is the Fizzy Nectar Room."

"Where's the nectar?" asked Clarisse La Rue.

"Right here, on the Central Island Counter," said Mr. Zeus proudly. "But I don't want you guys trying any of it, 'cause it's still too powerful. I've already lost, like, eight nymphs because they tried some and they didn't come back. Now, follow me."

While the others went on, Percy and Paul stayed behind.

"You know," said Paul slyly, "I am kinda thirsty."

"Yeah. Me, too," Percy agreed. He picked up a bottle of nectar and took a sip. "Nothing's happening. He wasn't right. It doesn't make you go anywhere—" But as soon as Percy said that, he was lifted off the ground and floating toward the ceiling.

"Crap!" Paul yelled. "I'm coming, Perce!" He took a sip and was joining his stepson in no time.

"Now, how do we get down? I'm really bored up here," said Percy.

"Ugh. I'm not sure," Paul said, and hiccupped. "Hey! Look! I'm going down!"

Percy hiccupped, too. "Wow! Me, too!"

Once they'd gotten back down to Earth, Paul glanced at Percy. "Let's catch up with the others before we get totally screwed."

They found the others in a room filled with small animals—cats, to be exact.

"So, here's how it all goes down from here," Mr. Zeus was saying. "These cats are the taste-testers for the chocolate-flavored nectar. They are each, at the beginning of the day, placed at their stations. Then they are given some milk to try. If they like it, they do a backflip. If they don't, they make a sick face, and a nymph takes it away and dumps it down the toilet over there." He pointed to a large toilet.

"Dad!" Clarisse screamed. "Can I get a cat?"

"No, punk," Ares snapped at her. "You already have three of them at home. And you have six fish, a hamster, and a guinea pig. If you want a cat, it'll be your money."

Clarisse kicked him, and Ares finally gave in.

"How much is the cat, Zeus?" asked Ares.

"Uh…they're not for sale. She can't have one, my good sir," Mr. Zeus replied.

"Who says so?" Clarisse wailed.

"He did," Ares replied.

"Fine! I'll get one myself!" Clarisse yelled. She went over to the nearest cat and held out her arms to it. "I'll…have…YOU!"

The cat hissed at her and knocked her to the ground. It licked her face. All of the other cats hissed and ran to Clarisse. They started dragging her toward the toilet. A nymph in a beautiful green dress was waiting there. Clarisse was actually large enough to be flushed, so she was.

"Gods!" Ares screamed. "How dare you, punk? She was my kid!"

"Sir, that's how it works. I don't make the rules, I just work here," said Mr. Zeus.

"You suck!" Ares cried. "Clarisse! I'm coming!" And he was flushed down the toilet, too.

Mr. Zeus took out his whistle again and the nymphs circled around the toilet.

Nymphs and dryads, doo-dee-doo-doo,

Off goes the girl and her father, too.

Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-dee-dee,

Take the time now to listen to me.

Clarisse is what we shall now call a brat.

She just had to tick off that poor little cat.

She could've smiled or, at least, gushed,

But instead she decided to get flushed.

And she dragged Ares with her!

Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-da-da,

It's not as funny as Drew Banana.

We should be getting out of here soon,

'Cause we're nymphs and dryads, we are not loons!

"Well, wait till you guys see my TV room," said Mr. Zeus. They had just entered the TV room. "This is a new things called Nectar-Vision. It's just like TV, but you can transport food."

"Sweet! Can you transport me into a Pac-Man game?" asked Dionysus.

"Well," said Mr. Zeus, "I could…but the Nectar-Video-Game is that-a way." He pointed with his thumb to a chunky nymph playing a video game.

"Dionysus, please don't do this," Chiron warned. "It won't be good for you."

"Go to Hades! This is my day! When it's your day, I'll listen to you! But for now, I want to play Pac-Man!"

Dionysus got on a small platform and the chubby nymph pressed a button. Dionysus vanished, then reappeared on the screen, being chased by Pac-Man.

"This is totally awesome!" he yelled. "Can I do it again?"

"No, you'll vanish forever," said Mr. Zeus. "We'll need to stretch you so you'll be back to your fat self, Dionysus."

The nymph took Dionysus out of the video game by pressing another button, and gave him to Chiron. "I'll take him to the Nectar Machine, Mr. Zeus, sir."

"Okay, cutie-pants. Go ahead."

The nymph kissed him on the cheek and left.

Nymphs and dryads, doo-dee-doo-doo,

I've got an awesome story for you!

Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-dee-dee,

Take the time now to listen to me.

Dionysus is extraordinary fat.

He sits on his butt and acts like a cat.

He spends all his days watching stupid TV,

And Pac-Man is the video game for he!

Chiron must be spoiling him.

Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-doo-doo,

If you are Chiron, your buddy's screwed.

I think our work here is done.

We are nymphs and dryads, da-dee-dum-dum!

"Is that how you greet people? By kissing them?" asked Percy, surprised.

"Yeah," said Mr. Zeus, "well, you guys want to know something depressing?"

They nodded.

"I've just heard that you guys drank my Fizzy Nectar. I oughta banish you straight to Nectar Tartarus for that! So, I WAS gonna give you the prize, but I guess we'll have to give it to one of the other little poop heads, eh?"

"No, I'm sorry," said Percy. "We are so poor at home. I don't eat much. We were just so thirsty."

"Oh," said Mr. Zeus, looking saddened, "I'm sorry, both of you. I'll make you a deal, though. You, your mom, and Paul here can work with me in the factory, if I give you a lifetime supply of nectar and ambrosia. Any flavor you want, I can make."

"Of course!" said Percy happily.

"Very well, then," said Mr. Zeus. He snapped his fingers and Sally appeared in front of them. "Now, my dears, you will be staying with some nymphs, but they don't bite. I'll burn your old, crappy house, and you can live and work here with me."

With that, Percy, Paul, and Sally agreed, and Mr. Zeus presented them with a lifetime supply of ambrosia and nectar.

Did you guys like it? Should I do more children's books? I thought about doing "James and the Giant Peach" or "The Twits" (both by Roald Dahl), but what do you guys think? Leave answers in reviews! Hope you enjoyed this "series!"