Chapter 34-The latest chapter of this FF story is up. It's coming down the stretch...thanks for reading and for the feedback!
When she first saw him, she never guessed he would someday be the love of her life. She had been a young girl and he a young boy, and their friendship had grown stronger every day like two separate pieces of rope intertwining together to create the strong bond between them. A bond that had been tested but had always held despite a handful of blowups between them including the one where she had walked out on him and his company because he had told her that the man that she loved then had been a remorseless kidnapper and killer.
Fortunately, common sense and her trust in his feelings for her had drawn her back into his life just as quickly as she had left it. But even then she hadn't known that they would ever get together.
They had left the Brick and her meeting with Ed and Maurice behind and headed back to the cabin, well after picking up some food to go. Food that could be kept warm in the oven would work best while they spent their time working up an appetite.
Each time they came together, C.J. thought as she held onto him that it couldn't get any better but each time she discovered she was wrong. Afterward, they remain wrapped up, their hearts both slowing down and she looked at him and smiled.
"You're trying to soften me up," she said.
He looked innocent.
"Is it working?"
She stroked his chest.
"Maybe," she said, "It's not that I don't want to, you know."
Oh he did know that. She had watched him propose to several women, get engaged and yet never put that pledge into action. Once, his fiancée had been murdered, another time she had left him unable to cope with the fact that he couldn't separate his professional life from his more personal one, anymore than he could physically split himself into two parts. C.J. had shaken her head at that explanation as to why Matt's last engagement to Elizabeth had gone bust. Silly, she thought, if you can't love the whole person, why be with him at all?
At the time she hadn't realized just how personally she had answered her own question. But now she knew better even more so than she had that night when she had thrown caution in the wind and had allowed herself to feel more for him than she had ever allowed. When she had challenged him with her body when words failed to return that feelings, she hadn't known how he would respond. For a split second, she wondered if she should have taken the chance at all to get closer…but he had answered her unspoken question with his own body, and had made love with her as if he had waited his whole life to do it.
Now…months later, she knew that even if there hadn't been a baby on the way, that his feelings towards her had grown and that had done a lot to alleviate her own fears about his place in her life. If he died tomorrow, she would still mourn him but if she had never known what she'd missed…she would mourn that too.
She felt his embrace tighten and she kissed him again. They did that for a while before she settled next to him curling her body against his own.
"You're so beautiful," he said, softly.
She smiled.
"I'm…beginning to definitely show…," she said a bit shyly.
She felt his hands caress her abdomen where their baby grew, stroking the small bump that had seemingly shown up overnight. Her pants had grown ever tighter but until now, she hadn't seen more tangible evidence of what they had shared the first night they had spent together.
"I noticed…and you're the sexist women…"
She chuckled.
"I'm the only woman in the room."
"You're the only woman in my heart," he finished, "and I can't say how much I enjoyed this time we've spent together."
She looked directly into his eyes.
"Then show me cowboy…"
And so he did.
They sat eating their food a long while later, while sitting in front of the fire together. Their meal was delicious and they sat in comfortable silence for a while.
"I'm glad the food stayed warm," she said finally.
"Yeah we were otherwise…occupied."
The light still shone outside showing that it was about late afternoon. C.J. wrapped the blanket around her that Matt had found and after they had finished eating, she patted her sofa for him to come and join her. He put his plate aside and did, and she placed the blanket over them both while they sat there in the cozy cabin snuggling together.
"So where are we going to have this baby," he asked.
She thought about that.
"I don't know," she said, "I guess I'll have to decide pretty soon."
"You think you'll stay here?"
She thought again.
"Maybe," she said, "The people in this town have been really great and that's what I needed so much especially in the beginning but I like it here."
He nodded.
"Then we'll stay here…"
She raised a brow at him.
"I mean it C.J.," he said, "If this is where you feel comfortable and want to be, then that's best for you and our baby…and for me because what I really want is for us to be a family together."
"Houston, I would never deny you that…"
"I know," he said, "It's just my way of telling you that whatever you decide, I'm okay with as long as we're together."
C.J. couldn't imagine being anywhere without him. Not that she ever could since she had known them but their relationship had definitely changed. And she wouldn't have it any other way, but marriage…that still made her hesitate. Because part of her, a smaller part, still felt apprehensive when she thought about them building a life together since she had seen how easily it could be snatched away. But she felt her reluctance thawing.
"I'll go back to L.A.," she said, "Because your life is there, your agency and your family."
"That's true," he said, "but you're my family too and I can move my agency wherever I go."
She smiled.
"What kind of caseload would you have up in this corner of Alaska?"
He smiled back and as always, it warmed her heart down to her toes.
"You never know," he said, "Business could be booming here."
She chuckled at that but drew him closer.
"I do love you," she said, "I'm sorry it took so long to figure out."
He shrugged but stroked her face with his fingers.
"Me too," he said, "But I'd say we're making up for lost time very well…"
She hesitated.
"And I want us to be together but this marriage thing…"
Suddenly they heard someone knocking at the door. They looked at each other and C.J. thought about ignoring it especially when the sight of him was enough to make her suck in her breath.
"I'd better get that," she said.
"You'd better get a robe," he advised, because she had put on her black sheer peignoir that he had developed a fondness for mostly removing.
"You've got a point," she said, searching around for her robe.
"It's on the chair," he pointed out helpfully.
She put it on as the knocking continued.
"What about you," she said, "I mean if it's one of the local women…"
He wrapped the blanket around his upper body, wearing sweats on the lower. She took one last look at him before opening the door.
"Hi, it's just me," Maggie said, then looking around, "I see I've come at a bad time."
C.J. saw the look on her face and all thoughts about demurring on some conversation faded as she invited her inside.
"I'm sorry to be invading on what's obviously a private moment between the two of you," Maggie said, "It's just that Fleischmann is being such a…"
"Flatworm," C.J. offered.
"Toe fungus," Matt guessed.
Maggie looked between the both of them.
"He's being such a…man."
C.J. looked at her.
"Can I get you some tea," she asked.
Maggie just sat down.
"No I'm fine really," she said, "and I really should go…and you can get back to what you're doing."
C.J. looked at Matt.
"No it's okay, we have a few moments," she said, "What did he do…I mean I think he's a great doctor but I don't know him as a man."
Maggie sighed.
"He's always giving me flak for anything that comes out of my mouth or what I do," she said.
Matt almost said that she did the same thing but kept quiet. Maggie just shook her head.
"I'm sorry…just forget what I said," she said.
"No," C.J. said, "I've dealt with men like that myself…I think he's just not sure how to tell you how he feels."
Matt thought Joel had a lot of growing up to do and needed to quit whining and Maggie needed to go off and find herself a better man so that he and C.J. would pick up where they left off with each other.
"You have?"
C.J. nodded.
"Some guys just aren't really good at expressing their selves around women that intimidate them…"
Maggie narrowed her eyes.
"Are you saying I'm doing something wrong," she asked.
C.J. shook her head.
"No but that sometimes it's hard for us strong, independent thinking women to realize that sometimes we need to dial it down…at least for a little while."
Maggie appeared to consider it. C.J. looked at Matt who looked frustrated.
"Joel does seem like a nice man but he seems a bit insecure…"
Maggie rolled her eyes.
"Tell me about it."
Matt sighed inwardly.
"Maggie, why don't you tell him about it," he suggested, "The only way to work through this is through direct communication. The two of you need to stop playing games with one another or you'll be circling like sharks forever…"
She seemed taken aback at that.
"What do you mean, we're sharks?"
"I mean that when you see someone you want so much your insides ache," he continued, "that you won't be engaging in this silly mating dance that you two got going on…"
C.J. raised a brow.
Mating dance?
But she admired his stronger, more direct approach because hers wasn't working and what she really wanted was to try out a few dance steps with him…alone.
But Maggie looked transfixed at what had appeared so simple to C.J.
"Wow, that's really powerful," she said, "But with him and me…it's more intellectually, more love-hate…"
Matt frowned at that. He never bought into that whole love/hate nonsense. Not even his libido did. But obviously some folks went about this differently than he did. Still, he wanted her out of the cabin in less than a minute so he could focus on more important things than trying to explain the obvious to a woman who except when it came to Joel appeared to be very intelligent.
"Maybe you should just give it a try," he advised.
She nodded slowly.
"Okay…I'm sorry I walked in on what looks like…I'll be leaving now."
She walked to the door and stepped out, closing it behind her. Both C.J. and Matt looked at her breathing a sigh of relief.
"I like her but I didn't think she would ever leave," she said.
Matt swept her up in his arms.
"Excuse me Miss, but I think we're needed elsewhere," he said, as he walked to the bedroom.
She chuckled, wrapping her arms around him.
"I think so too."