A/N: Big chapter ahead! I worry that the chapters have gotten too long and become tedious to read. Hopefully this one will be worth it? ;)
XXX
The day scarcely improved after the ruckus of a morning created by Mary's bad mood. Although she managed to calm down and leave the twins' room in disarray, neither child seemed interested in being near her, but she wondered if part of that was Marshall's doing. He sent them out into the backyard to play for awhile, hats on their heads and gloves on their hands. He also made the foolish suggestion that Mary try to take a nap because she'd slept so poorly the night before, but she couldn't rest even if she'd wanted to. Her mind was on overdrive, and it was about to go careening into the nearest guardrail for what felt like the hundredth time.
The slamming of the front door met her ears while Mary was lying on her bed perusing a few files from the office, mindless busywork that Marshall would be appalled to learn she was bothering herself with. Nonetheless, there was no missing the crash that came from the hinges swinging into place, which was quickly followed by busy, frantic voices.
"You have to tell her you're here!"
The inflection was definitely Jinx's, high-pitched and frenzied. Flinging her folder to the bare side of the mattress, Mary sat up, hoping to hear more.
"You are going to do this and you are going to do it now – you owe it to her!" Jinx again.
"Come in here; I want to talk to you anyway…" and that was Marshall.
Furrowing her brow, Mary didn't really have all of her wits about her and couldn't figure out what was going on. What would make Jinx act so urgently? And was she referring to Mary? Somebody owed Mary something? That was certainly a new color on Jinx.
"You're here and you're going to stay!" the mother insisted shrilly.
"But, maybe we should wait a few minutes before bringing Mary into it…"
And then a third voice split stridently into the mix, "Why wait?! She's gonna rip me a new one no matter what!"
Mary flew off the bed so quickly she nearly tripped and fell over the frame. Hands outstretched in case she did topple over, she managed to regain her balance before streaking the length of the bedroom, flinging her door open and stomping down the hall.
She knew who the third voice was. It was more recognizable than Jinx's, even than Marshall's and he was the only man in the house. But, the timbre had always been very unique – coarse and scratchy, like rattling gravel or sandpaper rubbing together. It made Mary think of crackling fall leaves in her warmer moments, and blaring static through a radio in her more stand-offish ones.
Right now, it prompted a searing, burning heat that rose as a flush in her cheeks, her socked feet slipping and sliding on the hardwood as Marshall came into view. He stood with his arms extended, like he was trying to call a halt to whoever dared penetrate the home. Jinx was present as well, in jeans and a fuzzy pink sweater, her brunette hair slightly uncombed and falling down her shoulders.
And there between them, in grey sweatpants, a ratty denim jacket, blonde hair pulled into a ponytail, was Brandi.
The scene was suspended mid-action, like the trio of individuals had put their performance on pause just so Mary could walk in at the right time. But, the missing member stalled once she reached the sofa, drinking in her little sister, trying to process that after days of worrying while simultaneously brewing with resentment, that she was finally here. In one very small way she had actually proved Mary wrong. In spite of James' prophecy that she would return now that her band of conspirators had broken up, the elder sister had honestly given up hope.
"Where are the kids?" Mary's mouth opened even though she didn't intend to let it; her impulse was ahead of her thoughts.
"Still outside," Marshall reported dully.
"Go with them."
Mary wasn't as accustomed to giving Marshall orders as she used to be. In their heyday, she'd been quite comfortable sending him left, right, and center so long as it meant she got what she wanted. While she didn't especially like the way she sounded arranging so that he could do her bidding, she also knew it was imperative that he keep Ben and Lizzie sequestered. After the morning they'd already endured, they didn't need to see Mary blow her top a second time. Once was more than enough.
Jinx seemed despairing by being asked to leave. Perhaps she thought she could facilitate some kind of reconciliation between her daughters, but even that was going out on a limb. Now that Mary could see how the mysterious person fit into the bodiless voices she'd heard behind the door, it followed that Jinx had actually been trying to force Brandi to take responsibility and face Mary. Could it be that she was finally realizing the kind of havoc her younger daughter had put them all through?
Marshall, on the other hand, appeared leery of leaving the two women alone. He had kept his distance as much as possible in the last few days, but he was dying to be of more comfort than his wife was allowing him to provide. Nonetheless, she had enough barriers to break through without him standing in her way.
"Are you sure?" was all he asked.
Mary nodded curtly, "Yes. Go. I need to speak to…" a hard gulp followed the bobbing of her head. "…My sister."
She practically spit the phrase, knowing there were no notions in her mind of holding back. Brandi looked frightened at what was coming, and Mary was crudely satisfied by the terror that resided. She hoped Brandi fought back; she hoped she made excuses and pled her case to no avail, because it would just give Mary every opportunity in the world to lash back and brawl with the best of them.
"Please…" Marshall still hadn't moved, so Mary minimized her approach for half a second. "Go."
The man obeyed on this front, gesturing toward the sliding glass door in the kitchen so Jinx would join him. She slumped over rather reluctantly, breaking between her girls and looking desperately from one to the other.
"Honey…" to Mary. "If you'd let me stay, I could…"
"Mom," she interrupted shortly and flatly. "Go with Marshall."
Green eyes looking remarkably shiny, Jinx conceded defeat and wandered past the island behind her son-in-law. Mary waited until she was certain the door had slid shut and that the kids had not escaped indoors before facing Brandi with cold, dead eyes. The hatred she felt just seeing her stand there was like nothing she had ever known. Only the smallest trickle of relief ran in her veins knowing that she was all right, that she hadn't managed to get herself killed – that Holly had not lost her mother.
But, the lackluster appearance, the red-rimmed eyes, the guise that she was wounded – all of it made Mary want to race across the room and choke her until she felt as badly as her big sister did. She was so deceiving and disloyal and Mary couldn't wait to tear into her.
It was when Brandi's mouth began to open, like she expected to have the initial word, that Mary blasted off like a rocket and never looked back.
"So. She lives."
Brandi only scuffed her feet, and her lack of a rebuttal just encouraged Mary to pull up her bootstraps and get on with the fight.
"How could you do this?" her petition was dark and lethal, her hands quaking on the spot, her feet craving to run and shake answers from the one who had caused so much turmoil. "How could you show your sorry, wretched face after what you did?"
Mary's compulsion was to move closer, but knew it would be a very bad idea to do so, because she did not trust herself to keep her hands off Brandi. She had been known to carry a violent streak in her past, and now wasn't the time to act on it, not with Ben and Lizzie just a stone's throw away.
Why she gave her an opportunity to defend herself, Mary would never know, but hand it to her she did.
Brandi's voice was meek, "I thought…because it was dad…" she whispered. "Because it was dad…that…you might…" she knew it was reckless to go down this road, but she decided to take the plunge. "…You might…under…"
"Understand?!" Mary bellowed, tone ringing in the space that surrounded them. "Why the hell would I understand?! He's a CRIMINIAL! What in God's name were you thinking?! How could you get mixed up with someone like him?! You brought him – you brought him to this house…!"
"He came on his own…"
Mary paid no attention, "…To this house where my kids are! How could you do that?! Do you have any idea what I went through just trying to keep him away from them?! Not to mention what I had to screw around with because he showed up!"
Just the fact that she'd had this conversation what felt like a million times already was enough to make Mary even more irate. She'd talked about it with Marshall, with Jinx, and with James himself, and Brandi compelling her to drudge it up all over again was just icing on the cake, and not in a good way.
"This is exactly why I didn't tell you…" Brandi moaned, tears springing to her bright blue eyes, James' in miniature. "Because I knew that if you didn't understand, I would have to hear about it; I just walked in two seconds ago and you're already on my case…"
"You've been gone for four days!" Mary reminded her at her most ample volume. "No note, no explanation! Mom's been running around half out of her mind thinking you were dead!" she wasn't going to mention that she'd wondered the same thing. "You're someone's daughter! You're someone's wife and someone's sister and someone's MOTHER!" the last one was the real nail in the coffin. "What could have possessed you to the point where you would think messing around with dad was favorable to being with Holly?!"
Mary's hands were gesticulating in several different directions as she continued haranguing Brandi, who winced every time she became louder and more berserk. Eyes popping, face reddening, she knew she must be a true sight to behold, but that was the least of her worries at this point.
"I knew that Holly was safe -!"
"She was sick!"
"I knew that she was safe and that Peter would get it once he learned I was just trying to help him! You have no idea how much money he lost when that person who worked for him stole from the dealership; he was going into foreclosure…!"
"Did you steal the money?"
"What?!"
"Did you steal it?!" Mary repeated wildly, not knowing she was factoring in the possibility until the accusation left her mouth. "I can't figure out what other reason you would have for working your ass off to replace it unless you were the one who took it in the first place!" and even that wouldn't be enough to account for the massive fraud she'd committed just by being with James.
"Of course I didn't steal it!" Brandi had the audacity to sound indignant, sticking a hand on her hip. "Why the hell would I do something like that?!"
"There are so many reasons to choose from!" the elder countered viciously, practically baring her teeth like a rabid pit bull. "I don't know why you do anything anymore! If you're willing to drive from here to there with some outlaw and have no problem accepting his stolen money, then embezzling from the Autoplex should be a cinch!"
A poor excuse for a rebuttal was whizzing through Brandi's brain; Mary could tell by the way she gaped soundlessly for a moment, as though sickened that the taller of the two could take the situation and make it sound so calculated.
"It wasn't me that took the money from the dealership," Brandi insisted finally, and she still looked insulted at such a perception. "But, Peter was ruined and he needed someone to do something; when Scott couldn't help me, I went to the next best thing…!"
"You think dad is the next best thing?"
How could Brandi be so blind, so utterly and inconceivably moronic?
"He's better than you!" the shorter was getting worked up now, acting upon the reasons she'd set her entire plan in motion in the first place, even when she'd realized she'd been in way over her head. "I knew if I ever asked you for money that if you loaned it to me, you would never let me forget it! It would be hanging over my head forever! With dad there were no strings!"
"Brandi, he is a con!" Mary was unable to believe she had forgotten something like this. "He could've been lying through his teeth to you and you'd be none the wiser! Do you really think you're clever enough to outsmart someone like that? You had no way of knowing when he might turn on you!" she even ignored the slight on her own character in order to get through to her little sister, but it was pointless.
"For your information, he never once turned his back on me!" Mary's heart began to race seeing just how taken in Brandi had been by a man who had left her in the dust, and the way she discounted the sister who had been there for her all along. "It was me who left him! I just got nervous, I just…I wasn't sure…I thought I had enough to get by…"
Hearing her try to cover up her obvious anxiety for how far things had gone was absolutely unimportant to Mary. What did she care that she'd left the scene she'd been on, just like she'd left the scene at the hospital? Just remembering the hospital gave Mary another reason to straddle her vengeance.
"And when you were on your little vacation with James and Scott, what did you think was going on with Holly?" Mary was biting and rueful. "Suppose something had happened to her. How was anyone supposed to find you? Would you have even cared enough to turn up for the funeral, or is a deal with a couple of bookies more essential than that too?"
"Peter was with Holly!" as if this made any difference. "And with you and Marshall and mom, and I wasn't supposed to be gone as long as I was; it just took a few days more because dad was trying to be careful…"
"Holly is your daughter!" it seemed there should come a day when Brandi no longer needed to be reminiscent of this fact, but that day was not today. "Do you know how many people would kill to have what you have, and as easily as you got it?" a selfish, jealous stripe surged in Mary's blood at bringing that up, but she buried it. "How can you take her for granted like you did? You will never get that time back; Holly is never going to forget that you ditched her!"
"She's only three!" the other woman was inexorable. "Not even! She won't remember – and I'm here now!"
"I remembered!" Mary was unable to resist feeding her sister with the cold, hard truth where a parent's neglect was concerned. "I remember every single time your new best buddy left me in limbo to take care of your sorry ass and mom's drunken one! It is a bad dream, it is a nightmare, and I relieve it way more times than you ever want to hear about! And trust me, Holly will remember too!"
"Well, you probably want her to!" now Brandi took a step closer, droplets spilling over, sputtering almost unintelligibly as Mary fought hard not to move. "You probably spent every damn second I was gone telling her stories about what a horrible mother I am!"
"Would you shut up?!" if Brandi never said that again, it would still be too soon. "If you're a horrible mother, than you are a horrible mother and no one made you that way! Since you're so frantic to have dad as a role model, than I guess you lived up to your expectations, didn't you? Like father, like daughter!"
A deep breath coursed through the room after this pronouncement, and judging by the way Brandi pursed her lips and narrowed her blazing eyes, she was taking a look at it from all angles. Mary crossed her arms over her chest, internally praying she would be able to keep herself in check a little longer, but it wasn't going to be easy. Brandi's paltry defense for her reprehensible behavior was stifling to the point where Mary felt she was having trouble breathing.
What had happened as so many years had gone by? Mary had always thought she was teaching her responsibility and hard work and commitment, and her efforts had fallen spectacularly short. Even Jinx had learned far more than her youngest daughter, something Mary thought would never come to pass.
In the absence of hurling epithets, Mary could almost sense the tension in the room fermenting, distilling into bubbles about to burst above everything on the exterior. There were so many underlying issues that Mary didn't know where to pick up, but the need to know where Brandi's head had been during the entire ordeal was still gnawing at her insides like a parasite.
Taking a cautionary step forward so there was about four feet between her and Brandi, Mary hissed in a low and menacing accent, like that of a snake slithering through the high grass.
"Tell me why you did it…" and even the hiss turned into an appeal. "Tell me why you went to him, why you stuck it out…with him," she didn't need to say James' name. "Scott, I could live with; I wouldn't trust him with my tooth fairy money, let alone however many thousand Peter lost, but I could get past it…" granting Brandi even a tiny bit of leeway. "But…Brandi…"
Even though the outrage slipped away briefly to make room for the disbelief, Brandi could not be influenced that Mary would ever empathize with her decisions.
"It wouldn't matter if I told you," she was flaring once more. "You'd never approve; you never approve of anything I do…"
"I draw the line at playing with illegal miscreants, Squish!"
"Because I am a loser!" she suddenly burst out, making Mary jump unexpectedly. "Because I'm no kind of daughter – you'll always be better! Because I'm no kind of mother – you'll always be better!" emphasizing this time, wetness flying in all directions. "Because I thought, once dad stepped into the picture, it might be a chance for me to show someone – anyone – that I was worth something! I didn't plan for him to be there, and I was scared as hell we were going to get caught, but I never knew him, Mary! He was yours – he was always yours and I wanted a shot!"
"Doesn't it matter to you what he did to us?" Mary couldn't get past this; she'd been older than Brandi when James had walked out, but she knew the sort of toll it had taken on the family, on Jinx and on Mary. "You remember how we lived – you remember how mom was! You know that was his doing! He doesn't deserve second chances, Brandi!"
"Yeah, and neither do I!" she had a surprisingly swift comeback. "Do you know how many people I have lost just because I made stupid mistakes that they couldn't forgive? Raph and Mark and even you! You'll take all my transgressions to the grave!"
The abuse coming her direction was of no consequence to Mary, because the loathing still bubbling in her gut was now on behalf of another person – one who deserved to have his honor defended. Her features contorted with fury just thinking about how many openings he had given Brandi without ever turning her loose.
"Peter stood by you!" her inflections were strong and forceful. "You screwed him over I don't know how many times and he's never done anything to you like you've done to him! You were damn lucky to have found someone who was willing to put up with all your nonsense and he is still putting up with it! So don't you stand here and tell me no one believes in you because Peter and Holly were sick over where you might've gone!"
She finished by jutting a finger in her sister's face, but Brandi smacked it out of the way with her nails. Mary was ready to give her a good hard shove, but she stopped herself just in time. Nonetheless, her fortitude was draining away by the second. When she became out-of-control, there was no trusting her, and beating Brandi to a pulp would solve nothing except to give Mary grim satisfaction.
Stuffing her hands into her pockets, she simply glared at Brandi, who took it upon herself to discount everything Mary had tried to force her to face.
"I can't do anything right!" still on that. "And dad was going to give me what I needed without any questions, and he wanted to find out what I'd been up to all these years, and I wanted him – I wanted him all to myself!"
"You can have him!" Mary hurled back, disgusted. "You and Scott can just shack up in prison together and I don't care if I ever see you again! Hope it's cozy in the state pen!"
"We didn't do anything they can lock us up for!" but Brandi sounded uncertain.
"Oh, you are in for a rude awakening!" Mary scoffed pitilessly. "Once the feds track you down, you are toast! You were aiding and abetting a fugitive, Squish – along with a whole string of other crimes I won't even bore you with. You will be fortunate to get off with community service, and you can forget making me your one phone call. I'm done jeopardizing my career for your shit!"
"You'd do it for him!"
"I arrested him the second he walked through the door!" the slight exaggeration was minor. "And I'd do it again! If I hear you blame your idiotic decisions on your pathetic self-esteem one more time I am gonna throw myself out the window!"
"Yeah, it's easy for you to say – it's easy for you to stand up to dad because as far as he's concerned you're perfect!" hands clenched into fists, Brandi pitched forward, almost like she pleading with Mary, but it was clear to see she was blaming her. "I spent two months trying to get to know him while he was getting the money for Peter and there was only one thing he could talk about!"
Mary could feel her expression lighten, if only for a fraction of a second. While she was wholly unwilling to accept Brandi's feeble reasoning for why she'd camped out with their father, a tiny filter of remorse – and was it pride? – filled her heart. The feeling was gone as quickly as it had come on, and she knew it was lucky that her sister was so hot and bothered she didn't notice.
"I try to tell him about me and my job and Peter and Holly and everything I've made of myself even if it's nothing anybody cares about and who does he want to talk about?!"
By the waterlogged puddles in Brandi's eyes, Mary knew where this was going.
"YOU!" the scream was deafening and riotously unrestrained to the point where Brandi's voice cracked. "All he wanted to hear about was YOU! What's Mary doing? How's Mary? Is Mary okay? What are Mary's kids like? What's Mary's husband like? Mary taught you this, Mary made you this – according to him, everything good I ever turned out to be was all because of you!"
In a different time and place, Mary would've understood the sting this left for Brandi, but given everything she'd saddled the family with due to her passion for approval, she could not give in to any kind of compassion. If anything, she found the younger Shannon's attitude to be childish and far-far beneath her.
"Brandi, you are not a six-year-old!" it was important to match her pound-for-pound in the noise level, because she couldn't think she could get away with feeling sorry for herself any longer. "You have a husband that loves you and a little girl that needs you, and whatever crap I gave you over the years does not excuse you running to dad to feed your ego!"
"This from the woman who wallowed over him for forty years!"
"Well, I'm done wallowing!" Mary declared with reckless abandon. "And, if you want proof, here's your proof!"
Without rational deliberation, Mary turned on her heel and tromped from the living room and back to the bedroom. Fueled by her vexation, likely to set off fireworks from the way her cheeks had begun to flare with such pain and distress, she threw open her closet doors so hard they banged against the outside wall. Shoving a whole row of hanging clothes to the side, she flattened herself to the ground, and with one good grope, she wrenched out the tin filled with the letters James had written her, dating back to February of 1978.
Not considering the ramifications or outcome in the least, leaving her closet in disorder, she stalked the direction she had come and held up the black tin with the faded rose-colored stripes for Brandi to see.
"Take them!" shaking the container so you could hear the parchment rattling on the inside. "You want dad so bad, you can have him! I might not have been fulfilled without him before, but he's come and gone and that's enough for me!"
Brandi made a derisive noise in her throat, but said nothing, though Mary noticed her eyes were on the bin.
"If you are willing to give up someone as sweet, someone as flawless as Holly…" for the first time since Brandi had arrived, Mary's throat went tight with tears, eyes stinging as they fought to escape. "…Then you're two peas in a pod, Squish. You and dad deserve each other."
The shorter had the nerve to mock this, "She's just a little girl; when she's older…"
"She's not just a little girl…" unashamedly, Mary began to cry in earnest, something she couldn't ever remember doing in front of Brandi because she had always been expected to be the bigger person. "She's a princess. And Lizzie's a cowgirl and Ben's a superhero and they can be anything they want to be as long as they have people who buy into it; people who don't give up on them; people who show them if they shoot for the moon they can sail beyond the stars…"
Expertly ignoring her sister's heartfelt message, Brandi just shook her head.
"They'll only think that way for so long; they won't be little forever and you're missing it…" Mary's heart broke just thinking someone could brush that aside so carelessly. "You're missing everything for a guy who never wanted either of us; when I think about all I missed out on with Jamie, I don't want to let you do that with Holly…"
"UGH!" out of the blue, Brandi threw up her hands, sounding highly annoyed by Mary's flowery speech, tossing it off because it would mean facing reality. "Not everything is about you and Jamie!" the way she said his name was revolting. "You act like you're the only person who's miscarried – the only person who lost something!"
Vile revulsion overcame Mary in no time flat, "You really are a selfish bitch…!" and the war continued so vehemently that neither sister heard the back door open.
"And you're living in some fantasy!" Brandi hypothesized. "The world is not some flawless pretty painted picture just because our kids are in it! It's nasty and rude and you and I and everyone else need all the help we can get, even if it's from dad!"
"These kids are as close to flawless as you'll ever get! They mess up, but they're your future!"
"You think these kids are flawless?" Brandi was in shock. "Miscarriage addled your brain! Holly is great, but she is not flawless! She whines all the time…"
"She's three!"
"And you've got one that's deluded thinking he's the next Superman and Lizzie's a scaredy cat!"
If ever there was a moment Mary was going to hit her, it was then and there, and she actually flung herself forward, but a loud, far more powerful tone than either was anticipating sang out above their debate.
"HEY!"
Whipping around, Mary saw Ben standing in the kitchen, and before she could absorb what he must've heard, he clued her in without meaning to.
"Lizzie's my sister; don't you say that about her!"
Brandi was visibly horror-struck that her nephew had walked in on them and been privy to what she'd said, but Mary's main concern was getting him out of the dispute. Deep down though, she couldn't help the contentment mingling with shock that he was so fiercely defending of Lizzie.
"Ben, go back outside," Mary managed before she lost it.
"You take back what you said about Lizzie!" Ben ordered, looking nearly as pissed as his mother, no indulgence in his face even though it was his aunt he was speaking to. "She is not a scaredy cat!"
"Ben, I mean it. Go outside," but Mary was careful not to sound like she was mad at him for giving Brandi what for. "I will take care of Aunt Brandi."
"She was mean to Lizzie!" he protested.
"Yes, she was," Mary would not argue. "I will handle it. Please go outside."
Displeased and still ready to raise his fists, Ben grumbled back to the door and marched through it, not before giving it a good hard slam before departure.
But, Mary had-had enough. There was no reasoning with Brandi. There was nothing to be done. She was beyond assistance. Insulting the kids was the last straw; whatever change had overcome her in the last few years was startling and nearly eternal, but Mary wouldn't stand for it. She was done.
"Get the hell out of this house," there was no room for concession. "I don't ever want you showing up here again. My kids are not a punching bag for you to take out your deplorable self-respect on. How dare you call them names – they're five and they're miles ahead of you."
"Yep…" Brandi whispered, still clinging to a shred of dignity. "Mary's perfect kids, just like dad assumed…"
Her rage broke, "GET OUT!"
"Go to hell!"
"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
In a fit of fury, Mary hurled the can of letters she'd still been holding across the room at Brandi's retreating back. It missed smacking her and injuring her as badly as Mary wanted her to hurt; instead, it smashed open on the hardwood, denting the lid and scattering the aged letters all over the floor. The front door slammed shut in her sister's wake and Mary, withered to pieces for the third or fourth time in just a few days, sunk to her knees knowing she needed to clean up before anyone came back inside and saw the damage.
She was bawling as she tried to gather the remains of the notes, eyes catching words like 'sweetheart' and 'a million kisses' and there were pictures too, which she did her best to ignore. Heart wobbling dangerously on a string, she blinked past the face of a younger Jinx and a plump baby Brandi, admiring the pink flowered stationary that James' earliest writings were penned upon.
So consumed in her grief, she didn't hear the return of Ben's voice.
"Do…do you need…do you need help…mama?"
She pretended not to be alarmed at his appearance, nor the fact that he'd called her 'mama' which was something that was usually reserved for Lizzie. Instead, she flashed him a watery, pseudo-smile from where he stood just on the other side of the island.
"Oh, no buddy…" a sniffle as the tears continued to run; she couldn't have gotten rid of them even if she'd tried. "I…I've got…"
But, then she recalled how she'd downplayed his heroics earlier in the day, and knew now was the moment to allow him to play savior.
"…Actually, that would be nice," she settled on. "Would you help me put these back?" motioning toward the tin.
Hurrying forward, Ben was diligent in following the direction, scooping up as many letters and snapshots as he could, stuffing them where they belonged without really looking at them. His eyes were for Mary, as this was not a boy who often witnessed his mother shedding tears. Mary kept trying to grin, to show that it was no big deal, but since he'd already heard Brandi's ranting, it was unlikely he would buy into it.
Once they'd finished, Mary inclined onto her knees so they were eye-to-eye.
"Thanks, Bullet."
Ben averted his gaze to the floor, drawing rings with his toe and looking melancholy.
"You don't have to call me Bullet," he said quietly, demoralizing though it might be. "My name's Ben."
Saddened that she'd taken away his beloved alter ego, Mary knew it was up to her to fix whatever damage his confidence had suffered before he was as old as Brandi and beyond repair.
"Oh, no…" she shook her head slowly. "Hmm mmm. You'll always be Bullet to me. You want to know why?"
Ben just shrugged.
"Because only a superhero would do the right thing even when it's scary, even when he might get in trouble – like you just did with Aunt Brandi for Lizzie. I'm very proud of what you said."
"I wanted to say more," he admitted now that he knew he was in the clear. "She made you cry."
"I can take it, Ben. Thanks for coming to my rescue. I couldn't have done it without you."
That little face stared up at her, azure eyes identical to that of his father's and even his grandfather's, the cheeks and chin, eyelashes and eyebrows exactly as they'd been on the day he'd looked into his mother's face for the very first time.
And then, thoroughly stunning Mary, he put two soft, tentative little arms around her neck. Her lips parted in awe, and she wasn't so startled that she couldn't return the embrace, though was careful not to push her luck and drag him into her clasp. His gesture did nothing to help the tears, and Mary somehow found it in her to say something before they truly took over.
"What's this for?"
Ben's voice was small, meek even, "I'm sorry I pretended I could fly."
Mary bit her lip so hard she almost tasted blood run over her flesh and onto her teeth, but she was numb to the rancid tang and piercing nibble.
"Benny, you weren't pretending…" she told him because she knew he'd had genuine faith in his abilities. She didn't break down completely, but knew a second unleash wasn't far away. "And, I was just upset – and I was afraid you were going to hurt yourself – but I never should've shouted…"
"I won't try anymore…"
Squeezing him tight now, Mary shut her eyes, feeling wetness dribble out from between her eyelashes.
"Just not inside, okay?" And then, in an attempt to show she was not just being a curmudgeon, "I don't want you to get injured. I love you, Ben," as if her high regard explained it.
Her son reciprocated, "I love you too. You know why I wanted to be a superhero in the first place, mom?"
Mary wagged her head behind him, never wanting to let him go, and then wondered how many more reasons she would have to choke up in just one day.
"Because it's the closest I'm gonna get to being as brave as you."
XXX
A/N: I've probably made Brandi completely unredeemable, which was hard for me! But, I went there so there's nothing I can do about it now!