If you're like me, you might read the first and latest chapter to see if it might be interesting. I hope it is to you. It is a long complicated story because relationships are complicated. Thanks to those who have been reading this regularly and a special welcome to those who choose to start reading now.
Chapter Thirty-Six
"Language, Jenna!" Reis shouted in the car. They were on their way to Garcia's so Reid could spend the night on research work.
"Screw that," Jenna said. "It has been five days dad and you still won't tell me what the fight was about. Aria thinks she does."
Reid glanced at her. "She does?"
"Is there another woman dad, is there?" she asked accusingly.
"No," Reid said firmly.
"You promised you'd never lie to me which is why I knew about Santa Claus before any of my friends. Are you sure Dad?"
"Jenna, there is no woman!" Reid shouted.
"Then why are you and Felica fighting?"
"Because that's what people do occasionally," he said. He could have cited sources on human behavior but now didn't feel like the right time.
"Why won't you tell me what it is about?"
"It is extremely private," Reid said as he felt himself losing his temper. "How many more times do I have to tell you?"
"Fine! Whatever. Did you know Aria wanted to help me paint their spare room this summer? It would be my choice in case we wanted to move in."
Reid was shaking with rage by the time they pulled up to Garcia's apartment. They walked to the door without saying a word.
"Hello my darlings!" Garcia gushed as usual.
"Hi Aunt Penelope," Jenna muttered and walked through the door.
"Preteen teenage trouble again?" Garcia said to Reid.
"Something like that," Reid said.
"I'm a good listener if you need me," she said looking concerned.
"Not tonight Garcia. Just make sure she does her school work and goes to bed at a proper hour as it is a school night. I'll be by in the morning to pick up."
"Sure thing genius," she said. "I have been experimenting with French toast and I hope you'll be here long enough to try some."
"I'll try," he said.
Garcia suddenly hugged him. "I'm here if you need me. Just be, just be good okay and don't stay up too late."
"I won't Garcia," he said. "I won't."
…
Reid hated lying to Garcia but work was all he knew when he was stressed. He couldn't think when he was at home these days so he went to school. His office was in the same building where a library was open at all hours so he wasn't completely alone.
With rapid precision he graded papers. He reconfigured questions for exams. After rereading three of the books he assigned and he came up with new study guides. Anything to keep his mind from the storm of emotions that kept threatening to engulf him.
To his surprise his cell phone rang. He was surprised to see Felicia's number.
"Hello," he said trying to sound upbeat.
"I heard you sent Jenna away so you could have some alone time," she stated.
"I thought we agreed to not let our kids do our talking for us," Reid said irritably.
"Neither of our kids have sleep away events this weekend, and Aria is sound asleep so I thought now would be the best time to talk."
Reid couldn't handle this right now. "Felicia I am actually to do some school work."
"At ten o'clock at night on Thursday? Really?" she said.
"One article states that the brain does creative work better when you're tired."
"I really don't care Spencer because think you're trying to avoid your problems."
Reid sighed. "What do you want Felicia?"
"Addison Rayburn," she said. "Do you still care about her?"
Reid wanted to throw his phone against the wall and curl up under his desk.
"Felicia at the risk of breaking both our hearts, I promised to never lie to you. So my answer is: I don't know."
"Why?"
"Because I wonder about her and daughter from time to time," Reid said pacing his small office. "I wonder about her divorce—"
"And whether she is still single," Felicia said.
"And whether she has custody of her daughter, losing that is what made her want to end it just as I didn't want to lose you."
"So I was your second choice?" she said her voice rising.
"You know that's not what I meant. I didn't know what real love was until I had that date with you."
"It is clear you're not over her," she said authoritatively. "But it is over for us."
Reid fell into his chair reserved for students. "But I still love you," he cried.
"Not enough to let go of Rayburn," she said.
"What do we tell our kids?"
"The truth, can yours handle it?"
"I did not cheat on you Felicia," he said.
"Emotionally you did. Goodbye Spencer Reid," she said and hung up.
After a few minutes he put down his phone and lost it. He ripped off posters, pulled books off shelves and slammed his chess set against the wall. He knew he was lucky a maintenance man didn't hear him. He taped up a sign to his door stating office hours were canceled for the coming day and then turned off the lights. Reid collapsed on a pile of books and slept fitfully.
…
There was persistent knocking on his door. He briefly wondered if it was Addison. He checked his watch to see it was eight o'clock in the morning. Jenna!
Reid opened the door to find J.J. waiting with two coffees.
"You look like crap," she stated and walked into his office. "And your office looks worse."
"Felicia broke up with me over the phone," he said. "Where's Jenna?"
"Garcia took her to school. She became worried when you didn't pick up your phone this morning and said you looked beat last night. I checked your apartment first and then noticed your car wasn't in the lot so I decided to check the school. Sorry if the coffee isn't hot."
"I don't care about coffee J.J." he said following her gazed around his office. "What about work for you?"
"I rearranged a few appointments and cited a family emergency as you are family," she said.
"You really didn't have to do all this J.J. I would have been fine."
J.J. pointed to his office with both hands. "This doesn't look fine Spence."
Reid started to put books back on shelves. "It will be, I had a lapse in judgement. I won't ever forget about Jenna and school I promise."
"Please call your sponsor today alright?" she said.
"I will J.J." he said.
There was a moment of silences. J.J. went over and helped him put books away.
"So things are over with you and Felicia," she stated.
"Yes," he said sadly.
"What if I told you that Addison Rayburn isn't over you?"
Reid looked at her straight in the eyes.
"Then we are truly two very messed-up souls."
"Or soulmates," J.J. said with a slight smile.