Benediction
Muse paced back and forth outside Baird's room in the infirmary wing, rubbing her hair every so often in a nervous twitch. On the other side of the door, Baird was being treated for shrapnel injuries by one of the medics, and from the moment she had arrived back at base and been dismissed from training, Muse had been here; waiting, and unable to stop her mind from chasing the same thoughts round and around inside her head.
Foremost of the myriad of questions, was if Baird was going to be alright. She wouldn't have thought shrapnel could be so deadly, but the medics had been truly worried about nerve and muscle damage, especially to his spine. Which led Muse's thoughts inexorably to what if Baird died, or was crippled for life? It'd be her fault and the guilt weighed heavily upon her.
Why did all those she cared about get hurt or killed? Why did she bring danger down upon those she loved? Why did death seem to follow her and touch everyone she came into contact with?
And that was another question that kept returning, each time remaining unanswered.
Why.
Why had Baird done it? Why had he risked his life to protect her?
What was it going to cost him?
By the time the medic came out to tell her that she could go in and see the injured Gear, Muse had almost chewed her nails to the bone and her hair was a dishevelled mess. As soon as she saw the medical officer, Muse was speaking before he'd even opened his mouth.
"How is he? Is he okay? Can I go and see him?" The medic looked a little amused by the outpour and Muse fell silent, feeling a blush creep up her neck as she realised how it must have looked to the other man. Which of course was just ridiculous; she was only concerned because Baird had gotten hurt protecting her from the danger, because she felt indebted.
Right?
"He's fine. The internal damage was superficial and clean cut, he'll heal without a problem. And yes," the medic was openly smiling now, causing Muse to blush further, "You can see him now."
Muse mumbled her thanks and slipped past the amused medic. Inside the room, she found Baird sitting stiffly on a low gurney, stripped of his armour down to the waist, his chest and stomach covered with the white bandages wrapping his torso. He looked up as Muse came in, and cocked an eyebrow at her frazzled appearance and rather evident blush.
The last thing he expected was for the girl to take one look at him before coming over to where he was sitting and wrapping her arms around his neck in a desperate embrace. At first the blonde Gear was too surprised to do anything, but then he slowly put his arms around her back, careful not to move too suddenly and wake the pain in his back which had finally settled down to a dull throb.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered into his shoulder, "It's all my fault."
"Muse…"
"If I hadn't-"
"Muse." Muse fell immediately silent as Baird used that same tone of command he had before, and found that it still surprised her. She looked up at him and he met her gaze squarely. "Don't."
"But I-"
"Muse." he repeated sternly, "Don't. It wasn't you're fault."
"But if you hadn't had to protect me…" Baird smiled wryly at that.
"And let you ruin that pretty face?" Muse frowned at him, not sure if he was mocking her or not. His expression softened. "Look. You're alright, I'm alright, we're fine." He paused, "Course… now you owe me one."
Muse's expression gave way to one of wariness, not sure she liked whatever it was that Baird was implying – and he obviously had some thing in mind. The Gear looked at her quietly for a long minute, then to Muse's utter surprise, he pressed a soft kiss on her cheek, just at the corner of her mouth.
"Now we're even." He murmured against her skin, and was sharply taken aback when she slapped him solidly across the face.
Baird jerked back, swearing, and stared at her in astonishment – too surprised to even demand what the hell she had done that for. Muse's face was drawn and suddenly very pale; both fists clenched as she glared at him, her mismatched eyes wide, and utterly terrified. Baird forgot even the throbbing, burning sting in his face as he realised that.
Muse was angry… but scared.
His mind immediately groped after a reason; what was she afraid of? Him? What had he done wrong? What was her problem?
"Don't. You. Dare." The furious words came out of her with a halting fragility that surprised Baird more then he could have imagined. Her voice sounded exactly as though she was building up barriers that she'd allowed herself to drop, and he could almost see the cold aloofness settle in her expression; shutting him out like she had before her breakdown at the Stranded camp ruins.
For another moment they just stared at each other, then Muse abruptly spun around and stormed out, head held high, back ramrod straight. Despite that, she looked like she was fleeing.
It was only after she'd gone that the blonde Gear finally worked out what had happened. He remembered the Stranded camp, before it had been destroyed, and their argument in the showering block. He'd kissed her then too, just to get one up on her.
Baird swore.
Muse meanwhile was half way to the engineering hanger before she became aware that her heart felt like it was pounding in her throat. Her palms were sweating and her breath panted and sobbed, almost as if she were holding back tears. Her eyes stung, and Muse silently cursed the Gear she'd just left.
She didn't like the way he made her feel. It was something she'd never encountered before - not like this at any rate - and being unfamiliar made it both frightening and confusing. These new emotions were something she couldn't control and couldn't kill, and the helplessness scared Muse more than almost anything else; only the thought of being alone was worse. The only thing she could do was wall herself off from it, like fortifying a camp against the Locust, and keep these new feelings out at all costs.
Composing herself, Muse took a deep, steadying breath before letting it out slowly. She could keep it out… she had to keep it out, because the alternative meant venturing into the unknown.
And that thought alone was terrifying.
* * *
Two days passed. Muse didn't see Baird again as she and the other recruits that had been deemed ready to become full-fledged Gears – including Shaun, Riley, and the other survivors of the attack on the recruits under Sergeant Macko – were drilled and prepared for the Oathing ceremony that would precede their acceptance into the Gear ranks.
The ceremony took place in a large outdoor plaza in the heart of COG-controlled territory, and even though no one dared say a word, merely so many people gathered in one place generated sound; the low, barely audible hum of the crowd breathing, and the rustle and creak of clothes shifting as people fidgeted. Those sounds too grew still as Chairman Prescott walked onto the stage that had been set up, and effortlessly gained the attention of every recruit in the square below his podium. Behind him sat an array of high-ranking officials, and around the plaza were gathered other Gears to watch as the greenhorns officially joined their ranks; some out of curiosity, some out of nostalgia. Others however, used the time to size up potential rookies for their own squads.
"My friends," Prescott began, spreading his arms as though encompassing the whole square, "It fills me with great pride this day to see so many young men willing to pledge their service to the protection of humanity, and be accepted into the Coalition of Ordered Governments as Gears. Today we greet over a hundred new recruits as brothers in arms, and once again reaffirm our commitment to our cause as we recite the Oath that binds us together."
Among the other recruits being sworn in as full-fledged Gears, Muse kept her gaze on the floor as she only half listened to Prescott rehash the old litanies of brotherhood and the bonds of humanity. It all seemed so… meaningless somehow, but then maybe she was just biased because she'd seen the uglier side of the COG and what it was capable of sacrificing to further its own ends. Her thoughts abruptly ended as the voices of the recruits around her were raised to recite the Oath of the Coalition in unison.
Muse felt a little sick in the pit of her stomach as they began to speak together. She'd been dreading this moment since she'd been informed of it; when all the recruits bleated the same words to show their full assimilation into the COG and acceptance of its beliefs and goals. Could she really do it? After all the things she'd seen, could she really say these words in good conscience?
"I shall remain vigilant and unyielding…" but her voice stuck in her throat before she could say any more; her very being rebelling against the words with everything it had.
…in my pursuit of the enemies of the Coalition… intoned the rest of the crowd, voices filled with awed respect for what they probably saw as sacred words. Then Muse's tongue suddenly loosened as she came to an acceptable compromise… she would speak the Oath, and she would mean it.
But that didn't mean she had to say every single word…
"I will defend and maintain… life…"
…the order of life as it was proclaimed by the Allfathers of the Coalition in the Octus Canon… I will…
"I will…"
…forsake the life I had before so I may…
"Perform my duty as long as I am needed. Steadfast…"
…I shall hold my place in the machine and acknowledge my place in the Coalition…
"I am a Gear…"
The crowd fell silent again, and the Chairman smiled proudly over them all - Muse hoping he wouldn't notice her – before he finally said, in a loud, clear voice.
"I welcome you all, Gears of the COG!"
There was an answering roar as the new Gears cheered and applauded, thrusting fists into the air and whistling as they celebrated. Feeling sickened, Muse slipped away unnoticed.
Later, in the cafeteria, Muse mulled over her new station in life with trepidation. The fighting spirit inside her which she had come to know as Stray Dog, seemed to be already chaffing under a Gear collar, and Muse wondered if she had made the right decision to join up.
"Congratulations on becoming a Gear, Muse."
Muse looked up at the smiling voice, and found that none other than Lieutenant Anya Stroud had come to join her, sitting across the brushed metal table. She was beaming so widely that Muse couldn't help but smile faintly in return.
"Thanks."
"I couldn't find you before," Anya continued, "So here's your placement orders." Bemused, Muse took the offered envelope, and ripped it open, shaking out the folded papers within and skimming over them.
"I've… been placed in Delta Squad?" even though Hoffman had said that he would see to it that she was instated into Delta, Muse was still rather surprised he'd kept his promise.
"The Chairman lobbied against it," Anya told her, looking vaguely uncomfortable, "But Victor wouldn't have it. He said that either you were allowed to join Delta Squad or he'd promote you to Sergeant right there and then and give you command of your own men." A guilty smile tugged at the blonde's expression, "The Chairman didn't like that."
Muse's eyebrows were both arched in surprise. "I bet." She looked at the papers again and murmured under her breath; "Squad sniper and bodyguard of tech-officer Lieutenant Stroud." Muse frowned in confusion and looked up, "I'll be protecting you?" Anya seemed amused.
"Yes. Since the long range Tac-Coms are down, every squad has been assigned an Intell officer. I'm going to be Delta's."
"Aha…" Now that she mentioned it, Muse half remembered Hoffman saying something about it.
"So I was wondering…" the hesitant colour in Anya's tone made the other woman look at her curiously, "If you wanted to celebrate, we could go to a bar have a few drinks, you know, just us girls – if you aren't busy of course." She added quickly.
For a second Muse wondered if she'd heard the Lieutenant correctly, but then she realised that as one of the few women in the actual military aspect of the Coalition, Anya probably didn't have a lot of female friends. And the hopeful expression on her face reminded Muse so much of Amy… Besides, it was about time Muse took her own advice and stopped letting grief eat away at her, and start living.
A half smile twitched her lips.
"Alright, when d'you want to go?"
Anya grinned hugely, "Tonight? They've just set up a place that I've heard is pretty good."
"Alright." Muse nodded again.
It was only when Anya excused herself and got up to leave that Muse realised that she had no idea what "a girl's night out" actually involved, and she'd already agreed to go regardless.
"…Crud…"
* * *
Because it was such a rare occurrence for a female Gear to be permanently placed with a previously all-male squad, there was really no standard protocol dealing with where said female Gear would be bunked. As a result, Muse was still living in the single domicile she'd had before becoming a Gear, when Baird went to find her.
It'd been two days since their last encounter – he was still stiff from the shrapnel injury but was otherwise unhampered – and he'd only caught a glimpse of her at the Oathing ceremony earlier that day. Now he was determined to see her again, face to face, and internally argued with himself as he made his way to her quarters.
Half of him wondered what on Sera he was doing, since they hadn't exactly parted on good terms the last time. But that, the other half of his mind insisted, was exactly the reason why he should go and see her. They needed to patch the rift between them if they were going to be working together.
And he needed to make a couple of apologies.
Muse was mechanically organising her things when she heard the knock at the gunmetal-grey door to her room. Thinking it was Anya, she immediately went to answer it, but when she saw it was Baird, Muse froze and the blonde clearly saw her consider slamming the door in his face. He spoke before she had a chance too; choosing two words that would get her attention.
"I'm sorry."
Just as he'd thought, Muse's eyebrows went up as the mismatched eyes widened a fraction and she looked at him with an expression of astonishment and disbelief.
"…What?"
"Can I come in? I need to talk to you, in private." Muse frowned at him, and he could see the indecision warring on her expression, but then she stood aside, holding the door open and not meeting his gaze. She glared at the opposite wall though, apparently having gotten over the previous surprise.
She was obviously still angry with him.
Baird stepped into her quarters, and couldn't stop himself from wincing slightly as Muse slammed the door. She pushed past him and threw open the door of the locker against the wall, rummaging inside under the pretence of looking for something. Baird inwardly winced again as he was given the cold shoulder, and hesitated.
"Look, just say what you came to say so you can leave." Muse muttered, hating that even now something about Baird's presence affected her in ways she didn't understand. Baird remained quiet for a moment longer, then, in almost a whisper;
"I'm sorry about the whole kissing thing… back in the Stranded camp. I'm sorry it upset you." Muse's movements in the locker slowed to a halt, but she still didn't look at him.
"…But you're not sorry you did it."
"I never said that." Finally she met his gaze, one hand clutching the locker door so tightly that her knuckles were white.
"Well…?"
"I'm sorry for the reasons I did it… but I'm not sorry for actually kissing you…" Baird admitted.
There was a long, tense silence.
"I'm sorry for hurting you, Muse."
Muse looked away from him again, eyes closing briefly as an unidentifiable myriad of expressions played across her face. She wasn't ready to forgive him yet, but she didn't want to stay angry at him forever either… So instead of answering that she forgave him or didn't accept his apology, Muse instead replied simply;
"I know…" She opened her eyes and looked at the blonde. He looked a little disappointed, but he clearly understood. Then as if he'd suddenly remembered, Baird took a long, slim wrapped bundle that had been slung over his shoulder, and offered it too Muse.
"As a peace offering." He said in response to Muse's confused look. She took the bundle from him, and he stepped closer as she turned to unwrap it on the bed, watching her expression carefully when the contents was revealed.
Carefully wrapped in the bundle was a gleaming gun which appeared to be a Longshot sniper rifle that had been modified with Lancer parts. There was a grip beneath the nearer end of the long barrel, and slung underneath the blue sight was a cartridge for Lancer or Hammerburst rounds. With the gun was another smaller package, and inside this one was a cobbled together radio; the receiver like an old walkie-talkie with a small hand-held microphone speaker on a black curling wire.
It only took Muse a moment to realise that Baird must have made both the gun and radio himself, and a lump rose in her throat at the time and effort that must have gone into them. She looked at him. His expression was intent but neutral. "…Did you…?"
He nodded silently.
Indescribably touched, Muse swallowed and couldn't stop herself from putting her arms around his neck in a hug, her anger overwhelmed. Baird didn't hesitate in returning the gesture this time and held the woman close, maybe realising for the first time that whatever this was between the two of them, he was in way too deep to get out of it now…
…even if he'd wanted too.
Muse meanwhile could feel the barriers that she'd so painstakingly erected buckling under the weight of that unfamiliar and terrifying emotion that only Baird seemed to invoke. When she moved to pull away from the embrace and felt his unshaved stubble rasping against her cheek, it wasn't a wholly unpleasant sensation and made her suddenly very aware of how close he was. Then she realised that Baird wasn't actually letting go and she looked up at him while he looked back unfathomably. They were very close together…
Baird knew it was a stupid thing to do when he leaned down, but some other urge than common sense was guiding his actions and Muse wasn't making any move to retreat, almost as though intoxicated by the same feeling he was experiencing. Just before he could kiss her though, there was a sharp rapping on the door, and both sprang apart almost guiltily; the moment gone. Anya's voice came through the door.
"Muse? Ready to go yet?"
Panting for reasons that were beyond her, Muse swallowed and strove to keep the shaking from her voice as she called back in a desperately nonchalant tone;
"Not yet! I'll meet you at the cafeteria in ten, Anya!" There was a pause and for a horrible second Muse thought she hadn't been able to mask her hammering heart and sweating palms, but then Anya answered in a tone that said she'd noticed nothing out of the ordinary;
"Alright, I'll see you in ten minutes." They clearly heard her walking away down the hall.
Baird let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, then looked at Muse again. She was breathing shallowly and a blushing heat was rising up her neck in embarrassment. He cleared his throat, feeling somewhat embarrassed himself for so completely losing his head for a minute, and rubbed the back of his neck.
"I'll – er – just go." He turned to leave.
"Damon…" His name spilled out as though without Muse's volition, but Baird glanced back anyway. She was looking at him now, even though painfully awkward and uncomfortable. "…Thanks." The word was laden with unspoken thoughts and emotions, but neither of them were ready to address those, and so Baird merely replied to the spoken word by nodding once before leaving.
Muse sank onto the bed beside the Longshot and radio he'd made for her, and took a deep, steadying breath which she let out slowly.
So much for keeping out the feelings she didn't understand…
* * *
Baird had trouble putting the incident out of his thoughts for the rest of the evening; a corner of his mind constantly dwelling on what if.
What if Anya hadn't interrupted right at that crucial moment?
What if Muse hadn't already planned with her to have a girl's night out?
What if…?
Even when Cole convinced the other three male members of Delta Squad – Clay hadn't been around much lately as he'd had the unenviable task of sorting out the formalities for his dead squad-mates - that it would be a good idea to get out of base and go for a few drinks, and they found themselves at a bar-slash-club where loud raucous music pulsed amongst some primitive strobe lights. Damon Baird's mind was too filled with a certain dark-haired woman and what hadn't happened between them, to pay much attention.
Until he bumped into Marcus and Dom who'd stopped dead at the door.
"What the hell are you two waiting for?" he growled; more annoyed at himself for being too preoccupied to notice they'd stopped, rather than at them for stopping in the first place. "Are we just going to stand outside, or are we going in?" When he finally got into the bar himself though, Baird discovered exactly what had caused the other two to pause.
Half of the floor space had been put aside for a dancefloor which was being made good use of by a crowd of people, but the other half was arrayed with round tables lit by short fat candles in round glass tubs and a couple of pool tables. Anya Stroud was leaning against one of the game table's ends, laughing delightedly as a rather disgruntled looking Gear forked over a roll of cash to a grinning Muse who was leaning a pool cue.
Muse, grinning. It was almost as if Baird's entire world had shrunk down to encompass that one fact. Muse happy, Muse laughing.
Just Muse herself…
Even as he watched, she stuffed the roll of money into the back pocket of the jeans she was wearing, and as if only just really noticing, Baird took in the rest of her. Her hair had been pulled back into a neat braid and she wasn't wearing her usual combats-and-vest getup, but rather a red tee-shirt that seemed just a little too small – not that he was complaining about the flash of skin it offered and the way it clung to her frame – and low-slung blue jeans. Baird momentarily wondered where she'd gotten them from, but then put it down to Anya and the general mystical ability women seemed to have when producing something to go out in. Maybe they had been what Muse had been looking for when she'd rummaged in her locker to avoid looking at him.
Baird was suddenly aware of Cole hiding a smirk and, following the black Gear's gaze to Marcus, suddenly understood completely. So, this whole trip had just been some scheme of Cole's to get Marcus and Anya in the same place, had it? He was probably the one that mentioned the club to Anya as well. Baird breathed an inward sigh of relief and immediately wondered why he'd been so anxious that this had somehow been aimed at himself and Muse.
As if they could ever possibly be a couple…
Meanwhile Muse and Anya had left the pool games and taken one of the shadowy round tables. Anya had a bottle of beer and Muse was drinking something white and creamy-looking in a short, wide glass with lots of ice in it. Cole was the first to go towards them, bellowing greetings over the loud music with Dom and Marcus in tow; Marcus still looking a little disconcerted by being presented with a casual Anya having a good time, but Dom grinning massively – probably for the same reason, and just for the fact Muse appeared to be enjoying herself for a change. Taking a breath, Baird followed.
"Hey! Muse, Anya, baby!"
The two girls looked up at the familiar shout; Anya waved, beaming hugely, while Muse raised her glass and smirked slightly in greeting as the four original members of Delta Squad joined them, pulling chairs around their table. Baird could tell that she'd picked up on Cole's scheme, and felt a strange sort of warmth blossom in his chest that she was competent enough to have seen it too.
Trying to appear natural, he dropped into the chair beside hers.
"Hey guys," Anya said, her cheeks a little more flushed then they had been a minute ago – Marcus had taken the chair closest to hers, "What are you doing here?" No-one missed the special smile she threw at the grizzled Sergeant, except maybe the Gear himself.
"Cole suggested we come out for drinks, he brought us here." Baird said, though he aimed the statement at Muse who was looking at him curiously. He had to physically stop his gaze from roaming over this new and rather alluring woman he was now faced with – justifying his interest by mentally insisting that it was just a male thing to notice an attractive woman… even if she did have scars and oddly coloured eyes. His mind almost stopped altogether when she smiled vaguely at him.
"First round on me, then." Muse said, and called over one of the waitresses.
"Did you win all of that?" Dom asked incredulously when their drinks came and Muse brought out a wad of cash.
"What? Oh, yeah," She grinned, "You Gear guys can't seem to understand how a girl can beat you at pool."
Cole guffawed; "Oh I believe it! You whooped that guy's ass when we came in! How much did you win for that?" Muse grinned at him.
"Two hundred."
Cole laughed again and clapped a hand on her shoulder, "Man, I love this kid!"
The evening continued in a similar fashion; the members of Delta talking and laughing amongst themselves, while returning to the bar occasionally for refills. Baird, remembering what Muse had said about what alcohol was used for in the old Stranded camp, finally asked what it was she was drinking.
"I thought you didn't do alcohol."
"What? This?" Muse shook the glass slightly and grinned, "Sorry to disappoint you, D, but there's no alcohol involved. Want to try it?"
At first the blonde Gear protested – though he didn't miss how she'd called him by an affectionate nickname - but finally gave in when Muse teased him of being too boring to try anything new. He was surprised when the taste of cream and vanilla flowed over his tongue, a faint aftertaste of chocolate following a moment later. It was cold, exotic, and delicious, and Muse chuckled softly at his expression. "Not bad, eh?" Baird gave her a rueful smile in answer.
"Not bad."
Just then they were joined by the last member of the squad; a rather depressed Clay Carmine. After finally finishing all that needed to be done for his dead men, the Corporal just needed something to distract him for a few hours, and a couple of stiff drinks. When he sat down with the others of Delta Squad around the now rather packed table, that was exactly what he got.
At first no one said anything, not really knowing what to say. But then Marcus, ever the one to surprise those around him when he showed the depth of his understanding and compassion, gently clapped the other Gear of the shoulder and made him drink a shot of hard liquor.
Understanding what his old friend was up too, Dom followed his example and had the waitress bring over a shot glass for every person at the table, filled with an amber-coloured spirit. Muse surprised Baird when she took her glass without comment, but then, some things didn't need explaining.
Silence reigned at the table as Marcus began to speak, and even Cole was quiet and serious.
"We've all lost something to war." His eyes moved around the table, meeting every person's gaze, "Some, more than others." Here he paused as everyone around the table grew still, thinking of their loved ones taken by the horrors of war.
Marcus thought of his parents, but found his mind drawn more to thoughts of his best friend and blood brother, Carlos Santiago. Dom remembered his family; parents, brother, wife and children, all of whom he hadn't been able to save. Anya thought on her mother, Helena Stroud, and the memories of hearing her die but being forced to carry on regardless or risk more loss of life. Clay remembered his men and the missions they had completed together; the ties of brotherhood that had bound them.
And Muse remembered all those over the years whom she had failed to protect. All those whose deaths she had been forced to witness. She remembered Jessica and Dominic Burrows, and how happy they had been together before the Locust…
Marcus continued.
"But their losses will not be in vain. It will be their memories we carry with us when we begin to rebuild, and their sacrifice that will be remembered by those who come after us."
It was short, but to the point. Typical Marcus. He raised his glass and the others around the table followed suit, all of them knocking back the shot of liquor in memory of their fallen. The tension and cloud of misery that hung over them, seemed to magically disappear. They shared smiles.
Their loved ones were gone. But they would never be forgotten.
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Author's Note
The fic! It liiiiives! Ahem. Anyway. I do believe that this chapter is the longest one to date – and to think that originally it was combined with the next chapter too – and probably the last one I'll get in before November as NaNoWriMo is once again upon us! Good luck to everyone who is participating this year, and I'll see you on the other side.
You can see a render of the aforementioned modified Longshot at the following address.
http : SLASH SLASH i16 DOT photobucket DOT com SLASH albums SLASH b16 SLASH LoboDiabloLoneWolf SLASH Randoms SLASH
And just to clarify and clear up any confusion about the last chapter.
Both Red Team and Blue Team had five recruits each (including Muse on Blue Team). Four of the combined ten were killed on the way to the bridge, but no more were killed in the ensuing battle. At this point it looks like both Shaun and Riley survived.
Thanks to 31Pm for pointing out the inconsistencies. :)
Anonymous Reviewers
general andrew: …You think it's awesome, obviously. XD Yay! It's awesome that you find it awesome! Ahem. :D More awesomeness on the way!
Danilacus: Lol, sorry, but that comment about Muse being a player – I laughed so hard. Ahem. I don't think it's a matter of choosing exactly, I mean, to Muse, Dom represents family. Someone she can talk too, confide in, someone she feels familiar and safe with – like she did with her own father. Baird… well, he's something new, she's not sure what he is to her quite yet, but she will. Anyway, glad the change of pace wasn't too jarring and hopefully the next chapter will be just as enjoyable. PS. Dan Abnett is a god of 40K writing. XD
