Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door
Chapter 35: The Major of the Majors
"I'm still cheesed that we didn't get the party…" Spike complained the next morning.
"Heh, "cheesed"-"
"Not funny!"
Sonic then walked into the room, looking confident as ever. "Are you ready to take on Hamma, Bamma, and Flare again Spike?"
Spike punched the air. "Sure am! It's about time I get my fighting magic back!"
Sonic rolled his eyes and headed back to the terminal. The condition was to pull three stylish moves.
"No problem!"
In the battle after the long introduction-
"Look! Who let the rat out?" sneered Bamma.
"Who let that joke out of the lame department?"
"Just get on with the fight…"
Sonic started off with Action Chain, hitting each bro three times before missing. Spike trotted up, swallowed Hamma, and spat him into Flare, defeating them both. Bamma gulped.
"Hahahahaha! Sorry 'bout the lame crack…um…"
He chucked his boomerang at both of them, the duo guarding the attack both hits. Bamma sweat dropped when Spike floated above him with a smirky grin.
"Dahhhhhhh!!"
"Have a pound or five punk!"
Bamma cried out as soon as he was defeated, Sonic and Spike sharing a high five.
"We have a winner! The Blue Blur! Looks like that last fight put the gain in the pain…or somefin' like that…"
Major Leagues-
"NOW we're in the third rank!" Spike exclaimed with a slight pout. Sonic patted him.
"So we don't get to party- I'm sure they'll be another chance in the future!"
"Isn't that the truth!" put in Link. "So…are you guys going to fight again? I'm dying to find out who's ranked 2nd!"
"Let's see…" As Sonic headed to the terminal, Mario, who had been watching, suddenly answered his SP with a message for him and Sonic. He motioned for the hedgehog and Link read it aloud.
This is your last warning! Stop snooping about for the Crystal Star! If you don't, you'll suffer the same fate as the others who've gone missing…
Sonic twitched. "I knew we were the next victims!"
"Don't panic Sonic!" Link ordered. "…that's my job!"
"How does anyone even know we were snooping?" Koops wondered. "He really seems to know a whole lot of stuff…those missing fighters…the Crystal Star…"
"You know, if we find this guy, we'll have all the answers!" Spike pointed out.
"But who could it be?"
"Oh, the mystery…" mused Sonic. "Maybe we'll find out after this match…"
"Well boy howdy Big Blue! Fixin' fer a fight huh? Lemme just see…yer next opponent will be…ranked 2 in the Glitz Pit…Chomp Country! Now listen son: I want you to win BEFORE you take 20 HP of pain! We don't wanna see you win by the skin of your teeth like last time! Now get out there and show some grit, pard!"
Sonic snapped his fingers. "Ha! This'll be…"
Jolene suddenly opened the door, with something in her hand.
"…a piece of cake?!"
"Pardon me, Mr. Blur. Another gift arrive from one of your admirers. I'll just leave it over here if that's okay? Do with it what you will."
…and she was gone. Sonic smacked his lips, along with Spike, Link, and Goombella, and marched up to it.
"Wow, that's looks pretty darn good!"
"Can we have some?" asked Goombella.
Sonic shrugged. "I don't care."
Link jumped into the air with a shout of yes and ate half the cake in one bite. No one objected to it though, and Sonic, Spike, and Goombella divided up what was left.
"To a good battle!" Sonic said, cake raised for a toast. Goombella and Spike laughed.
"This is gonna be so good…"
"GURK!" Link choked before collapsing onto the floor, grabbing his throat. Goombella gulped and placed the cake back on the table.
"On second thought…I'm not really hungry…"
"Link! What the-" Spike gasped, running to his side. Sonic was poking him and asking what was wrong.
"This cake is so good it feels like my body's going numb…"
"Numb? What…" Sonic started, trying to get Link to get up. Link twitched but nothing more.
"That's not good…" Koops gulped.
"Maybe he ate too much cake too fast?" suggested Goombella. Sonic picked up his piece and had Spike sniff it. Spike recoiled and wrinkled his nose.
"Something is definitely off about that…" he gagged. Suddenly the guard appeared, ready to take them to the ring.
"But my friend's been paralyzed by a cake!" Sonic wailed.
"Tough luck. We gotta go. The house is packed!"
"Don't worry Sonic- Mario can handle Link. By the time you get back I bet he'll be feeling better!" Goombella confirmed. Flurrie suddenly burst out of the bathroom.
"My little Link is paralyzed! Good heavens!"
"NOW she cares…" muttered Link. "Good luck…"
Sonic winced. "Man, this is the second bad thing that's happened to you here!"
"But if you didn't let him eat the cake you'd be paralyzed!" Koops pointed out.
"I'd actually rather have that…" Sonic grumbled while walking to the match.
The Ring-
"Fer our next battle, we have the fastest thing alive, your Priority One Hedgehog, the Blue Blur…and The Red Ore Fear Orbs…yep a fight to the finish with Chomp Country!"
"ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF!!!!" the red chomps barked.
"Bring it!" dared Spike.
"Get yerselves ready to BAAAATTLE!"
Gong!
"Okay Spike! We should be able to take them out pretty easily. You swallow, and I'll finish them off!" Sonic explained. He hit the first Chomp with a Spin Dash, only doing one, then Spike followed up with a Gulp that knocked it out and also taking one from the second Chomp. The remaining Chomp bounced around.
"Hurry up and-YOW!!"
The Chomp lashed forward, biting Sonic on the nose. While Sonic rubbed it, Spike gulped the Chomp and spat it into the wall, defeated.
"I knew it was a piece of cake!" Sonic scoffed.
Locker Room-
"Link are you alive!?!" Sonic shouted as soon as he ran in. Link was sitting on the bench with Mario, perfectly fine.
"Hi! I'm feeling okay now…but good to see you took care of business anyway!"
Sonic struck a pose. "Of course…"
"Still…a poisoned cake…" Koops pondered.
"Somebody obviously wanted me, and maybe all of us, out of the picture…" Sonic confirmed. "We'd better watch our steps."
"Right!" Link agreed. Mario nodded. Spike suddenly realized something.
"Hey Big Blue…we're in the second rank now! One more battle and we'll be number one!"
"…and we'll have a shot at the Champ!" Sonic finished.
Goombella started dancing. "Well what are you waiting for? Sign up for a match and get ready to own!"
Sonic wasted no time in getting back to the action- number one Koopinator was up next! The Koopinator in the background glared menacingly with his beady red eyes.
"……………………………....................................You. How dare you interfere with my meditation? Time is too precious to squander on one such as you."
"Ha! You should be honored that you even get a chance to fight me!"
Koopinator rolled his eyes. "That is what you think. I'd be honored to fight someone higher than me, not lower."
"You were owned by a chicken!" Link butted in, pointing a finger. "Did you see your face? You were all "Ow! WAH!"
The Koopinator blinked. "……..and you're about to be "pwned" by a turtle."
"-and you're about to be…Qwned by a hedgehog!"
"Qwned?"
"It fit the pattern."
"Mr. Blue. Mr. Koopinator. Match time bubs."
Sonic and Koopinator had a stare down on the way out the door.
The Match-
"You. Finally, I get a piece of you. Finally, we'll see who's truly stronger."
Link whistled. "Man-he reminds me of Shadow!"
Sonic took a look at the Koopinator's helmet and sighed.
"Aw man…he's spiky! I can't hit Spiky enemies!"
"Looks like we're using FP…" sighed Spike.
Sonic turned to the audience. "You guys supply some Honey Syrup all right?"
Everyone gave a thumbs up. Sonic nodded.
"All right then…we're kickin' this fight off with Whirlwind!"
Sonic zoomed around the Koopinator, sending him into the air and slamming back down to the floor. But thanks to his defense of 2, the attack only did 4 damage instead of 6.
"Curse Koopas and their shells!"
Spike struck his opponent with his tongue, gulping him and spitting him out.
"You dare to call that a move? I call it repulsive!" Koopinator complained, cleaning himself off. Spike shrugged.
"You dare to call yourself a fighter? I call you a wimpola!"
Link hooted in the audience. "That's a good one! Better write it down…"
The Koopinator grunted. "I'll show you how much of a wimpola I am-"
"I think you've shown enough already!" cackled Sonic.
Koopinator retreated into his shell and plowed into Sonic and Spike, taking five HP from both of them.
"He must've learned that from Shellshock!"
"But he wasn't on his back…"
Sonic gulped in realization that he underestimated his foe and used Whirlwind once more. As soon as he finished, he got down on the ground in a blur of break dancing-and dang he was good!
The crowd stood up and clapped for Sonic.
"That's right Sonic!"
"Annihilate the Koopinat…or!"
"That was epic fail…"
"I know…"
Link tossed a Maple Syrup to Spike, which he drank instantly. Koopinator swung into the two again, Sonic regular guarding and Spike super guarding, though it didn't damage him.
"How I wish he didn't have a spike…" Sonic groaned while Whirlwinding again. Spike rummaged through their item bag.
"Let's see…hey! A Thunder Bolt!"
Koopinator was stuck by lightning, but instead of five only gave him 3 HP worth of pain.
"Curse his slightly cool-looking armor!"
"Not so wimpola now, am I?" he smirked, flying into them again with another devastating five-hit attack. Spike cringed and fell down.
"Curse me and my only 10 HP…" Spike moaned.
"no! not again…Koops! I need you!"
Goombella helped Spike off the stage and Koops climbed up. "Cool! I get to fight with Sonic! Are you going to Sonic Boom him like you did with Flurrie?"
Sonic shook his head. "No…but MAN he needs to get some more HP!"
"I could talk Link into giving you all the Shine Sprites we have so far…then you could level him up and you'll be able to fight without problems!"
"But…"
"He's still only a few days old Sonic. Spike can only do so much-even if he is bursting with confidence, smack-talk, and downright awesomeness."
Sonic grinned. "You're right…"
"Looks like the baby needed a nap. Are you going to fight or can I take my turn?" Koopinator yawned. Sonic scowled and strolled up to him.
"You wanna know something?"
"What?"
Sonic kicked him straight in the jaw, similar to what he did to Mario, only with more pain and force. It took 3 HP away, and managed to knocked him over. Sonic put one foot on him and glared into his red eyes, now burning with slight fear.
"That Yoshi is anything but a baby, no matter how old he may be. Age isn't a factor when it comes to fighting. How old are you, exactly?"
He heard the Koopinator gulp. Someone in the audience randomly shouted "45!" but that was probably just a guess, after all. Sonic smirked and stepped off him, now that the spikes in his shell were stuck in the floorboards. Koopinator struggled to get up, but was truly failing.
"What the-?! You set me up punk! That is a low blow for a fighter and-"
"-You just stay put so I can win this. Hit him, Koops."
"Yes sir!"
Koops slammed his shell into the Koopinator, now with his defense lowered. Koopinator saw the look on Sonic's face and frantically tried to get free before his turn was skipped.
"Too slow, turtle!" Sonic jumped into the air and rapidly spun into a ball.
"Hasta la vista!" Link shouted from the audience.
Sonic crashed down onto the Koopinator's stomach, making him grab his gut before falling limp onto the stage.
"We have a winner! The Blue Blurrrrr!"
"Looks like we know who's better now!" Sonic stated smugly while giving a victory pose.
"Glad I could help!" Koops cheered. "Now you'll be up against the champ!"
Major League-
Spike blinked his eyes open and grabbed his head before realizing he was in a bed-again.
"Aw…did I get knocked out AGAIN!?" he shouted. "Let me guess-we still won."
Sonic nodded "You'd better believe it."
"Sorry I keep-"
"Don't apologize-I think it's my fault! Next time, I'll keep a watch on your HP, and make sure you don't push too hard or anything until-"
"But Rawk Hawk is up next!" Spike exclaimed, with somewhat excitement.
"How are you going to prevent Spike from passing out AND take out the bulk that is Rawk Hawk?" questioned Link.
"The battle would drag on, but I'd make sure Spike stays alive!"
"As in not dead?!"
"You know what I mean-able to attack and move and breathe!"
"I know, I know-just messin' with ya!"
Mario's pocket began to vibrate, and he checked the newest message on his SP. Everyone gathered around.
Remove the Great Gonzales poster in the lobby
From X
"Sweet! More X mystery…"
In the lobby-
"Hey! Check this one of me out!" Sonic stated, talking about a picture of him giving a thumbs up with a blurry green background and a lightning bolt coming out of the top right corner.
"That's Link green! They gave me a little shout out!" Link stated proudly.
"Looks a bit…tacky-"
"TACKY?!"
"Well, maybe not…but I do like Mario's a bit more."
"Everyone is a critic."
Mario did what he came here to do- take down his own poster on the left side of Sonic's. Using Flurrie to blow it away, a key suddenly fell from where it had once been.
"Whatever could that key be for?" wondered Flurrie.
"Cool! What's behind Sonic's?" Goombella wondered, getting ready to tear it down. Sonic karate chopped her away.
"We're only here to take down Mario's poster-not mine. No touchie."
"…okay then…"
Now that they had the key, X sent them another message.
Go to the second floor of the storage room.
From X
"Oh yeah…wasn't there a locked door in there?" Link mused.
"Poor souls upstairs…" Sonic muttered to no one in particular.
Second Floor of storage room-
"Are you ready? Let's bust this door wide open!" Spike urged. Mario nodded and stuck the key in the door, and the lock fell. He pushed it open, and everyone stepped inside.
"So far so good…" Sonic trailed. "Spike, you'll need to fly Mario across those crates though."
Spike was already standing on one. "I'm on it!" Mario sat on him. "Oooh…and he's on me…"
Sonic bounced off the wall and landed on the other side with Goombella, Link managed to climb over-and fell onto the floor, and Flurrie grabbed Koops and carried him over.
"Wow something smells rank man!" Spike choked, grabbing his nose.
"It's probably behind that giant yellow block…"
"Break it Mario!"
Mario twisted himself like paper, then slammed his hammer into the block, shattering it to pieces. What was behind the block was probably going to scar the gang for life.
"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA!!!" everyone wailed at the sight of King K and Bandy Andy lying practically dead on the floor, flies fluttering around the powerless bodies.
"You gotta be kidding me!" yelped Spike.
"How did this happen?!" Sonic asked even though no one knew the answer. He bent down to King K and tried to get him to come to.
"Ooooooogg…" came from Bandy Andy. Link headed over to him and poked him.
"Gon…Gon…Gonzales…Blue…Listen to me…URK!…man…Don't…get…near…the…ring…when…no…one…is…around…Ooooohhhh…"
And he went unconscious.
"C'mon! Shake it off buddy! What do you mean don't go near the ring?" Spike questioned.
"Poor souls…" repeated Sonic.
"How did Ms. Mowz even get into this room?" Link wondered.
"She has her ways…" sighed Koops.
"I'm think we should-"
"JOLENE!"
Everyone hurdled over the crates (except Mario who was assisted by Sonic) to see Jolene quickly slam the door.
"This is insane! What is going ON here?!" shouted Spike.
"What do we do now though?" Link asked. "X hasn't told us to do anything else!"
"We could watch the fight against the champion…" Spike hinted with a grin.
"How am I supposed to fight when I know people are in pain and dying in a storage room?" Sonic inquired.
"We can't help them until we find the Crystal Star, and so far our best chance is you becoming the Champion!" Link explained, putting a hand on his best friend's shoulder.
"but the Star on the belt isn't even the real one!"
"It's still here, isn't it?"
Sonic nodded.
"You're our best shot! Besides, you'll be able to claim your sought after title!"
"You can do it Sonic!"
"…and when it's all over, we'll have help to assist the missing fighters!"
Sonic smiled. "Okay…time for me to fight the champion! You guys go get good seats, and I'll sign up for the match."
Everyone wished Sonic good luck, and they went their separate ways.
Major League-
"Hurruhurryhurryhurryhuryhurry HURRY!" demanded Spike.
"Calm down and give me a chance to hit the button! Sheesh!"
"The Blue Blur! Howdy! Fixin' for a fight huh? Hyuk hyuk hyk! Well, guess what? Your next match is…THE TITLE MATCH!"
"Aw yeah!" Spike belted out. "epic win!"
"Hoooooo-WEEEEE! Darn tootin'! You're up against the champ, Rawk Hawk! Now, I wanna see a fair and exciting match so don't you let me down, now, you hear? You'd better pull of five stylish moves son ya hear? The crowd needs somefin' flashy, you catch my drift? Give 'em a good show. Now get out there and blow the roof off son!"
Sonic and Spike started dancing around, spinning across the floor. "We're gonna fight Rawk Hawk! Oh yeah! Uh huh! We're gonna own him-and become the champs!"
The escort arrived, motioning for Sonic and Spike. The two stopped dancing and obediently followed. He started going the wrong way, and Spike instantly got suspicious.
"Hold up dude! Where're you heading? That ain't the way to the arena!"
The guard swallowed a nervous chuckle and tried to keep him composure. Sonic raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, uh, you go this way this time 'cause it's a special match…" he explained.
"I don't trust you…" Sonic stated simply, yet still followed. The halls were still and quiet, giving the fighters a strange chill.
"Hey hold it meathead! This doesn't seem right…" Spike snapped. The guard kept going. Sonic and Spike gave a nod to each other, and just before they turned to run off, the guard opened a door and ushered them in.
"Um, why are we in the old Minor League locker room? It's even worse than the current one!"
"You two wait here."
The guard left without another word.
"That guy said to wait…but we're missing our title bout! This stinks!" yelled Spike. Sonic glanced at the door and bared his canine teeth.
"It was a trap…" he seethed silently.
-----
"I so totally can't wait for this match!" Goombella exclaimed.
"Neither can I! Rawk Hawk is going to get what he deserves!" added Link.
"It's beginning! Shush!" a Koopa grunted next to him.
"It's a fight! We're supposed to be loud!"
"Now fer today's main event! The top dog of the major league…the Blue Blur… is finally gonna throw down with the champ! The one, the only…RAWK HAWK! First to enter the ring…the Feral Nuclear Reactor…RAAAAAAWK HAWWWWWWK!"
"BOO!" shouted Link, chucking a rock at Rawk before he had a chance to fully enter the door. Rawk shook a random fist, then continued onto the stage.
"YOU GO CHAMP!"
"RAAWK HIM!"
"EEEEEEEE!"
"(insert fourth comment I was unable to read)"
"Hoo DOGGIES! Champ! How're you feelin' son? Yer challenger's a handful!" Grubba exclaimed as soon as Rawk Hawk was firm on stage.
"He don't want a handful of THIS! Unh-uh! There's only one champ…and it's ME!" Rawk boated. "Even if this Blue Blur wuss ever shows up, what's he gonna do huh? NOTHING!"
"What does he mean by if he ever shows up?" Link asked slowly.
"But the Blue Blur made it to the top of the leagues faster than anyone, ever!"
"Well he IS the fastest thing alive!" Goombella pointed out.
"He even got up there faster than YOU, Champ! What you got to say about that?"
"What do I have to say? PBBBBBTTTTHHH!! THAT'S what! Who cares what this guy did to a bunch of chumps?!? 'cause now he gets RAWKED!"
Team Mario scowled darkly.
-----
"Ego sense is tingling…"
"Ok, that's it! Nobody's coming for us, man! Hear me? Let's go kick some tail!" Spike ordered. He, obviously cheesed off, turned the handle on the door.
"AWWWWWWWW…WEAK! Some punk's trapped us in! We're trapped in here!"
"I knew it…"
------
"And now fer our challenger…your Priority One Hedgehog…The BLUE BLUR!!!"
Mario's team started going wild with cheers, until they realized Sonic didn't come through the doors. Link grunted and glared at Rawk Hawk.
"…hold the phone folks! What the hey's going on? What happened to the Blue Blur?!?!"
"We're gonna die in here!"
"Get a grip man!"
"I'll tell you what happened! He fears the RAWWWWK!"
"You wish turkey!" Link shouted, throwing another rock at him.
"Knock it off Link!"
"Don't you mean…RAWK/ROCK it off?"
"This is so not the time for that…"
"Hoo-WEE! What a stupefying' development folks! Did the Blue Blur really turn yella and head for the hills like a dog?!?"
"The only time he'd be turning yellow is to go Super Sonic and kick your a$$!"
"Using dollar signs?"
"It was Koops, not me. He's a wimp, remember?"
"HEY!"
"I tell you what folks… if he don't show soon, he's a-gonna forfeit the match!"
bla bla, early chapter, bla no other time this week, review bla bla bla...Okay! Next week we see some final action, and the week after that...BOSS WEEKEND! Finally! :D