"…and he has a little dimple in his cheek when he smiles, and when he smiles… it's like everything in the whole world is okay," Phil described as he sat cross legged on Aaron's sofa,
"So you guys are really serious?" Aaron asked, grabbing a second slice of the pizza they'd ordered for the night,
"Yeah… He's so special… I don't know why he loves me, I just don't understand why he would and I feel like now…"
"You're special too, Phillip," he looked him dead in the eyes,
"Did you… did you just call me Phillip?" Phil smiled,
"Yeah, is that okay?"
"Yeah," Phil looked at Aaron, "it is. I just… after this, Dan will never want me back."
"Please don't look so sad, here, have a drink," Aaron handed his wine glass to Phil, "If Dan doesn't want you back, he's an idiot." Phil took a sip of the red wine as Aaron poured another one for himself,
"I'm an idiot…" Phil trailed off, downing the rest of the drink, Aaron looked at him with wide eyes and refilled his glass,
"No, you're not,"
"No, I am. I really am. Look at me. I screwed things up with Dan. Last time I drank, I got this thing tattooed on my freaking neck," Phil pointed to his choker tattoo, "I haven't spoken to my mum since Christmas day, and anyone else in my family was long before then,"
"Hey, it's okay, we all let up on things sometimes, and we all make mistakes…" the brown haired man told him,
"No, I don't think you understand! My mum means the world to me! I'm wrecking things with everyone I care about!"
"Wait, wait. What happened with your family, you never told me,"
"I told them I was gay! No one's spoken to me since except my mum, and I feel like I'm drifting away from her too… Everyone one is leaving me, and it's all my own fault!" Phil gulped down a little over half of the wine in his newly refilled glass, and bit his lip to distract himself from the pain in his chest.
"I'm sorry…" Aaron said solemnly, brushing Phil's hair out of his eyes so that he could see them better, "but you know what? I'm here for you, and I'm not going anywhere, okay?" Phil nodded and opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by the vibration of his phone in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the screen, "Incoming Call: Dan Howell".

Dan paced up and down the kitchen, it was a small space so it felt like he was really just walking in circles. He'd tried to call Phil a dozen times and there was no answer. It was the second night that Phil hadn't come home, and while the night before he had felt ready to work things out, now he was just pissed off. No contact. For two days. Where the hell was he? What gave him the right to make Dan worry like this? What in the fuck made him think that his actions were okay?! Dan stopped and pulled out his phone for what felt like the gazillionth time that weekend and hit Phil's face with his thumb, bringing up his contact page and calling him, and then it happened. He picked up.
"…Dan?" Phil's voice shook,
"Phil?" Dan sounded shocked,
"Yeah…"
"Can you talk?" Dan asked,
"Yeah…"
"Okay, good. Where in the absolute fuck are you?! Where have you been?! What the hell is going on?! Were you planning on filling me in?! Huh?! Were you?!" Dan blared, "You've been gone for two fucking days! TWO DAYS, PHIL! Is this your way of breaking up with me?! Not coming home and leaving me to worry and wonder if I still have a boyfriend?!"
"I'm sorry… I didn't know… I don't know what I'm doing…" Phil faulted,
"Where. The fuck. Are you?!" Dan said slowly, sounding like a concerned parent.
"I'm with my friend…"
"The 'friend' you were secretly texting and shit?"
"Well… yes, but-" Phil was cut off,
"How could you, Phil?" Dan sounded hurt now,
"Nothing's happening! We're just friends!"
"Then why was he a secret? Why wouldn't you tell me?!" Dan demanded.
"Because…"
"Because WHY?!"
"Because we kissed. I kissed him. I was drunk, and hurt, and we weren't together then, you and I. You didn't love me, and I got this fucking tattoo, and then… and then we kissed. A lot. Aaron and I stayed in contact and stuff, and I told him when you and I got together… We're friends. I told him I wanted to be just friends and he hasn't tried anything since. Besides, I'm a grown man, Dan. I'm almost 28. I can handle myself," Phil calmly explained. Dan was quite for a moment…
"You said you'd only kissed me. No other guys. You said you didn't want to kiss anyone else…"
"I know I said that, and I meant it. I honestly didn't remember it, at all. Aaron sent me a video of it from his phone. I'm sorry, Dan. We weren't together, but I just… I didn't want to hurt you," Phil whispered into his phone, suddenly feeling a little light headed after finishing his 5th drink.
"I understand… It's alright, Phil. I'm sorry too…" Dan waited for a response, "Phil?"
"What? Yeah, I'm, um, thanks," Phil slurred,
"Phil, you're, um… are you okay?" Dan asked, hearing a crash in the background, "Where are you?"
"I'm okay, I think I'll come home."
"Really? How are you getting here?"
"I think I want to go for a walk. I'm going to talk home,"
"Okay… but Phil, just remember to-" Dan was cut off by 3 beeps indicating that Phil had hung up.

It had been 3 hours since Phil had told Dan he was coming home and he was getting worried. Again.
"Jesus, Phil… Where are you?" he muttered, tidying up the house as he waited. He looked at the time and it was 11pm, Dan pulled out his phone and called Phil again, but there was no answer. He tried again as he walked down the stairs and out of the flat, heading toward the street. He turned left as he walked down the pavement, Phil always turned left when he exited the building; it was a habit. His pace quickened as he walked further and further, eventually losing track of what directions he'd taken but something was urging him to keep walking through the dark. He called Phil again, noticing that it had been half an hour since his last attempt, once again there was no answer.

"Phil, where are you?" Dan texted him, continuing his search,
"Phil? I'm really worried…" he messaged him again, checking the time. It was midnight. He should have contacted him by now. Dan had absolutely no idea where he was or where he was going, and something in the back of his mind, probably the voice of logic and reason, told him to go home because there was no chance of finding him out there.
"Are you okay? Phil?" he sent again, feeling the warm sensation of tears running down his face. Bad things always happened when they fought, ALWAYS. Dan looked around and noted how empty and quiet the street was, searching for a street sign, but there was none.
"Phil? I'm scared…" he pressed send and looked up at the sky. It was so dark, clouds covered the stars and the waxing moon, and he could barely see anything when it started to rain. He pulled his jacket up over his head and kept walking in the opposite direction to where he'd come from. After a while he stopped again, trying to figure out where he was, but the rain was too hard and the night was too dark. He unlocked his phone, trying to avoid getting it wet, it was 1am. He'd been walking about London for two hours.
"PHIL?!" he texted, minimizing the app and calling Chris in hopes that he was still awake.

"Dan, what are you doing out here? When you said to come and get you from this street corner, I figured you were at a party or something and couldn't get home," Chris questioned Dan as he slid into the car, "Are you crying? Jesus… What the hell is going on?"
"Chris… Phil and I had a fight, and I haven't seen him in two days and I called him and he finally answered and we talked things out… Everything was going to be okay, Chris!" Dan freaked out,
"Okay, so why have you been out in the rain, in the middle of the night, in an unfamiliar suburb for hours?"
"Because Phil said he was coming home… He should have been home at 9 at the latest! It's almost 2am and he's still not picking up! He didn't come home, so I went out to look for him, and I don't know where he is, so I just kept going and going and I couldn't find him and I don't know what to, Chris!"
"Okay, okay… Just take a deep breath, okay?" Chris said, adjusting the speed of the windshield wipers, Dan breathed in and choked on his tears a little like a child.
"Where was he, Dan?" Chris asked after a few moment,
"He was with another guy. It's why we were fighting. I thought… I thought was cheating on me. His name's Aaron, I think,"
"Why would you think that?"
"He was secretly texting and calling him and… they kissed. I mean, it was after I messed around with him and before we got together, but he said… he said they kissed A LOT, and we both know that means more than just kissing, Chris!" Dan sobbed,
"Then why was he there today?" Chris asked him, genuinely curious,
"He went to stay with him when Phil walked out on me during the argument… I think he'd been drinking. He didn't sound normal," Dan whimpered.
"We're going to take you home, alright?" Dan nodded, smearing the tears from his face like they were the rain drops being wiped from the windshield.