Lauren stood stock still staring at the figure of her mum, she couldn't fully understand what she was seeing I mean why hadn't her mum got up yet? Why was she just lying there so still? This was another set up wasn't it? Just like Emma had been….While her mum lay unmoving a loud buzzing filled her ears followed by a mans voice. She turned her head slightly and seen who must be Colin Little pinned to the floor, his mouth was moving, he seemed to be laughing... he wouldn't be laughing long, her mum was gonna get up any second now….really, any second…. She began to decipher his words, seconds later their meaning came to her.

"Mum and dad!" he crowed over and over. "Mum AND dad."

Lauren shook her head. "No." was a whisper, louder and louder until her she couldn't even her own thoughts over her screams.

Minutes Earlier

Alice clawed at the hands around her throat, he was strong, completely focused and Alice slowly began to realise that there was no getting out of this one, after everything she had been through and survived it seemed she had ran out of luck. The breath was slowly being stolen from her body and there was nothing she could do to stop it, she couldn't remove his hands from her neck, he was too strong. She had tried to punch and hit but found it wasted precious air. Her throat was hoarse and there were lights dancing in front of her eyes, the panic she began to feel at being unable to breath was slowly disappearing leaving a warmth in its wake. Whereas her throat had been screaming for air now there was a tingling sensation, her head growing lighter.

The hands and arms which she had used to try and give herself some relief from his unyielding hands felt like dead weights and they fell to the floor. She tried to order them to get back up again, they lifted slightly before falling limply to the floor, again she tried, this time refusing to obey at all, her eyes began to blink slowly. She felt his hands clutch her throat tighter and she gasped vainly for more air. His brown eyes were glowing with hatred and his mouth was moving rapidly, spitting some sort of insults at her. She was in doubt as to now being her end and she didn't want his face to be the last one she seen so she closed her eyes and thought of her family.

She thoughts of Danny's face, the first time he saw her, the first time he smiled at her, the first time he told her he loved her, the first time she realised that he truly did love her, the time she joked about him being her chauffer and him turning up in one of their suits, their wedding day, their honeymoon. Danny's face when she told him they were going to have a baby the sheer wonderment and awe, his overjoyed face when he learned it was twins. The night their girls were born his face tired, eyes full of happy tears as he cradled a daughter in each arm unable to stop looking at them. She thought of Lily's giggle and Lauren's sarcastic laugh, spending time the four of them a family…..darkness began to descend and she welcomed it. Wrapped it around herself like an impenetrable shield. Behind this Alistair couldn't hurt her, behind this Colin couldn't, behind this she was free…..

As she let go she didn't hear the men burst into the room. Didn't feel Colin as he was yanked off her, or the soft hand on her neck feeling for a pulse…..but she did hear her daughters agonised scream and for that she roused.

"MUM!" Lauren was yelling as she jumped over the sofa on her knees by her mums side shaking her shoulders. "C'mon mum wake up please, we need you!" tears falling swiftly.

Alice forced her eyes to open and swallowed grimacing as he throat protested, she immediately saw terrified green eyes. She found the strength to lift her hand and cup her daughters cheek. "I'm ok sweetheart." her voice rough and raspy sounding so unlike her own.

Lily came in quickly followed by Mandy. Lily went to her mum and Alice sat up hugging both her daughters vowing never to let either go again.

Mandy was just watching the scene relief filling her, until Colin was on his feet promising retribution. She felt her fists clench and she walked towards the officers restraining him and before anyone could stop her swung her fist smashing it in his face, she didn't even feel the bones in her hand cracking before doing it again. An officer flew across the room grabbed her by the arms and pulled her away, Mandy's feet kicking out trying to get at Colin. It seemed she had finally hit her limit.

"Do you realise what you've put Alice and her kids through?" she raged as she was pulled towards the stairs away from Colin's whose face was spewing blood. Her ranting slowly getting quieter.

Alice and the twins watched this with interest.

"She told us not to hurt anyone!" Lauren murmured.

"If I know your auntie Mand she told you that so you wouldn't get in trouble." a hand on both of her daughters cheeks. "Didn't mean she wouldn't want a swipe at them herself." unable to tear her eyes away from her daughters.

After being driven to hospital and thoroughly checked over by doctors Alice was given a clean bill of health. Everything had happened so fast after Colin had been taken. The police had came over and helped her up asking if she needed an ambulance. Alice had shook her head but they still insisted on taking her to hospital. After being taken outside she saw her best friend sat on some gravel hands cuffed behind her back. The officer refusing to release her until A Colin was completely out of the area and B she promised to stay calm. Mandy was reluctantly agreeing and he uncuffed her, when she saw her friend she hurried over and hugged her tight.

They were taken to hospital. Mandy's hand looked broken but she promised to not leave the girls side until Alice was seen to, the girls couldn't remain with her as the doctors were going to be no doubt asking questions she didn't want her daughters hearing. Alice just wanted to speed through this eager to get back to her girls. She wasn't sure she'd ever feel comfortable leaving them again!

As she'd been being seen she had hounded doctors with questions about Danny. They had assured her he was alive, which had prompted her to burst into tears, when she stopped crying they refused to answer or evaded every other question she asked and she was suspicious. Something was wrong with Danny and she wanted to know right now! She had right as his wife to know! How she knew something was wrong was that he wasn't here with her nothing short of…it finally hit her, Colin hadn't totally lied to her, Danny HAD been hit on the head and probably had some sort of traumatic brain injury. She halted the doctor who was prodding her arm trying to find a vein. "Take me to my husband." she demanded, using the superior spoiled actress voice she NEVER used.

"Mrs Trevanion….."

She looked him in the eye, "He's in a coma isn't he?"

The doctor looked away momentarily and Alice had all the information she needed.

"I told you to take me to him right now!" she ordered loosing her patience.

"I'll fetch a nurse when I've finished my obs….."

Alice jumped down from the bed an headed for the door.

"Mrs Trevanion…." he spluttered.

Alice strode from the room, he wouldn't do as she asked so she'd find someone who would. She found Mandy and her girls down the hall, Mandy's hand and wrist in cast.

"Don't worry I didn't leave them!" Mandy assured. They stayed with the technician while I was x-rayed, so no they won't be glowing.

Alice nodded. "Do you know where Danny is Mand?"

"Two floors up room 607."

Alice nodded and hugged her briefly. "Thanks. Take these two home for me….."

"But mum!" they chorused.

"No buts girls, I'll see you both later." kissed each one slowly. "Go home, eat, have a bath and relax. I'll see you before you go to sleep." she promised. "I just really need to see your dad right now."

"Ok mum." Lily agreed.

Lauren however wasn't too sure.

"I'll be fine Lauren." Alice told her pulling her close for a hug. She just couldn't seem to stop hugging them. It may be because she knew this was the calm before the storm. She had things to explain to both of them and that wasn't going to be easy, everyone was just relieved right now but when those feelings of relief disappeared everything that was festering underneath would be unleashed and she wasn't looking forward to that! So she'd get in enough hugs now to get through that time.

Lauren nodded understanding and Mandy led them outside while Alice made the trek to see Danny.

Lauren sat on her bed in the room she and Lily shared at Mara. Night had fallen and the resort was uncharacteristically quiet. It was a cloudless night and the moon shined big and bright surrounded by what seemed like a million stars. The bedroom window was open a slight breeze circulating, the room filled with the scent of flowers and night…..Mara didn't smell like home, it was funny how used she had got used to it. She had even noticed it until it was gone.

Mandy had left a guard with her and Lily while she went to Leopards Den and collected some clothes for them. She had asked if they wanted to go. Lily hadn't wanted to go so Lauren had told Mandy she would stay with her. She was sat in bed shorts and a t-shirt, the food Mandy had brought in for her an hour ago untouched. It was only a sandwich and a glass of milk but she couldn't bring herself to eat it.

It felt like ever since she had returned to South Africa she'd had to keep up with or even stay one step ahead of Emma. First with hating her mum and then for loving her. Now Emma was in prison, as was the man who helped her, it seemed that she, Lily and her mum and dad could for the first time in her lifetime were actually safe, after all this time…..so why did she feel so bad?

She drew her legs unto her chest resting her chin on her knees. She and Lily had tried to stay close since the Emma fiasco, so many things hanging in the air between them unsaid. Lauren herself was struggling with things, she hated that Emma still had the power to make her feel like the frightened five year old who wanted her mother, all she had to do was mention the word dark and Lauren was a bag of nerves, the more she said the single word the worse she had felt. She hated even more that thinking of the past and her time with Emma caused panic to begin clawing at her throat.

As silence reigned she forced herself to think of that day, it had been sunny, warm…..it occurred to her then that she didn't even know the date or the day. For some reason she hated Tuesdays so maybe it was then? Who knew? I mean she was even assuming it was summer, maybe it wasn't, she was basing that purely on the fact it had been hot as to be honest in the UK even in summer hot days were a rarity! Her mind ran through what she remembered from her dream, how easy had it been for Emma to persuade her to go with her, her mum and dad had always told her to NEVER go with a stranger and she had literally let herself be taken by the hand and led away! The following days were hard to remember, sat alone in a dark room, still only wearing her pink bathing suit. Emma used to come in periodically, sometimes men came in too shouting scaring her cigarettes hanging out of their mouths. She used to sit there trembling with her hands over her ears just wishing for her soft spoken daddy to come and rescue her, to take her away from the scary men and promise her that no one would ever hurt her. Knowing that he hadn't came for her killed her inside, yeah she knew had he didn't know where she was he would have came and fought for her if he did, but knowing that he didn't know didn't make the reality of what she went through any easier to deal with. She could still hear her screaming when she was asleep, the tears never ending.

Then one day she just forgot them, or maybe she blocked it out or repressed it. Who knew? One minute her mum was Alice and she loved her and the next Emma was her mum and she hated Alice with everything inside her. Lauren couldn't pin point the exact day it happened, maybe it had been gradual, as the hope of someone coming to get her diminished so did her love for her mum until there was nothing left. All she did know of that time was that the first time she said she hated her mum something within her had died.

After that she had tried so hard to please Emma, thinking of new and inventive ways of getting to Alice just to gain approval. Did as she was told, became invisible when she had her men around so to not anger her. Endured every beating without shedding a tear in her presence. Emma had tried to mould her into her own image and Lauren was beginning to worry that she had did too good a job. She was terrified that one day she would look in the mirror and it wouldn't be her own reflection she saw but Emma's…

"You alright Lauren?" Lily asked putting her hand on her sisters arm. She had seen Laurens expression slowly changing from normal to worried to terrified.

Lily's damp hair hung around her shoulders. She hadn't even heard her enter the room. Lauren looked to her twin sister and at that moment she didn't feel like a twin at all, she felt lost and alone.

Lauren nodded slowly. "I'm ok." lowered her legs pushing her feet under her bed covers.

Lily knew that Lauren was lying but didn't want to press it. "Crazy day huh?" she asked sitting on the bed adjacent to Lauren.

"Just a little bit." Lauren drawled obviously lost in her own thoughts.

Silence fell and neither girl broke it, that is until a question which had been eating at Lily demanded to be asked. It had refused to leave her since Lauren said the words to Emma. "Lauren do you love Emma?" she asked simply.

Lauren bowed her head and exhaled heavily. "Don't ask me that Lils."

Lily sat up and crossed her legs. "I know its not what you want to hear and I know its not the best of questions at any time never mind what we have just been through its just….you said it and I'm….struggling with it….how….why….."

Lauren turned her head and looked at her sister, head still bowed and Lily saw the conflict in her eyes. "Are you sure you want to know?" she whispered.

"What….what do you mean?" Lily stammered.

"Well do you want the truth or do you want me to tell you the answer that you want to hear?" Lauren asked.

Lily frowned looking at her bedcovers. Part of her needed Lauren to tell her that no she hated Emma, always had and always will but then there would always be a part of that would wonder if Lauren was telling her the truth. "It depends on what the truth is doesn't it?" Lily replied softly.

Lauren closed her eyes trying to muster up the hate she once felt towards her mum and direct it to Emma…. There were so many things she wanted, she wanted to walk out of the room, there was no way she was going to be able to give Lily the answer she wanted to hear. She just wanted to run and not even contemplate answering this as truthfully, she didn't know how she felt about Emma. Regardless of what Emma did to her Emma had still raised her for seven years of her life, Danny and Alice only had her for five so Emma had been the main one for more that half of that time. She was confused about how she was supposed to feel and how she did. This woman kidnapped her, tortured her, tried to turn her against her own family had even tried to kill her for gods sake and yet still Lauren couldn't hate her.

"Lauren?" Lily coaxed. "Just tell me, whatever it is we'll get through it yeah?"

Lauren shrugged going for honesty and with her eyes glued to her bedspread she began to speak. "She raised me Lily, she was my mum for seven years…."

"No, mum is your mum!" Lily countered.

"Well I didn't know that did I?" she stood up, Lily just didn't understand, she hadn't lived it. "I knew this was a bad idea!"

Lily took her arm and sat her down, "I'm sorry I'll stay quiet. Just talk."

Lauren sat down, her whole body feeling heavy, her shoulders leaden she again bowed her head and ran a hand through her hair. The gesture was so much like their dad Lily had to withhold telling her that.

"I…I dunno what you want me to say Lily and I dunno if I want to tell you the truth." Lauren told her. "All I do know is that I don't know." she shook her head. "I know I should hate her!" her voice edged with the feeling. "I want to hate her, I should hate her with everything inside me after what she did but I can't!" she fisted her head in her hands. "So don't ask me if I love her coz…."

"Ok." Lily replied cutting her off. "What about mum? Do you love her?"

Lauren raised her head and answered without even having to think. "Completely."

"Then I don't get it, how can you love both of them?"

"Neither do I Lil's, think of it from my perspective though. Emma told me every day for seven years to hate our mum and we're not talking slight dislike here we are talking full on loathing her even planning for me to kill my own mother hate!"

Lily's eyes widened.

"Then I get here and I have Emma's voice in my head telling me to hate her, and I have this other little voice telling me Emma is wrong, mum is nice then I get my memories of our mum being kind and loving and I'm even more confused. And even now Emma is gone and here I am and I love out mum…." Laurens voice getting emotional. "But sometimes just for a second I feel that hate, I remember Emma and the feeling is so intense so familiar….." she exhaled obscuring her eyes. "It feels like going home Lily…" she raised her eyes to look at her sister and her eyes were haunted. "And I feel so guilty because I'm home and I'm hers and that other feeling shouldn't feel like home but it does!"

Lily's jaw was slack as she stared at her twin. "Do you….um….you wanna talk about it? Like the Emma stuff…." Lily asked hesitantly. "Maybe I could help."

"There is nothing to say Lily." Lauren shrugged. "Emma just has a permanent address right up here." and tapped her forehead.

"That's not true Lauren…."

"It is Lil's, really. Lets take the meeting as an example, she knew exactly what to say and do to make me that frightened five year old kid again. I don't want to be this person anymore but I can't stop it. Add that to the fact that I can't hate her and….."

"And what?" Lily whispered.

Lauren sat back on her bed feet on the mattress. "I think I'm turning into her Lily. Everything she told me everything I am, my front, my attitude, it all comes from her and how she brought me up. The things she'd find funny I laugh at, the foods she likes are my favourites. Even now she is controlling me from a prison cell. Christ look at how I dress, in your face, bright colours in my hair, torn clothes. How much of that is actually me and how much is that her planting ideas in my head? My subconscious mind needs to take a walk off a cliff!"

"It's got to be you though, I mean she couldn't control what you like!"

"Look at me, my bright hair I colour to make a bold statement. My clothes mirror my attitude. Mum and dad say I used to be quiet when I was little, I don't remember that, all I remember is making a scene, making myself be seen, making sure everyone knows that no one tells me what to do, I do what I want when I want to! I make an entrance now Lily. Everything I am now I get from her, if I'd stayed I'd be a different person."

"Ok, so you use the way you act as a means of setting relationship boundaries. It isn't surprising, you took control in the areas you could since you have spent so many years powerless. Your attitude protects you now like it couldn't back then! This you wouldn't walk off with Emma would she? You think you have changed so much? I don't, because I know you are at your happiest when you are on your own playing your guitar and that is who you are. Your attitude is only a tiny part of you!"

Lauren wasn't convinced, "Lily….."

Lily jumped off her bed and sat opposite her sister and took her hands in her own, she lowered her voice. "You could sit here and list gazillions of ways you aren't like Emma and you wouldn't believe it. I only need one though."

Lauren shook her head bowed, there was a gap in her hair and she looked at Lily, silently hoping that what she was about to say was as good as she seemed to think.

"You can't hate her." was all Lily said. It was a simple statement but the power it had on Lauren was staggering.

"I'd go as far as saying you feel sorry for her." Lily squeezed her hands as Lauren sat considering everything. "Emma is who she is because of hate. She hated our mum, and she probably hated our dad and she hated us just because we were born! That is why you are not and never will be her. You aren't capable of that much hate, that much I do know!"

Lauren bit her lower lip relief filling. She wasn't completely assured and she had many demons to fight before she was completely free of this fear but she had hope now and a dash of hope was better than being filled with despair.

"Thanks." she croaked.

Lily pulled her close and Lauren held on tight like if she let go a tidal wave would sweep her away. A tear fell and she tried to covertly wipe it away. "You're pretty amazing Lil you know that?"

Lily pulled back and grinned at her wide and real.

There was a soft knock at the door which broke the moment, their mum walked in.

"Just called in to say goodnight to you both." Alice told them noticing the emotion on each child's face. She had came straight from seeing Danny, her hair was scraped back and she had yet to shower or change yet.

Lily bounced off Laurens bed and onto her own. She slid beneath the covers lying down. Alice bent down and kissed her. "Goodnight Lily, love you always."

"Night mum." Lily replied. "Love you too."

Alice then went to Lauren, she was lain on her side looking out of the window. The shadows in her eyes evident. "Night Lauren, love you too, always."

Lauren nodded. "Good night mum, love you."

Alice sat down. "Are you ok?" pushed a lock of hair off her face gently.

Lauren shook her head. "Not right now." she admitted. "But I will be." she whispered.

"I'm here." Alice promised and kissed her forehead feather light.

"I know."

Alice closed the window and double checked the lock then headed for the door. "Love you both." she repeated. "Sleep tight."

They murmured their replies and the room was silent. Moments after the door was closed she heard Lily's voice reassuring Lauren. Alice rested her head against the closed door. They had each other now. She swallowed thickly and headed for her bedroom, she needed a shower.

A/N now that it is all over Lauren is struggling, (loved writing that bit!) Emma is out of their life now the real work begins creating a normal life.
I find it interesting the way lily reacts here as she finally begins to understand that all this could have been her had things been different.
And Alice is home, haven't seen much of her this chapter but you see her feelings slowly unfolding, in coming chapters, her strengths and weaknesses put to the test AND I have a curveball coming later on something which will throw everyone out of kilter so stay tuned! x