Total Drama Chris
Chapter 36: Day 17: Part 2: Sax and Violins
Heather was lying in a reclining beach chair on the beach, relaxed and soaking in sunshine, with an empty seat next to her. Leshawna soon returned carrying a couple of drinks, and handing one to Heather, who was smiling. "You was right," Leshawna said. "They didn't ask how old I was."
"Truthfully, I don't even really know what the drinking age is," Heather said, shrugging. "I'm not sure anyone knows. The Aruba Ariba was said to be the must-try drink here, though."
Leshawna took a sip, and smiled. "They're right, I'll tell ya' that much!"
Heather nodded after taking a sip herself. "I've actually been thinking about Madison."
"She's a no-good traitor," Leshawna said, crossing her arms and looking irritated.
"Look, I'm not saying the things she did to you were right. But there's something wrong here."
"Yeah, she be making my life hell, that's what!"
Heather shook her head, looking down. "She is, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't help but feel sorry for her."
"You would," Leshawna said, rolling her eyes.
"I don't approve of the stuff she did to you," Heather said. "I don't think she's happy, though. I know a little about being the queen bee. It's hard work, people fear you more than they actually like you, and at every moment, you have to be so careful as to not be taken down, and sometimes, it just happens, and things spiral out of control, and--" Heather stopped herself, and was starting to tear up. "I mean, don't get me wrong, there are definitely some nice perks, but the fall is hard, and miserable, and all of those people are just--just--"
Leshawna pat Heather's back. "I'm really sorry about that, hon. I swear, I never thought you'd be the kid everyone else picked on! And I was just one of them."
"I was mean to you, though," Heather said. "I mean, you were mean to me as well. It was kind of mutual combat. Neither of us was the good guy, neither of us the bad guy."
"I think taking up for Gwen gives me a slight edge," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow. "But yeah, the magic of editing. Definitely skewered in my favor there." Leshawna shook her head. "Still can't believe all those things they done to ya' at school."
"Like throwing me into a vat of vomit," Heather said, raising an eyebrow. "I tend to remember someone else doing that to me as well."
"I'm sorry," Leshawna said, looking guilty. "How many times are you gonna' make me say it? I was wrong!"
"I just enjoy rubbing it in," Heather said, smiling innocently.
"You really are mean," Leshawna said, laughing a bit, and hugging Heather, who hugged back, still smiling. "We're both a little mean, I guess."
"You still have bad hair," Heather said, smirking as the two let go.
"And you still have no hair," Leshawna shot back, smirking back. "Seriously, I owe you a new wig."
"It was pretty expensive," Heather said. "I don't want you to worry about that. I can get another. I don't want you to use up your money on me."
"I wronged you, and I owe you," Leshawna said.
"Seriously, don't," Heather said, smiling. "The things you do for your family, stuck in a ghetto--"
"It's really not that bad," Leshawna said. "We're livin', and I'm makin' something of myself!"
"I hope you do," Heather said, smiling. "Still, I don't want your money, I promise! Just the gesture is nice enough!" Heather sighed. "Really, though, I wish I could talk to Madison."
"Not this again," Leshawna said jokingly, rolling her eyes. "You can't save everyone."
"I think you want her to be saved, though," Heather said, narrowing her eyes. "Your once best friend, turning against you so seemingly randomly… I don't think it was random."
"I know it wasn't random," Leshawna said. "She's just a no-good horrible bitch."
"I don't believe it," Heather said, shaking her head. "One day, you're best of friends, then suddenly you get arrested for no reason--I'm really sorry about that, by the way--and you don't hear from her for years, and years later, when she realizes who you are, she makes it her goal in life to personally punish you. She probably feels you betrayed her."
"I never did no such thing!" Leshawna shouted, defensive.
"I never said you did," Heather said, concerned. "All that matters is that Madison thinks you did. Someone was probably spreading lies about you to her, and she believed them. Didn't you say her mother was involved with the whole arrest?"
"Yeah," Leshawna said, looking miserable. "I don't suppose I can get the entire school to torment her so she'll change back?"
Heather shook her head. "It might work. Or it might lead to her taking out half the school. Not worth the risk. Plus, that torment is not something I would wish on my worst enemy."
"You really wouldn't wish that on Jewel?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.
"Hell no! Seriously, that was… well, I needed a wake-up call, don't get me wrong. I still wish I hadn't had to go through that, though!"
"You're right, girl," Leshawna said, patting Heather's knee. "All that stuff I did to you this year… all that stuff you went through, and all that stuff I did… I can't never make it up to you."
"Probably not," Heather teased.
"You like rubbin' it in, don't ya'?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I do," Heather proclaimed, grinning.
"You really are bad!" Leshawna said, smirking.
"Can't expect anyone to completely change," Heather said, laughing a bit. "I can still bring it on and win this competition. At least assuming no one tries to orchestrate my ouster for some reason again." Heather glared at Leshawna.
Leshawna shrugged. "I won't, but I don't promise no one else will. There's still Cody and Gwen, and they--"
"Gwen likes me!" Heather exclaimed, pointing innocently to herself. "Seriously!"
"I'll believe that one when I see it," Leshawna said, not believing.
"I swear it's true!" Heather exclaimed, raising her right hand. "Would I lie?"
"Yeah, you would," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow. "Gwen can hold a grudge good. She don't just let go easy."
Heather shrugged. "I wish I knew exactly what I did to earn Gwen's trust. I just tried my hardest to prove myself to her, and eventually she accepted me."
"You sure you're Heather?" Leshawna asked, suspicious. "You can't be the real Heather!"
"I don't know," Heather said, tapping her chin. "It could all be an elaborate rouse on my part to get everyone to trust me so I can take them all in for suckers and win the grand prize easily. What with being an evil mastermind and all, mwa ha ha!"
"Mwa ha ha?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow. "Really, now. I'm not sure whether that was you joking or not."
"Yes, that was a joke!" Heather exclaimed, waving her hands. "I mean, I still want to win, that part wasn't the joke, but I really do want to show the world that I'm not this horrible person they all believe me to me."
"You were pretty bad last year, though."
"Yes, I was," Heather said, and sighed. "I wasn't that bad, though. Seriously, did they have to edit out everything that made me look human?"
"There wasn't that much there," Leshawna said, shaking her head.
"Oh, really?" Heather asked. "They may have been edited out, but Lindsay, Beth and I most certainly had some nicer moments."
"Didn't stop you from kicking them out!" Leshawna shouted.
"I didn't have a choice," Heather stated. "Or correction, I did have a choice, but I didn't see it that way. First, Beth did curse us, and I wasn't the only one who threw her under the bus for that one. And she had betrayed me by that point, anyway."
"Still can't believe we voted Beth off instead of you there," Leshawna said, looking guilty. "Really wasn't fair. But you and you alone got Lindsay kicked off, and she was still loyal to you!"
Heather sighed, then looked down. "I felt terrible about that."
"Sure you did," Leshawna said, rolling her eyes.
"I wasn't that heartless!" Heather shouted. "I do wish they would've shown that confessional, though. I liked Lindsay. Sure, I was using her, and I didn't really respect her, but I could actually talk to her, and regardless of how irritating she could be, she was also the only one there who didn't hate my guts! I wouldn't have admitted it then, but if, for some reason, I didn't win, she would have been my next choice."
"You didn't like Lindsay last year," Leshawna said, laughing a bit. "That's the most ridiculous thing you've said so far!"
"It's true," Heather stated, irritated. "I'm not saying I was a great friend to her, because I wasn't, and I hated that Lindsay had to leave."
"I could tell how much you hated it," Leshawna said, rolling her eyes.
"Like I was going to act like I cared with all of my mortal enemies scrutinizing my every move," Heather said, waving her hand dismissively. "Please. I do wish they'd shown that lousy confessional after, though!"
"Well, if it exists, Izzy can find it, I'm sure," Leshawna said. "Not that she will, but if there's--"
"That's a great idea!" Heather exclaimed, hugging Leshawna again. "You really are pretty smart. Or at least smart."
"Now what's wrong with this bodacious bod?" Leshawna asked, tracing her figure.
"Oh," Heather said, nervous. "Um… well, it's… nice." Heather looked nervous, and saw Leshawna sigh. "I don't really know what you're expecting me to say."
"I was kinda' hopin' 'yeah, you're gorgeous,' or somethin' like that," Leshawna said.
"I didn't want to lie?" Heather asked, looking worriedly upon Leshawna. "I'm sorry. I'm not perfect still. I'm still not sure what the correct answer was. Old Heather might have lied and say that you were beautiful if she were trying to get on your good side, but I don't really want to do that." Leshawna looked upset, but she was trying to contain herself. "As long as you're good on the inside, though, right?" Heather asked, smiling. "That's what matters, right?"
Leshawna breathed in deeply. "I promise I'm not gonna' rip your head off, but what's wrong? Is it my hair? My weight? My--"
"Yes," Heather said, shaking nervously. "I didn't really want it to come up, but yes. Your weight." Leshawna looked upset, but continued breathing in deeply. "I'm really sorry."
Leshawna finally smiled after several seconds. "Thanks, hon."
"Still friends?" Heather asked nervously, trying to smile.
Leshawna shrugged, then hugged Heather, who hugged back. "Yeah. After everything I done to you, I have no room to complain." Leshawna and Heather let go. "Can I ask, though? Why does it bother you?"
"There you are!" a lady shouted, dressed as an airplane attendant. "It's time to go!"
"But we haven't been here that long," Leshawna complained. "Don't we even get to spend the night?"
"And Chris have to pay for hotel stay?" the lady asked, rolling her eyes. "As if! Now you two, hustle! Chris wants you back!"
"OK, Emily, OK," Heather said, rolling her eyes.
"My name is Zoe! And I'm not proud at all that you can't tell me apart from my sister!"
"I'm sorry, Zoe," Heather said, smiling. "You're the one who despises Chris, right?"
"Yeah. I don't know why my sister's so obsessed."
"We don't know either," Leshawna said.
"We might have to get her checked," Zoe said, tapping her cheek.
Tyler had wrapped his yo-yo around his body, tying his arms and legs together, and fell to the ground. Harold shook his head. "Didn't you try that last year?"
"I've been practicing," Tyler said.
"Do you want me to get the scissors?" Cody asked, a bit nervous.
"Nah, I can get out of this," Tyler said, audibly struggling to get out of the yo-yo string.
"I can show you some real talent," Harold said, smiling. "Watch what I can do with these num-yos!" Harold started twirling a pair of yo-yos around his head as if they were nunchucks.
"He's a party dude!" Cody exclaimed. "That's pretty good, really. I don't know if it'll be enough to win, though. Who knows what everyone else is coming up with?"
Confession Outhouse
Tyler: (still tied up in his yo-yo) I don't know how I'm going to get good enough to win this thing. (Tyler sighs.)
"I don't know what I can do," Courtney said, pacing back and forth in front of Lindsay and Bridgette, looking concerned. "I don't have my violin. What else is there for me?"
"Do you know any other instruments?" Bridgette asked, looking guilty.
"Ooh, I do!" Lindsay exclaimed, raising her hand. "There's drums, guitars, piñatas, sexy phones, drum pets, piccolo--"
"That's not quite what I meant," Bridgette said, giggling.
"I can play some of those," Courtney said. "Not the drums or trumpet, and I'm not a fan of the piccolo--"
"I remember that!" Lindsay exclaimed, proud of herself. "I remember when you said you didn't like piccolos on your hamburger!"
Bridgette was giggling again. "I don't think most people do."
Confession Outhouse
Lindsay: I don't know how I remembered that, but I remember that Courtney told me she didn't like piccolos on her hamburger!
Courtney kept herself from laughing. "I may know how to play those instruments, but I still don't have access to them. That's a bit of a problem."
"Psst."
"Did anyone else hear that?" Courtney asked, confused.
"I think someone's tire is crying," Lindsay said, also confused.
"Hey, bud."
"Hi Izzy," Bridgette said, smiling nervously and waving.
"I'm not Izzy," Izzy said, stepping out in a large trenchcoat. "Call me Kaleidoscope."
"You mean that same girl who was helping find evidence of Justin's and Leshawna's wrongdoing?" Courtney asked, smirking.
"I thought that was E-Scope," Lindsay said, confused.
Izzy shrugged. "Kaleidoscope, E-Scope, I say tomato, you say kumquat, it's the same thing."
"That's not quite how the expression goes," Bridgette said, giggling a bit.
"Someone's got a case of the giggles," Izzy said, then produced a box of Giggles cookies from behind her back. "I only have three boxes after this one's through. Glad I got the whole case of them after that grocery story was going out of business." Izzy opened the box, and took out a smiley-faced cookie with mold growing on it. "Two different colors of crème! Though actually, I think it's three colors now." Izzy popped the cookie in her mouth.
"How old are those?" Courtney asked, wincing.
"Twenty-three years, give or take a few months," Izzy said. "It's like a fine wine. The flavors become more sophisticated as they're allowed to settle." Izzy popped another cookie into her mouth. "Anyone want one? I'm willing to share!"
"No thank you," Lindsay said. "I'm trying to watch what I eat. Need to keep this figure." Lindsay giggled uncomfortably.
Confession Outhouse
Lindsay: I may be stupid, but even I know not to eat a cookie that looks like that did. Although if I got sick, I might've lost some weight. But it still would've tasted terrible.
"I can get you an instrument," Izzy loudly said into Courtney's ear, not really trying to keep the message very secret. "A violin you want, I can get you a violin."
"Thank you, Izzy," Courtney said, smiling. "That would be quite kind of you."
"No problem," Izzy said, smiling. "Can I get anything for you two? Surfboard?"
"I don't think I can really surf on the stage," Bridgette said, giggling a bit again.
Izzy cocked her head. "Sure you don't want a Giggle? Sounds like you could use one, Bridge."
"We're sure!" Lindsay squealed quickly, looking a bit frightened.
"Can you play the triangle?" Izzy asked to Lindsay.
"Triangles have three sides, right?" Lindsay asked, rubbing her forehead.
"Yeah, but I'm talking about this thing," Izzy said, taking a triangle and stick from behind her back.
"Where do you keep that stuff you're always able to pull from seeming thin air?" Courtney asked, concerned.
"Hammerspace," Lindsay answered.
"Not really, I just always come prepared," Izzy said, shifting her eyes back and forth. "Always prepared. You never know when the RCMP might be waiting to jump you right around the corner, ha ha!"
"They're mean," Lindsay said, making a pouty face. "And I always thought Doodie Do Right was a good guy."
Bridgette was giggling again. "I'm sorry, I think I have something in my system today."
"But I know what's not in your system," Izzy said, smirking, holding out the box of Giggles.
"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Bridgette exclaimed, waving her hands wildly.
Confession Outhouse
Bridgette: I have no idea what I'm going to do for the talent show, but I'm good! (Bridgette giggles nervously.)
"I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" Tyler exclaimed, as he was dribbling a basketball, at least until it got loose. "How long was that?"
"Fourteen seconds!" Cody exclaimed. "That's a record!"
"Whoo-hoo!" Tyler exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. "I can win this thing tonight!"
"I'm not sure about that," Cody said, nervous. "It might impress Lindsay, though."
"Yeah!" Tyler exclaimed, excited. "Lindsay's gonna' love to watch what I can do!"
"I still think she would be more impressed by the stylings of the num-yo," Harold said, twirling his yo-yos near his head.
"He's not really as good with the yo-yo," Cody said. "Might want to stick with the basketball."
"I can do this!" Tyler exclaimed, pumping his fists. "Just you watch, 'cause here comes the Tyler man!"
"And the Codemeister!"
"And Mad Skills, dawg!"
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: And the huge egos. I mean, at least I don't scream out to the high heavens some idiotic nickname for myself.
Lindsay: CIT? Was that it? There was some silly nickname Courtney kept screaming to everyone. I think it was CIT. I don't even know what that stands for.
"All right!" Chris exclaimed, standing on the amphitheater stage that night, next to Nicole, before the eight contestants, sitting in the bleachers. "It's time to play the music! It's time to light the lights!"
"It's time to stop saying cutesy things that don't make any sense," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.
"Now that's just mean!" Chris shouted. "Anyway, contestants, Nicole. Nicole, contestants. You've met, so let's move one. Each of you will perform an act for us all. Nicole will judge those acts. The top two are safe, and the top one gets to pick a third person for safety."
"I'm going to be the top one, of course," Courtney stated, flaunting her hand over her chest. "And I will, of course, be entirely fair when choosing which of these lesser people to allow into safety with me."
"Lesser people?" Bridgette asked, not particularly happy.
"Just lesser than me," Courtney said, smiling. "Don't worry. You're still way up there!" Courtney noticed Bridgette didn't look too happy.
Confession Outhouse
Bridgette: I don't think Courtney's trying to, and I'm not sure she's entirely aware of it, and I know she's been better this year, but it's still frustrating when she gets like that.
Courtney: I don't think Bridgette liked being referred to as lesser. I don't really get it. She is lesser than me. She is a genuinely good friend, but she isn't as close to perfect as I am. For one, she seems upset with me. There's no logical reason for that.
Lindsay: I think Bridgette's mad at Courtney. I wish I knew how to make them happy. Courtney didn't mean lesser to be mean. I don't think, anyway.
Tyler was on the stage, holding a basketball. Chris was looking from the side. "Anytime, Tyler," Chris said, annoyed.
Tyler gulped, then smiled. "This is for you, babe!" Tyler then started dribbling the basketball, which he lost control of after nine seconds and it bounced into the audience straight into Lindsay's head, who fell over. Bridgette and Courtney both jumped out of their seats to tend to Lindsay.
"Are you OK?" Courtney asked, worried.
"I'm good," Lindsay weakly said.
"Really? We can get you something if you need it. Bridgette, can you get some water?"
"Can you get it?" Bridgette asked, a bit irritated.
"You're right!" Courtney exclaimed. "I can get there and back faster! Make sure Lindsay's all right!" Courtney ran off, leaving Bridgette scratching her head.
Confession Outhouse
Bridgette: (in meditation position) She's a good person. She's a good person. She was worried about Lindsay, so she's a good person. (Bridgette sighs.) Courtney is a good person. I know that.
Lindsay: That was awesome! The way Tyler dribbled the basketball, just like a real sports star! He was just so amazing to watch. And so hot! (Lindsay blushes.)
Tyler was sitting next to Lindsay in the audience, lightly hugging her, as Courtney rushed back carrying a glass of water. "You're up, Lindsay!" Chris called out. "Get up there now or you're getting kicked off tonight."
"That's not how it works!" Courtney yelled, angry.
"As long as I equally apply it to everyone else, I can do it!" Chris yelled. "Lindsay better get up there, and now!"
"OK," Lindsay weakly said as she started walking toward the stage, then stopped short. "Oh yeah, can I borrow that basketball, Tyler?" Lindsay smiled sweetly at Tyler.
"Sure, babe," Tyler said, as they kissed while he handed over the basketball to Lindsay.
"That's disgusting," Chris said, making an ugly face as Lindsay started to rush up onto the stage, holding the basketball.
"This is a basketball," Lindsay said, looking at the ball, very serious.
"We know what it is, Lindsay," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "How about doing something with it before I fall asleep?"
"Right!" Lindsay stated, as she started dribbling the basketball.
"Well that's original," Chris said, yawning. "Do more."
"Anyone have a basket?" Lindsay asked, grinning.
"Just use Chris' head!" Courtney cheered, rolling her fist from the bleachers.
"Right!" Lindsay exclaimed, as she aimed and threw the ball squarely at Chris' forehead, then rushed over to catch the ball and dribble some more, while Chris had fallen to the ground, and started rubbing his head in pain. "Now watch this!" Lindsay slammed the ball into the amphitheater floor, and watched it bounce high. When it came back down, Lindsay hopped onto it and took the ride bouncing back up with it, and at her highest point, she grabbed the ball and hummed it at Chris' head once more, who fell back down again. Lindsay took a bow as the audience went wild, and Tyler and Courtney climbed onto the stage to hug her.
"That was incredible!" Courtney exclaimed.
"Yeah, you rocked!" Tyler exclaimed. Lindsay blushed.
Confession Outhouse
Lindsay: I was actually on my school's basketball team for a little bit. But then for some reason, they switched the baskets partway through the game. That confused me, and I kept throwing the ball into the wrong basket, and they kicked me off the team. (Lindsay looks pouty as she crosses her arms across her chest.) Why did they switch which team had which basket? Why couldn't they just make up their minds before the game started? How was I supposed to remember they switched the baskets for some reason?
Courtney: For the record, I could've done that, too!
Tyler: Yeah, she was really good. (Tyler sniffs.) I don't think Lindsay was really impressed by my dribbling. I think she was just saying that.
Lindsay: I hope one day I can be as good as Tyler is!
"Starting… now!" Bridgette exclaimed, as she turned her body over, and started walking around on her arms, with her legs up in the air. "And don't worry, I haven't eaten anything in a while. Last year's disaster isn't going to happen this time, guys!" The contestants in the audience nodded nervously.
Confession Outhouse
Katie: It was kinda' cool at first, but then it got really boring, really fast, just staring at Bridgette, walking around upside-down for twenty-minutes. It felt like it was never going to end!
Cody: You know, I can't complain about having an excuse to stare at Bridgette for twenty minutes. Now if only it could've been Gwen instead. (Cody's eyes grow wide.) Or Eva! Or Eva! (Cody sighs.) When I get kicked off, I'm a dead man.
Courtney: Bridgette, you're really better than that. You shouldn't go parading yourself like a monkey.
"And watch, as I, Mad Skills, perform some death defying tricks with the amazing num-yos!" Harold said, as he started twirling the pair of yo-yos around his head, then continuing to twirl them around his arms, and legs, and finally, letting one loose straight for Chris' head, then retrieving it with his other num-yo, boomeranging the one that had hit Chris back to him. "Thank you."
"That was awful!" Chris yelled, rubbing his head in pain with both hands. The audience cheered for him, though, minus Courtney, who looked disgusted, and had her arms crossed.
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: Last thing I want is for… I hate to even say his name, Harold to win. (Courtney shuddered upon uttering the name.) Cheating to get me kicked off last year, and tormenting Lindsay for no reason this year.
Chris: (rubbing his head) Personally, I liked his act from last year more. (Chris groans in pain.)
"I'm never gonna' dance again!" Cody shouted on stage, while Chris and the contestants were covering their ears. "Guilty feet have got no rhythm! Though it's easy to pretend--"
"I thought you said no singing was allowed last week!" Gwen shouted to Chris, covering her ears in pain.
"I did!" Chris exclaimed, covering his ears, though smiling. "But this isn't singing!" Gwen rolled her eyes.
Confession Outhouse
Cody: I love that song! Seether is a genius, coming up with something so rockin' awesome like that!
Gwen: I hate Seether! Lame posers. Did Cody think it would impress me, or something? Were the lyrics even supposed to make sense in relation to him, anyway? Didn't anyone ever tell him he couldn't sing at all?
Cody: I wouldn't mind trying out for Canadian Idol next year. I think I have a good shot at winning!
Lindsay: I remember hearing that song when I was like a baby! That song used to make me want to learn how to play the sexy phone! For some reason, Mommy and Daddy always got really embarrassed when I mentioned wanting to play the sexy phone. I never really understood why.
Chris: Hey, I agree with Lindsay. She's perfect for one of those people in the sex phone line commercials, even though you're probably really talking to some ugly chick on the other end of the phone.
Izzy: (popping her head out from the toilet) You're disgusting!
Chris: Um, you are aware that you're the one who's in a toilet?
Izzy: Oh, don't worry. I flushed it first.
Katie does a little dance, swinging her hips, and then twirling around on stage, before doing a split. "That was good, wasn't it?" Katie asked, nervous, watching a confused crowd, and Courtney, who was shaking her head in the palm of her hand. "I'm sorry, but it really is a lot better when I have Sadie to do it with me!
Confession Outhouse
Harold: No, it's really not, Katie.
Courtney: When I told Katie and Sadie that their act was no good last year, I only had their best interests in mind, of course. I didn't want them to embarrass themselves on national television, or at least we all thought it was just national back then. I don't think any of us really expected the show to become a worldwide phenomenon. But my point still stands, that I had Katie's and Sadie's best interests at heart last year. Which also happened to be congruent with my interests with winning, of course, but my concern for them embarrassing themselves was legitimately secondary!
Gwen was on the stage, in front of a canvas, holding a paint palette in one hand and a paintbrush in the other, both faced away from the audience, as she slowly painted something, while some contestants in the bleachers were started to fall asleep.
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: I wonder if she watched Bob Ross. She was going at it pretty fast, really. Chris is just such an impatient jerk sometimes. I know Gwen and I haven't always had the best relationship, but I just felt so bad for her after Chris did that.
Bridgette: Don't get me wrong, Gwen's a great artist. She's just a slow painter. I wish I'd have thought to recommend a pencil drawing, since I had a bad feeling that Chris--
Chris: So I destroyed her "work-in-progress" that she was doing. It was crap, anyway. Water, grass, a couple of people who didn't look like they were me… seriously, if you're going to go so slow, at least draw me! I would've been a little less impatient if you were painting something nice, I mean. And did she have to get all bitchy about it? I mean, yelling at me, cursing me out, and throwing a little tantrum just because I ripped the hideous work of art all up then set it ablaze? Seriously, you all should be thanking me that you'll never have to witness that monstrosity. Plus I was bored, so making her angry made me not bored!
"That was beyond cruel, Chris," Courtney stated, glaring death at Chris. "To destroy a possible masterpiece without provocation!"
"Speak English!" Chris yelled. "It's not my fault Gwen was acting like a spoiled brat! And it's your turn to perform, anyway, so get up here."
"But I… where's Iz… I mean, where's Kaleidoscope?"
"Right here!" Izzy exclaimed, from right beneath where Courtney was sitting, causing her to leap in fear and fall down from the bleachers onto the ground.
"Was that necessary?" Courtney asked, irritated as she was picking herself up from the ground while dusting herself off.
"No, but it was fun!" Izzy exclaimed. "Come on, I got you a violin, so you could at least let me have my fun! It's win-win!"
"I suppose," Courtney said. "Thank you." Courtney started tearing up.
"Why did you get her a violin?!" Chris yelled, angry.
Izzy was smiling brightly and dancing slightly as she began speaking rapidly. "Well, her violin broke last year, and I'm making mad money now, and I thought 'hey, it would be really nice to get Courtney another violin,' so… yeah. There she goes. Off to make Mommy proud, I hope!" Izzy sniffled slightly, and wiped a tear from her eye. "Makes me so proud."
Courtney climbed onto the stage nervously with the violin, and looked into the crowd. "I'm a little out of practice, so I hope the quality of my playing is to an acceptable standard for you guys."
"No one cares, just play," Chris grumbled.
"OK," Courtney said, smiling. "This is a piece from Bach's French Suite Number Three." Courtney began playing her violin, and the other contestants were smiling, even peaceful, listening to Courtney's playing. After Courtney finished, she took a bow, and the audience cheered, and Chris yawned.
"That was boring. And old. No one likes dead people music," Chris complained.
"Dead people music?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I thought dead people music was like what those people in the unfashionable wigs listened to. Wasn't that Tetanus music?"
"No!" Courtney screamed in a panic. "Absolutely not, no no, one hundred percent no! That was a classical piece worthy of breaking in this violin! Ha! Ha! As if I would be caught dead playing a common person's video game. Just the thought is laughable, so I shall laugh again! Ha!" Courtney looked around the stage nervously. "Ha!"
Confession Outhouse
Cody: I find it suspicious that Courtney somehow knew that Lindsay was talking about a video game when she mentioned tetanus. I know video games aren't really the first thing I think of.
Katie: Everyone knows Music A rocks, and Music C sucks. I don't get why Courtney chose to play Music C. (Katie shrugs.) It was pretty good, still.
Courtney: OK, fine, I admit, I enjoy Tetris quite thoroughly, and the game has even introduced me to that classic musical piece. Seriously, most video games are all about mindlessly shooting and killing thins, but Tetris is an intelligent game requiring spatial reasoning and dexterital exercises. (Courtney nervously looks to the camera.) Please allow me one guilty pleasure.
All of the contestants, except for Gwen, were sitting in the bleachers, anxiously awaiting the results of the competition. Lindsay was bunched between Tyler and Courtney, who was looking especially nervous. Bridgette was nearby, looking unsure about everything. Katie was squeezing Cody's arm in nervousness, and Harold was sitting calmly by himself.
"And may you all give your attention to that loser Nicole," Chris said, as Nicole walked through the curtain, onto the stage, and glared death at Chris.
"Loser?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're quite the mature one, Chris. Anyway, I have the results."
"Announce second place first!" Chris loudly whispered. "It'll be more dramatic that way!"
Nicole grumbled before continuing on. "Our second place winner, who is safe from tonight's vote, for what was a beautiful painting before Chris destroyed it--"
"You didn't see it!" Chris yelled. "I thought you were all for being 'fair' and 'unbiased,'" Chris complained, waving his hands in the air. "That's why I chose you for this, instead of one of the other losers who were supposed to be on this year!"
"Supposed to be on?" Courtney asked. "You mean we weren't originally supposed to be put through another round of torture this year?"
"Uh…" Chris went, nervous and sweating, then bolted off, scared.
Courtney looked angry, but calmed herself quickly. "Please continue, Nicole."
"Thank you," Nicole said. "I could see Gwen's painting from backstage. I couldn't tell who she was painting, but the landscaping was beautiful, and she definitely deserves second prize." Nicole thought for a moment before continuing. "Someone be sure to tell Gwen that she's safe after this is over!"
"Will do!" Bridgette exclaimed, saluting to Nicole.
"And for first place," Nicole started, "for that lovely rendition of that classic Tetris theme, even if it wasn't Music A, which would've rocked even harder, on the violin, Courtney!"
Courtney teared up and hurried onto the stage. "I'd like to thank myself, for pushing myself to my limits and giving myself the ability to do all of the things I am able to accomplish."
"You don't have to give a speech," Nicole said, rubbing her arm. "Really."
"I would also like to thank Duncan for pushing all of my buttons, which only pushes me into trying harder. And Lindsay, for being ever so optimistic and giving me more of a reason to continue playing in this game, to make sure she can thrive in this terrible environment. Oh, and Bridget! She's the only person back home who's been there for me, and has my back, and helps me get along, or at least tolerate, others of my age. And… and…" Courtney was rubbing her forehead, looking like she was thinking hard. "Bridgette, the other one! I'm sorry that you're upset with me, and I'm sorry for whatever I did! I don't know what it is, I swear!" Bridgette smiled, and walked up to hug Courtney.
"I'll explain it later," Bridgette said. "It's my fault too."
"Oh, I already knew that," Courtney said, smiling.
"Speech over?" Nicole asked, a bit irritated. "Good. Who else is going to be safe for this week?"
"Oh, um…" Courtney trailed off, nervous. "I don't know."
Nicole shook her head. "It's really in the rules. I thought you'd be good at deciding."
"Just pick Lindsay," Bridgette said, smiling.
"Lindsay!" Courtney immediately exclaimed. "Lindsay's safe!"
Bridgette chuckled a bit. "You didn't have to answer quite that fast." Courtney looked embarrassed.
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: (embarrassed) I do have much to learn about social teenager interactions. It's a lot easier just to rule everyone, really. I don't know how teenagers can play this game every day.
Bridgette: Courtney's a nice person. I'm not sure she really knows how to be a teenager, sometimes, but she's trying to get along with everyone, and that really counts for a lot.
"Are you OK, Gwen?" Bridgette asked as she entered her cabin, with her hands in her pockets, and Gwen was in the corner, crying. "You're safe from elimination tonight."
"How?" Gwen asked, confused, though still crying. "I didn't even get to finish my painting."
"Nicole was watching from backstage. She said it was beautiful."
Gwen sniffled for a moment, and smiled slightly. "Thank you."
"Nicole said there were some people in the painting, but she couldn't tell who they were. I mean, can I ask, if it's OK, or not, if it's too--"
"Me, Trent, and Heather," Gwen said, still crying. "I didn't add much detail to us yet, but it was going to be me, Trent, and Heather, together."
"Heather?" Bridgette asked, surprised. "You're getting along with her?"
"Yes. I don't really know how she infected my brain, but for some reason, we really started getting along at the Playa' des Losers, and she's been through a lot, and I believe she's changed for real. She's been a good friend."
Bridgette smiled, though soon after, Gwen started screaming, and throwing some things around. "How the hell could Chris do that?! I was putting my heart and soul into that, and all destroyed! How could--how could--urgh!" Gwen was breathing heavy, and Bridgette was afraid, but slowly went up to hug Gwen.
"I'm sorry," Bridgette said, crying.
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: I really wish that we could vote Chris off. I swear, every time we think he's hit a new low, he goes out to prove to us all just how much more despicable he can be! Still, as we cannot vote off Chris, I choose Harold. He's been getting better, at least. Maybe Courtney can cure him completely when he gets back to the Playa' des Losers.
Tyler: I hate this. I really hate this, but I don't really have a lot of options. Bridgette, you're really nice and all, and I'm sorry I have to vote you off. You'll be with Geoff, at least, right?
Lindsay: Harold… I think? I think that was the name Courtney told me to vote for. She said he was being nicer, but he was still the right person to vote for, so I'll just trust what Courtney tells me to do!
Cody: I, personally, don't mind being outnumbered by the lovely ladies, except it puts us guys at a major disadvantage, and between Bridgette and Katie, I'm simply closer to Katie. I'm sorry, Bridgette, but you're still hot!
Chris was standing at his podium that night around the campfire, with a plate full of nine marshmallows. The eight contestants were seated on their tree stumps, as the Boat of Losers finally arrived at the Dock of Shame, dropping a couple of people off. Soon, everyone could see who Leshawna brought with her.
"Heather?" Courtney asked, confused. "You brought Heather back? That was… I can't say I saw that coming, but it is wonderful to have you back." Courtney walked over to hug Heather, followed by Lindsay.
"I missed you, Heather!" Lindsay exclaimed, squeezing Lindsay tight. "You were like so nice this year!"
Harold walked up to Heather, took her hand, and kissed it. "A kiss for m'lady." Heather smiled and giggled a bit.
"Heather!" Gwen exclaimed, walking up to Heather as well, and giving you a tight hug. "Can I ask what technicality you found to get on?"
"Believe it or not, Leshawna chose me to come back to compete," Heather said, smiling.
"You're kidding," Gwen said, raising an eyebrow. "For one, she's complete evil. And for two, she hates you!"
"We hated each other at one time, if I recall," Heather said teasingly, tapping her chin.
"Wait," Cody said, confused. "You two don't still hate each other?"
"Nope!" Heather exclaimed, as she and Gwen put an arm around each other, with Heather putting bunny ears behind Gwen.
Confession Outhouse
Cody: (in shock) Hell has officially frozen over.
Courtney: I'm feeling more than a little guilty about voting for Harold. I mean, seriously, who could have possibly predicted that Leshawna was going to bring Heather back?
"Anyway, Leshawna, you were safe," Chris said, handing Leshawna a marshmallow. "And not surprisingly, since no one would've ever guessed you were coming back tonight, Heather, you are also safe." Chris handed Heather a marshmallow, and she and Leshawna stepped over to the side. "When I call your name, come up and receive your marshmallow. On this plate, I have nine… um, seven marshmallows, and eight of you. The one who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back! Ever! And Izzy can confirm for you if you choose not to believe me that there is truly no one returning from this point on. Now for those who are safe:"
"Courtney."
"Gwen."
"Lindsay."
"Lindsay."
"Lindsay."
"Bueller."
"Bueller."
Tyler nudged Lindsay's arm. "Huh? Oh, right, safe, marshmallow. I kind of forgot." Lindsay smiled innocently as she walked up to get her marshmallow, and study it intensely. "It's cute, like a little baby, only more marshmallow-y!"
"Moving on," Chris said, irritated.
"Tyler."
"Cody."
"Katie."
Bridgette and Harold remained, sitting on their stumps, looking nervously to each other.
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: With Heather back, it was pretty lose-lose at that point, though personally, I was praying for Bridgette to be safe. I mean, I gave invincibility to Lindsay, but not Bridgette.
"One of you is safe," Chris stated ominously, holding up the final marshmallow in the palm of his hand. "The other of you is not. The one who does not get this marshmallow must immediately leave. And the person who is safe is…"
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"Bridgette."
Bridgette wiped her forehead, then turned to Harold. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too," Courtney said to Heather. "I swear, none of us had any clue that you were coming back tonight."
Heather sighed. "It's OK." Heather turned to Harold. "I guess you'll be leaving us."
Harold shrugged. "I had a good run. I don't suppose I get a kiss goodbye."
Heather rolled her eyes, then pulled Harold to her, and started kissing quite passionately, with most of the others finding it sweet, and Courtney holding Chris back from interrupting them.
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: Seriously, why does Chris want to interrupt them, anyway? It's like he cares more about bullying us than he cares about ratings! Aren't ratings supposed to be like his bread and butter?
Chris: (making grand gestures as he speaks) Hey, interrupting make-out sessions may cost a few viewers, but it's so much more rewarding to the soul.
Harold waved goodbye on the Boat of Losers, as Heather was waving and tearing up on the Dock of Shame, beside Leshawna, also waving goodbye, with the others on the edge of the island.
"They didn't mean to do it," Leshawna said, smiling.
"I know," Heather said, smiling as well.
"You really do have a lot of friends here," Leshawna said.
"Courtney seems to like you, so that's one," Heather said. "And, I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but you can count me as a friend, too."
Leshawna smiled as the two hug, leaving most of the other contestants confused.
"How stupid," Chris said, irritated, near the group of seven. "She used to be one of my favorite contestants, too. So much drama she caused last year, but now she's just a boring loser like Bridgette."
"I'm not boring!" Bridgette shouted.
"Stealing jokes is wrong," Chris said, irritated. "Irregardless, we are now down to nine players again. Nine players who are desperate to make it to the point where there are but eight players! Who will be the next person voted off? What exciting, original challenge do we have next for these miserable excuses of human life?"
"So says the guy who ruined Gwen's beautiful painting," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes. Courtney and Katie gave each other knowing winks.
"Never mind the extras," Chris said, angry. "Tune in for another challenge, and our most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, next time on Total Drama--"
"Heather!" Lindsay yelled, as Courtney and Katie tackled Chris. Lindsay clapped to herself and stuck out her tongue. "Like I was going to let you say Kyle."
"Chris!" Chris yelled, angry. "Can you get off of me now?"
Votes
Bridgette: Harold
Cody: Bridgette
Courtney: Harold
Gwen: Harold
Harold: Bridgette
Katie: Harold
Lindsay: Harold
Tyler: Bridgette
Harold: 5
Bridgette: 3
Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel, Trent, Harold
Remaining Contestants: Bridgette, Cody, Courtney, Gwen, Heather, Katie, Leshawna, Lindsay, Tyler
Yep… Heather came back just in time to see Harold off. And, indeed, don't expect anyone to come back. We're down to the final nine! Who's time will be up next?