~ Chapter Thirty-Four - Brittle Poise ~
[Odine's Laboratory, Chimera District, Tuesday, 28th of October, 8:42 am]
"Okay," Rinoa said, looking at herself in the rearview mirror of her sedan. "You can do this."
Her reflection didn't seem convinced. Frowning, she studied her face critically. Only a slight puffiness to her eyes remained, any lingering redness expertly concealed with a quick dab of makeup. She was determined not to show Seifer a single trace of sorrow or jealousy. She would handle this with poise and grace.
Somehow.
Pinching her cheeks to coax some more color into them, she let out a sigh. She hadn't slept well since breaking the bond and it showed in the lines of her face. When she did manage to fall asleep, more often than not she would startle awake in a panic, groping for a connection that was no longer there. It always took her a few seconds to remember.
Squall wasn't making things easy for her. Just thinking of him with Seifer wrenched her heart, summoning all manner of petty thoughts. Her earlier conversation with Squall repeated in her head over and over. Squall was in love with Seifer. They were together.
And the most frustrating part was that she could sort of see why. She couldn't even pretend that it was some rebound experiment doomed to fail or some cruel long con that Seifer was pulling on Squall. She'd come to know both men rather well, having dated one and loved the other. For all their differences, they had a lot in common. They'd shared a whole childhood together and years of SeeD training after that. They were forged from the same fire.
This was the real deal. Or at least it was for Squall.
"Get a hold of yourself," she admonished with a shake of the head. Her eyes were starting to sting again. Every time she thought she'd shed her last tears, she managed to prove herself wrong. She fanned her face with her hands and fought down the tightness that had started to constrict her throat.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Suck it up.
When she'd finally managed to regain enough calm, she put on her coat and scarf, grabbed her purse and got out of the car. She'd already scanned the parking lot when first pulling in and hadn't spotted Seifer's pickup truck yet. She'd made sure to be the first to arrive so she could have the time she needed to mentally prepare herself. Walking to the stairs in front of the lab building's entrance, she went to sit down on the highest step.
She immediately regretted it the moment she was overcome by an unsettling sense of déjà vu. The hour was around the same time she'd met Squall for the breaking of their bond. The wind had been sharp that morning too, tussling her loose hair and blowing it in her face as she'd sat waiting for her knight in that exact spot. Jumping back onto her feet, she pulled her hair up into a ponytail with a hair tie she found at the bottom of her purse. Shoving her hands into her pockets, she burrowed deeper into her scarf and walked back to the bottom of the stairs.
She cast a quick glance at her phone. Not that much longer now.
Unless Seifer would be late. It had been an annoying habit of the blond when they'd been dating. She'd always waited for him, stupidly gullible whenever he'd made his unlikely excuses. He'd stood her up more times than she could count. In retrospect she'd realized the guy had been a lousy boyfriend, but she'd been naive and crushing hard. He'd had that bad boy charisma down pat; the kind of over the top swagger and cockiness that would cause her to roll her eyes if she'd see it now. He'd been the perfect irritant to bring home to her father. Or so she'd thought. She'd gotten ahead of herself, dumped after only a brief summer fling.
She couldn't help but wonder if he was any more boyfriend material now than he'd been back then. Maybe he was different when dating someone he was actually attracted to. Maybe he'd grown up. Maybe he wouldn't treat Squall any better.
Scowling at the train of thought that seemed intent on painting Seifer in a bad light, Rinoa reminded herself that Squall hadn't been a saint either. Far more respectful, sure, and ever so loyal, but he'd rarely been around. Squall had been the epitome of distant and aloof. At least Seifer had slung his arm around her when they'd walked around town, pulling her close and making her feel special whenever he'd bothered to actually show up.
For a brief moment she wished that they'd be miserable together. Mr. Something-Came-Up and Mr. Never-Around. They deserved each other.
Catching herself, she winced at the return of such ugly thoughts. Poise and grace, she reminded herself, unclenching her fists as she inwardly repeated the mantra several times. She was here to help. Seifer needed her. No matter how hurt she was, she still cared for the aggravating blond. If she could help him cope even a little, then it would be worth it. And if he was going to be a permanent fixture in Squall's life, then she would need to learn how to be around him.
Her noble resolve to be the perfect ex-girlfriend was abruptly shattered when she spotted Seifer pulling into the parking lot. Her pulse sped up as her eyes followed the dark green pickup truck. She knew he wouldn't be happy to find her here. Taking a few steadying breaths, she conjured a pleasant and friendly expression.
He was walking towards the building now, but he hadn't spotted her yet. He didn't look like he was in the best of moods, his brow knotted into a frown. When he was within earshot, she waved and called out his name.
"Seifer!"
Looking up at the familiar voice, Seifer raised an eyebrow at the sight that greeted him. Mystified, he looked behind him to check if Squall was there only to realize that the raven-haired woman had called his name.
"Rinoa," he greeted with a frown while crossing the remaining distance. The fact that she didn't seem the least bit surprised to see him left him with a growing sense of unease.
"Good morning," Rinoa replied cordially, her gaze flitting over Seifer's appearance. He definitely looked like he'd been out on a bender all night, the circles under his eyes even worse than her own.
"What're you doing here?" Seifer asked, unable to muster the energy to put on a fake expression of friendliness himself.
"I figured you could use some company," the young woman said, as if it was a perfectly normal thing for her to do. "Believe me, I know how much it sucks to go in by yourself."
"You're here for me?" He wasn't sure his eyebrows could rise any higher.
"No, I'm here for Odine's sparkling conversation," Rinoa replied with an eye roll. "Of course I'm here for you." She shivered as another cold gust of wind swept her face. "Are you ready to go in? It's chilly out here."
Standing at the bottom of the steps, Seifer didn't know what to make of it. Why the hell was she there? Last they'd spoken, she'd hung up on him after holding back sobs when he'd asked her what Squall had felt for him that terrible night he'd first slept with Squall. So much had happened since then, but none of it made it more plausible for her to be standing here, waiting for him, wanting to accompany him for an appointment with Odine. How had she even found out he was going in today? Only two other people knew of his appointment: Laguna and Squall.
"Squall put you up to this," he accused lowly even though it made little sense.
"He knows what it's like," Rinoa said, rubbing her hands together. "And I don't want you to go in alone any more than he does. Now let's go."
Scowling at the realization that Squall didn't think he could handle a simple meeting with the imp on his own, Seifer stood still as Rinoa started up the stairs. She cast a look over her shoulder to check if he was coming. "I don't need a babysitter," he said sourly, moving to catch up with her.
"I'm not here to babysit. I'm here to help. Just like when you went in with Squall."
"I don't need any help. I can handle the imp just fine." When Rinoa just continued walking on ahead as if she hadn't even heard him, he groaned. "Any chance I can persuade you to leave?" he grumbled. It had been one of her annoying habits when they'd been dating to always insert herself whenever she thought he needed to be cheered up or distracted.
"None whatsoever," she replied sweetly, pushing open the door for him.
He'd so have Squall's ass for this. Not only did he have to deal with Odine, but now Rinoa as well. It was going to be awkward as hell. Their last few interactions had been strained to say the least. Shit, most of their conversations lately had ended with them yelling at each other. How in hell did Squall think her presence would help? If anything, the man should be worried about her figuring out just what they'd started.
He cursed under his breath as he walked through the large hall where he'd been waiting around for the meds with Laguna, then glanced at the young woman beside him. Her being there made no sense. He'd fought her in a war, had thrown her into the arms of a mad Sorceress and had slept with her boyfriend while she'd been able to feel it all. How the hell could she look past all that? But she didn't seem affected, just kept a composed front and looked determined. And she definitely knew her way around, taking the lead.
"Squall told me you come here a lot," he commented as he looked at her more closely.
Rinoa frowned, thinking back to all the times she'd come here alone. Squall had always tried to make her appointments, but more often than not he'd been away on missions. Just two weeks ago she'd had to go in on her own because his meeting had dragged on. But for Seifer, Squall had made sure someone would be there in his stead. Quelling the stab of jealousy, she refused to be bitter about it. Seifer's circumstances were different. "I'm afraid so," she answered belatedly.
Seifer knew things had to have been bad for that to be the case. As bad as an unhealing scar marring Squall's back. He immediately killed the thought. Anger over something that had happened over half a year ago, over an event that had nothing to do with him would not be of any help in this. "Not a fan of Odine either?"
Rinoa huffed. "He's a nasty little man," she said as they walked over to the hover lifts. "His patients are nothing more than test subjects to him. He only cares about his experiments. If it was up to him, I'd be permanently locked up in a research facility."
"Then he'd have two ex-knights and a president on his ass," Seifer said lowly, surprised by the strength of his resolve on the matter. "I'm not sure he'd fare so well."
The sentiment had Rinoa glance up at Seifer, her hand falling away from the hover lift's call button. Her smile became a little less feigned when she detected no lie in Seifer's statement. "Don't worry about it. Laguna keeps a tight leash on him, so Odine knows his limits," she reassured, before adding, "Well, most of the time anyway."
She received only a nod in reply, the man filing onto the lift's platform after her. She tried to read Seifer's demeanor, tried to find the signs that would confirm Squall's assessment of his mental state. "Did you sit through all of Squall's tests when you were last here?" she asked as the floors whizzed by on their ascent.
"Most," Seifer replied, thinking back to the day in question. It had been Hyne-damned boring, yet the outcome had changed his life for good. "The physical tests took the longest, but I'm not doing those. The magic tests mostly just involved casting spells of increasing strength."
Watching the slight frown play out on Seifer's brow, Rinoa could guess at what was going through his head. "Laguna told me it wasn't pretty. But Squall wasn't taking any meds at the time. You're both doing much better now, right?"
"Yeah, much better," Seifer agreed, his lips tugging upwards at the corners as he recalled their day out in the desert. "Did he tell you we went out to Behema Sands?"
"He didn't," Rinoa replied. Quistis had phoned her up and grilled her about it instead. That particular stretch of desert was deadly to anyone who went in without magic. She had been worried sick. A ding signaled the end of their ride up to Odine's lair, the force field that enclosed them falling away. Stepping off the lift platform, she looked at Seifer. "Your magic can't be all that bad if you made it back out."
Seifer nodded. "Squall was in great form. You should have seen him. He was a fucking god on that field." He recalled how Squall had slain the horde of Grand Mantises; how the man had created a path of solid ice for him as he'd rushed up onto the Catoblepas' back. "We cleared the mission in record time."
Rinoa's eyebrows rose further at such honest admiration. She knew firsthand just how impressive Squall was in battle, but she hadn't thought it possible for Seifer to acknowledge anyone's excellence but his own. "I guess this is just a formality then. To get you better meds?"
"I guess so," Seifer said, with a shrug, happy enough with the pills he was already on. "Odine said it might help to do a comparative study. Last time it didn't seem likely Squall would bounce back the way he has. I thought this could help. Maybe it still can."
Looking ahead to the big doors that would lead them into Odine's personal lab, Rinoa frowned. It sounded invasive and she'd bet Odine had greatly exaggerated the benefit to either ex-knight. "The situation has changed. You can't let Odine dictate the terms. Anything he suggests without outside cajoling is for his own benefit, trust me."
"I'm sure it is," Seifer said, pushing open the doors that had been manned by palace guards the last time he'd been here.
Following after Seifer, Rinoa let out a soft sigh at finding herself back at Odine's lab so soon. The feelings and memories associated with the place hadn't improved after the breaking of the bond. They moved through the first room filled with machinery and continued to where Odine waited, the man looking visibly excited when he jumped down from his desk chair, clipboard in hand.
"Mister Almasy," he said in a show of feigned welcome, the gleam in his eyes a tad too fanatical. His cheer lessened however when he spotted her at Seifer's side. "...and Miss Heartilly. To what do I owe ze pleasure? Your next appointment isn't for anozer week."
"It isn't," she agreed, unfazed. "I'm accompanying Seifer. I thought it might be helpful for him to have someone around who knows how this works. The commander himself suggested it."
Seifer watched as the doctor snorted and let out a "Yes yes," while making a dismissive hand gesture. Already he felt his temper flare, not one bit endeared by the doctor's welcome.
"His other guardian angel called just an hour ago. You can forego your posturing for today. Ze gentleman is quite safe wiz me."
Raising an eyebrow at Odine referring to Squall and who he assumed to be Laguna as his guardian angels, Seifer moved to stand tall in front of the doctor. He didn't need anyone's protection. "What's the plan?"
"I vill need ze same data zat I gathered for Commander Leonhart," Odine said, unperturbed. "Of course a true comparison vill be difficult due to ze medication and ze difference in time since ze breaking of ze bonds, but we may still glean a lot from ze results." He walked back to his desk, rifling through the papers on his clipboard. "We vill begin with an in-depth interview, followed with magic tests and after zat you're off to floor five. An assistant vill run you through ze standard physical tests."
"No physical," Seifer refused, crossing his arms. "There's no point. I'm at the top of my game."
"Is zat supposed to impress me?" Odine replied, glancing up from his papers. "Your top game, your worst; it's meaningless to me without a baseline to work with. Now if you will sit down." He pointed to the two chairs set up opposite to his desk. "Let's begin ze interview."
About to tell the doctor where to stuff his physical, Rinoa beat him to it. "He's in perfect health," she said with a tone of finality. "Put that in your file for a baseline. And let's get the magic tests out of the way first."
Seifer chuckled lowly at Rinoa's direct approach, realizing that this was most likely why Squall had enlisted her. Sneaky bastard.
Odine stared at her, a vein in his forehead popping ominously. "Does my scientific method displease you, miss Heartilly?" he said, his voice dripping with condescension. "Decades of dedication to ze field, hundreds of successful experiments, yet you know better?"
"What I know is that Seifer has to be somewhere else soon," she said tartly. "He doesn't have all morning. His recovery takes priority and the magic tests are key to that." She walked over and picked the clipboard out of Odine's hands, earning herself a scandalized look. "And I want to take a look at these questions first."
Seifer was lapping it all up—Rinoa's no-nonsense approach and Odine's growing incredulity. The way Odine's face was growing redder by the second was just the icing on the cake. Rinoa had definitely learned how to deal with the imp.
"Give zat back zis instant!" the doctor fumed angrily. "Zis is a violation of ze confidentiality between doctor and patient!"
Rinoa huffed and shook her head at that precious line. She still remembered how Odine had taken advantage of her fear and confusion during her first appointments with him, forcing her to answer some very personal questions about the nature of her bond and relationship with Squall.
"What do you say?" she said, glancing over at Seifer. "Do I have your permission to go over this and sheer it down to the essentials?" She let the many pages flip through her fingers to get her point across. "While you and Odine get started on the magic tests?"
Seifer widened his grin as the doctor launched into a shrill complaint.
"I vill do no such thing until you give back my questionnaire unmolested!"
"Feel free to take your grievances up with your boss," Rinoa said with a shrug. "But I'm sure we both know how that will end."
Odine reddened further with the effort it took to bite back the curses he no doubt wanted to fling at her. "Zis is no way to work! If ze results are skewed, let it be on your head!"
"I'm pretty sure it'll be on your head," Seifer commented with a smug smirk. Maybe a thank you was in order the next time he saw Squall after all. "I agree with Rinoa. Magic first, then questions, and sure," he said, looking over at Rinoa, "Trim away."
"There you have it," Rinoa said to Odine. "Now that you know what to do, let's get started."
The doctor cast her a particularly narrow-eyed look, too calculating for her liking. "No matter," he said, affecting a resigned nonchalance that did nothing to fool her. "He's not my only subject, and he certainly isn't ze most interesting."
His implication was clear. Dependent as she was on his help, she would be stuck with him long after Seifer and Squall had moved on with their treatments. Anything she did now to annoy the petty man, he would no doubt make her pay for in the future.
"How fortunate for you," she said evenly, before picking a black marker off his desk. She walked towards Seifer and met his gaze. "Ready?"
Seifer nodded, eager to get it over and done with. He hadn't missed Odine's underhanded tactic, how the doctor had implied he'd get Rinoa back for this. It made him want to throttle the imp again, but he swallowed the urge and focused on getting them out of there as soon as possible instead. "Where are we doing the magic tests? Same place as last time?"
"Such remarkable deductive skills, Mr. Almasy," Odine replied snidely. "It is a wonder I am needed at all." He stalked off without another glance, clearly expecting them to follow.
Rinoa rolled her eyes at the contrived insult. Seifer's eyes flashed with anger, but to her relief the blond refrained from taking the bait. They followed Odine to the magic testing chamber, the door already standing open to admit its newest occupant. Glancing at the reinforced glass window that offered a view of the chamber from the lab, Rinoa realized she'd never been on the observing side for this. The multitude of angry scratches that Griever had left behind on the glass were still there, an eerie reminder that this could still go wrong.
"In you go," the doctor said impatiently, waving his arms to herd Seifer inside.
Rinoa held out a hand and halted Seifer before he could walk into the chamber. "If you need to stop the tests, just give me a sign," she reassured. "I'll be right here. I can step in and draw your GF the moment you need me to." Even if she hadn't junctioned or touched minds with a GF since the war, she still had the ability to do this. She would keep him safe.
Holding Rinoa's gaze, realization dawned on Seifer. It hadn't just been Rinoa's experience with Odine that had led Squall to request Rinoa's help. She could draw. She could step in, the same way he had with Squall. He nodded, accepting the help he'd so blatantly refused upon spotting her at the lab.
Seifer's silent nod was all the agreement Rinoa needed. The boy she knew from her past would've interpreted her offer as a slight and would've declined with harsh words. Seifer had changed more than she'd initially given him credit for.
Watching as he walked into the chamber, she felt a sympathetic twinge of claustrophobia when Odine closed the heavy metal door behind the blond, but Seifer betrayed no sign of unease as he walked to stand on the blue dot painted on the floor. Rinoa held her breath. Beside her, Odine turned on the mic and addressed the man.
"I see here you have three GFs. Name zem." Yet another clipboard had found its way into Odine's hands, a pen held at the ready to take notes.
/Ifrit, Cerberus and Bahamut./
The doctor raised an eyebrow at the reply that came through the speakers. "If I'm correct in my assumptions about Ifrit, zen Garden has become very lenient in regards to theft indeed." He scribbled a few quick notes. "Now zere are some interesting passages about Bahamut in Centran lore. You claim to have tamed ze legendary creature?"
"Tests first, questions later," Rinoa reminded, speaking loud enough so that her voice would carry over the mike for Seifer to hear.
Odine let out a long and suffering sigh, before he spoke again. "Name and junction ze GF with ze highest compatibility rating "
/Bahamut./
The doctor looked excited at that, his gaze evenly distributed between his machines' readings and his test subject. Rinoa pushed back her annoyance with the man and kept a close study of Seifer's face. His eyes turned a soft glowing amber, the color much warmer than the icy silver of Squall's junction with Shiva.
"Cast on my order, over ze red mark," the doctor said, adjusting a final few dials and settings. "Fire."
Rinoa's tension eased when the Fire spell materialized a split second after Odine's order, right where it was supposed to. Seifer didn't look like he'd strained himself at all. Odine ordered a few more of the basic spells before he transitioned into the next level.
"Fira!"
The greater ball of flame whooshed into the air, perfectly timed, perfectly aimed. Rinoa hadn't detected any sign yet that Seifer was less than in perfect control. Keeping half an eye on the proceedings, she turned her attention to the clipboard in her hands. Odine was sufficiently distracted for her to get this done with minimal interference.
Uncapping the marker, she held it at the ready and read over the first page. She frowned when she discovered that more than half of the questions were either intrusive, upsetting or plain inappropriate. But to be fair, Odine couldn't possibly anticipate the upsetting nature of some of these questions.
When did you first meet your sorceress?
The answer to that very question was exactly what had driven Seifer to drown his past in alcohol, just the previous night. Things had gotten ugly enough for Squall to call her for help. Squall never called her for help.
She crossed out the question with a few vehement swipes of the thick marker and continued skimming question after question. Some were difficult to gauge when considering them from the point of view of someone who'd suffered trauma. Anything could be a trigger when looked at like that. She decided to leave the mostly innocent and factual questions for now, while crossing out the more intrusive and subjective questions that required lengthy replies. During the actual interview, she'd just have to intervene the moment she sensed Odine was pushing Seifer beyond what he could handle.
Her frown deepened as some of the questions lingered in her mind, seeding horrible suspicions and fears.
What was the nature of your relationship with your sorceress?
Were you romantically involved? o Yes o No / If yes, elaborate:
Were you sexually involved? o Yes o No / If yes, elaborate:
Dragging her marker across the questions and the whole section that followed, she glanced up to let her gaze rest on Seifer, the blond still effortlessly casting the spells Odine was announcing into the mic. She hoped with all her heart that nothing of the sort had happened. There had to be such a thing as a platonic bond between sorceress and knight, even if her own experience hadn't been like that.
Did she take control of your actions? o Yes o No / If yes, elaborate:
Did you ever try to resist the bond? o Yes o No / If yes, elaborate:
Rinoa wasn't sure whether Seifer even knew the answer to those questions. It was the very reason Squall was taking him to Winhill; to find out the truth. She crossed them out.
The next section of questions made her heart squeeze painfully in her chest, this time with more than just sympathy for Seifer. She couldn't help but wonder whether her own bond with Squall had inspired Odine to add these. In fact, she was certain of it.
Did you ever injure her? o Yes o No / If yes, how did it affect the bond?
Did she ever injure you? o Yes o No / If yes, how did it affect the bond?
If you sustained injury, did it affect the bond? Did it affect her?
Could you feel it when she sustained injury? o Yes o No / If yes, elaborate:
She stared at the second question, the words accusing her and daring her to censure them with the black marker. Despite her love for Squall, she had hurt her knight almost irrevocably. Even the best of intentions and the deepest of affection hadn't been able to stop her bond from turning malicious. She was afraid to imagine what someone as depraved as Ultimecia might have done to Seifer.
Her grip on the marker became white-knuckled as she crossed out question after question, until she'd reduced the list to less than half of its original length. It had left her drained just to consider each query, to imagine the things Seifer must have endured. She'd made the right choice to handle things this way. Glancing up, she hoped neither man had bothered to look at her during the tests. She quickly dabbed at her eyes and cleared her throat, to try and dislodge the thickness that had settled there.
Poise and grace.
Refocusing her full attention on the magic tests, she was relieved to see Seifer was still doing well. Odine was having him cast higher tier spells already, at rapid intervals that were far faster than any standard SeeD magic test. Some of the spells were starting to flicker mildly, coming in with slight second long delays. That wasn't bad at all considering Seifer was firing off Firaga after Blizzaga, alternating between the two with an impressive speed.
Going by the sheen of sweat on Seifer's brow and the jacket that had been discarded to the floor, it had to be stiflingly hot and humid in the testing chamber as a result of the constant back and forth between fire and ice. Rinoa suspected too late that Odine was most likely doing it on purpose.
"How much longer does he have to do this?" she asked, not liking the avid little curl to Odine's lips as he watched Seifer.
"Oh, I suppose I have enough data," he yielded far too easily.
It had been on purpose then. Rinoa frowned, chiding herself for becoming too engrossed in the list of questions.
The doctor bent over to speak into the mic again. "Ve are moving on to summoning next. Are ze dimensions of ze testing chamber sufficient to allow for Bahamut's materialization?"
/Only Ifrit will fit in here./
Rinoa raised an eyebrow at the thought of summoning a creature as temperamental as Ifrit into such a small room. "Is that really necessary?"
The doctor sent her an unpleasant smile. "As you vell know, magic is a two-pronged ability for anyone zat isn't a sorceress. Spells and summons. I've observed patients with abysmal casting abilities and excellent GF compatibility scores, and vice versa. Ve must exclude that ze same might be true of Mr. Almasy."
The explanation actually made sense for once, and the insufferable glint to Odine's eyes told her that the man knew it. He waited for her go-ahead with a feigned obedience that grated at her nerves. Rinoa sighed and nodded. "Fine."
The doctor immediately bent over to relay his next order. "Junction and summon Ifrit."
Rinoa held her breath when Seifer narrowed his eyes in focus, drawing the fire demon into the world. A whirling chasm of lava and fire opened up beside him. She could hear Ifrit's roar before she could see him. The moment the beast stepped into view, the moisture in the test chamber's air seemed to sizzle and evaporate with a hiss against Ifrit's red hot skin, creating condensation against the observation window. She could feel the heat even from where she was standing, on the other side of the protective layers of glass and magic. Seifer was protected only by his connection with the beast.
Ifrit moved to stand beside Seifer and crossed his huge arms, the beast's intense gaze never straying from Odine. Again, it was clear that Seifer was in complete control of the situation and his GF.
Letting out her breath, Rinoa glanced at Odine. If the scientist was at all nervous about being stared at by a fire demon, then the man wasn't betraying it. Not for the first time, she wondered how quickly Odine's courage would fail him the moment his technology and protective magic failed him; how easily he'd be able to dismiss his 'subjects' then.
"Order your GF to cast a spell," the doctor pushed on, undeterred. "Preferably one that von't destroy my test chamber."
Ifrit let out a derisive snort that trailed smoking wisps into the air, before the fire demon brought up a lazy clawed hand and conjured a ball of flame to dance above his open palm. The ball immediately began to writhe and quake with its desire to be hurled free, towards Odine.
/Is that all?/ Seifer's impatient voice sounded over the speaker.
"Yes yes," Odine relented. "I suppose I have all ze data I need for now. I vill unlock ze chamber once you have dismissed and unjunctioned ze GF."
So Ifrit had managed to unsettle him after all. Rinoa smiled when she spotted the knowing curl to Seifer's lips, the blond clearly not worried about his potential confinement. He shared a final look with his fire demon before Ifrit stepped back into the scorching chasm he'd come from, leaving behind fiery embers to drift in the air. The sudden absence of Ifrit's heat felt like stepping away from a roaring campfire, leaving her suddenly chilled.
The sound of the test chamber unbolting was followed by the door sliding aside, releasing a hot gust of air. Seifer emerged with his jacket slung over his arm, looking only slightly worse for the wear because of the heat. His shirt clung damply to his chest, but other than that he looked perfectly fine.
Rinoa smiled and walked towards him. "You did great!"
Stopping in front of her, Seifer smiled warmly at her enthusiasm and hummed in agreement. He hadn't expected it to pose any problems after his amazing day out in the desert with Squall, but after years of being punished every time he cast the most simple of spells, he still felt that brief twinge of worry before casting.
"Thanks to ze medications I have provided, no doubt," Odine piped up, ruining the happy moment.
Rinoa sighed and leveled the spiteful man with an annoyed look. "I'm sure you won't mind prescribing him something more tailored to his needs then."
"Yes yes," the doctor said with an eye roll, looking away to focus on several printouts that were being spewed out by a nearby machine. "Ze Commander's new and improved pills are already prepared and my chemists are on standby to implement my advised dosages for Mr. Almasy." He poured over the papers of endless data. "I foresee ve can manage at least a fifteen percent increase in efficacy for both."
Seifer had to smile at that. Even Squall would have trouble controlling the corner of his lips at such good news. He couldn't wait to tell him. "That leaves the questions," he said, his smile quickly fading. That was the part he'd dreaded the most and he was sorely tempted to skip it. But there was no way he'd live down a decision like that. The fact that it might help Squall meant he had to do it. Squall was sharing his memories with him, was taking him across continents to try and help him. Answering a few questions about his past was the least he could do in return.
Odine looked up, effectively pulled from his study of the new results. "I vill need my terminal to make notes as ve proceed," he announced before hurrying off towards where they'd come from with renewed vigor and hopping onto the chair at his desk. The moment they sat down across from him, the doctor snatched the question list back from Rinoa's hands, only to stare at it balefully. "Thorough, aren't you?" he said sourly, sending her a glare.
"This is the way it's going to be." Rinoa fixed the doctor with an equally firm look.
"If ve must," he said with a suffering sigh, sounding not nearly defeated enough. Rinoa narrowed her eyes, but she could only wait the man out for now.
"State ze name of your Sorceress."
It took a moment for Seifer to steel himself. "Ultimecia." The mere name left a bitter taste. He hated talking about her, hated talking about his past. Even though he'd spoken more about it in the past two weeks than the last two years, it hadn't gotten any easier and the revelations from last night weren't helping at all. Since waking up, he'd refused to face that particular truth and he absolutely refused to do so now too. Even for Squall.
"How old vere you ven ze bond was formed?"
Seifer kept his answer to the point. "Eighteen."
"And her age?" the doctor asked next.
"Mid forties, I guess."
Odine looked up at the imprecise reply. "Zat sounds like an estimate. Do you refer to Ultimecia herself or her vessel?" he asked, leaning forward avidly. "So far I have not been able to discern her real age."
Seifer grimaced. "I have no fucking clue how old the real bitch was," he said sourly, disgusted at having to think of her at all. "Never saw her, but I'm sure she was a hell of a lot older."
Undeterred by the colorful language, Odine gave a nod and made his notes. "Zat is my opinion also. A sorceress of her ability vould require decades to ascend to such magical prowess."
Rinoa frowned at the faintly admiring tone to Odine's voice, though she was hardly surprised. The man claimed to have served Adel only under duress, but she knew better. The man didn't care about politics or human rights, as long as he could do his research. No doubt Odine found her a very disappointing sorceress in comparison.
"Ven vas ze bond formed?"
Seifer had to think back on it. He hadn't counted the months or kept track of time, burying it all as deeply as possible. "Two and a half years ago, give or take."
Odine's brow gave a twitch. "It vould seem precision is beyond you," he muttered under his breath, then launched into a series of questions. "Describe ze process. Vat did it feel like? Vas it a mutual decision?"
Seifer forced himself to face the memories. "By the time I agreed to be her knight, she was already speaking inside my mind. Seemed like a promotion, a title, really. She told me it'd enhance my magic and make me stronger."
"Most interesting," the doctor replied, entering the new data into his terminal. "She chose to manipulate you from ze start."
Rinoa felt like smacking the doctor for his lack of tact, but his immediate conclusion sounded like it could actually be helpful. "What makes you say that?" she said, standing up to look at what he'd entered into Seifer's file. "Indications of a skewed balance of power," she read out loud.
Odine frowned at the interruption and the question he clearly considered stupid. "It is quite obvious. Ultimecia most definitely knew what a bond entailed, yet she withheld ze information. Zat means zere was no informed consent." He tapped his screen, sounding as if he was reeling off a lesson to toddlers. "It vas also a vell documented and favored method of hers to speak directly into ze minds of zose she vished to manipulate and promise zem power. It vas how she von over Dinzer and ultimately, Galbadia."
He turned to look at Seifer again. "Vat did ze bond feel like and how long did it last?"
"It's hard to explain, really," Seifer said, recalling how it was mostly his own thoughts and actions that had started to change. None of it had really felt like her. "Like a vague constant presence. Communication without words. Even over distances. It lasted for the duration of the war."
"Was zere any emotional transference? Did you have a sense of her vereabouts? What waz her presence in your mind like?"
Seifer brought a hand up to scratch at his chin and eyed Odine carefully. "I had an idea of where she was." He thought harder, his muscles tensing as he prodded at the memories. Different aspects of their bond were emerging. Aspects he'd tried his best to forget. "She knew my thoughts," he said, remembering how that feeling of constantly being watched had lingered for months after he'd come to. "I could feel her emotions." Her anger and hatred. Her disappointment when he'd failed her.
A shiver ran down Rinoa's spine as she remembered the malevolent touch of Ultimecia's mind. She couldn't imagine being exposed to something like that for over a longer period of time. For the first time Seifer had faltered, his voice less composed, his expression set in a grimace. She sat straighter, keeping close watch.
"Vould you say zat Ultimecia had total control of ven and how she made herself known in your mind, while you had no way of shielding yourself from her intrusions?"
"Yes," he stated cooly.
Odine made an entry in his terminal and nodded with satisfaction. "Zen ve have found our first consistency."
Rinoa drew in a tremulous breath, unable to look Seifer's way. She hated being anything like Ultimecia at all. She deeply regretted every moment of lost control that had made her encroach on Squall's privacy and mind like that. Thinking back, it seemed so unreal she had ever been able to do such a thing.
"Ze balance of power is most definitely skewed in favor of ze sorceress," Odine prattled on, unaware of her distress as he turned to address her. "My next question is obvious, even if you have chosen to eliminate it. Ze answer is key to understanding ze nature of zis particular bond."
Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Go on."
"Did Ultimecia impose her own vill upon you or deny you your own?"
Gritting his teeth, Seifer recalled the feelings of utter despair that had consumed him the times he'd tried to escape. "Yes," he let out darkly.
"Describe an instance ven she—"
"No," Rinoa interrupted, having rallied from her self-pity. One moment of weakness and Odine was already taking advantage, causing a look of pain on Seifer's face. "He answered your question. Move on to the next and stick to your list."
The warning that he could damned well speak for himself stayed locked on Seifer's tongue. Rinoa looked as fierce as a Torama, ready to pounce as she carefully eyed her prey.
Odine glared back at her. "Such shallow answers are nowhere near enough to arrive at a complete understanding of his bond viz Ultimecia."
"You don't need to understand completely," Rinoa snapped, her patience starting to wear thin. "You need to know just enough to be able to help him. I think we're done." She pushed up from her chair.
The doctor blinked at her threat, grasping her sincerity. "Let's not be too hasty," he rushed to say. "I have a final few questions zat are paramount to determining his treatment."
She studied him coolly before sitting back down. "Make it quick."
Seifer raised an eyebrow at the show that had just unfolded before him. It was absurd to watch Rinoa fight his battle. Just like the way Quistis and himself had utterly ignored Squall as they'd both stood their ground to fight over what they thought was best for Squall. Protection. That's what it boiled down to and it left him baffled.
"How did ze bond end?" the doctor asked, looking directly at him.
"She died," he supplied sternly.
"How vas your sorceress killed and vat vas your location at ze time? Vere you aware of ze severing?" Odine continued, definitely not taking the hint, but the doctor rushed to explain at the glare he received from Rinoa and himself. "Ze nature of ze severing might be of importance. It is ze event zat precipitated ze distortion of your magic abilities."
Seifer looked away as he recalled those moments. He'd been bleeding heavily, the dizziness from blood loss blurring his memories. Fu had been pleading with him to stay with them as she and Raijin had hauled him off the Lunatic Pandora. He forced himself to try and explain.
"I don't know how she died," he began. "Magic, weapons, whatever. SeeDs killed her," he said lowly, then caught himself digging his fingers into his thighs. He relaxed them slowly and looked back up, straight into the doctor's eyes. "I wasn't with her," he said, but the pain that had lashed through him was still all too clear. Her emotions had eclipsed his own. "I felt her pain, her panic… I don't remember anything after that."
Rinoa wished she could take Seifer's hand to show her support, but he didn't look like he'd welcome any touch in that moment. Her guilt stirred again when she realized she'd never even considered how Seifer had made it out of that final, terrible battle. They'd left him behind in the Lunatic Pandora, pushing on to the next obstacle without looking back, despite the man's serious injuries. The horrible reality of their actions suddenly caught up with her, and she was beginning to understand Squall's plight. He'd been the one on the forefront, calling the shots.
"How did you come to?" she heard Odine ask, distracting her from her guilty conscience.
Seifer sighed. The specifics eluded him, but Fujin had been there. "At my friends' place," he said, once more reminded of just how much he owed them. "I kept drifting in and out of consciousness. When I finally came to, they told me I'd been out of it for almost a month. Took a while to retrain."
Odine hummed in acknowledgement. "A far longer convalescence zan ze Commander," he noted, looking up from his screen. "Vas zis due to injury or ze bond? Or both?"
"Both," Seifer said, remembering how the weeks after he had regained consciousness had been riddled with nightmares and headaches. Vivid flashes from the war and sudden bouts of vomiting. His physical wounds had healed much faster. "I couldn't use magic. If I tried to, I threw up and got a motherfucker of a headache," he paused briefly, but knew Odine would ask about the duration anyway. "It lasted until you gave me those meds."
"Ze Commander suffered a host of side effects as ze result of a far less traumatic severing. Surely zere must be more." The doctor handed him the clipboard with questions, tapping at a list of symptoms. "Are any of zese familiar?"
Perusing the list, Seifer frowned. "I slept a lot, had nightmares," he said, but couldn't really recall any of the other side effects on the list. "It's hard to tell since I don't really remember anything from the first month after her death."
"It is possible you shared ze Commander's symptoms without any memory of zem, but ve vill have to make do with ze data at hand zen," Odine said with a sigh. "For now ve vill treat ze symptoms zat have persisted. Wiz time you should be able to lower ze dose and most likely not need zem at all. If you are diligent in your training, zat is." The doctor typed a final few entries and clicked away at his terminal, before he took up the phone on his desk without warning. "I sent you ze specifications for ze new drugs," he barked into the open line. "Have it sent down to ze lobby."
Hanging up, he looked between his two guests. "Zere. As you requested."
"So we're done?" Seifer asked.
"We are. A productive first appointment indeed," Odine replied in an almost pleasant tone, his agenda glaringly obvious. "Contact my assistants for a follow-up in a month's time."
Seifer shook his head as he pushed up from his chair. "Not gonna happen." He'd gotten what he needed. "Which reminds me. The Commander can't make it on Thursday." Watching the doctor's face grow red was entirely satisfying after what he'd just had to sit through.
"And vat is ze reason for zis?"
"He's going on holiday," Seifer said, sending the doctor a smirk.
The red flush to Odine's face grew deeper. "And zis holiday is more important zan his recovery? Zan our understanding of bonds? My lab is not some common apothecary zat vill dispense state-funded next-gen pharmaceuticals at your leisure and convenience. I am a scientist. My help comes viz strings attached. Zat has always been ze deal!"
"Not today," Rinoa said firmly, getting up from her chair as well. "Thank you for your help, Odine." She turned to Seifer, more than ready to leave. "Let's go."
Sparing the doctor one last grin, Seifer turned to Rinoa. "Let's," he agreed, a genuine smile on his lips, but the smile she sent back didn't quite reach her eyes. She still looked fierce but there was an underlying current of concern and sadness that hadn't been there before. He hadn't really stopped to consider it as he'd answered Odine's questions; how she would be taking it all in too. He didn't even think he'd said anything too revealing. He'd just stated the facts. But he could see it plainly enough. Her pity. Letting out a sigh, he tuned out Odine's mumbled rant of displeasure as he turned and walked towards the hover lift.
Following after Seifer, Rinoa fell into step beside the blond and stole a glance of his tense expression. Stepping onto the lift, she pressed the button that would take them back down to the lobby. The force field pulled up around them, giving them their first moment of privacy since entering Odine's personal lab.
"What's the matter?"
"You shouldn't have come," Seifer said without meeting her gaze. He knew full well she'd been a great help, but he didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him, not when he'd been the one to do all the damage. "I don't want your pity."
"You sound just like Squall." Rinoa wasn't sure what had instilled this destructive notion in their heads; that feelings were a liability and that to show them or to accept help to deal with them implied some kind of failure. "You call it pity. I call it compassion," she continued gently but firmly. "It's what sets us apart from psychopaths like Ultimecia. I care about you, so of course I hurt for what happened to you. It's human. I know you'd feel the same for me."
Not immediately replying, Seifer watched the floors whiz by. Whatever name Rinoa put to it, it didn't matter. Pity or compassion, they both dealt with a past better left forgotten. Moving on had always been the better option. Even so, Rinoa had shown him a new side to herself that day. "You've certainly learned how to handle the imp."
The change in subject wasn't subtle at all, but Rinoa let it slide. "I've had to," she said with a shrug and smile. "With Odine, you either learn to swim fast or you drown."
"I bet," Seifer said as the lift came to a halt on the ground floor.
Stepping into the lobby, Rinoa felt some of her tension fall away now that there was a good distance between herself and Odine. She allowed herself a tentative sense of relief. Things had gone well considering the circumstances. She had done what Squall had asked of her.
Walking over to one of several vending machines for waiting visitors, she got out her wallet and popped in enough coins for two cups of coffee. If her memory served her correctly, Seifer took his black. Returning to Seifer, she held out a cup. "Here's to your first and last appointment with Dr. Odine," she said with a smile. "Congratulations on making it through without throwing a single punch."
Letting out a laugh despite himself, Seifer brought the black liquid to his lips. Hyne, he needed it if he was to make it onto that train. "Didn't think it possible."
Rinoa wrapped her hands around her cup, her smile widening at hearing Seifer laugh. It had been such a long time. "So what's next on today's schedule? When's your train?"
"Twelve-thirty." Seifer looked up at the big clock by the reception desk. 11:08 am. He still had little over an hour to go. "Got one long-ass train journey ahead of us. It'll be boring as fuck. At least we'll be able to catch up on sleep."
"You haven't been getting much of that?" Rinoa asked, familiar enough with the particular joys of insomnia and sleep deprivation. And Squall had told her how Seifer had been out all night, drinking himself into a stupor. Not the best coping mechanism.
"No." Seifer took another large sip of his coffee. "Especially not last night. Quistis came by."
Rinoa let out a soft groan. "Squall told me. She'll probably show up on my doorstep this afternoon as well. Not looking forward to that."
Seifer looked at her with sympathy. Quistis was going to chew her out. "Too late to turn tail?"
"Nah. It's better to face her and hash things out." Rinoa let out a sigh, chagrined at the prospect of having to deal with the unfair woman. "She's never liked me much, you know."
"Don't think she ever liked anyone much. Apart from her favorite student."
Rinoa let out a huff at that. At first she'd suspected that jealousy was the reason behind Quistis's dislike of her. Maybe that's how it started, but she doubted the woman was that spiteful. Far more likely was that Quistis had judged her actions and had deemed her lacking. She wasn't even all that sure she disagreed.
"So you talked to Squall this morning?"
Looking up at the question, she found Seifer studying her closely and gave a nod. She'd rather not think about her phone call with Squall, hating the jealousy it brought back to the forefront of her mind. It seemed beyond petty and inappropriate after having stood by the blond. "He asked me to come here today. To help you out," she said after a moment. "Please don't blame him for it."
Seifer nodded. He still wanted to make Squall pay for going behind his back like that, but in the end he couldn't blame the man. He would have done the same. What surprised him more was Squall actually having asked someone for help. And Rinoa saying yes. Suffering through Odine's presence without absolutely having to merited a fucking medal. "If you ever need help with the imp, let me know." It was the least he could do.
"I'll keep that in mind, but I've got it covered for now," Rinoa answered with a smile, and then an idea occurred to her. "I will need some help moving though. Think you'd be up for that?"
Seifer raised an eyebrow at the unlikely request, but there was no way he could deny her. "Sure. Where are you moving to?"
"I'm moving in with a friend. She lives in Elvoret District. I still have some packing to do and some stuff to sell, so it'll be another few weeks at least." Rinoa finished the last of her coffee, briefly wondering if she was insane to keep insinuating herself into the lives of her two exes like this. "Give me a call when you're back from your trip?"
Looking up from his now empty cup, Seifer met her gaze. "I will."
Spotting the approach of a lab worker carrying a paper bag, Rinoa gestured at Seifer when the assistant walked up to them. They'd part soon now, her window of opportunity rapidly shrinking.
"Here you go, sir."
Taking the bag of meds from the assistant's hand, Seifer nodded in dismissal, then looked back at her. Rinoa teetered on the edge of indecision, uncertain whether it would be wise to bring up Squall, but perhaps it would be better to have it all out in the open.
"Want another cup?" Seifer offered, indicating the empty one in her hand. "To go."
"I'm good," she said with a shake of her head, steeling herself as she met Seifer's gaze. "Just one last thing." She kept her tone even, her expression calm. This was her last chance before Squall went off to Galbadia with the man for a whole week. "You don't have to hide what's going on."
Seifer tensed but quickly masked the reaction. He was pretty sure he knew exactly where Rinoa was steering the conversation and he definitely wasn't in the mood to go there. "What do you mean?"
"You and Squall," Rinoa replied simply, leaving no room for skirting the issue, but Seifer just looked at her with a stubbornly unfazed expression. "I know you're sleeping with him," she stated matter-of-fact. "It isn't easy and I'll need time to work through this, but I'm dealing. The last thing I want is for either of you to lie to me and pretend that nothing's going on. I won't break. I'm stronger than that."
Seifer looked away. She sounded sincere. At first he'd thought she was trying to get him to confess, but she sounded one-hundred percent certain in her knowledge. She was struggling with it yet had forced herself to speak the words. What the hell did you say to that? He wished he could stall his reaction by taking another sip, but tough fucking luck. "So you know."
"I do," Rinoa said. Though the confirmation was no longer a shock, it was still painful. "It doesn't change the fact that I still want to try to be his friend. And yours."
Taking a moment to fully understand what Rinoa was saying, Seifer just stared at her. Somehow she was able to look past everything. She'd known they'd started something, yet she'd still shown up at Odine's. She'd still asked him to help out with her move. "You want us to be friends?" he asked, incredulous.
"I'd like that," Rinoa said, surprising herself."We used to get along, didn't we?" she added cautiously. Even if Seifer had never been attracted to her, she refused to believe that everything had been feigned. The times they'd hung out and laughed together; those had been real.
A small smile stole onto Seifer's lips. "We did," he said, remembering some of the affection he'd felt for her. "Not your fault your exes are so fucking oblivious."
Taken off guard by the almost joking remark, Rinoa wasn't sure she was quite ready for such levity. At least he was right about one thing. What had happened between Seifer and her hadn't been her fault. "Hyne, I was so confused," she said with a huff, recalling how hurt and insecure she'd been when Seifer had bailed after their botched attempt at sex. "You know, I wouldn't have been nearly as angry if you'd just told me what was going on with you."
"Shit," Seifer said, shaking his head lightly. "I had no fucking clue what the hell was going on back then." The only thing he remembered was how he'd needed to get away from her as soon possible. "I only figured it out after I moved here."
Rinoa raised an eyebrow at that. "Really?" Even if she'd never been certain, the suspicion that Seifer might be gay had definitely crossed her mind long before the man had shown up in Squall's life again. "So back at Garden, with Squall around… You never realized?" It was so hard to believe they hadn't been involved before the war. What she'd felt from Squall that one horrible night couldn't possibly have sprouted from thin air.
"Nope," Seifer admitted honestly, somewhat amused at just how dense he'd been. "You'd think I'd have caught on with my inability to leave him alone."
Rinoa wondered if it could be that simple. An affection born long ago but never realized. Squall was definitely the clueless type to suppress any and all feelings, but she hadn't quite expected the same of Seifer. "And now?"
"Now I know better," Seifer said with a shrug. The time in Esthar had changed him drastically. Just one proposition from Calder and he'd readily accepted the truth about himself. It hadn't taken long for him to put two and two together and realize just what had caused his obsession with Squall. "There's no fucking way I would've followed her if Squall and I had started something back then."
Rinoa's eyebrows climbed high at the statement. When they'd been dating, Seifer had often talked about his desire to leave Garden and make his own way, firm in his belief that everybody there had only ever held him back. To think Squall could have been the only incentive Seifer might've needed to stay despite all that…
"We can't change the past," she said soberly, "but we can make the right choices now."
Seifer nodded but refrained from saying anything. His past choices had been the bane of his life and even those had seemed right at the time. And the decision he was facing now, to go to Winhill or not, didn't really feel like a choice at all. They had to. Simple as that. He looked toward the exit. "Come on, let's get out of here."
Following Seifer towards the exit, Rinoa glanced at him from the corner of her eyes. She'd come here as a favor to Squall despite her many misgivings, but somehow she'd come out of the experience with the unexpected resolve to befriend Seifer as well. "Good luck in Winhill," she said sincerely, hoping they'd find the answers they were looking for, and that Seifer would find some peace of mind. "You'll be in good hands with Ellone. She's the best."
"Can't say I'm looking forward to it," Seifer admitted, the cold air greeting them as they stepped outside.
Rinoa looked at Seifer with compassion. She didn't envy them one bit. Their task wasn't an easy one, but after the morning she'd just had, she realized that it was absolutely imperative that they go. "Sometimes pain is a necessary part of healing."
Taking the last step down the front stairs, Seifer glanced at the woman. She clearly understood what they'd be doing. There were so many ways in which it could go wrong. He sighed. "I hope it'll be worth it."
"I'm sure it will be," Rinoa said, wanting to encourage. Squall would make sure of it. "Just take it one step at a time."
Seifer hummed in agreement and came to a stop right by the entrance to the car park. "Take care, Rinoa."
Rinoa's heart constricted in her chest, demanding more than a few feeble words spoken in parting. Their brief conversation had only scratched the surface and she needed Seifer to know she cared for him, that she wished him well. Stepping close, she drew him into a firm hug, half expecting to be rebuffed immediately. Instead she found herself squeezed tightly in his arms, the blond returning her hug.
Don't cry.
Letting go, she stepped back and sent him a beaming smile. "Take care, Seifer," she said, echoing his sentiment.
Taking in the wide smile on Rinoa's lips and the glistening sheen to her eyes, Seifer remained in place as she turned and left. He breathed in the chill air and felt his exhaustion even more clearly now that he didn't have to put up a front. Her sentiment still echoed in his thoughts, that she wanted to be his friend. She'd stood by him, had helped him even though she knew. He couldn't imagine ever being as forgiving. If it had been the other way around he would have done everything he could to thwart his competition. Yet there she'd been, ready to support and protect him. And just like Squall she seemed unwavering in her resolve. He ran a hand through his hair and sucked in a deep breath. It didn't even come as a surprise anymore that he wanted to be her friend too.
They'd been good together if discounting the sex. She'd been the perfect distraction when things at Garden had started to turn south. An escape that took him away and made him forget. They'd laughed together and she'd been honest in her admiration. She'd always believed in his strengths, when his instructors and peers had only ever pointed out his flaws. He strode over to where he'd parked his pickup, deciding that he'd do his part in making things easy for her. If she wanted him to be her friend, he'd be just that. If she needed space, he'd give her that instead.
Unlocking his pickup, he got into the driver's seat. He still couldn't believe Squall had actually called her for help though. It seemed so unlikely, so wildly out of character. He ran a hand over his face, tried to quell some of his shame. He'd forced Squall's hand. After his fucked up return the night before, Squall had been worried enough to seek Rinoa's aid. But why? To protect him? To make sure he wouldn't crack? He ran his finger over the thin line of scar tissue that crossed the bridge of his nose. Squall's composed behavior that morning had been a front, that much was obvious now. He should've fucking kissed the man and not let him wander off without any reassurances. Squall's feelings for him went much deeper than he'd ever dared imagine.
He'd see Squall soon. They'd be heading to Galbadia together. He'd take every single moment with Squall that he could and make each one count. Turning on the ignition, he placed his hands firmly on the steering wheel and pulled out of the parking lot. It was time to go to Winhill.
~ o ~