A/N: Well the nightmare of my studying for my promotion test is done and over with finally, so I should be able to get back to my quicker updating schedule from here on out, provided the muse cooperates. Thanks so much for continuing to read and review : ) It means the world to me. Seriously… you should see me squee every time I get a new one.

Chapter 34

Hatter wrapped his arms around Alice's waist, pulling her back snuggly against his front and gave a suggestive roll of his hips, "Now that all the visitors have gone..." he murmured as he nuzzled her ear.

Alice smiled and closed her eyes, taking a moment to enjoy having his strong arms around her, "Hatter, how can you think about that when-" she broke off with a gasp when his hands moved expertly over the line of her body as his lips brushed the delicate spot behind her ear that always made her shiver.

"Today is ours, love. I refuse to let anything spoil it. We'll not be able to change a thing today," he replied in between kisses along the line of her neck and shoulder. Alice shuddered at his hot wet mouth on her skin, his clever hands on her body, stealing away her ability to reason, "Yeah... you're right," she replied as she turned in his arms.

She looked up into his dark chocolate brown eyes and smiled, her eyes flicked down to his perfect Cupid's bow lips. He was right. She could think of so many ways to spend today rather than to worry about tomorrow. She drew him down to meet her for a searing kiss and pressed her body to his. He was so right.

"Oh, god… now I'm starving," Alice said.

"And ya say that I'm the one always goin' on about food?" Hatter laughed. "Breakfast?" he offered.

Alice's stomach rumbled audibly at the thought of one of Hatter's full-on heart-attack inducing breakfasts, "Oh hell yes," she replied quickly.

Hatter gave her a broad crooked grin, his dimple on full display and his dark eyes dancing, and kissed the tip of her nose, "I'll see what we've got that hasn't spoiled."

Alice groaned, "That's right. A month. I don't know if we'll have anything in there to eat."

Hatter smirked, "Oh, please. Leave that to me, yeah? I can always find a bit of nosh."

Hatter put the kettle on the hob as he scavenged for something to feed them. He'd had lots of years practice scraping together meals from next to naught, but the contents in the pantry left much to be desired. No dairy save for the butter in the freezer, no bread, and they'd been in need of a trip to the grocer before they'd been taken. He saw the box of oats on the shelf and inventoried the rest of the ingredients he'd need. Looked like he'd be baking.

Alice walked into the kitchen to see a disgruntled Hatter standing in front of the open pantry door. He turned to face her sheepishly and shrugged.

"Fancy flapjacks? We have hardly a thing left but some staples."

The chewy oat bar cookies thinly disguised as something that could pass for a nutritious breakfast were among her favorite things to eat. Healthy, no. Delicious, very much yes. Still, it was more of a snack than a meal, but it would do for now. She could tell that Hatter didn't want to leave the apartment if they could help it, and frankly, neither did she.

She smiled, "Sounds good to me."

She sat on the counter and watched him cooking them breakfast as she had so many times before while she sipped her tea. Aside from the assorted cuts and bruises on his lean body this could almost be like any of the Sunday mornings they'd spent together. He always cooked them breakfast while she always tried not to drool into her tea as she watched. He really was a beautiful man, she mused. He was throwing covert glances her way, and she smiled. It was nice to know the feeling was mutual.

He stirred the butter, sugar and syrup mixture as it bubbled on the cook top, watching it carefully. He'd burnt it once before when she had... distracted him. It was difficult not to when he looked so delicious standing there clad only in his silk boxers, his thick unruly mop of hair mussed. She bit her lip; hmm, they should stay home. As a matter of fact, she didn't see the purpose in waiting until breakfast for her… sweets. The cookies had to cool, after all… and she knew exactly how to fill the time as they waited. He tossed her a smug grin as he caught her checking him out and she rolled her eyes. She'd caught him ogling her legs just a moment before… it was not as if he had any room to be smug. Tomorrow would bring its own set of problems, but Alice was determined to take a page from Hatter's book and worry about tomorrow when tomorrow came.

They had planned to stay in all day, but it looked as if they were going to have to get out at some point to buy some food. If they hadn't been so exhausted last night, the curdled milk in the refrigerator and the green food would have been a dead giveaway to just how long they'd been gone, but they hadn't ventured into the kitchen except to make tea. They managed to hide away for most of the day, but hunger driven by lots of physical activity drove them out of the flat eventually.

Hatter tucked his arm around Alice protectively as they headed down the block to buy enough groceries to get them by for a couple of days, at least. Alice frowned as she took in the change that had come over Hatter when they left the safety of their home; it was as if he was back to those first days in her world again. He was always watchful and wary, but this… this was something different. Every person that brushed by them was a potential threat, his dark eyes constantly moving, assessing. It saddened her, but she knew him well enough by now to realize he felt he'd let his guard down too much to begin with, and this should have been an expected repercussion. She was well aware that they were still in danger, but she didn't want him to act like this.

"Hey… are you alright?" Alice asked as she pulled him to a stop.

He nodded, "Yeah. Fine."

"No. You aren't acting fine," she countered. He'd hadn't lost his grim countenance, and even now he wasn't looking at her.

He sighed, it was impossible to lie to Alice. "Just…" he waved his hands helplessly, at a loss to explain it in simple terms, "I can't stop thinking. Can we perhaps discuss this at home?"

Alice raised an eyebrow, "Sure. But this means we will discuss it."

He nodded his acceptance ruefully. He figured as much.

He settled a little bit in the grocery store; Alice even managed to coax a weak smile from him, although her ordinarily loquacious Hatter was still not holding up his end of the conversation. She hoped that once he had a few days to acclimate back into ordinary life he would be back to his normal self again, but she was afraid that until they'd found Dodo, it wouldn't happen.

Hatter couldn't wait to get back to their flat. The short trip to buy some essentials had left his nerves drawn taut to the point were he was close to snapping. He knew he was overreacting. He knew it, but was powerless to stop himself. He was going to have to pull himself together if he was to deal with the police and then the judge tomorrow. There was no way he could do it now, if he had to. This little excursion had been pushing his limits, and it made no sense. He'd been through so much worse in his life and it hadn't this strong an affect on him. He nodded to himself as he worked out the difference. Alice. She'd been taken because of him. Again. It had been too close this time. Much too close. Close like the people on the sidewalk… too many people. He felt every set of eyes that rested upon Alice, every time they were sized up as potential marks, every stare that lingered too long. Too many people.

He could only blame the fact that his mind was in a bad place when it happened. It should have never happened. The guy had brushed by her arm. That's all. The sidewalk was crowded and he'd brushed Alice's sleeve as he passed. Before Hatter had even had a chance to process what was happening, he'd had the guy by the throat. He'd had his fist pulled back, and it was burning… he'd wanted to strike. He'd wanted to cave his skull in. He'd have killed him, but for Alice. She had interceded, prying the man out of Hatter's grasp, apologizing and getting them into a taxi so quickly that the man had no hope of ever finding them again.

He was losing it. He had to get this sorted or… was he going mad? He'd not lost control like that, not with a person anyway, since he was a kid. He couldn't afford to, not with what he could do. He squeezed his eyes shut and thought about how close he'd just come to throwing away all that he'd fought to keep. His citizenship, his freedom, his business… his Alice. She'd been right. He needed to talk to her about it. What if he hurt Alice? No. No, he'd never. But what if? The insidious little thought wormed its way back into his brain, setting its hooks in.

"It's okay. We'll be home in a minute," Alice said, her voice pitched low.

He swallowed hard and nodded, not trusting his voice.

Hatter closed the door to their flat and locked it. He stood frozen, staring at the doorway. They were home. They were home, and safe, and he needed to get control of himself. His brain was screaming a million accusations at him, the din becoming a maddening cacophony he couldn't ignore. What if he hurt her?

"Tea?" Alice offered.

Hatter's face crumpled; he couldn't ignore it, "Yeah. Tea would be lovely."

It scared her to see him like this. Hatter was always in control. Decisive, authoritative… charming and smooth. Right now he couldn't be farther from all of those things, and Alice wasn't sure what to do. Her heart gave another painful lurch as she saw his eyes drop to the floor, and she knew one thing she could do for him. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly to her. He sighed and melted into her, letting all that was Alice soak into his bones. She didn't know what had gotten into him, and worse, she didn't know how to fix it.

He released her and took a deep breath, "I'll take that tea, if ya don't mind."

She nodded and headed to the kitchen as he sat himself on the sofa.

A few moments later, she emerged, tea in hand. He hadn't moved an inch. Alice handed Hatter his tea and sank down next to him on the sofa, "I made some Softly Warm. That okay?"

He nodded and tried to find a smile for her to reassure her, but the expression he managed only seemed to upset her more. She looked so worried, and he hated to be the cause of it. He took a swallow of tea and let the warmth course through him. He glanced at Alice again and then down into his cup. This would not be easy to say, but he had to do it. He knew it was the only way.

"Perhaps you should stay with your mother a few days," Hatter said quietly.

"What?" she asked incredulously, "Why?"

"I don't think it is a good idea for you to be around me right now," he admitted, adding in the grain of truth to the lie. He stood and paced the floor, unable to sit still.

"Why?" she repeated. She was confused. He needed her now more than ever. It wasn't like him to pull away from her, and she could see that was exactly what he was trying to do.

His heart was breaking in a million pieces, but he could see there was but one way to make sure she was safe. He loved her with all that was in him. He could do this, if it meant she'd be safe. Once he'd tracked down Dodo and gotten control of himself again… once he was certain he'd not hurt Alice, he could try to win her back.

He schooled his expression into unreadable lines to hide the tumult inside, "I need some space."

She blinked rapidly, her stormy blue eyes reflecting her confusion, "You need space?" Her jaw hardened and her eyes turned flinty, "Did you just tell me you needed space?"

Hatter nodded, "Yes. I need to get m'self sorted, and to be honest… I think you'll be in the way of that."

Alice recoiled as the words hit home. Hatter wished he didn't have to do it this way, but she'd not listen otherwise. It killed him to hurt her, but he knew he was doing what was best. He steeled himself for the next part, but he knew it was necessary. Already, she was calculating… she'd figure out what he was doing quickly enough if he didn't strike deep enough. He wouldn't blame her if she'd never forgive him for this… but she'd be safe.

He cleared his throat, "And I think you should hold on to this," he began, slipping the engagement band from his finger and pressing it into her hand.

Tears stood out in her eyes and he forced himself to meet her gaze resolutely. If he could say it, he owed it to her to witness her pain. He just wanted to gather her into his arms and take it back, but he daren't. You're doing the right thing by her, he reassured himself. Now to drive it home.

"I'll send over your things, but I'd like you to leave."

Alice stood, vibrating with fury. She stared at the ring in her hand and closed her hand around it in a fist, the cold metal biting into the soft skin of her palm.

She slapped him. A hard blow that rocked his head back and knocked the hat from his head. The heat from her handprint on his cheek was a smarting indication of just how angry she was. Alice didn't loose control like that. She just didn't, and Alice certainly never hit people, especially him. He nodded, "I deserved that, I know."

Alice couldn't recall ever feeling so angry and betrayed. Not even when she found out Jack had used her. If he truly thought she'd for one instant bought that line of bullshit, maybe he had lost it. He was looking at her with that same sad self-sacrificing woebegone expression he'd worn when he'd told her to go off with Jack back when she'd made her first trip to Wonderland, and she felt herself growing even angrier. She hadn't done the right thing then. She would this time.

"We are in this together. If you think I'm leaving you alone to deal with this you're crazy," she hissed. "Some space? Seriously? You think I'm going to believe you need space? You? Do you think I'm stupid?"

He gaped at her, openmouthed, "I…"

She pushed the ring back into his hand, "Put that back on before I make you swallow it," she threatened.

He took the ring from her, but didn't put it back on his finger. He stared at in the palm of his hand, stunned.

She moved closer to him, her hand searching for his, "Is it Dodo? Is that what this is about? You really think he'll leave me alone? Believe me, Hatter, the safest place for me is next to you."

The words seared him. She trusted him so much, and he didn't deserve it, "No. No," he pressed his lips together to stop their shaking. The safest place for her was as far away from him as she could get.

"Tell me, please? Tell me how to help you," she asked.

Hatter wouldn't meet her eyes, "I'm afraid I'll hurt you."

Her brow furrowed, "Are you serious?" He met her gaze for a brief second, and the pain she saw there was staggering, "You are."

Alice shook her head, "Hatter no. You can't hurt me. You couldn't."

He still refused to look at her, "I almost killed that man. If I hurt you Alice… if there is even the slightest chance-"

She took the ring from him and slipped it back on his finger. He allowed it, not resisting, although his hands were trembling.

Alice dropped his hands and put her arms around his narrow waist, "Look at me."

He couldn't do it. If he did, he would break.

"Hatter?" she said softly, "Look… I know you won't hurt me. I know. Would you just look at me? Hatter?"

She sighed and cradled his cheek in her hand, "Look at me and tell me you think you could hurt me."

His heart ached so badly it stole the breath from his lungs. He tried to tell her he would… he would and she should go far away, but he couldn't make himself do it. The best he had in him was just to not answer at all.

"David?"

That won her a reaction; his dark chocolate eyes locked on hers, his name from her tongue lashing through him like a whip. He crushed her to him, "Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot."

"You are," she agreed, but she he held him to her as tightly as he was holding her.

She held him for long moments, stroking his hair and murmuring reassurances. "You know, I never slapped anyone before," Alice said as he got control of himself once again and began to pull away.

Hatter chuckled, "Believe me love, I've been slapped plenty of times."

"Oh, I do…" she replied.

They decided on Stephano's pizza for dinner. It was delivery, and a key ingredient for comfort for the two of them. They listened to music and talked and drank tea long into the night. The quiet time alone together went a long way towards soothing Hatter's battered soul, but at two in the morning, Hatter was still awake. He was at a loss to what to do with himself; his brain would not stop chasing its tail.

He placed the kettle on the hob. His family had an old adage…when in doubt, drink tea. An idea came to him in a flash of insight. There was one thing that always helped him to think, to get his thoughts sorted and to help him find his center… he needed to blend a new tea. He left a note for Alice in case she woke to find him gone, and pulled on the tan trousers and the cream and forest green paisley silk shirt he'd worn earlier and topped it with his brown leather jacket and tweed trilby. He sincerely doubted that Alice would wake before he'd get back, at least he hoped he'd be able to get this out of his system and get some sleep soon. He kissed her cheek and slipped out of the flat.

Hatter lost himself in the process of creation as he measured and tested each new ingredient before blending it into the whole. He poured all the fear and anger and frustration he was feeling into his creation, tempered with the overwhelming love he felt for his Alice. He could hardly believe she'd seen through him so clearly, but he should have known. She could look right through his bullshit like no one else had ever been able to.

He was not entirely sure if it was because she had the ability to see him clearly, or that he was rubbish at hiding anything from her, but the end result was the same. She'd been right, in any case. He hadn't been thinking when he'd tried to send her away. He'd been frightened and angry with himself, and his mind had immediately gone to isolating himself as the solution. Of all the daft ideas to have… He sighed, disgusted with himself. The worst of it was, he'd hurt Alice. He'd hurt her for no reason other than his own stupidity. He added a bit more tannin-rich black tea to the mix for bitterness. He had bitterness aplenty.

His mind turned to the problems at hand. Dodo was a threat he couldn't afford to ignore… perhaps if he could find a way to let the police in on the search for him? No… he could lose the Stone forever if that happened. Hatter needed to be the one to find him. Perhaps Erica could find a link? If not, it was only a matter of time before Dodo found him. Worse case was he kept Alice where she was safe, and he'd let Dodo find him. If the man was as mad as Hatter believed him to be, then surely he'd try something desperate when he found his plan to capture Hatter had failed. He'd have to have been furious when he realized Ryan had betrayed him. His plan to ruin Hatter financially had failed spectacularly, as had his plan to capture him. Hatter would just have to stay alert.

All he truly wanted was to marry his Alice and settle down into a nice quiet life running his tea shop. If all went well tomorrow, they would begin to shop for Alice's dress afterwards. Erica had assured him that the shop was manned for tomorrow, and he should spend the day taking care of necessary business. He'd been too grateful to question it overmuch. He felt he'd worked through things sufficiently to go into public again. He hoped. If he had another episode like earlier today, he'd could always have Alice lock him up and fit him with a straightjacket, he mused, laughing to himself. It was not funny, not really, but he'd had to laugh so he'd not cry. Damn Dodo for instigating this. He'd make him pay.

Hatter locked the door to his tea shop and headed back up the stairs feeling much calmer than before. He had a plan of sorts, albeit a loose one. After today, he suspected Alice would go along with his request that she not go anywhere alone, at least for a short time. Dodo was not known for his patience; he would act soon when he realized Hatter had come back. Back from the dead, it would seem to him. Good. The more he was shaken, the easier it would be.

Hatter stripped off his clothing and slipped into bed again with Alice. She snuggled up to his side in her sleep, and he obligingly circled his arms around her and held her close. He smiled and pressed a kiss to her hair, contented and calm once again. He closed his eyes, and in moments, he was asleep.

TBC

A/N: Did you like it? I hope so. So, did you think that Alice was actually going to let Hatter leave her? *grins*

Please tell me what you think? Poor muse had been getting beat down and she's in desperate need of reviews to help inspire her to write. Oh, and a Missing Reel for this? Perhaps... speak with my muse on that, if you would. She likes dark chocolate and snickerdoodles... and macaroons are always good too. *grins* Will work for bribes.

Oh, and for Primeval fic readers, the last chap of "We Need a Holiday" is up. It's "M" so it doesn't appear on the main page.