Warning, this chapter is rated M, just in case

Chapter 36

Free to be you and me

Grace sat on her bed staring in front of her. She had no idea what to think. She was confused. What was she supposed to feel at the moment? What would a normal person feel? She had no idea. The truth was that she didn't really feel anything. She hadn't felt anything when she had thought that her family had died in fire and she didn't feel anything now. But Kol had killed them. Shouldn't that make her feel something?

Grace had used to think that she was a good person but she definitely didn't think that anymore. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to clear her thoughts. Maybe she felt that they deserved to die but it was wrong to think that. It wasn't her place to judge anyone. She startled when someone knocked the door. Grace knew who it was without asking.

"Come in", she said.

Kol opened the door and walked in. He sat next to her without saying anything. She didn't speak either. After a long silence Kol finally spoke.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

There was only one question she wanted to ask.

"Why?"

"Well, I would like to say that it was because I knew about everything what those people did to you but that would be a lie. I killed them before I knew. But don't get me wrong, I would have definitely killed them after I heard what you said to Elijah and I would have made them suffer more."

"Oh… So what you are saying is…"

"I killed them because it's my nature. And I really didn't like them but mostly because of that nature thing."

Grace had no idea what to say.

"When we first met, were you planning to kill me?" she asked.

Kol thought about it.

"No. There was something about you that caught my eye. I admit that I wasn't completely sure what I was going to do to you but I wouldn't have killed you."

"I see. Thank you for being honest", Grace said quietly.

"Sure, no problem. What do you want to do now?"

Grace shook her head.

"I don't know."

"Are you afraid of me?" Kol asked.

Grace didn't say anything. The truth was that she wasn't sure.

"It probably makes no difference but I want you to know that I would never raise my hand against you. I might have many faults but that I wouldn't do", Kol said.

Grace didn't look at him.

"I believe you. I just don't know if I'm going to be safe with you. You might just get bored and decide to kill me…"

"No! I would never do that", Kol interrupted her. "Hey, look at me."

It took a moment before Grace raised her head. She tried to look calm when her eyes met Kol's. He sighed.

"Ok, this really isn't my thing and you probably won't hear this again any time soon, so pay attention."

He seemed very uncomfortable.

"I…care about you. There, I said it."

Grace stared at him. He looked more and more uncomfortable. She knew that her silence didn't help but she honestly didn't know what to say.

"Just forget that I said anything", Kol murmured and stood up.

Grace grabbed his hand.

"Wait."

She took a deep breath.

"I care about you too. I just don't know if this can work."

Kol sat down and took both of her hands.

"Yes, this will work. I'll make it work."

Grace couldn't help but smile.

"It's not that simple. There are many things we have to consider before…"

He silenced her with a kiss. She tried to push him away at first but he didn't stop before she was kissing him back. She couldn't deny that she was enjoying it. He really knew how to use his tongue. Her hands were caressing his chest.

"I say it is that simple", he said somewhere between the kisses.

"No, it's just physical attraction…" she murmured.

He slid his hand under her top making her flinch.

"What more do you need?" he whispered and started to suck her pulse point. His hand was going under her bra. She was breathing faster and her body temperature was rising. This was crazy but she didn't want to stop.

"Ice…" she managed to say.

"What?"

"We need some ice. And cold water."

Kol stopped and stared at her.

"Are you saying…"

Grace felt herself blushing but she nodded.

"I want to try… But if it doesn't work…"

"Stay right there", Kol said and disappeared before Grace even saw him moving. She stood up and went to the bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She wanted to do this. Why should she be ashamed of that? But she wanted to do this on her own terms. She took a belt from her dressing gown and stepped out. Kol was already waiting for her with three ice bags and two buckets of water.

"Could you take your shirt off?" Grace said as calmly as she could.

He grinned.

"No problem, sweetheart."

Grace didn't move closer to him.

"Lie down, please", she said when he was shirtless.

Kol seemed amused but he obeyed. Grace looked at him nervously squishing the belt on her hand. She moved next to the headboard.

"Could you… I need to…"

Apparently he understood what she was trying to say. His smirk grew wider when he lifted his hands. Grace tied his hands to the headboard. She knew that he could easily free himself but she needed to have control. At least for now. She sat on the bed and touched his bare chest. He was watching her every move. She moved closer and kissed his chest. Then his neck. Her hands were exploring his upper body. He seemed to be enjoying himself. He growled when she nipped his neck and moved on his lips. She hesitated before taking her top off. He was looking at her lustfully.

"You really know how to make a man hot", he murmured.

Grace smiled and continued kissing him. She liked to be on top, in charge. And she liked to tease him. It didn't take long before he yanked his hands free and rolled her on her back. He kissed her hungrily and ripped her bra off. That startled her. He was already unbuttoning her jeans.

"Could you slow down?" she asked.

Kol was trying very hard to control himself and he managed to move his hands higher. She moaned when he started to fondle her breasts.

"You are so beautiful", he murmured. His kisses were deep and passionate. She felt her body warming up. He felt it too and took few ice cubes. He smirked and started to caress her body with the ice cubes. She moaned and didn't even notice that he was removing her jeans. Suddenly she realized that she was only wearing her panties. She felt scared and exposed. She couldn't help it. He kissed her calmingly.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I swear."

She nodded cautiously and allowed him to continue. His first touch on her most private part was very gentle. He took his time, making sure that she was ready before unbuttoning his jeans. He looked at her, asking silently for her permission. She nodded. She was very nervous but he kept his promise. He didn't hurt her. But she couldn't really relax either.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Kol asked when he was holding her.

"We need more practice", she murmured.

He started to laugh.

"That's fine by me", he said and kissed her.

Grace leaned her head on his chest. That had been the first time when she had willingly had sex with someone. It was a liberating thought. She had been with him because she had wanted to. It had been her choice. Maybe their thing would work, maybe not but right now she was right where she wanted to be.