AN: Daryl's back but he's got shit to do before he tells Rick about stuff…smut warning…nobody's claiming it's good smut, though, so if you prefer not to, skip the last bit. I do not own any part of the Walking Dead.

Part Thirty-Five

Carol sat on the edge of a bed in one of the bedrooms, staring at the wall and seeing nothing. Inside her head she was reliving the day she'd told Ed she was pregnant, feeling the crushing fist that smashed into her cheek and the rattling of her brain as he seized her upper arms and shook her like a rag doll. She'd tasted blood in her mouth as she'd blanked out, zoned out like she was used to doing when he lost control and took it out on her. She was old, ugly, used up, no good, stupid, a whore and every other nasty thing he could think of, and as she blocked the pain he inflicted on her body out, the words still found a way to tease in and sink deep into her soul. It had been the last hope that he would change—that he could become the kind of man that could be a respectable father and husband. He'd been brutal, but nothing he'd done had managed to make her lose her child, and the existence of Sophia had been the only thing of light in her life. She loved her little girl, with everything she had left inside her, but she'd not been stupid again, never allowed herself to nurture another life in her womb. Never allowed herself to imagine another little personality becoming so important to her that it washed away all the punishment that would come her way. She'd never been that delusional again.

Until now.

Daryl didn't mean to hurt her, she knew that. The man was a force of nature; he reacted with fight and flight in equal measure and she'd accepted that from the start. It didn't stop the pain that radiated throughout her body but focused in hard at her heart. It didn't stop the fear that he wouldn't come back, or that he'd tell her to hell with it all as he took his brother and left the group for good. It didn't stop her heart from breaking at the thought she'd never be able to hold him again. There was no doubt in her at all that she'd love this baby—she already loved it with a power so elemental, so based in motherhood, that it took her breath away. A test would prove nothing more than she already knew in her head. Daryl Dixon's child was nestling in for the long haul in her womb and it made Carol feel more alive than she could ever remember. Loving a man apparently made all the difference, and even if he shunned her, ran scared from his child and her love for him, Carol knew she'd be okay, because at least he'd leave a little piece of himself behind for her to cherish.

That didn't stop the flood of tears that ravaged her face.

"Mom?"

Sophia's hesitant voice shocked her out of her introspection and Carol shook her head to clear it of the violent images that had almost paralysed her earlier.

"Hi, honey." She held her arms open wide to her daughter, not even bothering to hide her tears as Sophia had seen them too many times before to question their existence now.

"Can I ask you something?" Sophia watched her carefully, eyes wide and scared and Carol felt something inside her drop and her head go light.

"Of course you can." Carol rubbed her hand up Sophia's back, marvelling anew that Sophia was even there for her to do it, that her daughter was alive and there beside her and about to be a big sister.

"Outside earlier, Shane said you'd be lucky to make it through the pregnancy. He looked kind of scared, and mad, too. What did he mean?"

Carol's heart sank. Reality seemed to never get tired of trying to crush her down. The lightness in her head shifted and now she felt a subtle thumping start a tempo that echoed with the throb of blood shooting through her veins. She took a deep breath and contemplated how truthful she should be, but after years of watching the effects of her father's abuse, Carol knew she owed her daughter nothing but the truth.

"Pregnancy at my age always has its own complications," Carol confided slowly, her voice husky as she started to remember the risks herself and shook with her own mounting fear. "There's things like Down Syndrome which are more common for women in their forties. High blood pressure, gestational diabetes. There could be problems with the birth, or the baby could come early." The more potential problems she thought of, the more fear seemed to come out of nowhere until she was shaking with it, her daughter suddenly taking her hand and holding it tight.

"I'm scared," Sophia said, her voice choking with tears the young girl couldn't hold in, and Carol nodded her head, embracing her daughter while she sniffled in her hair.

"Me too," Carol admitted, wishing for all the world that Daryl was there, holding them both and telling them it would be okay, that they were survivors and that they were just being stupid focusing on the negative.

"Maybe…do you think you should try to stop it?" Sophia couldn't look at her and Carol was so shocked that she was relieved Sophia lacked the courage to meet her eyes, aghast that her daughter would suggest something like that, let alone know it was possible.

"W-what?" she stumbled, feeling sick. There was no way she'd even consider it. Just as she'd told Lori back at the farm, a child in this new world was hope and love and life and she wasn't going to deprive Daryl of that, even if it meant she didn't make it to the end to see this baby in his arms.

"If this baby is going to hurt you, maybe you should get rid of it."

Carol jerked away from Sophia, horrified. "Where did you even hear something like that?"

The girl jumped to her feet, putting distance between her mother and herself and Carol watched her carefully as the girl seemed to shrink under her stare, unsure of what was happening and feeling lost within it.

"Daddy always said if you ever got pregnant with another brat like me he'd make you get rid of it. I don't know how you do that, but maybe that's what you should do this time. I don't want to lose you."

"Oh." Carol burst into tears, her face buried in her hands as more of the awful truth of living all those years with Ed and the impact it had had on their child hit her. There never seemed any end to it, the damage he'd caused just by living, and she hated herself for exposing Sophia to it for so long.

"No," she croaked through her raw throat at last. "I can't do that. I know it will be dangerous, but I already love this baby—this is your little brother or sister, and your father can go rot in hell for the lies and garbage he tried to hurt us with."

Sophia considered her words and her eyes went dark. "Why did it have to be Daryl, then? Why couldn't you have had a baby with Merle instead? At least we'd know he'd take care of us."

Carol sat on the bed, stunned. Her body seemed so heavy all the sudden, wanting to just lie down and ignore all of this bullshit that seemed to crop up out of nowhere. Merle? Sophia wanted her to procreate with Merle? While the reality of the man had been something totally unexpected, and she was really beginning to like him as a human being, the thought of being intimate with Merle, of sharing a child and a life with him, didn't do her heartbeat any favours.

"Merle's really wonderful," Carol admitted sheepishly, a small smile breaking through the emotional wreckage of her face. "I'll forever be grateful to him for finding you, but…I love Daryl. I can't explain it, and I can't even tell him the truth of how I feel, but…that's how it is, Sophia. Sometimes life just doesn't give you the chance to make the smart decisions. You just deal with what and who it throws at you, and right now, it's a baby. Do you think you can help me with that? Be a big sister?"

Sophia nodded, slowly at first but then it picked up speed as the excitement hit her and she bounced back on the bed, asking all the typical sibling questions until Carol felt giddy from laughter and relief. At least she'd weathered one of those storms Shane had implied was on her horizon. She just wasn't so sure she had the energy for another one.

It was dark by the time he strode out of the woods, his gait slow with seized muscles from the pain of his earlier fight with Merle that had now definitely settled in. His crossbow was held aloft as he continued scanning for any threats or potential dinner he could take out on the way home. Three rabbits dangled lifelessly at his hip and Merle whistled long and low as Daryl got closer to the building. Glenn raised a hand in greeting as he stood on the porch taking watch, a hesitant smile on his lips as his gaze darted erratically between Daryl and Merle. As the former got closer, he jumped down the steps and announced he was going to walk the perimeter, leaving Daryl in a faceoff with his brother that he just now realised he'd been hoping to avoid.

Merle's face displayed an impressive purple bruise below his left eye and the cut from his split skin seemed to have been cleaned and dressed, along with the graze around his chin. Merle stared at his approach, his lip curled up in a derisive smirk Daryl was all too familiar with.

"You ready to talk about that woman like a man now, or you gonna go back to being a pussy and give me the message with your fists? 'Cause I gotta warn ya, I ain't gonna let you win again."

Daryl rolled his eyes. "You ain't never let me win a fight in your whole damn life."

Merle cracked a wide grin and a bitter chuckle erupted from deep within his chest. "Don't I know it, boy. You had some real intention behind you this time, though. Think you best tell me about it."

Daryl stood still, glowering at Merle's intentional misunderstanding of the situation.

"Carol is mine, an' if you touch her, I'll fuck you up. That man enough for ya?" He went to push past Merle to head up the stairs, fully aware that he had unfinished business with the woman in question, even though he was almost pissing himself with fear at facing her after his less than stellar exit that morning. Night was beginning to fall now and the news would have been spread through their whole group. Humiliation burned inside him and Daryl just wanted to get it over with, wanted to cement his fate and get all these people out of his face, but of course his own brother wouldn't let it go. Wouldn't let him on his way so he could dump the rabbits and go in search of his woman.

His woman.

Just thinking it caused galloping terror to rip through him, making him stumble on the first step as his boot caught the board. Fuck, he'd never had a woman before, not one to call his own, and here he had Carol. While recognising without words that there was a strength of meaning behind whatever it was they felt for each other, he'd never outwardly admitted the exclusivity that he wanted, that he demanded she accept. If she didn't, he wasn't so sure the hole that was quickly forming a chasm in his chest was ever going to close.

"So bein' yours means you jus' up and leave her when she tells you you're gonna be a daddy, does it?' Merle pushed, voice harsh and accusative. Unforgiving. "That takes some real balls, little brother, runnin' out on the mother of your kid." Merle still hadn't stood up from his seat on the steps and Daryl reined in every impulse he had to strike out and kick his good for nothing brother in the head.

"The fuck you know about it?" his voice cracked as it reached a higher tone than it was used to, emotion almost strangling it out of him. "How many women you skipped out on when you knocked 'em up? Bet you coulda counted them on the two damn hands you used to have, you piece of shit."

Merle launched himself to his feet now, towering over Daryl and in his rage he shoved Daryl hard, the younger Dixon flailing backwards on his ass in the dirt. Without even thinking about it, he swung his crossbow in front of him as he flew back to his feet, the bolt still loaded and ready to shoot.

"You best not touch me again or I'll shoot ya between the eyes." He was breathing heavily, eyes narrowed, his vision blurred by tears he was ignoring. The last thing Daryl needed right now when he felt so stretched emotionally was for his brother to lay a hand on him, even if it was meant to smack Daryl into using his sense.

"You gonna shoot me now? It's a fine day you're havin' then," Merle growled, lips pulled tight across his teeth as anger and disgust roiled through him and he stood poised to strike at Daryl like a snake. "That woman, the one you say is yours, has been cryin' her eyes out all day 'cause of you. I don't know what all's goin' on between the two of you, but I'm smart enough to know when to back off when I gotta, but you don't step up and take care of this, I'm takin' over, an' you won't be gettin' a second chance, you hear?"

Merle didn't wait to see if he heard or not, if he agreed or was going to launch his arrow into his ugly face. He spun on his heel and was gone, leaving Daryl to feel like he was dismantling while he hesitated in the dirt in front of the house. A weary hand came to cover his eyes and he concentrated on slowing his breathing down, trying to fight back the images of violence he might let loose if any other one of the cock suckers he was sharing his life with these days felt a need to stick their beak into his business before he had the chance to set things right.

Shane appeared before him the second he opened his eyes and Daryl reared back in surprise. He'd not heard a single footstep, not heard the man's natural rhythm of life as he'd gained ground on him, and while it pissed him off that Shane would choose now to display this new skill he'd obviously been practising for a while, Daryl couldn't help but smirk his acknowledgement.

"Keep that up an' someone 'round here'll fit you with a bell so they know you're comin'. Might even be me," Daryl threatened with a grin, softening the impact of the words.

"Hey, man. Look, I should probably tell you, I didn't handle things so well with Carol earlier today." Shane's face was filled with remorse but Daryl was already on alert, his feet itching with the purpose to find Carol that he'd thought he'd lost after his confrontation with Merle.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Shane visibly shrunk, then ripped the cap off his head and ran his fingers through the coarse brown curls growing back on his scalp. "I mighta been a bit…look, this situation ain't ideal. She's an older lady havin' a baby an' there were risks with that before we didn't have hospitals and machines and shit, you know? I won't deny I'm scared for her. An'…I might still have had a few issues about Lori an' losin' my own chance at fatherhood and I probably took it out on Carol. She was good about it, though, an' if it's any consolation, Merle punched me in the face and called me an asshole." The self-conscious grin he tried to share with Daryl fell flat and then drifted entirely from his face, his brown eyes diverting to the dirt as he waited for Daryl to crack his face again with a Dixon fist.

For some reason, Daryl didn't feel like it. Instead, other words seemed to fix in his head and they swirled dizzyingly around until he felt his knees go weak. "What kind of risks?"

Shane looked up and Daryl could see the man seemed haunted by what could be in their future. "Not sure of the specifics, man, but I've seen it happen. We need to keep her happy and healthy and how are we supposed to do that with the stress we all live with every day? With no doctors that know what the hell they're doin'? When we might have to pack up and leave any minute? I know you'll do everythin' you can to keep her safe, but…" Shane ran his hand across his face, rubbing exhaustion and worry away or further in, Daryl couldn't tell. "She's important to this group. No one here wants to lose her."

Knowing how people did care for her made Daryl feel strange. For all the time Sophia was gone he'd wondered, thinking they all saw her as just another face around the fire, one moping and confused at losing the only real thing that tethered her to the world. Now he could see that even without his noticing, she'd had her impact in more places than just his life, and it made him want to protect her even more.

With a nod of understanding and an urgency to get things out in the open with Carol finally, to put his feelings across, he unhooked his kills from his belt and handed the rabbits to Shane. "Where is she?"

"Bedroom upstairs, last one on the right."

Daryl dipped his head in thanks and took off up the stairs, his heart pounding with fear and anticipation.

The room was dark when he pushed the door gently open and walked inside. She was lying on her side on the bed, facing away from him, but her steady breathing told him she was asleep. Daryl watched her for a moment, wondering what to do, whether to go to her now or go and tell Rick about his discovery first. The need to hold her won out and so with a click he shut the door and turned the lock. He propped his crossbow against the wall, kicked off his boots and removed the knife at his belt before carefully crawling up behind her. Staring at her back, he actually thought about whether or not he should touch her, but then his thoughts returned to the baby she carried and he realised he was being stupid worrying about touching her now when the results were already known to all.

Shuffling in close, he curled his hand around her middle, his fingers splayed against her belly where he figured the little beanie beginnings of his son or daughter was settling in for their nap. His hand felt electrified being this close to her flesh and with a burst of courage he had no idea where it originated from, his fingers slipped beneath the fabric of her top to stroke against her silken flesh. She made no response to his touch and so while she was oblivious, he grew bolder, his lips brushing against her shoulder impulsively as his hand swept a hypnotic circle around her abdomen until his fingers brushed against her ribs, moving upward until he reached the under swell of her breast.

The pads of his fingers slowly scraped over her skin, following the curve until they bumped into a nipple and the sense memory of her asking him to squeeze it that morning slammed into him. He moaned helplessly, his thumb flicking it while his fingertips formed around it again, gently plucking it. He wasn't prepared for the way her body arched so suddenly into him, the whimper that spilled past her lips or the leg that curled back to hook his and pulled him tighter into her body.

"Daryl?"

His eyes shot open in a split second of uncertainty, quickly chased away by jealously. "Who the hell else you expectin'? My brother?"

She flipped him over before he could think, straddling him and threading her fingers through his before hauling them up to be pinned above his head.

"Don't even kid about that. Someone could have filled me in he's been after me this whole time. I thought he was just bein' friendly." There was a wide grin quirking her lips and Daryl answered her with one of his own, relief combined with lack of food all day and his bruises from Merle's fists that morning making him almost giddy.

"Friendly? Hell, Merle walks around half the time with his dick so hard a cat can't even scratch it." Daryl ducked his gaze when she burst out a laugh but got an eyeful of her plump breasts and he swallowed hard, quickly looking back up to find her eyes soft as she watched him.

"You sayin' you don't? I'm obviously not doin' things right," she teased, and his cheeks flushed hot. It didn't stop him from jerking his hips up into the V of her legs as she straddled him, proving she was doing things exactly right if he was any judge. It was time to get serious, though, and so he clasped her hands tightly as they stayed above his head, and he watched her for any sign of uncertainty.

"You sure 'bout this? Merle's got more moves than a checkerboard and ain't all of 'em are movin' forward." His words might have it look like he was kidding, but his insides were tied up in knots. He had no idea how they'd reached this point, how she came to mean everything to him, but as she leaned forward, her lips just barely whispering against his, he figured he was past caring.

"I'm sure."

She kissed him and it was like it was the first time all over again, like all the stress of the past month was suddenly gone and they were making that first move toward each other without all the complications, without all the grief that had blighted it the first time around. He felt the swell of her lips as they caressed his, the tip of her tongue licking along the slit between his and his mouth dropped open, needing to taste her, to feel her pour herself into his mouth. One hand went to the back of her head, wanting her closer, needing her so desperately that his pulse was beating down the seconds till he exploded. His other hand seemed to get caught up in her shirt, lifting it higher until they had to break apart for her to get it over her head. And then, as he saw her skin, pale and freckled in the subtle candlelight, reason, care, and modesty flew out of his head. In a whirlwind of removed clothing, kisses, and touches, he'd rolled them, lying now naked between her legs, his mouth consuming her dusky, sensitive nipples, the wetness of her slit coaxing his dick inside her. Slowly he pushed at her entrance, his breaths coming at him harshly as he struggled to keep control, to keep this moment gentle, considered, loving. She held her palm against his face and he could still smell the scent of citrus from when she'd squeezed oranges for their breakfast juice. He sucked one of her fingers into his mouth, and her wide-eyed, lust-hot gaze fixed on him and as she held it, as she peered deep inside his soul, he slipped his full length into her and almost burned up as her liquid heat set him ablaze.

His first thrust was met with her legs creeping up around his waist. The position was new in itself—he'd never had sex when he wasn't standing up. Lying down with a woman always seemed too intimate, left him too emotionally vulnerable, but as Carol wound her legs around him, clamping him tight to her as he moved, a smooth rhythm developed between them that built a crescendo of sensation inside him. It drew up tight in his gut as his flesh nearly burst open with millions of little itches under the skin. His mouth was drawn to her neck, little bites along with soothing kisses, then a long lick before nibbling his way back down her throat, over her collarbone until he sucked a nipple back into his mouth, his blood jolting in his veins at her sharp gasps and heady moans.

"Daryl?" Carol panted against his hair as he nuzzled her breasts, his hips slowly driving himself in and out of her, pushing toward something monumental. He almost didn't hear her, his arousal roaring in his ears, his need for her shouting at him to complete this and make her his.

"Hmmm?"

"Does this mean…you're stayin'?" There was a hitch in her voice he didn't understand, the words making just as little sense. He couldn't remember saying he was going anywhere, couldn't work out why she'd think something so dumb when all he'd been able to think about for the last months was staying around for her, couldn't make a move without wanting her opinion first.

"Not goin' anywhere," he mumbled against her mouth as he dived in for another kiss, his dick swelling so tight he thought he was going to burst out of his skin.

"An' the baby?" she pressed and now he knew she was crazy, saying words that didn't matter when it was already decided, when they were already a family, even his dumbass brother in the mix.

"'s mine," he confirmed absently, his ass shaking as he tried to sustain the effort not to come, needing her to sense what he was feeling, not caring about anything else but this moment. He could feel her squeezing his dick, could feel her getting slicker and he just wanted the release, needed it as much as he needed to breathe, and when she opened her mouth again, he was afraid she was going to ruin it by bringing up shit they needed to just accept instead of fretting over it all.

"Of course it's yours—"

He attacked her mouth savagely, his tongue diving in to occupy her tongue before she said something that would ruin the mood, something that would make everything more complicated than he could deal with and tear it all apart.

"Shut up," he ordered, his words cracking with impatience. "I ain't runnin', ain't goin' nowhere, an' the kid's mine. Now come."

Her fingers tangled messily in his hair, dragging his mouth back to hers and he grunted happily, his pace quickening as he she tipped her hips up provocatively to his, back arching so her breasts pressed against his chest. Molten heat drew up in his gut and erupted out of him with a suddenness so abrupt he shook with it, the torture all the more sweet as she moaned into his mouth and her channel pulsed spasmodically against him.

Such intense pleasure spiked along his spine and slammed into the back of his skull. He shuddered, his body weak. He collapsed against her, his flesh slick with sweat and her legs relaxing to rub over his ass as they drifted to curl around his legs. Her arms held him tight, her breath ragged in his ear and then she was crying and kissing and leaving little love bites against his shoulder.

Only after it was done, after he slipped from her and slid to the side, did reality set in and his natural sense of self-preservation forced him to wonder what the hell he was supposed to do now. He'd never shared anything like this kind of intimacy with another person—let alone a woman, and with Carol it seemed like he was taking on a readymade family without his even being able to consider it first. How the hell was he going to do that without fucking it all up to shit?

How he could lay naked beside a woman that was now smiling at him like he'd made her the happiest woman alive, he just didn't know. She linked her arms around his neck, pulling him flush against her body and he went on high alert, finding it the most difficult thing he'd ever done to look her full on in the eye. She sensed his fear straight away, her composure crumbling in a second. Her smile dropped completely from her face as she watched him, worry settling around her like a shroud as her arms loosened and she strategically backed away.

"Was that okay?" He cringed at the note of fear he heard creep back in between them, forcing himself to not be such a pussy and snake his hand around her waist and pull her back, ignoring the panic swirling around in his own head that letting her in would be the biggest mistake he'd ever made. He had to leave it be, push it out and away from him for the sake of Carol and their child that grew inside her. He had no fucking clue about just about anything, but he did know that if he let this go and ran scared, Merle would make good on his promise and take everything that was meant to be his.

"Do you see me walkin' away?"

She shook her head, but there was no confidence in the move.

"No, but you're shutting down anyway."

She was right, and he felt ashamed of himself. It was too late for that, too late to retreat, too late to turn his back and return to a world where he was an asshole looking out for only himself and Merle, trying to stay alive. He was more than that now—she made him more than that.

He groaned, annoyed at himself for not finding all of this shit as easy as other men, burying his face in her throat.

"'M sorry."

"Me too," she said and he could tell her voice was laden with tears she was fighting hard not to shed. "I don't want you to feel pressured into this. If it's not what you want, you don't have to—"

"Would you just stop?" He felt like begging her to shut up, to just not open her mouth again until he could figure this all out in his own head. It wasn't enough to come into the room, lay up behind her and think he was going to be a daddy. It wasn't enough to think all of this shit, he had to do it. He'd just declared himself hers—or his body had at least—and there was no going back even if he wanted to. Which he didn't.

"Daryl."

"I mean it. If I felt pressured, I'd still be out in the woods. This ain't ideal, but I got no one but myself to blame—not that I was plannin' on blamin' anyone, so stop lookin' so guilty." He kissed her, his blue eyes clashing with hers as she stared him down while moulding her lips to his. Then they drifted closed and he sighed in relief against her mouth, welcoming the gentle entry of her tongue as it tangled with his. He broke away finally, his heart pounding and his hand shaking as he raised a finger to trace over her still glistening lips. "Don't promise I'll be good at any of this, but…I'm here."

He just hoped for now she thought that was enough.

AN…Phew, thank God for that. Not sure if you could tell, but I really hesitated with the smut. As usual, any feedback you have is craved like a drug! Many, many thanks to all of you for your reviews and my new likers and followers. You made me so excited to get into this chapter. I hope it didn't disappoint.