Chapter 34: A Friend So Similar
A/N: This is mostly a transition/filler chapter…. But with a surprise guest. ;)
Also, this chapter officially puts this story past 100,000 words. Wow…. It's come a long way in four-to-five months, hasn't it? XD
Ford, Stan, Soos, and Wendy came sprinting down the side of the island, all huffing from having run so fast. They signed a collective sigh in relief when they saw that both Dipper and Mabel were alive and well, despite the fact that Mabel was just a tad worse for ware.
"Is everyone alright then?" Ford asked, and when everyone nodded he smiled in approval. "Good. I think we can call this adventure an overall success then, don't you Mabel?" When Mabel responded with an overly-cheery thumbs-up, Ford laughed. "Good! Dipper and I have a lot to copy into the Journals now, don't we?" Dipper nodded.
"Ooh! Can I put this one in my Journal?" Dipper asked, to which Ford nodded.
"Of course! I'll go back and fix some of the misinformation I had written in the Second Journal about Friday the Thirteenth here in Gravity Falls, but we'll put the information on the freshwater demon itself in your Journal. Any missing information we can just get from Bill, like the names of the original people who summoned it here and a list of its previous victims." Bill rolled his eyes.
"That's all fine and dandy, but what now? I know you don't like spending money Stanley, but please tell me we can just call for a boat instead of getting wet yet again."
Stan, who was in the middle of kissing a five dollar bill when everyone turned around to look at him, quickly shoved the Lincoln back in his shorts' pocket and cleared his throat before laughing. "Uh, sorry Little Dorito, but I don't have a single buck o' cash on me!" Bill's face in response looked so unimpressed that one could easily imagine that he'd been watching paint dry for the last five hours. And not just any paint: Dull, beige paint... Very unimpressive.
Ford laughed. "Swimming won't be necessary," he said. "I called a friend yesterday morning, of course! Number one rule of going on adventures is telling someone where you're going and when they can expect you to be back, in case anything happens. In this case, my friend had already been planning to spend the day on the lake with his son in his new boat. He agreed to come out here as soon as the sun rose to check on us. I'm sure he'll be here any minute and won't mind giving us a ride back to shore."
"A friend of yours?"Stan asked mockingly. "Who is it? A red balloon with a face drawn on it? Your pet rock?" Ford poked Stan hard in the side as retribution, which didn't stop Stan from laughing in the slightest. Ford smiled and didn't seem to mind too much.
"No. You all know the man. Talked to him just a few days ago in fact, didn't you?"
"Oh, him," Bill said, because suddenly he knew exactly who it was.
Right on cue, a luxurious white little yacht pulled around the island and honked its whistle horn at them. All in all, it looked to be much nicer and more expensive than even Gideon Gleeful's boat had been, which surprised Bill just a tad. When had that crazy old coot gotten rich? Bill had noticed he looked better last time he saw him then he had nine months ago, but he hadn't looked like a millionaire either... My, how times could change!
"Howdy there, 'venturures! How wuz your mystery hunt?" Fiddleford McGucket asked, leaning over the edge of the yacht's railing as he pulled it up next to the island. He cut the engine and let it coast until its front starboard side touched the sand and stuck there. He then hopped down off the helm and to the lower deck, and pulled at a rope that dropped down a staircase that rested against the sand. He invited them on with a motion of his still, for some reason, bandaged right hand. "Well 'r y'all gonna just stand there? C'mon aboard! I already noticed yer ship turned over yonder, Stanford. Bet that'll be a pain in the donkey-tail ta get right again."
Mabel laughed, as she tended to do when listening to Fiddleford's speech patterns. "Dipper, help me aboard!" She said, pointing up to the ship. Dipper rolled his eyes and, contemplating for a moment, decided to scoop his sister up in his arms and carry her onboard.
"Geez Mabel, you gotta let off on the sprinkles," he complained. Of course he knew that it would be difficult to carry someone taller than himself before he'd even lifted her, but he was confident he could manage. He proved himself right as he finished carrying her up the stairs and set her down on one of the plush white benches on the deck.
"Captain Dude, this is a totes nice boat you got here! Can I drive it to shore?!" Soos asked excitedly, to which Fiddleford easily responded in the affirmative. Wendy went to a reclining chair and seemingly instantly fell asleep.
Bill came on last in a subconscious effort to hide himself from the still wild-card that was Fiddleford McGucket. Bill was fairly confident that nothing too horrible would happen to him, so long as he didn't provoke the old kook or give him a justified reason for attacking. Last time they'd spoken, McGucket had been reasonable. Wary, certainly, but also reasonable, and Bill could appreciate the fact that, from the very start, Fiddleford had not only recognized that Ford was abusing him, but had also been opposed to it. As far as Bill could tell, he so far had no reason to be particularly afraid of McGucket... Still, it was best to play it safe.
Bill walked over to Mabel, glanced up at the now half-circle that was the sun steadily raising into the sky, and suddenly felt entirely drained, registering the knowledge that he'd successfully completed his task. With a deep-seeded groan he plopped face-down onto the white bench next to Mabel, laying down across it with all the dramatic flare he could muster. Mabel laughed.
"You alright there Bill?" Mabel asked, sounding just a tad worried.
Bill tilted his head sideways just enough to be able to speak. "It's finally over. You're all alive, I'm alive, and now I feel quite like eating an entire cake and sleeping it off for a week."
Mabel grimaced and her eyes widened. "Oh jeez Bill, I'm so sorry! I totally forgot that, since all our snacks were on the boat, you haven't eaten in a while! And you've been using your powers, too! You must be starving!"
Fiddleford glanced over at the mention of Bill "using his powers," but Ford quickly waved off his concern and explained how limited those powers seemed to be.
Bill frowned at Mabel's choice of words. "Starving..." He echoed quietly which, despite the low volume of his voice, caught the attention of several people. He lifted his hand so that he could look at it and noticed that, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop it from shaking. He wasn't terribly cold anymore...
"Perhaps not starving, Shooting Star," Bill said. "Malnourished though. That's about half way to starving, isn't it?"
Mabel chuckled nervously, but when Bill let his right hand drop again, allowing it to hang limply over the side of the bench, his hand still trembling a few inches off the surface of the deck, her laughter immediately ceased. "Oh wow, you're serious aren't you?"
"It's alright. I think I'm just going to pass out. Might have to carry me to the car. At least I won't be conscious on the car ride back."
"No need for dramatics, Cipher," Fiddleford said, startling everyone when his speech lacked the usual hillbilly taint. The accent was still there, yes, but it was distant as an afterthought, not prominent like previously. McGucket went and sat down near Bill's head, startling Bill so badly that he jerked away violently enough to fall off the side of the bench and land on his back, laying on the deck.
Fiddleford chuckled humorlessly; knowing the reason why Bill had reacted so strongly took the joy out of it. He reached down and when Bill flinched again he pretended not to notice. Instead he set two protein bars in Bill's right hand before settling back onto the bench. "Unless you in particular want to be passed out due to malnutrition on the car ride, why don't you eat those?" Bill grumbled under his breath, something that just barely sounded like a "thank you," and opened one of the bars. "Why are you so afraid of cars anyway, Cipher? If ya don't mind me askin'."
"Why aren't youterrified of them? You humans are scared of spiders and snakes and dream demons, but the number one cause of young-adult deaths in America is car crashes. Maybe if we suddenly moved to Africa I'd be more terrified of people with guns and dirty water and diseases, but here in Oregon? Car crashes, definitely. Why aren't Pine Tree, Shooting Star, and the Ice Queen more terrified of cars? If they die before the age of thirty, it's almost guaranteed it'll be because of a car-related accident!"
"That'z quite a logical approach ta fear: I should've expected s'much from you," Fiddleford laughed. "But these kids: They've fought a demon. Two of 'em now, in fact. They ain't normal kids: The same death-rate statistics don't apply to 'em," Fiddleford pointed out. The implication was perfectly clear: 'You're more likely to kill them than anything else, wouldn't ya say?'
Bill shook his head in response. "Nope, wrong. I might actually resent that a little." Fiddleford waited for Bill to finish taking his final bite of the first protein bar. As Bill was opening his second he continued to explain. "I've already told the others this: I don't really fancy killing people too much. Maybe just because I know they might be useful later, I'm not sure, but either way I don't actually kill too often. And if I WAS going to kill, I think I'd use a car. How's that?" Bill looked up at Fiddleford and took a bite out of the second protein bar. "It'd be harder to prove I killed someone if they died in a car crash. Statistically speaking."
Fiddleford laughed and shook his head. "Touché."
"Toy sword."
Again, Fiddleford laughed. "I know what touché means."
"What's it mean?" Mabel asked.
"It literally translates to 'you stabbed me with your toy sword,'" Ford clarified for her, to which Mabel giggled in response.
Ford and Fiddleford talked idly as Bill finished his second protein bar. "Feeling better?" McGucket asked him.
"Much," Bill responded. "By the way: The yacht. What's with that? Looks expensive, and I'm betting you didn't build it. If you'd built it I have a feeling there'd be more lasers and scrap metal, less luxury benches and beer coolers."
"Oh, you don' know, do ya?" Fiddleford asked.
"If it happened any time in the last nine months, then no."
"Fiddleford sold a lot of his inventions after Weirdmageddon," Ford supplied. "They were worth a pretty penny or two."
"I'm sure," Bill agreed.
"Hey Ford! Why don't ya sell some of your inventions? We'd be loaded then!" Stan said, rubbing his hands together, picturing himself swimming in an ocean of cash.
"I only sell a few inventions here and there, whenever I need extra money. I don't particularly want loads of extra cash," Ford responded, waving his twin brother's dejected look off.
"You just don't want people to have the same cool toys you do, Fordsie," Bill argued, standing up and sitting correctly this time on the bench next to Mabel, Fiddleford still sitting a few short feet to his left.
Ford laughed. "That too."
"I'm glad to see that the two of you are... Less tense," McGucket said, glancing between Ford and Bill.
"Yes, well, Mabel didn't leave much of a choice in that," Ford said, crossing his arms and forcing his smile off of his face.
"Life's just easier when you two get along!" Mabel said enthusiastically.
"And we decided that if things kept going the way they were, Bill wouldn't live very long, so... We kind of had to do something," Dipper said. "Ford and Bill are actually working together in the lab now. You should stop by sometime," Dipper offered.
"Are they now?" Fiddleford asked, looking surprised. Dipper nodded and was about to start discussing what they worked on down in the lab, but he stopped when he noticed that Soos was pulling the boat up to the lake pier for docking.
"I'm afraid our conversation has to end here," Fiddleford said. "I've got breakfast plans with me son, but I'd be happy ta take ye up on tha' offer real soon." Everyone noticed instantly the sudden change in his accent.
'Funny man, that guy,' Bill thought. Stan poked Wendy and she groaned, pulling her hat down over her eyes at first before finally getting up. Ford picked up Mabel to carry her to the car, of which Dipper was thankful for.
As they were all stepping off the yacht and onto the wooden pier, Bill hesitated. "I have a question for you," Bill said, and Fiddleford could tell by the sound of his voice that he was serious.
"What is it?"
Bill eyed him cautiously through his strands of hair, shining silk under the dawn's gold light. "You've been fairly nice to me so far. Why? I know it's better not to ask sometimes, of course, but I like to know straightforward what people think of me and why they treat me the way they do."
Fiddleford frowned and appeared to contemplate the question. "Alright, I'll humor you, Cipher," he said, all traces of an accent gone this time. "I think you're dangerous, destructive, intelligent…. Quite a force to be reckoned with. And I know that your intelligence, if anything, can fuel that destructive nature of yours. Your past is a mystery, and I'm guessing it's anything but simple and pleasant. So, the reason why I don't treat you so bad? I guess it's because you're kind of exactly like me."
Bill hadn't been expecting that, and it showed in his eyes. He was intrigued, Fiddleford could tell, so he decided to clarify a bit.
"When a coworker didn't come to my retirement party, I built a giant robot and sent it on a rampage. I sent a massive electronic pterodactyl after my ex-wife. I built Gideon Gleeful's stupid robot version of himself just last year and a fake lake monster not long before that. I'm smart, and quite destructive, and I've always been a bit crazy. And yet, just getting a glimpse at the world you came from sent me further over the edge then I knew how to come back from: I ended up erasing my memories because of it. Life's complicated, our memories define us, we're both intellectual and destructive... So until I know more about your past, I won't... I can't judge you."
Bill stared at him for a moment longer before nodding, seemingly accepting what he'd said. With another quiet thanks to Fiddleford for picking them up from the island, Bill stepped down to the pier with the others and they began their short trek to the cars.
A/N: I love Fiddleford. Such an interesting character, he is. Don't you agree? ^^
Reviews=Love. Reality=Illusion. Universe=Hologram. Buy Gold=Bye.
Wait…. I'm not so sure 'bout that last one. XD